Fall So Hard

I had never understood why Feliciano was the prince and I was the servant. I was older by two years. The people of the kingdom liked me better. So why was I subjected to the life of a lowly servant? Had destiny separated us into pitiful siblings? Was I worth less than Feliciano? It had to have had something to do with our grandfather. I was his favorite until Feliciano was born. Then I became second best.

Though as my grandfather laid dying on his bed, he had talked to me privately. He had already named Feliciano as Prince earlier that day. I had already know that it would happen, though it still hurt when I heard it directly from him that his youngest grandson would be ruling the Kingdom of Italy. Rome, my grandfather, had requested that I protect my little brother, no matter what.

That no matter what happens, Feliciano has to live.

If only to please my grandfather, I accepted the life-long assignment of keeping my younger brother safe. I would do anything to keep him safe, even if it meant becoming evil. I hated the idea of becoming an evil being to protect my brother, but it would please my grandfather, and that was all that mattered.

Feliciano and I were born within expectations of the adults surrounding us. I was expected to grow up and inherit the Kingdom of Italy until my father died shortly after Feliciano's birth. Church bells had blessed my brother and I, though only for the selfishness of adults and their convenience. Thanks to that, the future of Feliciano and I was split into two futures I would never wish upon anyone.

Feliciano grew up to be a cruel ruler. He even had his own personal bodyguards besides me that he called the Mafia. Feliciano was making enemies with the world. He would sit there smiling as the Mafia and I would defend him and his title of crown prince. I wouldn't allow anyone to speak badly of my precious little brother. Feliciano had no worries, not one.

He was a prince. I was his servant. I would do anything to protect him. We were separated by destiny. To keep my promise to Grandpa Rome, I would protect Feliciano, even if it meant submitting to the darkness, making a deal with the devil or selling my soul. I would protect Feliciano even if I became evil.

Then came the day I visited a neighboring country without telling Feliciano. I went to the Kingdom of Spain. I wanted to get out of that torturous kingdom my brother ruled over. I wanted a sense of freedom, to know what it was like to live without metaphorical shackles on my wrists and ankles. While in the Kingdom of Spain, I met someone.

I bumped into him, is more correct, I suppose.

"Ah! Lo siento, mi amigo! I did not see you there!" the man was kind, smiling happily as he kept me from losing my balance. I noticed his eyes first; a vibrant green, filled with life and happiness. I noticed his hair next. It was dark brown that curled at the ends. I wanted to run my fingers through the stranger's hair, but I couldn't. "¿Estás bien?"

"Ah! Sì, I'm fine." His language was so similar to my own. I thought he had been speaking Italian until I remembered I was in the Kingdom of Spain. "Mi dispiace, I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Ah! You're from the Kingdom of Italy, sí? How exciting! I am Toni! Antonio, actually, but mis amigos call me Toni! And since you're my new amigo, you can call me Toni too!" Antonio was cheerful in a way Feliciano wasn't. He was so kind, and it wasn't the kindness that his cruelty. He was genuinely kind and had a smile to die for.

I had fallen in love with Antonio at first sight. I didn't care if Feliciano wouldn't approve of my infatuation with the Spaniard.

"Who are you, amigo?" Antonio asked me. I smiled softly.

"Lovino."

~*~

One day, Feliciano had a meeting with the Prince of the Kingdom of Switzerland Vash Zwingli and his younger sister Kasimira Zwingli. Vash was known to dislike Feliciano, though it seemed the two had set aside their differences for the day. Their meeting had gone surprisingly well, seeing as Vash usually threatened Feliciano within the first fifteen minutes of the meetings. After the meeting, Feliciano made his way to the balcony that should be mine. This was usual; Feliciano would meet with someone, then, once they left, he would go to his balcony and watch all of his subjects kneel before him and praise him, love him, adore him.

I would always watch from the shadows of my brother's room, still visible to those in the back of all of the kingdom's subjects. I would see those far enough away from Feliciano's balcony glance up at their prince before their gazes would turn to me, the rightful heir. Their gazes were longing, pleading, begging me to overthrow my younger brother and turn their economy around.

Nevertheless, I could not. I couldn't overthrow my younger brother. As much as I hated my brother, I also loved him, and would do anything to protect him.

However, while scanning the subjects in the back of the group worshipping his brother, Lovino spotted one particularly out of place man. His skin, lightly tanned, complimented his somewhat curly brown hair and green eyes. I found this man beautiful; I wanted to know more about this man who had so suddenly shown up in the Kingdom of Italy. I doubted this to be possible, however, seeing the muscular blue-eyed blond next to the brunette. They seemed to be lovers, or at the very least, close friends. It made me jealous.

Jealousy. I had never experienced it before that moment. I hated the blond next to the brunette. I wanted the brunette for myself. I knew, though, that I would never have him.

~*~

Feliciano approached me soon after the subjects went back to their daily work. His usual cheerful demeanor had disappeared, and had been replaced by a look of trouble. It was unusual to see Feliciano in such a confused state, despite being less-than-advanced in the intelligence department.

"Caro fratello? Is something wrong? You look troubled." I questioned, placing a bowl of gelato on the dining table before gesturing for Feliciano to sit in front of the sweet treat. The younger of us did so, sitting in front of the ice cream quietly. Feliciano sighed and rested his chin in his palm, gathering some of the gelato onto the spoon. He popped the spoon into his mouth, savoring the sweet flavor of the gelato, sucking on the spoon momentarily, before removing the object and playing with it between his fingers.

"Fratello… There was a man in the crowd today that I have never seen before…" I internally flinched; Feliciano wasn't talking about the brunette, was he? "He was very handsome… He was very muscular, and his hair was blond and slicked back… I want him to be mine, but he seemed to really like the brown-haired guy next to him, ve… Lovino, I want you to get rid of the brown-haired guy for me, so I can have the blond."

I winced and clenched my eyes shut; my brother wanted me to kill the man that I myself had become taken with. I had no say in the matter, however; Feliciano was the prince, and I was just the servant. I would have to kill the beautiful man, even if it killed me inside. I knew that killing the man I had seen would be torture, to see that pretty, lightly tanned face in pain, shock and confusion… I already felt sick at the thought of it.

"Sì, mio signore… It will be done…" My voice was no more than a whisper. Feliciano's eyes lit up happily, hearing that I accepted assignment.

"Ve~? You mean it? Oh, grazie, mio fratello meraviglioso! Grazie!" Feliciano exclaimed, embracing me quickly before returning to his snack with newfound vigor. "Oh, and fratello… you'll destroy the brown-haired man's country for me as well, sì? Grazie!" I couldn't help but continue to feel nauseous at the thought of my brother's request. Excusing myself from the room, I fled, looking for the one person whom I knew could offer me comfort; Elizaveta.

Making my way down towards the kitchen, where Elizaveta was no doubt cleaning a spotless room, I only thought of the man I was ordered to kill. I didn't bother to knock as I entered the kitchen, spotting Elizaveta easily, seeing as she was the only person in the room. I cleared my throat to gain the woman's attention. Elizaveta turned around and smiled softly, seeing me. I hadn't visited her in a while.

"Hey, Lovino. Did you need something?" she asked, resting her broom against the counter. I nodded and walked further into the kitchen, hopping up onto the counter opposite Elizaveta with a sigh. "Wanna tell me what it is that's bothering you?" she asked softly. I sighed and looked down, my bangs falling into my face.

"…Feliciano became infatuated with a man from outside the kingdom today… He was blond with blue eyes and very muscular. With him was a brown-haired man with green eyes and tanned skin… I-I think I like the brown-haired one… but Feliciano told me to kill him and destroy his country so he could have the blond… but I feel sick just thinking about what I agreed to do… Help me, Elizaveta, please…" I wasn't one to beg, but… Elizaveta sighed.

"I'm sorry, Lovino, but there isn't much you can do…" she said softly. I sighed and buried my face in my hands; that poor foreign man had no idea he had sealed his fate by entering the kingdom that day…

~*~

I didn't want to kill Antonio. I couldn't believe I had forgotten him so easily either. However, it was Feliciano's wish for me to erase Antonio. I had to do what my younger brother requested of me. My tears wouldn't stop as I left the kingdom, traveling towards my love's kingdom to murder him.

He's the prince. I'm the servant. Destiny separated us. I realized we were not pitiful siblings. We were madly driven siblings. Feliciano was driven towards death and destruction. I was driven towards life and construction.

I could remember Feliciano's innocent laugh as I traveled towards the Kingdom of Spain. I was still feeling nauseous. I didn't know if I could do it. I had killed so many before. Wang Yao of the Kingdom of China, Tino Väinämöinen of the Kingdom of Finland, Bella Guerrier of the Kingdom of Belgium, Raivis Galante of the Kingdom of Latvia, Im Yong Soo of the Kingdom of Korea and Gupta Muhammad Hassan of the Kingdom of Egypt are just a few. I had attempted to kill Francis Bonnefoy of the Kingdom of France, but… Well, I feared for my life (and innocence) after seeing the lecherous look he gave me.

I was disgusted with myself. I was covered in dirt and blood. On my way back from the Kingdom of Spain, I had to stop multiple times to empty my already empty stomach. I had killed so many people, the last one being that man I had seen earlier and had fallen in love with; Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. I had remembered the man's name only hours before killing him, tears streaming down I face as I impaled the Spaniard through his chest with a knife. I could only apologize profusely through my sobs, resting my head on the bleeding Spaniard's chest before running from the room, violently vomiting once outside the room. I never checked to see if Antonio had actually died; I didn't have the heart or stomach to.

Before killing him, before destroying the Kingdom of Spain, I had watched Antonio interact with the subjects of his kingdom. Antonio had been so loving and so kind to each of his subjects; I had been touched by the warm smiles exchanged between Antonio and the people of Spain. It killed me to know that in just a few hours, that wonderful man would be lying in a pool of his own blood, dead.

"Ve, fratello, did you get rid of that man and his country like I asked?" Feliciano asked cheerfully as I entered the castle. I nodded stiffly, my face shadowed by the cloak I wore. I would never allow Feliciano to see that I had been crying for a man I had met once. Feliciano laughed happily at the news that I had killed Antonio. "Oh, that's wonderful, fratello! We should celebrate! Anyways, what was the name of the man you killed?"

"…I'm sorry, mio caro fratello, but I cannot celebrate with you... I'm covered in the blood of the Spanish Kingdom's people. The man you had me kill was the Kingdom of Spain's prince, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo…" I spoke softly, swallowing the lump in my throat and pushing back the bile I could feel rising in the back of my throat. I could hear the giggle coming from Feliciano.

"The Kingdom of Spain's prince, ve? That makes it all the better, ve? Grazie, fratello, for doing this for me. Ti amo, fratello…"

I hated Feliciano more than ever now.

~*~

Soon, Feliciano's kingdom learned of what happened. They were less than pleased. Had my grandfather predicted this? Did he know that the people of the Kingdom of Italy would rise up against my brother? This country was ending by the hands of the citizens. I had to oppose this. I had to protect Feliciano, as much as I wished I could watch him die. I knew of only one way to save my brother and end my misery.

"Fratello, no! You can't sacrifice yourself for me! I won't let you, ve!" Feliciano cried as I dressed myself in my brother's clothes; clothes that should belong to me instead of my tyrannical brother. I smiled softly as my brother begged me not to go through with it. I was determined to take the place of my brother, if only to meet my beloved Antonio in the afterlife.

"Feliciano, mio caro fratello minore, I must. I promised Grandfather I would protect you, didn't I? This is how I am protecting you, fratello minore; by dying for you." I looked at the grandfather clock. It was 2:30 in the afternoon. I would be dead in half an hour. "Fratello, per favore, get dressed in my servant's wear and put on a cloak. Everyone must be at the execution."

"Lovino…! Per favore, don't do this! You can't die!" Feliciano wailed, letting tears stream down his face. I gave a wry smile. "Lovino, per favore… per favore… Having Ludwig isn't worth your death! Fratello!"

"Ludwig, is it…? His lover was Antonio… Did you know, fratello, that on the day you fell for this Ludwig, I fell for Antonio? I saw him in the back of the crowd of your subjects. I fell for him instantly… and you ordered me to kill him, the man I had fallen for… Fratello, this is the only way I can be with my amato Antonio." Feliciano's eyes widened at the information I was feeding him. I was going to die anyways. It didn't matter if Feliciano found out about my love for the Spanish prince.

"Lovino…"

"It's time for me to go, Feliciano. Roderich and Elizaveta will bring you to the execution. Once it is over, flee. This is my last request for you, il mio amato e caro fratello minore." [my beloved and dear little brother] I said softly moving towards the door after pulling and clipping my sensitive curl onto the left side of my head in a pale imitation of my brother. More tears fell from Feliciano's eyes as I spoke and left the room.

"Mi dispiace, il mio amato fratello e cari più anziani... Sono così, mi spiace..." [I'm sorry, my beloved and dear older brother… I'm so, so sorry] Feliciano whispered as the door to his own room shut with a soft click. I barely heard him, anticipating my death. I let out a breath.

"I we could be reborn… I want to be with you again that time." I whispered.

I was the prince, even if it was for only a moment. Feliciano was a fugitive, dressed in my servant's clothes. We were separated by destiny to be sad siblings. We were not madly driven or pitiful. We were sad twins. They say Feliciano was evil. Does that make me evil as well, for sharing the same blood as Feliciano?

Once upon a time, there was a treacherous kingdom named the Kingdom of Italy. Reigning over the kingdom was my adorable little brother. I hated and loved him. All the world was his enemy, and still, I protected him, even allowing evil to run through my once-pure veins.

I did it all for my tyrannical little brother.

He's the prince and I'm just the servant. Destiny separated us pitiful excuses for siblings. I, Lovino Romano Vargas, became evil just to protect you, Feliciano Veneziano Vargas.

~*~

I admit, I was frightened as I spotted the guillotine. It was bladeless. Someone else was going to kill me. I was placed into a bladeless guillotine at exactly 2:50 in the afternoon. It was decided by the Germanic prince Ludwig Beilschmidt (that blond macho potato that my brother was interested in) that Feliciano, or in this case I, would have at least five to ten minutes of humiliation before I was beheaded. I accepted this as I was wordlessly placed into the guillotine, never raising my head to look at my brother's subjects. At 2:59, a minute before my beheading, the executioner demanded that I look at the crowd. The executioner, the albino brother of Ludwig, whom was known as Gilbert, gestured to the crowd.

Have I mentioned that I hate the people of the Germanic Kingdom?

"Well, well, lookie here… All of your subjects are here to watch you die, Feliciano Vargas. Mein bruder is in the crowd as well. In fact, he's right over there, with the man you ordered to have killed. Look, though; he's still alive, thanks to my little brother's quick thinking. Your plan has backfired, tyrannische kleine Prinz. And in just thirty seconds, you'll be killed by my hands, kesesese!" What kind of laugh was 'kesesese' anyways? Though, I spotted Antonio next to Ludwig. I was overjoyed, knowing that he was alive. I was tempted to jump out of the guillotine and admit that I was not my brother. I wanted to point out the real Feliciano.

But I didn't. I had to protect Feliciano.

"Bruder, that's enough. Let the kid have a few last words before you kill him." Ludwig stated from his spot next to a healing Antonio. I knew Antonio recognized me. He sent a small smile my way. Gilbert scowled at his younger brother before shrugging and turning back to me.

"Any last words, brat?" he asked me sardonically. The answer to that question was always yes, followed by an insult of some form. I knew that much. I wasn't going to insult the albino, though. I only smiled, easily turning my head to look at Antonio. Ludwig frowned as I looked at the green-eyed Spanish prince, but said nothing. I took a breath and let it out, staring straight into Antonio's eyes.

"Lovino è… felice che tu sia ancora vivo, signore Antonio... e lui è molto dispiaciuto per avertentato di uccidere te. Egli può riposare tranquillamente, sapendo che sei ancora vivo e vegeto." [Lovino is... happy that you are alive, sir Antonio... and he is very sorry for having tried to kill you. He may rest peacefully, knowing that you're still alive and well.] I said with a smile before turning forward once again, preparing for my death. It was odd to speak in third person… I heard the church bells rang three times, signaling that it was three o'clock. It was time for my death. Gilbert grinned sadistically, running his tongue along the blade of his sword (I expected him to cut himself) as I looked right into the crowd. As Gilbert brought the sword down, my eyes met with a set of amber eyes identical to my own. I only had time to mouth the words I wished I could say.

"Questo è addio, fratello..." [This is good-bye, brother]

~Parte Seconda - Finitura~