Dead is the New Alive

AN: Yeah….. I have nothing to say about this being so late (as the entire fic was completed by the time I posted part 1…heh) but I will use he holiday excuse…

And sorry if parts of this feel rushed, but it was originally a oneshot that I broke up to make editing easier… but I hope you like. Oh.. and there is a reason its sort of in the T section… And really listen to those songs…

Suggested Listening: Dead is the New Alive (Saw IV remix) by Emilie Autumn; Uprising by Muse; Built For Sin by Framing Hanley (for one scene specifically...)

Part 2: Lunacy

-Alive-

It was very late afternoon, more and more shadows appearing and taking over, by the time they finally made it up the stairs of their apartment.

Matt stood in the doorway as Mello checked the apartment once over, making sure nothing had gotten in while they had been gone.

“Come on inside.” Matt, along with his own set of bags, quickly walked inside and Mello closed and locked the door behind him, though both of them would have liked more than a deadbolt and chain lock to protect them.

“I'm taking a shower.” Mello said stiffly. Matt said nothing as he watched the blonde walk off to the bathroom and shut the door behind himself. He doubted there was anything he could say.

Mello carefully pealed off his soiled clothing, which was getting burned or just thrown out, at his nearest convenience, he would never wear them again even when cleaned.

He turned the water onto high, so that it was hot, almost burning, and stepped inside. He kept his mouth and eyes closed as he scrubbed at his face and hair, and cringed at the clumps of stuff that came away, things he didn't want to name.

He grabbed blindly for the soap and ran it all across his body, roughly, trying to scrub away the dirt and grime that had settled itself on him. He didn't know how long he'd been in there but the room had steamed up.

He picked up, or attempted to, the shampoo bottle only to realize his hands were shaking. Still shaking. He sucked in a breath. He’d been far closer to death than he would have liked, far closer than Kira had ever managed, even closer than when he’d blown the hideout sky-high.

He tensed as the bathroom door opened and Matt walked in, naked except for his boxers.

Blood was smeared across his neck and the side of his face but the rest of him was left untouched, having been protected from the projectile brains by his clothing.

Mello was mostly clean now, though he could still feel bits off a gooey substance matted into his hair. It was disgusting. And it reminded him all too well of the events that led to it being there.

“I really need to get this stuff off… so you're going to have to deal with both of us in there.” Matt’s voice was flat and not even his eyes gave away his thoughts when the redhead pulled his goggles free, tossing them into the sink. They clattered, things seeping from the lenses to dirty the sink, as they landed.

“That’s fine. I… I need help washing my hair anyway…” Mello managed to mumble, though it was still loud enough for Matt to hear.

Matt nodded, his boxers slipping to the floor, and he joined Mello under the hot spray of water. Mello moved flat against the wall and allowed Matt to get directly under the water, blood swirling down the drain as the water touched his skin.

It was only then, as Mello was finally close enough to Matt, that he noticed just how much darker his hair was. Just how much blood covered it.

“Duck your head.” He said softly. Matt deftly listened to him and Mello worked his fingers into the tangled mess. More blood ran into the water, and Mello would have worried had it been Matt's own.

When the water had run clean he added a liberal amount of shampoo to the soggy mess and his lips twitched at the small sigh that Matt released. His fingers continued on like that for long after even the conditioner had rinsed free. It seemed to be soothing to the redhead, and after the rather disastrous afternoon Mello felt he deserved it.

It might not have been human any longer, but Matt had been forced to kill, had to fire a gun, it would still be bothering him. And if Mello let himself admit it… it bothered him too. The entire situation bothered him.

“You can stop now Mello.” Matt’s drowsy voice said as he pulled away. He touched Mello’s arm and motioned to the water so that Mello moved under it. Mello closed his eyes and leaned foreword so that Matt had access to his hair.

He heard Matt’s groan of disgust and opened his eyes to see a blackish glob fall to the floor and slide to the drain. He took a deep breath and didn’t bother to look anymore; he should have kept his eyes shut to begin with.

Matt didn’t wash his hair nearly as long as he’d done to the redheads, mainly because Mello had been in the shower far longer and it hardly needed much attention, other than the back of it.

Mello straightened up and turned around as Matt began to lather himself with soap. Mello hated the silence that hung between them, but didn’t know what could be said to get rid of it. That afternoon, one or even both of them, could have died. He felt his chest tighten and had to look away from Matt’s questioning gaze. Had Matt died… Mello wasn’t sure what he would have done.

He carefully moved out of the way again so Matt could rinse himself, and after a moments hesitation, moved to slip out of the shower.

He flinched at the hand that grabbed his arm, though he knew it was Matt… but the feeling of the undead grabbing him was still to real, too fresh, in his mind to forget.

“Sorry… I just…” Matt trailed off, unable to finish. But Mello understood. He didn’t want to be left alone. Mello cracked a smile. Everything Kira had done hadn’t been able to put a dent in either of them, and all it took was the world falling to pieces and being laid waste by reanimated corpses for them to start to lose it.

Forget the killing notebook, zombies topped that by a mile.

He moved from the exit and motioned for Matt to continue, that he wouldn’t leave. Matt gave him a weak, but appreciative, smile. With nothing to distract him any more, Mello’s eyes wandered down the redheads’ lean form, across and down his back to passed the curve of his but and his long legs.

He really would have lost if Matt had died…

He pulled his gaze free as Matt turned to him, a calm, but unsettled look had seemed to have settled in his green eyes, and Mello hated that it was his fault. Hated the damn undead that had caused everything to go to shit.

Mello didn’t let himself think as he stepped foreword, pulling Matt into a hug. It wasn’t the sort of things friends would normally be comfortable with, but Mello knew the situation was anything but normal.

He was surprised however, as Matt’s arms slipped around his waist and gripped him tightly. Matt’s lips hovered just beside his ear and he shivered at the warm breaths. Mello could feel the others heart beating along with his own, and felt the days worry slip away.

It was calming to him, a reassurance that everything was alright with the one he cared for, even if said person didn't know...

Mello was even more surprised however, as a pair of lips brushed against his own. But they only touched for a moment, quick, and they seemed to almost ask ‘is this ok?’

He didn’t let Matt pull away from him, tugging him closer and kissing him, trying to reassure the younger male.

Their kisses became fevered, and their hands wandered.

Matt tugged Mello back under the spray, just long enough to turn the water off, which left them to shiver in the absence of the warmth.

It was a silent consensus, as they stepped from the shower, lips still locked, that they head to the bedroom.

Their actions were desperate, the touches no longer hesitant but purposeful, aiming to feel every each of the others body. Matt was pushed onto the bed but said nothing even as Mello straddled his hips, wet hair dripping cold drops onto Matt’s heated body.

No words needed to be spoken, everything was felt in a touch or a kiss, sentences played out with just a glance.

Long legs wrapped around Mello as he pushed in, seeking an even greater warmth than the mouth he was locked to could provide.

They kept their moans almost silent, breaths coming in gasps, and their motions gentle.

Mello had wanted the redhead for so long and with the Kira case, had never even dreamed of getting him, never thought Matt might want him too.

But he saw the strong emotions in those impossibly green eyes, and wondered why he’d never noticed. He leaned foreword, dropping his elbows to either side of the redheads face and stared at him.

Sweat collected on their bodies, their movements becoming easier, sloppier. One final kiss, a silent promise to never leave the other, and they collapsed together, completely and utterly spent.

Mello rested his forehead against Matt’s but kept his gaze on the half lidded green eyes. Matt smiled up at him, arms curling around him even as his legs slipped back to the bed.

This was all either of them needed, just to be with each other.

Matt flinched when the screams started again, night having risen as they showered the gore from their forms.

Mello gave Matt a quick kiss before he left the bedroom to retrieve his gun. It was nothing more than a quick bit of reassurance for the two of them, something to ease their nerves just enough for them to rest.

The apartment was dark, save for the tiny kitchen light, and Mello left it that way. It was better to keep things dark unless they needed the light. He quickly made his way back to the bed and after he placed the gun on the bedside table, and settled down beside Matt.

The screams had grown louder, though a different set appeared beside the bestial ones. Someone was being hunted. Matt buried his face in the crook of Mello's neck and the blonde could do nothing more than hold him.

It could have been them out there...

But it wasn't, and that was what Mello held onto.

Sometime, maybe minutes maybe hours, later, the screams stopped and everything was left in silence. It was enough to let them drift off, exhausted, but feeling minutely safe in their apartment.

It wasn't much, but they had survived their first real day of hell.

-

Nearly a week later, having had no real problems with the undead other than the nightly screams of those that hunted, Mello was once again on the laptop searching for anything that might be helpful.

But there was nothing.

It was only more of the same. It had spread to America, Great Brittan, Mexico, and numerous other places. It seemed it was like the flu; once it began to spread there was no stopping it.

There had been a link only a few days before, at the bottom of one of the bloggers posts. They had stated that they had been infected, but not from a bite. So they had taken pictures and were posting what happened, so that there was a record of what the symptoms looked like, rather than just going off the information on the health department websites.

Mello honestly could say he felt bad for that person, a teen who lived in Alaska, for the pictures looked more and more painful as the days went on. The picture from that day, though Mello didn't know why he kept clicking on them, had the rash as more of an open sore, though it was stated that it didn't happen in all cases.

A yellow-ish tone had begun to spread across the rash infected areas along with small pockets of pus. It truly was a gruesome way to go. Mello felt his own skin crawl having just looked at it.

He heard Matt sigh from a few feet away and looked up. It appeared that more and more stations were on a loop cycle or just plain off air by then. Not even CNN had been spared. It seemed that for the most part, everyone truly was on their own.

Mello wondered if anyone in those governments were still alive. It would almost be fitting if they weren’t, as it was probably their fault things got so bad so quick, as they tended to not want to panic people when things really were turning to shit.

“Anything good on your end?” Matt asked as he lit a cigarette. Mello hated the stench of those things, as it also made the air stale smelling after a while, but Matt only smoked them every once and a while as he had taken to rationing himself; so Mello would deal with it.

The only good thing so far about the damn situation was that Matt had to cut back on his cancer sticks, which was definitely a healthy thing…

“Not unless you count it spreading to more countries a good thing.” Mello commented dryly. Matt snorted.

“Well, on the bright side... soon everyone will be stuck in hell with us.” Matt shrugged, taking a drag, and leaned back against the couch. Mello shook his head, Matt always got a bit more morbid with his sarcasm after the bad news...

Mello stood up, stretched, and sauntered over to Matt who he knew was watching him. He stole a quick kiss, after Matt had removed the cigarette, and danced away from Matt's grip.

“What do you want for lunch? The power is still on so we need to eat the boxed things while we can.” Mello said while he absently rubbed his arm.

“Pancakes?” Matt asked hopefully. Mello sighed in defeat. Ordinarily Mello would have yelled at Matt for picking up boxes of pancake mix, but it really was practical. It could be stored in Ziploc bags and it traveled easily....

“Alright, you've put up with mashed potatoes and the like for the last two days, so I’ll make them for you.” Matt sent him a large smile and Mello turned away, and into the kitchen. Honestly, the things he did fore the redhead, who knew Mello hated the fluffy creations...

“Add some chocolate chips, you'll enjoy it.” Matt called from the living room and it made him smile. How easy they fell into their new routines...

They would have to go on another food run soon, the sooner the better. They shouldn't wait until they were out, though they still had probably two or more weeks left of food, if they made it stretch, before that happened.

He was quick in preparing lunch and put them on paper plates, the dishes going into the sink. They smelled good, though Mello knew he wouldn't like the taste. But he wouldn't waste anymore chocolate on them then the chips.

They ate in silence, side by side, and stared at one of the fuzzed out channels, Matt having switched it for meal time.

“Thanks Mello.” Matt kissed his cheek with his sticky syrup covered lips and despite having rolled his eyes, Mello didn't mind. “I'll clean up.” Matt said as he took the empty plate from Mello's grasp.

“I think I’ll take my shower then.” he told the redhead, who was already in the kitchen. Matt mumbled something, though he hadn’t quite caught it. Mello unzipped his vest and tossed it into the hamper that was outside of the bathroom.

He shut the bathroom door, but didn't bother to lock it as Matt would probably end up joining him. He stretched again, his muscles having been sore the passed day or so, and pealed off his gloves.

He looked into the mirror and absently touched the scar that marred his face. He froze, and pulled his hand down.

Mello stared at his hand with an unreadable expression. He couldn't process the sight and it was only when the door opened and Matt stood in the doorway did he react; let himself feel fear.

“Mello?” Matt took a step foreword and Mello took one back. It wasn't supposed to be like that...

“I'm sorry.” Mello clutched his hand to his chest and backed all the way up until his back was flush against the wall.

“Mello...” Matt still looked confused even as his eyes locked on the clenched hands.

“I'm so sorry Matty.” Mello closed his eyes and held out his right hand. He heard Matt's breath catch and couldn't help but feel as though he had let him down.

“Mello-” Matt started to say, as he stepped closer.

“Stop!” Mello yelled; he didn't want Matt near him. Matt wasn't... Matt wasn't infected, right?

“You should stay away from me... I'll stay in the bedroom, so you can have free roam of the rest of the place...”

“Mello-” Matt tried again.

“Please... just do this...” he whispered. He didn't want Matt to get sick. He'd seen the pictures. Read the stories, hell they'd seen it first hand. He didn't want Matt to go through that if at all possible.

He saw the pained expression Matt wore as he backed off, leaving Mello with more than enough room to pass by. Mello supposed that taking a shower was pointless, and would only contaminate things further.

Though the thought did cross his mind that Matt might already have it, probably already had it, but he pushed those thoughts away. If Matt didn't have it, and they did nothing to protect him, then Mello would have as good as killed him himself.

“Disinfect everything, even if I haven't touched it.” Mello said as calmly as he could, though he could feel every emotion in him begin to unravel. He was dead. Had been given a death sentence, and his body just hadn't quite caught up with it yet.

He stayed as far from Matt as he could.

“There are the extra blankets in the closet... you shouldn't touch anything I’ve slept in..” Mello prayed that Matt would be alright. If Matt wasn't showing symptoms yet he should be fine... but Mello knew it varied with each person, the rate it spread was different.

If Matt got sick five days from then, and Mello was on his death bed, Matt could theoretically still die before him, as morbid a thought as it was. Mello hoped his wasn't the kind to linger, he didn't want to do that to Matt, make him sit by while he wasted away slowly.

Mello supposed he could just leave, go to one of the other apartments, go to the streets... but he knew Matt wouldn't let him. Would probably go and look for him. Mello's fists clenched as he stepped into the bedroom.

“Mello just li-”

He shut the door in Matt's face. And locked it. He ignored the pounding on the door and slid down. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on top. It was going to be a long week. A very long week...

He sat there for hours, with nothing more than his thoughts. What would have happened had the virus, infection, or whatever it was, hadn't fucked the world up? Would they have died anyway, with Kira the ultimate victor? Would Near have won? Would they have?

Mello hated the what if's. It made him feel weak, pathetic. And it hurt.

“Mello... I’ve left you something to eat, as well as the laptop.” Matt knocked on the door, and said softly sometime after the sky had grown dark. He hated that Matt wouldn't be able to have the bed, like he was banishing him from the room, but there was no where else to quarantine himself in the tiny apartment.

“Thanks...” he whispered and unlocked the door, though he didn’t feel particularly hungry at all. He half expected Matt to still be standing there, waiting for him, but he wasn't. He pulled the items inside, and shut the door again, but didn't lock it.

He trusted Matt not to do something stupid.

Me pulled the things to the middle of the bed, forced himself to eat, and lifted the laptops cover. There was nothing more to do than wait.

Mello hated waiting.

-

Three days later, which felt like much longer when you were cooped up in one room, Mello checked the posts again. It was everywhere. There was at least one reported case in all the major countries, the smaller ones following suit.

As for the person who had been posting pictures of themselves with the infection... they hadn't posted anything that day. And they always posted at the same time everyday. Mello knew they were dead, and if not, than they were almost there.

It frustrated Mello, as he was a fighter, that he would die just like that. He wanted to go out, and have it mean something, not just keel over and die in some shit apartment in a city that was quarantined, despite knowing that he had no real choice in the matter... but it just felt too much like giving up.

He sighed and turned on his side as he shut the laptop off. His had less and less will to do anything each day, and he couldn't tell if it was because of the infection, or because he was bored and unhappy.

The rash had spread from his hand and was most of the way up his arm, though it had stopped at his shoulder. He kept it bandaged at all times, like he had with his burns, and he rather felt like a leper.

Mello closed his eyes and his fingers played with the edge of the quilt.

“Thank god!” he heard Matt shout, though Mello didn't feel that there was anything to be particularly thankful for. Though he supposed it was nice to hear Matt's voice, as stupid as it sounded.

Silence had never bothered him before, but when that was all he had... when he wasn't able to be near the one he loved... it bothered him.

He wondered what game Matt was playing, for such a reaction. With a rather twisted grin, he wondered if it was the zombie shooter one. He sighed.

It was cold, but not enough for him to move under the covers. Maybe he had just gotten lazy.

Mello felt the bed dip and turned in surprise only to have lips lock with his own. He stared in horror as Matt looked down at him.

“Are you fucking stupid?! I'm infected. I've got it and you just fucking kissed me!” Matt didn't say anything and merely took hold of Mello's un-bandaged hand and guided it under his shirt. Mello's eyes widened and he pushed Matt's shirt up; straining to see his skin in the dark.

“Shit.” he murmured.

Matt smiled a little at that exclamation. “I'd say that about covers it. But at least now I can touch you.” Mello knew he should be more heartbroken that Matt had it too, that his lovely redhead will die, but now he wasn't alone.

And somehow that meant so much more.

As he lay there, draped across Matt, after what he was sure was their last time, he almost felt happy despite knowing they would die soon.

“Matt, what were you so happy about earlier?” he mumbled tiredly. He felt Matt laugh more than he heard it.

“It doesn’t matter, you'd think it was stupid.” Matt told him, fingers rubbing gently against his scalp. It relaxed him. But not enough that he would forget about his question, which with Matt's answer, had him even more curious.

“Matt. Tell me.” he tried for a forceful voice, but failed. Matt sighed. “Really it’s nothing. Just go to sleep.” Matt kissed the top of his head and Mello sighed though he didn't bother with any more questions.

He supposed it didn't really matter anyway.

He woke with the sunrise, and the screams that came seemingly from the other room, though that meant it was probably another apartment close by. That in itself was bad unless it was the adjacent complex, at least then the things wouldn't be on the same floor as them.

“Hey.” he heard Matt mumble and looked up. The redhead blinked his eyes a few times and yawned before he smiled at him. Every moment they shared now was bitter sweet in Mello's mind, because every moment they shared brought them closer to death.

“Looks like it spread passed your shoulder.” Matt said softly as his fingers trailed gently across the infected flesh. Mello shivered at the contact but didn't pull away.

“We’ll have to bandage it then. Yours as well.” Mello mumbled as he stretched slightly but made no real move to get up, more than comfortable to just lie there.

“Hm... maybe later?” Matt drawled.

Mello shook his head with a laugh, but conceded as he lacked the will to move.

He started at the feel of his hair moving but relaxed as he realized it was just Matt, who had brushed it aside. “You're like a kitten, you know?” Matt told him.

He snorted and glared up at Matt. “It's true, just scratch behind your ear and you practically purr in contentment.” as if to prove his point he did just that and Mello had to admit he liked when Matt did it.

“Shut up.” he mumbled to the redheads laughter. It was a good sound, Mello decided. He let his eyes fall shut again, and somehow, was able to forget about their problems, if only for a short time.

-

It was just over a week later and Matt could feel the exact moment Mello's heart stopped, though he was too far gone to do anything about it. He felt sad, and a tear found its way down his cheek, but mostly he felt tired.

Drained.

Mello had gotten progressively worse the days that followed Matt's infection. The infection had slowly spread it way across more and more of the blonde’s skin and portions of his left arm had turned into painful sores which had needed constant changes of bandages.

Matt hadn't been much better off.

By the second day after he'd found that patch of skin on his torso, most of his upper body needed to be bandaged, save his face and part of his neck. The day after it had spread to his legs.

It seemed like his was far more accelerated than Mello's and Matt secretly suspected that he'd gotten it at the same time as Mello, but it just hadn't manifested any symptoms until later on. And maybe it had been better that way.

It had meant he didn't have to wait too long before he joined Mello.

Mello had gotten to the point, in the last day or so, where he could hardly even move, having to be helped to do the simplest of tasks, though he still tried to keep Matt's spirits up.

There was a faint growl, which he supposed had come from Mello. Or what had been Mello.

His own eyes slipped shut, Mello's yellow eyes fading out of existence, and he couldn't move.

He knew his own end would be soon, though the small sliver left of his mind wondered why he hadn't been attacked yet as Mello was most definitely one of the undead now.

It felt like drifting, much like falling into sleep, when it had finally happened.

And then his eyes opened again. Everything was kind of foggy, yellow. He was hungry. He needed to move. He growled at the thing that held him in place and stared at it as it snarled back.

The thing before him wasn't food, his head shifted to the side, it was like him. It was something that must be protected. Sluggish arms slid away from him which allowed them both to gradually stumble to their feet.

The yellow one seemed so familiar somehow. But there wasn’t enough left of his mind to process anymore than that.

It didn’t really matter, he was not alone, and some primal part of him realized that as long as he was with the yellow one, he would be fine. That everything, would be… fine.

After all, dead is the new alive.

-Dead-

AN: Yeah… no idea where that came from… ok I’m lying. But really... I’m messed up in the head. But at least my fics are always different, right?

But I rather liked the idea of them as zombies. Buwhahahah. So yeah. I killed them. Go me? ^-^;

Reviews help Matt and Mello zombies eat, don’t you want to feed them?