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The Lightness of Being	By : SuKiss Category: +G to L > Hana Yori Dango Views: 4978 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own HYD and make no profit from this story.

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“I cannot believe I’m doing this,” Tsukasa fumed.

For more than a week, all he had thought about was her. For ten long nights he had held firm against going back to see her, denied himself the feel of her body along his, hearing her cries, thinking each night would be the last he would crave her.

He had examined himself after returning home, furiously questioning what had happened to him, how a peasant was able to penetrate through his rigid fastidiousness. When he had gone out with his friends, he had scrutinized the women who had followed them, each beautifully dressed with exquisite faces and forms, and had doubted how he had been tempted by such an ordinary female.

He was not a man who had needed women before; a man of his stature, women flocked to him like so many brightly colored squawking birds, more interested in the tidbits he fed them than anything else. He had limited use, limited patience for that behavior, and fleeting appeal, momentary pleasure which was as promptly forgotten had been the extent of his experiences – until little over a week ago.

Last night as he lay sleepless yet again trying to forget her, he had speculated why she had started it. What had she been thinking when she had kissed him? He could discern no answers other than to feel ensnared by this, this siren who had shown him the delight of her body and drugged his mind.

“Now,” he smirked sarcastically to himself, “now, I can’t even control my own head.” He stomped on the gas, the engine of the Mercedes roaring as it tore down the silent stretch of road, furious with her, with himself but knowing that he had to do this, he had to go back.

Shortly, he turned into the familiar dusty parking area. As he opened the door, Tsukasa wondered what he would do if she wasn’t at the dock. “Goddamnit,” he cursed, but slammed the door shut after he had emerged. He would find her, he had to.

Thrusting his keys into his pocket, he strode past the vendors to the dock entrance. As he turned into the wooden dock, the sun’s glare reflecting off of the shimmering water caught his eye. Lifting up a hand for shade, he scanned the waterways. Most of the fisherman had returned by now, their boats tied up and down the docks, cluttering his view.

He strode down the main dock, feeling his heart drumming in his chest. “Goddamnit,” he muttered again, then stopped. Half hidden between two lanky skiffs, he saw a skein of glossy brown hair swinging. His heart increased its pounding, blood drumming in his ears as he moved towards it. He saw her, throwing some lines into her boat from the dock; she was absorbed in her activity and did not notice his approach at all. Standing before her, thoughts of any other women vanished.  She was lovely. Her small, tight body working lithely, her hair shining in the sun. Desire clawed through his belly, more furious than the last after more than a week of denial, and unable to stand in silence any more, he cleared his throat. She looked up in surprise.

Tsukasa felt an uncertainty foreign to him. “What if it hadn’t meant anything to her?” he thought, sudden acid roiling in his stomach.

“I, uh, b-”

He was interrupted by an armful of girl and the crash of soft lips against his own. Acting on instinct alone, he crushed her to him, his tongue demanding entrance into her mouth.

Finally…

Relief washed over him as he was assaulted by the spicy taste of her, the taste he had hungered after for ten long nights and swore for depriving himself of her for this long.

“Oh!” She broke the kiss off to breathe in air, her hands pressed against his chest.

“Where can we go?” he panted.

“There is nowhere good around here,” she huffed. Her lips were red from his kisses, and the insane lust he had felt for her one week ago surged through him, crashing into his heart and ripping the breath from his lungs. He needed to crush her lips beneath his and swooped his head down to swallow her once more.

Suddenly, Tsukasa remembered the keys Rui had left; they were still in his car after the first time they had come. He broke apart, grinning as he saw her dazed expression. “We can go to the island house. We just have to find it.”

“Oh yes, Chiaki-san told me which island it was after you had left; but what about your friend? Will he mind if we go there?”

“He won’t care,” Tsukasa replied arrogantly, caressing her soft bottom.

Tsukushi giggled, the sound causing his cock to twitch. Clenching her hair in his fist, he kissed her roughly, relishing in the small gasps she made as he drove his tongue into her mouth. He couldn’t stop kissing her, the intoxicating scent of her pulsating in his mind impatiently. When they broke apart, Tsukushi slid down along his body, a dark blush blooming along her cheeks.

“I think we had better go,” she said, her voice trembling. “Now.”

Mesmerized by the shining in her eyes, Tsukasa could only nod in response. With difficulty, he tore his eyes from hers and sprinted back to his car. After he grabbed the keys, they launched the skiff towards the Hanazawa guest house.

When they had slid out from the harbor, Tsukasa paused to examine her in the light of the sun, his eyes narrowed on her figure moving across the skiff. She slid on graceful feet around the boat, unafraid of hard work, her hair gleaming in the sun. He stared fiercely at her, a slight grimace forming.  What the hell was this feeling that was consuming him? This raw need to come back, to find her…and take her.

Oblivious to the nature of his thoughts, she turned to him, the sun shining behind her, and smiled at him. “I’m glad you came,” she murmured. He swallowed hard and looked away. If he kept staring at her, he would take her where she stood and hell if he was going to fuck her in her boat again.

Within the space of a half hour they had reached the island the Hanazawa family owned. The house was built a few yards out from the beach in a modern style; as they went in, Tsukushi’s eyes widened at the European style furnishings. It looked freshly cleaned and laid out and Tsukasa surmised that Rui had sent a cleaning team over already.

“Oh wow,” she enthused, “everything is so nice and neat! It’s like a resort villa.”

Tsukasa was only half paying attention, intent on watching Tsukushi who flitted about examining the villa. He could smell her, the scent of fresh air mixed with the wildness of the ocean tempting him, dragging him ever closer to her. As he approached her, as the exotic fragrance of her clouded his mind, his mouth watered for her…for the taste of her.

He grabbed her in mid-praise and flinging chairs aside, sprawled her out on the teak dining table next to them ignoring her gasp of surprise.

“Tsukasa!” she exclaimed as landed with a harsh smack. He loomed over her, hastily undoing the zipper on her denim shorts. Her eyes were rounded in shock, her jaw unhinged at his brutal demands.

He ripped her shorts off along with her knickers, tossing them over his shoulders. Skimming his fingers lightly along her smooth legs, he parted her slim thighs, sinking his head in between.

“Oh,” she breathed a strangled whimper, realizing what he sought. Tsukasa gave her a wicked smile and dipped his head forward, placing his lips against her left knee. His lips moving against her skin, he marveled in the satiny soft skin.

“She is divine,” he thought, caught up in the dark rising of lust, a violent urge within him causing him to bite down and mark her as his. She squealed in shock, her fingers reaching out to tug on his black curls. With a smile against her skin, Tsukasa slid his lips over the wounded skin, soothing the ache he had caused her. Tsukushi’s eyelids dropped as he kissed his way up her thigh, at times gently biting and licking his way to her core.

When he had reached the split of her pussy, he swiped his tongue against her slit. She convulsed, unprepared for the shock of pleasure. Lifting his head up, he gave her a devilish smirk.

“Scared?” he taunted.

“No,” she spat, annoyed that he was laughing at her. She tried to fold her legs together, forcing him off of her, but he refused to allow it. His fingers like manacles around her slight ankles, he threw her legs over his shoulders. As he came nearer, Tsukushi became more agitated, her fingers finding his arms braced on either side of her hips, and dug them into his wrists. With a colossal smirk, he returned to his goal, tonguing her soft skin. Strangling a gasp, Tsukushi picked her head up to watch him find and lavish her clit with warm kisses.

“Ohhh, Tsukasa,” she whimpered. His tongue traveled lower from her clit, dipping into her. He could taste her on his tongue, the warmth of her response and excitement exploding in his mouth.

“You taste delicious,” he rasped, “just like I knew you would. Just like you smell.”

“What?” she asked dazedly, her entire being concentrated on what he was doing between her thighs, her hands clutching frantically on his curls.

“Luscious,” he continued, before thrusting his tongue into her, licking along her walls. Her hips bucked back and he had to clamp his hands around her waist, imprisoning her inexorably before him.

“Tsukasa!” she wailed, her breaths tumbling out of her. “Oh my God!”

Tsukasa returned to her clit, thrumming it with the tip of his tongue. He weaved a path between the burning center of her and her clit, her hums of pleasure filling the air as he feasted on her. His dick was stone-hard with the silkiness of her coating his tongue, her soft cries and whimpers swirling about his ears, the feel of the bliss vibrating through her all crashing to fuel his own throbbing response.

“Oh, oh, oh,” she gasped, her breathing growing more torn and he knew she was close to climax. Stopping, he lifted himself to look down on her. She lay before him on the table, her hair tumbled about, her top pushed aside by her own hands, her breasts thrusting with the haste of her breathing, naked from the waist down. “Please,” she begged, tugging on his forearms, “please, Tsukasa!”

Yearning burned through him and he leant forward, his lips possessing hers with a savage kiss. She wrapped her hands around his head as his tongue invaded her mouth, as her own taste filled her. He rapidly undid the buckle to his khakis, wrenching them down along with his boxers as Tsukushi tore at the buttons on his shirt. His cock sprang out, engorged and red, fluid leaking from its tip, aching to be sheathed within her. Grasping her by the waist, he slowly inched down, pulling her until she was flush against him.

“Mmm,” she panted, her hands clutching at his forearms. Tsukasa began to thrust in and out, forcing her into his rhythm by sheer strength. The table began to shake underneath them as they were surrounded by the ecstasy that had engulfed them a mere week prior. Tsukasa could barely hold on, the leash of his control straining against the hot wetness of her, the delicate cries coming from her as she pleaded with him to release her. With a harsh bark from deep in his chest, he thrust forward, sinking over her, his elbows slamming against either side of her head as plunged into the depths of the succulent creature under him, his cock pounding against the opening of her womb and unloading his hot seed into her.

“What the fuck did I wait for? I should have been back here the next day,” he groaned, his release cresting through him. Tsukushi’s hands had found purchase on his shoulders and she dug her nails into him, the pain twisting wickedly with the pleasure riding through him.

”I wish you had,” she cried. “Ohhh,” she whimpered as her orgasm took her.

He watched in fascination as she shivered beneath him, her throat stretched, droplets of sweat clinging to her skin as she floated on the delight he had given to her. “She’s beautiful,” he marveled.  Beautiful.

With a deep sigh, he leaned in, placing soft kisses along her closed eyes while his hand curved along her jaw, his thumb dipping into her butterfly mouth. “Ahhh,” she gasped delightfully, still consumed by the tide of her bliss, her teeth biting down on his thumb in a sharp snap.

When she was able to stand, they went in search of the bedroom, their clothes strewn along the way. She scampered out of his grasp, forcing him to chase her laughing form around the bed, gasping when he caught her and tumbled her onto the wide bed. Her wild laughter, her gorgeous body, he was consumed with want for her, exploring every glossy, yielding inch before him, the sun dipping low in the window next to them as he devoured her.

It was late evening before Tsukasa realized how hungry he was but they searched the house in vain finding no food anywhere.

“Wait a second,” Tsukushi said, running out the door, clad only in Tsukasa’s shirt.

“Hey,” he called out after, watching her scampering across the beach to the dock where the skiff was stationed. “Crazy girl,” he scoffed, going after her. Before he was even half-way to the dock, she reemerged, coming towards him with a small package in her hand.

“Look,” she said eagerly. “I found some ramen,” holding the package up to him.

Tsukasa raised a brow at her, “Some what?”

Tsukushi rolled her eyes, “Ramen. They’re noodles.” She scoffed, “Don’t you know anything?”

Tsukasa shrugged, slightly irritated that she was mocking him. “Not commoner’s things.” He opened the door and thrust her inside.

He was surprised to feel her arms go around his waist, pulling him in. “So does this mean I’m your teacher on ‘common’ things?” she teased, her hands caressing along his back.

He pushed her backwards against the side of the entryway armoire, his fists crashing against either side of her head. “Hmm, maybe,” he commented, his lips hovering over hers.

Her eyes falling, Tsukushi swallowed, “Maybe?”

“It depends on how you cook,” he replied, straightening off of her and striding into the kitchen, getting his own back for her teasing.

“Ahh,” he heard her gasp of outrage and chuckled. “She is so easy to aggravate,” he thought, smirking as she stuck her tongue out at him. He was having more fun with her than he had had in a long time.

Flouncing past him to light the stove, she efficiently began cooking the packaged noodles as he lent against the counter, watching her. While she worked, she kept up a running monologue of why it was important to know about noodles and how to cook them when the world ended. He raised his brow at her back, wondering if she even believed the things coming out of her mouth.

“Done!” she chimed, shooing him to the table. As he was seating himself, Tsukushi placed a red bowl filled with noodles in broth, hot steam wafting up. She placed chopsticks next to him and went to retrieve her own bowl while he examined the contents of his bowl with a dubious look on his face. Tsukasa lifted some noodles between his chopsticks. “You want me to eat this?” he complained.

“Fine then, since you don’t want it, I’ll eat it,” she said calmly, reaching out for his bowl.

“Hey!” He yanked his bowl out of her reach. “Get your own noodle.”

She smiled at him and returned to her own bowl. He dug in, his widening after his first bite. “Hey, this is good!” he exclaimed, his chopsticks moving faster.

“See, commoners are good for something,” she teased.

After they had finished eating, she stood up, gathering his dish along with hers to wash and had turned when he abruptly grabbed her wrist.

“Thanks,” he said gruffly.

She looked at him, startled into silence. He let her go but she didn’t move away.

“Shit! Why did I say that?” Tsukasa cursed himself silently. To her he said, “It was the first time someone,” he paused, “actually a woman other than someone I’ve paid has cooked for me.”

She blinked at him in surprise. “No one has cooked for you? I mean, not even the women in your family or a girlfriend?”

He twisted away from the look in her eyes. “No,” he said roughly, “no one has done that for me.”

He stood up and, unable to meet the curiosity in her gaze, strode out of the room. After a few moments he heard the rush of water; with a sigh, he went outside, the cool night air breezing over him as he sprawled out in one of the large wooden deck chairs facing the sea.

A crescent moon lit the vast blackness of the water, both the moon and its twin in the water glimmering before him but he was blind to their beauty, his thoughts centered inward. He thought about his life, the barrenness of never ending days of the same and contemplated his return to this speck of nothing, his return to this girl. “Is this a sign of incipient madness?” he thought, remembering the compulsion that had seized him earlier, driving him out of Tokyo…to come back to her.

He heard the door shutting behind him and then the sand shifting under her steps. Silently, she came to him; he dragged his eyes away from the sea to look up at her and found her watching him with concern in her light brown eyes. He held out a hand to her and she took it, sliding gently into his lap. She placed both of her hands against his temples, kneading lightly. Closing his eyes to her relaxing touch, he felt her stop after a few moments, her hands drawing his head down so that her lips caught his own in a soft kiss. With one smooth motion, he lifted her up in his arms, breaking the kiss to rest his forehead against hers for a brief moment. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, burying her head in his neck and he carried her inside to their bed. As he laid her down, the moonlight glistening off her skin, her eyes wide and inviting, Tsukasa felt his heart clench.

“If this is madness,” Tsukasa thought, feeling Tsukushi’s warm arms wrap around him, feeling her tug him down, “then let me lose myself.”

Please…

The dawn, peeping shyly through the window, woke them in bed the next morning. Both finding they were ravenous, they decided to leave and quickly went through separate ablutions. After the explosion of emotions between them the previous night, Tsukasa remained quiet, noting Tsukushi also seemed more pensive. With little spoken between them, they rearranged the bed clothes and locked-up, boarding the skiff silently.

As they set off, Tsukasa turned to her, “What will you tell your parents?

“I radioed the harbor master yesterday to give them a message that I had a heavy ferry and would stay in my skiff.”

She didn’t say anything after that and Tsukasa turned away, a weight bearing down on his chest. She hadn’t mentioned anything about him coming back.  Did she not want him to return? He could feel himself scowl, his temper rising as she remained unusually reticent. Silently they made their way back to harbor, Tsukasa hopping out immediately when they had docked.

This was it, he thought, his heart clenching, but he forced the feeling into something he could handle: rage. “She is out of her mind if she thinks I’m going to leave quietly,” he thought angrily and prepared to browbeat her into seeing him again.

“Am I going to see you again?”

Spinning around, he saw her gazing straight up at him, only the slight wringing of her fingers betraying her internal tension. Relief crashed through him, relieving the cold numbness that had been spreading at the root of his anger. He stared at her for a moment, masking the burst of emotions with a nonchalance that he did not feel.

He reached out and wrenched her forward by the collar of her shirt, kissing her hard. As if lit on fire, she melted against him, her hands wrapping around his broad shoulders. Tsukasa broke the kiss, digging his wallet out of his pocket.

He unrolled a sheaf of bills and grabbing her hand, thrust them into her palm. She stared at them in surprise.

“You have to get some food,” he said gruffly. “Maybe some more of those noodles.”

She laughed and jumped up to hug him, astonishing him. He had barely wrapped his arms around her, when she gave a peck on his check and slipped down.

“Gosh, you’d better watch out before you acquire trashy tastes,” she said chirpily.

He grinned at her. “Whatever. I’m the one with class here.” Tsukasa walked off, smiling broadly as he heard her tinkling laugh following him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There is no excuse! I want those construction sites closed.” Tsukasa stared down his dark mahogany executive table, both sides lined with anxious appearing men. Some of them were hiding behind their colleagues, afraid to call notice to themselves.

“But, Doumyouji-sama, it will still take some months to complete-” the one who had spoken up stopped abruptly, turned to rock by the lashing glare of his boss.

“I don’t care what has to happen,” Tsukasa said in icily quiet tones, “those sites will be complete. Immediately.”

Several heads nodded simultaneously. “Yes, Doumyouji-sama,” said the same man who had spoken before, chastened.

Tsukasa glanced down at his watch; it was ten to four. He straightened up, “Fine, meeting adjourned.” He strode out of the room, a posse of men scurrying behind him, some clucking quietly about the brevity of the meeting. With quick steps, he returned to his suite of offices down the hall from the executive board room, oblivious to the conversations around him.

Striding past the outer entryway to his suite and into his PA’s office, Tsukasa barely missed stopping in time as one of the cleaning women accidently dropped a trashcan in front of him; collectively, the men behind him cringed, their breaths held for the explosion. He merely raised his brows in mild surprise, picking up the can and shoving the fallen papers inside.

“Here you go,” he said calmly, holding out the trashcan. The woman stared at him in shock, and then with alacrity accepted back her can with profuse apologies. The harem of men surrounding him all noticed this exchange, commenting amongst themselves as they dispersed that his moods had improved considerably of late.

Tsukasa, oblivious to the tidal wave of gossip he had created, went directly to his office. With focused concentration, he gathered his jacket, itching to leave because it was Friday and she would be waiting for him.

Tsukasa strode onto the elevator, pressing the button to the floor of the parking garage. As the doors quietly slid closed, Tsukasa gave a small grin. “What will she be doing this time?” he thought. The last few times he had gone to see her, she had been in the process of cooking something or other to feed him once he got there.

Without realizing it, he was whistling as he walked to his car. He swiftly maneuvered out of Tokyo, heading east. Tsukasa tapped the rhythm of the music filling his car on the steering wheel, his mind wandering over the events of the past few weeks. Since he had returned to her, he had gone back each successive weekend to the point where he left for Tokyo on Sunday and arrived in the village after work by Friday evening. They would spend the entire time together, almost exclusively at Rui’s place; the few times they managed to leave, they would spend sailing.

He had asked her what she was telling her parents. “Oh, I told them I was visiting a friend in a different village.”

“Won’t they notice your skiff missing?” he had asked. She had laughed, waving her hand. “They don’t even notice their own feet.”

As he neared the now familiar roads, his excitement intensified, his hands burning to bury themselves in her hair. It was now weeks since they had been seeing each other and he knew he was obsessed with her. From when he awoke to when he lay down, he would lust for her, his days distracted by constant thoughts of her, to the point...he paused in his musings, an image forming in his mind.

Tsukushi in his home, in Tokyo.

He swallowed harshly, forcing the image from his mind. He would ask her, he simply had to find the right time.

Nearing the parking area to the docks, he noticed the object of his thoughts not too far off in an animated conversation with a child. He parked and emerged from his car, realizing the kid that she was talking to was the same one he had run into that first day here.

“Hi,” she called, waving to him. They both held fishing poles in their hands; Tsukasa grinned.

“Are you going to work for your supper?”

She grinned back at him. “Yes and you are too!” Tsukushi gestured to the boy next to her, “Tsukasa this is Einsuke Shotaro. Shotaro this is Doumyouji Tsukasa.”

The boy, Shotaro, was practically bouncing in his eagerness, “Sir, sir! Come fishing with us,” he exclaimed, thrusting his fishing pole at Tsukasa. He took it from the boy and raised a questioning brow to Tsukushi.

She merely smiled at him and patted Shotaro on the back which sent him sprinting in the direction opposite to the docks, along the rocky shore. They went about twenty yards away, stopping on a low outcropping of rock. The boy talked nonstop, filling Tsukasa in on the details of his apple sales as he threw himself down, launching the fishing line in with gusto.

Tsukasa looked at Tsukushi who gently pushed him to sit next to the boy, placing the fishing pole in his hands. She instructed him on what to do and sat back as the boy and the man fished.

“You know, Tsukushi-neesan, you didn’t tell me how you know Sir?”

“Oh,” she said nonchalantly, “he’s just visiting here.”

Tsukasa stared at her through narrowed eyes, disturbed by the insouciance of her reply.   He was about to ask her about her comment when the boy suddenly sprang up as if a fit had seized him.

“Oh, I got one! I think it’s big too!” he exclaimed, hauling the pole back, apparently trying to drag the fish out of the water. Tsukushi ran behind him, helping him to focus on reeling the spool back as his catch tried desperately to escape.

Within seconds, they landed the fish, Shotaro leaving the pole in Tsukushi’s hands, jumping up and down in excitement. Tsukasa looked on, a smirk on his face at their antics until he felt a tug on his hands.

“Hey,” he called out, his grip tightening over the wooden pole. “I think I got one too!”

Tsukushi quickly dropped the pole in her hands and rushed to his side, steadying his grip on the pole as Tsukasa fought to pull back on the line.

“You think you can get away?” he shouted, “Not from me!”

“Yeah,” Shotaro hollered, “not from Sir!”

Tsukasa hauled the last bit of the trembling line in, a gray, glistening fish at the end of it squirming fiercely. After mutually admiring each others’ then their own catches, they watched a laughing Tsukushi cut the lines and hand over both to the boy. Tsukasa stood with Tsukushi, watching Shotaro run home, his fish dangling from their line in either hand.

“Bye,” Tsukushi called out, waving. She turned to him, a quiet look of happiness on her face. “Ready?” she asked.

He merely nodded his head and they walked back to the docks.

“Did you have fun?” she asked softly. He looked at her, her head down bent, her hair glowing in the last rays of the dying sun.

“Yes,” he said simply but truthfully, “I did.” She smiled at him and caught his hand, squeezing his fingers gently. It seemed no time at all before they arrived at the island and they made their way in, Tsukushi carrying a small package with her while he had their duffel bags.

She went directly to the kitchen, shooing him off to change from his work clothes. Walking back to the kitchen, he inhaled the savory fragrance of warm food. “I made stew,” she said proudly, seating him down and setting a bowl of beef stew before him. He ate hungrily, answering her questions about his week and expressing his views on the trials her mother put her through. When he was finished, he sat still, watching the expressions run through her face as she chattered on. After a few moments, she seemed to become aware that he was silent and looked up at him.

“Tsukasa?” she questioned, her eyes concerned.

Something shifted within him at that look, something indefinable and he felt he had to move, to act before it, whatever it was, overwhelmed him.

For so long, there had been no one, no one to ask about him, no one to care for, no one to-

He broke off the thought desperately, lunging forward and crushing her lips under his.

He felt different; he knew she realized it in that kiss. Her pupils dilating, she tried to speak, “Tsuk-” he swallowed his name off her lips, plunging his tongue into her mouth, drinking her in. He grabbed at her roughly, clenching her soft body to his. They staggered to the bedroom, Tsukasa ripping off her clothes as they went. He kissed every smooth inch of her, his arousal rocketing as she shivered under him.

“Oh,” she exclaimed in a delicious gasp. He wanted to inhale her, to join and mingle with her, to carry her scent on him so that when he was away from her, he could still smell her. He wanted to devour her, to consume her into his body, into his skin--to bind with her so tightly, she could never part from him. It was driving him mad--these things he felt for her. After he sated his desire and her own, he watched her sleep, his fingers gently sliding through the silky hair at her temple. In all his life, he had never felt this way before about another human being-this all-consuming greed. It made him vulnerable and soft, things he hadn’t been in a long time…if ever. He wanted to whisper gently to her, wanted her say things back to him, but would she? He drew his name against the tender skin at her temple, his big finger rustling the fine hair.

She softly giggled, the sound breaking into his thoughts.

“You’re tickling,” she sighed, curling her body towards him.

“Well, all you’re doing is sleeping,” he pouted. “Reminds me of Rui.”

“Oh, Rui is beautiful…” Tsukushi said sleepily.

Tsukasa froze, a lance of jealousy springing white-hot in his chest. “What?”

But she had fallen back into sleep, her breathing deep and rhythmic. Tsukasa leaned back, his heart pounding. “I must have heard wrong,” he thought, rubbing a hand through his hair. But the rest of the night he slept fitfully, angry at the lacerating jealousy coursing through him at the mere mention of another man’s name from Tsukushi’s lips.

The next morning he woke late, missing her warmth in bed. He found her cleaning in the kitchen and dragged her back to bed intent on enjoying his time with her. He refused to think on what she had said the night before, blocking the sickening note of fear that had crawled into him, unable to ask her what she had said.

She was very tired the next day as they returned to the village. Tsukasa stared at her, concerned. “You need to eat more!” he yelled. “What are you doing, living on a seaweed diet?”

The sun was beginning to set and he stood behind his car door, about to get in. She clung to the top, eyelids drooping a bit, hair wisping out with the cool breeze. He paused in his lecturing when she yawned widely and blinked wearily up at him. He bent his head, the force of his kiss thrusting her back a bit.

Raising his head, Tsukasa cleared his throat, the question that had been burning in his chest for two nights rushing out in an unstoppable torrent, "What does Rui come here for?”

She looked surprised, “Hanazawa Rui? Oh, he has been here only a few times. Stays a few hours and then he leaves. I’ve only seen him, um, maybe two times.”

He nodded, comforted by her answer. Hadn’t Rui said he would come back to sleep here?

“Well,” he said, “go home and sleep.” She smiled at him and he had to resist the urge to grin back while he was attempting to admonish her and climbed into his car, shutting the door. As he turned his car to the main road, he glanced back at her through his window and she blew a kiss at him, waving until he could no longer see her. He didn’t stop smiling until he had reached Tokyo.

It was after he had been in Tokyo awhile that doubt began to plague him. While he lay in bed, alone, he thought of her, unsure of what she was doing, if she was missing him. Clenching his jaw tightly, he delved into the lurking misgiving about the suspicious ease with which she had given herself to him. What if he didn’t matter to her?

“No,” he said aloud, burying the thought firmly. She had not used the words, but Tsukasa was sure she cared for him.

However, his dark suspicions would not remain buried when not even a day later they were enflamed, this time by Hanazawa Rui. They met at a social function, Tsukasa standing to one side of the gallery where the party was being hosted, bored, when he saw Rui approach.

“Oi, why are you so late?” Tsukasa called out, rattling the ice in his glass of whiskey.

Rui blinked, “I forgot the time.”

Tsukasa rolled his eyes, “I don’t even want to know, but I’m guessing it has to do with sleep.”

Rui shook his head, saying “I haven’t taken a good nap since leaving the village.”

“Oh yeah, you go there too.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Tsukasa realized his mistake but saw Rui merely nod his head.

“Yes, me too.”

Tsukasa looked at him through narrowed eyes, realizing that Rui knew something. He said slowly, “I see. Well, we’re using your house for now,” testing the extent of Rui’s knowledge. His guess was confirmed when Rui nodded.

Pausing for a moment, Rui then asked, “Tsukasa, do you know what you are doing?

Surprised, he stared a bit then scoffed. “Of course I know.”

Rui paused again. “Then, why don’t you care for her better?” he asked finally in his monotone way.

“Why the fuck are you worried about her? She’s my problem,” Tsukasa bit out at him, growing furious at Rui’s prying.

Rui looked at him with omniscient eyes, “That’s just it—she’s a woman, not a problem.”

Tsukasa glared at him. “Mind your own business, Rui.”

He turned away, hiding the force of his rage. Tossing back the rest of his whiskey, Tsukasa turned forward, not making eye contact with Rui.

“I’m out,” he drawled. “This shit is boring as hell.”

He strode off, not waiting for Rui’s response, slamming his glass onto a table as he left. Retrieving his car from a valet, he gunned the engine, tearing furiously out of the parking area. Over and over, Rui’s face flashed through his mind, his phrase, why don’t you care for her better, repeating endlessly. He tore into his driveway, obscene images running through his mind. The seed had been planted and distrust flourished: he questioned what he knew about her and what he knew her to be capable of.

She was the one who had started it – what if she also wanted Rui?

His heart throbbed in his chest, choking the air in his throat. “Stop,” he told himself, clutching his head in his hand. He needed some answers before he was driven mad. He picked up his phone, punching in the name of the one he sought.

“Rui,” he paused, “lunch tomorrow?”

The next day, Tsukasa waited impatiently for Rui to join him at the sleek restaurant not far from the Hanazawa building. His plan was to probe Rui for information, clarifying what, if anything, had happened between Rui and Tsukushi. However, after their initial greeting both lapsed into silence, Tsukasa distinctly uneasy to initiate his questioning. After a few minutes of silent tension, Rui excused himself to the restroom.

Tsukasa drummed his fingers impatiently; this was not going the way he had imagined. He had thought he would ask Rui, who would den-

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft melody. Looking down, he realized Rui had left his phone on the table and he was about to turn away when something about the kanji forced his gaze.

Did it say Tsukushi?

The blood pounding in his ears, Tsukasa reached out a hand towards Rui’s phone when it was snatched up. In shock, Tsukasa saw Rui placing it at his ear.

“Hello?” Rui said quickly, unlike himself. “Ok, I’ll be there.”

He turned to Tsukasa, an apologetic look on his face. “I have to go. I’ll call you later.” Not waiting for a response, Rui left, leaving a still dazed Tsukasa behind.

What the fuck just happened?

He managed to leave the restaurant, heading directly to where the chauffeur was waiting with the car ready. As they cut expertly through the streets to the Doumyouji Corporation building, Tsukasa struggled for control.

“I must have been mistaken,” he thought, trying to breathe deeply through the nauseating lurch of desperation clawing through him. Striving to conquer his agitation, he quickly returned to his office and picked up his phone. He dialed the number to Rui’s secretary.

“Hello,” he bite out impatiently. “Where is Rui? I need him. Now.”

“Hai, Doumyouji-sama? Hold on while I track the GPS the chauffeur he is with has.” There was a minute pause, only moments, but Tsukasa could feel the tension rocketing within him.

“I’m sorry, one moment please Doumyouji-sama,” she said, but then Tsukasa heard her mutter under her breath, “this can’t be right.”

“What?” he asked tersely.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized again, “but it says here that he went to somewhere on the remote east coast but that can’t be correct…”

Tsukasa went stone deaf to her words, the roaring in his ears drowning the secretary’s nattering.

Heart pounding, Tsukasa left his driver’s car to head straight through the building to the garage, utterly ignorant of the men prattling after him in his wake. His mind a blank, he got into his car and raced to the east, towards the sea.

He arrived just as the sun was setting beyond the horizon of the sea, an orange glow lighting his path. Making his way up to the docks, he stopped suddenly, his head clamoring with dissonance. Before him was a couple, standing apart from each other, but locked by their hands, clasping onto the other. As he watched, he saw her move into Rui’s embrace. And he could feel it - could actually feel the tearing, the ripping of his heart into pieces. As he watched them, as he saw Rui bend his light head over Tsukushi’s darker one, he felt rage well inside, replacing the noise. A white-hot surge of fury ripe with despair.

He felt something slippery in his hand and, looking down he saw blood dripping from his fist. He had clenched it so tightly his keys had ripped the skin of his palm.

He watched the blood drip down. As hers would.
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The Lightness of Being