Patience

A/N:
I’m trying my best with angst. I hope you like it.

style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'>Patience 2

class=SpellE>Tezuka felt dying inside. The sight of w:st="on">Fuji and Atobe
together, burnt into his mind, suffocated him, stabbing him inside. The pain
was deep, scarring deep into his soul. His heart clenched tightly, painfully in
his chest. His unshed tears pricked his eyes, threatening to fall anytime.

Yet
Tezuka couldn’t bring himself to blame w:st="on">Fuji. He couldn’t blame w:st="on">Fuji for this. It’s not w:st="on">Fuji’s fault. It’s his
fault. Yes, there must be a reason why this happened to them. There must be
something wrong. He must’ve done something wrong, something so wrong that made w:st="on">Fuji seek class=SpellE>Atobe.

Had
he not spent enough time with Fuji?
Had he overwork himself and neglected Fuji
too much for club works? Did Fuji
mind when he refused to have him over because he needed to finish some work? It
happened often enough. Was Fuji
disappointed because they couldn’t spend enough time together?

Or
was it because of tennis? Fuji
knew all too well that tennis was Tezuka’s passion.
He couldn’t possibly mind competing with the sport that had brought them
together… could he? Fuji
could be demanding and even selfish sometimes, but he should know that tennis
was an important part of Tezuka’s life. He must class=GramE>have understood, right?

What
had he done wrong? What had he done to displease his lover? What made w:st="on">Fuji turn to class=SpellE>Atobe? What did Atobe offer that class=SpellE>Tezuka couldn’t give? Expensive items, branded clothes,
dinner in fancy restaurants, things Tezuka couldn’t
give and Fuji
never asked for?

class=SpellE>Tezuka didn’t know what his fault was, but he was convinced
that it lied within him. Whatever it was, he’d try to fix it, he’d make it up
to Fuji, he’d get w:st="on">Fuji back. class=SpellE>Tezuka wasn’t ready to be parted from w:st="on">Fuji. He never wanted to be parted from w:st="on">Fuji. He loved him too
much he couldn’t go on without him. He would get w:st="on">Fuji back. At any cost.

*

He
thought he’s helping their relationship by spending more time with w:st="on">Fuji. He used every free
time he got with Fuji.
Tezuka found himself getting better acquainted with w:st="on">Fuji’s body. No place was
off limit now, school and semi public places were now okay.

But
many times their encounters were to brief to sate them. Fears of getting caught
by others and the lack of time got in the way. Tezuka
always tried to make up to it later. Fuji
seemed happy, satisfied and content, then and Tezuka’s
hope would always rise. But it never stopped w:st="on">Fuji from going away in some evenings, doing
school projects Tezuka now knew never existed, breaking
Tezuka’s heart with his lies. Still, class=SpellE>Tezuka preserved, swallowing back the pain as he continued
to try to make Fuji
return to him.

“Are
you sure it’s all right?”

“Yes,
Shuusuke, it’s all right.”

w:st="on">Fuji smiled and leaned up
to kiss Tezuka tenderly. “Thank you.”

class=SpellE>Tezuka observed quietly as his lover lied on his stomach
beside him on the bed, reading the manual book to the camera class=SpellE>Tezuka just bought for him. It wasn’t the first time class=SpellE>Tezuka bought things for w:st="on">Fuji. He had lavished w:st="on">Fuji lately, buying him flowers, cactus, and
books. He wondered what Atobe had given to w:st="on">Fuji and whether the
camera could stand a chance against the stuff Atobe
had given him.

For
once Fuji
didn’t realize Tezuka’s discontent as he was so busy
studying the camera. Another searing pain laced through Tezuka.
Did he not mean anything for Fuji
anymore?

“You’ve
been very generous to me lately. Why?” Fuji
asked his lover without even looking at him.

class=GramE>“Because.” Tezuka answered softly,
not wanting to let out his real feeling.

“You
know, if I didn’t know better, I would think that you’re feeling guilty over
cheating on me.” Fuji
laughed.

class=SpellE>Tezuka frowned lightly but said nothing. Didn’t w:st="on">Fuji felt the slightest
bit of guilt for what he had done? Or did he no longer care about class=SpellE>Tezuka at all, deliberately hurting him like that? class=SpellE>Tezuka swallowed a lump that rose to his throat. Was it
already too late to try to get him back?

Suddenly
Fuji’s cell
phone that lied between them rang, startling them both. w:st="on">Fuji quickly picked it up and excused himself
to answer the phone outside. But Tezuka had seen what
he needed to see. The ID flashing on the cell phone’s screen was class=SpellE>Atobe’s.

Shortly
after, Fuji
reentered Tezuka’s room with an apologetic smile.
“Sorry, Kunimitsu, but I have to return before
dinner. There’s a group assignment I need to check.”

Another
lie, Tezuka thought bitterly. But he said nothing as
he watched Fuji
returned to the manual book. Where would Atobe take
him this time? A five star hotel? His
manor? Had they…

Overcome
by jealousy and insecurity, Tezuka took the book from
Fuji’s hand,
causing the small brunette to look up in question. Before he could ask, class=SpellE>Tezuka leaned down and kissed him passionately. w:st="on">Fuji was startled at first
but quickly overcame his shock and kissed back just as passionately. He rolled
over to his back as Tezuka invaded and claimed his
mouth with his tongue. Tezuka shifted around until he
lay between Fuji’s spread legs and then he
lifted Fuji’s legs
so that they could wrap around his waist, bringing their erections flushed
against each other. Fuji
groaned loudly as Tezuka began to rock his hips
forward.

w:st="on">Fuji didn’t fight when class=SpellE>Tezuka took off his shirt. He writhed and moaned on the
bed, clutching Tezuka’s head to his chest as he
sucked one of his nipples. Meanwhile, Tezuka
untangled Fuji’s legs around his hips before his
fingers found the zipper of Fuji’s
trouser, unzipped it and pushed the offending material down.

“Ah,
Kunimitsu, wait.” w:st="on">Fuji gasped.

But
Tezuka paid him no heed, pushing w:st="on">Fuji’s trouser and underwear down to tangle
down his hips. Fuji
squirmed beneath him as Tezuka caressed the bare skin
usually covered. Seeing this as an attempt to get away, Tezuka
bit down hard on Fuji’s neck and pushed a dry
finger into Fuji’s
warmth.

Suddenly
he was shoved back non-to-gently. His lover sat up and looked away from him as
he rearranged his clothes hastily. No word was said but the glare he sent class=SpellE>Tezuka before he slammed the door behind him spoke volumes.
Anger, disbelieve and disappointment marred his face, making class=SpellE>Tezuka unable to stop him. He buried his face in his hands.
The regret came far too late.

*

They
didn’t meet for a few days, Fuji
would mysteriously disappear during breaks and he excused himself from tennis
practices because of a certain ‘illness’. He didn’t pick up Tezuka’s
calls nor answer his messages. When Tezuka called his
house, Yumiko would tell him that her brother was out. w:st="on">Fuji was avoiding him, refusing to even hear
his apology. It hurt Tezuka badly to think that his
lover don’t want to have anything to do with him anymore.

Everyone
around him felt his dark mood and expressed their concerns, but only few
actually understood the problem. His mother naturally realized her son’s
romantic issue. She noticed that Fuji
hadn’t gone to their house for a couple of days and quickly related it to class=SpellE>Tezuka’s dark mood. She wanted to help but class=SpellE>Tezuka rejected any of her attempts, wanting to solve this
on his own.

class=GramE>Cold. Lonely. Empty. That’s all class=SpellE>Tezuka was capable of feeling ever since his fight with w:st="on">Fuji. He missed w:st="on">Fuji. Everyday he spent
without Fujiclass=GramE>, he felt some part of him die inside.

“I’m
sorry.” He typed a short message on his cell phone. “I’m really sorry. Let’s
talk. Don’t avoid me please.”

It
was his 26^th text message and just like the ones before, it want
replied. Tezuka buried his face in his hands. His
eyes stung and his throat clogged with unshed tears. He’d give anything to turn
back the time and undo his mistake but he knew t was impossible. What’s done is
done. Now he must face the consequence of his mistake.

Suddenly
he felt a powerful hand gripped his slumping shoulder. He looked up to see his
grandfather standing beside him. Tezuka class=SpellE>Kunikazu sat tensely beside his grandson, not looking at
him. Neither spoke for a while until finally Kunikazu
cleared his throat.

“We
cannot take back the things we’ve done in the past, the mistakes we’ve made.”
He began awkwardly. “But there are two simple fix for every mistake. class=GramE>Apology and forgiveness.”

class=SpellE>Tezuka shook his head despairingly. “I’ve tried. I really
have but…”

class=GramE>“Never stopped trying. Never give up your hope. The
conclusion is in your hand, you can’t stop trying.” Kunikazu
squeezed his grandson’s shoulder encouragingly.

class=SpellE>Tezuka glanced at his grandfather and smiled slightly.

*

class=GramE>Torment. That’s what Tezuka was
going through right now. He was sitting in a diner with his teammates and ex
rival team, Hyoutei Gakuen.
And sitting right next to him was the famous captain, Atobe
Keigo.

It
was part of Inui’s brilliant idea to make a gathering of ex rivaling tennis
teams in order to make a bonding between promising tennis players. It was all
of course a hidden attempt to update his data. But little did he know that he
was causing his captain pain. Fuji
was invited but couldn’t promise to come. Tezuka
wondered if he was being considerate to not come when both his boyfriends were
there. Or did he simply not want to see Tezuka
anymore?

class=SpellE>Tezuka concentrated on the glass of iced tea in front of
him to avoid looking at Atobe. He avoided
conversation with the narcist. He feared he would
strangle him if he made any kind of contact with Atobe,
the man who took Fuji away from him, the man who
started his suffering, the man w:st="on">Fuji chose over him…

class=GramE>“Minna.”

class=SpellE>Tezuka’s eyes widened slightly. That voice… Could it be..?

When
he looked up he saw Fuji
standing near the table. The tensai looked as
beautiful as ever, his mere presence sent a calming atmosphere around the place.
His lips curled into a pleasant smile as he watched his teammates’ surprise
over seeing him there. Yet Tezuka could see the
tension on his body and the way he seemed to hide himself behind an invisible
wall.

class=GramE>“Fujiko! Where have you been, nya?”

“I
didn’t feel very well lately so I couldn’t come to practice.” Then finally he
locked his eyes with Tezuka’s. Tezuka’s
heart beat faster with longing and fear. Fuji
knew this but decide to ignore it. “Tezuka, we need
to talk.”

Silence
fell over the table. The occupants of the table glanced alternatively between w:st="on">Fuji and class=SpellE>Tezuka. Finally, Tezuka slowly
rose from his seat.

“Excuse
me, minna. I’ll borrow him for a while.” w:st="on">Fuji said lightly with a
smile, trying to break the tension.

The
couple went to an occupied table on the furthest corner of the restaurant. They
could sense their friends’ eyes on them, watching them in worry and curiosity.
They paid them no heed as they sat before each other, thick, uncomfortable
silence wrapped around them.

class=SpellE>Tezuka wasn’t a man of many words, but this time he felt
the need to break the cold quietness. “Shuusuke, I’m
sorry.”

w:st="on">Fuji looked up to him
quietly, not smiling. “I know.” He took a deep breath before speaking again.
“I’ve been thinking these past few days. You’ve made your mistakes and I’ve
made mine. We need to evaluate our relationship.”

“class=SpellE>Shuusuke…” Tezuka whispered
pleadingly, dreading the words that would leave w:st="on">Fuji’s mouth.

“I
think we need a break. We need some space, away from each other to introspect
ourselves.”

“I’m
sorry. I’m really sorry.”

w:st="on">Fuji forced a smile. “I
know. But we need this break.” He said with finality.

Silence
fell over them once again. Tezuka abandoned all
efforts to appear strong and stoic. He openly looked at w:st="on">Fuji disbelievingly, pleadingly. But w:st="on">Fuji wouldn’t look at him.
Couldn’t he feel his desperation, his pain? He couldn’t do without w:st="on">Fuji.

“Well,
that’s all I have to say.” Fuji
stood up and started to walk away. As he passed Tezuka,
his hand was suddenly pulled to stop him. He looked at Tezuka
in surprise.

“I
love you.”

w:st="on">Fuji’s eyes opened,
revealing startled blue eyes. For a moment he stood mutely, letting class=SpellE>Tezuka hold his hand desperately. But then he blinked, smiled
and pulled his hand back.

“I’ll
see you tomorrow.”

class=SpellE>Tezuka watched, crestfallen, as his lover walked away. w:st="on">Fuji waved their friends
good bye and made some excuses to not join them. Tezuka
wanted to run and hold Fuji,
never to let go again. But he couldn’t. Fuji’s
words rang in his ears clearly, breaking his heart slowly, painfully. He
couldn’t help noticing the look Atobe gave w:st="on">Fuji as he walked away.

class=SpellE>Atobe… and Fuji…

He
couldn’t take it anymore. He could return to join his friends and quickly went
home after excusing himself. When Ayana greeted her
son in the hallway of Tezuka residence, she found him
standing mutely with tears staining his handsome face.

TT_TT