Convicted

I ask that you please read my Author's Note before you read my fic.

A/N: Here is chapter one. Sorry it took me so long to finish. I hope you enjoy it. Also, here are some notes on things that will appear in this chapter:
I make mention to The Labouchere Amendment in this chapter. To put it simply, this Amendment made it possible to prosecute homosexual males of sodomy/buggery with out any actual proof that it took place. If I've done my math right, I believe it was passed about four or five years before Kuroshitsuji's storyline.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji and am not making any profit off of this. I am merely a fan.

Convicted – Chapter One

Ciel's eyes fluttered open. He knew instantly that he was alone in his bed. Sebastian was not there. He wondered—as he always did—if the previous night had been a dream. The dull ache in his rear and lower back proved the Earl wrong. He let out a relieved sigh and savored the only concrete proof that the amazing night he had experienced was not a mere fantasy.
But, as always, his momentary relief disappeared and was replaced with a feeling of shame. Ciel closed his eyes and tried to block out the onslaught of mental torture.
“Undignified,”
“Disgusting,”
“Unnatural,”
“Sinful,”
“Perverse,”
“Immoral,”
“Lecherous,”
“Shameful,”
“Shameful,”
“SHAMEFUL,”
A knock on his door made him jump. Sebastian came in soon after, bringing him his morning tea. Ciel watched his butler carry out his morning duties with an emotionless expression. Sebastian greeted him, opened the curtains, poured his tea, all while rattling off the day's events. When he finally knelled at the Earl's bedside, they met eyes for the first time since the previous night's passionate encounter. Expression unchanging, Ciel lifted his hand and placed it on his butler's shoulder. Narrowing his eyes, he finally spoke.
“I thought I told you to stay with me.”
“Oh?” The demon replied with a devious smirk. “I didn't know Young Master was so intent on keeping me at his side, even when he awakes in the morning. Perhaps he would have preferred to wait for his morning tea instead of having it right when he wakes?” Ciel scoffed at Sebastian's sarcasm and released hold of his shoulder.
“Whatever,” He muttered. Sebastian smiled brightly and began dress the Earl for the day. Ciel wished that once in a while, his butler would actually hold true to that request, and stay with him until he awoke. Even if it meant putting things slightly behind schedule.
Because if he awoke next to a demon, maybe it would be easier to escape the mental torture and reminders that plagued his mind. Maybe if he awoke next to a demon, he could continue his day in peace instead of dread and shame.
“Your tea, Young Master,” Sebastian said and extended a hand that held the saucer and teacup. Ciel ignored the tea in his face and reached past it to grasp the back of his butler's neck. Carefully, he closed the distance between them, and pressed his lips against Sebastian's in a gentle kiss. When they broke apart, the demon chuckled and handed Ciel his tea. “Breakfast will be served soon, Young Master. Please, follow me.”


There was a time when Ciel would have hurled at the mere thought of the things he had been participating in. But, oh, how quickly things can change. And change they did.
Sexual things and women were never on the forefront of the young Earl's mind. He had more pressing matters to deal with as the Head of the Phantomhive house. Besides, he was betrothed. Sometimes, it would confuse him how he felt absolutely nothing towards his fiance and her beauty. He knew full well how beautiful Elizabeth was, but it never seemed to have any sort of effect on him. Ciel had shrugged it off as his young age, and was sure as he grew older, he would probably start to get those troublesome emotions that seemed to put all the adult men into a fix.
Ciel did grow older. He was still young—just barely a teenager—but not young enough to be spared from an adolescent's hormones. He was starting to have odd feelings and sexual urges that he couldn't ignore. And whenever he tried to satisfy those urges with his own inexperienced hands, it was never Elizabeth who was floating in his head. In fact, it was never a female of any sort.
It was always a male. More specifically, it was almost always Sebastian. He satisfied his sexual urges while thinking of his butler. His very talented, very loyal, very handsome, very attractive, very male butler. It tore him apart. He tried everything he could to fulfill his desires to anything but a man. Imagine an attractive woman. Imagine Elizabeth, imagine Meilin, imagine... hell, even Ran-Mao will do!
But one way or another, he always found himself panting, moaning, and fingering himself to the image of Sebastian.
And it terrified him. Even if he and Sebastian had never even participated in such acts with each other, if any one found out about the Earl's true sexual preferences, it made little difference. The damned Labouchere Amendment that was passed not even ten years ago made sure of that. Though no longer punishable by death, buggery or sexual relations with another man were still a serious crime.
As a Phantomhive, breaking some laws was never a huge concern as long as it got the job required of him done. But this was not a matter of the Queen. Breaking those laws would not be pardoned because of his status as the “Queen's Guard Dog.” He was shaming his family, his company, and himself for even thinking about such things, let alone acting on them.
But it soon became so much more than Ciel's teenage hormones. When Sebastian actually entered the picture itself, things became so much better, yet so much worse.
The butler found the young boy one night moaning out Sebastian's name and fingering himself vigorously, lost deep in his fantasies. Sebastian had heard the Young Master call his name, but this was not what he had been expecting.
“My, my, Young Master,” He said, snapping Ciel out of his pleasure. “I never knew you thought of me this fondly.”
“Seba—Sebastian?!” Ciel was frozen in shock, all the blood drained from his face. This was it. His life was over. If even one person knew—even if that one person happened to be a demon—he was sure that he had no chance of ever regaining his dignity. “Sebastian, I—I—“ He stumbled on his words as the butler began to walk towards him.
“Yes, Young Master?”
“I—I order to never breathe a word of this!” Ciel yelled, clamping his eyes shut and pulled his legs up against his chest to hide his face in his knees. The demon stopped dead in his tracks, a somewhat dumbfounded expression on his face.
“Pardon?”
“You must not ever breathe a word of what you have seen tonight. In fact, I order you to forget it entirely!” Sebastian sighed.
“Unfortunately, Young Master, I cannot simply forget things, even if you order me to,” He said.
“Yes, but I still ordered you to never speak of it again.”
Sebastian tilted his head to the side, and once again began to move towards the Earl's bed. The demon was at a loss for why his Master was reacting at this level. He had expected embarrassment, yes, but not a frantic stream of orders, those including forgetting it entirely. Sebastian stopped once again when he realized Ciel was trembling. But it was not from the pleasure the boy had been feeling earlier; it was from fear.
“Ah, I remember now,” Sebastian whispered and knelled down at his Master's bedside. “There are laws against this in your country right now, aren't there?” Ciel's head snapped up to meet the demon's eyes. Sebastian gave an irritated sigh. “You humans never cease to amaze me. Placing laws and punishments on natural facts of nature. What do you hope to achieve by restricting such a thing?”
Ciel stared at the demon, and listened to his words with awe. The way Sebastian talked, it was like the laws were against breathing, not sodomy.
“Sebastian—“
“Young Master, I am here to serve you in every possible way,” The demon said with a small smirk. “It would be against my aesthetics to ignore your needs.” Ciel began to tremble again as the demon stood and began to undress himself.
“Sebas—Sebastian!” He exclaimed. “What are you—? We can't—We can't do this! If anyone ever—ever found out—” Ciel was close to tears now. Everything he wanted was staring him in the face but he couldn't reach out and take it. It was wrong, immoral, unnatural, shameful—
Sebastian crawled onto the bed and cupped Ciel's face in his hands. Slowly, the demon leaned in and kissed the boy softly. He gasped in surprise, and the demon used the opportunity to slip his tongue into his mouth. Ciel was inexperienced and sloppy, but Sebastian was patient with him.
It was not long before their tongues were exploring each other's mouths and Ciel was up in the other man's lap with his legs wrapped around Sebastian's waist. The demon could feel his Master's erection pressing against his body and could not help but smirk. Slowly and expertly, he maneuvered one of his hands under Ciel's nightgown and began to tease it with his fingers. The boy broke the kiss and began to moan from the pleasure surging through his body from Sebastian's actions.
“Sebas—Sebast—please, no—ahgnnnn!” His final pathetic attempts to stop his shameful actions were easily tossed aside by the demon. Sebastian raised an eyebrow and gave a somewhat amused smirk. He held his Master in one of his arms and laid him down on the mattress. Ciel was becoming lost in the ecstasy that his butler was giving him. Leaning over him, and planting passionate kisses on Ciel's neck and chest, Sebastian finally inserted a finger into his small entrance. The boy groaned and bucked his hips as the demon curled his finger.
“Trust me, Young Master, when I say this,” Sebastian whispered into Ciel's ear. “You live in an ignorant society.” Those were the only words the Earl's pleasure-fogged brain needed.
“Sebastian...! More! Don't stop!”
“Yes, My Lord.”

“You live in an ignorant society.”
Every time Ciel ever showed any signs of doubt about his feelings or actions, Sebastian would whisper that in his ear and plant a soft kiss on his neck. Those words always calmed the Earl down, and kept the mental torture at bay, but they could never banish it completely.


Ciel walked behind his butler—slower than usual because of the soreness in his rear—to the dining room for breakfast. Sebastian noticed his Master's slow pace, and turned back to him with a knowing smirk.
“Young Master seems to be in some pain this morning,” He said with a chuckle. “Perhaps you are too young for that sort of activity after all.” Ciel's cheeks flushed pink from irritation and embarrassment.
“Don't be ridiculous. I'm not a child,” He hissed, speeding up his pace and wincing at the pain.
“Perhaps I should carry you to the dining hall,” Sebastian suggested.
“No, thank you,” Ciel shot back.
When they entered the dining room, his servants were waiting for him, like always. They all greeted him with a cheerful chorus of “Good morning, Young Master!” He nodded his head in acknowledgment, but walked swiftly past them to avoid their gaze. No matter how painfully obvious it was, he knew his servants were oblivious to he and Sebastian's actions. But even still, Ciel disliked their eyes watching him. What if he slipped up somehow? What if they could tell he was in pain? What if they figured out what that pain was from?
He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Sebastian smiling down at him. Their eyes met, and Ciel knew exactly what his demon butler was conveying to him with that knowing grin.
“You live in an ignorant society.”
Ciel sighed and sat down at the table to eat his breakfast.
“That may be true, Sebastian. I may live in an ignorant society. But no matter how I struggle, that ignorant society still has it's laws chained around my neck.”