These Ruby Feathered Boots Were Made For Stompin�

These Ruby Feathered Boots Were Made For Stompin’

Flora Winters

Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa and I’m not making any money here either.

Summary: Kurogane wakes up somewhere over the rainbow and that is when the insanity really begins to come into play. This story will contain boy love, language, and hilarious violence.

Chapter One

Kurogane just looked at Princess Tomoyo as if the frilly pink bitch had lost her damn mind. He took careful notice at the way she was smiling and decided right then and there that he was indeed correct. She was mad as a hatter. “You mean to tell me,” he seethed like a pissed off dragon that was about to scorch someone’s ass off. “That I have to stomp in these ridiculous looking boots in order to get anywhere in this place!”

“That is correct, dear,” she said with an enthusiastic nod of her head which made her dark curls dance like black fire in the golden sunlight. “If you so much as think of walking in them, you’ll get a blister.”

“That does it!” Kurogane snapped and dropped Quartz Mokona to the ground so he could try and pull the damn things off his feet. “I’m going to take these off right now!”

Princess Tomoya giggled, waving her wand around. “That would be quite impossible, dear.”

Kurogane soon discovered that she was correct and just glared crimson red daggers of doom at the crazy fairy or whatever the hell she was so supposed to be. He stomped his foot in anger. This was so fucking stupid! Oh, he wanted to hit something. “So, what the hell is at the end of this Rainbow Brick Road? Will there be some stupid Rainbow City that needs to be firebombed on sight or something?”

“The powerful witch,” Quartz said, looking up at him. “She is the greatest witch in the world.”

“Be quite,” Kurogane hissed under his breath. “I wasn’t speaking to you.”

“You really don’t want to make me mad,” Quartz Mokona whispered. “You really wouldn’t like me if I get angry.”

“I don’t like you now!” He snapped. “So shut your fat marshmallow face up!”

Quartz Mokona growled, bounced forward, and chomped down on his knee. Kurogane yelled at the top of his lungs, kicking his leg back and forth, trying to throw the damn thing off him. “GET OFF, YOU LITTLE BITCH!”

Princess Tomoyo bashed him over the head with her wand yet again. It made a loud thud noise, and she shook her head. “You two are going to have to get along if you want to make it to the witch. Only she has the power to send you home, and make you normal again, Quartz.”

Quartz unhinged his jaws from around Kurogane’s throbbing kneecap and hit the ground with a soft thump on his feet. He looked up at her. “I don’t want to go with this jerk. He’s mean, loud, and really annoying. Plus, he looks like an idiot in those boots. I don’t want to be seen with him.”

“I’LL STICK YOU ON THE END OF THIS BITCH’S WAND AND ROAST YOU LIKE A MARSHMALLOW!” Kurogane roared like the twister that had sent him to this crazy ass world. “AND THEN I’LL EAT YOUR DAMN FACE!”

Princess Tomoyo whacked him again. “That is quite enough,” she said, waving her wand at him once more with an air of threat. “You two are now off to meet your destinies. And remember, my dear. Just follow the Rainbow Brick Road.”

Kurogane jumped back when she exploded into a shower of shimmering pink bubbles. He rolled his eyes. Thank the gods she was gone. Now he could finally figure out how the hell to get out of this fucked up world in peace. Something was obviously very wrong. Mokona wasn’t Mokona and Fai wasn’t Fai. What the hell was going on? Was all of this some kind of spell? Was this like that one world where they were all inside of a giant computer world?

“Who are you?” Kurogane asked Quartz.

“Why should I tell you?” He asked, turning away from him. “I don’t have to tell you anything, you big jerk.”

“What about him?” Kurogane asked, pointing to the dead guy under the truck. “Are we just going to leave him like that?”

Quartz’s ears stuck up. “The people of this little village will take care of him. He was an even bigger asshole than you. I’m glad that metal thing fell out of the sky and smashed him flat.”

Kurogane looked over at the truck. He wondered if it would still run. That would mean he wouldn’t have to stomp around in these stupid looking boots. His face fell when the hood shot up and steam filled the air. “So,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “You’re not really a Mokona are you?”

“No, I’m not,” Quartz said. “I was the ruler of a fabulous city until Ashura of the East corrupted my lover, Fai of the West.”

“WHAT?” Kurogane yelled.

“Fai got mad at me for trying to save the witch from his wicked hostile takeover thingy,” he said, wagging his ears. “So, I’m basically stuck in this stupid form until he kisses me.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Kurogane said, and then gawked. “KISSES YOU!”

Quartz hopped back. “Yes.”

“Excuse me,” a little blue Mokona said, tying a rope around the dead guy’s ankles. “But, shouldn’t you get to stompin’ young man?”

“Where the hell am I stompin’ to, you little fuzzball?” Kurogane asked.

“Are you hard of hearing?” The little blue Mokona asked. “You’re going to see the great and powerful witch. She knows all. She sees you when you’re sleeping. She knows when you’re awake. She knows if you’ve been bad or good…”

“I GET THE POINT!” He bellowed.

“Well, anyway,” the little mokona said. “Only she has the power to keep the wicked Fai of the West in line.”

Quartz rolled his eyes. “Fai never stays in line. He scares people into moving it or he simply jumps over it.”

“Right,” Kurogane said. “So, this woman can send me back to where my friends are, right?”

“Woman?” The little Mokona asked in disdain. “You mind your tongue, young man. The great and powerful witch sees all and knows all. She could and would ruin what little reputation you have in a heartbeat.”

“And judging from the looks of this jerk,” Quartz said, as the other little Mokona’s began to drag the body out from under the truck. “He doesn’t have much of a reputation to ruin.”

Kurogane looked over to see where the Rainbow Brick Road began and sighed with annoyance. “This is such crap.”

“I totally agree with you, big guy,” Quartz groaned. “But, let’s go see the witch.”

“Follow the Rainbow Brick Road,” another little Mokona’s high pitched voice sang, followed by another. “And somebody light the grill.”

Kurogane growled and began to stomp his way out of Rosequartz with Quartz hopping right along beside him. This was such shit.

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Kurogane was stomping down the Rainbow Brick Road with Quartz jumping around his ankles. He was really getting tired of listening to the creampuff happily singing, “Follow the Rainbow Brick Road.”

“Would you stop with the singing already?” He asked, stomping to a sudden halt, glaring down at him. “You’re starting to get on my last nerve.”

“You look so stupid,” Quartz snickered.

“I really am going to kill you,” Kurogane sighed.

“Excuse me tall guy who is being really mean to that cute little creampuff,” a familiar voice called, making him look around. “I’m over here! Hey! Scary guy! Yeah, you with the spiky hair and the crazy looking eyes!”

Kurogane looked up from Quartz to see Princess Sakura hanging on a wooden cross in the middle of a strange looking field. Was that corn? Wow, it was corn. He just stood there with his mouth hanging wide open in shock. The girl was tied to a cross. Why in the hell was she tied to a cross?

“What are you doing up there?” He asked.

“That is a very good question,” she said with a ponderous look on her lost face. “I honestly don’t have a clue.”

“She’s still lost as ever,” he grumbled to himself, stomping through the patch to get to her with Quartz bouncing on the back of his heels. “Who put you up there?” He asked as he came upon her.

“I don’t remember that either,” she said, looking down at him. “But damn do I have to piss like a racehorse.”

Quartz giggled and Kurogane was struck speechless. This sure as hell wasn’t the Princess Sakura he had come to know. She would never speak in such a manner. That was so…un-princess like. He stomped behind the princess to undo the straps that were binding her to find that she was just standing there, holding onto the wood. She wasn’t even tied to the damn thing. Now he realized what Quartz had been giggling at.

“You’re not even tied to this thing!” He yelled. “Just let go!”

“Are you crazy?” She yelled right back, holding on even tighter. “I’ll fall!”

“That’s the point!” He snarled right back. “The ground will catch you, I promise!”

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“Oh, my Wickedness,” a monkey in a monkey suit said, bowing to Fai who was giggling like a demon possessed little schoolgirl. He was watching everything from his big glowing crystal ball in utter delight. “What is your bidding, Wicked One?”

Fai burst into a fit of giggles when that little girl fell off her cross, landing flat on her face with a stunned yelp. He pushed rewind on his remote just so he could watch it again and again. He so loved instant replay.

“My Wickedness, what are your orders?” The monkey in the monkey suit asked again.

“Silence!” Fai snapped like a bolt of lightning. “Can’t you see I’m watching my pretty?”

“Forgive my insolence, oh Creamy Smooth One,” the monkey in the monkey suit begged, prostrating himself before his master. “But, what bidding do you have that needs to be bid out?”

“Just go stand somewhere until I need you,” Fai hissed, waving his pale hand in an annoyed manner, and snorted when that tall fool tried to help that idiot little girl up, only for the both of them to go down. That little girl’s face landed right between the tall man’s legs. Oh, the look in those crimson eyes was hilarious. The poor guy yelped and jumped a mile in the air. That told him all he needed to know. This guy was obviously not into women. He could use another handsome face in his harem. He broke the ears off a chocolate Mokona and sucked on it. “I so saw that one coming.”

He was still pissed off about what had happened to his Ashura. He had been the hottest looking guy in the place and now he was dead. Oh, he was angry. He wanted those boots. He needed those boots. They would be his.

“My Wickedness?” The monkey in the monkey suit asked in horror.

“My pretty,” Fai cooed, as he cuddled the image of Quartz in the big crystal ball.

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Quartz was rolling around on his back, giggling madly. Kurogane was fuming like a great burning furnace that was about to explode. He was seriously pissed off. He should have continued stomping and pretended not to have heard shit.

“You might want to help her up now before she suffocates,” Quartz told him. “She looks like she’s trying to breathe dirt.”

“Princess Sakura!” He snapped. “GET UP!” Normally, he would never have spoken to her so harshly. He was just that pissed off.

“Uh-uh,” she moaned from her place on the ground.

“I don’t have time for this crap,” he growled, pulling on her sash. “I have to get to see that damn witch.”

“The witch?” She asked, suddenly looking up at him with dirt smudged on her nose and cheeks. “Do you think she could give me my brains back?”

“Of course,” he lied. He didn’t have a clue. All he wanted to do was get the hell out of here, or wake the fuck up. Hell, he just didn’t want to be here.

“Awesome,” Princess Sakura said, jumping to her feet. “That’s a beautiful little marshmallow you have there.”

“I am beautiful,” Quartz grinned with sharp razor teeth. “Aren’t I, Kuro-puu?”

“Gods,” Kurogane prayed as he stomped away from them. “Give me strength.”

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“YES!” Fai bellowed, nearly giving the poor monkey in the monkey suit a heart-attack. “You are so beautiful it should be a sin, my pretty!” He whirled around in a hiss of expensive black silk and smiled evilly at his stylish minion. “You know my will,” he said, promptly clapping his icy pale hands. “Flap to it, Snuffles.”

“Right away, Wicked One,” Snuffles said, and quickly flew from the room in a blur of speed.

Fai cackled evilly. “I’ll soon have my sexy dead Ashura’s boots,” he said while pulling a jeweled mirror out of thin air so he could admire his wicked good looks. “And most of all, I’ll possess you once more as well, my pretty.”

He kissed his gorgeous reflection and began to dance around his room in graceful circles. His laughter echoed like silver bells, freezing everything that could hear him on the spot.

TBC…

Please review and tell me what you think.

Flora.