When hearts Collide

I do not own D. Grayman or any of it’s associated characters, nor do I own any songs used within this fic. I do not make any money off of these works of fiction, they are for entertainment only.

Chapter Two - Play Dead

And boys are so cold
They speak without meaning
The only time they talk is in their sleep
And girls are a bore
Their touch without feeling
Their secrets always far too grim to keep
And up until now
You've lived in their shadows trying hard to please them
But they'll never see
And they'll never hear you...tonight

Thinking hurts and thoughts don't rhyme
To those of us who've never tried
To find a face behind our lipstick smiles
And as our pretty faces die
Our plastic hearts will wonder why
The make-up just won't hide the scars of time

And boys are so cruel
So don't let them find you...tonight
And girls are so vain
So put them behind you...tonight
I'll cast you a spell
A magic where everyone plays dead forever
And you'll never smile
There's nothing inside you...tonight

Thinking hurts and thoughts don't rhyme
To those of us who've never tried
To find a face behind our lipstick smiles
And as our pretty faces die
Our plastic hearts will wonder why
The make-up just won't hide the scars of time

Play Dead - The birthday Massacre

Oddly enough it hadn’t taken much to convince the headstrong woman to accompany him back to headquarters. She had two conditions which were readily accepted. First, her beloved pets would be cared for by the local finders, as would her house, and she would have full control over the training development.

Since that had been Komui’s intention from the start, Allen had no qualms in promising that. She had packed what few things she had and left without a backward glance. Allen wondered how someone as bright and clearly liked as Aleia could simply leave like that.

But then, everyone had their own reasons.

Aleia tried to make herself understand why she was doing this. Aside from helping people, the people who were destroying the ones that hurt her.

Was she perhaps growing tired o her self-imposed exile?

Was she missing the cohesion of a unit so badly?

All were viable reasons and she could safely argue any one of them. The one she didn’t wish to argue was a dark haired man that smelled of tangerine leaves, coriander, green leaves and spice. Odd how a scent could imprint itself so swiftly.

No she certainly had no interest in seeing the foul tempered man again.

But she did.

Secretly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upon arrival at the Order she was taken to see Helvaska but none of the innocence reacted to her. She was not to be an Exorcist. She was unaffected by this as that had not been her intent in coming.

She was taken to the medical facilities they had and promptly made of list of additional medications and various other items she felt they lacked.

Komui merely signed the approvals and watched as she quickly whipped the medical wings into shape. She updated the filing system and even catalogued each person by medical need. She jotted down notes after observing the medics on duty and within two weeks she submitted a full report to Komui.

“It isn’t that you don’t have good medics” she told him plainly, “You simply don’t have enough. You need a full contingent on staff here, for the emergencies that cannot be handled in the field. Depending on local hospitals in host nations will cause trouble eventually. The standard of care can be inadequate.”

He nodded his agreement, for they had encountered this before.

“Additionally” she continued, “You will need to either cross train your Finders as medics or find other people to act as medics. Since the Finders are so vital in supporting the Exorcists I doubt you want to pile additional work on them.”

Again he nodded. “I can have seventy people here within the week to take up medical training. Can you handle such a load?”

“Will that be enough?” she countered, “I would prefer that every team have at least two medics with them at all times.”

He nodded, “It will suffice. You will have your two per team.”

She nodded, “Then lets train them.”

She turned to leave but Komui stopped her, “Aleia..”

She turned back to face the man, “Yes?”

“Why did you become a medic? It is not your true passion, anyone can see. You are an analyst, a profiler.”

Her eyes darkened fractionally and Komui guessed his question cause her pain.

“I…lost my... team.”

And with that, she was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Six months later, the Order fielded their medics with great results. Aleia was vastly satisfied and took pride in her work. However, with a training regimen in place and skilled healers to see to it, there was little for her to do anymore.

She sought out Komui some time later, “I am bored.”

“Do you want to go shopping?” he asked cheerfully.

She blinked at him in question , “Why the hell would I want to do that Komui?” she asked.

The supervisor looked crestfallen, “Well whenever my sweet Lenalee gets bored she always go shopping.” he replied as though this was the answer to everything.

Aleia chuckled, “You know… one day you will have to let her go.”

Komui burst into tears, “No! Never! Not my Lenalee, not to those octopuses outside!”

His outburst lasted for several minutes while he went on about the merits of brotherly love and his hatred for octopi.

Aleia waited patiently through the storm. Finally, face wet, hat askew, Komui looked up at her. “You are evil you know”.

She nodded with a smile, “But you will place me on a team anyway.”

He sighed, “At least for now” he clarified, shuffling through his paperwork. There had been something about a transfer here earlier. “Ah. Here!”

He slide the manilla packet across the desk to her, “This will be your new team.”

She flipped it open and froze, “Roland the Finder, William the medical specialist and ……Kanda?”

Komui nodded, “The second medic said Kanda was difficult to work with. You will see that when you meet him. He is for lack of a better way to explain, emotionally stunted.”

That was a gentle euphamism.

She said nothing, not letting on that she knew him. “Very well.”

She walked down the hallway to get her field uniform mulling over these events. Kanda was difficult, she had first hand knowledge of that. However he healed much faster than anyone she’d ever seen and she desperately wanted to study that facet of him.

She was curious about him. Had been from the first moment. She wasn’t about to put up with his crap however.

This was going to be disastrous.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following evening she entered the dining area to see that Kanda was sitting at a table by himself. She knew that this was a common practice from the chatter of others in the Order. She rarely ate here, her meals often brought to her lab. Workaholic that she was.

Well, she thought grimly, taking her tray in hand, that would change tonight.

She made her way to his table and sat down. She noted the tension in him as she slid into place.

The room had gone strangely quiet and Kanda had yet to look at her.

“New guy.” he said suddenly, quietly, “Go sit somewhere else.”

She said nothing, merely lifted her juice and took a drink. Paying him little attention.

“Oi.” he growled, “This is my table, I don’t eat with Finders and Medics.”

She knew that everyone was staring and cocked her head to the side, “Is that so?”

He stiffened at her voice. A woman. Couldn't be.... THAT woman?

Slowly he turned to look at her and she popped a berry in her mouth and gave him a pinky wave over her fork. “Nice to see you again too Kanda.”

His dark eyes went wide for a moment and then narrowed again, “You.”

“Mm. Me”

Kanda leaned forward, forgotten was his desire to make the newcomer leave.

“What are you doing here?”

She gestured to her tray. “Eating.”

He growled softly, “Why are you here at the Order?”

More than a few people were watching raptly now.

She pointed her chin at the medics band on her arm, “I’m head of Medical Practices here. And, as of an hour ago; your new team medic.”

Kanda clenched his fists, “Wrong" he said emphatically, "I don’t need another damn whining medic to look after. And certainly not a woman.”

Most women were prone to emotional outbursts and were fragile. He needed that like he needed a lobotomy.

Her green eyes lit with fire. A fire he had seen once before. Years ago. It made a strange tightness form in his chest and elsewhere. But he wouldn't acknowledge that.

“You have a problem with boobs..Kaandaa?” she sang at him. She crossed her arms over her middle, making said appendages plump and rise. She graced him with a feline smile as his eyes flickered downwards and then back up.

He spluttered for a moment, “I don’t. I just don’t want the hassle.”

“Neither do I. You do your thing, I’ll do mine. I see that you had a guy named Marcos before. Complete whiner. Its why you get me. Got it?”

“I don’t take orders from you.” he growled coldly, rising to his feet now.

She rose along with him, meeting his mean glare equally. “And I don’t take orders from you either ...princess.” she spat.

His hand flashed out and grasped the front of her tunic, drawing her closer, “Don’t speak to me that way.” His nose nearly brushed hers.

His nearness sending sparks of awareness racing through her. His grip wasn't painful, a few chairs scraped the floor and she knew they were about to have intervention.

She winked at him, reaching up to tweak his nose “Watch out Kanda, you might melt that icicle up your ass and be a person if you keep on this way. Wanna fight? Oh, lets go.” She practically purred to him.

His eyes widened as he felt himself drawn into those intelligent green orbs. The pupils large and hypnotic.

He loosened his grip, letting her feet flatten to the floor once more gently. He slowly straightened, his eyes filled with conflicting emotions. "I don't....fight with women" he said quietly. Then he turned and walked away.

That damn woman! How dare she challenge him like that? Call him out in front of everyone! That little brat, she didn’t even reach his shoulder and she was going to talk like she was his equal in battle!.

Running an irritated hand through his hair he made his way to his room. From behind him, he heard someone asking if she was ok. Of course she was! He hadn't hurt her, hadn't even startled her. Damn her and her nearness. He should have been telling her off soundly, but instead he was noticing how nice she smelled.

Why did she have to be here? Why did she have to smell like that? Why did she have to goad him? Why the hell were his pants so tight?

He flopped onto his bed and stared at his ceiling, willing the aching hardness of his groin to vanish.

Much like the the contrary woman in question, it refused to obey.

Kanda wondered briefly what she tasted like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day she sat with him again. He ignored her. She ignored him. The dining hall was eerily quiet.

Aleia felt like a bug on display for curious eyes. Why the hell couldn't they let them hash it out alone?

The next day she sat with him again. He ignored her. She chatted on and on about hair care products. Stopping to ask him where he purchased his, the proceeded to tell him that soap wasn't good for his hair.

Just who the hell had she been talking to?

The next day she sat with him again. He ignored her. She flicked a grape at him. He looked appalled.

Aleia knew better than to tease someone as volatile as Kanda, but with his nearly perfect control he was so much fun.

The next day she sat with him again. He ignored her. She copied every damn thing he did. Even mimicking the way he sprinkled green onions on his soba when she was damn well not having any.

It irritated him so much he snapped his chopsticks in half and was about to tell her off when she sweetly offered him a spare set.

He took them instead. Damn woman.

The next day she sat with him again. He ignored her. She stared at him. Just stared with a smug look on her face. He got up and left, his tray nearly untouched.

She was up to something. He knew it.

The next day she sat with him again. He glared at her. It was Sunday after all, he had to change things up.

"Can't play dead forever Kanda" she said sweetly.

By week two, there was still no thawing of the proverbial ice but the hostile intent was no longer there. And just when Aleia felt he was a lost cause, a small break appeared.

When she sat down, he moved his tray, minutely to the left to give her more room near the wall. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye to see him staring resolutely at his soba. Speaking in a near whisper she said to him in his own language, “Arigato.”

He said nothing but she noticed that he didn’t leave the table until her plate was empty, though his own had long been finished. Then he rose and walked from the hall, she stared after him for a moment.

“What am I going to do with you Kanda?”

Teams should be close. They were like the family you built for yourself. Hers had been that way and she missed it. Could Kanda ever be that way?

That night she read his file. His lifespan was finite. Bound to a Lotus blossom. He was never sick and rarely wounded, however those wounds he had sustained should have killed him.

She was dying to ask him, but knew he wouldn’t tell her.

Not yet anyway.

As wrenching as it was to read about him, she found many things answered there. He saw himself as transient. Just like the people around him. Rather than cherish the bonds of those close to him, he refrained from creating any. As though in such a way, he could protect himself and those around him from loss.

She wanted to scream at the injustice of it all. The way that he forced himself to live his life like a cold shadow because deep down he was afraid. Afraid to feel something and lose it. Afraid that someone might mourn him when he was gone.

She struggled to piece together the clues that would tell her who ‘that’ person was, and how she could free him from such a horrible fate. There was nothing. Nothing.

So she wept softly instead, for him. Prayed to any God that would hear her, to let Kanda live. Everyone deserved to love and be loved, and live to enjoy it.

Didn’t they?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kanda lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. His mind spinning rapidly.

Aleia.

Aleia was a strange person he mused. He had never really been kind to her, even though she helped him. She was never frightened away by his coldness. No, she entrenched herself on the front line of it.

Even if he never spoke to her, she always had a soft smile to share. Or a verbal lashing when provoked. Still, the very presence of her soothed him somehow, even as she infuriated him. Why the hell couldn't her image leave him?

Why did the sight of a red head always make him glance to see? Make him wish that he would see her on the street somewhere. That she would gift him with that heated, knowing smile.

Why did gazing at new leaves remind him of a pale face in the moonlight?

She wasn’t soft spoken or meek, submissive. None of the values that his traditions placed on a woman. She was fire and temper and sorrowful eyes when she thought no one was looking. She pressed and goaded and all but demanded that he come out of his shell and interact. She was alive in a way that he refused to allow himself to be.

Why couldn’t she just go away?

But even as he wondered it, her laughing visage appeared sharp and perfect in his mind’s eye. He groaned and rolled over trying to banish her from his thoughts. Her and her sweet scent.

But she refused to leave him. With a curse he rolled onto his back and thumbed the button his pants open.

"Damn you anyway" he muttered as he slid his hand to the heavy length waiting for him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aleia was in the empty chamber, the tall bag hanging from the ceiling shook violently under the force of her blows. Her hits and kicks were brutal and plentiful. She was working out her frustrations when Kanda appeared in the doorway.

She didn’t notice him and he took a moment to watch her. Her kicks were flawless, and he noted that she struck with the heel of her hand rather than her fist. Her whole body following the line of that hit.

Those little fingers would probably break with one solid punch.

Odd, he would not have taken her for a hand to hand fighter. She was just…so …small. However it was clear to him that she had trained very hard,for her style was aggressive and fluid and nearly perfect. Nearly.

His keen eyes missing nothing.

He noticed that her feet were not properly positioned for maximum effect and he called out to her. “Your kicks aren’t bad, even if those gimpy little legs of yours don’t have any reach. Widen your stance.”

Aleia nearly fell over in mid-blow, whirling to find the swordsman a foot away. Her hands barely reacting in time to keep the swinging bag from hitting her. Color was high in her cheeks and she was dusted with the light sheen of sweat. Her green eyes were wide in shock at his presence.

She recovered swiftly enough. “Gimpy legs?” she demanded.

He nodded, feeling that mean streak of his grow by a mile. “Miniscule. Dwarfish.” He crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

How dare he? He stood there looking refined, rested, perfect...damn near edible. And he taunted her, mocked her! She wouldn’t have it.

She flew at him with a shriek of outrage and he dodged her blows, spinning as he crouched to try and take her legs out from under her. She leapt upwards, tucking her body to spin in the air, landing lightly behind him. She cuffed the side of his head and sprang backwards even as his own, long leg swept outward.

For long minutes they sparred and though she was smaller than he, she was fast and powerful enough to make him feel her blows. Her cheeks were red from her exertions and soon her breast heaved for want of air.

When she began to tire, he swept his leg in a smooth motion that took her to the floor. However before he could gloat, she had pulled him down, reversed their positions, straddled him and was trying to choke him with his collar.

He arched his back to unseat her and then rolled, pinning her beneath him.

Time stopped.

Dark gray eyes, nearly black, met greener than green.

Faces close, labored breaths mingling.

Heat seeping through clothing.

She struggled for a moment until Kanda let her have his weight. Slowly pressing in on her, he heard her breath leave her parted lips.

Her soft breasts flattened against the weight of his chest, groins meeting through the barrier of cloth.

She blinked and he noticed that the pupils of her eyes were slightly larger now.

She licked her lips, suddenly feeling very uncertain beneath him. It had been years since anyone had pinned her like this. Years since she had cradled a man between her thighs.

She wanted to use her legs to squeeze the breath from him. She moved slightly intent on doing just that. However Kanda had shifted his hips to press her tightly to the hard wooden floor. Locking them pelvis to pelvis.

She felt the telltale stirring of his body. So he was human after all.

She reached up to grab him, but he pinned her hands on either side her head. His strength far outmatching hers.

Their faces nearly touched.

He stared down at her, finding her quite lovely in that moment, “I win” he told her smugly. His face no longer marred by his customary frown. No, it was lit with victorious arrogance. Damn him for wearing it so well.

She wriggled a hand loose and tried to hit him, he grabbed that small wrist in his palm and slammed it to the floor above her head. He held it there, watching her wince under the impact. “In my country the winner can demand a prize from the loser.”

She took a slow, even breath. “Like what?” It came out softly, not at all challenging as she had wanted it to.

“A life. Servitude. A deed. I think I know just the one to demand.”

“Like it or not I will be your medic. You can’t change that.”

His eyes bored into hers, “I can’t. Yet.” His grip on her wrist was no longer hard. His thumb tracing the pulsepoint. Did he know what he was doing to her senses?

She stilled as he brought his face closer to hers. Face angling.

Oh my God! Was he going to kiss her?

“My request” he said, his voice dropping to velvet tones, his nose ghosting near her jaw, “Is for you…”

Her body lifted slightly, falling under the spell of his voice and his heat. “Yes?”

“To learn how to properly place your feet when you fight.” he murmured a breath away from her lips, “I hate it when people screw up details.”

Then he was off of her and moving to begin his kata.

She lay there stunned a for a moment. Blinking owlishly at the ceiling. “Why you…” she growled.

He glanced over his shoulder at her, “Something wrong?” he asked innocently, but that smirk.

Oh how she wanted to slap that smirk right off his face. And how she wanted to drag him back to her to finish what he'd started.

That night she dreamt of him. Of smooth silken hair and the hot press of flesh. She woke panting and flushed, somehow knowing he would be a demanding lover.

"Damn you anyway" she panted into the darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following night at dinner, she took her place beside the stoic Exorcist. Neither speaking a word, but the tension was nearly gone and the conversation around them continued on.

They were halfway done when a voice rang out across the hall. “Aleia!”

Two heads turned to see a young man with spiky red hair waving merrily.

“Lavi.” they said at once.

Aleia was on her feet and crossing the room, a large smile on her face. “Lavi!”

The red head swung her into his arms and laughed gaily as he spun around, making the small woman clutch to him for support before he set her gently down.

“How are you?” he asked, “It’s been a while.”

She cupped his face in her palms, eyes warm and wide as she took in the sight of him.

She nodded, “It has yes, I was wondering when you and Bookman might come around again. I have some new studies that you might like.”

He nodded, scratching at the back of his head, “Well, the panda is with Komui right now, but after we get something to eat, we can come by your office. There is alot to catch up on.”

“She’s busy”.

Both red heads turned to see Kanda rising to his feet.

“Yu!” Lavi called out, draping an arm around Aleia.

“I told you not to call me that. I said she is busy”. Why Kanda disliked seeing Lavi act so familiarly with Aleia was not something he wanted to consider right now. He just wanted that arm off of her.

“I just got back I wanted to see her. And don’t be like that Yu-Chan!”

“Like I said, she’s busy.”

“I am?” she asked.

He nodded, “You need to meditate.”

She blinked at him then at Lavi. Her confusion was clear. “I don’t really mediate.”

He snorted, “Of course you don’t. That’s why your energy is off balance when you fight. You will meditate.” He folded his arms across his chest looking as though he smelled something bad.

Aleia was torn, she wanted to see Lavi and Bookman, but she also needed to be closer to Kanda if she was ever going to help him. This was the first time he had really sought her presence.

Turning her eyes back to Lavi she smiled softly, “You guys must be tired. Eat and rest tonight, we have all day tomorrow.”

Lavi winked, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek, “Sure then. You can explain all this to me then.”

Aleia looked over to see Kanda glaring at the other man. “Kanda?”

He gave a small tch and turned to leave the hall, “Hurry up Aka, I don’t have all night.”

Aka? Red? “I have a name you know.”

“Hn.”

Lavi grinned as he watched them go. Something told him Kanda was a little bit jealous. Oh this was going to be fun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Sit there.” Kanda pointed to a place beside him. “Like this.”

Aleia watched him fold his legs and relax his body. She copied the pose and then he led her through the breathing techniques.

Soon they were meditating. Or perhaps he was and she was just zoning out. Her mind jumping from one thing to another. It was very hard to sit still and not fidget. She knew that he did this every night that he could.

What she didn’t know was how. This was plain boring. Her mind began to wander.

“You aren’t concentrating.” he snapped at her from the side.

She jolted feeling guilty, “I don’t know what to concentrate on.” she muttered at the dark haired man.

He gave a long suffering sigh, all for her benefit she knew. “Oneness. With everything.”

She snorted then, tried to hold back her laughter.

He glared at her, “What are you laughing at?”

“You. Oneness. You aren’t at peace with anyone or anything.”

He glowered at her, “That is why we mediate to find the common bond that will help us achieve oneness. It allows you to be fluid when you fight understanding the nature of those around you.” His tone was dreadfully serious.

She tried to look contrite, “Right. Sorry, sorry.” She closed her eyes again and tried to think of oneness. However the only oneness that came to mind involved a crabby exorcist with dark hair. She stifled a groan at the images her mind supplied.

Why the hell was she thinking about THAT with HIM. He was arrogant and cold and socially retarded, yes, he was all of those things. But he was strong and handsome and all that bad personality was wrapped in a body built for sin.

She tried to switch her thoughts to Lavi, but ended up getting sidetracked by a mental argument of how to choose. In the end she had both in her mind. God, she wanted this night to be over!

Yes it was official. Meditation sucked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night saw the beginning of a strange ritual they began. He came to her room, intent on laying down his way of doing things when on mission. She countered with several expectations of her own.

While she gave him a fair peice of her mind, he stared around her room.

Though it was the same size as his own, it was different.

She'd scrubbed the floor and walls and added shelves and books, a few photographs. Two overstuffed chairs sat facing each other across the room. It was a room that invited laziness he decided. His room carried no such personal touches. Only the lotus blossom and his wide bed.

"Are you listening?" she demanded, hands on hips, towering over him as he slouched in a chair.

He blinked up at her, "Not really"

"What?"

"Your room." he said then and she blinked down at him.

"My room?" Confusion was apparent on her face.

He nodded, as he rose, "I like yours better"

She stood stunned, "Well, thanks... I think."

"Hn"

The following night he returned, though he said very little to her. Just sat, and the third night he flopped down her bed, hogging most of the space.

"Hey! No one said you can sleep in here!"

He yawned, looking quite exhausted, "No one said I couldn't. Besides...damn Moyashi damaged my wall."

She was about to tell him off soundly, when she noticed just how tired he appeared.

"Well... at least move over." she said grudgingly. She could share her room for a night or two until his wall was fixed.

"Women sleep near the wall."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, bristling at the already dozing man.

"Safe.... that way." His voice a soft, sleepy murmur.

Her expression softened, and with a sigh she replied, "Fine. Just move a little."

She was rather shocked when he did move, letting her crawl in between him and the wall. All too soon she was lulled by the soft sound of his breathing and his now familiar scent.

She barely woke when he curled his long body around her, tugging her close in his sleep.