DOA

CHAPTER 2

JUST GO AWAY

Just when Matt was about to break down the bathroom door, the handle turned, revealing a very wet Mello, dressed as usual. Aside from his hair hanging wet and dripping in his eyes, there wasn't much different about his appearance. In fact, anyone but the redhead would have taken a few steps back at seeing the expression on his face. His blue eyes were narrowed to slits; his hand was firmly on the butt of his gun that peeked over his waistband. But Matt knew better, Mello was just trying to scare him away so he could be left alone to hurt himself some more.

It was obvious, not just from the look on his face, or the weaponry, or even the redness in his eyes. There was plenty of bare skin visible in the outfit, and it was all scrubbed red and raw, bleeding in some places. There were long lines that might have looked like fingernail marks to the casual observer, but Matt knew better. He'd been wondering where the brillo pads were going, when Mello's scars had first started to heal. He'd even tried to lie to himself when he saw one of them on the shower floor, until one night, when he just couldn't wait for his prissy friend to finish showering. The redhead had needed to piss for almost an hour, and was in no mood to wait. It wouldn’t matter if he just walked in, they’d seen it all before. The shower curtain was just sheer enough to see the outline of the blond, and Matt had tried to start a casual conversation while he finished up. Just a simple ‘hey, what's up’, but when no response was given, he stood by the shower, listening to the teenager trying desperately to conceal the shakiness of his voice, to cover up the sniffling.

The redhead couldn't stand it anymore, and had thrown the shower curtain back. It wasn't like they'd never seen each other naked before. Mello did nothing to cover the important parts, only lowering his head and concealing the scarred side of his face with the strands of soaked blond hair. Almost every inch of the older boy had been scrubbed raw, rivers of blood drained down the shower. Matt had climbed in with him, completely clothed, picking the blond up and carrying him to bed.

Matt had been the one to dig his friend out of the wreckage after the explosion, to help him heal. He had not felt the need to be sick then, had handled it like a professional. But something about Mello doing this to himself was much, much worse. Matt had felt the bile rising in his throat, and wanted to look away, to walk out, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Even though Mello knew that his friend was not attracted to him, had never been and never would be, leaving would make him feel that much worse. The redhead knew the cause of this, knew that his friend wasn’t vain but valued his good looks as an asset. Just another tool to get what he needed.

At first, Mello wouldn't look at him, would scream and hit him when he tried to bandage some of the worst of it. Then he lay there and cried, mourning the loss of what he felt was all that he had left. He’d never been smart enough but he had one thing that Near didn’t. He was beautiful, and no one could deny it. Matt had spent months trying to reassure him that he was still pretty, no, prettier. More dangerous looking, but still gorgeous. He'd almost had him convinced until now.

"Damn it, Mello. He's not worth it." Matt held a hand out, but Mello brushed past him on the way to the kitchen. "I dumped it all." He called out but the blond ignored him as he rummaged through the cupboards. After several minutes, he produced a nearly empty bottle of vodka and a single shot glass. There was only about a quarter of the fifth left but it would suit its purpose. He poured the shot, sliding it across the table. Then he began to drink straight from the bottle. "I suppose that's for me, huh? Thanks. I don't think this is the best time though."

"It hurts." While Mello was healing, lying in bed, trying to brave through the pain and fear that he might die, Matt had acquired some painkillers to help, but quickly switched to liquor. For some reason, the pills made Mello sick, and he seemed to enjoy the booze better. It relaxed him, made him a little happier, and helped him sleep. So it had been allowed, until the redhead noticed a pattern. Even when the blond was beginning to heal, he would drink excessively. Those were the nights that the dreams were most vivid too, the older boy calling out a name he wouldn't even let Matt speak most days. So the redhead had done what any good friend would do, and gotten rid of all of it. Or so he'd thought. Sneaky little fuck.

"I know mate. But you didn't have to do that to yourself." Mello raised an eyebrow. "Oh. This isn’t what hurts, is it?" Matt had come to sit by his friend, to inspect the damage. Mello shook his head. The redhead pointed to his chest, his heart, and the blond turned away. "This hurts, huh? I'm sorry, but I just don't understand what you see in him. All he does is hurt you. And he's not even worth it. You could have so much better."

"Just go, please…just leave." Mello took another drink, swallowing the liquor as if it were water, as if it cooled and healed. His hand came up to rest on his scarred cheek, and his fingers were shaking as they traced the raised flesh. Matt would never ask, but he knew that Mello could barely feel any sensation there, and wondered what that was like.

"Sorry, but no. It's bad enough that I haven't tried to disarm you yet. I don't think I'll be leaving you alone any time soon." What had been left of the bottle of vodka had been drained, and Mello threw the empty at the wall, barely missing his friend's head. When it shattered, it was Mello that flinched. Then his head fell onto the table, and his arms went over it, shielding him as he began to sob. "He's not worth it."

"No! No he's not! He's a bastard and I hate him and I hope he fucking rots in that place!" Finally, Matt was allowed to offer what little comfort he could. He pulled a chair next to the blond, wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"You're a shit liar Mello. Always have been. It's the only thing about you that doesn't remind me of L." If possible, the blonde’s sobs grew louder. "Sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned him. And you can hit me if you want, but that's actually the only thing that Near has that you don't. He's an excellent liar. I was almost convinced."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" The redhead sighed. Was he really about to say something good about Near? Was he really about to encourage this...fucked up relationship?

"He was lying. As usual, the little brat was lying. He didn't mean a word of what he said." Mello was trying to free himself from the younger man's arms, but Matt held on tighter. "You know how I feel about this whole thing, so I wouldn't be saying it if it weren't the truth. I don't want you to ever see him again, and I hope you can give up on this, you really do deserve better. But that little shit does care for you, in his own twisted way. And no one could look at you and not think you're fucking gorgeous. I never thought Near was going to get fucked when we were kids, he was pretty much asexual as far as I could tell. He's not gay, or straight, that's for sure. He never looked at anyone until you. You're so goddamned pretty you turned him... err, Mello-sexual. Hell, if I could get past the fact that you have a dick, you might convince me. And when have I looked at another dude?" The redhead thought his friend might have laughed at this, but he couldn't be sure. The blond still wouldn't raise his head from the table. "You really are two halves of Lawliet's whole. You both think the other is at fault for the big break up, and neither one of you wants to be wrong. Of course, you are right, and I'm not just saying that 'cause you're my best friend and I hate that freak. What he said was awful, and you shouldn't forgive him. You should just forget all about him. But you can't, can you?"

Mello finally lifted his head up, shaking it. "I'm so fucking stupid. He's everything that's wrong with my life, and I..."

"Yeah, you are stupid. You love him, I know. But he's a bigger idiot for not letting go of his pride. Hell, I think he might be more insecure than you, which is pretty much incredible." Mello slapped Matt, and the redhead felt a little hope when it actually stung. If the blond was feeling violent, then things weren't so bad. If Matt had to be the punching bag, so be it. He preferred that over seeing his hero so weakened. Aside from the whole attraction to a midget asshole, the blond was everything Matt looked up to and admired, what kept him from losing all faith in humanity. If there were people like Mello in the world, it was worth sticking around. Matt left the table, going to get a new bar of chocolate from the refrigerator. "Here, you should eat something, soak up some of that liquor. Chilled to perfection, I'd say."

Mello always chilled his treats, it made them snap better. The blond quickly unwrapped the bar, testing the temperature with his tongue before snapping off a piece. He was smiling. "Why can't I just fuck you? You obviously love me, despite this." The blond gestured to his scars, as he leaned in closer to his friend. Shit. Maybe he wasn't handling the drink as well as Matt had thought.

"Hey now, that's just the vodka talking. I explained that already. I think you're hot as hell, and if you didn't have a cock, I'd be all over that. But, you're kinda a boy, and you're like my brother dude. I do love you though." After Mello and Near had split, Matt had considered it, initiated a more than friendly touch once or twice, hoping to help him forget his former flame, though he still couldn't help but see the blond as a brother, as a friend that he respected much more than the string of girlfriends he’d had. And Mello wasn't really into it, if it wasn't with his rival. It was twisted and sick, in Matt's opinion, and Mello deserved much better, but he just couldn't seem to get over it.

"I love you too." Mello sat back, patted his friend's thigh. "I'm sorry. That was really fucking stupid of me. Maybe he's right; maybe I am just a slut. Oh, god, I can't believe I even thought about doing that!" The younger boy raised an eyebrow, brought a hand to his chest in mock offense. "Not that there's anything wrong with you. But, you know." The blond sighed, banged his forehead against the table. "How do I get rid of it? I don't want it anymore." Mello was peering at Matt behind the hand over his face. He managed to look about five years old again, even dressed as he was, even with the scars. It was...cute.

They sat in silence, the blond desperately trying to come up with a way to rid himself of his affections, to just forget Near. Matt watched, for once unable to even make a joke, crack a smile. This was serious. There was just no way that his friend was getting around it, and it was going to end up with him dead. Near was all the blond spoke about. When he was awake, it was how much he hated him, what a fucking prick he was, how he'd just love to get alone with him long enough to put a bullet between his already lifeless eyes. But asleep, it was another story entirely. Matt had had to admit that at first it was strange sharing a bed, even after having done so for so many years, but it was nice not to be alone.

It wasn't like Matt didn't have dates still, at least at first, until Mello decided that the redhead's time was his and his alone, and the younger boy stopped trying to sneak them in. For once, it was comforting to have a warm body to snuggle up to, which the redhead blamed totally on the affectionate older boy. It was nice to have his best friend back, until the first night he'd woken up because he'd thought something was wrong. He turned to see Mello shaking, sweating, mumbling in his sleep. He'd looked almost feverish, until he began to squirm under the blankets, until Matt had noticed that Mello's hand had traveled between his legs, and that he was speaking Near's name. That had been disturbing enough, but other nights the blond would start out the same, only to end up crying.

Matt always knew better than to wake his friend, knew that whatever he was dreaming of was preferable to real life, even when there were tears. And Mello would be so angry if the redhead confronted him about it. It had been months, and the blond was growing more and more depressed. Without the constant demands of the Mafia to keep him entertained, without a solid lead on Kira, he had all the time in the world to think about the old days, to mourn the loss of the relationship. The redhead hated to admit it, but it hadn't been all bad. They'd actually had somewhat of a good thing going for awhile, up until Near's final accusation. They'd been almost disgustingly happy for about a year, between the usual fights of course. Even the arguments were less and less frequent as they spent more of their time together. Hell, the blond was barely even starting fights with his other peers. He was deliriously happy. It would have been gross, but it was almost kind of cute. Alright, it was very cute. Matt found himself becoming jealous, not of Near, or Mello, but of what they shared. He'd never found a girl that he felt that way about. It wasn't fair.

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So Matt had warned him that this was a bad idea. He'd said that Near couldn't possibly keep this up for very long, that the thrill of it would wear off soon, and he would be disappointed. It was just a fling, just relieving years of tension from fighting and competing. Mello was just losing his mind from not having slept since Near arrived at Wammy's. Any one of these things might be true, hell, it might not last until the next day, let alone as long as the blond was hoping. But it just felt so good.

At first, it was all about sex. It was about stripping as fast as they could, not once taking their hands off of each other’s bodies. It was about making time for it between an exam, getting even less sleep so they could do it once more. It was thrilling, having something this wrong to hide from everyone. And to top it all off, it felt really, really good.

But then, Mello found himself thinking about his rival more often, almost constantly in fact. He found himself watching the boy from across the room, ignoring his own work in favor of appreciating the way the younger boy held his pen, becoming jealous of Near's fingers as they twirled his hair. He could look at the boy and see him naked, sweating, and in those eyes that everyone always described as 'eerie' or 'empty', he could see the emotions, the affection that they held when they looked into his own. This was starting to become more than a passing attraction, more than that 'first time' that every one else seemed to just forget about and move on.

Mello couldn't imagine not remembering the first time, even though it had been somewhat traumatic. That was when the younger boy was still treating him like the enemy after, rolling over and barely muttering a word before falling asleep. The blond had left in a rush that night, going back to his own room to shower and try to sleep. The experience had been over too fast in his opinion, leaving the older boy with only a mess and some very conflicting emotions. He'd lost his virginity, with a man at that. But yet, his faith was not the first concern. So he was unmarried, so he had let his sworn rival touch him where only a spouse was supposed to go. Sex was supposed to be sacred, special. Instead, his first time had been angry, starting out as a fight and ending up with him bent over, face pressed into a pillow. But none of that really mattered, because the worst part was that his skin practically itched with the need to touch Near again. He'd tried to wash off the feeling, but it just wouldn't go away. He wanted to do it again, maybe this time spend longer kissing first, and maybe fall asleep beside him after.

Every time after that it happened, they spent longer together, until one night Mello was allowed to stay. That had been what really made him realize that he was in love with Near. The younger boy had fallen asleep on his chest, an arm around Mello's waist. He'd been muttering incoherently afterwards for a while, and the blond had caught the compliment jumbled with the rest of his words. He'd said how beautiful the older boy was, how he loved to watch his pretty face as he 'gave him pleasure'. Near was always so careful with his speech, clinical in his descriptions. But he'd just kept saying that Mello was beautiful, Mello was a wonderful challenge, Mello was so soft and pretty and he'd like to hold him and kiss him all night.

The next day, the blond had been full of energy, deliriously happy. He'd come bouncing into the room he shared with Matt, saying how proud he was of Near that day for something he'd done in one of their classes. It was no surprise when Near was the first to answer a difficult question, to solve a puzzle while everyone else sat confused. Usually this only enraged the blond, but Near had looked so damn cute, quietly raising a hand while the other was tangled up in his hair. He even had that little satisfied smirk when the professor had said that he was correct as usual. Mello hadn't beat him to it, though he'd known the answer too. He wasn't about to tell his redheaded friend, but he'd purposely remained silent to allow Near the satisfaction. He was going to have to congratulate him later, maybe give him a little special attention for his genius. Something about that brilliant mind of his was really turning Mello on, who was growing impatient to get back to the younger boy's room as he packed a few things in a bag.

Matt raised an eyebrow when he saw the things Mello packed, the toothbrush, the comb, a little squeeze tube of something he'd never had to use but knew exactly what it contained. "Mello, are you suggesting that you're happy that Near beat you today? I know you're fuck buddies now, but really, you hate that. Remember?"

"I just like to give credit where credit's due. That was amazing, you have to admit. It took him like, twelve seconds. The rest of us were stumped. Did you see his face? He's so cute when he does that." Matt shrugged. "Come on, you know the thing. His eyes get all wide and the corner of his mouth turns up. His lips are so soft, you have no idea. God, I love his mouth."

"Hey dude, whatever floats your boat, you know I'm cool with this Near thing, but seriously, aren't you supposed to be competing with him? I bet you'd have got that even faster if you hadn't been too busy staring at your boyfriend." Mello rolled his eyes, lightly punching his friend in the arm. "Ouch. Alright, fine. My bad. Near is a freaking genius. He's awesome." The redhead's words were dripping with sarcasm. He still could not believe that his friend was so head over heels for the little asshole. Usually, the slightest turn in Near's favor regarding their scores sent Mello into a deep depression, or caused a screaming fit. But here he was, humming some unrecognizable tune to himself and bouncing around the room. "Dude, your blond is showing. Have you had your chocolate today, mate? I know how you get when you haven't had your fix. Let's go get you a candy bar or something. You'll feel better, I promise."

"No time. Near will be getting to his room any minute. He lost a piece of his transformer in class today. He was still looking for it when I left. I hope he found it. That one's his favorite." Mello smiled proudly. He'd bought that one for the younger boy, and Near had been carrying it around since. He'd said that it was his favorite dozens of times. Mello could still remember the way he'd been thanked for buying the toy. Near was really a very considerate lover.

"Alright dude. I'll just be sitting here, playing Mario Kart and trying to not think about what you're doing in there." The redhead waited to be punched again, or have Mello launch into a rant about how he shouldn't take the relationship so lightly, how he and Near had something special. But the blond just smiled, waved, then blew a kiss goodbye. It was kind of cute. Creepy, but cute.

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"Mello is early." Near was sitting on the floor, making his transformer fly over his head. He'd paused in the action to meet the blonde's eyes as he spoke. That was a new thing. Near rarely met anyone's eyes when he spoke. But Mello was special. "I found it, thank you."

It seemed that the younger boy could really read minds some days. The blond had just been about to express his happiness over the fact, but had been beaten to it. "It's your favorite. I think you like it more than me." The blond faked a pout, setting his belongings on a chair. He sat next to the albino, watching him play with his toy. It might be hours before he became bored with it.

"Mello is wrong. Mello is my favorite." The blond blushed, turning his head away to hide the reaction. But Near was fascinated with such things. He dropped his toy, tucked some of Mello's hair behind his ear to better see the redness in his cheeks. "Is Mello embarrassed? I was only trying to give him a compliment. Does Mello not believe me? I spoke the truth. I enjoy his company much more than any of my toys or games." Near stroked the blonde's cheek with the back of his hand, making the older boy sigh and lean into the touch.

"Near is my favorite too." Mello giggled when the younger boy began to curl a lock of blond hair around his fingers as he kissed the older boy's cheek. "You're very affectionate today." The corner of Near's lips curved into that mischievous smile, and then Near was pulling Mello down to lay with him on the floor. He kissed the corner of Mello's mouth, then licked his bottom lip. The blond tried to kiss back, to nudge the younger boy's lips open with his tongue, but Near was already kissing his way down the blonde's neck, nibbling at his earlobe. Mello pushed his knee between the younger boy's legs, and Near bit down on his collar bone, then sucked at the sensitive flesh.

"Mello is very...aggressive today. Not in an entirely unpleasant way I must admit. For once." There was another wonderful thing that their relationship had brought out in the albino. He made jokes. Not the usual dry sarcastic kind, the ones that could eat away at self-confidence, or make Mello want to punch him. Near teased, laughed, on a regular basis. But only when they were alone. It was as if he was comfortable enough with the blond to really be himself, the way he was afraid to be around the rest of their peers.

"Ass." The blond responded, grinding his knee between the younger boy's legs. Near sighed, pushed into the touch. At the same time, he reached behind Mello, squeezing his ass through his skintight jeans. "Oh, very funny."

"Mello does not enjoy my sense of humor? He wishes for me to be more serious?" Near didn't wait for a response, kissing the blond before he could tease back. Mello began unbuttoning the pajama top, the position of his knee making Near moan into his mouth. He was more vocal than the blond had would have ever expected him to be. He rarely spoke when they were having sex, but he made such cute little noises.

Near had slid his hand up the back of Mello's t-shirt, running a finger along his spine. The blonde shivered, chilled by the younger boy's cold hand. Mello tugged the pajama top off of one of Near's arms, whining when he couldn't remove the rest of it. Near was busy undoing the fly of Mello's jeans, and he smirked when the older boy pouted at him. "Now who's rushing?"

"Mello." Near's hand slipped into the blonde's jeans, his chilly fingers wrapping around the older boy's erection. "No underwear. It is almost as if Mello was anticipating getting nude in a hurry." The blonde's head fell against Near's shoulder, licked and sucked on the smooth white skin.

"You never wear it either." Mello said, tugging at the waistband of the pajama bottoms. Near lifted his hips, allowing the older boy to yank the pants off of them. The blond sat up then, taking his jeans off, then straddling Near's hips. The albino pushed himself into a sitting position, shrugging out of his top and yanking Mello's own over his head. They kissed, the older boy allowing Near to take control as he ground his ass against his lover's erection. They had spent the night together, had sex just that morning before class, but it had still been too long.

"Mello is impatient." The blond took Near's hand, guiding it back to his erection. Near smiled, gently, slowly stroking, knowing that this drove his lover crazy. The younger boy liked to take his time, to soak up every sensation and reaction, but the blond seemed to always be pushing him, making him go faster, harder, to orgasm as quick as possible.

The blond pushed Near onto his back, kissing his neck, biting his collarbones. He teased the younger boy, licking his way down his chest and stomach, his hair tickling that smooth porcelain skin. The other children always taunted the boy for it, telling him that he wouldn't look so much like the dead if he'd just go out in the sun once in a while. Mello always wondered why a group of supposed geniuses hadn't noticed how sensitive to sun the older boy was. "Funny statement for the boy who's practically pushing my head towards his dick." Mello looked up when Near released the handful of hair he'd held loosely, surprised that he had listened so quickly. It was difficult to tease the younger boy, because he always thought and spoke so literally.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to cause any discomfort." The blond raked his nails down Near's chest, over his stomach as he licked the tip of the albino's erection. The younger boy's hand had made it's way back into Mello's hair, this time only running his fingers through it slowly, while his other hand balled up into a fist at his side. The blond noticed that Near's cheeks were turning red as he watched Mello take his erection into his mouth. So that was why he was playing with his hair, he was trying to keep it out of the way so he could watch. Mello always took great pleasure in the fact that his former rival seemed a bit nervous when the attention was all on him. It was a new side of Near, seeing him confused at what to say or do. It made the blond feel like he was in total control for once, had the upper hand. But he had no desire to 'beat' Near in the bedroom, he was just happy to have proof that the younger boy wasn't as arrogant and self centered as everyone seemed to think, that he'd much rather be pleasing Mello. Still, with the older boy's warm mouth around his dick, the albino was not protesting in the least.

The blond lifted his head up long enough to grab Near's hand, sucking on his index and middle fingers, bringing his arm around to his back. Near looked at him in confusion, but Mello had faith that he would get the hint. And he did, pushing himself back up into a sitting position as Mello continued his previous attentions. The blond had to concentrate very hard on not scraping his teeth against the younger boy's erection when the first finger pushed into his ass, slowly working it's way in and out. Mello increased his pace, having to hold the albino's hips down to keep from being choked. Now that Near was able to please the blond, he was losing his control, moaning loudly and squirming under the older boy. When the albino added the second finger, quickening the pace of the thrusts and finding Mello's prostate, the blond lifted his head again. "Oh, god, Near."

"Which of us...is Mello...addressing?" Near questioned between pants, not regretting the loss of Mello's mouth on his dick, because it had been done so the older boy could tell him how good this felt. The albino continued, feeling the swell of pride when his lover was not able to respond. "Mello's breathing is becoming erratic. Is Mello alright? I should stop."

"Near..." Mello whined when the fingers were removed so that the younger boy could gently squeeze his hip, trying to regain his attention. The blond crawled into his lap, nuzzling his neck, breathing in that clean smell of soap. Everything about the younger boy was pristine, white and clean. Mello was all bitter chocolate and grass stained knees. The albino had begun to complain that he smelt of Matt's cigarettes sometimes, so he always changed before coming to their nightly rendezvous. The other children had noticed Near's frequent absences, his sneezing and sniffling, how he rarely ate in front of them. Near was allergic to everything, so had to be careful of what he surrounded himself with. Matt had been 'convinced' to smoke out of the window or outside, so the smell didn't cling to the blonde's belongings.

"Mello is tickling me." The older boy had his hands in Near's hair, gently tugging them as he pressed his nose into the younger boy's neck, his breath warm breath making Near shiver. "Mello is doing this on purpose." The blond nipped at his lover's throat, delighting in the small red mark he left, a perfect imprint of his teeth. No one dared ask the number one contender where all the marks were coming from, though Mello could tell that he was somewhat embarrassed about them at first. The blond had taught Near how to apply make up to them, concealing his love bites. Lately, the younger boy had seemed to stop caring, to wear the marks with pride. Mello still hid his, not because he was ashamed, more just to further confuse the population of the orphanage. Considering the reputation of his redheaded friend, Matt was the top choice where the rumors over who Near was sleeping with were made. He violently denied this, made an extra effort to avoid Near. Ah, chaos.

Near took a handful of Mello's hair, pulling his head to the side, leaving his own imprint of teeth over each collarbone, on both sides of the neck. He bit down harder, and Mello was grinding his ass into the younger boy's erection, tilting his head farther, begging for more. The first time the albino had done this, he'd been confused at how pain could be felt as pleasure, how the idea of being marked could feel so good. But then Mello had showed him, and he understood. It should have hurt; it might have if the lips and teeth had belonged to someone else, if their owner hadn't been naked and sweating above him. "Mello would like Near to quit teasing and make love to him."

"If Mello wishes to engage in sexual intercourse, then he should get his beautiful ass onto my bed." Mello laughed. It was strange how he could use such clinical terms, then revert to such dirty language in one breath. That had been Mello's fault, who'd just barely broken the boy of using words like 'penis' and (ugh) 'anus' and other such textbook descriptions. He still wouldn't refer to what they did as making love, but not because he didn't care for the blond, more because it was too figurative a term. He'd said it himself, and it had been the closest to romantic that he'd ever spoken to the blond. He'd said that you couldn't make love, it was just there, it either was, or it wasn't. Love was a feeling, and emotions were impossible to just force upon oneself.

"Why bother? We're here, and we're both ready..." the blond purred, but he already knew the answer. Mello liked to think that the reason was more romantic than just the floor hurting their backs and knees, of the bed being squishy and comfortable. It might be only that, but the albino rarely liked to have sex anywhere but a bed, even on the days when Mello couldn't wait that extra few seconds, when they'd already waited all damn day.

"If Mello does not wish to have intercourse, that is his decision." The blond rolled his eyes, climbing out of Near's lap, swaying his hips as he slowly made his way to the bed. Fine, two could play this game. Maybe he would just not let Near have it. "Mello is so beautiful." The older boy had laid out on his back, tracing his fingers over his chest and stomach, watching those gray eyes widen, that smirk turn softer. Near just watched for a few moments, memorizing every detail of his lover. The blond toyed with a nipple, scraping a nail across it, pinching lightly. Near was fascinated with the pale pink buds of flesh, spent agonizing moments playing with them. "Mello has very feminine erogenous zones." Thank you, human development. The blond wished they'd both skipped out on that, ever since the first few lessons they'd sat through, the younger boy had been experimenting with him, finding all the spots that caused the blond to whimper, to beg. A lot of them were considered more feminine, and Mello was teased relentlessly for it.

"Is Near so lazy that he's just going to watch me play with myself?" Mello teased, one hand petting just below his navel. His stomach was highly sensitive, and Near had watched one day, fascinated, as Mello absentmindedly ran his hand under his shirt while reading a book. His legs had started out crossed as he lay on his back, but they were falling open as the hand drifted under his waistband, still reading even as he undid the button, slid down the zipper. Near sat close by, dropping his toys to watch Mello jerk himself off, his eyes still quickly scanning the pages, the lips that had been silently mouthing the words had fallen open, his tongue darting out to wetten them. Just as his eyelids had started to flutter shut, the albino couldn't stand it anymore, asked him what he was doing. The blond rolled over, hiding the blush with his hair, reading aloud to stop any further conversation. But Near wouldn't let it go, asking what was so stimulating about studying. Mello refused to answer, but the albino soon realized that intelligent conversation had the same effect.

"I like to watch Mello pleasure himself. I am given insight into what he enjoys most this way. It helps me to become a better partner." Mello crooked a finger, motioning his lover to the bed. Near complied, laying a hand over the blonde's, pushing it down between his legs. "Please do not stop. Mello looks very pretty." The blond complied, his eyes closing as he fingered himself, his hips raising completely up off the bed, knees bending, toes curling.

He hadn't even noticed when the albino left him again, long enough to retrieve the lube out of Mello's overnight bag. He sat between the older boy's legs, kissing his way up each one, pushing them apart. Mello's eyes opened again when he heard the younger boy sigh contentedly, saw him spreading the lubricant over his erection. The blond had been about to come from his own attentions, whining when he extracted his fingers, grasping the younger boy's dick. "Let me help." He stroked the younger boy, and Near pulled one of those gorgeous tanned legs up over his shoulder as the blond positioned him between his legs.

"Is Mello adequately prepared?" Near was always so careful not to hurt Mello, after the first time, when the initial penetration had caused his eyes to well up with tears. They'd both been aware that it would be uncomfortable, but had rushed into it with not quite enough preparation, making the older boy sore for several days. Not unpleasantly so, Mello had sworn, but ever since the younger boy had been obsessively gentle, constantly asking if Mello was ok. Now, the blond was just nodding, the muscles in his thighs tensing, the leg on Near's shoulder shaking even as he pushed the tip of Near's dick into his ass.

Mello put a hand on the younger boy's back, pushing him forward, unbalancing him. Then Mello was almost completely impaled, raising his hips up, wanting his lover in as deep as possible. "Move, damn it." Near did as he was asked, slowly pulling out, pushing back in. It wasn't enough. "Near..." The blond whined. Then the albino struck the blonde's prostate, silencing any further complaints as the older boy bit hard on his own lip.

"Is Mello alright?" Near asked, pulling out again, almost completely. He hit Mello's spot with every thrust, pushing his tanned leg up towards his head with a hand on the back of his thigh. Mello clawed at his back, his other leg tangling around one of Near's, his toes curling and uncurling. Near thought this was strangely cute, and told Mello so, then kissed him, pausing in his movements to fully enjoy the sensation of those pretty, soft lips against his own. Yes, Mello was very feminine. His bottom lip was fuller than most boys, sticking out in an almost constant pout that made him look rather girly, or childish.

"I love you." The blond whispered into the younger boy's ear as he came, nipping the lobe, his leg falling down to his thigh as Near braced himself with his palms against the bed, now thrusting harder, faster, as the blonde's inner muscles threatened to hold him inside, squeezing until it was almost painful with the spasms of climax.

Near never said it back, not once. But the blond couldn't take offense, knew that his lover was always uncomfortable with emotions. He could see the affection in his gray eyes, still wide open as he came inside the blond, pulling out quickly before falling against his chest. "Mello is beautiful," he said over and over, wrapping his arms around the blond and pulling him onto his side. Mello stroked soft white curls, Near moving his head closer, already falling asleep with his face pressed under the older boy's chin. "Mello is so pretty."

It ended like this for months, falling asleep together, both physically and emotionally sated. Of course Mello would have to leave in the morning, shower and change in his own room before the rest of the orphanage woke. It had to be kept a secret. But that was ok, it was wonderful in fact. This was their secret, not because it was something to be ashamed of, but because it felt so good to share something that no one else could have. It might cheapen it if it were to be exposed, might make it less sacred. Mello was reminded that the feeling was similar to that when he prayed, locking himself in his bedroom, going to church at odd hours to have that few minutes of peace that no one could touch. This was his and his alone, and it would not be ruined by outsiders that couldn't possibly understand how sacred it was. Love was not something that needed to be flaunted, just like religion. It should be kept safe, shared only between the two of them, every moment appreciated because it could be the last.

Back then, Mello had felt like it could never end. Nothing between them could be ruined by a discovery, by a fight. They would never part, they would never hurt each other again. In hindsight, he supposed that his optimism had been foolish, might have been their undoing. Mello would grow up to believe that if he even felt a moment's happiness, if he didn't have some doubt that his world could be ripped out from under him, than that was exactly what could happen. It was all right to feel good, as long as you constantly reminded yourself that it had to be fleeting, that something would come along and ruin it. That was all that kept you safe, doubt was your friend. Total faith only brought disappointment.

But then, back when they kept their secret, it really did feel like it was going to last forever. Mello had never slept so good as when he was in Near's arms. He didn't even mind waking up and leaving, because he could come back. He could always come back.

******************************************************************

The first time Matt noticed it was after Mello had returned from a shower, his towel hanging just a tiny bit too low on his slim hips. He really wouldn’t have been staring at his friend’s ass under most circumstances but with it right there in front of him, blocking the view of his game, he didn’t have much choice. It was just a little dark smudge, starting on his tailbone, disappearing below the fluffy white fabric but definitely enough to catch the hacker’s eye.

“Hey Mells? What’s that?” he asked, his curiosity peaked, so much in fact that he barely noticed when his character died on the TV screen. He dropped to his knees on the carpet, moved closer to get a better look. To an outsider, this probably would have looked kind of odd (gay) but they’d been sharing a living space since they were toddlers, seen each other naked more times than was appropriate considering that Matt was, in fact, straight.

“Hmm?” The blond murmured distractedly as he checked to make sure his guns were all loaded and fully functional. The redhead reached out, brushed his fingertip over the spot and Mello spun around, pressing the barrel of his gun to his friend’s forehead. He glared at the younger boy, “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?” he demanded. Matt rolled his eyes, grabbed the blonde’s hips and turned him back around, again focusing his attention on whatever the hell he was hiding under that towel.

“I’ll say it again…What is this?” he asked, poking the spot. When he tried to tug the fabric down, Mello again faced him, eyes wide, blushing furiously. He slapped the redhead hard, and it stung like a bitch but the younger boy had to fight back a laugh. It was just such a girl thing to do.

“None of your god damn business,” the blond snapped. He tried to leave but Matt quickly got to his feet, grabbed his wrists and held him there. He waited for several moments but Mello absolutely refused to look him in the eyes.

“Spill. Or I’m not letting you go…tick tock, Mell’s. We can stand here all day and please try to remember that I know where all your ticklish spots are,” Matt teased. Mello finally looked up, glaring at him from behind a curtain of blond fringe.

“It’s a fucking tattoo, ok? Now let me go, I have shit to do,” the older boy growled. Matt’s mouth dropped open in shock. A tattoo? Oh, Jesus Christ. He had to know; there was no way around it. The wondering would kill him.

“Can I see it?” he asked excitedly. Mello shoved him away.

“No you can’t fucking see it! Since when are you so interested in my ass crack, Matt? I thought we agreed a long time ago that we were just friends,” the blond teased but it did nothing to deter his curious friend.

“Holy shit, you mean it goes down further? Oh please, Mello…Pretty please, with sugar and chocolate sprinkles? You have to tell me, I’m your best mate. You don’t keep secrets from your best mate; it’s like a rule. Or a law! It’s got to be official.” Mello rolled his eyes.

“No. Not a chance in hell. “Again, he tried to get away but Matt yanked the towel from his hips, shoved him up against the nearest wall. “Let me go you fuck!” As soon as Matt saw what had been permanently inked into his friend’s skin, he did. Then took a step back. It was just four little letters but he knew that they meant the world to the blond.

“Oh, Mello, you didn’t…” Matt whispered sadly. “Why would you do that? Why do you keep torturing yourself? You deserve so much better…” Mello ignored him as he made his way to the bedroom, slammed the door behind him. A few minutes later, he reemerged, full dressed. They were both silent for a long time, Matt playing his PSP, Mello checking and rechecking his weapons several more times than what was needed. “Mello, what happens if you find someone else? Do you really think they’ll want your ex’s name staring them in the face while you’re fucking?” Mello gave him a look, went back to his work. “Come on, surely you’ve thought of moving on. You know, he’s not the only fish in the sea, as they say…” Another look. Matt threw his game down onto the couch, stalked over to where his friend sat at the table. “Damn it Mello, you can’t spend the rest of your life pining over that little prick. It’s not healthy. He’s not worth it!” Mello didn’t look up, just sighed, covered his face with one hand while the other gripped the gun tighter, his finger sliding around the trigger. Matt sighed, waited for the inevitable threat but for once, Mello surprised, as well as horrified him when he turned the gun on himself. He pressed the barrel against his temple, lifted his head so Matt could see his bloodshot blue eyes.

“Don’t you think I know that?” he whispered. “I know it’s not worth it. I know it’s not healthy but god damn it, Matt, it’s not that fucking easy. You don’t know what it’s like because you’ve never been in love but I have. I fucking love him and when you love someone, you can’t just turn it off like a fucking light switch, ok?” Tears slid down his face as they stared each other down but as soon as Matt saw Mello’s finger tighten on that trigger, he lunged, grabbing the blonde’s wrist, managing to turn the gun away only seconds before it fired. For a long time, they sat there staring at the hole in the wall, in total silence, Matt’s hand still tight around Mello’s should he get any funny ideas. Then they looked at each other and Matt was surprised to find that Mello looked almost as shocked as he was.

“You were really going to do it, weren’t you?” he asked, dreading the answer. Mello only nodded. The redhead gently pulled the gun out of Mello’s grip without resistance, placed it on the table, then pulled his friend up from his chair and wrapped his arms around him.

They remained in the embrace for what felt like hours, each needing the comfort as much as the other. Matt felt tears stinging his own eyes, could barely see through his goggles anymore. The blond didn't know it, but he meant everything to the younger boy. He said it often, that Mello was his reason for carrying on in this otherwise hopeless existence. It wasn't like the redhead didn't have the important things, an endless line of lovers, games and cigarettes, a small (well, not so small) inheritance from his deceased mentor, but none of that mattered in the grand scheme of things. He knew that this Kira thing might kill them, was willing to sacrifice his life if he had to, but he couldn't bear the thought of Mello not standing there to claim the victory. If Mello died over this stupid thing he called love, then all would be lost.

Mello had always been the stronger of the two, had always faced danger and hopelessness head on and managed to make the sun shine when the orange shades through which the hacker saw the world just didn't cut it. It made Matt even surer of the fact that he never wanted to experience the emotions that Mello was suffering for. Love shut out all the lights and left you stumbling in the shadows, made you fall into traps you couldn't possibly see through the haze. He wanted to comfort him by explaining his philosophy, by encouraging him to step out and take comfort in the arms of strangers, to forget meaning and let the joys of physical comfort take the stresses and pain away.

Finally the blond spoke, his words muffled against his friend's shirt. "Help me?" Never had the blond seemed so fragile, so weak, as he was now in the redhead's arms. Matt clung to him, his hold almost definitely crushing the taller boy. He felt like glass, thin and breakable and still the hacker held him tighter. "Please? Tell me again how stupid this is. Tell me one more time and I might actually believe you. You're always there for me, aren't you Matt? You know what to do. No one knows me better than you. Fucking do something. Kill him, kill me, just do something."

Mello turned to stare at his abandoned gun, one arm snaking out to reach for it. Matt pulled him away, walking them to the couch. When he sat, he pulled the blond into his lap, stroking his hair and whispering he was sorry, that it was ok. He never lied to his friend, not because it was impossible to do so, so much that he just couldn't bear it. But he kept on, telling him that he'd feel better, that Matt would do whatever he had to make it go away. "Stop it. Just stop it right now. Your life is worth more than his will ever be. This is why you're better than him, because you feel Mello. He's a heartless bastard. It's not your fault. He's a fucking wanker, a cold little prick that will never know any joy. All those things he said to you, he's just trying to weaken you. It's all just another game to him. But even that does nothing for him." The blond shuddered, his whole body shaking from head to toe. "I'm not helping any, am I?"

Mello shook his head, then seemed to collapse against his friend. He sagged in the redhead's lap, and something came over the redhead then, laying the blond down, curling up behind him. As thin as they both were, it was a cramped fit on the couch, and they were pressed quite close together. It felt strange, wrong, but the gamer held his friend closer, one arm snaking around his waist and catching the blonde's hand in his own. "I know it's all true. He makes me feel so small, so worthless, even when I know that it's just the way he is. I know he can't feel anything for anyone, but it didn't feel that way once." Mello squeezed his friend's hand, taking in deep breaths to slow that tears that flowed down his cheeks. "I felt so special when I was with him, I felt on top of the world. I was making Near feel something, act human. If Near said I was pretty, I had to be the most beautiful thing in the world because that heartless fucker could look god himself in the eyes and point out his flaws."

The hacker wrapped his leg around both of the blonde's, trapping him in the embrace. Mello wasn't struggling, though he did tense up a bit. Then Matt's lips were on the back of his neck, his breath tickling the nape of the older boy's neck, and the blonde relaxed some. "You are pretty Mello. Haven't I always told you, if anyone could turn me gay it'd be you? You're the prettiest thing I have ever seen."

Mello laughed, his free hand coming up to trace the edges of the scars on his face. "Really Matt, thank you, but you're not helping. I know you don't mean it. Just like I know he never meant it. You don't have to do that, it's sweet, but it's not helping either of us." The redhead brought a hand up to trace the scars for himself, fascinated by how the healing skin actually felt softer than the rest. His fingertips glided over them, tracing the edges, noticing that Mello responded with a little catch in his breathing. The younger boy had suspected that there was some sensation left, having been unable to get an answer about whether the nerves were completely destroyed or not. He knew that the blonde's hearing and vision had been impaired, having noticed how he always twisted his body just so when they were speaking. The damage had been researched, the hacker suspecting that the hearing might be totally gone on one side, and that the vision might be cloudy shapes and colors at best.

Mello tried to escape when the younger boy's hand traveled down his neck, over his shoulder. He tried to escape, but the redhead only pulled him closer, still trapping him with a leg around his own. Then the redhead was pulling the zipper of the vest down, his hand resting over the blonde's chest. When the older boy had been healing his friend had had to apply ointments and bandages to the wounds, had had to help him into the bath on several occasions. But now the touch was gentler, and there was no lotion to apply, no bandages and tape between callused fingers and Mello's skin. "I mean it, Mello. You're so pretty. You really are the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. Even if you are a boy." The redhead kissed the back of his friend's neck again, then moved to the side, biting gently, then tracing the spot over with his tongue. He kept brushing his fingers over the scars on Mello's arm and chest while he kissed his neck, and when he let his hand wander to the older boy's stomach, Mello tensed, biting his lip.

"You're not gay Matt." The blond could feel the smile against his shoulder, and to point out just how wrong Mello was at this exact moment, the younger boy rubbed his obvious physical reaction against the blonde's ass. The older teen would have bolted right then, but the hacker's hand was running along his waistband, and his mind wandered. He could almost feel Near behind him, pressed into him, panting in his ear. The albino had taken finding all of Mello's spots very seriously, discovering that the one the hacker paid attention to now was one of the most sensitive. All Near had had to do in the morning to wake Mello for sex was to kiss the spot just below his belly button, to press a finger into the hollow of a hip. It made Mello's legs fall open, made the pace of his breaths speed up and his eyes squeeze shut. The hand made it's way under his waistband now was calloused, larger than Near's and fumbling more than his lover had. He knew this was not his lover, and hated himself for almost reacting anyway.

"Beautiful Mello. Absolutely breath-taking." The hacker was waiting to feel the alarms going off in his head, because not only was this so not his thing, but this man was like a brother to him, his best friend in the whole world. But if this would stop the blond from crying, from attempting to blow his brains out the next time he was left alone, then it was alright. And it did feel sort of...good. The gamer knew that there was no way he'd be allowed to continue much longer, but at the moment he pulled Mello closer, whispering into his ear all the things Near should be saying to him. As Matt ran a thumb over the blonde's hip he told his friend how angelic he looked, how the scar made him both frightening and sexy, how no one deserved to touch him and he was doing anyone who tried a personal favor in allowing them.

This was when Mello snapped out of it finally, throwing Matt's hand to the side and sitting up. He hung his head, taking deep, even breaths. He should just let this happen, Matt wouldn't treat him the way Near had. But it wasn't right. "He never said anything to me when we were fucking. At least, nothing like that." Mello laughed. "He was actually pretty technical about it, mostly just asked me if the angle was good," the blonde blushed. "Or, you know, how it felt. Not really romantic. That's ok though, it was never about romance, was it."

The older boy had begun to cry again, and the redhead reached out, carefully, so as not to spook him. But Mello jumped at the opportunity, hugging Matt tightly and crying into his shoulder. The hacker smoothed out strands of mussed blond, rubbed the older boy's back when the quiet tears turned to sobbing hiccups. "I told you, you deserve better. If I could replace it I would. In a heartbeat. And believe it or not, I'd love every second of it."

Mello turned his face up to meet his friend's eyes. Matt actually pulled off the ever-present goggles, hoping that the older boy could see the sincerity in his expression. Mello did. The younger boy was the only one who never lied to him. Near had done it. Roger, Watari, even L had lied to him. "You promise? You weren't about to just 'take one for the team' to make me feel better about myself?"

The blond was smiling when he said it, settling back on the other side of the couch and picking up a chocolate bar that he'd abandoned on the table earlier. His gun stared back at him, but at this moment he didn't even bother to pick it up. Matt reached for the weapon, running it back to the bedroom before he answered his friend. "I swear it. Now....erm, if you're alright, uhhh, I've got to go to the loo..."

The blond nodded, watching his usually lazy friend practically jog to the bathroom. When Matt didn't return for several moments, Mello made his way to the locked door, knocking several times before he received an answer. When the response came, the redhead sounded slightly out of breath, a little nervous even. "What is it, Mello? I'm a little, erm, busy."

"Are you jacking off in there?" The blond couldn't help but smile, though he wasn't sure what he hoped the answer might be.

"Uhh...yep."

"Do you need help, by any chance?" Mello's tone made it quite clear that he was joking, though with the way that this day was turning out, he wouldn't have been terribly surprised at either a negative or affirmative answer.

"No! Go away please!" The blond debated on whether to taunt his friend more, standing next to the door while he decided. "I didn't hear you walk away Mello." The older boy left then, deciding that he'd teased enough. He made sure to stomp heavily back into the living room, giggling loudly.

When Matt returned nearly half an hour later, having jumped into the shower just to delay the inevitable teasing, Mello was curled up on the couch, quietly flipping through a magazine and affecting a bored expression.. The hacker immediately switched on a game just so he wouldn't have to look his friend in the eyes. It wasn't that he was actually attracted to Mello, he'd just been trying to give him a confidence boost and hormones had gotten the better of him. "Feel better, Matty?"

"Heh. I think I might survive. You?" The blond reached out, pressed pause on the controller, then grasped his friend's hand, squeezing it, then quickly letting go. The hacker immediately went back to playing, though his color was starting to return to normal.

"I can't believe it, but I do. You're not to ever try something like that again, but thank you for it anyway. I love you like a brother Matt, and I know you don't approve or understand, but things will never be normal between him and I. As much as that tears me apart, it comforts me to know that I will always have you. You're my best friend and my brother and I might love you even more than him."

"Love you too mate." Matt smiled, winked, then returned to his game. For once Mello let himself relax, let his thoughts drift as he watched the tiny creatures on the screen. It was soon evident that his friend was becoming bored, so the younger teen switched to a two player racing game, handing the blond the secondary controller. "Loser cooks dinner."

"Loser cooks dinner and cleans the dishes." The redhead gulped, remembering the mess they'd left in the sink for nearly a week. "And you'd better try you're goddamned best. If I suspect you're half assing it to coddle me, you've automatically forfeited the win. Understood?"

"Yes sir." The gamer saluted, laughing as he wondered how the blond could read his mind so well.

******************************************************************

As much as he hated to admit it, neither of the boys would ever find peace without each other, and a rekindled romance might actually be an asset to solving the case that still seemed so much bigger than all of them. Maybe if they were together, forced to be happy if they had to be, they would work together and end this. Matt couldn't stand the drama anymore, never mind that every time Mello cried it seemed as if the whole world was falling to pieces. Something had to be done. Something drastic, something crazy. Matt just hoped that he wouldn't be shot for this.

***************************************************************

It had been so simple that it was almost an insult to the teen's intelligence. Surely a former secret service agent would be more than a bit cautious at giving out her address, especially considering that the man she thought had contacted her should already know it. He'd sent the woman just one text message from Mello's phone, saying that they needed to meet in person immediately to discuss Near. She'd responded only five minutes later, and when the teen had asked for her address she'd sent it without hesitation.

Mello had only mentioned the woman briefly, stating that she seemed fond of Near, and was always staring at the blond, which annoyed the older boy to no end. He hadn't said it outright, probably because he was so used to it, but it was obvious from what little he mentioned of Hal that the girl had the hots for him. Big time. So, even as stupid as the redhead already thought she was, it was really no surprise that she had been so quick to invite him over. After all, most people would cut off their own arm to get the blond alone.

Matt was rather impressed with the hotel that he arrived at. Near really must be raking in the cash, to put his employees up in a place like this. Of course, Wammy's was no hole in the wall, thanks to L's generous donations the kids never went without. The detective must have been a billionaire by the time he died. The redhead was forced to wait several minutes, impatiently knocking on the door, but not calling out. No doubt the girl would be pissed when she saw that Mello's sidekick had appeared instead of the blond himself.

Finally the door opened, just a crack, and a pair of blue eyes peered around the corner, blond hair falling around an attractive face. "What the fuck?" Oh, pretty and a dirty mouth. Maybe this would be more pleasant than Matt had anticipated. "You're not Mello." A gun appeared in her hand, discreetly pointing at the teen, yet out of view of anyone who might pass by. "You've got five fucking seconds to explain yourself."

"Whoa, there, calm down love. I'm a friend of his. A partner actually. I'm here about yesterday. You know, the whole nasty phone call bit." The gun was pressed into Matt's stomach as he took a step closer, placing his foot firmly in the doorway. "Bollocks, that was more than five seconds, wasn't it?" The redhead was a little disappointed that the accent wasn't working on this particular girl; all Americans seemed to love it. The women all found him irresistibly attractive with just a few well placed 'loves' and 'bloody hells'. They laughed at all his jokes, told him how cute and funny and sexy he was, all because he was a foreigner. Thank you Hugh Grant. Unfortunately, this did not seem to be working with the gorgeous blond (how ironic) that was still pressing a gun into the teenager's gut (more ironic, yet somewhat comforting. She sure was going out of her way to make him feel at home, wasn’t she?). "Please, just let me in, sweetheart. For Mello?"

The magic word, apparently. The woman took a step back, not opening the door, just allowing the redhead to step in if he chose to. The gun was still carefully aimed at him, and she was (impressive) steadily holding the defensive stance without twitching or showing any strain at all. A professional, a very hot professional. Score. "You have five minutes, one false move and I blow you away. And make no mistake, Near has installed cameras in every room, and he will be able to see you and send back up if I call for it." A little too much information there, but a nice threat anyway. The redhead looked around the room as he entered, noting the telltale signs of surveillance. Near really was a pervert. He wondered if the little freak had these things in this poor lady's bedroom and bathroom as well.

"Don't worry gorgeous, I'm not planning anything nefarious. Well, I am, but nothing to do with you. Unless you'd like me to." The redhead winked, and the woman finally lowered her weapon, replacing it in the holster on her hip. Matt liked women of all shapes and sizes, and took the time to notice this one's rather lovely physique. She was quite a bit taller than him (big surprise), thin, but well stacked on top. She was dressed in nice slacks and a form-fitting blouse, thankfully wearing flats to complete the outfit. Matt had run into his fair share of female law enforcement, and they usually had no idea how to dress themselves. This woman was a breath of fresh air, from her long blond hair, to carefully applied make up, to the clothing that accentuated all of her best features. Maybe Mello had been keeping him on too short a leash for too long, but this girl was really, really hot.

"I wasn't kidding about the time limit. If you plan on wasting it with innuendo, you'll find yourself on the opposite side of that door before you've had the chance to make your case. And quit it with the pet names." Hal's hand was resting on the butt of her gun, and instead of unnerving the redhead like it was intended to, it was spurring him on. With the pass that his accent and, in his opinion at least, good looks he had little trouble with women. To Mello's extreme distaste, the younger boy had slept with the majority of eligible girls at Wammy's, then quite a few more during their stay in LA. He rarely had to chase a woman, and was now excited at the challenge. Unfortunately, there was business to attend to first. Damn it Mello.

"I'm sorry, Mello doesn't allow me out much anymore, and you're very pretty. Please excuse my rudeness. I'm really not such a pig, I swear." The redhead held a hand out, and when the woman cautiously reached to shake it, he brought her hand to his lips, kissing the back of it with a teasing smirk. "I'm Matt. I'm sure Mello has mentioned me before."

"No, he has not." Hal wiped the back of her hand on her pants, wrinkled her nose. But there was a slight redness in her cheeks, and she was not making eye contact anymore. Yes!

"Whoa, there's a blow to my ego. All right then, well, Mello and I are partners, best friends since before I can remember actually. And Near, well, we grew up with him. I'm sure you know about the orphanage by now." Mello would have beaten Matt to a pulp for offering such information up, even to someone who just had to know. With Kira at large, the identities of the Wammy House students were more sacred than ever, the existence of the orphanage more important to keep secret. But this girl worked closely with Near, was quite fond of Mello. Even if she didn't know, she couldn't do any harm.

"I'm guessing you're about to make a point some time soon? I don't have all day. I'm due back with Near very soon." Matt walked around the living room, taking in the decor, feeling a bit sad when he noticed that there were no personal photos decorating any surfaces, only a few prints of classical paintings that matched the color scheme. He sat on the couch, resting one leg over its arm.

"You're lying. There's a nice warm cup of tea right here, a book still open beside it. Your day off, I take it?" Matt laughed. "You're all dressed up and armed, just to read and drink tea? Huh. Replace the poetry with some Dante or the Bible, substitute some hot chocolate, and you might as well be Mello's twin. Ok, the outfit is all wrong too, but the whole thing is rather creepy. Have you any idea how much you and Mello look alike? Yeah, you're impressively tall for a woman, and he's a bit on the short side like myself, but you really would pass for siblings. That's kind of pervy, Hal."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. And that wasn't a lie. He just called a few moments ago. There may be a break in the case." The woman retrieved the book, closing it and setting it on a shelf. Then she pushed Matt's leg from its comfortable position back onto the floor, grimacing when she noticed that he'd left footprints on the white carpeting. "If you insist on staying, would you please take those off?"

Matt obliged, then proceeded to prop his feet up on the table in front of him. "Fuck the case. We've got more important shit to discuss, like your boss and mine for instance." Hal watched the teenager take over her living room, acting more like a resident than intruder. He was sipping at her tea damn it! "Mind if I smoke in here?"

"Yes." Matt lit a cigarette despite the negative response, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly as he took the first drag. Hal rolled her eyes, stalking off to her bedroom to get an ashtray. "Let me guess, you could just tell?" The redhead tapped his nose, winking.

"Doesn't take a genius. But, I am in fact that. I suppose that if you're aware of Wammy's, then you have an idea what kind of kids they take in there?" Hal nodded. "Good, I hate having to get into the boring details. Let's just cut to the chase, shall we? Mello and Near were the pride and joy of Mr. Wammy, and both of them were to become L. Actually, I suspect that they were even in scores, despite Near ultimately taking the title for himself. I don't just say this because Mello is my friend, and I can't stand the little twat. You've only seen the scary, emotional side of my best mate. He's really quite intelligent. That whole explosion thing looked bad, I know, as well as holding you at gunpoint. But it was really genius, you have to admit."

"I understood the reasoning behind both. I can't say I condone his methods, but I understand." Hal took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, placing several pillows between them.

"That might be because you want Mello's arse in the worst way. Hey, don't look at me like that, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone does. Anyway, back to what's important. Mello and Near, see, they were like rivals. Ok, sworn enemies really. I'm not really sure how it started, but they were constantly bickering, fighting for the number one spot. It went on for years, with yours truly in the middle of it all. You have no idea how many battle scars I have from breaking up fights between them. Mello might look quite feminine, but he hits fucking hard. Kicks too." The redhead crossed his legs at the memory of his blond friend kicking him in the balls for having said good morning to Near once.

"That's it? All of this because they both wanted to take the place of some snotty hermit detective? What was the big deal about this guy?" Matt pulled a gun from his jacket pocket, aiming it straight between Hal's eyes. The woman jumped off the couch, tripping over the coffee table and landing on her ass on the floor. She quickly recovered, pulling her own weapon. They faced each other, Hal calmly waiting for Matt to so much as twitch before she would put a bullet in him. The redhead had stood, his breathing heavy and audible, his eyes narrowed to slits behind orange lenses. His hands were shaking.

"Never! Never again, and I fucking mean it. If you ever even so much as think of saying one bad word about L, I swear on my PSP I'll kill you without a second thought. L's memory is fucking sacred. Near is making a mockery of it. He is nothing like the man. L was brave and good and like a father to us all. He almost had that fucking bastard. He just got too damn close. Thanks to people like you who were too proud to just follow his orders, too caught up in procedures to do what needed to be done. If they'd just listened to him, we'd all be dancing on Kira's grave right now." Hal was doing her best to stand while not taking an eye off the suddenly enraged teenager, yet was feeling almost guilty when she heard the emotional outburst. She had not meant any harm. It was just too hard to believe that two kids, who might as well have been brothers, could have this much hate between them over something so trivial as a title. It was well known among all branches of law enforcement that while L had been respected, he had been a thorn in everyone's side. His methods were unorthodox, to say the least, and his manners...well, he could be quite offensive when things did not go his way. Of course, Near wasn't much better, which was probably the reason for no one suspecting that L had been replaced.

"I'm sorry. I did not realize he meant that much to you. Drop your weapon, and we'll forget about this." To show that she meant what she said, Hal raised both arms above her head, though held on to her gun. Matt was still aiming, still seething with anger. "Alright. I'll drop mine. Ok? I'll do it first. Just remember, if you shoot me, Near will have an entire team here to arrest you before you can even blink."

Matt finally replaced his weapon, settling back onto the couch, lighting another cigarette. Hal joined him, and they sat in uncomfortable silence while they both calmed. "You don't have any idea what he meant to us. What he did for us. The orphanage might have been a fucked up place, but L really cared about us. The scores didn't matter to him. We mattered to him. He loved us like brothers, or like sons. He was a good man. That's why I'm here, because I want that fucker's head probably as much as Mello does." The redhead wouldn't face the woman, but Hal could see that he'd gone from angry to quite obviously depressed. She laid a tentative hand on his back, trying to soothe away some of the pain. Near never spoke of L, unless he was referring to himself. She wondered if the man meant that much to him as well.

"Alright, please forgive me. Now, what were you here about?" Maybe if they changed the subject this boy wouldn't look so pathetic. It was hard enough being a woman in her job, constantly trying to prove herself, to work harder and be better just because she'd been born without a penis, she didn't need this emotional crap too. But as a woman with all those god damned maternal instincts, she felt the desire to comfort, to nurture. If only Near would be more open, let her take care of him. He might not act it, but she suspected the little detective needed it as much as the redhead did.

There was a smile on Matt's face again, his eyes lighting up with the wicked ideas that passed through his thoughts. "Keep touching me like that, I might forget." Hal growled in frustration, a strange noise coming from such a dainty looking girl. She removed the hand, taking her place back on the opposite end of the couch. "Sorry! Come on, give me a little slack. I told you Mello has me on a short leash. Guess he thinks that if he's got to be sexually frustrated, then so do I."

"What are you babbling about?" This was really getting tiresome. One day off without Near or Rester calling about the case, one day without Gevanni showing up at her doorstep because he was bored (read: lonely), and Hal had to baby-sit a deviant teenager. How unfair.

"You telling me you didn't sense any sexual tension between them?" The woman stared blankly, as if to ask, 'between who?'. "Damn, really? You are in the wrong line of work honey. Near and Mello obviously. I can't believe you don't see it. Ok, I didn't see it for a while, I joked about it, but I didn't think it'd ever actually happen. But then one night, Mello comes into our room, all happy and smiles, and when I tell him he looks like he just got fucked really well, he dives under the covers, won't come out until I tickle the hell out of him." The redhead laughed. "Ok, that sounded really gay, but I'm not, just in case you're wondering baby. Anyway, it takes me for fucking ever, but I finally get it out of him. They were fighting as usual, about this project they were forced to work on together, stupid fucking professor, then Near just kisses him. And, well, Mello was fourteen and Near was thirteen and then hormones were getting the better of them and, well, they did it.”

"They did...they were in a…sexual relationship?" Hal found herself somewhat unnerved by the images that popped into her head. She couldn't imagine Near hugging another living thing, let alone kissing, or engaging in sex. No. Not possible. And Mello, well, no, that would just be a shame. Hal shook her head. Aside from all that, they hated each other. Despised each other. Both of them were constantly threatening to kill the other. It just didn't make any sense.

"Uhh, more than that. They were in love. Like, really in love. It might have worked too, even if it is really, really...icky. But Near fucked up big time. The little prick broke Mello's heart." Matt threw his arms open, gesturing wildly. Ta da, the big finish. Now to the important part. "So, you and I, my dear, have got to get them to like each other again."

"Pardon me? Just why the hell would we do that? You've made it perfectly clear that that is a terrible idea." This was going to be a long night. Did Matt have to explain everything to this girl? Maybe she wasn't as smart as she looked.

"Notice how Near isn't really getting anywhere in the case?" The blond opened her mouth to disagree, but Matt held a hand against it, silencing whatever useless argument she was about to make. "Don't even. You all are sitting on your asses making prank phone calls. Here's where I tell you what mad skills I have, by saying that I've got audio surveillance installed. I've been listening, and Near is just dicking around. He's losing interest. And Mello just keeps coming up with these ridiculous ideas that are probably going to get us both killed. The thing about them is that they're two halves of L, one is very careful and cautious and has really great ideas, but no drive or courage to carry them out. The other is just as bad, and I hate to talk shit about my buddy, but as smart as he is, he's just too impatient, too ready to charge in and start busting heads without a plan. We need them working together to solve this. And the only way to do that is to get them to start fucking again."

"Are you insane? They'll kill each other." Hal stood, crossing the room to the door. "I think you should leave now."

"Alright, let's put it this way. If Near and Mello don't resolve this shit between them, they're both going to die. They're too busy hating each other to focus, and it's going to get them both killed. Now, I've mentioned Wammy's House already, and you know how it works. If Near dies, Mello gets the title. But if Near dies, Mello is going right after him. They might hate each other, but they're still in love. So much that their fates depend on one another. Want to know who gets to be L when they die? The third in line is me. I was right behind Mello in scores. You really want me to be your new boss? Just imagine how much more Mondays would suck." The redhead winked. Hal was just staring at him, her blue eyes impossibly wide, her mouth falling open in a little 'o'. Yeah, she definitely hated this idea. "It's true. Ask them if you don't believe me. If we don't get them fucking again, the fate of the free world rests in my hands."

"Ok! Alright, ok. We'll do it. What do you suggest we do?" Matt stood, gathering his things, lacing up his boots.

"It's going to be rough. We'll have to figure out a way to disarm them. We'll probably have to lock them away together, so neither of them can run." Matt plotted silently for a few moments, then his green eyes lit up with one forgotten detail. "Oh! We'll probably need to get some condoms. Errr, well, I don't know if they ever used them, but, you know. I don't want Mello to get pregnant." The redhead grinned, waiting for the joke to sink in.

"Why would...wait, you don't mean...oh my god." Matt laughed hysterically as he watched the woman try to wrap her mind around the fact that Mello was the 'girl' in the relationship.

"Yeah, that's right. Sorry to burst your bubble, but Mello isn't just gay. He takes it. From Near. I know, I had issues with it at first too. But I'm over it now. I just want them to be happy so we don't all get killed."