Shinigami Kisses

A/N: I don’t own Yami no Matsuei

#26

Insecure


Tsuzuki had too much to drink as usual and Hisoka was losing his patience. Why couldn’t they attend any type of function without the man eating and drinking everything in sight? Hisoka was more than annoyed at Tsuzuki’s antics, he was actually getting angry. Although he was frequently displeased with his partner, it wasn’t often that he genuinely got angry. Tsuzuki was pushing his luck.

Hisoka wanted to leave him there to embarrass himself alone, but the looks Chief Konoe were giving him were enough to get him to stay and try to persuade Tsuzuki to go home. Where the hell was Tatsumi? This was all his fault, if one needed to assign blame. Since they’d returned from Okinawa Tsuzuki had been distracted. Despite the fact that Tsuzuki liked to babble on about every minute detail in his life, he’d been extremely vague about how his rendezvous with Tatsumi had gone, and frankly for the rest of the vacation seemed to withdraw and watch Tatsumi carefully. He didn’t think the two had been alone since.

Catching Tsuzuki’s arm as he passed, Hisoka used his momentum to steer him towards the door. “Wait Hisoka! I’m not ready to leave yet!”

“You’ve been ready since you walked in.” Hisoka muttered angrily, pulling the larger man behind him with an iron grip of determination. He managed to drag the struggling man outside before he lost the battle and Tsuzuki pulled free. Hisoka immediately positioned himself in front of the door, but instead of trying to reenter, Tsuzuki sat down on a small stone bench positioned along the walkway and closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry Hisoka.” Tsuzuki whispered, opening his eyes and looking at his partner. “I didn’t mean to cause you trouble.”

Hisoka sat down next to Tsuzuki, not looking at him. Instead he stared at the ever-blossoming cherry trees and tried to think of the right thing to say. “What’s your problem?” As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he should have never opened his mouth. “I – what I mean is… what’s bothering you Tsuzuki?”

Tsuzuki forced a smile and looked at his hands. “Nothing. I’m fine, really.”

“You know you’re not fine.” Hisoka said, trying to keep his tone gentle, but losing to exasperation. “Has he talked to you since we got back?”

“No.” Tsuzuki answered miserably, not bothering to pretend he didn’t know who they were talking about. “I must’ve done something wrong.” Hisoka turned to see the tears shimmering in his eyes. “I always do something wrong.”

“Stop it. You didn’t do anything wrong. The man is just difficult… more difficult than you, and that’s saying something.” Hisoka stood and offered a hand. “Forget about him Tsuzuki, he’s not worth your tears. Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“I’ll take him home.” The deep voice took them by surprise.

Hisoka spun around to see Tatsumi standing a few feet behind him, melding with the shadows. Despite his annoyance with his partner, and his desire to get rid of the drunken idiot, he suddenly felt protective and didn’t want to hand him over. “It’s okay, I’ll do it.”

Tatsumi stepped forward, but instead of stepping out of the shadows into the light, the shadows clung to him protectively. “He’s safe with me Hisoka, I’ll take him.” Without waiting for a response, he moved to stand in front of Tsuzuki, the shadows pushing Hisoka gently aside. He said nothing, just offered a hand and waited for it to be taken.

Tsuzuki smiled weakly at Hisoka while slipping his hand into Tatsumi’s. “See you tomorrow?”

“Whatever.” Hisoka glared at Tatsumi before stalking back inside, leaving the two alone.

Tatsumi gave the hand in his a gentle squeeze, lifting Tsuzuki’s chin and forcing him to look up. His heart ached to see unshed tears in Tsuzuki’s eyes. “What have you done to yourself now?” He pulled the inebriated man to his feet, and into his arms. He could feel Tsuzuki stiffen and he sighed, resting his cheek on Tsuzuki’s head. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, letting the shadows envelop them.

When the shadows retreated Tatsumi didn’t want to let Tsuzuki go. The man had finally relaxed into the embrace, and now that they were in the privacy of Tatsumi’s home, there was no reason to hide. It was true he had been avoiding Tsuzuki, but it was always under the guise of work, he wasn’t trying to purposefully wound him. Sure he could’ve made more of an effort, but he wasn’t quite sure what was expected of him, so it was easier to do nothing. Now that Tsuzuki had his cheek pressed against Tatsumi’s chest, his arms secured around his waist, and Tatsumi realized he liked the feel of him there.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered again, running his fingers along Tsuzuki’s spine. “I wasn’t rejecting you.”

Tsuzuki looked up, his cheeks wet with silent tears. “Did I do something-”?

“Shhh…” Tatsumi ran his thumb over Tsuzuki’s cheek, smoothing away the moisture. He wasn’t one to talk about his feelings; he could never manage to convey what he meant. He knew he’d put Tsuzuki through a lot in the years that they have known each other, and he had failed him many times over. Despite this, Tsuzuki hadn’t given up on him, and was right now standing before him. Tatsumi didn’t know what he could say to make things right between them. Instead he slowly kissed Tsuzuki’s tears away, taking his time, feeling Tsuzuki relax further with each kiss until he finally reached his slightly parted lips.

Tatsumi didn’t think Tsuzuki realized where he was until he was guided into the bedroom and pushed gently onto the bed. Tatsumi watched surprise flit across his face for a moment before it was replaced by something akin to awe as Tatsumi started to undress. With every article of clothed removed, Tatsumi became less the stern secretary, and more the beautiful man that had first captured Tsuzuki’s heart. He wasn’t self conscious of his body, instead taking his time enjoying the appraising looks he was getting as he slipped out of the rest of his clothes, setting his glasses on the bureau behind him. He eyed the man on the bed hungrily, his cock hard and wanting. He could see the outline of Tsuzuki’s erection beneath his clothes, crawling onto the bed and running his fingers lightly over it causing Tsuzuki to push his hips upwards with a whimper.

They didn’t speak, but their actions said more than they could ever articulate. Tatsumi took his time undressing Tsuzuki, tasting every crevasse and committing every inch to memory. When Tsuzuki would get impatient, tugging at his hair and trying to wriggle out from under him, Tatsumi would pin him effectively and patiently wait for him to submit. He knew that Tsuzuki would willingly do anything asked of him, but Tatsumi didn’t want to ask, he wanted Tsuzuki to give it all to him without a single word.

Tsuzuki was literally writhing underneath him, slicked with sweat, every nerve in his body alive with Tatsumi’s touch. When Tatsumi finally joined their bodies, it was almost too much for both of them. Sex had been rendered to soft moans and gasps of pleasure; both of them mindless to anything save the sensations shared between them. Their orgasms left them completely spent, too exhausted to untangle themselves. They both fell into an exhausted slumber as the sweat dried off their skin and the pounding of their hearts slowed to an almost unified beat.

Tsuzuki woke just before dawn, sitting up to reach for the blanket pushed to the foot of the bed. It had gotten colder in the night, and gooseflesh covered his bare skin. Just as he snagged the blanket, warm arms wrapped around him from behind, pulling him down and spooning warmth around him. He looked over his shoulders to see Tatsumi, his eyes bleary with sleep, pulling the blanket over both of them before kissing the back of his neck.

“I thought you were trying to leave.”

“No … I was just trying to get warm.”

“I’ll warm you … I’ll always warm you.”