This Is How It Ends

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WHOO Chapter Two >3
Enjoy.


Song: Inspiration on Demand
Shadowsfall

||Yadda Yadda Yaaa|| = Lyrics
"Yadda Yadda Yaaa" = Talking



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Yuki’s POV
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||Where has it all gone?||

I screamed at you Shu…

But you didn’t answer me back, I thought… you would always answer me back.

But that was my problem wasn’t it? I always thought you were going to be there. You were the something that kept me grounded to reality; I could depend on you to come running back, stuttering apologies begging for me to take you back. But you didn’t come back after that day…

To be honest… I don’t remember… that day…

But I was sure, that those bruises… I must’ve caused them right Shu? I don’t remember, but I know… I said something to tear you smile off that beautiful face of yours.

And where’s my life line now? Where are you Shu?

You’re… not here.

||Have all of the words escaped?||

Selfish,

I always was a selfish bastard… I can’t remember the last time I smiled at you, I thanked you, took you out, embraced you, bought you a gift, whispered sweet nothings to you,

Loved you.

I thought, that you would always be there…

||Inspiration on demand||

When was your birthday?

Look at me Shu, from wherever your soul is drifting, look at me. I’m so fucked up. I thought… I know… I… loved you Shu. I realized after five months of worrying where you were, rumors of your death tore me, you really rose my blood pressure you know. Doctor complained, but hell… when did I care about my health when it was about you?

But when I heard you call after months of your absence, I felt whatever remains of my black heart pull together, my world fit in place, everything had stop spinning for a spilt second…and I was alive again Shu.

But I realized too late, didn’t I?

… because you ripped it away from me… my life line,

my reality,

my world,

you.

||Emotions all displaced||

Remember at the park? She… I don’t even remember her name now. But she was a new editor for my book, they… those stupid publishers thought I couldn’t handle it on my own with how the doctor was fussing over me, so they hired her, that clingy, talkative bitch who acted nothing like you Shu, she… I honestly couldn’t stand here.

She took my hand, some reassuring gesture while telling me to relax so I won’t stress myself. I wanted to beat her senseless.

To be honest… I was still waiting for you Shu. I knew you were at Hiro’s house, I knew your cell, I knew you daily routine most days. I was waiting for you to come home to me, Shu.

||And I will wander endlessly||

Then I saw you at the park, walking with K, Ryuichi and the rest of that band of gay homos that you indulge yourself in, I felt myself grow lighter like all the burden was gone from my shoulders.

I thought maybe, you would come running to me, sobbing, hugging and asking for me to take you back. But you didn’t Shu… you didn’t… instead…

I saw you break right in front of me for a split moment. I realized, that whatever I did I tore in you too deep and now…

||Seeking all the answers that I let slip
through my fingers.||

But you just smiled,

Smiled, and excused yourself, saying you were tired and needed to go home, that Hiro was waiting. Honestly Shu… Hiro wasn’t waiting was he? He was too busy with that whore that I was engaged to, the one I left behind over you.

K… he looked like he wanted to blow a few bullets through my chest and I knew, he very well could’ve. Ryuichi, he actually scared me with his glare, they all knew, I knew… but maybe I was in denial… I wanted you Shu, even though I could tell… everyone was trying to keep us apart.

But I know Shu… you told everyone to leave me alone… must’ve took a lot of persuasion to tell Hiro to back down, a neck breaker to tell K to not put a hole in my head.

I bet… everyone wanted a piece of me, for…

Killing you, right Shu?

||I will wander endlessly||

Hey Shuichi…

I lied… I do… remember what I did and said, Shu. But I don’t want to. God knows I don’t want to.

I… don’t want to remember what I did and said… at first I thought I didn’t care, seeing you leave brought silence, something I could never have with you around. But I think… that silence drove me a bit mad.

|| Seeking all the answers that
I let slip and fall away.||

I was actually late on a dead line. I Eiri Yuki was late on a dead line, my first might I add. I was almost near completion, and figured I would finish it tomorrow, so, I let myself slip and grabbed a beer or two.

I heard the mug shattered and for a split second my façade slipped, only you Shu, could make me worry as I stepped to the kitchen, no… I sprinted.

Even though I could tell that we weren’t as close as we were… then again, with my behavior and personality… we probably never even came to that, right? But still, you were the only one that I ever came close to loving. Lately though… you’ve been shying away. That pissed me off Shu… I hated this reserved, quiet person that you became… that triggered it, the hate.

But you changed… because of me, right?

Did I finally tear you down with my ignorance, harsh words, and cold silence? Did you change because you found to reason to come home as that excited, young, pink haired boy that would cling to me, even if I threatened you? God… I threatened you…

Remember that one day… I was zoned out… trying as hard as I could to think of future chapters for my new soon-to-be best seller. And you crept into my room, my haven, without a word. God knows how long you just sat there and watched me, but I eventually became ignorant to your silence and forgotten that you were even there.

All you wanted was a hug right? Something to reassure you that I was still in love with you, right Shu? So that’s what you tried, whispering my name.

But you startled me… and I stood abruptly, knocking you to the ground during the process. Fear was reeking off you, that was the first time wasn’t it? But that… that was an accident, I never meant to hit you. But still… I had to stand my fucking ground and be that prideful, cold hearted shit head I am.

“Get the hell out of my room brat, and next time KNOCK.” I had gritted between my teeth and you took no moment to stay there any longer. After all, you scared me, and I, Eiri Yuki hated to be scared.

I never felt worse in my life.

And I ended up, seeing if you were alright 6 minutes after I done that idiotic action when my inspiration to write failed me miserably. You forgave me Shu, you always did.

|| Turn it all around
It melts into sound
(unfolding... ever growing)||

When I had entered that Kitchen I was so relived to that you, my love…

You were okay.

“What the hell happened you brat? Another Mug?” I couldn’t help the cold demeanor from my tone, I swore, I almost flinched at the hardness of it, but that was just who I was.

|| Torn from my rest
Though I still fight to stay.||

But you just looked at me… mumbled a sorry under you breath and continued to pick up the shattered pieces from the ground. Then I realized something, that was MY mug and you, you were being the other Shuichi.

“Dammit kid, how many do you have to break, do I need to get a plastic one for you? Jesus.” I was annoyed but not angry…okay, well, maybe a little, that had been my favorite mug after all. I hate it… my quick flaring anger… and I couldn’t help but yell at you Shu.

You muttered another apology, but I kept going, kept spitting cold words at you, that’s another one of my problems… I don’t know when to stop, do I?

|| The images dissolve
As the day invades||

I think… I pushed you over the edge, because you pushed me away from you when I had tried to clean the mess up myself, and you screamed at me… told me to shut up, that you knew you were useless and worth nothing, that I didn’t have to rub it in.

That broke me, that I created you to think that.

Did i?

I yelled back at you, and after awhile, I don’t even think we knew what we were fighting over. But you said something that started the revolution of my world to begin spinning.

“I hate you Yuki, I hate you so much when you’re like this… but why do-”

|| The images dissolve
As the day invades||

I didn’t wait for you to finish, I was acting without thinking, then I heard the slap before my mind could register it. I had hit you, Shu. God my world shattered, but at the moment, I was too angry to care, too fed up to notice, too dwelled in hatred.

When I think about it, I knew the ending to that sentence but why do I love you? That was it, right? But like I said… I was too mad to care, I think… I hit you again… then I said it, something I thought that was impossible to say to you.

“I don’t want to see your face again, get the hell out now, and if you ever come back this time, I’ll fucking kill you.”

You were scared, I could see it and you refused to move… or you couldn’t. So I reached for you arm, you flinched away, god you flinched, you were afraid of me weren’t you shu? When I reached for the door knob, you cried, I regret everything Shu… everything I did to you and didn’t do…

I could’ve cried too, I loved you, and I broke you.

|| A second to react
The mind too slow to act
(unfolding... ever growing)||

When you said your final words to me, I had called Hiro on my cell, I think he called K,. God knows how Tohma found out., but me, Hiro, K, Tohma… we found your apartment, we traced the call or that was what Tohma and K had said to me… and I was still screaming at the phone for you to answer me.

K kicked down the door, even though it was opened, and we all froze.

You still looked so beautiful, even as you skin was paled white, your eyes half lidded with that faint smile on you face, surrounded by blood, your blood… you…

I heard, Hiro choke back sobs as he ran toward you, trying to stop the blood to the knife wound at you throat. Tomha slid down to the floor, I don’t know what he was thinking, I don’t know if he cared… but, he started to hyperventilate.

I broke Shu, when I saw you eyes look at me with that dull glimmer before closing permanently to that never ending slumber.

Everyone was… you. What was running through my mind?!

K, he… this was the first time I saw him cry, he cried for you Shu, you know that. And I, I stood there, too afraid, too lost, too dead to do anything. What was worse, was when Hiro pulled the picture from your graps, he looked at it, disgusted and threw it to my feet. One of the few pictures I let you take of me and you…

I cried Shu, God I never cried so hard in my life… but I cried.

By taking your own life, you took mine, Shu, because my life WAS you.

I guess, we’re both selfish then, huh?

|| Drown the voices of restraint
Make them choke to silence||

I’m so sorry shu, sorry that I wasn’t on time with you funeral, but I’m here now, after everyone was gone… standing there right next to your headstone where everyone else had left nothing but flowers in their wake, and slowly tracing the letters of your name.

I was too afraid to be there with everyone else that loved you… because no matter how they said it wasn’t my fault, I knew, they knew, deep down they did blame me. I blamed myself too.

I pushed you.

I broke you.

I killed you.

I loved you.

|| Incinerate the ropes
And embrace the hope
(unfolding... ever growing)||

I wonder if you can see me Shu?

I figured out something I know you would be proud of, I hope. I figured out that you were the light in my life and now, everything is black. And you know… no one can live in the darkness forever, right Shu?

So you wouldn’t be mad if I did one more selfish thing, would you?

They said, my heart is taking too much at the moment and I’m stressing myself out too much, they think I’ll end up dying with a heart attack some time soon from the way I’m going. Well… I wouldn’t bet my money on that.

|| Splintering the doors
Free the mind to soar
(unfolding... ever growing)||

Life’s not worth living anymore Shu, not when you’re not there to greet me every morning and welcome me home every night. When I can’t eat with you, spend time with you… even have you barge in my room. The house was too quite, I had to leave… now that I realized that it’ll never be filled with you voice again.

Shu… you were my world. I wish… that I wasn’t so confident that nothing could break you, that you would always come back to me in the end… and I was wrong.

I broke you.

And now you can never com back to me.

So I’m coming toward you Shu. You’ve chased me too many times before, so now it’s my turn to chase you. They send suicides to the same place, right? So… I’ll be meeting you soon, Shuichi. I hope…

God I never realized how much I loved you.

|| Turn it all around||

I still have that gun, when I went to the states and planned out my death which was abruptly interrupted by you. But now… you’re not here to save me. No one can save me… and I couldn’t save you Shu.

Sorry if I end up making your new headstone dirty, its just that, I want to be so close to you now, knowing that this, this is the last time in the god forsaken world, the pitch black nothing that it became since you’ve departed.

It was raining, began raining the day you died and it still hasn’t let up.

But that’s okay, it’ll wash my tainted blood from your headstone.

So now, I’m sitting there, leaning my back against you headstone, gun to my head.

I’m so happy Shu, I’ll be able to see you, and I’ll tell you how sorry I am, what you really mean to me. I’ll hug you, kiss you, tell you I love you every minute of every day, I will Shu. I promise when we meet again.

“I love you Shuichi Shindou.”

And with that, I pulled the trigger.

|| It melts into sound||

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Er… don’t kill me if it’s not good?

Well… hope this is good,

Lovers DIE. >:3

see what misunderstanding can do to people, it can KILL you.
Well, this is the continuation of my first fic… I er… hope you like it?

I thought It was pretty decent… enough… I hope. Sorry, but I’m just kinda, you know, nervous about my writing since I don’t normally show it to anyone. I’ll try to write more HAPPIER fics later.

And rate and review please? :3