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Kindness Won't Get You Anywhere	By : Meimi Category: Digimon > General Views: 1801 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon: Digital Monsters, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Kindness Won't Get You Anywhere

Part 2 - Evening Twilight

by Meimi

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STANDARD DISCLAIMER: I don't own Digimon.

SHONEN AI WARNING: This is a shonen ai fic and contains within it
romantic themes and hints of an intimate relationship between two
male characters. If this disturbs you in any way PLEASE do not
continue reading. And yes, I am sick and twisted, thanks for asking.

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Ken took an involuntary step back as the fallen angel drew closer.
She laughed at him as he did so. It was a low, sultry chuckle that
made his skin crawl from the sheer terror that was curling its way up
his spine in response. Part of him wished very much that Wormmon was
with him right now for moral support if nothing else. And in doing
so, Ken again realized the breadth of his many, many mistakes.
Wormmon was dead. Deleted because of his own damnable arrogance. He
was alone. He would always be alone and nothing would ever or could
ever change that. He deserved anything and everything he got, whether
it was a nightmare or not. Sighing despondently at his own
foolishness, Ken looked over at the gray-black water that was washing
up to shore and whispered, "I don't know."

"Really? Now that is interesting," Lady Devimon murmured, her
curiosity mounting as she watched the boy's shoulders slump in pure
dejection. Truly, this was the first time she had seen a human up
close. Asides from the usual nuisance, they had never interested her
before. Still, this little human was pretty much the only thing she
had run across on this cursed beach in a very, very long time. This
human might be the only surcease that would ever come. That was quite
a distressing thought.

"Nothing comes here that doesn't belong," she stated simply as she
reached towards the boy with her left hand. An indulgent grin crossed
her lips when he visibly flinched away from her extended claws. A
simple act of will caused them to shrink down to a normal size. She
waved the now smaller appendages at him tauntingly. "You do know
where you are, don't you little boy?"

"No. I don't," Ken replied flatly as he looked back at her with a
steely gaze. She was toying with him, obviously. He had expected it,
but that didn't mean he had to appreciate it. If the virus wished to
kill him, do it and be done with it. He had no patience for cruelty.
He was far too familiar with it and its effects.

"Impossible," Lady Devimon frowned. While his defiance amused her,
what he was saying confused her. "Improbable. You cannot come here
without wanting to be here. You cannot want to be here if you do not
know where here is." Scowling, she quickly reached up and poked him
in the forehead, "Somewhere up there you must know where you are."

Ken shook his head as he looked back at the water again. This did not
make sense. What she was saying did not make sense. Then again, the
idea of a perfect virus digimon striking up a conversation with him
instead of just ripping him to pieces didn't make much sense either.
"What is this place?" he asked after a moment's hesitation.

"The beach of lost souls," she answered as she also turned to gaze
out over the silent sea. "This is where the dead souls come when they
are weary of life." Waving her arm expansively at the black ocean,
she continued, "Somewhere out there, the true essence of Darkness
slumbers beneath the waves. That is what draws them here."

Dead souls? Interesting choice of words. Did that mean people who
were truly dead or those who were just going about the motions of
life because they didn't know anything else? "Why are you here?" Ken
asked, not really thinking about who he directed the question at.

She looked back at him, blinking in surprise. This little human was
rather impertinent. Was he truly that foolish or just so lost that
his actions didn't really register? Hmm, should she answer or not? It
wouldn't do any harm, though it certainly wouldn't improve anything
either. Some of the truth then. "My lord went off in search of
Darkness and the power inherent to it. He bid me wait here and here I
will remain until his return."

How strange, a virus loyal to her master, or at least that's what it
sounded like. Ken briefly wondered who her master might be, but he
couldn't hold on to the thought for very long. It was like a part
of him didn't want to do anything at all. The sound of the waves
lapping onto the shore was calming, though definitely not soothing.
It was too dead of a sound to ever soothe the fears that lurked just
beneath the surface of his mind. Why was he here? Was he dead inside
too? No answers were forthcoming in his thoughts. It just didn't make
sense.

"Ken~"

He looked around curiously. Had someone called his name? It couldn't
have been the virus beside him, he hadn't given her his name. Who~?

"Ken."

Turning around, he looked back up at the cliffs searching for
something, anything to make sense of what he was hearing. Who was
that calling his name? The voice... sounded almost familiar.

"Ken! Wake up!"

He took a step back towards the ocean, his eyes widening in something
bordering both fear and disbelief. Oh yes, he recognized that
haunting voice, though he hadn't heard it in a very long time. The
speaker had been dead for several years. There was no way he could be
hearing his voice now. Osamu was dead, long dead.

"Wake up! I can't help you there!"

This wasn't real, it couldn't be real. This was all a nightmare. It
had to be, everything was just a nightmare. Wasn't it? All thoughts
of the fallen angel who stood beside him vanished in the fear that
was bubbling up within, Ken closed his eyes on the beach... and
opened them again to darkness, utter darkness. Shooting up in bed, a
scream of terror freezing in his throat, he shuddered as reality
started registering in his mind. He was in his bed. It was nighttime.
He had just had a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. He was fine. He
was alone... and he was crying.

For this once, he didn't care. It had been too much, he shouldn't be
hearing his brother's voice as clear as if Osamu had been standing
over him shaking him awake. It shouldn't be like that. Collapsing
back onto his bed, Ken buried his face in the covers and let the
tears come. It should not be like that.

Lady Devimon had watched as the boy had faded from view. It seemed
that the little human had a guardian angel looking out for him. Ah
well, it wouldn't matter very much in the long run. Anything and
everything that came here always came back in the end. It was as
inevitable as the sea washing up to the shore. Shrugging at the
thought, she stood her lone sentinel upon the beach, staring out at
the unending ocean. She would wait for her master to return, and
perhaps the little human would return soon to break the monotony of
her long vigil. That would be nice.

~*~

Eventually, Ken had somehow managed to drift back off to sleep. He
had had no more nightmares during the night, he knew this instantly
when he awoke in the morning. Sitting up, he made a soft disgusted
sound as he wiped the dried crust left by the tears out of his eyes.
Crying in the middle of the night and then going back to sleep
afterwards did not make for a pleasant morning. No no, definitely
not.

Flopping back down onto his bed, he sighed wearily and tilted his
head to the side, looking down at the digital clock on his desk. He
had to get up soon for school. He didn't want to though. Briefly,
he toyed with the idea of tricking his mother into letting him stay
home for the day. But no, she would hover over him for the entire
day, driving him insane from her smothering, and wouldn't let Takeru
spend the night. That just would not do, he already had plans on what
he wanted to do to the blonde later on, and hell if he was going to
put them off just so he could be miserable at home instead of
miserable at school.

Grumbling his frustration at his own screwed up life, Ken hauled
himself up out of bed and down the ladder. He gave little thought to
the horrible nightmare of before. Perhaps he should have, but he had
other things on his mind now. He went through the motions of getting
ready for school: combing his hair, putting his clothes on and
joining his parents for breakfast. His thoughts were elsewhere
though, focused on a far more pleasant avenue of thought. He vaguely
noted a stray breeze of chill air as he got his books together for
school, but brushed it off as just another strange quirk of the
weather.

School was uneventfully dull. Ken barely paid attention to it.
Really, when had been the last time that he had needed to pay
attention? So what if he was a little arrogant about it, he didn't
even have to try to get through it. That certainly engendered a
little arrogance every now and then. Just because he took it a bit
further than he should have didn't necessarily mean it was a bad
thing... Did it? What a quandary everything had turned out to be. Not
too long ago he wouldn't have even considered his arrogance to be
anything more than his right for being superior to the others. Now,
he second-guessed anything and everything he did. Was it any surprise
he was depressed?

Maybe he would go insane, that would be something to look forward to.
Then again, his brief bout of insanity during the entire Chimeramon
fiasco had been extremely unpleasant and the aftereffects had been
horrid. No, never to go there again would be a good thing. So that
left him with just being normal, or as normal as he could be. At
least he had Takeru, for now.

The day was long, but eventually school thankfully came to an end. It
would take awhile for Takeru to get his things together and get to
the train, much less get on the train, but still Ken headed off
towards the train station. He could wait. He was patient. The walk
was pleasant, the weather was a bit on the cool side but not too bad.
There was a strange recurring ice cold breeze, but he paid scant
attention to it. It was just the weather being odd again. What else
could it be?

The train station was loud and crowded with far too many people for
Ken's caring, an unfortunately typical state of affairs for it. He
sighed and suffered the noise and the idiots who constantly invaded
his personal space as he walked around looking for someplace out of
the way that he could wait at and still have a good view of the
people disembarking. There were none. Grumbling his annoyance at it
all, Ken finally decided on a vacant spot against the wall underneath
a rather loud loudspeaker. He winced when an announcement practically
shrieked out overhead as he settled back against the wall. Crowds
were obnoxious. People had to be obnoxious in return to get the
crowd's attention. He understood this. That didn't mean he had to
appreciate it though, which he didn't.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose as yet another announcement screamed
overhead, Ken hoped fervently that Takeru arrived before he managed
to get the mother of all migraines. Closing his eyes to the hustle
and bustle around him, he leaned his head back against the wall and
let his mind drift away from the din.

He lazily studied random thoughts and discarded them as his mind
drifted along. He poked experimentally at the half-formed
speculations he had about his feelings for Takeru but soon abandoned
them. He just wasn't ready to face them just yet. He also shied away
from the dark, festering shadows of past recollections. The Kaiser
was not a good subject for today, or any day for that matter.
Deciding that the daily worries and annoyances were a bit safer to
peruse, he sorted through them and managed to stumble across the
strangeness he had felt from that dream he had had the night before.

That beach had seemed familiar somehow. But try as he might, he just
couldn't quite figure out why it did. There wasn't anything about it
that had stood out. It had been just an eerie dark and dull beach. In
fact, the only thing he could nail any sort of real certainty on had
been that virus digimon. He had never run across a perfect like her
before, but at least he could say he knew what she was. But that was
about it as far as his knowledge went, the rest of the beach just
didn't make sense.

What was it? The sand had been gray and featureless. The fog had been
thick and just as featureless as the sand. The horizon had been dark
and gray and as overcast as the rest of the sky. The water had been
dark and practically black the further out it went. The waves had
rolled in quietly, almost too quietly actually. What was that saying?
Ah, yes. It had been like the calm before the storm, eerie and silent
and full of foreboding. It had been as if the beach had been waiting
for something. Waiting for what though?

The sound of the waves had been almost calming and though he'd never
admit it, quite frightening as well. Why it had been frightening, he
didn't know, but it was certainly a mystery. In fact now that he
thought about it, he could almost imagine he could hear them as they
washed up onto the shore.

Ken wasn't sure how long he spent thinking about the sounds of those
damnable waves, but when a hand touched his shoulder gently it
startled him badly. His eyes whipped open to stare in
non-comprehension at a pair of clear blue eyes that were looking a
bit concerned.

"Ken?" Takeru asked hesitantly as his friend seemed to look straight
through him, not really seeing him. It had taken a bit of doing once
he had gotten off the train, but he had eventually found Ken. He had
been pretty surprised to find his friend leaning up against the wall
underneath a horribly loud loudspeaker and yet looked to be totally
oblivious to it. Frowning, he worriedly asked again, "Ken? Ken, are
you okay?"

Ken shook his head as the sound of the waves receded and Takeru's
question finally registered in his mind. It was foolish of him to get
so caught up in his own thoughts that he wasn't even paying attention
to the world around him. "Yes... yes, I'm fine," he murmured weakly
at first but with growing strength of will.

"Are you sure?" Takeru asked insistently as he squeezed Ken's
shoulder reassuringly. He didn't like this at all. Something was
obviously wrong, but he didn't know what to do unless Ken gave him
some sort of clue. It was quite frustrating, he did not like being
unable to help.

"Yes," Ken looked away as he answered. He was lying. Something was
wrong, though he wasn't sure what it was. He was quite certain that
Takeru knew he was lying too. Just so long as Takeru didn't push
though, it was fine. It had to be fine.

"Ken," Takeru started off and sighed in half-annoyance, half-worry.
He waited until Ken looked back at him before he continued, "I can't
help any if you won't give me anything to work with. So please,
anything will do."

Ken hung his head slightly as he quietly muttered, "I don't know. I
don't know what it is. It's confusing and I just can't seem to be
able to figure it out." He waved his right hand helplessly, unsure of
what else to say.

Takeru's frown deepened as he leaned back and asked, "Is there
anything you can tell me about it?"

Ken thought about it again for a moment and then shook his head.
There wasn't really any way to put this into words yet. He just
didn't know enough. "No, nothing yet. I need to think about it some
more."

"All right," Takeru said as he figuratively deflated in his mind. Oh,
he wasn't going to drop it, but pursuing it here would be fruitless
and probably wouldn't even help by the sound of it. "Talk to me when
you can, okay?" Smiling, he added, "I do want to help."

"I know," Ken almost whispered as he smiled back. "I just need to
think it through to where it makes some semblance of sense." Hooking
his arm through Takeru's, he started off towards the exit. "But let's
get home first before my mother sends out a search party."

~*~

It was much later that night when Takeru once again went over the
conversation they had had at the train station. After the requisite
fawning from Ken's parents, as Ken referred to it, they had all had a
rather pleasant dinner. It hadn't taken too much longer until Ken's
parents had finally gone to bed with instructions that they weren't
to stay up too much longer. And now that Ken was off in the bathroom
preparing for bed, he finally had time to really think about it. It
was just strange really. Ken genuinely seemed confused about whatever
it was and that really was odd. Ken was a genius after all, and
quite used to coming up with a solution to whatever problem that
might present itself.

Sighing his frustration, Takeru climbed up the ladder and flopped
down onto the bed as he tumbled his thoughts over in his mind. He
really, really wanted to help Ken if he could, but he couldn't if Ken
wouldn't tell him what the problem was. And if Ken didn't even know
what the problem was, then he was still back at square one.

He so wanted to help, incredibly so. He hated when Ken would withdraw
from him and everybody else. He hated how Ken just didn't seem to be
able to smile much. And he really, really didn't like the fake smiles
that Ken put up so often, the ones that masked everything and made it
look as if everything was fine. Everything wasn't fine. Something was
obviously wrong and he really needed Ken to communicate some so that
he could at least try to help make it better.

Hearing the soft squeak of the doorknob, Takeru tilted his head to
the side and watched as Ken walked into the bedroom. He blushed
slightly when Ken shot his a knowing glance before turning around to
lock the door.

"How nice, you're already up there." Ken smirked as he turned back
around and stalked towards the bed. "Well that at least gets one
thing out of the way," he chuckled low in his throat and gracefully
climbed up the ladder to his bed. "Now whatever shall I do with you?"
he asked playfully as he drew his body up over Takeru's.

"Oh I don't know," Takeru murmured huskily as he reached up to run
his fingertips across Ken's cheek and up into his long, silken hair.
"I'm sure you'll think of something." Smiling up at the hungry look
glinting in Ken's amethyst eyes, Takeru pulled him down into a kiss
that was anything but innocent.

Afterwards, Takeru worriedly watched Ken as the boy dozed beside him.
Oh, the sex had been quite wonderful. Ken really was very good.
But even though he had enjoyed it a great deal he could also tell
that a part of Ken just hadn't been in it. And that revelation made
him worry even more. Sighing, Takeru reached over and carefully
brushed a stray lock of raven hair out of Ken's closed eyes. "I wish
you would tell me what's wrong," he whispered as he resigned himself
to what was obviously going to be a long night of watching over Ken.

The soft lulling sound of waves washing up onto shore was the first
thing that Ken's mind registered. This was swiftly followed by the
uncomfortable sensation of grit in his hair and the realization that
he was lying down somewhere, most likely on that beach. This
speculation was confirmed when he opened his eyes up to the unwelcome
sight of a gray, overcast sky. Grimacing his distaste at being here
again, Ken sat up and vaguely noted that the fog had moved out to sea
and that he now had an unobstructed view of the entire beach.

All in all, the beach was rather dull and unspectacular to the eye.
The sand was gray. The sea was gray. The sky was gray. And the cliffs
were gray as well, though they also looked quite forbidding in how
precipitous and sheer they were. The person who gave monotony its
definition must have visited this beach at least once.

Why was he dreaming about this place again? He glanced further down
the beach as he muddled this question over in his mind and finally
noticed the fallen angel standing at the edge of the surf a good
distance away. She stood statuesque, neither moving or seeming to pay
attention to much of anything as she gazed out at the ocean. It was
as if she were waiting for something. Judging by the rather short
conversation they had had during the previous dream, it stood to
reason that she was still waiting patiently for her lord, whomever
that might be.

For a moment he hesitated in indecision as to what to do, then shook
his head at his own foolishness. Yes, he was frightened of her, she
was a perfect virus digimon and could easily kill him should she
decide to do so. But, he was more frightened of this damnable beach
than he was of her and she probably already knew he was there anyway.
Shrugging to himself, Ken trotted across the sand towards her. Maybe
she could help him figure out why he was here.

"You came back," she said simply when he was within hearing range.
She didn't move as she spoke, simply continued to stare out at the
ocean.

It was more of a statement than a question, but still he answered it,
"So it would seem."

She raised her arms slowly, wrapping them around her waist before she
asked, "Why?"

"I... I don't know," Ken muttered weakly as he turned his gaze out to
the ocean. He hugged himself as he shivered from a chill that had
nothing to do with the drab weather of this place.

A dead silence descended between them for a time, Ken not knowing
what to say and she didn't seem to be inclined to speak to him this
time. Finally, Lady Devimon shrugged to herself, looking as if she
had lost an argument with herself when she asked, "Are you lonely?"

"W~what?" Ken stuttered in surprise as he whipped around to look
back up at her. Where in the world was that coming from?

She turned her head, gazing down at him curiously as she asked again,
"Are you lonely?"

"I don't... don't understand." Ken shook his head as his mind whirled
around the seemingly innocent question. Was he lonely? And what did
that have to do with anything? He had always been alone. But lonely?
Did one have to be lonely to be alone? "I... guess... so..."

"Have you done something in your past that you regret?" She turned
her body to face him fully as she asked him these last questions.
"Something you regret so much you might even wish yourself dead
because of it?"

He stared up at her, shocked at what she was asking of him. Grimacing
at a truth he knew far too well, Ken looked away and out at the gray
ocean as he answered with a simple, "Yes."

"And there is your answer," she said as she tilted her head to the
side. "You are alone. There is nothing to hold you anywhere. You wish
to die, perhaps even to not exist at all. This world is answering
that part of yourself. It will consume you if you keep returning."
Turning back to face the sea once more, she concluded, "Find a way to
live with yourself or you will keep returning to this place until you
truly are dead."

Ken took a step back, her words almost feeling like a physical blow
to him. He was the one responsible for his being here? Did he truly
wish to die so much? Surely he had something to stay in the real
world for... His parents? No, he didn't really feel anything for them
anymore. There was Takeru though. As confused as he might be about
his relationship with Takeru, surely it was something to live for. It
had to be, there wasn't anything else. Nothing at all.

"Now that's not something you see here everyday," Lady Devimon
announced nonchalantly, interrupting Ken's madly spiraling thoughts.
Blinking dazedly, he joined her in staring out at the ocean as an
enormous plume of water erupted about a mile or so out from the
beach. What could that possibly be?

~*~

"Wake up. Wake up! Wake up, damn you!"

Takeru shot up in bed, his eyes flying open as he frantically looked
around in the darkness for whoever it was who had yelled at him to
wake up. His muddled thoughts collected themselves together after a
few seconds of this and he stilled. He was at Ken's. They had gone to
bed. He must have fallen asleep sometime during the night when he was
watching Ken. And Ken, he reached out hesitantly instantly feeling
his friend beside him, Ken was still asleep.

Who had yelled at him then?

Takeru shivered as an abnormally cold breeze wafted across his bare
skin. It was swiftly followed by an eerie sense of urgency. Something
was wrong. What was it? It must be Ken, something must be wrong with
Ken. There wasn't anything else it could be.

Leaning forward, Takeru again reached down to touch his friend. He
frowned, feeling Ken shuddering slightly beneath his touch. Ken must
be having a nightmare. Steeling himself, Takeru gently shook his
friend and called out, "Ken? Ken! Ken, wake up. You're having a
nightmare, Ken. Wake up!"

Ken blinked and gaped in shock as the beach was replaced by unending
darkness. The roaring of the water as it exploded upwards into the
air faded until he couldn't hear anything at all. What had happened?
Where was he now? He was alone here, so very alone. He shuddered as
the fear bubbled up within. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't
want to die. He wanted to be at home. He wanted to be with his
family. And most of all, he wanted to be with Takeru.

Ken gasped raggedly, a scream of horror choking in his throat as
reality changed again. He was lying down somewhere. Someone was
shaking him and calling his name. Who? Realization dawned after a
moment and he instantly sat up, wrapping his arms around Takeru as if
his life depended on it. He was home. He was with Takeru.

Takeru blinked in surprise at the desperation of Ken's embrace. It
must have been one hell of a nightmare. Smiling gently, he settled
Ken more comfortably in his lap and stroked the boy's hair soothingly
as he murmured, "It's all right. I'm right here."

Ken shuddered one last time before calming down enough to be able to
speak. "It was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. It was just
a nightmare," he repeated over and over again as if doing so would
make him believe it.

"Ken," Takeru started off worriedly. Ken did not sound all right.
Giving the boy a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, he continued,
"Please, tell me what's wrong."

"No no," Ken shook his head against Takeru's shoulder. If he gave
voice to it, then that would make it real. Wouldn't it? He scowled at
the circular logic an instant later. He wasn't stupid enough to
actually believe that... was he? "It's fine."

"Ken!" Takeru admonished sternly. "I need you to tell me something.
Keeping it all bottled up inside won't make it go away." He softened
his voice as he added, "I just want to help."

Ken froze. Takeru's logic made far more sense than his own at the
moment. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to say something. Sighing, he closed
his eyes wearily and began, "I've been having a recurring nightmare
the past few days. They're not the same, but they're set in the same
place. It's some sort of beach. It's dark there and cold and gray,"
he trailed off in uncertainty when he felt Takeru shiver at his
words. "Takeru? What is it?"

"A gray beach with tall cliffs?" Takeru asked in growing horror. "And
the sound of the waves are too quiet to be natural?"

"Yes... how did you know?" Ken stilled as he waited for Takeru to
answer. How did Takeru know about that horrible place? If Takeru knew
about it then that made it real now didn't it? Had she been right?
Was he going to die?

Takeru shuddered and hugged Ken tighter to him. He would never let
go. He wouldn't lose Ken to that horrible place like he had almost
lost Hikari. "Don't worry," he mumbled as he buried his face in Ken's
raven hair, "It'll be all right. Hikari has been there before. We'll
go see her tomorrow. Together we should be able to figure out a way
to keep you here." I can't lose you, he added silently to himself. I
can't, I won't lose you.

Ken blinked blankly. Hikari? Hikari had been to that damnable beach
before? Strange, he had never heard anything about it back when he
was the Kaiser. He really didn't want to see any of the other Chosen
Children, but if it would keep him away from that beach, then it was
at least worth looking into.

He didn't want to die. Wishing to die was a foolish pursuit. It was
better to live. Things could always be fixed, always be forgiven,
always be rectified as long as he was still alive. Once he was dead,
that was it. No more chances. He wanted those chances. Didn't he?

Sighing, Ken curled his legs up closer to Takeru for warmth. He was
so very cold nowadays. Sometimes he wondered if he would forget what
it would feel like to be warm if this continued. Maybe Takeru was
right, maybe they could fix it and he would be warm again. It was
something to hope for. And didn't he have the perfect friend as far
as that was concerned?

Smiling at the whimsical turn his thoughts had taken, the Child of
Kindness hugged the Child of Hope closer to himself. He could try a
little hope. No harm in that.

_____________________________________________________________________

::hears the groans of frustration:: I know, I know. I skipped over
describing a sex scene. As strange as it might sound coming from me,
I just didn't feel like writing one for once. Yeah, I know.
Shocking!! ::weak laugh:: Sorry, maybe next time. Anyway, I hope
you enjoyed Lady Devimon. She'll be back for more next chapter and
you'll get to see what the hell was thrashing around out there in the
water. That and Taichi too! What fun!

Lions and tigers and bears! Oh my! Taichi and Hikari and Lady
Devimon! Oh my! Will Ken's sanity survive it all? ::cackles:: Or
Takeru's temper for that matter? ::heh-heh:: We'll see. ^_~
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Kindness Won't Get You Anywhere