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Rurouni Kenshin Fan-Fic - GOJOU	By : KikueMugen Category: Rurouni Kenshin > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 10110 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I am NOT the owner of Rurouni Kenshin or its characters, nor do I receive monetary PROFIT from the humble fan-fiction, "Gojou".

Chapter List
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[Kamiya Kasshin – Tokyo]

“You know, Miss Kaoru, I think I’m letting my concerns for Sano turn into much more than what the situation is calling for,” Kenshin blurted his thought to Kaoru without a hint of where it came from.

“Oh?” Kaoru turned her attention away from pushing the rolled-up futon to the corner of the room and she faced Kenshin and gave him her full attention.

“Is there a reason for what made you feel that way? Did something happen to Sano that we all need to be worried about? Is he in trouble again? Kenshin… What’s wrong?”

“No, nothing like that Miss Kaoru,” Kenshin perceived Kaoru’s panic through the flurry of her questions. It all came flowing out of Kaoru, all at once, and brought his big violet eyes to a squint, which was naturally how Kenshin smiled most of the time. “I’m sure it is nothing to worry about, but I noticed that Sano has not been himself lately.”

“Hmmm, now that you mentioned it,” Kaoru said as she returned to the task of pushing the futon into its storage spot. “Sano hasn’t been coming to the dojo lately, but I just thought he was avoiding chores around the dojo.”

Having put the futon in its right place, Kaoru stood to her feet, placed her hands on her lower back and leaned backward to stretch it out.

“Maybe you should go and check on Sano, and see if everything is all right with him,” Kaoru suggested, hoping Kenshin would agree with her. She knew that Kenshin’s concern for Sano would eventually grow into worry if he didn't put his concerns to rest.

“Hmn," Kenshin nodded. "I will swing by to his place and invite him out for lunch, after I get done with a few chores around the dojo. Come to think of it— It been a few weeks since I've been to that side of town.”

Kenshin recalled the last time he was in that area. He spoke with the police commissioner about the details that led up to Shishio’s defeat when the Juppongatana attempted to take over the new Meiji Government.

It seemed like only yesterday that he and Saitou were locked in a battle to the death at this very dojo. During the close of the Tokugawa, Saitou and Kenshin were both rivals, fighting on opposite sides during the battles leading up to the Meiji. Even though Kenshin was the infamous ‘Hitokiri Battousai’ (Manslayer who uses the Battoujitsu technique), he wasn’t able to defeat Saitou, even in his prime.

Kenshin stood in front of the Dojo where his thoughts took him back to the battle between he and Saitou. The two men came very close to killing each other that day. If the Secretary General, Toshimichi Okubo and the police commissioner didn’t come along and stopped the duel when they did, the outcome would have been fatal.

That day Kenshin found out that Saitou had been secretly working for Okubo on a mission to find out whether Kenshin was fit to go up against Shishio and help the government save Japan from the madman’s evil power. When Saitou gave Okubo his evaluation on Kenshin, Okubo convinced Kenshin to take up alliance with Saitou and defeat Shishio.

Kenshin looked up at the cloudless sky, forced his thoughts back to the present, and released a sign of relief that the whole ordeal was in the past. Only the memory was left. Kenshin was sure of one thing—the incident had an impressionable affect on Sano, but to what extent?

Kenshin completed the last of his chores around the dojo and called out to Kaoru who was out in the garden collecting turnips to use for the evening meal.

“I’ll give Sano your best wishes when I see him.”

“Can you stop and get some tofu on your way back?” Kaoru shouted at the redheaded man, admiring the highlights in his hair as the suns reflection showed its truest blend of red hues. She raised her arm above her head and waved goodbye.

Kenshin returned her gesture and waved in return before taking up his knapsack, “I’ll do that, Miss Kaoru, that I will!”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Between Kyoto and Tokyo]

“What the hell?” Cho snapped his eyes wide open, raised his right leg and brought his shin up high enough for his two hands to clutch and stop the sharp pain that interrupted his sleep. “What was that for?” Cho demanded to know, directing the question at Saitou who was sitting across from him.

“I don’t mind you sleeping on the job since we are not on an urgent case, but I’ll be damned if I’ll sit here and listen to you snore all the way to Tokyo,” Saitou snarled, his words sharply snapped against Cho’s tired ears.

“Shit”, Cho grumbled to himself, crossing his arms over his chest, turned and faced the window. It didn’t take him much time at all to fallback into the slumbering state he was in before Saitou’s hostile interruption.

Saitou shifted his position on the uncomfortable train seat, undid the top button of his blue pressed police uniform and gazed out the window. The scenery changed slightly from mile to mile, but Saitou had made the trip many times before. He knew that the countryside was a long way from showing any signs of Tokyo. He didn’t try to pass the time by sleeping. After his slip last night masturbating to the tune of Sano, he had too much to think about that needed reasoning and reckoning with.

Aaah… Last night. Saitou thought as he took his gaze away from the scene outside the window and leaned his head back. Once again he granted his thoughts permission to go adrift where he seldom allowed himself the liberty to go. The wolf was fully aware that by doing so, would mean having to face the emptiness that laid waiting for his return.

Maybe if I don’t allow himself to think too deeply? Saitou thought as he let his eyes relax to shut out all that was around him. His focus was so intense and almost meditative, which had the sounds of the train itself seem to melt away into the background—a faded rumble.

Saitou’s mind pounced on the opportunity to bring into view the familiar images he hungrily devoured ever since the Shishio confrontation. Sano’s almost perfect lean figure, the outline of his chest beneath the white gi he normally wore, ahhh yes, and the young man’s tight rounded hindquarters. The wolf couldn’t help but feel guilty for allowing himself the pleasures of such forbidden visions along with the thoughts they provoked, but the pleasurable feelings that the images brought to his body had him almost addicted.

Saitou’s body responded to his thoughts, which was quite obvious if one were to glance at the front of his trousers. He smirked, finding it rather humorous to have such a reaction over the young man. He quickly retrieved his blue police jacket from the empty seat beside him and draped it over his lap to conceal the fact that although he appeared to be at rest outwardly, the passion within him was far from tranquil.

Saitou ached inside. Not just for the obvious reason, but he ached over the fact that he had no one to share his passions with. There was a part of the wolf that refused such vulnerability to take root in his character. He kept aloof and set himself apart from most everyone to keep that from taking place in his life, but it didn’t erase the fact that his heart, as well as his soul cried out in agony over it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Kenshin weighed his options in front of an outside market. Should he buy some fish to go with the tofu Kaoru had asked him to fetch? He had time to decide, for he didn’t want to have to carry the tofu and fish around before he saw Sano. He'll purchase it after lunch.

“Hey Kenshin! What’s up?” A familiar voice called out and interrupted Kenshin from weighing his options.

Kenshin turned to see the tall young man that certainly stood out from amongst the rest of the crowd. There was no mistaking Sano’s white ‘aku gi’ he normally wore out in public.

“Sano! I was just on my way to your place to see if you wanted to join me for lunch.”

“Nah, not hungry,” Sano looked down at his feet and kicked at a small rock to avoid looking at Kenshin directly. Sano knew that Kenshin had a way of seeing right through him, and his defenses were no match for the ex-hitokiri.

“Well, Sano…” Kenshin stepped toward the tall young man to urge eye contact. “You know, we haven’t seen much of you at the dojo lately. Is there a reason we should be concerned about you?”

“Oh, the ‘Missy’ must have sent you to check up on me, huh?” Ever since Sano became a part of the normal fixtures at the dojo, he often used that nickname for Kaoru. “You can just tell her I’m not in any kind of trouble.” Sano kept his head lowered, but tilted it a bit to look at Kenshin from the side of his eye.

“Miss Kaoru did ask me to pass on her best wishes to you, but actually, I came to see how you were doing by my own will, that I did.” Kenshin put his hand on Sano’s shoulder and turned to face the street as an invite to Sano to join him. “Shall we walk a bit? There does seem to be a crowd where we are standing,” Kenshin said with a big smile across his face.

Sano stepped out into the street with Kenshin and the men started walking, not really giving thought to where they are headed for, but they casually strolled down the roadway.

Kenshin observed the droop in Sano’s countenance and the longer-than-usual stride Sano took with each step. There was indeed something that weighed heavily on his friend, but Kenshin was careful not to pry.

The two walked onward quietly, leaving the crowd behind them, with only a winding road in their sight ahead. Kenshin wanted just to ‘be there’ along side of Sano. If nothing else, Kenshin hoped that it would show Sano that he cared about him.

It wasn’t unusual for Sano, when trying to sort things out, to do so by himself, aloof and reclusive. Sano stopped walking and dropped his head again to avoid looking at his red-haired friend.

“Hey Kenshin…”

“Yes, Sano?” Kenshin’s smile encouraged Sano to continue.

“Let’s go over there and get out of the sun for a while.” Sano pointed at a log under a big willow tree near the creek that ran through and out of the town.

Kenshin looked in the direction of the inviting shade and nodded his head, “Good idea Sano.”

The two men walked over and sat down and took in the peaceful scenery at the creek’s bank. The breeze under the willow tree was a relief from the noon sun, and the sound of the water trickling over the rocks and pebbles added to a refreshing pause.

“I don’t mean to worry anyone,” Sano said as he finally looked at Kenshin in the eye directly. “It’s just that, well… I’ve had a lot of things on my mind, you know?”

Kenshin realized that Sano was no longer trying to avoid eye contact. Perhaps this was a good time to encourage Sano to talk about the burden he was obviously carrying around, Kenshin thought.

“It is quite alright to distance oneself when in need to sort things out in one’s mind…” Kenshin paused and looked back at Sano and then added, “…and sort things out in one’s heart as well.”

Sano’s eyes widened at Kenshin's insight. He wondered if Kenshin could not only read a swordsman’s intensions before the the strike by his opponent's body language and expressions, but was the ex-hitokiri able to read what’s in a man’s heart too?

Instead of denying it, Sano responded with a sigh, “So, is it that noticeable to you? I shouldn’t be surprised that you’d know something was on my mind. Nothing gets past you, does it, my friend.”

Kenshin smiled and reconfirmed what he’d told Sano many times before in the past. “If you should ever need to discuss anything with me, even if it is just to use my ear, you can count on me. That you can.”

“I’m okay, and I don’t want you to worry about me. It’s just that, I don’t know what the hell I’m feeling. I get so damn confused sometimes and I don’t know what to do about it. I guess that’s what bugs the shit out of me more than anything.”

Sano picked up a little pebble from the ground and chucked it into the little brook, startling some birds on a bush near by to take flight.

Sano went on. “Saitou died—for what? I mean, I hated the guy, but he wasn’t such a bad guy after I got to know him. He died before I could prove myself…” Sano hesitated, not wanting to sound out of control. “Saitou never thought I was good at what I did, or good at anything I did, for that matter. Damn it, he didn’t give me a chance to prove to him that he was wrong!”

Sano appeared to be angry, or was it anguish that was written on the young man’s countenance. Definitely, Kenshin could see that Sano was struggling with something that was trying to surface from deep within. It was something that Kenshin never saw before in is friend, but yet, it seemed familiar to him.

“Saitou,” Kenshin echoed the man’s name softly, surprised that Sano was still holding on to him after all these months. “Saitou Hajime and I fought against each other during the revolution and recently, we fought on the same side together against Shishio. Saitou was a good man and lived his life by his ideals until his end. I don’t blame you for grieving in his absence.”

Kenshin glanced over at Sano and sensed the tension building by the way the conversation was going. Perhaps he could get one more stab at it before Sano closed the door on the discussion.

“Sano,” Kenshin’s voice dropped to a more serious tone. Have you ever asked yourself why it was so important for you to prove yourself to Saitou? If you hated him as you say you did, then why should his opinion about you matter so much to you now, even after he is gone? Perhaps it is not ‘hate’ that you feel for Saitou, but just the opposite? Could it be that this is what is confusing you?”

Sano fell silent. Kenshin’s words went straight to his heart and echoed throughout its chambers. The shock of it sent Sano into a spin of emotions that threatened to swallow him up if he didn’t try to get a hold of himself quickly.

Sano recalled that day when Saitou didn’t hesitate to take Sano out of the way by seriously injuring him. Saitou could have ended his life easily, but Sano was still alive to remember it all. Ever since then, Saitou haunted Sano’s mind during the day, and appeared in Sano’s dreams during the night. It was the same dream and vision playing over in his mind, again and again, which kept haunting Sano. He often was awakened by his own voice crying out the wolf’s name in the night as the dreams of Saitou’s death replayed.

How can it be hatred for Saitou that Sano was feeling if he felt such remorse about the wolf’s passing? If it were indeed hate for the man that surged through Sano, wouldn’t he be celebrating, instead of mourning?

Not wanting to face the new revelation brought on by Kenshin’s evaluation right then, Sano shrugged his shoulders and slowly shook his head from side to side, “I can’t see it right now, Kenshin.” Sano sighed in defeat. “I’m already exhausted from trying to figure this out. Sometimes I get angry, other times I just sit like a damn bump on the log not able to think any further about it. It is like I’m shipwrecked waiting for the tide to either come in and free me, or drown me and put an end to all this shit. I can’t seem to get a grip on it. It’s damn frustrating, is what it is!”

The silence between the two men lasted only a few minutes this time.

“Hey, this is making me HUNGRY! Let’s go get that bite to eat!” Sano announced as he jumped to his feet sounding off energetically.

Kenshin looked up at Sano and had a feeling that what he just said to Sano was enough to give him another vantage point. Kenshin was convinced that Sano would be fine. He smiled in his satisfaction to have been able to help his friend.

Kenshin chuckled, “Now you sound like the Sanosuke I know!” the redhead said and fondly slapped the young man on his back.

Both men, eager to see to their hunger for great food, headed for the Akabeko.
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Rurouni Kenshin Fan-Fic - GOJOU