Splitting Atoms

"Splitting Atoms"

Written By: thinlimitation, aka. mellomafia.
Disclaimer: Death Note and all related characters belong to Ohba-san and Obata-san.
Summary: "Splitting the two apart would prove to be as dangerous and explosive as splitting apart an atom... This was ground zero." Matt/Mello, one-sided Near/Mello on Near's side.
Genre: Romance/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort/Spiritual/Angst/Fluff... Let's just call it Romance/Drama, haha... That should sum things up.
Rating: M
WARNING: This story contains major spoilers pertaining to the end of the series, a friendship/relationship between two boys, and explores themes of religion, death, coming of age, sexuality, and similar things. If this isn't your cup of tea, please don't read. Thank you.

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I: Catalyst
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There will be parts of this story you may assume that I have know way of knowing about, due to the fact that I was not present to see exactly how the events unfolded. However, I can assure you that my narrative is as accurate as it can possibly be. As I have stated previously, Mello and Matt wrote down nearly everything I needed to know. They knew I'd find it, you see. They knew I'd seek it out. Because, despite all of our differences, despite the fact that Mello truly despised me until the day he died, despite the fact that I have never been able to be close enough to another human being to call them a companion...they still remain the closest things I've ever had to friends.

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Mihael Keehl arrived at the Whammy's House orphanage on the 27th of December, exactly 2 weeks after his 6th birthday and the day his parents were murdered. I remembered it distinctly, because I was the first of the students to see him.
He stood, framed in the threshhold, flanked by the two caretakers that had been asked to take him from St. Petersburg, taking in his new surroundings with a calculating gaze. His hair, cut in a precise, feminine bob that curled slightly under to frame his round face, was all the different shades of yellow and gold and shone like a halo in the harsh winter sunlight that streamed in through the open door behind him. The complection of his skin was fair as porcelain, and, like nearly everything about this young stranger, seemed flawless and surreal. He was dressed, head to toe, in black, and the minute he walked through the doorway, he kicked off his unlaced trainers into the nearest corner, revealing small, naked feet. All in all, he would've looked perfectly cherubic...
...If it weren't for his eyes.
His eyes were green, startlingly so, and when you looked into them, you knew that there was nothing angelic, nothing childlike, about them.
The eyes of Mihael Keehl were jaded and weary and angry and dangerous all at once.
And I knew immediately that he was going to make a name for himself here.
But if you had asked me, I couldn't have told you whether that would be a good name, or a bad one.
I watched him appraisingly out of the corner of my eye the whole time from my place on the floor next to the staircase, fitting together the pieces of my blank puzzle mindlessly. The sound of the pieces snapping together caught his attention and his eyes automatically flashed in my direction, meeting my gaze.
Slightly unnerved, although I did not show it, I raised my head to gaze at him directly, abandoning the puzzle for a moment to curl my hair around my finger.
His gaze did not soften, but heightened it's intensity, as if he were challenging me to hold his gaze. Our staring match lasted for a few minutes and we ignored the confused whispers of the caretakers, sizing each other up, taking note of everything.
Mihael was the first to look away when soft, shuffling footsteps could be heard coming down the staircase, and I followed his gaze, although I already knew who it was.
L descended the staircase, his thin, lithe body curved in a slight hunch, one long hand shoved deep within the pockets of his baggy blue jeans, the other delicately holding a lolipop between his thumb and forefinger. He looked as he always looked, black hair wild and unkempt, dark circles under his eyes, his white shirt hanging off of his slim form. I glanced over to Mihael, who seemed frozen, capitivated by the detective's stare. I could hardly blame him; all of the Whammy's children, myself included, felt that way. We simply got better at hiding it.
The detective removed the lolipop from his mouth with a soft, wet pop and tilted his head to the side as he surveyed Mihael, gesturing in a bored sort of way for the caretakers to leave the room. After they had departed, he spoke, his low monotone baritone filling the room. "Hello," he said softly, interest worming it's way into his tone. "I have been expecting you. I am L."
Mihael's eyes widened and, for a moment, I thought that he might have been scared. In a blink of his startling eyes, however, the look was gone, and he met L's penetrating stare with one of his own.
L smiled, putting the lollipop back into his mouth. "Follow me," he said, turning around and walking up the stairs once more.
The blonde boy hesitated for a moment as he watched the raven haired man ascend the stairs, before following after him slowly, as if he were walking to his doom.
Petutlantly, I turned the puzzle over, watching the pieces fall to the ground with a loud clatter.
L hadn't looked at me once.

--
If you have read Mello's narration of the L.A.B.B. Murder Cases, then you know that L told him three stories. Stories of prestige, of competition, of danger, mystery, intrigue, but most of all, victory. These stories showed L's greatest triumphs. The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases, the Winchester Mad Bombings, the Detective War...these stories left a great impression on Mello. Greater still, as he knew L had never told these stories to me. It was something special, private, and he cherished those memories of L until the day he died. All of the things I have just told you are things that Mello knew.
Now, I shall tell you something he didn't.
L told me stories as well.
However, they were all parts of the same story. The same case. The same child. And it is the one story that I will hold in my heart until the day that I die, because it is what taught me...how to feel.
L told me the story of Mello. Of Mihael Keehl.
It starts with a man and a boy and a room and their first meeting. It does not start out as most stories do. It starts in the middle.
But then again, when have L or Mello done things as most people would?

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"So what did you bring me here for?" Mihael inquired, shattering the silence in the room. Despite his very real fear of the man sitting in the leather chair across the desk, perched on the balls of his feet, nibbling on his fingernail, the blonde's voice remained strong, level, demanding.
It made L smile.
He took a knife, holding it delicately between his thumb and forefinger, and sliced a piece of the cake that was sitting on a tray on the desk, placing it gently on a small serving plate with a fork, before pushing it towards Mihael, who was looking at him as if he were insane. "Cake?" He asked simply, his tone light and welcoming, the smile never leaving his face.
Mihael looked at the cake, at the white frosting and strawberry on top, and wondered if it was poisoned. He didn't eat. "You've been tracking me down for months," he continued after a moment, as if he had never been interupted. "I know you have been. Denevue and Coil, too. How else could you have found me? You were all after me." His English was perfect, but his Slavic accent was strong, thick. He fixed jaded green eyes on L as the detective calmly sliced another piece of cake, eating it delecately as he surveyed the blonde boy. "So why did you bring me here? Why not to prison? To trial? Is this some kind of pyschological trick? Am I going to be tortured? Hmm?" L's silence bothered him and he stood up lighting fast, slamming his fists hard down on the desk top. "Answer me!"
The young boy fixed the sleuth with a harden glare, an expression of Mihael's that I would become quite accusomed to over the years. It was a look that, L felt, never belonged on the face of a child. Pity swelled in his heart. He sighed deeply. "Mihael Keehl... You truly posess a dizzying intellect. I must commend you on your deduction skills." The boy's eyes widened, thinking his worst fears had been confirmed, before L went on. "However, you happen to be completely wrong. I have brought you here so that this may be your new home."
Mihael looked at him, incredulous. "Do you know who I am?!" He finally shouted, throwing his hands up into the air. "Do you know what I've done?! What the hell do you think you're playing at here? I want some answers!"
L remained calm, the smile never leaving his face, which only infuriated the blonde further. "Yes, I know who you are, and what you have done. And I must say, you've done a very neat job of it, too. If it weren't for that slip-up a few months ago, who knows how long it would've taken me to find you? It's been about three years already, and I've only just tracked you down. I am quite impressed."
The young blonde looked as if he had been slapped in the face, his cheeks draining of all color. "...Don't talk to me about that. Don't you dare mention that. You do not know what it has cost me."
The investigator paused before taking another bite of his cake, chewing exactly five times before setting the fork down, smiling sadly. "On the contrary, Mihael. I heard everything I needed to hear from the nuns belonging to the church my associates found you at. If their characterization of your father is at all accurate, then you were not acting of your own free will. That, coupled with your young age, would keep me from convicting you, even if I had wanted to. No, I think you should put your mind to better use."
The fire was back in the child once more. "You're not using me! Not like he did! I'm not some tool for you to use to solve puzzles! I'd rather die than you let you use me." His cheeks were flushed with anger, his breathing labored, tiny hands clenched in tight fists, saying words that would be aimed at me someday.
L shook his head, smiling patiently. "I was not suggesting that you were a tool for me to use. What I was offering you was a chance at redemption." He watched quietly for a moment as Mihael revealed the blood-red Rosary he wore around his neck from under his shirt, clutching the Cruxifix tightly in his six-year-old hand. "And redemption is something that you want very much, is it not?"
"...What is it you propose?" The blonde said finally, never letting go of the holy relic around his neck. "What do I do?"
L finished his cake, gently nudging the plate aside. "You live here. You go to classes. You study hard. You dedicate your life as I have to catching criminals, instead of being one." He fixed Mihael with his endless gaze, his brown eyes that always seemed open, always seemed to be watching over everyone, protecting everyone. "If you except my proposal, you could become the next L."
The boy was silent for a moment, eyes wide with pure, unbridled awe, slowly releasing his hold on the cross in his hand. "...I accept."
L smiled once more, widely, and Mihael shakily offered up his own. "Wonderful. First, you'll need a new name. An alias. No one here that doesn't already know the name Mihael Keehl will ever know it. Is this satisfactory?" The now nameless boy nodded, glad, like all of us were, to shed his old name, his old life. "Your new name will be Mello."
"Mello...," the boy whispered softly, trying it out, before nodding. "Yes."
The detective's smile widened. "Very good. I shall meet with you tomorrow and explain things to you more in detail, but right now... I think you should get aclimated to your new home. Roger, the Headmaster, will give you the tour of Whammy's House and show you to your room. I expect to see you tomorrow morning at nine o'clock sharp, so be sure to get plenty of sleep."
Mello nodded his assent. L pulled out a cellphone awkwardly from his pocket, asking Roger to come collect the blonde. After he hung up, the sleuth opened one of the desk drawers and produced a bar of chocolate, holding it in the same, bizarre way he held everything, and handed it to the boy, who accepted it with another shaking smile and a small 'thank you'. L grinned.
A knock sounded on the door, and L said, "Come in," watching the door open and Roger come inside of the office. "Mello, this is Roger Ruvie, the Headmaster." Mello nodded, though he eyed the man with distrust, holding the chocolate bar close to his chest protectively.
"Pleasure to meet you and welcome to Whammy's," Roger said with a weary smile. "Shall we go?"
Reluctantly, Mello nodded, giving L a fleeting glance as he exited the room. Roger was about to follow him, before L called him back. "Roger?" The old man turned around, showing he was listening. L grinned once more. "I believe we have finally found a roommate for Matt." The Headmaster blinked with surprise before nodding, closing the door behind him.

--
Sometimes, I wonder if L actually planned it all out. Did he know how Matt and Mello were going to feel for each other? How Mello would come to resent me? How I...would feel for Mello?
It seems like that at times...when I go back over it all and examine it... It truly seems as if he did. After all, he put them together. The two M's. Matt and Mello. Mello and Matt. Even now, when the two of them are gone, it feels strange to mention one without the other. Sometimes, I believe with conviction that L knew. That he knew by pairing the two of them, he was acting as a catalyst, setting all of these events in motion...
...Maybe that is why a part of me still dislikes L...for giving me a glimpse of the one thing I truly wanted and then forbidding me have it.

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Author's Notes: First off... I am soooooo sorry for my long absence! I've been working and starting college and I've had a terrible case of writer's block to boot! I hope you all haven't forgotten about me! ^_^' I personally blame Near. He's a fickle little guy to write for. First, he barged into my story and was all, "BTW? I'm totally narrating this now. KTHNXBAI." and then he decides to not talk to me for months. What a brat. :P But! I've finally able to write again! So I hope you all enjoy the first chapter! I plan on seeing this story out until the end, no matter how long it takes me! ^_^' I hope that I can get chapter two done over break so that you'll have something to read by next year! And guess what? Matt's in the next chapter! I'm totally stoked about writing him. True fact. :P
-thinlimitation