JUST LOSE IT

(A/N) Okay, so I figure I am gonna continue this story, I don’t know how long it will get but please read and if you like it- REVIEW!!! I love reviews- they keep me writing!!

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CHAPTER TWO: Resistance is Futile


K slammed his apartment door open wearily. The glow in the dark clock on the wall read two am.

He wanted to sleep, his entire body was crying out in need of it. But his mind just wouldn’t shut up. All he could think about was Tohma’s words, all he could feel was the other man’s hands, and it was driving him crazy.

K made his way into his small, fairly plain white bedroom with a faint tinge of red on his cheeks. He couldn’t believe he had allowed that to happen? How could he have gotten so carried away? How could he have let himself go like that?

Growling he raised his gun to his own head, holding it to the exact spot that Tohma had targeted earlier.

“Shut the fuck up!” he ordered, talking to himself. “Never lose it like that again. Never be weak, NEVER!”

For a wicked, fleeting moment he actually felt like pulling the trigger. He would rather do that than face Tohma ever again. But he couldn’t because suicide was weak and he was weak to think it.

And so, instead of blowing his own brains out, K slipped the gun under his pillow and lay down on his bed, pulling the sheets over himself. He needed to sleep.


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The next day K entered the NG building in a worse mood than he had ever been in. His blonde ponytail was even more unkempt than ever and there were faint shadows under his eyes.

“Is everything okay K-san?” Hiro asked from his perch in the studio, where he was tuning his guitar.

“It’s fine.” K answered with a slight frown before collapsing on the leather sofa at the opposite end of the room. The truth was he felt drained. Despite his orders to himself the night before he felt weakened somehow, he felt sick.

He didn’t know how he could bear it if he had to talk to Tohma that day.

Just then Shuichi burst in, a stick of strawberry pocky in his hand and a bright smile on his face: “OHAYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he cried, obviously high on something. K wondered vaguely if it was Yuki’s doing.

It was usually Yuki’s doing when Shuichi was happy. For that matter it was always Yuki’s doing when Shuichi was sad as well. K wondered how someone’s emotions and moods could just revolve around one person. He would never let anyone rule him in that way….or had he already?

No, Tohma may have played with him the night before but K would not let it happen again. He couldn’t, if he did…..

“Late again I see.” Suguru said from behind his keyboard. Hiro grinned and Shuichi looked pleadingly at K.

“Please forgive me!!!!” he cried, “I just got caught up in…something…back at home!!”

K managed a half smile, he had a good idea what that ‘something’ was. Normally he would have pulled his gun and threatened Shuichi into tears but today he just couldn’t seem to find the energy.

“It’s okay. Just get on with that new song, okay?”

Shuichi’s eyes widened slightly and he looked at K is shock. “No gun?” he asked timidly.

K’s gaze flickered for a moment and then a small frown graced his lips. “Do you want a gun Shuichi?” he asked quietly.

Shuichi shook his head and stumbled over to the microphone behind the glass. K was really freaking him out, more so than usual.

As the band finally began to practise their song K sighed in relief and lay back on the sofa. Just as his eyes were beginning to close he heard a soft voice beside him.

“Rough night K?”

K opened his eyes to find Hiro seated beside him, a sympathetic smile on his face. K swallowed, unsure of what to say. Here he was, at a loss of words again, what was happening to him? He usually had so much to say.

“Shouldn’t you be practising Hiroshi?” K asked, raising his hands slightly to pat his gun, which was tucked safe into its holster.

Hiro nodded and got up. “You don’t seem entirely yourself,” he observed, looking down at K with a thoughtful expression in his grey eyes. “If you want to talk about anything….”

“I’M FINE!” K snapped, pushing himself up from the sofa. “I just need a coffee is all; I’ll be back in a minute.”

With that he walked out of the studio, leaving the members of Bad Luck staring, gobsmacked, after him.


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K didn’t really have any intention of going down to the cafeteria for a coffee. He just needed to clear his head that was all. Damn Tohma for screwing with him!

He headed instead to the male toilets about three corridors down from the studio. Opening the door he was relieved to find that they were empty. K looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit. Smirking at his own reflection K pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket and began to dial a number.

He was going to call Judy; he needed to talk to her. She was his wife after all; he just needed to hear her voice. Remind himself that he was married, that he had a wife and kid, that there was nothing wrong with his life at all.

The phone rang at least five times before someone answered.

“Judy?” K asked hopefully.

“DADDY!!” a voice cried back, clearly overjoyed to hear his father on the line.

“Hello Michael,” K said with a small smile. “How are you?”

“Daddy! Daddy! I miss you!” Michael said with a slight tremble in his voice.

K sighed, he missed him as well, he really did.

“Is your mother there?” he asked.

Michael was quiet for a moment before whispering the word yes. K frowned, something was going on. “Can I speak to her?” he asked.

“Mummy’s busy at the moment.” Michael answered. “She told me not to disturb her…I don’t think I should daddy.”

K’s frown deepened and he wondered what Judy could possibly be doing. Then he heard it, a faint voice at the other end of the line. A man’s voice…Ark’s. K closed his eyes, how could he have forgotten? He should have remembered…he didn’t have Judy anymore after all…Ark did.

“Bye Michael.” K said dejectedly, pressing the call end button on his phone.

So he wasn’t going to get any reassurance from Judy? What did that matter to him? He didn’t need her, he didn’t need anyone.

Turning on the cold tap K splashed his face with a handful of icy water. Then he looked at his reflection once more and froze.

Standing right behind him, a small, amused smile on his face, was Tohma Seguchi. K’s mouth dropped open and he tried to tear his eyes away. “When did you come in?” he asked.

Tohma frowned, “Is that anyway to greet me K?” he moved forward, pressing his body against K’s back. “Aren’t you *happy* to see me?” he asked, snaking an arm around K to brush over his groin.

K groaned in self loathing as he felt his cock twitch to life. He couldn’t believe this. “Stop it.” He said in a voice that was very nearly pleading. Tohma grinned, his teeth shark like in the mirror. K closed his eyes, only to receive a sharp slap on the face.

“Look in the mirror.” Tohma ordered. “I want you to see yourself.” As K obeyed Tohma took the gun from his holster and threw it across the floor. K winced as he realised he was unarmed once more…weakened once more.

Tohma smirked at him and unbuttoned the top of K’s jeans.

“What are you doing to me?” K asked in a choked whisper, never tearing his eyes away from the mirror.

Tohma stroked K’s hair soothingly and kissed the side of his face. “I’m opening you up…taking control, setting you free…don’t you want it?”

K hissed as he felt the other man’s hand slide under his boxers to curl around his erection. “No!” he cried, the word turning into a moan as Tohma began to stroke.

Tohma’s other hand tangled roughly in K’s hair, jerking it hard. K cried out and tried to resist the urge to thrust forward into Tohma’s hand. As if he could feel the other man’s resistance, Tohma leant forward and whispered in K’s ear:
“Resistance is futile.”
Then, without further ado he bit down on K’s neck earning a pained whimper from the other man.
“I want to see your tears K,” Tohma said sweetly, his voice like honey. “I want to see you writhe in pain and pleasure. I want to fuck you until you don’t know who you are anymore…until you can’t see straight. I want you to submit to me…tell me you want it, do you want it?”

K moaned, his eyes watching Tohma in the mirror. “Faster.” He whispered. Tohma pulled his hair again.

“Do you want it?” he asked roughly, jerking K’s cock with all the strength he had.

“Yes…yes!” K cried, all thought and reason abandoning him. He would regret his words later, but right now…right now he just couldn’t think.

“Mmmmm…” Tohma moaned, burying his face in K’s hair as the blonde shuddered under his ministrations. “Then I will grant your request, but for now…come for me K..”

With those words K felt himself orgasm, his eyes closing and his body trembling in the ultimate pleasure…and pain. He had let it happen again.

Vaguely he felt Tohma fastening his trousers back up. K opened his eyes once more and saw Tohma staring at him in the mirror.

“Turn around.” Tohma ordered.

“What now?” K asked hoarsely.

Tohma smiled slyly and ran a finger over his own unsatisfied erection. “An eye for an eye K.” he said.

K felt his eyes widen and shook his head, “I can’t…I mean, I don’t…”

He was silenced however by his own gun being pointed straight between his eyes. When had Tohma picked that up? Damn it…K felt like slapping himself…or crying.

“Do it, on your knees.” Tohma ordered. Reluctantly K knelt down on the hard white tiles of the bathroom.

Reaching out with shaking hands he pulled down Tohma’s fly, not surprised to find that the other man wore no underwear. Once the other man’s cock was free K gulped at the size of the erection before him. He felt tears sting the corners of his eyes, he didn’t want this. Pleadingly he glanced up at Tohma’s face, hoping the other man would take pity, let him go.

But Tohma shook his head, still smiling, and cocked the trigger of the gun, aiming it squarely at K. “Do it.” He said softly.

K closed his eyes and leant forward. As he ran his tongue tentatively over the other man’s erection he felt a few small tears start to flow down his face. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing…he had never done anything like this before.

While it was true that he did like both men and women, K had never really done anything with another man, so technically he was still a virgin. And so he was going slowly, trying to figure out what Tohma wanted.

Tohma groaned and fisted his gun free hand in K’s hair. “Ahhh….K, as much as I enjoy your tears, I want to come…now and down your pretty little throat, so quiet for once.” With that he grabbed K’s hair roughly and thrust his dick hard into K’s mouth.

K started and almost gagged at the feeling, it was too big! But Tohma didn’t stop and K had no choice but to allow it. He wished he was at home, not in the men’s toilets with Tohma, allowing Tohma to fuck his mouth. He wished he was anywhere but there.

Then without warning Tohma came, spilling his better seed down K’s throat. K chocked and spluttered but Tohma was relentless.
“Swallow it.” He ordered.

K did, feeling sick at the taste.

When every last drop was gone Tohma pushed K away and fastened up his trousers. K landed on his back and closed his eyes. He couldn’t bear to look at Tohma.

The keyboardist smirked and bent over K’s trembling body. “I’ll fuck you later.” He whispered hotly into the other man’s ear.

Then he left, leaving K all alone for the second time.

K put his hand over his mouth and stumbled to his feet, fighting the sudden urge to be sick. But it was no use; he stumbled into a toilet stall and threw up, tears running hotly down his face. How could he be so weak? He felt disgusted with himself, what was happening to him? Why did Tohma have to play his games with him, of all people? What was the other man getting from this?

K splashed his face once more and spun around madly, searching for his gun. It was gone! Tohma had taken it with him. K slapped himself on the forehead, he was so stupid! Still, he had other guns at home…and that’s where he felt like heading anyway. Perhaps he should take the day off…

But then he remembered his band. Suguru…Shuichi and Hiro, he couldn’t do that to them. He was their manager; he had a commitment to them. He couldn’t leave them just because he was too stupid to resist Tohma.

With that K walked out of the men’s toilets and came face to face with Hiro who was looking at him with an unfathomable expression in his eyes.

“Are you okay?” The red haired guitarist asked, studying his manager carefully.

K opened his mouth, how long had Hiro been standing out there? Had Tohma seen him? What did he know? K closed his mouth, he felt like he was going to hyperventilate. Hiro had probably only just arrived; there was nothing to worry about.

“I’m fine.” K said shortly. “Don’t take too long in the toilet; you have a lot of practising to do today.”

Hiro nodded slowly, a frown on his face. K stood awkwardly for a moment before walking away quickly. He needed to sit down.


(A/N) hmmm…please review!!!