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Fear, Contentment and Lemon	By : Akuma Category: +G to L > Hunter x Hunter Views: 5846 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter x Hunter, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Fear, Contentment and Lemon
- 2-Contentment
- 1
- 2
Disclaimer:
Do I own them? Nope.

Notes:
a sequel to Fear just because I think I should make something Killua centric. So
it�s a weird fic but so are my other works (and me). This is the best I could
get regarding the incestuous relationship between the two Zaoldyecks from
Killua�s point of view. I�m trying my best to point out things that no one
noticed and I weren�t sure I�ve accomplished that. So please tell me if
there�s something about it! Your feedback(s) will inspire me a lot!

Warning:
mention of the birds and the bees, shounen ai, not much�

Contentment

He
still remembered those days. He could still replay it in his mind at nights when
his restlessness kept him awake. It accompanied him when he felt lonely; first
as a nightmare then as a cherished memory.

He
remembered their first kiss. He could almost recall the foreign taste that
surely sent his curious tongue seeking to identify it. He remembered their first
night together and the confusion of the sudden pain and mind-numbing pleasure it
brought. He remembered the respect and worship then the fear then the hatred
then the confused need then longing then the love�.

The
raging fire that consumed him his soul -lust, curiosity and hatred- calmed as
the time went and turned into a flame that warmed him instead of burning him.
And for once in his life he felt save�satisfied� happy� calm� quiet�.

Well
he was anything but quiet and calm last night and other nights before that since
he wasn�t the type to be quiet during sex and besides it�s usually his lover
who silenced him with a kiss or a gag or whatever. It depended on their mood,
really. But the point was they didn�t bother to muffle his screams and cries
last night. Partially because they were in the mood for a rough animalistic sex,
but mostly because of their recent fight.

However,
despite that teeny-weeny fact, he was mostly quiet and satisfied with their
relationship. And although sometimes it tended to be a monotonous cycle of
waking up, a quickie, bath, breakfast, boredom, lunch, more boredom, dinner with
his lover and finally sex till midnight, he wasn�t bored. Or maybe it was
safer to say he wasn�t bored yet.

Sometimes
the fact made him pause and think. Being whimsical, naturally nothing lasted in
his interest long enough. Of course there were some exceptions but he honestly
never imagined himself to engage in any long-term relationship with anyone. Be
it sexual relationship, romantic relationship or even marriage. There was a
quenchless curiosity inside him that sought to learn, see, feel, taste,
experience everything �anything new! So why did his relationship with his
lover last so long?

He
felt his mental alarm went off, signaling the time to wake up to face another
brand new day, before he even dwelled on that thought. He opened to see an
almost identical pair that surely had been opened for quite some times now. That
brought another memory back. He recalled the first time he saw those eyes
staring at him when he woke up and the confusion it brought him. That first time
his lover left as soon as he woke up.

The
intensity of those eyes when they look at him made him think, though. Was that
what made their relationship last, then? The intensity of those eyes that see
into his heart and soul, scaring him with the possibility of someone knowing him
too well and seeing through his lies, making him unable to do anything else but
tell the truth, disrupting his lie protected-mind yet calming his restless soul,
comforting him with his presence alone.

No,
it wasn�t. There was something more.

He
stared into the familiar blankness without even wondering what was behind the
look, the thought that cross his lover�s mind as they stare at each other like
this. He had long since giving up the hope of understanding his lover. Was it
what kept him here? The mystery? Not knowing what ran through his lover�s
mind? Being surprised over and over again by someone he had known all his life
with little facts that he had known all along?

No,
he decided. There must be something else.

He
heard his lover�s raspy greeting and answered readily. Then he leaned up to
kiss his lover. He marveled how soft and sweet his lover�s lips were as they
kissed and wondered how his lips tasted and felt like. By the way his lover
pressed their bodies closer together, he must�ve felt good. So he pressed
closer without (much) amorous intent. Sticky substance they didn�t bother to
clean up last night glued them together and his hands itched to wipe it away,

When
his lover broke their kiss, he intended to do just that but he was once again
pulled close. He tried to wriggle out of their sticky situation but his
movements only served to smear the mess all over his and his lover�s stomachs
and wake his lust for the feel of his lover inside him again. So he gave up,
mumbling something he didn�t even understand just because he had to give
comment about it.

He
let his lover�s heartbeat under his palm calmed his hormones as his mind
wandered again. Was this why they�re still together? The silence and peace
that spoke comfort to his soul? No. It was close but not quite right.

Suddenly
his lover loosened his embrace around him so he used the opportunity to slip out
of the bed. His unnatural speed helped him escaped the hand that reached out to
pull him back to bed. It was already more than enough for cuddling and though he
wasn�t a morning person, he had sticky mess on his abs that he�d rather
clean as soon as possible. Besides, he smirked internally, there were other
�fun� things they could in the bath.

He
pulled the curtain that shielded them from the rest of the world, for once
feeling grateful they had a top-floor apartment, which made it impossible for
anyone to see the view he presented. Though he was confident there was nothing
wrong about his alabaster skin and slender built, he�d rather it became a
private view for his lover only.

Turning
around to see his lover shielding his eyes, he found himself wondering again.
Was it his lover�s body that made him stay? The silky black mane? The
well-built pale body? The dark orbs that showed nothing and everything at the
same time? He pushed these thoughts aside. That was his lust speaking and not
his heart.

Then
what was it? What made him stay? What made him bear the coldness of the man?
What made him choose to stay? What made him let himself owned and possessed
completely by someone?

He
looked away from his lover, feeling wary all of a sudden. His sticky skin gave
him a reason to avoid the man�s unspoken question about his sudden movement,
which hung thickly in the air. �I want to take a bath.� Care to join me? He
didn�t know what posses him to say that. Why did he want the presence of the
man near him always? Why did he want to stay with the older man?

As
silence answered him, he questioned the man�s value to him. Should he stay?
Could he bear another day of his lover�s coldness? Why did he bear it all this
time?

�Illumi?�
he called hesitantly. He hated sounding so weak, insecure, uneasy, nervous,
disturbed. Yet that�s what he felt right that moment. Weak, insecure, uneasy,
wary, nervous, disturbed, empty without his lover�s presence near him.

His
lover made an indecipherable noise and got up, lifting his spirit slightly. When
the taller man towered before him, he felt conflict in his heart. Something told
him this was not right- no! Amiss. Something was out of place. Something that
made him stayed with his chosen lover.

But
then his lover leaned down to capture his lips in a kiss and he felt relaxed
emotionally and physically as he accepted the gentle assault and answered it in
kind. He smiled into their kiss, enjoying the way his lover calmed and comfort
him without words. The moment they broke their kiss, he knew the answer he�d
been looking for.

�Let�s
go for that bath.� His lover said as he took his hand.

He
smiled when he was led to the bathroom.

Contentment.
The knowledge that he wasn�t alone. The peace that his lover brought to his
soul. The completion that warmed him. Contentment was something his restless
soul looked for. It was an anchor to reality, someone to return to, someone who
returned to him.

And
what more could he asked for?

A/N:
I don�t know how to end this so I might edit this someday. If I�m not too
lazy that is. I originally wanted to post Fear and Contentment as one shots but
then I think why not post them as a continuation fic? So what do you think?
Should I make them into two separated stories or put them together as is? Tell
me what you think about it! The 3^rd chappie is coming and this time
it�s lemon (or lime. I haven�t decided). R&R!
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Fear, Contentment and Lemon