Depraved and Deprived

Beyond has passed out curled up next to Matt—not holding the boy, but next to his side pressed against him.
Their hair brushes and mingles black on red, blood on night, fire on oil.
Matt is not the one having the nightmares, even if he should be.
No—this dark night, Beyond’s sleep is stalked with the dreams better left unsaid.

“B…” Her face is so tried as she speaks. She’s lost weight again; he knows it.
“Alberta…” He sits on her bed.
“What did he say?”
“He…”
“He named us both, right?” Beyond picks up her hand and clasps it close.
“We kept our tests the same…we’re going to be co-L…you and me...A…”

She shakes her head her dark brown hair falling into her eyes.
“Just me…just...me….”
His eyes widen.
“This won’t keep us from each other…” He hugs her.
“You’re all I have…”

“I know…” Her eyes are hollow.
“If…I…” She stares into his eyes.
“If something happened to me…”
“What?” He laughs
“Don’t talk that way…”

A month later she’s dead by her own hand.
She knew even when she did it what he would become without her…what he was already perhaps but the pressure of all the long lonely years was too much for her.

She leaves a note begging him to be good. No one but him finds it…and even if they did, they would be unable to read their code.
He burns it and leaves, swearing revenge on the man who built this house of pain, swearing to bring down L.

Mello is huddled on Matt’s bed, face buried in his pillow. He inhales hard, grasping at something…
A small sound from the door jerks his head up.
“Oh…Near…” he’s too exhausted and sacred to scream at the white haired boy to numb to care.
“Are you sacred?” Near asks softly.
Mello is about to bite something hard and nasty off but he sees Near’s hand clutching his hair and it dies in his mouth.

“What…if-”Near stares down at his feet.
“He’s dead?” Mello asks, his voice cold.
“Yes.”
“Then he’s dead.” Mello sits up.
“How…can you say such a thing?” Near asks, his voice and face have not changed but Mello can feel his emotions.
“Don’t you love him?”
Mello blinks.
“Love?” He asks archly.

Mello smiles a sweet and predatory smile.
“I want to be known as the boy who never loved anyone, ” he hisses as he walks out of the room.
Near wonders why, if Mello doesn’t care so much, he bothered to pocket Matt’s Game Boy.
Near later wonders why, if Mello doesn’t care so much, those sobs come from his room that night.
Near also wonders why he bothers to walk by Mello’s room.


Matt wakes again, this time a lot more clear-headed but with a huge headache.
He winces and stares down at Beyond, who is curled up next to him—the older man seeming helpless in sleep.
Matt shakes him lightly.
Beyond’s eyes snap open and his arms twitch; he almost reaches out and chokes the boy before he gets his bearings.

“Good morning…” Beyond says civilly.
“L…” Matt shallows hard.
“I need to ask you something…”
“Yes?” Beyond sits up and rakes a hand in his wild hair.
“Why did you do this…this…way?”

And here it is, the moment of truth…he can tell Matt who and what he is and gain his fear now, or wait and gain his hate later.
He stares into the green eyes looking at him with pure love, a smile curving his lips.
And Beyond lies like a senator found in an alley with a whore.

“It was a test,” he says, pulling his knees up to his chest. “To see if you trust me. You passed.” He ruffles Matt’s hair.
Matt’s grin is wide and beaming.
“I did!?” He wiggles a little, not unlike a puppy.

“Now…I have a task for you.”
Matt nods quickly.
“Here, take my laptop and get me everything you can on a man called Norton Fish.”
Matt almost yanks the laptop from Beyond’s hands in his eagerness to do the job.
Beyond settles down with a small jar of jam and watches Matt intently.


Soon Matt has everything Beyond knew already about the man and a few things he had not.
“I was right to pick you.”
Beyond smiles at Matt, who feels a cold shiver go down his spine.
It’s only L…nothing to be sacred of, Mail…

“Now that your test is over, tonight we move into a place more fitting of our status.”
He stands.
“For now, I am leaving.”
Matt bites his lip and nods.

“I…can’t come, right?”
“No.”
He stretches and walks out without another word, his bare feet making no sound, as always.
Matt curls into his blankets, only his nose poking out, and misses Mello.

Norton Fish comes home to an empty house, as always.
He walks into his kitchen, tossing his keys down on the counter.
“I want to be clear.” The voice behind him is as steady as the hands holding the knife to his throat.“I don’t care that you are the Green Lake Killer.”
“I…what are you talking about?!” He says, trying for a firm voice--however, it is unsteady.

“I want to be clear that you are dying for a greater issue, then…your thing with…young girls.”
“I found you before L did.”
“Now you’ll die, horribly…for...I like that….But the point remains: you’re dying so I can show L…that I’m better….”

Norton is spun about, his glasses flying from his face as Beyond rough shoves him down on the floor.
In a flash, he’s sitting on the older man, his eyes gleaming with bloodlust, his face excited for once.
He slams a knife into Norton’s palm and he howls, kicking at Beyond, who yanks a syringe from his pants and injects the man.
“Now…sit, boy,” he snarls.
“please…please…I’m just a normal man…”
“I am 100 percent certain you are not.” Beyond leans down and drags a finger in the blood then licks it. “And even if you were, I would not care.” He opens a drawer, looking for more knives.
Norton is paralyzed on the floor, but still fully aware.
He feels it when Beyond slams another knife into his foot, pinning it to the floor.

He howls…he pleads…at last, he admits it.
But that wasn’t why Beyond came here.
He came for the blood…for the sweet smell when a body is cut open.
He came to send a message.

He paints goggles on the floor of the kitchen along with a B.
He smiles.
He licks the blood from his fingers.
Oh yes…Beyond thinks he’ll keep playing this game.
It’s fun.