The Whisper at My Side

Author: JadeHeart
Fandom: Gravitation
Warnings: none really
Author's Notes: Well, I hadn’t intended carrying on this storyline, but the little muse obviously had other ideas. I hope this chapter doesn’t destroy your make-up the way the first did, Mizuki! Thanks for the review.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of ‘Gravitation’.


The Whisper at My Side: Chapter 2


He heard the soft voice then, nothing more than a whisper, words barely made out as though they were coming from a long, long distance.

“It’s time….”

He looked around, uncertain of the meaning. “Time?” he queried. “What do you mean?”

“Time to go….” came the reply.

He felt his heart clench and his hands automatically reached out even though there was nothing for him to touch, reaching, searching, desperately grasping. “No!” he said forcefully. “You can’t!”

“It’s time….” The whisper came to him again, sounding even further away if that was even possible.

“NO!” he all but screamed, falling to his knees. “Don’t leave me! You can’t leave me!”

“You’ll be all right…”

He slammed his hands to the floor, head hanging down, eyes screwed shut as tears rained on the wooden boards below. “How can you say that!” he cried. “I won’t be! I won’t! You can’t leave me here on my own!”

He felt his hair move as though a ghostly hand was stroking his head soothingly. He lifted his tear-streaked face and the soft touch transferred to his wet cheek just briefly before it was gone.

“Wait for me….” The almost subliminal voice said. “Promise me….”

“What do you mean?” he said, looking around him almost frantically. “How can I wait for you? I need to go to you!”

“No…..” The voice was suddenly stronger, louder, as though it may have been shouted even though from a great distance. “Wait for me….”

“I don’t understand!” Yuki almost wailed, hands clenched into fists resting on his thighs, tears still dripping down his face. “I don’t understand what you mean!”

“Promise me…….” The ghostly voice was faint again. “Promise you will wait….”

*************

Yuki was confused, his mind running in circles at this unexpected turn. Shuichi had never spoken this much before. It had taken a long time before he had spoken at all, and when he did it had generally been only one word, anymore had seemed to be too much of an effort on the spirit. This verbosity he was exhibiting now was unusual – and because of that completely unnerving.

On top of that, what he was saying now was terrifying Yuki. What did he mean he was going?! He didn’t understand at all. These past two years had been both the best and the worst in his life. The worst because he had lost his love in a stupid, freakish accident, seeing his whole life ripped away from him in a blinding moment on TV. He hadn’t even been there at the time. It had all been completely surreal and distancing as though it was happening to someone else or nothing more than a movie that he was watching, something completely make-believe.

Until the body of his lover was returned to him in a box.

The time that followed after; the funeral preparations, the media attention, the sympathies of friends and strangers, the emptiness that filled his every moment both waking and sleeping, that had gone on for months and he had spent that time in nothing more than a haze, filled with alcohol and medication and just plain shock. Most of it was mercifully blurred, dulled by his instantaneous withdrawal from reality, his desire to just not be there.

He had tried to leave this world a couple of times – half-heartedly admittedly, more because he really wasn’t in any fit state to be thinking coherently and so be able to pull it off successfully. If he had been just a little more ‘with it’ at the time he would have succeeded but his own incompetence prevented that and each time he was saved.

His family and friends had kept a very close eye on him right from the start, even though most of the time he hadn’t been aware of it. Later on he came to know that Tohma had even stayed in the apartment with him for weeks just after the incident but he honestly couldn’t even recall that. He must have been living through that time like nothing more than an automaton, a cybernetic organism with no thinking mind of its own.

What had pulled him from that living hell had been something so sudden and unexpected that it had been completely unbelievable. He hadn’t recognized it at first, he hadn’t noticed the slight changes happening around him, or if he did, he wasn’t able to comprehend them. It was actually little comments that Tohma mostly made, comments about things being moved slightly in rooms where Yuki hadn’t been, the general feeling in the apartment getting brighter as though the dark heaviness of despair that had clouded the premises were slowly being pushed away.

He hadn’t taken notice of any of that at first, but soon it was enough to penetrate even his wall of indifference and grief. Then he, of course, recognized it immediately. The ‘feeling’ that Tohma had mentioned - the brightness - that he knew only too well. It was the exact same thing that had happened all those years ago when an annoying, idiotic, hyperactive brat suddenly turned up on his doorstep, moved in, and entrenched himself permanently in Yuki’s life. There was no mistaking it – it was Shuichi.

He had thought he was crazy then. His grief, sorrow and loss had truly made him mad, he was quite sure of it. What other explanation was there? He didn’t believe in the unexplainable despite having a monk for a father and an annoying younger brother as the same. Yuki had thrown all of that aside many, many years ago. Even though he still followed his faith it had always been more of a case of going through the motions. He knew that he was beyond saving, not after what he had done, so what was the point of ‘believing’?

So he was certain that he had finally cracked. He supposed it was a fitting end in a way. The famous Eiri Yuki, novelist, ending his days in a nuthouse. What more degrading, humiliating and shameful end could there be?

But then there were other things. It wasn’t just the change in the atmosphere as though Shuichi was back, it was followed by other changes; the little things that Tohma had noticed first. Now he would find his cigarette packet moved slightly, or his lighter pushed closer to it so they were side by side instead of at opposite ends of the table, hot water would be boiling waiting for him to make coffee, he would see doors pushed open, the creaking of the floor as silent steps followed him.

He had still thought he was crazy, really crazy, but then he began to wonder. If Tohma was noticing these things also did that make Tohma crazy too? Well, he knew there were plenty of people who would immediately agree with that assessment – though they would never dare even think such a thing around Tohma Seguich himself! Tohma was crazy, in a very different way – a cold, ruthless, business-driven way and you did not get in the way of that! So putting semantics aside, no, Tohma probably wasn’t crazy, so if he was commented on things being moved and shifted then that meant that they were actually happening. And since Yuki was noticing the same things, then the only conclusion he could come to was that he too wasn’t crazy after all. That thought in itself made him think he had to be crazy!

What was he thinking? That there was a ghost? That Shuichi had come back to him? That sort of thing didn’t happen as far as he believed now. That was stupid, completely idiotic - and therefore probably exactly the sort of thing that that moron would do!

He had spent weeks trying to figure this out. Was he crazy, was he not? What was crazy? He was going to send himself mad just trying to think about it. He finally couldn’t take it any longer – the uncertainty, the not-knowing, the trying to ignore what was occurring around him, so he tried talking to whatever was out there, if there was anything.

He didn’t get any response, at least not verbally, and he had shrugged his shoulders angrily, feeing embarrassed and stupid, and just as grief-stricken for thinking for even a moment that even some small part of his lover was still with him. He was the moron. Why couldn’t he just accept he had been left behind?

And that was the thought that had torn him apart – that he had been left behind, that Shuichi had moved on without him and hadn’t taken him along. That Shuichi didn’t need him with him. That thought had almost broken him all over again.

It was then that he had felt the first touch. It was nothing more than a slight pressure, the briefest of touches, a fleeting contact which was then gone so quickly he was sure he had imagined it. Then it had returned, slightly firmer. He had sat frozen on the couch, not daring to move, even holding his breath as the unseen hand cupped the side of his face.

He closed his eyes then, leaning his head back, feeling a shiver run up and down his spine. Was he imagining this, he wondered desperately, was he truly mad? The touch shifted and with his eyes closed Yuki could feel the sensation of a slender finger trailing down the bridge of his nose to its tip. It left at that point, only to return a moment later to his other cheek, gentle fingertips slowly drawing over his skin that felt so hot as though he was fevered.

He kept his eyes closed, desperately holding himself back from leaning into that, oh, so familiar touch. The hand traced every contour of his face; his eyebrows, his forehead, his long fringe being gently shifted out of the way, his cheekbones, his nose, the hollows under his eyes, over his eyelids. They drew softly along his jawbone to the tip of his chin and then lastly to his lips, gently tracing their outline so lightly that it was ticklish. He couldn’t help speaking then, it was all just too familiar.

“That tickles,” he said, flicking his tongue out to lick his lips and ease the irritation.

The touch had ceased immediately and he held his breath. This was the test now as to whether he was really insane. He still kept his eyes close as he spoke again. “But it’s still nice.”

He waited then, remaining perfectly still, not changing his pose in anyway. Nothing. Then, just when he was beginning to truly despair, the soft touch returned and touched his newly moistened lips, sliding over them more smoothly and in a sensual touch that went straight to Yuki’s groin, and straight to his heart.

He wept then, slow tears dribbling from the corners of his eyes to slide into his hairline. That gentle touch wasn’t just his imagination, it wasn’t. Shuichi was here, it was him he was completely certain. He knew that touch and there was no-one and nothing that could duplicate that. He had come back to him! He continued to silently weep.

He had felt that gentle touch capture a tear as it fell followed by the feel of a soft kiss that was placed on his temple. He moved then, unable to remain still any longer. He had turned and curled up in a ball on the couch and cried his eyes out, and all the time he felt two thin arms wrapped around him comforting.

Tohma and Mika had insisted almost from the start that he go to a therapist once he seemed to be back in the land of the living, although he still had moved in a daze at that time. When all this had happened he had tried speaking to her about his belief that Shuichi was back with him. For all that she was a Buddhist also she was more entrenched in the Western view of the lack of spirits and had looked at him in something akin to horror before prescribing some stronger drugs to stop the hallucinations and delusions. He hadn’t tried to speak about it again, especially as she had sicced Tohma onto his case, having called him to say that Yuki was suffering from extreme denial and this would lead to a complete downward spiral of his well-being.

He learnt later that she had omitted to tell Tohma that this was based on Yuki’s belief that Shuichi had returned to him. Tohma had said after that if he had known about that he might have approached things differently. Although Tohma was an extremely pragmatic man and lived well and truly in the here and now, he was not completely cut off from the spiritual world and would have at least entertained the possibility if he had had the facts given to him. He had scolded Yuki quite firmly for not having broached the subject with him earlier so they could have avoided a lot of unpleasantness for everyone.

Yuki had grumbled over that but he had to admit that Tohma was probably right – as usual. He always seemed to underestimate his brother-in-law for some reason, even when he had seen over and over again just what he could do. It was a failing on his part – and he had to laugh a little as Shuichi had always seemed to be more in tune with Tohma than he had been. Perhaps it had something to do with their love of music and working in the same industry? Who knows, it was just the way it was.

Anyway, he hadn’t told Tohma and, after the way the psych had reacted to his revelation, he hadn’t told anyone else during that first year.

It was a strange living arrangement that he and Shuichi then had. Shuichi wasn’t there all the time, he was soon able to tell that, there was a ‘lack’ of his presence at times. Where he went, Yuki had no idea. Where do wandering spirits go when they’re not bugging the person they’ve come back to see? Is there a spirit club that they all gather at to have a drink and chat during some downtime? That image was enough to make him raise eyebrows and snort.

Or did Shuichi go off to some spirit studio to continue his music career? Did someone have to write the music for a heavenly choir? Again a disturbing image arose of the western version of angels all decked out in wings, white smocks and glowing halos lined up on fluffy clouds, but instead of harps there were guitars, drums, and keyboards. And front and centre was an angelic Shuichi, gown hiked up provocatively high showing one gleaming thigh and almost completely see-through, belting out the chorus of Rage Beat. This time Yuki shook his head almost violently – scary, scary, scary! If he hadn’t been mad before then images like that would be enough to send him right over the edge!

So he didn’t know where Shuichi went to when he wasn’t there. Most of the time he was present but not all the time, and fortunately he was never away long which eased Yuki’s mind. At the beginning he had been so completely paranoid that whenever he no longer felt Shuichi’s presence that he feared he wouldn’t be coming back, that that would be the last time he would see, or in this case, feel him. It had taken him a long time to accept that Shuichi would come back and to just patiently wait for his return. Shuichi had seemed to sense his anxiety over his absences and had seemed to try and limit them in the early days, and certainly always make certain he was there whenever Yuki returned home after being out.

He had never seen Shuichi. The youth didn’t appear as any kind of hazy apparition or such, nor had he heard him speak – it was just his presence. The lack of speech was probably a god-send in a way Yuki couldn’t help thinking at times, remembering the annoying whine that his partner would often use, usually when he really wanted something, as a way to make Yuki give in. And most times it had worked too. Now Yuki thought about it, he realized that Shuichi had often ‘played’ him during their time together. He had known exactly what buttons to push to get a response, and most of the times it was a response he wanted.

Yuki smiled at that thought. It might have taken them a while to get to that stage of knowing each other so well but they had made it. Not too many couples could say that.

They had fallen into a kind of routine then. They did the same things they used to, Shuichi was just as annoying at times as he always had been; the only difference was that Yuki didn’t have to listen to that irritating voice with its demands, but Shuichi had the advantage in that Yuki couldn’t see where he was. So he guessed that it balanced out for both of them.

It had been a big adjustment still at the beginning. Just because he suddenly realised that Shuichi was back in his life, albeit only in a ghostly way, it wasn’t like it was smooth sailing. It took some alterations for him to get used to that absence of ‘body’. He would sense Shuichi but it was completely unnerving to not be able to ‘see’ him. He still expected to at the beginning, and it had taken him a long time to be able to train his own mind to accept that the ‘physical’ wasn’t there. Until he could do that, every time he turned and saw nothing he felt a stab through his heart all over again, that agonizing ache of loss. Once he was finally able to accept the physical was no longer present that feeling had eased and it no longer bothered him.

It was also sort of funny in a way - Shuichi was just as annoying as a spirit as he had been in real life sometimes. All the little things that had bugged Yuki when he had been alive, he learnt still bugged him now the brat was dead! He didn’t take him long to get over feeling stupid for yelling at thin air!

But for all that they had settled into a comfortable pattern, just the two of them going about their day, acting in many ways as though nothing had happened at all. If he was insane then Yuki had no intention of being cured. This suited him just fine.

He even had a sex life, as bizarre as that seemed. It wasn’t as satisfying as it had been when Shuichi had been flesh and blood, nothing could replace that warm soft body moulding to his, the heat and sweat, the sound of moans and grunts, or the cry of pleasure. No, nothing could replace that, but Shuichi’s touch was just as exciting to him, and his body automatically responded.

The first time had been unexpected. Shuichi had never entered the bedroom, Yuki had never felt him in there so one hot night as he had lay there on the bed, naked and spread-eagled trying to get to sleep, he had been surprised to hear the door pushed open wider and Shuichi’s definitive presence enter. He automatically turned his head although he knew he would see nothing, but even though his eyes could discern no person, his other senses knew that the youth had drawn closer.

He started a little as that ghostly touch settled on his chest, slowly moving down his sternum to his abdomen and then back up, a soft and slow stroking motion. It moved wider to run down his sides, over his ribs, down lower to touch his hip bones and then back up again. A quiver shook him. It had been a long time since anyone had touched him like this, such a long time.

The touch continued, this time in the upwards motion rubbing over his already erect nipples making him gasp in response, before biting his lip to keep his voice inside. The quiver through his body was getting stronger, his breathing more ragged - the touch continued.

He couldn’t prevent his eyes drifting shut as his nipples were gently teased, coaxed into full hardness, sending bursts of fire into another portion of his body with every touch. He could feel his erection resting on his stomach twitching in response, aching, beginning to drip. His body was screaming out for release, desiring fulfillment, demanding its due.

The ghostly hands roamed all over his body; his torso, his arms, tickling the soft skin on the underside of each; down his long, firm legs, kneading the soft inside of his thighs, climbing over his hips and pressing down on his stomach, all over except for the point that he most wanted them to touch.

He moaned, unable to restrain it, and moaned again as he writhed on the bed. There was nothing for him to grab, nothing for him to hold onto. If there had been he would have thrown that smaller form down on the bed and ravaged him fully and thoroughly until he was sated - but he couldn’t do that. All he could do was moan and crave and he knew soon that he would be begging because he desired this so badly, he needed this so badly.

Shuichi seemed to take pity on him then and saved him from that embarrassment as those unseen hands finally wrapped around his weeping erection, enclosing it in a firm grip and began to stroke him. He threw his head back and arched into that touch, his body automatically responding with a wild abandon he had probably never shown previously, and be damned as to how shameless he must seem. He didn’t care how wanton or slutty he looked, he just wanted that touch.

He wasn’t trying to hold his voice in any longer; he moaned, he groaned, he cried, he begged, he pleaded, he cursed, he demanded, he urged. Urged his ghostly lover on, urged him to take him higher and Shuichi seemed only too eager to abide. Yuki let Shuichi take him wherever he wished to. He left him to dictate the pace even when it drove him almost mad with desire. He let Shuichi completely control the act and he allowed himself to experience it wholly with every part of his being.

As the motion increased, as the heat and friction grew (and how could insubstantial hands provide friction, he wondered absently in the back of his mind before the thought was blown away with a wave of intense pleasure), he felt that familiar tingling beginning deep in his belly. It grew, climbing, building, growing, feeding on the flames of desire that were flooding through his entire body. When he came, he screamed out a name; not caring about the neighbours, not caring who heard or what they thought, it was a name called out for one person and one person alone – Shuichi.

And with the cry came that tightening and drawing from his very toes, through every portion of his body all culminating in one place as he came in fountaining spurts across his stomach and chest, with spatters reaching to his chin.

As the last shuddering jerk left him, he collapsed, folding within himself, every muscle lax and limp, yet still shaking from the intensity and exertion. He could feel sweat prickling in his eyes and his hair sticking to his forehead. He felt the hair lift a little and what could only have been a light kiss touch his brow.

He was too tired to move, too tired to get up and clean himself off or even open his eyes. He rolled onto his side wishing that a small body was by him to wrap his arms around when he sensed a pressure against his back and warmth encompassing him. He sighed, pushing back just a little, feeling a smile tug at his lips, even though it had a tinge of sadness.

“Goodnight,” he had whispered into the darkness and felt lips brush against his shoulder as he fell into sleep.

So they had actually continued on with an almost ‘normal’ relationship; they still argued, they still had sex, they still irritated each other (more than once Shuichi would slam a door to voice his displeasure), they just kept on with life just as they always had done.

It was almost fourteen months after the accident that Yuki’s life took on another twist. He had unexpectedly been descended upon by his family, Tohma, Mika and Tatsuha, an event that hadn’t occurred very often, at least not all of them together, not since the very beginning after the dreadful news. He hadn’t been particularly pleased this time at the intrusion either but as Tohma insisted on doing all the cooking and he had had to do nothing but sit back and watch, he decided he wasn’t going to complain, at least not too loudly. Despite everything else that Tohma was, he was a damn good cook and Yuki wasn’t going to pass up a free meal that far exceeded any take-away that he could have ordered.

It hadn’t taken long for the meal to be ready, by which time Mika had elegantly set the table, being able to arrange Yuki’s meager belongings into something that appeared to be quite elegant. She had a real flare for that sort of thing and even Yuki was impressed at what she had done – not that he was going to tell her that.

He had remained quiet most of the time, just listening to Mika and Tatsuha bicker at each other as Mika tried to boss her younger brother around and he obstinately refused to obey, purely out of habit. Yuki was fully aware that it was really just a game between the two of them, a pattern that they fell comfortably into which would never result in hard feelings or real animosity. It was something that he and Mika had begun to build as well once he had met Shuichi and learnt to come to terms with aspects of his past. His relationship with Tatsuha had always been pretty easy going, although he still considered his younger brother an idiot half the time and a pervert the rest of it. Some things don’t change.

It was half way through the meal when Yuki had sensed that Shuichi was present, a fact that surprised him as generally he was absent when other people were around. It was then that he noticed that Tatsuha was frozen in the same pose as he, chopsticks halfway to the mouth. Their eyes met and he saw Tatsuha’s narrow and then widen before he slowly lowered his eating utensils, never breaking eye contact with his older brother.

“There’s a spirit here,” he said clearly, no trace of his usual frivolity in his voice.

Mika and Tohma also paused in their eating, glancing towards him and then to Yuki who sat just as still.

“Tats?” Mika questioned, looking at her two brothers with concern.

Tatsuha slowly stood, still looking down at Yuki. “I can feel a presence.”

Damn it! Yuki screamed in his mind although he kept his face impassive. Get out of here, Shuichi! Why the hell did you come back? You know what Tatsuha is! There as no answer of course, but he could still feel Shuichi nearby.

Tatsuha looked around the room now, eyes narrowed as though he were able to peer through this reality to the realm beyond.

Mika glanced behind her a little nervously. “What is it?” she half whispered.

“It’s nothing!” Yuki snarled finding his voice and glaring at his three guests. “Forget it.”

Tatsuha left the table and began to circle the room. Yuki watched him carefully. Get out, Shuichi, he kept screaming, not understanding why his lover was remaining here with such danger. Tatsuha was quite capable of performing an exorcism and he didn’t want Shuichi banished from his life.

“There is definitely another’s presence here,” Tatsuha looked over towards the still seated occupants, “and it’s very strong.”

“Why would that be?” Tohma’s quiet voice asked, expressing nothing more than mild curiousity.

Tatsuha paused, closing his eyes and holding his hands out before him as though trying to touch something. “It generally means that the spirit had a strong connection to this place or the people here. Or there is something very important for them to be doing. Or,” and he paused, opening his eyes and letting his arms fall. “Or I know them very well.”

He turned then to face Yuki, understanding dawning in his eyes as well as a little disbelief. “It’s Shuichi!” His whisper was louder than any shout.

Complete silence settled in the room. Yuki ground his teeth, not knowing if he wanted to throw himself at his brother and strangle him on the spot to prevent him from causing any harm to Shuichi, or cheer that someone else actually knew the truth. And deep in the back of his mind was a little surge of relief at this affirmation that in all this time he truly wasn’t crazy.

Mika’s gasp broke the silence, along with a clatter as she knocked a glass over. Tohma’s chair scraped as he stood to come to her side immediately. Yuki flicked a glance quickly towards her to see her face dead white, staring at Tatsuha in shock at his announcement. Her bottom lip quivered, whether in fear or some other emotion he didn’t know. Tohma on the other hand seemed completely unsurprised as though he had half suspected it and this was merely confirming that thought. Yuki snorted quietly as he turned back to Tatsuha. He wasn’t surprised that it came as no startling revelation to Tohma. Nothing ever seemed to.

Tatsuha was still looking at him, his eyes questioning, asking for his answer. Yuki finally gave a deep sigh and stood, moving directly to find his cigarettes and lighting one, drawing on it deeply. Well, he thought, what should I do? He felt a light brush on his unoccupied hand as though a smaller one was sliding into its grip. Okay, he thought back to his ghostly partner, if you think so. I hope you know what you’re doing though.

He exhaled, clearing his lungs so he could talk properly. “You’re right,” he said calmly. “It’s Shuichi.”

“But how?” Mika exclaimed. She was still quite pale but beginning to gain a little more control. He walked over and held out the cigarettes which she immediately took one, even though they were stronger than her usual brand. Tohma solicitously lit it for her. Yuki was pleased to see that her hands weren’t shaking. It would take more than talk of spirits to completely scare his sister, she was too strong for that. That strength was always something Yuki had admired in her – even if it also sometimes pissed him off.

He shrugged as he made his way over to Tatsuha, offering the cigarettes once more. Again it was accepted without a word. Tohma didn’t smoke so he didn’t even bother making the offer there.

“About six months after,” he said.

There was silence for a while as they all digested this information, only the sound of inhale and exhale breaking the stillness.

“Ah, so that is what your therapist was speaking about.” Tohma finally said.

Yuki grimaced. “Yeah. She thought I was nuts.”

“I would have thought you were nuts.” Tatsuha said.

Yuki scowled at him. “You’re supposed to believe in this sort of stuff.” he said.

Tatsuha shrugged and headed back to his chair. “Sure I do, but I’ve never felt him around before.”

Yuki, too, returned to his seat. “Usually he makes himself scarce when other people are here.”

“So why is he here tonight?”

Yuki shrugged with no little annoyance. “No idea,” he huffed. “The brat’s still always causing trouble!”

Mika couldn’t stop the short laugh. “You sound just like you always do, complaining about him.”

Yuki glared at her. “Because not a lot has really changed since he came back,” he snapped. “Just becoming dead hasn’t made him a saint, believe me!”

Tohma smiled as Tatsuha just laughed. “I can’t believe this,” he said, looking around the room. “This really is crazy.” He looked over at Tohma. “Did you put some sort of ‘magic mushrooms’ in that meal or something?”

Tohma held up his hands with a smile, indicating his innocence. “You can’t blame me for this one.” he said. “My guess would be that if Shuichi is present this evening it is because he wished to be.” He looked over at Yuki. “Which would seem to indicate that he felt it was time perhaps to let other people be aware that he is here?”

Yuki refused to answer. Perhaps that was it. Shuichi would have known that if anyone was going to pick up on his presence it would be Tatsuha so maybe he had done it deliberately. A gentle touch to his cheek seemed to confirm this thought but he still couldn’t stop his head from turning and frowning at the empty air by his side.

“Hey, is he next to you?” Tatsuha suddenly said, watching Yuki intently.

“Ah…” Yuki was loathe to say anything at first and then just shrugged and replied, “Yeah, at least a minute ago he was.”

Tatsuha leant forward and held out a hand, an expression of concentration on his face. “He’s still there I think. I can feel a ….concentration of energy right there.”

Interesting, Yuki thought, watching his younger brother. He hadn’t often seen Tatsuha doing any of his religious duties so it was a little bit of a revelation to watch.

“So what are you going to do?” he queried him.

Tatsuha looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

Yuki waved his hand before him. “Are you going to do your ‘hocus pocus’ and make him go poof?””

“You mean an exorcism?”

“Yeah,”

Tatsuha shook his head, chewing on his lip. “By rights I should,” Yuki couldn’t help but tense up. “But I’m not feeling any kind of hostility or evil, or even a sense of despair or wanting release. It seems that he’s quite happy to just be here. He doesn’t cause any problems?”

“Course he does, he’s still a brat!”

Tatsuha rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I meant,” he said. “I mean does he break things, throw stuff around, try to harm you or others?”

Yuki stared at him in amusement. “You’re talking about someone who cries because he can’t find his ipod!”

“Yeah, yeah, I gather that’s a ‘no’ then. Okay, he’s obviously not some sort of vengeful spirit,” Tatsuha couldn’t resist sneaking a look in Tohma’s direction. If anyone was going to feel Shuichi’s wrath it would probably be him. Though, then again, even a spirit probably wouldn’t be game to take on Tohma Seguich!

“Anyway, it also doesn’t seem that he’s feeding on your negative energy or ensuring to keep you miserable to do so as you seem to have been doing better and better all the time. So I guess that means that the only reason he’s here is that he wants to be, and for some reason the gods are letting him.” Tatsuha turned very serious then as he looked at Yuki. “That is unusual in itself you know. It’s not up to us to dictate to the gods where we go after death, that’s their choice. So he must only be here with their blessing, and they don’t usually do that for no reason.”

Yuki shrugged, “Well, I don’t know what it is. I don’t know of any ‘higher plan’ that they might have in mind for the idiot. Maybe they just didn’t want him anywhere else where he could cause trouble!” Yuki felt the air around him move as though someone took at swing at him and the temperature seemed to drop a degree or two for a moment.

Tatsuha’s lips twitched in amusement. “I think you just pissed him off!” he said with a chuckle.

“So that…..temperature change just then was Shuichi?” Mika said suddenly after having remained silent for some time. Yuki and Tatsuha both looked over at her in surprise. “What?!” she demanded, glaring at them both. “I’m the daughter of a monk remember?” she said, snorting at their stupidity. “Do you think that I’m not aware of some things like this? Idiots!” she finished with, settling back in her chair.

Tohma was smiling broadly. “Well, that does explain a few things.” he said, picking up his wine glass. “I think Shuichi has been trying to indicate his presence to me for some time now and I was being a little obstinate in acknowledging him.”

“Really?” Tatsuha queried whilst Mika threw a quick glance at her husband.

Tohma took a swallow. “Yes. I had noticed that things seemed different in the apartment, and when we went to the memorial recently I thought someone had touched me.” He shrugged. “I had brushed it off at the time and thought it was just my imagination.”

“You don’t have one,” Yuki said shortly.

Tohma tipped his head to one side and just met Yuki’s gaze evenly. “Which is why I passed it off. Think how terrifying it would be if I gained such a thing.”

He managed to say that with an entirely straight face which was what surprised Yuki more than anything else. He felt Shuichi’s presence give a burst of warmth that seemed to jiggle, whilst Tatsuha let out a burst of laughter.

“I can tell you now that Shuichi thinks that is just hilarious!” he said, picking his beer up and taking a long swallow. He turned to Yuki. “You know, this is really cool! I’ve never known someone to have a benign ghost in their house, and one that seems to be able to interact so closely with the living. Usually those are the bad, scary sort and they just give me the creeps.” His smile suddenly broadened. “That means that I’ve got someone to watch my Nittle Grasper videos with!”

Yuki groaned even as he felt Shuichi’s excitement. Ah, hell, he’s never going to get any peace now. Why did Shuichi want to reveal his presence to his family? He was never going to get rid of Tatsuha at this rate!

“Hmm,” Tohma murmured then, “That is an interesting thought. I have a number of new bands that are slightly promising but they need work on their song writing skills. Shuichi would be able to assist in that by giving some indication if he felt they would be capturing the right market or not. That was one of his better abilities – one of the few.” That just made Yuki groan again. And now he was going to have Tohma too!

He picked up his beer and downed it completely, before standing to get another. He intended to drown his sorrows well and truly tonight for he could see his life rapidly descending into hell from here on. Behind him Tatsuha and Tohma were already arguing about how to split Shuichi’s time and work out a simple way to communicate with his partner. Idiots, he thought to himself, grabbing a beer from the fridge and opening it.

“I’m glad, you know,” Mika’s quiet voice made him turn. She had come over to deposit the dirty plates in the sink. “I’m glad he’s still here. We’ve all missed him. You most of all.” She smiled at him then. “I should have guessed that something like this had happened. You wouldn’t be this happy if he wasn’t here. He was the only one who could make you happy like that. The only person in the world.”

He snorted at that. “You mean the only person who could drive me that crazy!” he grumbled.

Mika’s smiled just deepened and she stepped forward to place a light kiss on his cheek, surprising him. “That crazy in love.” she said with an impish grin.

“Get lost,” he said, motioning her away. She left him with a laugh, returning to her husband’s side.

Yuki remained where he stood in the kitchen watching the interplay continuing between the combatants in the other room, with Mika now adding her voice to the discussion. It was noisy and loud and totally stupid, but Yuki couldn’t stop the feeling to happiness that was filling his heart at seeing this scene played out. These were the people that meant the most to him in his life.

He felt a pressure around his waist as though an arm has encircled it. “This is your fault you know,” he said, not taking his eyes from his family. “You know they are never going to leave either of us alone now. Just what the hell were you thinking?” His waist was squeezed a little tighter.

“Well, be it on your own head,” he said, “Just don’t come moaning to me when they’re driving you crazy. This was your idea.”

A quick kiss brushed his cheek and then the presence left him. He saw Tatsuha’s head turn a moment later as though acknowledging the entrance of another person and suddenly the questions were being directed to Shuichi, with Tatsuha acting as interpreter and Tohma and Mika questioning the validity of his readings.

Yuki took another drink of beer. Well, he may as well join them. At least it was all out in the open now, he thought, making his way back into the room. At least now he had all his loved ones with him again.

***********

The rest of that year had been good – despite his irritation at times in having Tatsuha’s and Tohma’s presence on a regular basis whilst they spent time with Shuichi. He became used to seeing and hearing both of them seeming to be talking to themselves. If anyone else had seen them they really would have thought they had gone crazy but it all just became routine.

So from nearly a year of having Shuichi entirely to himself, there was another year where he was able to share his partner with his family again and he had to admit that it had felt good. He had even returned to writing and his new book had just been released after a very long hiatus and been accepted with great accolades which had surprised him. In all, his life was good – very good, and he had thought that nothing would change that.

Until now.

Until that ghostly whisper told him he was going – somewhere, and Yuki felt his world crumbling around him once again.

“Promise you will wait….” The whisper demanded.

“Wait for what?” he asked brokenly. What was there for him to wait for? He was just about to lose everything!

“For me….” was the soft response.

What? Yuki didn’t understand. “What do you mean? I don’t know what you mean!”

“I’ll return…..” The voice caressed his mind. “I promise….”

“Promise?” he begged, needing the reassurance.

“I promise….” It was said sincerely and Yuki couldn’t doubt it. “I promise…..Wait for me…..”

“All right,” Yuki said in a hoarse voice, struggling to get the words out. What more could he do? He couldn’t stop Shuichi, as much as he wanted to. “All right, I’ll wait. But please,” and he looked up, still seeing nothing. “Please come back!”

A touch to his cheek, a soft caress. “I promise…..With all my heart…..”

Yuki couldn’t stop his tears though he tried his best to bring up a small smile. “Okay.” He felt the drawing away of Shuichi’s presence and panic gripped him again.

“I love you!” he blurted out. How many times had he wished that he had said those words more often? How many times had he regretted not being able to get past his pride and fears to let this one person know just how much he meant to him? He wasn’t going to do that again. He wasn’t able to say it to him at the end the last time. This time he was going to make certain he did.

“I love you. I always have. I always will.”

He was suddenly engulfed by Shuichi’s presence as though the younger man had thrown himself into Yuki’s embrace. He could feel a constriction around his neck as though he was being squeezed by two arms wound tightly about him. How he wished he could embrace him back! He raised his arms and formed them into a circle almost exactly where he imagine Shuichi’s body would have been if it was substantial. “I love you,” he whispered again, not being able to say it enough times.

Shuichi drew back and Yuki let his arms fall. Still here was nothing to see but it was as though he could see him walking backwards, smiling, tears in those large amethyst eyes.

“I love you too…..” he heard. “I love you more than anything…….”

Then, he was gone. There was no trace of his presence anywhere and this time there was a sense finality to it, of real absence. This time Yuki knew that he truly wasn’t going to be back in just a moment.

He felt his resolve crumble, the pieces starting to fly away. No, he ground out to himself, gathering himself together again. No, he wasn’t going to go to pieces! He had promised Shuichi that he would wait, and he would wait.

Shuichi had come back to make sure that Yuki was okay, of that he was certain. He wasn’t going to throw all that away because he was too cowardly to face the world on his own for a time. He was through hiding away. Shuichi said he would be back and he wouldn’t lie to Yuki, not about something like that. So it was up to him to make certain he looked after himself until that happened - however long it took.

He took a deep breath and got to his feet, straightening his shirt, brushing down his trousers and running a hand across his face to wipe away the last of the tears. Well, he had better break the news to the others first to prevent them going into a panic that he wouldn’t be able to cope. He would no doubt have to put up with their concern for a time until they were satisfied that he wasn’t going to break down again but he could tolerate that.

Then he had to just get on with things and wait until Shuichi returned to him.