If Only for Him

Okay kittens. This story is happening fast and hard. I told you it would not be like my other story though I do wish some one would review this and let me know if I should quit.

This chappie has a lot and I hope you enjoy it.


Chapter One


Kaoru groaned as the light from the morning bathed her room. As she finally became aware of her surroundings and the night before she smiled. ‘Who would have thought that a sleepless night would have lead to such a beautiful act of passion,’ she thought, remembering the night before.


*********************************************


Kaoru sat up, huffing in frustration as restlessness came over her whole body. The blue-eyed girl needed sleep, she had to sleep for she had classes early the next morning and they were to last throughout the whole day. She stood up, walking out the screen door and into the cool night thinking about the changes that had happened in the last year.


With the help of Kenshin, Yahiko, Sanosuke, and even Megumi, her class load had almost become unbearable. Her father’s style, the Kamiya style, had regained its former glory and she couldn’t be happier. Not even the fact that doctor and the girls had moved to another village could dampen the lightness in the air around the dojo, though it was a little boring without them. The only thing missing from her life was she and Kenshin moving from friends to lovers or even husband and wife but Kaoru knew that was unlikely to happen anytime soon if ever. She let out a sigh of longing as she stared at the stars. She was pulled out of her musings and secret wishes when she heard footsteps approaching from behind. Kaoru turned to see Kenshin walking toward her.


The amethyst-eyed man walked up to her, smiling in his usual greeting that always took her breath away. “Kaoru-dono, you should not be out on this cold night, that you shouldn’t,” Kenshin told her, stopping by her side.


Kaoru looked up at him. “I could not sleep, Kenshin, and thought that maybe the cold air would take away some of my restlessness.”


“Then I hope you wouldn’t mind if I joined you, that I would,” he told her, sitting down next to her when she nodded her head.


“Kenshin,” Kaoru started after they had sat in companionable silence for about fifteen minutes, “what are you doing up so late?”


Kenshin turned to her, a slight blush crossing his face. “I also could not sleep, that I could not, Kaoru-dono,” he answered her smiling his usual goofy grin.


Kaoru started to laugh softly but stopped when a cold gust of wind blew over them causing her to bring her arms around her body for some type of protection. “Winter is close, ne?”


Kenshin frowned and scooted closer to her. He placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her body against his, not noticing the deep red blush that appeared on her face. “That it is, Kaoru-dono. Tomorrow I will remember to pull the heavier blankets and robes out of storage so that you will not be so cold,” he told her while resting his head on her own and rubbing her arms to warm her up.


Kaoru was already warm but it had more to do with the sudden closeness of the two of them than anything else. How many nights had she dreamed of the time when her Kenshin would take her into his embrace and make her his. She pulled away from him slightly and looked up to look him in the face. “Thank you for all you do, Kenshin, really. I don’t know how I would have made it without you,” Kaoru told him, her voice barely a whisper.


Kenshin looked down into her blue eyes, all signs of the innocent wanderer gone. His longing for her was reflected in her own eyes and he couldn’t stop from cupping her face with one hand and kissing her. It was gentle but harsh, soft but hard, a complete and total contradictory which was everything that the two of them were. When he traced his tongue around her lips, asking silently for entrance, she immediately granted it moaning in pleasure.


As she began to lose herself in the pleasure of Kenshin’s touch, Kaoru was pulled out of her lust filled state when Kenshin pulled away from her and stood up bringing her with him. She had no chance to ask him any questions before she was drug into her room and placed on her sleeping mat and her mouth was taken again.


******************************************


It had been everything that Kaoru had thought that it would be. Of course there had been a slight pain but the pleasure she felt had been worth it, being with Kenshin was worth it. Kaoru began blushing when she realized where her thoughts were going and sat up on her mat, wincing at the soreness she felt from her lower half.


She turned to look around her room, seeing that the object of her thoughts was not there. ‘Well, he must be in the kitchen fixing breakfast,’ she thought as she got up and quickly slipping into her clothing for class. Kaoru all but ran to the kitchen but when she got there, there was no Kenshin. He was also not in his room, in the storage room, in Yahiko’s room, the dojo, or even outside doing laundry or chopping wood. It wasn’t right. Kenshin never left without telling her. She was almost frantic in her search, throwing every door open and running around looking for him. When Yahiko came home from working in town all night, the raven-haired woman demanded the young teen to tell her if he knew anything.


“What the hell is wrong with you, Tanuki? Why in the hell would I know where Kenshin is? He was here all night with you, wasn’t he?” he yelled back at her as she fled the property to check Megumi’s since she had no idea where Sano would be.


When she reached the clinic, Kaoru was completely out of breath. She beat her fist against the wood of the rice paper door, knowing that the older woman would not be awake at the early hour. “Megumi! Wake up, you old hag,” she yelled, and just as her fist was about to hit the door again, the doctor opened her door looking very perturbed.


“Kaoru,” Megumi said through gritted teeth as she tried to straighten her unruly hair, “may I ask why you are at my clinic at such an hour and beating my door to a bloody pulp? I do hope that someone is about to die.”


Kaoru’s courage almost faltered for a moment. There was a strong possibility that she was making a big deal of nothing and that Kenshin hadn’t expected her to be up so early. But even as she tried to convince herself of that logic her gut was telling her differently.


Megumi stared at the hesitant girl. Something was wrong, she could sense it. The question was what. The older woman needed to get the girl to talk. “Are you going to spend the entire morning just staring at me or spit out what you came to say?” she demanded.


Kaoru took a deep breath and looked up. “Have you seen Kenshin this morning?” she asked softly.


Megumi rolled her eyes. “You woke me up to ask if I knew where the wayward wanderer was. I don’ know which I’d prefer to do to you, hit you or laugh at your rashness and stupidity. Go home, Kaoru and do not bother me again for something so trivial,” she told her turning before she saw the crestfallen expression that crossed Kaoru’s face.


‘Maybe she is right’ Kaoru thought to herself as she turned away slowly and made her way back to her home. She could only hoped that she was wrong and there was nothing to worry about.


********************************************


Sano looked into the dojo, noticing that Jou-chan was nowhere in sight. “Hum, that’s strange,” he muttered, watching as Yahiko led the class in the simplest of movements for the Kamiya style. He turned around and headed to the kitchen hoping that Kenshin had lunch ready by now. When he entered the room he saw that Kenshin was nowhere to be found but Kaoru was sitting at the table staring into a cup of tea. The tall, ex-fighter-for-hire glided into the room and sat down in front of her. He frowned when she didn’t even acknowledge him. “What has you hair tied in knots, Jou-chan?” he asked, while shifting to a more comfortable position.


Kaoru looked up slowly, her eyes filled with hope for a moment before she realized that it was Sano and not Kenshin who had entered the room. She quickly covered her disappointment and smiled a huge fake grin. “Hi, Sano. I hadn’t noticed that you were here.”


“No shit,” he muttered, his eyes narrowing as he observed to scene around him. Yahiko teaching, Kaoru depressed, and no Kenshin anywhere to be found. His eyes widened with understanding. “Why did Kenshin have to leave this time and when will he be back?” he asked softly, knowing that his hunch was right when Kaoru’s smile faded and her head lowered again.


Kaoru took a shuddering breath and realized that her gut was right and that Kenshin left. “I don’t know why he left and I don’t think that he has any intention of returning,” she whispered into the quiet room as she closed her eyes uselessly to try to stop her tears from coming.


Sano looked at the distraught girl. He gave her a half-hearted smile as he sat up and reached across the table to put a hand on her shoulder. “Come on, Jou-chan, stop the dramatics. Kenshin always comes back.”


A shudder ran through her as a heart retching sob escaped her lips. “He . . .ahuh . . . left in . . . sniffle . . . middle of the night and . . . ahhuh . . . and didn’t even say goodbye,” she yelled, lifting her face to his as her anguish continued to make itself known. “Since when has the government been giving out missions in the middle of the night, Sanosuke? I would have known if someone came here last night to see him.”


“Jou-chan,” Sano started, putting his hands up in front of himself for safety, as she continued to glare at him through her tears, “Kenshin used to be a samurai. We only know what he wants us to know.”


Kaoru dropped her head to her hands as and tried to wipe away all of her tears, but it was pointless. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. “I drove Kenshin away. I disgusted him and he left to spare my feelings, to avoid any awkwardness between us,” she mumbled so lowly that Sano barely heard her.


“I highly doubt that. Hell if that was the reason he left then he would have hit the road the first time he tried your cooking or the first time you hit him.”


“This has nothing to do with my temper or my cooking, you over grown oaf,” she yelled out at him as she got to her knees and her hands slamming against the table. “Kenshin and I slept together last night and he realized that I wasn’t what he thought I would be or something along those lines and left. Now please just leave me alone,” and with that she ran out of the room as another wave of sobs started.


“Oh, fuck, Jou-chan,” Sano muttered as he rubbed his temple.


*******************************************


Yahiko looked at Kaoru’s closed bedroom door, wishing he had the nerve to enter the room and demand she leave it or the know how to fix whatever the hell it was that was bothering her. For the last two weeks she had not left the room for anything but to bathe and eat a few bites of rice here and there. He turned to Sanosuke, who hadn’t left but once since the first moment that Kaoru shut herself up in her bedroom. “Do you think she is okay?” he asked for the hundredth time that day.


Sanosuke sighed and sat down the food tray outside of her door. “Kaoru,” he said softly, “your dinner is outside your door. Eat what you want,” and he started heading back to the kitchen, not waiting for an answer, while motioning for the teen to follow him.


Yahiko wordlessly followed and seated himself at the table where his own tray of food sat. “What the hell is going on here, Sano? And where the fuck did Kenshin go? I know that you went to see Saitoh, so don’t treat me like a fucking kid anymore. I have been through enough of this shit to be considered more than a damn adult,” the younger male declared, crossing his arms and pouting.


Sano grinned at the childish antics from the “grown-up” Yahiko. “Alright, kid, I’ll tell you what’s going on but first you need to stop all that damn cussing. You’re gonna give Jou-chan a heart attack when she is back to normal.”


Yahiko snorted. “I’ve heard her say worse.”


Sano smirked. “Doesn’t mean jack shit with that girl. But anyways,” Sano started, all joking aside as a look of seriousness came across his face. “Kenshin didn’t leave for any assignment like he did with Shishio. Hell, Saitoh said that there was no major threat causing any trouble at all at the moment.”


“So, why did he leave without saying goodbye?” Yahiko interrupted.


Sano glared at the kid and started again. “I was getting to that. Anyway, you know how Kenshin and Kaoru feel about each other, right?”


Yahiko gave him a stupid look. “Well of course. They are head over heals for each other even if the two of them are oblivious to that fact.”


“Right well, something happened the night before Kenshin left and Kenshin decided to leave and now Jou-chan is completely devastated and heart broken,” Sano finished, as he picked up his bowl of soup.


Yahiko looked at the older man confused, completely ignoring his food. “What could have happened while they were alone? Do you think they had an argument or something . . .” he started before he suddenly realized what had happened. “No, Kenshin wouldn’t do that. He gave me a huge lecture about commitment and all that crap before I started seeing girls.”


Sano sighed and decided to lie. It wasn’t his place to tell the brat a damn thing. “I’m not saying he did or he didn’t. I am going to say that it is none of our damn business and do not mention it to Jou-chan. Got it, Yahiko. This is between the two of them.”


Yahiko sighed and picked up his food. “Okay, I get it,” he told him and started eating his dinner with his imagination running wild.


*******************************************


Kaoru groaned as she clutched her stomach and rolling to her side on her futon. The cramp gripped her abdomen hard and she didn’t think it was ever going to let go. Her body felt warm and her breast felt heavy and sore. Kaoru couldn’t help but wonder if a broken heart could cause someone to fall physically ill.


********************************************


It had been five week since Kenshin left her, since he broke her and Kaoru had finally decided to get on with her life. She would take what he did to her make herself stronger, she vowed it on her life. The young woman had finally started teaching her classes again, thrilled that her students had thrived under the tutelage of Yahiko.


While she still felt sick and extremely tired at the end of the day, Kaoru was almost back to her old self. She smiled as she made her way to the kitchen where Sano had cooked their evening meal. He and Yahiko had been so kind to her and so had Megumi after she had apologized that is.


Before she even reached the kitchen the smell of cooked rice reached her senses and nausea gripped her. Kaoru clasped her hands over her mouth and ran past Yahiko out the door. She fell into the yard and emptied her guts out.


Yahiko ran outside after her and stared at her with wide eyes. “Tanuki, are you okay?” he asked as he approached her slowly.
Kaoru took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair. “I think . . . I think I am getting sick,” she mumbled as another wave of nausea washed over her.


“I’ll go get Megumi,” Yahiko yelled and ran out of the yard.


******************************************


“So when did you start to feel nauseous?” Megumi asked, checking Kaoru’s forehead.


“Right before I lost what little food that was in my stomach,” Kaoru replied.


Megumi glared at the girl. “Yahiko also said that you have been tired for the last three weeks, right?”


“Yes.”


“Mmmmmm, interesting. Have you also been having any stomach craps, spotting, or soreness?”


Kaoru looked at Megumi suspiciously. “Yeah, actually the cramps started around the same time as the tiredness and then I had a little bit of blood spotting for about a week. And my breast have been very heavy and sore.”


Megumi watched the girl. “Lay down for a moment please?” she asked and then she gently began to feel of her stomach. “Umm, Kaoru,” she started cautiously, “did something happen between you and Kenshin before he left?”


Kaoru lifted up and stared at the older woman. “Maybe, why? What does that have to do with anything?”


Megumi sighed and rolled her eyes. “Kaoru, this has everything to do with this because you are pregnant."

There you go kittens. So how was it? Review and let me know, damnit!