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Sorry (Revised&Edited)	By : Chocho Category: Gravitation > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1425 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Sorry (Revised&Edited)
- 2-one
- 3-two
- 4-three
- 5-four
- 6-five
- 7-six
- 8-seven
- 9-eight
- 10-nine
- 11-ten
- 12-eleven
- 13-twelve
- 14-thirteen
- 15-fourteen
- 16-fifteen
- 17-epilogue
- 1
- 2
- 3
Sorry

Written by: chochowilliams

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or the characters from it.� I do not make any money from the writing of
this story.

Summary: AU.�
He ran from Shuichi once.� Will he
take this second chance or let his past keep him from true happiness?� Ryuichi/Shuichi, Shuichi/Eiri

Chapter summary:� Shuichi moves on.

Warning: AU, Angst, drama, romance, language,
m/m sexual content, Ryuichi/Shuichi, Shuichi/Eiri

Inserts:�
--

A/N:�
I tried to fix the mistakes.� If I
missed something let me know.

+---+---+---+

Chapter
1

(A Month
Later � Zepp Tokyo � Tokyo,
Japan)

Shuichi was
exhausted.

Someone had given
him a towel, which he was using to mop the thick rivers of sweat dripping from
his body, and someone else had given him a bottle of water, which he finished
in three large gulps.� He could not
remember whom.� Nor could he remember if
he thanked that person.� He was so
exhausted, both mentally and physically, that his mind and body were beginning
to shut down.� He could barely keep his
eyes open.� They felt so heavy and
gritty.� He yawned loudly and rubbed his
eyes.� Where was Hiro?� It was getting somewhat late and he wanted to
go home.

�That's a pretty big
yawn.� Are you tired?� came
a sudden child-like voice.

Shuichi dropped
his hand and blinked blurry eyes.� He
gasped and jumped to his feet, his eyes bugging out of his head.� �R-Ryuichi S-Sakuma,� he exclaimed in
astonishment.� Shuichi thought he had already left.� �W-what're you�?�

�You were pretty
good out there.�

Shuichi took a
step forward, and then cried out in sudden surprise when he tripped and lost
his balance.

As he tumbled forward,
his descent was halted by something warm and both soft and a little firm at the
same time.� Looking up, Shuichi met and
instantly lost himself in the deep, baby blue eyes of Ryuichi Sakuma, his idol
and the lead singer for his favorite rock band Sage.� Ryuichi's eyes held such intensity that it
sent Shuichi�s pulse racing.� Running his
tongue over dry, cracked lips, Shuichi gulped and dropped his gaze to those
lush, full lips hovering mere inches above his.�
He wondered what they would felt like against his.

Then in a blink of
an eye, the strong, hypnotic gaze was gone.�
�Are you okay?�

Blushing madly,
Shuichi nodded, turning away from the older man, embarrassed and mortified at
what he had been thinking.� �Y-yes, th-thank you,� he mumbled as Ryuichi helped him to his
feet.

�Why're you all red?� Ryuichi
asked innocently, cocking his head to the side like a puppy.

Shuichi�s face
grew warmer.

�Hey, Shu,� he
heard Hiro call out.� �We�re all
set.� The van�s packed and the guys are
waiting.�

Shuichi sighed
deeply while saying a brief prayer of thanks.�
He had never been more grateful than he was right now to be pulled away
from the man he thought of as a god.� The
singer turned towards his friend and smiled at the other man as he strode
towards him.

�Hey, where you
going?� Ryuichi asked curiously.

�We're just going
to go to my place and order pizza, or something,� Hiro told the older man.

�What?� Ryuichi cried in
shock.� �That's so booor~iiing!� You guys should be celebrating!� You just had your very first concert and you
blew them aaall away!�
You were waaay better than, uhm�� He scratched his head in confusion.� �Who were those guys again?�� Hiro
opened his mouth to answer that Bad Luck had opened up for another band, ASK,
also signed onto NG Productions, but Ryuichi shrugged it off.� �Anyway,�
he continued, �you guys should go out and celebrate!� Oh, I know!�
How about karaoke?� Or we can go
clubbing?� Oo!� Oo!�
There is this new all night caf� that just opened up.� We can go there!�

Hiro shook his
head.� �No, thanks,� he yawned.� �I'm beat.�
Maybe some other time?�

�Aw!�� Ryuichi pouted.� �You're such a party pooper.�

Hiro
chuckled.� �Why don't you go, though,
Shuichi?� he suggested, turning towards his friend.� For the passed month, Shuichi has been in a
depressed funk.� Even the excitement over
finally being signed onto a major record label and their first successful show
opening up for one of NG Production�s hottest groups had not been enough to
snap his best friend out of it.� It might
be a good thing for him to spend a little time with the rock god.

Shuichi�s eyes
widened.� �What?� he gasped.� �Me?�
B-but, Hiro!� What about-?�

Hiro patted his
friends shoulder.� �It's fine Shu.� Go.�
Have some fun.� You deserve it.� You were great tonight.�

Ryuichi nodded in
agreement.� �He's right, Shuichi.�

�B-but,� Shuichi
sputtered.� He could not explain it, but
Shuichi just did not want to be left alone with this man.

�Come on,� Ryuichi
prodded.� He grabbed Shuichi�s hand and pulled
the younger man behind him as he made for the backstage door of Zepp Tokyo.

�B-but,
Ryuichi!� Wait a minute!� Hiro?�

�Have fun, Shu,�
Hiro called after his friend.

Shuichi bit his
lip as Ryuichi Sakuma dragged him down the street.� He was not so sure about this.� He hoped he was not making a mistake

+---+---+

�Who were you
looking for?�

Shuichi blinked,
startled out his thoughts that were instantly forgotten by the sudden
question.� �What?�� He turned and looked at Ryuichi.� Gone
was the innocent childlike man that he had seen backstage at Zepp Tokyo.� In its place was the serious singer whom had
sung with him earlier on stage.� It was
somewhat unnerving.

�During the
concert.� You seemed somewhat
distracted.� Like you weren�t all there.�

Shuichi was still a little
unsettled by the split personality of his idol and the almost psychic-like
abilities he seemed to possess.� Startled by the sudden powerful insight, Shuichi was
shocked into silence.� He opened his
mouth, but closed it without saying anything.�
He tried again.� �I�I don't-�

�Shuichi,� Ryuichi
scolded.

It took half a
dozen tries, but Shuichi finally managed to say, �I�we broke up�last
month.�� He cleared his throat violently
and blinked away the sudden unsought of tears that stung his eyes.� �But I thought he�d�I mean, maybe�� Shuichi shook his head, sighing.� �Never mind,� he mumbled.

�You still love
him��

Shuichi bit his
lip and turned away from the penetrating stare of the older man.� Tears stun his eyes and his throat constricted
around a sob.� His chest hurt and his
heart ached.

��don't you?�

Fat tears rolled
freely down Shuichi�s face.� Sniffing, he
nodded.� He did not trust himself to
speak.� If he opened his mouth, he would
not be able to stop the sobs.� Out of the
corner of his eye, he saw Ryuichi stop.�
Shuichi did as well, but did not turn towards him.� He hugged his arms around himself and stared
at the ground.

Ryuichi reached
out and touched his young companion's shoulder.�
He gently turned him around and was saddened to see the boy crying.� He smiled softly.� �I like you,� he confessed.� �And I
showed up.�

Shuichi stood
frozen before Ryuichi Sakuma as the black haired man�s face drew closer to
his.� He gasped in shock and his vivid
lavender eyes widened in surprise as his music god pressed his lips against
his.

+---+---+

One Month Later

Ryuichi sneezed
violently into a tissue.� Dammit, he
thought miserably.� He knew he should
have stayed home.� He felt horrible.� His head was pounding.� It felt as if a jackhammer were drilling away
inside his skull.� Even that did not do
his headache justice.� It was more as if
someone were using his brain as a punching bag.�
And he ached all over.� Even his
aches had aches.� To top it all off, his
nose was not only stuffed, but running.�
He probably resembled Rudolph by now.

Wiping his nose,
he crumbled the tissue up and tossed it into the nearest garbage can.� Turning, he scanned the banquet hall that had
been rented out for the night by NG Productions for a party welcoming Bad Luck,
his boyfriend of one month�s band, to the record label as he took out his small
bottle of hand sanitizer.

�Hey, Ryu,� called
out a male voice.

Ryuichi turned
around and smiled as he watched a tall, thin male of Japanese descent stride
towards him.� �Hey!� Daisuke.�
What�s going on?� he greeted as he shoved the travel-sized bottle of
clear gel back inside his bag.

The men bowed
towards each other in greeting.

�Not much.�

�Hey, you haven�t
seen Shuichi have you?� Ryuichi asked.�
His boyfriend vanished the instant they had arrived.

�Shuichi?� Yeah, actually, I just saw him with Noriko
and her husband.�

�With Noriko?� Cool.�
Okay, thanks.�

�By the way,
Ryuichi, I have someone I want you to meet.��
Daisuke indicated a man standing behind and slightly to the left of him.

Immediately,
Ryuichi forgot about his head that felt as if it were about to explode and his
leaky, clogged up nose.� The collection
of noise surrounding him vanished until there was nothing but peaceful silence
into which was heard his fiercely and heavily beating heart.� It was so loud he was surprised that nobody
else could hear it.� The room around him
dimmed out of existence.

His breath hitched
and his eyes widened fractionally as a man a good several inches taller than
Daisuke stepped forward.� Trailing down
to tickle the collar of his black suit jacket, the man had jet-black hair
slickened back from his face.� There was
a lot of bulk to the man, but the black suit he wore fit him in such a way that
it was hard to tell what the bulk was from.�
Nor did Ryuichi much care.� Deep
chocolate brown eyes stared at him with such intensity that they made Ryuichi
felt a vague sense of uneasiness.

�Tatsuha,� Daisuke
said, turning towards the man, �this is Ryuichi Sakuma.�

Tatsuha stepped
forward with a look upon his face that made Ryuichi suddenly wish he had not
taken Shuichi�s advice and worn tight leather pants.� �I am sure glad I decided to come in my
brother�s place,� Tatsuha murmured as he scanned Ryuichi up and down causing
Ryuichi�s blush to deepen.� �It�s very
nice to meet you, Ryuichi,� he said sticking out his hand.� �I�m Tatsuha.�
Tatsuha Uesugi.� I�m a huge fan.�

Tatsuha�s deep
voice reverberated within Ryuichi�s chest.�
�Nice�to meet you, Tatsuha,� he whispered over his fiercely beating
heart.� A strange blush flushed hotly
across Ryuichi�s face.

+---+---+

Two Months Later

The sun was
shinning brightly and warmly.� The sky
was an endless sea of blue without even a hint of a cloud in sight.� The breeze was light and warm.� It was a beautiful, perfect day.� Humming happily, Shuichi strode down the
street, skirting around the heavy throng of people with ease as he made his way
home from the studio.� He felt
great.�

Bad Luck had
worked through yet another night on their upcoming debut album and surprisingly
accomplished quite a lot.� It might have
a lot to do with the fact that both of their managers had called in personal
days.� Daisuke was currently going
through a nasty divorce and K�s wife has apparently not been feeling too well
for quite some time now.� They believed
she might have cancer, but would not be sure until after all the tests came
in.�

Then their
producer left soon after, saying something about errands he had to do for
Tohma.�

It was no big
loss.� With both their managers and
producer gone, Shuichi and Hiro, along with the other members of Bad Luck- that
included Suguru, Kevin and Ethan- managed to accomplish more than they normally
would with them present.� Shuichi was satisfied with the way the album
was coming along.� But as terrific as he
was feeling about the album, Shuichi was completely exhausted and all he wanted
to do was get home to bed and Ryuichi.�
Smiling widely at the thought of his lover, he giggled happily, his eyes
sparkling.

It was
strange.� Just three months ago, he had
been another fan, watching Ryuichi's music videos, going to his concerts,
drooling over his posters and listening to his CD's and now here he was sharing
an apartment with the man.� He went from
worshipping his rock god from a distance to having his god worshipping him.

As he waited
patiently at the corner for the light to change, his gaze wondered and landed
on a very familiar sight.� Lowering his
sunglasses, he peered across the street and studied the small outdoor
caf�.� He smiled widely, recognizing the
place instantly.� Ryuichi took him there
for their first date, the night Bad Luck opened for ASK at Zepp Tokyo.� He blushed madly as he remembered how that
night ended.

The light changed
and the crowd surged forward, taking Shuichi along with it.� As he crossed the street, he caught sight of
a suspicious looking figure hidden in a baseball cap and dark sunglasses
walking out of the caf� and taking a seat in the shadows of the outdoor
patio.� Shuichi recognized him instantly.

�Ryu,� he
whispered.

He grinned
widely.� It seemed like forever since he
saw his boyfriend.� He called him early
yesterday evening, informing him that he planned to stay at the studio for as
long as they were doing well and then Ryuichi called to say �goodnight� before
going to bed, but it seemed like a lifetime ago.� Ryuichi was a welcome sight.

Shuichi wondered
briefly, what Ryuichi was doing at the cafe.

Deciding to
surprise his lover, Shuichi made his way stealthily towards the caf� when a
sleek, black motorcycle pulled up in front of the caf�, rumbling
obnoxiously.� Then silence descended upon
the neighborhood.�

The rider pocketed
the key, stood up and toed the kickstand.�
Shuichi watched mesmerized as the rider swung his long leg over the bike
and stood on the sidewalk.� The biker
grabbed his helmet with black gloved hands and lifted it off his head.� The man ran his fingers through his silky
black locks as he held his helmet under his arm with his other hand.�

When the man
turned around, Shuichi gasped.� A picture
of a man with hazel eyes golden like the sun that seemed to be looking straight
into his soul and artily disheveled sandy blond hair towering above those
around him with an almost snow white complexion and a smirk on his face that
made things low in his body tighten flashed through his mind.��

Shuichi studied
this man closely.� Despite the black
hair, dark eyes and tanner complexion, yes, this guy certainly did look like
him.� He wondered who he was.

Shuichi followed
the man with his eyes as he walked towards the caf�.� He saw Ryuichi stand up.� He had a wide, toothy grin on his face.

�Tatsuha,� his
boyfriend called out to the Eiri look alike.

The biker turned towards
the voice and grinned back, veering towards the older man.

Shuichi cocked his
head, his brows drawn in confusion.� Who
was this Tatsuha guy and how did he know Ryuichi?� Why had Ryuichi not said anything about
meeting someone for lunch?� Shuichi tried
telling himself that he had been stuck at the studio all night and that it was
possible that this Tatsuha person was an old friend and called Ryuichi up when
he realized that he was going to be in town.�

Shuichi watched as
his boyfriend stood up, still grinning, and met Tatsuha halfway.� They spoke softly.� Shuichi was too far away to hear what they
said.� When the two men embraced warmly,
his eyebrows shot into his hairline.�
Well that answers that question, he thought to himself.� Now he really wanted to know who this guy
was.

As he started
towards the caf�, he came to a sudden halt, his breath hitching with a
gasp.� He stood frozen.� The color drained from his face.� His mind went blank.� All he could do was stare
at the couple standing in the middle of the caf� suddenly and inexplicably
tongue wrestling.� He developed a case of
tunnel vision.� He was not aware of the
other pedestrians jostling him as they rushed by him.� He did not hear their shouts or curses or see
the dirty looks they threw him.� The only
thing Shuichi was aware of was his boyfriend in the arms of another man.

+---+---+

At the caf�, his
hands lightly caressed the other man�s arm as he reluctantly pulled away.� Ryuichi�s face was rosy.� His eyes sparkled.

�Sorry I'm late,�
his date apologized.

Ryuichi shook his
head.� �Don't worry about it, Tats.� I just got here myself,� he assured him with
a smile.

�What did you tell
Shuichi?�

�Nothing.� He's at the studio.� He has been there all night with his band
working on their album. �He'll go
straight home to bed when he finishes.�

�Good, so we
should be all right.�

Ryuichi nodded,
but then a frown marred his face.� He
glanced over his date's shoulder.� It
felt like he was being watched.� Not like
it was anything new.� He was a celebrity
after all, but he had to be extra careful nowadays.� Maybe agreeing to meet Tatsuha here had not
been a good idea.� If word got back to
Shu-

When Ryuichi's
gaze landed on a small man hidden behind a pair of dark shades and a baseball
cap, he froze and gasped.� His eyes grew
wide.

Tatsuha frowned
when he felt Ryuichi tense in his arms.�
�Ryu?� What's wrong?�� He glanced down at his lover and saw him
staring at something over his shoulder.�
The older singer looked like he had seen a ghost.� Turning around, he followed Ryuichi's
gaze.� �Well,� he said calmly as realized
they had been caught.� Tatsuha stepped
aside to watch the two singer's face-off.

Ryuichi stared
across the outdoor caf� at his boyfriend.�
Shuichi was watching him with a look of confusion, bewilderment and hurt
on his face.� For the first time in his
life, Ryuichi was at a loss for words.� A
surge of emotion rushed through him.� He
stepped forward and reached out towards the younger man.� �Shuichi,� he whispered.� �Shu, I-�

It was like being
awaken from a dream.� Shuichi shook his
head vigorously as fat tears snaked their way down his face.� This was not happening, he thought.� Shuichi kept shaking his head as he slowly
backed up.� He was trying to convince
himself that this was just a bad dream.�
It was a sick joke.

Ryuichi slipped
off his sunglasses and took another step forward.

Tatsuha just
watched everything with a neutral expression, though inside, he was screaming
for the pink haired brat to just go away.

One glance into
his boyfriend�s face was all Shuichi needed.�
All he had to do was look into those gorgeous deep baby blues and he
knew.� Something broke inside Shuichi.� Spinning around, he fled down the street,
vanishing among the thick cluster of people and sobbing uncontrollably with
tears coursing down his face.

Ryuichi let his
hand drop to his side.� He stared blankly
where Shuichi just moments before stood.�
A lone tear tickled down his face.

Frowning, Tatsuha
turned and studied his lover with a troubled expression on his face.

+---+---+

Three Weeks Later

With a key in
hand, a figure approached the apartment slowly.�
He wore a hat pulled low over his face.�
The collar of his jacket was flipped up.�
He stood before the door, trembling.�

It had taken
everything Ryuichi had to come face Shuichi today.� He had never been so scared in his entire
life.� He had no idea what he was going
to say or how Shuichi was going to react.�
Would Shuichi forgive him and give him a second chance or tell him to go
to hell?

Taking a deep
breath, Ryuichi gathered his courage and slipped the key into the lock.� The door unlocked with a click as the tumblers shifted.� He turned the doorknob and slowly pushed the
door open.� Pulling off his sunglasses,
he hooked them in his shirt and gulped as he stared into the darkened
apartment.� His pulse was racing.� Licking dry lips, he gulped and stepped over
the threshold.

He wrinkled his
nose in disgust as he walked into the apartment.� There was a horrendous smell in the air.� Guess they were not kidding when they said
Shuichi shut himself away, he thought.�

He gazed sadly
around the stale, cave-like environment.�
It looked as if all the shades and curtains in the apartment were
drawn.� All the lights were off and none of
the windows apparently were open if the stench was an indication.� Had he reduced Shuichi to this?

Pocketing his
house key, Ryuichi shut the door behind him and picked his way through the
living room towards the sliding glass doors that led out to the balcony.� He cursed as he tripped over, stepped on or
knocked into something with every step he took.

He searched among
the folds of the curtain blindly for the drawstring and when he found it yanked
it and the curtain flew open.� Ryuichi
hissed and cringed away from the bright afternoon sunlight as it streamed into
the living room, blinding him.� After his
eyes adjusted, Ryuichi unlocked the balcony doors and slid open the door
allowing the cool afternoon breeze to circulate through the apartment.� Much better, he thought turning around.

Blinking stupidly,
he stared at the sight before him.� �What
the bloody hell?� he gasped seconds later.�
The living room was in complete shambles.�

His gaze swept
over the destroyed house and landed on the photo of Shuichi and him that hung
on the wall above the stereo system.� He
took an unsteady breath and blinked back tears.

He took in what
left of the Buddhist altar.� Ryuichi
could picture Shuichi kneeling before the altar with tears coursing down his
face as he prayed to Buddha, wondering why he was made to suffer.� What had he done to deserve this?� Was he being punished for something in a
previous life?� Had he not been an
attentive lover?� Had he done something
to upset Ryuichi?� Why had the universe
turned its back on him?� Why was this
happening to him?� Why?

Tears blurred
Ryuichi�s vision.� No Shuichi, he
thought.� It is not you.

In his minds eye,
he watched as Shuichi jumped to his feet with an angst-filled scream.� His face was contorted in rage.� Angry tears coursed down his face as he
smashed the altar, sending the statue of Buddha flying across the room and into
the wall, where it smashed into hundreds of pieces all except for the head,
which was left untouched but for a small crack that appeared down his
cheek.� It was as if Buddha himself was
crying.� The incense holder and flower
vases clattered to the floor.� Water
rained down the wall and puddled to the floor.�
Ash snowed down, scattered as if blown by the wind.� The flowers were strewn before the balcony
doors, wilted and dead.� The runner laid
hanging off the edge of the table.� The
candles lay in the middle of the living room, their holders stood forlornly on
the table.

�Shuichi.�

Next, Shuichi
would turn towards the stereo system, which was the next nearest target.� The system had been expensive, but well worth
the investment.� Their CD collection that
included music from all over the world, as well as some hard to find albums,
was stacked in the curvy CD towers secured to the wall.� Or had been.�
Now the CDs were scattered all over the living room.� Their cases were smashed.� Ryuichi picked up one of the CD cases that
were still largely intact.� The compact
disk had a large crack down the middle.�
He set it on the one speaker that remained standing and was mostly
undamaged.� The rest of the system, like
the CDs, was strewn about the living room.�
He bet anything that it was broken.�
So much for that investment.

The stack of
various music and teen magazines, which they kept in clear plastic cubes near
the stereo system was next to take Shuichi's wrath.� The magazines had been torn to shreds.� The pages were sprinkled around the room like
confetti.� Ryuichi picked up what was
left of one of the magazines.� It looked
as if a dog had been gnawing on it.� He
dropped the magazine back on the floor and looked around.�

The knick-knacks
he had been collecting from all over the world had been swept off their perches
and onto the floor.� They had been
shattered to dust.

It looked as if
anything and everything he could get his hands on, Shuichi tossed, chucked,
smashed and destroyed in his all-consuming anger.� If this was what the living room looked like,
Ryuichi was afraid to see the rest of the apartment.

He swallowed over
a lump in his throat.� Tears pricked his
eyes.� �I'm so sorry, Shuichi.�

�What're you more upset about? �That
you've been cheating on him for two months or that you were caught?� asked Tatsuha in his head.

Ryuichi picked his
way through the mess and down the hall to the bedroom as he remembered his
reply, �I love him, Tatsuha.� I always
have and I always will.� I have to try to
fix things with him.�

�But�But what about me?� Us?�� Tatsuha had then asked.

Ryuichi stood
before the master suite.� He reached out
with a trembling hand, but jerked his hand back at the last minute and clenched
his hand into a fist.� He dropped his
hand to his side and stared at the closed door.�
Dropping his head forward, he squeezed his eyes shut.

---

Ryuichi sighed.� �Tatsuha��

�Don't my
feelings count for anything?� Tatsuha cried searching Ryuichi�s face
frantically.� He had a look of stricken
panic on his face.

�Of course they
do! �You know that!�

An inkling of hope appeared amongst the panic.� �Then-?�

Ryuichi smiled gently.�
�I love him.� I have since the moment I saw him and I want
to make things right with him.�

---

Taking a deep
breath, Ryuichi lifted his head and reached for the doorknob.� Turning the knob, he pushed open the door with
his index finger and stared into the darkened room.� His pulse was racing.� Licking his lips, he gulped and stepped over
the threshold.� He wrinkled his nose in
disgust as he stepped into the bedroom.�
There was that horrendous smell again.�
In the dim light, he took in the state of the bedroom.� From what he could see, it was in a similar
condition as the living room.�

The closet door
was wide open, its contents spewed all over the floor as if the closet itself
had been sick.�

The dresser and nightstand
drawers were hanging open, their contents scattered to the four winds as if a
bomb had gone off.� A few of the drawers
had been ripped out and were flung across the room.� There was a trail of miscellaneous junk in
their wake.�

The lamp and alarm
clock that used to sit on Shuichi�s nightstand were missing.� Ryuichi could see the red glow of the clock
rising up from behind the nightstand.� He
spotted the lamp in the far corner of the room.�
Other than the missing shade, it appeared to be unscathed.

The dresser top
had been wiped clean.� Deodorant, that
was missing their caps, hair gel and wax, cologne bottles that had miraculously
not broke, but had lost their tops, causing their contents to leak out (which
would explain the smell in the apartment), combs, brushes, jewelry and makeup
cases, pill bottles, whose contents were scattered all over the place like
droppings, and Shuichi�s contact lens equipment littered the room.� The mirror above the dresser had a
spider-webbed crack in the center of it.�
A crack snaked its way from the epicenter down to the bottom.

Ryuichi's eyes
widened with a gasp.� Did Shuichi do
that?� Was he hurt?�

He turned towards
the bed and spotted a lump buried underneath the blankets.� He wiped his sweating palms on his pants.� Swallowing over a lump in his throat, he took
deep, even breaths to try to calm his racing heart.� He clenched shaking hands and licked dry
lips.� Steeling himself, he shut the door
behind him and walked towards the bed, hoping that it was Shuichi and at the
same time praying that it was not.

---

�Please,
Ryuichi!� Tatsuha tried pleading one last time.�
His voice was thick.� His eyes
shimmered with unshed tears.� �Don't do
this!�

�Tatsuha, I
love him,� Ryuichi said again in a soft calm voice.

�But why?�

Ryuichi did not
have an answer to that.

Tatsuha grew enraged.�
�Dammit!� What about me?!�

�Tatsuha, you
know I love you.�

�Then why are
you going back to him?� Tatsuha shouted.

�I told you
why�Listen, Tatsuha.� Shuichi has nothing to do with you.� He has nothing to do�with us.�

Tatsuha�s eyes grew wide.�
��What?�

---

A Week Later

The picnic table
was hidden in the shade of a triumvirate of trees.� The lavatory was off to his right.� A little girl no more than five raced inside,
her mother several yards behind her.�
Behind him was the parking lot filled to capacity.� A car was circling, trying in vain to find a
spot.� Couples and families stretched out
on either side of him for as far as he could see.� They were picnicking and sun bathing.� Some were riding bikes; others were either on
roller skates, scooters or skateboards, while still others were on foot,
walking, running or speed walking along the bike path that followed the length
of the river.

The afternoon was
warm.� The sky was a deep, endless blue
with no clouds in sight.� The sun was
shinning brightly.� The breeze was light
and warm.� The waves crashed upon the
rocks.� Spray glistened in the sunlight,
but Shuichi was oblivious to it all.� He
sat hidden in the shadows staring blankly out over the water as the events from
a week ago replayed in his head.

---

�Get out.��

Ryuichi was startled out of his thoughts by Shuichi�s muffled voice that came from beneath the
layers of the blankets on the bed.�
�Shu-�

�Get.� Out.�
Now,� Shuichi ordered.� His voice was tight
and even.

�Please, Shuichi,� Ryuichi pleaded.� �Let me explain.�

With a low growl, Shuichi flung back the covers and sat
up.� He glared through the dim light at
his so-called boyfriend.� �What's there to explain?!� he yelled
angrily.� �You fucking cheated on me!�

A sharp pain jolted through Ryuichi�s heart.

�How could you
do this to me?� Shuichi sobbed.� A lone tear strayed
down his cheek.

Ryuichi�s chest
tightened.� There was so much pain in Shuichi�s eyes that Ryuichi found he had to look
away.

�We were
together three months, Ryuichi.� Three
months!�� Shuichi�s face was red with rage.� �I gave you everything!�

I�m not too
sure about that, Ryuichi thought as he thought back to that night three months
back.

Shuichi sharpened
his gaze at once.� �What?� he demanded.

Ryuichi
mentally cursed when he realized he said that a loud.� He shook his head vigorously.� �Nothing.�
Look, Shu-�

�Shut up!� Shuichi growled.�
�I do not want to hear a damn thing you have to say.� I thought I knew you.� I
though you loved me.� I trusted you!� I loved you and you played me like a fool!� I
don't ever want to see your
face again!�

Ryuichi�s heart ached.�
�I'm so sorry, Shuichi.� I
never meant to hurt you, you have to believe me.�

�Get.� Out.��
Shuichi�s voice had gone dangerously low.

�Shuichi, please! �I
do love you! �I've loved you since the moment I saw you.�

�Liar.�

Ryuichi�s eyes widened.�
He took a step further into the room.�
�No, Shuichi, please!�

�If you loved
me so goddamn much then how could you��
Shuichi�s voice dwindled
into tears.� �How could you�?� What
did I do?� How could you do this to
me?� To us?�

�Shuichi, you didn't do anything!� It was�I do not know how it happened, Shuichi.� I
have no excuses. �All I can say is that I was weak.�

That
was not the verb Shuichi would have chosen.

�I, I was�I
just�I couldn't�I know it was a mistake,� Ryuichi choked out.� �It�it was something that just happened!�

�'Just
happened'?� Bullshit!� You don't �just happen� to sleep with
someone!� You don't �just happen� to let
someone stick his tongue down your throat!�
You got involved with him willingly!�

�It was a
mistake, Shuichi.� You have to believe me!� I love you!�
I never meant for it to go this far!�
I, I was just lonely.� You were,
you were always working and�I don't know what came over me.� I just�Please, Shu!�
Tatsuha meant nothing!�
Nothing!� It was only a one-time
thing!� I, I called him that day to, to
break it off!� Please!� Shuichi!�

�Why should I
believe you after what you did to me?�

�God, Shuichi!� I'm
sorry!� It won't happen again,� Ryuichi sobbed.� �I
swear to God! �I never meant to hurt you!� Never!�

Shuichi�s face
softened.

�I swear to God
it'll never happen again!� Please, just,
just give me a second chance!�

��I don't know,
Ryuichi.� I don't think I can.� You
hurt me.�

The hand unclenched from Ryuichi�s heart just the littlest
bit.� �I know.� I know I screwed up,
screwed up big time!� I know that and I
know I lost your trust and respect and I do not expect you to ever forgive
me.� I wouldn't blame you if you hated me
and never wanted to see me again, but I�I-�

�I don't hate
you, Ryuichi,� Shuichi rejected softly.� �I never
could.� I love you.� That's why it hurts so much�I just��

�Give me a
second chance, I beg you.�

Shuichi watched
Ryuichi dejectedly as the other man searched his face frantically for some
sign.� ��I don't��

�Please!�

---

Shuichi dropped
his face in his hands.� He was so confused.

Suguru�s angry
snap echoed in his head, �You know
as well as I do that if he did it once, he will do it again.� I personally think you should dump his ass
and tell him to go to hell.�

Even Hiro had agreed with the young keyboardist.� �We're not talking about me.� This is about you.� What do you want to do?�

But that was the
whole problem.� What did he want to do?� He knew without a doubt that he loved
Ryuichi, despite what the man did.�
Ryuichi hurt him, betrayed him, his trust and respect.� He did not like to admit it, but Suguru was
right.� What proof did he have that
Ryuichi would not do it again?� Ryuichi had apologized a week ago for his poor
judgment and promised never to do something to hurt him again, but Shuichi was not sure if he believed him.

Part of Shuichi agreed with Suguru�s sentiment, but there was a little voice inside
his head that was telling him that everybody deserved a second chance, even a
no good two timing bastard like Ryuichi.�

No, Shuichi knew what he should do, but he was not sure
if it was what he wanted to do.�

Ryuichi�s pleading voice and his tear stained face popped into Shuichi�s head.� �I'm so sorry.� Please give me a second chance.� Please.�
It'll never happen again.�

Growling, Shuichi
scrubbed his hands over his face and then slammed his fists on the picnic
table.� He was not afraid to admit that
he was scared.� As much as he loved
Ryuichi and as much as he wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, he did
not want to go through this again.� It
hurt too much.

�Give me a second chance.�
Give me a chance to prove to you that I love you.� Please.�

With a sigh,
Shuichi stood up, stepped over the bench and shoving his hands in the pockets
of his jeans, made his way across the parking lot.� As he made his way slowly down the street, he
let his mind wander back over the past few months and by the time he reached
the apartment, he had come to a decision.

He thanked the
doorman who held the door open for him, made his way across the lobby to the
elevator, and pushed the up button.� As
he waited, he hugged his arms around himself and tried to settle the
butterflies in his stomach.� The elevator
dinged and seconds later slid open.�
Shuichi dropped his arms and stepped inside.� He pressed the button for his floor and as he
watched the elevator doors slide closed, his nervousness intensified.� He hoped he was making the right decision.

+---+---+

The door opened,
throwing light into the shadow-strewn hallway.�
Ryuichi stepped into the apartment and tossed his keys on the table next
to the front door as he shut the door behind him.� Toeing off his shoes, he shrugged out of his
jacket and opening the closet, hung it up.�
Taking off his hat, he tossed it on the top shelf.� Shutting the door, he turned and jumped with
a yelp.� �S-Shuichi,� he exclaimed in
surprise.� �Wh-what are�?��

Shuichi stepped
forward and smiled softly.� �Hello,
Ryuichi.�

Ryuichi opened his
mouth, and then closed it, at a loss of words.

�I�� Shuichi stared at his feet, gathering his
thoughts.� �I don't know if I'll ever be
able to forgive you,� he said quietly.

Ryuichi�s
shoulders sagged.� He nodded in
understanding.

�But��

Ryuichi�s ears
perked and he caught his breath, waiting in anticipation.

�I'm�I'm willing
to�to give you a second chance.�

�Really?�� Ryuichi felt his heart sore.

Shuichi raised his
head and stared into Ryuichi's eyes.�
�But you have to earn my trust back.�
You hurt me.� Bad.�

Ryuichi
nodded.� He had expected as much.� He would do everything in his power to win
back Shuichi�s trust and respect, to make up for what he did to his lover.� He stepped towards him, but Shuichi stepped
back and shook his head.� �Shuichi?� What�?�

�Don't make me
regret this, Ryuichi.� Don't make me
sorry I gave you this second chance.�

�You won't,�
Ryuichi assured the young singer.� He
stepped forward and embraced him tightly.�
�You won't regret this.�� He
planted a kiss on the younger man's newly golden blond head.� �I love you, Shuichi.� Thank you.�

Shuichi wrapped
his arms around Ryuichi's waist and stared at the closed front door with blank
olive green eyes, but remained silent.�
He hoped he was doing the right thing.

---TBC---

Preview: ��Things are not so perfect in paradise.
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