Love Me One Last Time

Part 2


Hikaru reached out for the taps, turning them so the water cut off abruptly, the sudden silence almost deafening. Hitomi remained leaning against the tiled wall, head resting back against it, eyes closed, a few water droplets slowly trickling over his features. He pressed a gentle kiss to Hitomi’s brow, lips brushing lightly against the wet hair plastered to it before he reluctantly stepped back, dropping his arms to his sides, no longer caging Hitomi.

Swiftly turning he grabbed a towel from the bench, reaching out to drape it over Hitomi’s head. Hitomi’s eyes finally opened as he looked at Hikaru almost in surprise.

Hikaru smiled at him. “Don’t catch a chill,” he said, turning to snag a towel for himself. He rubbed himself down briskly trying hard to not look at Hitomi. In the mirror he could glimpse Hitmoi reach up to rub the towel over his wet hair slowly, the ends falling forward to hide his face from view once more.

Now he’ll be sorry about it, Hikaru thought ruefully, tying the towel tightly around his waist, ignoring his own dripping hair. He could dry that later, just at the moment it was more important for him to get out and way from Hitomi. He didn’t think he could bear to see Hitmoi cry - not after that.

He turned away, intent on making his escape. His hand touched the door handle when he froze as two arms wrapped around him from behind, one curling over his left shoulder and stretching down his chest, the second circling his waist, hand resting flat on his stomach. He could feel Hitomi’s naked body pressed against his back, his skin cool yet warming quickly as it swiftly absorbed Hikaru’s body heat.

Hikaru sucked in his breath sharply, his stomach drawing in as Hitomi’s hand remained in contact with his flesh the entire time. His heartbeat increased, pounding in his chest. Calm, he tried to tell himself, keep calm.

“Hitomi?” he queried softly. What did Hitomi think he was doing?

“Taira,” Hitomi said, his voice muffled where his face was pressed against Hikaru’s back.

Hikaru couldn’t stop the shiver as he felt the puff of Hitomi’s breath over his skin. “Yeah?”

“I want to go to bed,” Hitomi finally said after a long pause.

Hikaru forced out a low chuckle. “Of course you do, you idiot,” he said. “It’s been a long day and you must be beat.” He reached up and lightly patted the hand that rested on his chest. “Hurry up and dry off and get too sleep.” Hikaru gently lifted both hands from his body and slipped from the grasp. “Don’t forget to dry your hair properly or you’ll catch a cold. You know what you’re like.”

Hikaru pushed the bathroom door open and stepped through but had only taken another few steps when his arm was grabbed and he was pulled around to face Hitomi.

Hitomi stood completely naked still, no sign of the towel Hikaru had given him. Water clung to him, making his entire body shimmer in the dim light in the bedroom. His efforts with the towel had obviously only gone as far as removing the worst of the moisture from his hair which no longer dripped, small bits spiking out in all directions in an endearing manner which made Hikaru’s heart flutter.

“Taira,” Hitomi repeated, staring at Hikaru, not releasing his arm.

Hikaru could feel himself responding beneath the towel that was still safely wrapped around his waist. He was thankful for that. The last thing he wanted at the moment was for Hitomi to see how turned on he was but it wasn’t like he could help it. Hitomi looked beautiful just at this moment. There was no other way to describe him.

Hikaru saw Hitomi take a deep breath, watched as his chest rose as he filled his lungs and then drop as he released the captured air. Another shiver ran down his spine and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. Every part of him; his body, his mind, his emotions were being tested to the fullest. His eyes opened and settled upon Hitomi again feeling as though he couldn’t bear to miss a single thing.

“Taira,” Hitomi said again, fingers tightening on Hikaru’s arm. “I….” He faltered for a moment and then Hikaru saw the look of resolution on his face. “I want to go to bed with you.”

The last words came out in a rush and caught Hikaru by surprise. They effectively froze him in place as Hitomi continued.

“I’m sorry for just…blurting that out,” Hitomi said, turning his face away although his grip on Hikaru’s arm didn’t loosen. Hikaru could see the flush on Hitomi’s face and knew it was from embarrassment. Hitomi would always easily get embarrassed by things like this.

“I…don’t want to pressure you,” Hitomi continued, looking back at Hikaru. “And I know you have someone special now and I feel bad about doing this. I really do. But…” Hikaru saw Hitomi swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing, eyes wide as he gazed at him still. “I…had to at least ask.”

Hikaru now felt the tremour in the hand that gripped his arm. This wasn’t easy for Hitomi. He had never been one to take the initiative even before when they could almost say they weren’t doing anything wrong. Now…well, there probably wasn’t anything right about what they were doing. They both had partners, albeit of different genders, what they had shared was far in the past now and a great many things had happened since then. They really shouldn’t be doing this; and Hitomi knew that. Yet still he stood there before Hikaru, refusing to let him go.

Hikaru felt his chest tighten again painfully. No matter what had happened in the past, no matter what happened after they had broken up, no matter what happened in the future he would always love Hitomi. He acknowledged that he would be able to love and care for others but Hitomi would always hold a special place in his heart. He would never be able to just forget him.

Finally acknowledging that fact and accepting the feelings that still stirred within him when with this man seemed to lift a heavy burden from his mind. He laughed internally. He was a real idiot sometimes. All these years he’d been doing his best to try and forget what he felt for Hitomi, trying to ignore the lingering touches that still resided in his heart. In trying to do that it had caused him a lot of pain and hardship when all the time, all he’d had to do was accept that he would always love Hitomi no matter what. This didn’t stop him from moving on but he would never be able to truly move on until he accepted that was just the way it was. He reached up and ran a hand through his wet hair, pushing it back from his face. He really was an idiot, but none of this was really the issue just at the moment.

He focused his attention back on Hitomi who was looking at him with that intense gaze still. He took a deep breath to steady himself and respond to Hitomi’s question.

“I’m flattered you’ve asked,” Hikaru said, smiling gently. He laid one hand over the top of Hitomi’s. “But don’t you think we should just leave it here?” He squeezed Hitomi’s hand lightly. “Neither of us want to have anything in the morning to regret, do we?”

The two of them stood there for another heartbeat just looking at each other, then Hikaru felt Hitomi’s hand loosen and slip from beneath his, falling away back to Hitomi’s side.

“Of course,” Hitomi said in a small voice, turning around completely so Hikaru was presented with his back. “Just forget about it. I’m sorry I put you in such a position.”

Hikaru saw Hitomi’s arms come up to wrap around his chest, shoulders hunching, head dropping. “I’m just being my usual selfish self,” Hitomi continued. “I’m just thinking of myself and what I want and not anyone else’s feelings, especially yours, Taira. I’ve always treated you so badly like that. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”

Hikaru heard the break in Hitomi’s voice at those last words and he couldn’t prevent his feet from carrying him across the intervening distance, nor could he stop his arms from wrapping around Hitomi from behind, pulling him in tightly within his embrace. Standing close like this he could feel the shaking in Hitomi’s body, felt the splash of hot tears falling on his crossed arms over Hitomi’s chest.

Hikaru rested his chin on Hitomi’s shoulder and sighed. “Shhh,” he soothed, squeezing a little tighter.

“I’m sorry,” Hitomi whispered. “I keep doing everything wrong and hurting you.”

Hikaru felt Hitomi’s hands wrap around his forearm as he continued. “I’ve never wanted to hurt you. You were always there for me in everything, no matter what. You were my rock; steady, always present. I always felt safe and secure with you.”

“Even when I used to jump you at the start?” Hikaru said softly with a thread of humour in his voice.

“Even then,” Hitomi replied in a quiet voice. “I mean, sure it made me confused and all but I never felt threatened. You never made me feel bad really.”

“I’m glad,” Hikaru murmured.

Hitomi’s hands tightened their grip. “But I’ve always made you feel bad. I made you feel bad for trying anything right from the start, and I took my confusion and fears out on you. I kept running away from you and then to escape my confusion about Ryuu instead I ran to you. I was never sincere and honest with you about my feelings and what I was thinking. I just kept using you as an escape and an excuse to try and forget what I didn’t want to think about, and to find a way to try and feel better. I’m the worst person there is!”

Hitomi’s shoulders hunched more and Hikaru squeezed harder. “Hey,” he said softly, “you weren’t that bad, you know. It’s not like I was exactly a saint through all this. I mean I was the one going all out to push you over to the other side and be with a guy when you didn’t want to. And like I said, I knew about how you felt for Ryuu and I still went out of my way to take you away from him.”

“But I wasn’t even with him,” Hitomi replied automatically.

Hikaru chuckled, a little bitterly. “Maybe not in body, but in mind and heart you were. I knew that. That’s why I had that fight with him way back. I was just so angry that time because I knew that you liked him and I wanted to hurt him or…I don’t know. Maybe I wanted him to finally decide if he was going to go for you or not so I knew if I really had a chance.” Hikaru chuckled again, this time more naturally. “Hey, we were all idiot brats back then. It’s not like you had a monopoly on stupidity at that time.”

“That might have been an excuse back then but look what I’m doing now,” Hitomi whispered. “I’m still ignoring your feelings and what you want and trying to force what I want on you. I’m still doing exactly the same thing and hurting you as I always have.”

Hitomi suddenly shrugged Hikaru off so hard he staggered back as Hitomi crossed the room and stood by the large window. “I hate myself like this!” he cried as he slammed clenched fists against the glass pane.

“Hey!” Hikaru shouted as he ran across to grab one of Hitomi’s raised hands again just as he was about to bring it slamming against the glass once more. “Stop that, you idiot!”

Hitomi refused to look at him, remaining where he was. Hikaru couldn’t help but have a quick thought about what a sight it would be for someone looking from the other side of the window; Hitomi standing completely naked, a full frontal view as he stood there with arms raised above his head, legs parted. Yeah, what a sight that would be. He felt the stirring in his loins again and quickly banished that vision.

Hikaru knew he had to try and snap Hitomi out of his spiral of self-hate. He had always been very sensitive and yes, in some ways Hitomi was selfish but no more than any of them. They had all acted back then for their own needs and wants. Even now Hikaru had given in to his own desires in the shower. He was no different. Hitomi shouldn’t be so hard on himself for just being human.

Hikaru pulled Hitomi around, pushing him back against the window, still keeping a grip on one arm. Hitomi refused to look at him and Hikaru just shook his head, reaching out with his other hand and gripping Hitomi’s chin.

“Stop it,” he chided, lifting Hitomi’s face so he was forced to look at him. At least there was a touch of anger in that gaze, even if the anger was directed against himself. “You haven’t done anything wrong and you need to stop thinking like that. Okay, you’ve made mistakes – haven’t we all? Do you think I haven’t? Do you think Ryuu hasn’t? You’re no different to anyone else, Hitomi. You’re gonna make mistakes, you’re gonna hurt people without meaning to but what you need to remember is that you also have made people very happy just by being you. There’s nothing wrong with you – either back then or now.”

Hikaru carefully released Hitomi’s hand letting it drop to his side although he still kept a grip on Hitomi’s chin. “So quit with the self-destructiveness will you? It really doesn’t suit you. However if it were Ryuu he could pull it off with that brooding, melancholy look he used to have.”

Hikaru saw the small twitch of Hitomi’s lips and knew it had almost been a smile and he felt a sense of relief. If Hitomi could still laugh everything was okay.

“Are you done?” he asked, staring at Hitomi.

Hitomi held his gaze and then dropped it as he let out a deep sigh. “I’m really acting like an idiot tonight, aren’t I?”

“Well, let’s just say that I haven’t seen this side of you before – at least not to this extent,” Hikaru said.

“So you’re saying that I have acted like an idiot before?”

Hikaru laughed as he released his friend. “Of course you have,” he replied. “Though most people would probably say that I’ve been more of an idiot than you – at least my sister would agree with that!”

“You’re trying to make me forget what I said, aren’t you?” Hitomi said quietly.

“Huh? Forget what?”

Hitomi looked up at him with a serious face. “That I want to sleep with you.”

“Oh.”

In fact Hikaru had thought that Hitomi would have forgotten that bit, or at least been too embarrassed now to bring it up again. That’s how Hitomi of old would have been when he realized he’d just blurted out something that he hadn’t really wanted to say. Now, looking into that steady gaze, Hikaru felt a sinking feeling beginning. He knew that look. Even the Hitomi of old would have it at times; when it was something that he was determined to do.

“You don’t have to,” Hitomi said evenly. “I’m not trying to force you into this. I just had to say it. I…wanted to be honest for once.”

“Wasn’t….the shower enough?” Hikaru asked, feeling his face heat a little both with embarrassment and remembered desire.

“I want more,” was Hitomi’s simple answer. Now he did turn his head away. “I…just want to feel someone hold me. It’s not the same as being with a woman where I’m doing the holding. It’s a different feeling from what I remember when I was with you. It’s a feeling of being completely encompassed by the essence of someone else, of feeling everything about them in that moment. Of feeling safe and secure and loved and on fire and wanting to give everything back to that person. I…guess it might be what a woman feels when she’s making love too - I don’t know. I just remember that that is what I felt when with you and I…wanted to feel it again. Somehow it always made me feel better. I don’t mean just in feeling satisfied sexually, it made me feel…complete again. Like it cleared all my worries away, even just for a moment but that feeling of peace was something wonderful.”

As Hitomi spoke Hikaru couldn’t stop the hardening of his erection. He too could remember. He could remember those nights they had shared together, of holding Hitomi’s tightly, feeling their sweat slick skin sliding against each other. He could remember the feel of Hitomi’s hand as it ran over his body, lighting internal fires with every touch. He could remember the sound of Hitomi’s heavy breathing, the quick pants as he drew closer to climax, the way he would cry out as he came, back arching, head thrown back. Yeah, he could remember every little thing from those times.

Hikaru took a firmer grip on his emotions, trying to control his breathing which had automatically sped up with his thoughts. He couldn’t let himself get carried away.

“Forget it,” Hitomi suddenly said, turning away again to face out the window, leaning forward so his head was resting against the glass. “Forget what I’ve said. I had no right to ask you.”

Hikaru looked at Hitomi’s back, seeing the tension in the shoulders. He had a sudden thought and took a small step to the side and sure enough, in the reflection of the window he could see the tears running down Hitomi’s face. He closed his eyes as a small stab of pain ran through him. He could never bear to see Hitomi cry; that was his greatest weakness. He opened his eyes to see Hitomi still in the same position. If he stepped forward to comfort him…..

Hikaru stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Hitomi’s waist, holding him tightly. He felt Hitomi’s hands drop to grasp his arms, holding him in place.

“I’m afraid,” Hikaru whispered against Hitomi’s neck.

“Of what?” was Hitomi’s soft reply.

“That you will regret this in the morning. And I’ll never see you again,” Hikaru answered honestly.

Hitomi didn’t answer immediately and Hikaru was just getting ready to step away once more, believing that Hitomi had truly changed his mind now when he felt the other turn in his arms. He lifted his head from the shoulder as Hitomi looked over his shoulder at him.

“I promise I won’t,” Hitomi said, his expression dead serious. “I can give you my word on that. I swear I won’t do that.”

Hikaru lifted one hand and cupped the side of Hitomi’s face, fingers sliding over the ear and into the soft freshly dried hair.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered as he leant forward and their lips touched in a long, deep kiss.

“Mmm,” was Hitomi’s only response. Hikaru held the kiss, sliding his tongue past Hitomi’s parted lips, running it over Hitomi’s teeth before twining around his tongue. He lipped at Hitomi’s upper lip, then bottom, teasingly trailing the tip of his tongue over each in a manner that he knew Hitomi found ticklish before recapturing his mouth fully in a full kiss.

His hands now began to move over Hitomi’s body, slowly sliding from his face, down his neck to his chest, the other sliding over his stomach. He leant forward and Hitomi was pressed back against the glass of the window.

“Cold,” Hitomi murmured, and Hikaru felt the brief shiver that ran through his body.

“You’ll warm up soon,” he promised, holding Hitomi in place. Hitomi tried to turn around to face him but Hikaru leant further, instead forcing him to turn to face the window full on. Both of Hitomi’s hands came up to rest on the glass, his head turned to one side so he could still kiss Hikaru.

Hikaru broke the kiss to nuzzle into Hitomi’s neck, teeth lightly nipping at the flesh making Hitomi moan, then slowly running his tongue over the skin. He could see Hitomi’s reflection in the glass before them and he couldn’t resist pulling Hitomi back a step so he could gaze upon the full image of Hitomi’s nakedness. He felt himself immediately spring to full hardness, his cock throbbing. He watched as he moved one hand lower, sliding over Hitomi’s chest to reach his nipple. He began to play with it, rubbing it lightly with his index finger, before taking it between thumb and finger and rolling it, bringing it to full hardness. He repeated the same to the other nipple even as Hitomi moaned again and shuddered. He gazed upon the reflection before him as Hitomi’s cock began to lift as it hardened. That sight was the most erotic thing he could recall ever having seen and he felt his body flush hotly.

Hikaru lifted Hitomi’s hair from the back of his neck, nipping lightly at the exposed skin, feeling Hitomi shake in his embrace. He slowly began to kiss down his spine, each vertebrae lovingly caressed with his lips, even dip laved well, as he continued on his journey. As he knelt his hands ran down Hitomi’s sides, fingers bumping over ribs showing through taut skin, sliding over the jutting hip bones to cup the rounded buttocks. He slid his tongue down the crack, hands separating the flesh to allow him better access. The tip of his tongue found the entrance and he flicked at it, feeling Hitomi jump and cry out.

“Argh!!” Hitomi’s body shook under Hikaru’s hands, he could feel the tremours running down to his legs. Hikaru plunged his tongue into Hitomi’s depths, sliding it in deeply, hearing the catch in Hitomi’s breathing as he began to slide it in and out quickly.

“Taira!” Hitomi called out and Hikaru felt his own cock twitch hard and a splash of moisture against his leg as precum dripped. It always nearly made him come when he heart Hitomi call out his name like that.

He slid his tongue out one last time and continued onwards, bowing down to place kisses upon Hitomi’s ankle and foot. Hitomi had great feet, or so Hikaru thought. They weren’t delicate like a girl’s but were elegant and neat, not ungainly and large like most guys. Hikaru had always like Hitomi’s feet. He began to kiss up Hitomi’s leg, his hand running up the inside of the other, his lips running over the rounded calf, tongue sliding into the dips behind the knee, then moistly trailing up the thigh back to the buttocks. He repeated the pattern with the other leg, listening to the soft moans Hitomi made. His erection was throbbing hard, painfully so and he could hear himself panting with restraint. As he stretched up towards Hitomi’s shoulders Hikaru stood, never letting his lips leave Hitomi’s body, circling back around his neck, suckling for a moment on the earlobe as Hitomi moaned.

Returning to his original starting position Hikaru gazed upon the reflection of Hitomi in the glass; legs parted, arms still outstretched and palms flat against the glass, full erection standing upright. He slid one hand lower again, over Hitomi’s flat stomach, threading fingers through the dark pubic hair to encircle the base of the swollen cock. Hitomi cried out and arched back against him at this contact but Hikaru held him in place. He began to stroke Hitomi, fingers sliding up the length, reaching the tip, pushing the foreskin down to reveal the liquid drops gathering in the slit. He wiped his fingers across that moisture, collecting it and sliding it downwards again. He kept repeating this, each time squeezing just a little harder, moving a little faster.

Hitomi’s breathing was coming fast now, as were the soft moans falling from his lips. His hips began to thrust in time to Hikaru’s motions, pushing his cock into that firm grip, then his buttocks pushing back to rub against Hikaru’s hard erection hidden beneath the towel.

Perhaps he’ll just get Hitomi off with a hand job again, Hikaru thought. That would be sure to tire him out fully this time. It didn’t have to go any further. That would probably be for the best.

He increased his motion and began to feel the changes in Hitomi’s body and hear it in his breathing. It wouldn’t be too much longer he was sure.

“No,” Hitomi suddenly said and he dropped his arms to grip Hikaru’s hands, ceasing their motion. He turned his head to look at Hikaru over his shoulder, sweat beading brow and upper lip. “I don’t want it just like this. You too.”

“It’s okay,” Hikaru said, dropping a light kiss on Hitomi’s lips. He tried to move his hands but Hitomi refused to release him.

“No,” Hitomi said stubbornly and turned around forcing Hikaru to release him unless he intended to inflict hurt.

Hitomi reached out then cupped Hikaru’s hidden erection with one hand, kneading it gently through the towel. Hikaru grunted in response, unable to stop the moan of pleasure that followed. He felt the towel loosen and fall to the floor finally revealing him fully to Hitomi’s view. The feel of Hitomi’s hand on his cock was pure bliss and his hips automatically thrust forward into that grip.

“You’ve been holding out for a long time,” Hitomi said, head tilted slightly to one side. “Why didn’t you say so?”

“It’s…fine,” Hikaru tried to say again.

“Sure,” Hitomi replied, obviously not believing him.

Suddenly Hitomi dropped to his knees, startling Hikaru. “Hey!” he began, “what…ugh!” All objections ceased as Hitomi’s warm lips wrapped around the tip of his cock and he was swallowed into that moist cavern.

“Ahhh!” he cried out, hips pushing forward as one hand dropped down to tangle fingers in Hitomi’s hair. “Hitomi!”

He didn’t want to harm Hitomi but he couldn’t stop himself from thrusting a few times, fucking Hitomi’s mouth. Hitomi gave no indication of discomfort, accepting his thrusts, letting his cock slide deeply into his mouth. He could feel Hitomi’s tongue curl around his girth, pressing hard as it ran up the underside of his cock to flick against that sensitive spot near the head. He moaned again, both hands now resting on Hitomi’s head.

Hikaru felt himself begin to draw closer to the end. It had been a while since he’d been with someone this experienced. Yuki was still only just learning about how to pleasure a man so it had been a long time since Hikaru had felt this kind of intensity.

Just as suddenly Hitomi stopped and Hikaru let out a moan of disappointment.

“What...?” He looked down at where Hitomi still knelt looking up at him, watching as he licked his lips.

“Let’s move to the bed,” Hitomi said, getting to his feet. He reached out and took Hikaru’s hand leading him.

He really means to, Hikaru thought. He really means to go through with this – all the way.

Hitomi released Hikaru’s hand as he knelt on the bed and Hikaru’s cock throbbed again as he was presented with a view of Hitomi’s naked arse.

“Have you got any lube?” Hitomi asked, turning to sit on the covers.

“Uhm,” Hikaru wondered if he should just say ‘no’ and then that would be the end of it. Or would Hitomi be just as upset to know he did have some?

“That means you do,” Hitomi said with a trace of laughter in his voice. “You’re always prepared, Taira. I was pretty certain you would.”

“Uh, yeah,” Hikaru admitted. He made his way over to his bag and rummaged in his toiletries case, fingers closing around the small tube he always kept there. He felt a rustle against his fingers and asked, “What about condoms?”

“I’ve got some of those,” was Hitomi’s surprising answer.

Hikaru looked over to see his friend leaning over the bed to reach his own bag and soon produce a box. He couldn’t help the way his eyebrows rose.

“What?” Hitomi said, looking a little abashed. “It’s normal for guys to carry condoms.”

“Sure,” Hikaru agreed as he walked back to the bed, placing the tube on the bedstand. “But isn’t a box a little…excessive?” He sat on the bed and swung his legs up to lay down.

Hitomi swatted him with the pillow before tossing the box onto his chest. “It was just easier to throw the box in than be bothering with pulling a few out whenever I pack. I thought this way I would be sure not forget them.”

“Didn’t want to have to go without, eh?” Hikaru smirked, putting the box beside the tube. “You could always go bareback.”

“That’s not really a smart thing to do with a girl,” Hitomi answered.

Hikaru paused and then tried to keep his voice even as he spoke. “Yeah, you’re right about that. Don’t forget it’s not the wisest thing to do with a guy either.”

“I know,” Hitomi said. “But we were always careful. I’ve not been with any other guys.”

Hikaru was silent for a moment. “You know I have, don’t you?” he finally said not looking at Hitomi.

“Well, yeah. I met your boyfriend remember?”

“No,” Hikaru rolled over to face Hitomi. “I mean others before him.”

“Oh.”

Hikaru could see the way Hitomi’s brow puckered as he processed this information. He’d had a feeling that Hitomi had forgotten that just as he had been with other partners so Hikaru would have also, and most likely they would include other men. He wasn’t sure how Hitomi was going to react to this revelation.

“Yeah, I see,” Hitomi finally said. He gnawed at a thumbnail in an old habit that Hikaru knew well. “I hadn’t really thought of that you know.”

Hikaru reached out and gently extracted the abused digit from Hitomi’s lips. “I didn’t think you had. Does it bother you that much?”

Hitomi turned to look down at him thoughtfully, obviously seriously thinking about it. “It…does a little,” he finally replied. “But it’s not like I’ve been celibate either. I guess it all seemed just a little bit…distant before. I mean, this kid is the first boyfriend I’ve met. I only remember you ever mentioning one other person, someone who went overseas, and that was ages ago and even then you never said if you were actually going out with him.”

Hikaru felt his hand squeezed as Hitomi continued. “So I guess what I’m trying to say that yeah, I hadn’t exactly thought about it till now, but it doesn’t make any difference to me.”

“I’m glad,” Hikaru said, raising their joined hands to place a kiss on the back of Hitomi’s. He sat up again and reached out to cup the back of Hitomi’s neck drawing him forward so they could kiss.

Hitomi’s arms came up and wrapped around Hikaru’s back, pressing him closer. The kiss continued, even as Hikaru turned and pressed Hitomi backwards to lay on the bed. He draped his long body over Hitomi’s, feeling the touch of bare flesh against his own and his desires immediately fanned into a fierce fire once more. Hitomi moaned into his mouth, squirming beneath him, exciting him further.

Hikaru knew that neither of them were likely to last too long. There was too much pent up emotion and restrained desire for this to be a leisurely romp. Yet still he didn’t want this to be just a hurried tumble. This would be their last time together of that he was absolutely certain as he had never been before. He wanted to be able to remember this night for the rest of his life as a beautiful moment they had shared, one that they both had wanted and had both enjoyed to its fullest.

His hands roamed over Hitomi’s, just as his were doing the same. Every touch made him shiver with need. Their hard cocks, trapped between their bodies, slid slickly against each other, heightening their pleasure. Hitomi gripped one of his hands and moved it around to touch his arse, obviously giving him permission to continue to the next stage.

Hikaru reached out and fumbled for a moment as he searched for what he was seeking. Finally his fingers wrapped around the tube and he deftly undid the lid. He squeezed, not even looking at how much was coming out and then dropped the tube to the bed. He rubbed his fingers together, liberally coating them and then moved them back to Hitomi’s body. He raised Hitomi’s leg, bending at the knee so his foot was flat on the bed, opening him up, then ran his fingers upwards, seeking that small entrance. He felt the dip in the flesh and knew he had found it, even without the brief jerk that Hitomi gave.

Hikaru didn’t try and plunge his finger directly in. Instead he gently rubbed that area, circling it, massaging the taut flesh and feeling it begin to soften. The lube made the area slick to the touch. Slowly he pushed forward with one finger, just to the first knuckle. He felt Hitomi tense up and then immediately relax.

“More,” he heard Hitomi whisper in his ear.

That was all the encouragement he needed. It wasn’t like Hitomi needed lots of preparation, not after their earlier interlude in the shower but still Hikaru wanted to make certain there was no chance of hurting him. He pushed the finger in further, sliding it in and out a few times, pressing against the side of the entrance. He then added a second finger, feeling the flesh having to stretch to accommodate the intrusion. He pumped his hand within Hitomi at the same time as he lipped at one nipple, feeling the moans Hitomi gave reverberate in the chest his lips were pressed against. Hitomi began to move beneath him, writhing in time with his motions, hips lifting from the bed, silently begging for more.

Hikaru felt himself begin to shake, his testicles tightening. He pulled back from Hitomi, withdrawing his hand and sat back, breathing hard.

“What…” Hitomi’s eyes fluttered open as he gazed up at Hikaru. “What…” He tried to sit up, concern in his eyes, when Hikaru reassured him by smiling shakily and resting a hand on his stomach.

“’S okay,” he mumbled, reaching over to grab the box of condoms. He reached in and pulled the string out, ripping two off. The rest fell to the top of the bed to lie forgotten beside the lube.

Hikaru ripped one open with his teeth, pulling it out and reaching towards Hitomi. He paused, meeting Hitomi’s eyes, silently asking the question. Hitomi gave a short nod with a crooked smile which Hikaru mirrored. He gripped Hitomi’s erection firmly yet gently and began to roll the condom on. Hitomi shuddered and dropped back on the bed and for a moment Hikaru thought he had come but then realized that he hadn’t, although it must have been a near thing from all the signs. He made certain the condom was on fully and then took out the second. As he positioned it over the tip of his own dripping erection he felt the bed rock and a hand cover his.

“Let me,” Hitomi said, sitting up. Hikaru removed his hands and held himself rigid, watching as Hitomi’s long fingers deftly rolled the condom downwards. He let out the breath he’d been holding only once Hitomi had finished and leant in to press a kiss against his lips.

“How do you want to do it?” Hikaru asked between kisses. He felt Hitomi pause and they exchanged a few more kisses before he replied.

“I want to be able to see you,” he finally said.

Hikaru thought for a moment as they kissed some more and then he pressed Hitomi back so he lay down once more. He lifted himself up, resting on his elbows on either side of Hitomi. “Tell me if it hurts, okay?”

Hitomi nodded. “I will.”

Hikaru reached out and grabbed a pillow. “Lift up your hips,” he instructed, leaning further back so he didn’t impede Hitomi doing so. As Hitomi held that position which happened to be extremely erotic with hips and jutting erection pushed upwards, he pushed the pillow underneath. When Hitomi lowered himself back down the extra support kept his hips and buttocks raised which Hikaru hoped would take some of the strain from Hitomi’s back and help him relax further.

“Are you ready?” he asked, shuffling forward between Hitomi’s parted knees. He positioned his cock at the exposed entrance, one hand gently separating the cheeks. This position automatically made Hitomi’s testicles fall away so Hikaru didn’t have to worry about that.

Hitomi met his gaze and nodded. “Yeah,” he replied with a warm smile. Hikaru smiled back feeling warm all over.

He pushed forward, feeling the resistance trying to force him back. He pushed a little harder and felt the resistance lessen as he began to slide inside. He heard Hitomi grunt and paused.

“Hey, you alright?” he asked, reaching out to touch the side of Hitomi’s face.

Hitomi opened his eyes. “Yeah. Keep going.”

Hikaru pushed in further, all the time watching Hitomi’s face and he stopped again when he saw the wince of pain.

“Let’s leave it,” he said, starting to lean back to withdraw. He didn’t want to cause Hitomi pain and this was bound to do so.

“No!” Hitomi said forcefully, startling Hikaru. He felt Hitomi wrap his legs around his back, heels digging into the small of his back.

“You’re being pig-headed,” Hikaru tried to reason with him. “It’s gonna hurt you too much. It’s not like you’re used to it anymore!”

“I don’t care!” Hitomi stated and pulled with his legs, throwing Hikaru slightly off balance so he began to fall forward, pushing his cock deeper inside Hitomi.

“You…!” Hikaru began and then gasped as he felt the resistance fade completely and the head of his cock slid fully within.

“Ah!” Hitomi cried out, head thrown back, hands reaching out and clenching on Hikaru’s forearms.

“You fool,” Hikaru said softly, reaching out to gently stroke Hitomi’s brow, feeling the sweat there. He could hear the other’s ragged breathing as Hitomi tried to breath through the pain. “Just accept that you can’t do this.”

“I can,” Hitomi said between gritted teeth. “I want to.”

Hikaru just shook his head silently at his friend’s stubbornness. He felt Hitomi give a deep breath, slowing letting it out as his eyes finally opened. “Move,” he demanded.

Hikaru opened his mouth to argue further but then closed it, realizing the futility. When Hitomi was in this sort of mood there wasn’t anything he could say to dissuade him. So he slowly pushed a little deeper and then pulled back before pushing in again. He didn’t try and force his full length in as much as a part of him wanted to. He knew that would be far too much and it wasn’t as though neither of them would gain pleasure they way they were doing it now. It was just as stimulating.

“More,” Hitomi demanded again.

“Alright, alright,” Hikaru chuckled, begin to move his hips faster. The lube made his motion smooth and he leant over Hitomi further so he could kiss him. “Relax,” he murmured.

He felt Hitomi obey, could feel his feet drop back to the bed and the tension release from his legs, immediately relaxing his buttock muscles. He slid in more easily this time and Hitomi moaned in pleasure. “Yesss,” he hissed, breath whistling between his lips. He jerked and let out a cry, hips thrusting upwards. “There!”

Even without Hitomi’s direction Hikaru would have known that spot. He was more than familiar with Hitomi’s body and every nuance about it, especially when having sex. He concentrated on what he was doing, aiming for that one area that would send Hitomi hurtling over the precipice. He felt the sweat trickled down his spine, the tingling beginning in his own body as his cock continued to be stimulated as it slid within this tight passage that squeezed it sometimes rhythmically. Hitomi’s breathing was uneven, punctuated with gasps and moans, his hands clenching alternately on Hikaru’s arms or the sheets beneath him. His hips continued to thrust up against Hikaru’s motions, begging, demanding more which Hikaru obligingly gave.

Hikaru leant back, gripping and lifting Hitomi’s legs higher to allow him better access. He knew it was the right thing to do by the change of tone in Hitomi’s cries. He thrust faster, blinking sweat away from his eyes, panting as he continued to plunge within Hitomi’s heated depths.

“Hi..ka..ru!” Hitomi gasped out, having difficulty in getting the words out against Hikaru’s forceful thrusts. “Together!”

As Hikaru watched he saw Hitomi reached down to grip his own cock, beginning to pump it frantically, obviously not caring about the condom encasing it and that it may hurt him. Hikaru thrust faster, angling to continuously hit that spot, listening to Hitomi’s gasps of pleasure as he felt his testicles begin to draw up. He felt Hitomi suddenly tense up completely beneath him, every muscle contracting as he arched up high, mouth open as a long drawn out cry ripped from his throat. Hikaru felt Hitomi’s channel squeeze his cock almost painfully, spasms rippling along its length as he threw his head back, hips pushing in one last time and his whole body shuddered as he hit his climax and released. His body jerked again, and then a second time before he collapsed forward, catching himself on his elbows to take the majority of his weight before coming to rest on top of Hitomi.

Hikaru lay there, breathing heavily. He was so hot, his whole body feeling like it was on fire.

“Heavy,” he heard a muffled voice say.

“Sorry,” he muttered and awkwardly pulled up again. He reached down holding the condom in place with one hand as he pushed the flesh of Hitomi’s buttocks apart again and eased himself out. It was almost tighter trying to come out than it had been to go in but finally he was fully withdrawn, with Hitomi giving a small grunt of pain.

“Stay there,” Hikaru instructed, swinging around and standing. He walked on unsteady legs to the bathroom. He stripped off the condom, tying it neatly before wrapping it in some tissues and dropping it in the bin. He then pulled further tissues out before returning to the bed.

“Lie still,” he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. He reached out and gently wiped Hitomi’s red and swollen entrance, noting the small spots of redness. “Sorry,” he said. “Looks like I was too rough.”

“You were fine,” Hitomi said in a rough voice. He cleared his throat as he rolled to one side and reached down to remove the pillow from under him. He sat up and carefully removed the condom, taking the proffered tissues from Hikaru to do the last of the clean up. Hikaru took the sodden mess from him, heading back to the bathroom to dispose of it. When he returned Hitomi was lying back once more.

“You should get under the covers,” Hikaru said with a smile. “You’ll catch cold.”

“I’m too hot,” Hitomi replied, eyes still closed.

“You baby,” Hikaru tugged at the bed covers, pulling one side back then reached out and grabbed Hitomi by shoulder and hip and pulled him into the freshly turned down space.

“Hey! You…” Hitomi’s last words were muffled as his face was buried in a pillow.

“There,” Hikaru said, chuckling as he flipped the covers back over Hitomi who had now managed to roll back onto his side.

“Where are you going?” Hitomi asked as Hikaru turned to the other bed in the room.

“To sleep, of course. I’m completely beat now.” He grinned at Hitomi. “I’m not as young as I used to be you know. It really takes it out of me nowadays.”

“You don’t need to sleep over there.” Hitomi said.

“Thought you said you were too hot,” Hikaru replied, turning the covers down.

“Please,” Hitomi said quietly. “Won’t you stay with me the night?”

Hikaru looked back to where Hitomi lay. “You sure about that?” he asked.

“I don’t think I have to worry about you jumping me,” Hitomi commented. “You said it yourself that you’re too old for that.”

“Tease,” Hikaru said, tossing a pillow at Hitomi who easily swatted it away.

“Come on then,” Hitomi said, pulling the covers back and sliding across leaving an open space.

“I’m more worried about how you’re gonna feel when you wake up in the morning and I’m in bed with you.”

“Stop worrying, Taira,” Hitomi said, pouting. “Just hurry up and come to bed. I want to get some sleep tonight.”

“Okay, okay,” Hikaru said, stepping across and slipping under the covers. The fact that they were both still completely naked didn’t seem to be concerning Hitomi so Hikaru wasn’t going to point it out.

Hitomi dropped his head to rest on Hikaru’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he said softly.

“What for?”

“For always looking out for me and helping me. Thanks for being so a good friend.”

As much as Hitomi’s words gave him pleasure, Hikaru also couldn’t stop the small stab of pain at being called just a friend. Ah, well, what did he expect? He knew that this wouldn’t change anything, and still being Hitomi’s friend was worth a great deal to him.

“Always,” he whispered back although he could tell by the soft breathing that Hitomi had already fallen asleep.

When Hikaru awoke the next morning the sun was already streaming into the room through the window. That’s right; they hadn’t pulled the curtains across last night. The place in the bed beside him was empty, the covers thrown back.

He sat up and saw a silhouette against the window, recognizing it as Hitomi, dressed only in a pair of jeans with bare torso, standing there and looking out across the city. The morning sunlight formed a golden halo around his entire body making him look like some sort of angelic being. He was so beautiful it made Hikaru’s heart hurt.

Hitomi turned. “’Bout time you woke up,” he said, sounding perfectly normal. “I was just about to tip some water on you to see if that would work.”

“You hardly need to go that far,” Hikaru said, scrubbing a hand through his hair, wincing as his fingers caught in some knots. “What time is it?”

“Almost time to leave otherwise we’ll miss our train.”

“Why didn’t you say so sooner?!” Hikaru exclaimed, throwing the covers back and making a beeline for the bathroom.

He could hear Hitomi’s laughter following him. “It’s more fun to watch you panic!”

He stuck his head back through the door to glare at his friend. “You’ll keep,” he threatened. “I’ll get you back one day.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hitomi waved the threat aside. “Hurry up and get ready or we won’t have time to get breakfast.”

“Alright, I’m coming,” Hikaru paused then before disappearing back into the bathroom. “Hey.”

“Hmm?” Hitomi replied.

“Are we still okay?” Hikaru held his breath as he waited for Hitomi’s answer, shoulders tense with dread. A soft touch to his shoulder made him start and turn his head to see Hitomi had drawn near.

“We’re fine,” Hitomi answered with a warm smile. He squeezed Hikaru’s shoulders. “I promised didn’t I?”

Hikaru let out the breath and returned the smile. He felt so relieved. He didn’t know what he would have done if his worst fears had come to fruition and Hitomi had rejected him completely.

“That’s good,” he said turning away again.

“Hikaru,” Hitomi’s voice made him pause and look back again. Hitomi was still smiling at him, a soft, gentle smile although tinged with a touch of melancholy. “Thank you. For everything.”

He nodded, with a smile. “Anytime, pal,” and entered the shower.

When they left here and boarded the train they would return to their normal lives. Nothing would change, everything would be back to normal for them both and tonight would be but just a memory from the past.


~End~