Close Quarters

Disclaimer: I don\'t own Hana Kimi

Chapter 2 – Buyer’s Regret

Mizuki was floating in a haze of warmth. She crinkled her forehead lightly as the dull ache of a hangover hovered around her senses. That was some party. Not to mention some dream.

She became aware of soft light through her eyelids. Not yet wanting to face the day, she rolled onto her stomach and pulled the blanket a little closer around her naked form.

Naked? Why was she . . .

Mizuki’s eyes flew open, instantly awake. She resisted the urge to bolt upright. Heart beating heavily in her chest, she took in her surroundings.

Sano was lying on his back in front of her. Her eyes traced the contours of his profile, mind struggling to put pieces together from her fuzzy memory. His shoulders were bare, so what else was? How did she end up on the floor?

Mizuki froze when a soft snore sounded behind her. Her heart started thumping even faster, causing her head to spin. Slowly, she turned her head. A broad, naked back met her gaze, along with a tuft of blonde-brown hair.

‘Oh shit.’

It wasn’t a dream. Bits of memory clicked into place around her throbbing headache.

‘Oh god, oh shit.’

She’d had sex. With both of them. At the same time.

Mizuki buried her face in the pillow, beginning to panic.

Sano knew. Nakatsu knew. Did someone else know? Would she have to leave?

‘Shit, shit, shit.’

She had to get out of the room. She had to put everything together, figure out what happened, and how she felt about it. Lying here naked between them was not helping.

Slowly, she crept out of bed and into the bathroom, grabbing some clothing from the floor. She winced at the soreness as she dressed hurriedly, not daring to look at herself in the mirror lest she start crying.

She tiptoed out of the bathroom on shaky legs and left the room, locking the door quietly behind her. Even though there were only a few students around, it wouldn’t help for someone to barge in on Sano and Nakatsu sleeping naked on the floor.

Mizuki flushed at the thought of them naked with her all night long. Overwhelmed, she leaned against the wall, arms clasped around her middle tightly. How much did she drink? She usually never got a hangover.

More pieces from the night before filtered in past the headache. Sano kissed her, said he loved her. But did he remember? The agony she went through the last time he kissed her drunk flashed through her like the ache of an old scar.

And what was she thinking, kissing Nakatsu, touching him like that? A flash of arousal cut through her panic. God, she really wanted both of them. But did Nakatsu really love her, or was he acting on a year of frustration and relief that she was a girl?

Mizuki lowered her head down and put her hands on her knees. She was hyperventilating at the jumbled thoughts in her head. What was she going to do?

A sudden thought caught her attention.

Julia. She could call Julia.

Mizuki looked around to find the clock in the hallway. Six-thirty A.M. It would be 2:30 in the afternoon in Los Angeles.

But where could she get access to a phone at this hour, and during break? The dorm manager would be asleep, the office closed.

She could get into the infirmary. She’d used the phone there to call her parents before. Dr. Umeda wouldn’t be there at this hour, which was good.

Mizuki darted down the stairs and out onto the campus. It was cold out, and her panting breath left clouds in her wake as she ran. It felt good to run, to have a direction that didn’t require thought. She bunched her hands into the sleeves of the sweatshirt she was wearing and ran up to the main building.

Thankfully, the side entrance was open. One door was usually was left open during break so students staying on campus could use the gym. Mizuki gratefully entered the warmer building and continued her dash towards the infirmary. Her feet led her automatically down the hall, to the left, and into the quiet sanctuary smelling of rubbing alcohol and cigarettes.

Her secret was known here too, but here it was safe. Umeda couldn’t care less if she was a girl.

She made a beeline for the phone and shakily punched in the familiar set of numbers. After several clicks, the ring on the line started.

“Pick up, please Julia,” Mizuki murmured.

After six rings, Mizuki was almost in tears. She was about to give up when the line clicked mid-ring.

“Hello?” a confused-sounding voice answered in English.

“Julia?”

“Mickey! I should have known when the caller ID said international. What’s up?”

Mizuki sat down in the desk chair with a slight huff, griping the receiver.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” Mizuki said, voice wavering.

“What’s wrong, you sound upset,” Julia replied, concern evident in her tone.

“I . . . slept with Sano.”

“Really?” Julia sounded excited. “That’s great! Wait, why are you upset?”

“We were a little drunk at the time. I don’t know if he remembers.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t forget that Mickey,” Julia said. “Well, he knows you’re a girl now, so that’s out of the bag. I’m sure he won’t tell anyone else.”

“He said he knew already, and that he loved me.”

“See, even better. If he hasn’t said anything before, he certainly won’t now. So why are you so worried?”

Mizuki pulled her knees up to her chest on the chair and wrapped her arm around them.

“Um, well . . . Nakatsu was there.”

Silence stretched for a few moments.

“What?!” Julia sputtered. “He was watching? I mean I figured him for a pervert, but-”

“He wasn’t watching,” Mizuki interrupted quietly.

“What?”

Mizuki sighed.

“He was sort of . . .participating.”

Another silence.

“How can you ‘sort of’ participate Mizuki? You’re either are or you aren’t. I have a hard time believing Sano would allow such a thing, he seems pretty possessive.”

“Actually, Sano asked if I wanted them both. And,” Mizuki paused, “at the time, I did.”

She paused again.

“And, um, we had been drinking.”

Mizuki waited, feeling uncertain.

“God, Mizuki, I thought you were smarter than that.”

Mizuki’s breath caught in her throat.

“W-what?”

“I mean, you fly halfway across the world to meet this guy you idolize, you fall in love with him, and the first chance he gets to be with you, and he asks you to be in a alcohol-induced three-way with another guy? That should have set off major alarm bells.”

“But Julia-” Julia plowed on, not listening.

“And with Nakatsu? The guy practically stalks you, shouting his ‘love’ to the whole school and hanging on you like he owns you. It’s just creepy.”

“It wasn’t like that!” Mizuki protested, “Sano said he loved me, and they were both so sweet and insistent. They would have stopped if I said so. I can trust them.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Julia’s cold tone struck Mizuki like a slap. Tears started to roll down her cheeks.

“T-that’s not fair. I’m just trying to figure out how I feel about what happened.”

“Look, Mickey, you really need to think about this, about these guys. I know how much Sano means to you, but you need to think this through. I mean, you live with these guys. What if he doesn’t take no for an answer? Where do you go then? What if they want you again, at the same time. Can you handle that?”

“I don’t know. But I trust Sano, I really do.”

Julia sighed.

“Be careful, okay? Sex changes things, and not always for the better. If you do anything, talk this out with Sano. He’ll want to talk about it if he really cares about you.”

“Okay.”

“Look, I have to go. Call or email later.”

“I will.”

“Bye.”

Mizuki held on to the receiver as Julia hung up.

Julia didn’t know Sano. If he’d known all this time that she was a girl, why didn’t he try something earlier? He was waiting for her to make the move, right?

‘And with Nakatsu?’

Nakatsu. He was pretty overbearing sometimes, but he was usually so sweet.

‘You’re so naïve.’

Was it naïve to believe in her friends? They’d helped her time and again, and they believed in her.

‘What if they want you again, at the same time? Can you handle that?’

That was really it, wasn’t it. What if they thought she was . . . easy? What if they assumed she’d want to do this again? Did she really want that?

Mizuki put her head down on her knees and curled up further on the chair. Her head hurt, she was confused, and Julia didn’t help like she was supposed to. What in the world was she supposed to do now?

She probably should talk to both of them, but just couldn’t face them right now. What if Julia was right?

Tears slipped down her face, and a little sob escaped her lips. She was never touching alcohol again.