Come What May

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation nor do I make any money from using the characters. I am a part owner of Kyosuke, though.

NC-17

If you have time, please review. Thank you!!

Note: Don’t forget, Ashcat and Kri – it’s their story, too.


Come What May

Chapter 2
Stand Inside Your Love

You and me
Meant to be
Immutable
Impossible
It's destiny
Pure lunacy
Incalculable
Insufferable
But for the last time
You're everything that I want and ask for
You're all that I'd dreamed
Who wouldn't be the one you love
Who wouldn't stand inside your love

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I jumped and swung my sword hoping for the killing blow, but it was too late and I was overrun, killed by a swarm of enemy ninjas.

“Fuck!” I shouted as I threw down the play-station 2 controller. Neko-Yuki lifted his head long enough to blink his gold eyes at me before he returned to sleep.

I glared at the TV screen as it taunted me. 42 hours 28 minutes worth of play.

Continue?

Exhaling, I lay back and stared at the ceiling. I was bored beyond belief. I had already been to the Dojo and had played video games for over two hours.

So far I had written four songs – I had sent them to Suguru and Hiro in London. They had sent me back the music to one – and I had to admit it was awesome. I suspected that Kyosuke had collaborated with them. Hopefully they could tear themselves away from Kyo long enough to work on the rest of the songs. I would like to be able to try out one or two new songs while we were on the road.

I sighed deeply. The three of them were so cute together, you could see how much they enjoyed each other’s company. I was deeply envious of the love and affection Hiro, Suguru and Kyo were able to show openly. It wasn’t as if they were doing each other in public - although occasionally they did - it was more the sweet words and loving looks they gave one another. And although they were still new, they seemed to have an acute sense of each other’s moods and how to make their partners more comfortable.

Was it Kyosuke who made the threesome viable?

Not for the first time, I realized my life would have been far simpler had I fallen in love with Kyosuke. But I hadn’t. Instead, I had opted to take the far more difficult path and stay with the bane of my existence.

Eiri was too enticing, too addictive for me. Fucking jerk or not, my love was stuck to him like glue and no amount of solvent would change the situation.

At the moment, my bane was working and frankly, I felt we could use a break from one another. He was driving me crazy with his snide comments, constant judgments and the need to know where I was every waking moment. I was certain I was making him crazy as well. I needed to get away, to get out for a while. But all my friends were in London except Mirai and she was working.

An idea struck me and I rolled onto my stomach as I reached for my phone.

“Hey, favorite sister, what are you doing?”

“Favorite sister, my ass!” She snorted at me as she opened the door. “I’m your only sister.”

I hugged her, “Yeah. Good thing, too. I don’t think I could handle more than one.”

She pulled back and studied me, “You look better. How are you feeling?”

“Better,” I answered.

“What’s wrong?”

“Tch,” I scoffed at her.

“So what did he do this time?”

“He is Eiri,” I answered.

She laughed, reminding me of how I had once sounded. Placing the back of one hand to her forehead and throwing her head back dramatically she said, “And you are Shuichi. Forever locked in mortal combat and forever locked in love.”

I stared at her, “You read too many of my boyfriend’s sappy books.”

“Yeah, I do. You owe me by the way,” she complained.

“For what?” I asked suspiciously. One thing about Maiko – she had proven herself to be rather sneaky when she wanted to be.

“For threatening to board the beast in front of your boyfriend,” she smiled at me as she motioned me to follow her into the kitchen.

“What?” I said with outrage. “Are you talking about neko-Yuki?”

Nodding she answered, “Yes.”

“But, you said you would take care of him,” I protested.

“You know Daisuke is afraid of him and then that nice Tohma-sama said Yuki-San would probably watch him if I made a fuss.”

Nice Tohma-sama? Had my sister lost her mind? I sighed. “So you set Eiri up, didn’t you?”

She shrugged, “Oh, he would have come around eventually but, we just hurried the process a long.”

I sat at the table, “Gods, Maiko, you have no idea what he put me through.”

“Oh, really? After bailing your sorry ass out of trouble a few times, I would take exception to that statement. I think I know a little of what you went through,” she glared at me. “It worked out for you in the end, so stop playing the role of the injured party. You know the cat was much happier with Yuki-san, so you aren’t going to insist you are angry about the situation, are you?”

“Of course not, Maiko, but…”

“Then shut up about it,” she sighed. “Besides, you have put Yuki-san through the ringer a few times yourself, haven’t you?”

“Geez, Maiko, could you turn off the “Yuki Eiri Is My God” sign?” I shook my head. “I swear, Eiri could be the devil himself and you would still think he was the most wonderful person in the world.”

Sitting down beside me she said, “I do think he’s a good person. But that doesn’t mean he’s not self-absorbed and aloof. And quite honestly, he can be something of a prick. Just as you can. Do you expect him to be perfect? Because he never will be and you won’t be either. He’s made some mistakes – just as you have. You used to love him far more unconditionally than you do now.”

“Yeah, I know,” I answered quietly.

“Don’t you think it’s hard for him to see you like you are now? Don’t you think he has some regrets about how he treated you?”

I reached for a box of strawberry pocky on the table, “I know he does. But those regrets can’t change me back to what I was.”

“No, they can’t change you back, but you can at least recognize them instead of brooding over the bad times. Why don’t you cut him some slack?”

Glaring at her, I bit off the end of the stick of pocky I was holding, “I have my reasons.”

“Do you have your ‘reasons’ or do you have your ‘stubborn pride’? If being with him is so awful, why bother?” She asked in exasperation.

“Because,” I sighed and then continued, “he is the devil himself and I have no power over the spell he has put me under.”

Laughing she said, “Well, I’ll agree with that. All anyone has to do is glance at him and his gorgeous looks could spellbind them.”

“My point exactly,” I said before I stuffed the rest of the pocky stick in my mouth. “He’s like crack for me, Maiko. He’s bad for me but I can’t seem to quit him.”

“Honestly, Shuichi, I’m tired of your attempt to convince me Yuki is solely to blame for your problems,” she answered sharply. “Have you thought you might bad for him, too? If you want to be with him quit whining about it and do something positive to fix the situation. Use your endless source of energy and channel it into finding another way to interact.”

I chuckled and said, “Didn’t I tell you? We’re going to therapy beginning next week.”

“What? You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

“Nope,” I shook my head and laughed openly. “I’m sure Eiri and I are about to make a very prominent, very affluent therapist quit his profession.”

“Shuichi, this is great news. You’ve needed some help for a while. You hardly ever talk about what happened after Yuki-san left. You changed so much and became so angry, maybe a therapist will help you deal with all you’ve been through.”

I was staring at her as I said, “Do you really think that?”

Nodding she answered, “Yes, I really think that. You have so much pain locked up inside you, the only way you allow any emotion out is through anger. Therapy might help you find your way back to what you were. Maybe to help you be happy again.”

I chewed on another stick of pocky, “That’s similar to what Hiro said to me.”

“Really?” she smiled. “Have you heard from Hiro since your return to Japan?”

I nodded as I took another bite of pocky.

“And?” She prompted, “How is he?”

“He’s still part of one big happy family,” I answered.

She laughed again, “My, but you are bitter. It’s not Hiro’s fault he snagged Kyosuke away from you. Or, would it be Kyosuke snagged Hiro-kun away from you? Or, even worse, Suguru snagged both of them away from you?”

“You are partially right, you know,” I admitted. “Sometimes I wish things had been different with Kyo.”

“Yes, you were very sad when Kyosuke went away. But Shuichi, you never loved him the way you love Yuki-san.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” I answered with frustration.

Once again her laugh rang throughout the room, “So did you ever have a good heart to heart with Hiro?”

“A couple of them actually,” I was leery of the subject change. “We are still struggling with finding a balance, but we are better.”

“And you settled your differences?”

Nodding, I said, “Yeah. Sort of. He’s still pissed at me for treating him the way I did, but hopefully he’ll come around. Eventually. I hope. He never could stay mad at me.”

“I don’t know, brother. I heard you speak to him during that time, you were horrible to him.”

I felt the tears prick at my eyes, “I was, Maiko. I was horrible to him, he didn’t deserve it.”

“But he also should have known better,” she reached for some pocky herself. “You weren’t yourself at the time.”

I placed my head in my hands as I said, “I really did a number on him.”

She tipped her head, “You never have said, what exactly did you do, Shu?”

“I… I, uh,” I stammered.

“Well,” she started for me, “I know that you were his first boy.”

“His first boy,” I muttered as I looked into her eyes, so much like mine, yet filled with an innocence I had lost years ago.

What I had done to Hiro was an ugly story, and not one I liked to think about much less re-tell, but of all people, Maiko deserved to know. Well, some of it, anyway. She and Hiro were close enough to be brother and sister.

“You know that Hiro and I were together constantly after Eiri left. Even when I was staying with Mirai, he stayed near, checked on me constantly. I’m pretty sure that his devotion to me served to ruin his relationship with Ayaka.”

“Really? Do you think so?” Maiko asked, her eyes wide. “He never seemed broken up about it to me. Besides, she’s happily married now, why are you still worried about it?”

I smiled patiently at her. Why was I worried about it? Because I knew for a fact I was the reason they broke up. He may not have been in love with her anymore, but I was the reason, the final nail in the coffin of the Hiro and Ayaka’s relationship. When her mother became ill and she asked for Hiro to come help her, he opted to stay with me. He stayed with me and rejected her. Poor Ayaka. I may have harbored some jealousy for her, but she had not deserved that. In the end I had taken both Eiri and Hiro from her.

Inhaling deeply, I continued my story, “When Kyo showed up, Hiro was still by my side, giving me cautious warnings about not trusting Kyo. Looking back on it, I find that memory particularly amusing,” I smiled at my sister. “When Kyo disappeared, Hiro, the fool, made it clear he wanted more than friendship from me. So I gave him what he wanted. But it wasn’t what I wanted Maiko and I hurt him. I was selfish and afraid of being alone so I took advantage of him, but I didn’t really want him, not that way,” my voice shook. “In the end, I was cruel and I hurt him, over and over. Make no mistake about it, I used him, Maiko.”

I looked into my sister’s concern-filled eyes, “Hiro was the first and most devastating casualty in my ‘reign of terror.’ But at some point, thankfully, I regained a small amount of control and refused any further relationship with Hiro. He thinks I pushed him out of my life because didn’t love him, but it was for his emotional protection that I denied him. And my rejection of him used up the last bit of a conscience I had.”

“You know, Maiko, I’ve never had the heart to tell him, but it wasn’t only Kyo’s disappearance that made me lose control. In the end, what really sent me over the edge was what I did to Hiro,” I said quietly as I felt the tears prick at my eyes again.

After a moment I added, “And the rest, you know. I lost all restraint, I used everyone and anyone that was stupid enough to let me near. That was the reason I wouldn’t – no, couldn’t - let Hiro be a part of my life anymore, it wasn’t because I didn’t love him, it was because I did. ”

“Gods, Shuichi,” Maiko finally said with sorrow etched deeply into her features. “Have you told him this?”

“Not yet. How can I? But I need to because…” I cleared my throat and brushed at the tears coursing freely down my face, “because Hiro thinks I was disgusted by him. Just before I left for London, the fool took me aside and told me that he knew I had been sickened by his touch. And when I rejected him it was because… I didn’t love him.”

I couldn’t speak anymore, I was crying too hard.

“Shh,” Maiko said as she enveloped me in her arms and let me cry.

While she held me and I cried, I remembered the rest of the story. The part I could not possibly tell Maiko. The part I could not possibly tell anyone.

A few weeks after Kyo had disappeared, Hiro and I went out one evening and drank heavily. I ended up staying at his house that fateful night. I passed out on his bed but awoke to the feel of my best friend’s lips on mine. I’m certain he thought I was still asleep when he did it. Hiro’s kiss did something to me – it unleashed a horrible despair.

I couldn’t get the kiss out of my head. It was so wrong, incestuously wrong. But Hiro wanted me. Hiro had always given me everything. Hiro had sacrificed becoming a doctor to stay with me. Hiro had sacrificed his relationship with Ayaka to stay with me.

And I was so alone. How could being with Hiro, someone who loved me, be wrong?

But it was wrong.

I became angry at him for giving up so much to be with me. I became angrier when I realized he knew I was still in love with Eiri. Why would he want to be with me when he knew that? How stupid was he? I began to resent him for his unwavering devotion to me. He would do anything for me, go anywhere to save me. His feelings were eerily similar to my own insane attraction to Eiri.

Hiro was a bloody fool about me, just as I had been about Eiri.

So I gave Hiro what he wanted, just as Eiri had done with me.

And Hiro had screamed with the pain, just as I had the first time with Eiri.

In those horrible, dark minutes, as I violated my friend because he was an idiot for loving me, I became Eiri. Cruel and cold, not caring if Hiro was feeling pain, and bringing him off in spite of it. Maybe because of it, now that I know a little more about Hiro’s kinks.

And the terrible aftermath as I stared at the bloody sheets and his love-filled eyes, as the sickness of what I had done to my best friend flooded my heart and soul. I remember running to the shower, trying to scrub away the evil I had become as I cried uncontrollably.

A few nights later, the same thing happened. It was almost as if I couldn’t stop myself, as if by hurting Hiro, I could turn him into someone more pathetic than I was. As if I could have some control. But all our ‘relationship’ accomplished was to drive me closer and closer to the brink of insanity.

And then, in order to save Hiro from further hurt from me, I rejected him. Just as Eiri had done with me.

It was the final step down the path of my destruction. After treating my best friend like a whore and turning my back on him, nothing seemed to matter anymore.

It was an ironic and bitter thought to realize Eiri was the one who finally saved me from my own lunacy. I wondered how the love of my life would feel about me if he knew the details in this story. And there were far more terrible things I had done than this.

I was still crying as I came back to the here and now, wrapped in the comfort of my sister’s arms. I cried, just as I had in the shower after I had essentially raped my best friend – when all hope seemed gone. So many people I loved, Eiri, Kyo and finally Hiro, all gone from my life.

Finally, after my choking sobs slowed, I sat back, rubbed the tears from my eyes and said, “And now he says he thinks he’s treated me poorly. Ironic, isn’t it? He’s such a complete idiot.”

“Why would he feel that way?”

“He told me that he felt Kyo and he had ignored me while I was in London. Because they were so wrapped up in each other. And then Suguru came along and things with them got even more intense.”

Maiko watched me closely, “Do you agree?”

“Nah, not really. I’m happy for Hiro and Kyo, but I guess I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me a little.” I shook my head and said, “For most of my life I’ve relied on only two people. You and Hiro… this last year, first it was the thing with Hiro and then you and Daisuke got together. I don’t know, I really felt as though I had lost everyone close to me.”

“Yuki-san’s right, you really are an idiot,” she glared at me. “You can’t lose me, Shu. Or Hiro, even after everything. Besides, who would keep Daisuke in line?”

I laughed. Daisuke was terrified of me. Somewhere along the way, Maiko had convinced him that if he ever hurt her, I was just enough of a psycho to kill him.

And who knows, maybe I would. I laughed again.

“Your laughter… it’s good, even if it is a tad maniacal,” she said smiling weakly at me. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard it.”

Maniacal? I was about to comment when my phone rang, it was Eiri’s ring. I answered it, “Yeah?”

“Where the fuck are you?” he snapped at me.

Oh good.

“Maiko’s.” I looked over at my sister and rolled my eyes. She giggled in response.

I heard the exhale of cigarette smoke, “Will you be coming back?”

“Of course I’ll be coming back,” I answered. “Why, do you need something from the store?”

“No. I wanted...”

“Cigarettes? Beer? Sex?”

“Shuichi!” Maiko hissed at me.

I winked at her and she sighed in exasperation at me.

“What time will you be home?” He asked as he tempered his voice to softness.

He was trying so hard. Why couldn’t I be nicer to him? Guilt assailed me, “Um, about an hour? Are you sure you don’t need anything from the store?”

“No. It’s raining again,” another exhale. “Do you want me to come get you?”

I smiled, he really was trying. Maybe Maiko was right – maybe I should cut him some slack. I answered quietly, “No, the walk is good for me. But thanks, Eiri. My sister will probably kick my ass when she hears I have turned you down. She won’t get to see your beautiful face.”

Beautiful face? Damn it! I went too far and let my guard down again. Maiko’s eyes were wide, Eiri was silent and I braced for some comment about what an idiot I was.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes?” he asked again.

“Um, okay. But only if you are sure it won’t disturb you.” Stop it! The voice inside me screamed; Don’t be vulnerable to him! I nervously picked up a stick of pocky.

“10 minutes. Don’t eat.” He hung up.

I dropped the stick of pocky and hung up. Maiko raised her eyebrow.

“I’m not supposed to eat,” I answered as I stood up with my sudden anxiety. Why was I so nervous? It was not as if he was picking me up for a date.

Her eyes lit up like roman candles and she squealed, “Oh my god, is he cooking for you? That is sooo sweet, Shuichi!”

“Yeah, whatever,” I responded with a shrug but somewhere inside me, deep beneath the layers of Shuichi-the-unfeeling-bastard I had put in place, I too, was squealing. Hmm. “His Royal Highness is coming to get me.”

“Will you stop pretending you don’t love it,” she said as she smacked me on the arm.

“I do love it, Maiko,” I answered. “I just don’t know how to show it anymore. And it kind of freaks me out when he’s nice to me. I get suspicious of his reasons.”

She sighed, “You are pathetic. It’s time for you to get over yourself and stop wallowing in self-pity. Move forward, okay?”

I kissed her on her cheek and said, “Okay, Maiko. I know.”

“Have you told Yuki-san you don’t know how to show your feelings now? You were always so demonstrative before, he may think you don’t love him anymore.”

“I’ve given him warnings about being nice to me, but I do wonder if he feels that I don’t love him. I mean, I tell him I love him, but it might get confusing because sometimes I am pretty mean to him. Not that he doesn’t deserve it. Besides, he’s still mean to me, too,” I struggled to explain the various reasons I was such an asshole at a random and rapid pace.

“Do you treat him meanly because you are afraid of letting him get close to you? Are you afraid of getting hurt?”

“Maybe…” I sighed and then confessed, “Actually, I’m terrified. I don’t think I could take it Maiko. Not again. I’m afraid I would turn into that thing again.”

“Just tell him, Shuichi. You’ll have to try and trust him at some point. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“Maybe.” Trust him? Was she crazy?

For several minutes we continued talking about my inability to communicate my fear to Eiri. It felt good to confide in her again. We had always been so close, it was comforting to let my guard down, even if it was only briefly.

Then we heard the door open and the call of “I’m home.”

Maiko smiled sweetly as she answered, “Welcome home!”

Turning to me she said, “You be nice.”

“Hey, it’s you who makes me out to be some sort of maniac,” I said with a smile.

“Oh, Shindou-sama,” my sister’s tall, handsome, idiot of a boyfriend stuttered as he bowed to me. “I wasn’t expecting this honor.”

I rolled my eyes at my sister before I said impatiently, “Jeez, Daisuke. How many times do I have to tell you; call me Shuichi.”

“Uh, okay. Shuichi-sama.”

I exhaled. “Daisuke, you are sleeping with my sister. That sort of makes you family. My name is Shuichi.”

“I’m sorry, Shindou-san,” he stammered.

Maiko gave me a look of warning. I shrugged.

There was a knock at the door. Daisuke looked at us and Maiko said, “It’s Yuki-san. He’s here to pick up Shuichi.”

“Yuki-sama?” Daisuke’s eyes widened more. My sister’s boyfriend may fear me, but like my sister, he worshipped Eiri. Daisuke considered himself to be something of a writer, so I could understand his infatuation with Eiri. At the moment he wrote stories for manga, but he had great hopes of being a ‘serious’ author at some point. Personally, I couldn’t see what would be better than writing manga.

We all walked to the door, Daisuke lurking in the back.

Maiko opened the door and greeted Eiri with a hug. “Hi, Yuki-san.”

Eiri surprised all of us as he hugged her back, “Nice to see you.”

My sister overcame her thrill quickly as she turned to her boyfriend, “You remember Miyamoto Daisuke?”

“Of course,” my lover said as he switched into his ‘dealing with fans’ mode.

“Yu… Yuki-sama,” Daisuke stuttered again as he bowed deeply. “It’s an honor to meet you again.”

Eiri and I exchanged looks and Maiko held her breath.

“Well, you must excuse us. We have somewhere to be,” he said smoothly. One thing positive about Eiri, he was unbelievably cool when dealing with fans.

“Of course! We wouldn’t dream of keeping you,” my sister’s boyfriend gushed shamelessly.

I kissed Maiko’s cheek again, “See you.”

She hugged me and whispered, “Tell him you love him, Shuichi. How can anyone get tired of hearing that?”

Eiri and I walked to the elevator in silence. We stepped in and stood side by side as Maiko and her boyfriend waved goodbye to us. As the elevator doors slid closed we spoke simultaneously.

“What a loser,” I said.

“What a moron,” Eiri said.

We turned to look at each other and I burst into laughter.

“I don’t think it’s funny,” he stated.

“Why not?” I asked through my laughter. “He’s an idiot.”

“Not your sister’s stupid boyfriend. The fact that you and I have formed a hive-mind.”

“Hive-mind? What are you talking about?”

“Like a bee hive. There are some scientists that feel bees have a collective thought process. You and I seem to be eerily in tune with each other’s thoughts. A hive-mind.”

I thought about what he was saying. It was true, we were in tune. I said, “That’s creepy.”

“I agree. And I seriously fear for what is left of my intellect. You must be sucking my brain dry,” he answered me as he turned his head back to watch the floor numbers as they lit up on the panel.

“So, what’s for dinner?” I asked coyly.

“Sukiyaki,” he answered, feigning boredom.

Maybe it was because Eiri was making my favorite meal, or maybe it was my talk with Maiko, or maybe it was being alone in an elevator with Eiri but I felt the swellings of emotion and I did not stop myself as I leapt on my lover. “I love you!”

He staggered into the wall completely taken by surprise but still managed to somehow keep his balance. “You are an idiot,” he answered softly but his arms tightened around me leaving me breathless and telling me he loved me in return.

The thought occurred to me, as I felt our bodies react to one another, that maybe Eiri and I liked our relationship to be complicated. Maybe we liked the drama and the fighting, maybe it kept things interesting for us. Or maybe, I thought again as I nipped at his sensitive ear pulling a moan from his throat, we liked the make-up part of arguing. Right now, I wanted nothing more in the world than for Eiri to take me in the elevator.

“Eiri,” I whispered, “when we get home can we fuck before we eat?”

He turned us and pressed my back against the wall, “Who says we are waiting until we get home?”

I nipped at him again as he tugged at the button on my jeans. Hive-mind, indeed.

Then the elevator stopped and chimed. Damn it.

Eiri turned his eyes to mine and gave me a predatory look before he said, “It’s a good thing the car you bought me has tinted windows.”

I shivered with desire as he let me slide to my feet just before the elevator doors opened.

“Come on,” he said as he pulled me by my hand past the couple waiting for the elevator.

He didn’t even pretend as he slid into the passenger seat of the Mercedes and pulled me in so that I sat on top of him. Fuck, he was hard. “Eiri,” I complained as I heard my shirt tear in his haste to get at my nipple ring. “Take it easy. I can’t even get my pants off like this.”

He lowered the seat so that he could lay back. His eyes were dark amber with lust as he opened my pants, “Sure you can. I know how flexible you are, come on, show me how easy it is for you.”

Hypnotized by his voice I start to wiggle out of my jeans. They were of the super snug variety, but I hadn’t yet put all my weight back on so they did slid off my hips with relative ease. Eiri didn’t seem to mind as I twisted and gyrated on his lap trying to peel off my clothes, in fact he made several appreciative noises as he watched me with rapt attention.

Once I was free, I turned to face my lover, my knees to either side of his hips, barely on the edge of the seat. I leaned over his beautiful face as we licked at each other with open mouths. His hands were everywhere, in my hair, on my ass, tugging at my nipple ring, every touch making me hotter and harder.

I was lost – oblivious to the world as I felt a lubricated finger slide into me. Where had the lube come from? And when? Eiri’s shirt was unbuttoned, did I do that? All sense burned away as I fell further into a fever dream of desire. I was completely focused on his smell and his taste and the feel of his fingers as they slid in and out of me.

Shifting, I reached down to Eiri’s pants, to free his erection so I could finally feel him inside me. I positioned myself over him and met his stare, his eyes were alight with the bonfire sparked to life. Lowering myself on him, I had to catch my breath and the wondrous sensation…

And then, there was a knock on the window.

“Fuck!” I shouted as I twisted and flailed, trying to cover myself as Eiri grabbed my hips and tried to prevent me from moving off of him.

I looked out the window. “Damn it, Maiko, you scared me!” I yelled at her.

“Put your pants back on,” she said through the window as she laughed at my embarrassment. She showed me my phone and finally had the decency to turn her back on me.

“Damn phone,” I muttered as I struggled to get loose. Eiri still gripped my hips, trapped beneath me. “Eiri…”

His mood hadn’t been interrupted the way mine had and I could tell he was still quietly considering his options.

“Eiri,” I hissed with a tone of warning, “you are not fucking me in front of my sister.”

He let me loose and I quickly made myself decent.

Eiri watched me with a predator’s interest as he lazily zipped himself up.

Opening the door I stepped out of the car and snatched my phone from Maiko’s hand and growled something about nosy kid-sisters.

“You didn’t tell me you got your belly button pierced. And you know, I’d appreciate it if you two didn’t do this at my home,” she said as she smirked at me but her eyes raked over my boyfriend’s exposed chest.

“Noted,” Eiri said as he stood and walked around the car to the driver’s door.

Maiko’s eyes followed his ass shamelessly. She sighed and said, “Such a waste. It’s kind of creepy to find my brother’s boyfriend so attractive.”

“I agree,” I snapped as I slid back into the car as it roared to life. “I also think it’s creepy to know my sister’s boyfriend is a total moron.”

“What?” She shouted at me as Eiri threw the car in reverse and we raced out of the parking lot.

After a few minutes in the car I complained, “Well, that was frustrating.”

“Huh,” Eiri said, indicating he was frustrated too.

Lucky for us, the elevator in our building remained blissfully unoccupied. Of course, Eiri had also figured out how to disable it, but we liked the illusion anyway. What can I say? There was something about elevators that turned us on.

Two days later as I stepped out of the car at Mizuki’s house I asked, “Eiri, is Mizuki married?”

“I dunno,” he answered.

“What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?” I said with surprise and I clutched the gift we brought.

“I never asked.”

“But, she’s been your editor for years, Eiri. How do you not know if she’s married?”

“It’s none of my business. Not to mention, my social half has been missing for a while,” he said quietly.

His social half? Was he referring to me? Huh. Sometimes he was capable of saying the sweetest things.

Mizuki opened the door and smiled warmly at us before saying, “Ah Shindou-san, Yuki-san, thank you for coming.”

“Thanks for inviting us,” I said as I took off my shoes.

Eiri, as usual, took off his shoes in silence. He was probably already wanting a cigarette and realizing he was in a house with an infant and would be denied his vice.

I stood up and handed Mizuki our gift. “Here. For the baby.”

“Thank you,” she smiled again. “Come in.”

The table was set and it was stunning. Very elaborate with flowers and fine, hand-crafted dishes.

“The table is beautiful, Mizuki-san.” I said with a smile.

She set the gift down and picked up her child as she laughed, “Well, I’d like to take the credit for it, but I can’t.” Nodding towards the door way, Mizuki continued, “But Michi-san, decorated the table. And made dinner as well.”

A lovely young woman wearing a kimono appeared from the other room and bowed to deeply to us. Mizuki made the introductions. The woman’s name was Koga Michi.

“If you will please excuse me, Yuki-san, Shindou-san,” Koga said softly. “I must finish preparing dinner.”

“Of course,” Eiri said smoothly.

Mizuki shifted the baby in her arms in order to hand Eiri a beer she had retrieved from behind a small bar. She knew Eiri so well, and yet it seemed we knew nothing about her.

I fidgeted. “Mizuki-san, is Koga-san a relation to you?”

Eiri ‘accidentally’ kicked me.

“Oww,” I said as I rubbed my shin.

Mizuki laughed again. Gods, she was so happy. “It’s okay, Yuki-san. Shindou-san is only curious.” She turned her head towards me, “Michi-san and I are old friends and she’s helping me out for a while.”

“Ohhhh,” I said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean… to, I wasn’t trying to…”

“Idiot,” Eiri smirked at me.

“Kanna-san? Can you give me a hand?” a soft voice called from the kitchen.

“Here,” Mizuki said as she handed me little Madoka-chan.

“No, wait,” I said quickly as she disappeared into the kitchen. I looked at Eiri in fear as I tried to hold the squirming infant.

After a moment or two Eiri took pity on me and took the child from me saying, “Knowing you, you’ll drop her.”

“Like you know anymore than I do,” I snarled at him.

“Aren’t you forgetting? I’m an uncle three times now from Mika and Tohma’s spawn.”

“Yeah, but you are never around them,” I said. “Ugh. That’s three little Seguchi’s to terrorize the world. They are done having kids now, aren’t they?”

“Yes. I hope so. I’m not sure why Mika had three to begin with. Must have forgotten something one night,” Eiri said snidely.

“Don’t make me think about Tohma having sex, Eiri. It kind of makes me sick to my stomach,” I shuddered as I spoke trying to block out the image of Tohma having an orgasm, the hackles rose on the back of my neck.

“I think they do it by test-tube,” Eiri answered.

“What?” I sputtered.

“That’s the only way I can think about them conceiving,” he said with a shrug.

I started to laugh.

“What?” he asked as he turned those amber eyes to mine with a patient tolerance.

“Do you ever think about having kids, Eiri?”

“Are you fucking crazy?” He snapped at me. “I have mental problems, remember? Who would raise it? You? You have mental problems, too. We aren’t capable of raising a kid, we’d fuck it up. And that’s just what the world needs, another messed up kid. Besides, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’ll clue you in; you can’t have babies. You’re male.”

And my laughter turned into pure joy as I watched my lover hold a baby with a horrified curiosity as he made biting, sarcastic jokes about us being bad parents.

There was no doubt, I loved this man with all of my heart and soul.

Come what may.

TBC

Lyrics for Stand Inside Your Love by Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins)