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If U Seek Alfred	By : CyreliaJ Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 3629 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don’t own Hetalia or any of its characters. I’m also not making any money off of this.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
Note: Just want to remind everyone about the only warning in the first part and let everyone know this will have some Canada/Sealand and England/Canada.

Part 2

England looked up annoyed as he disentangled from a profusely apologizing Canada and stood up.

“You!? Why on earth would anyone want to bugger your fat arse?!”

“It’s not fat, it’s winter weight!” America shouted back hotly.

“It is if you’re a bleeding polar bear!”

“Guys?” Canada tried to interrupt feeling as if this entire plan was spiraling out of control as America and England continued to scream at each other. He also watched America straining and pulling at the chains thankful the thing was rated for a heard of bison because he had a feeling that someone was getting their ass kicked when America finally got out- and at the rate things were going it was likely to be England.

“It’s just more cushion for the pushin’ you limey asshole!”

“You and your asinine expressions! Haven’t you mangled the language I gave you enough?!”

“Hey, I’m not the one with spotted dick pudding pervert! I bet this was all your stupid idea, too!”

“My idea?! I’ll have you know-”

“Enough!” Germany’s bellow cut through the entire scene and even as he nearly jumped ten feet in the air, Canada was never more thankful that he’d invited him. “You, explain to your brother why we’re all gathered here!” He snapped our crisply, and Canada almost saluted in response ignoring the fact that Germany had forgotten his name again. “We don’t have this conference room forever and every moment the lot of you spend bickering, I’m docking it from your time! No one has two hours, everyone has twenty minutes!” He cut Prussia off before the protest even gave voice. “Yes that includes you and I. No you don’t get extra time I know exactly how long it takes you! The average worldwide duration for human intercourse is five minutes so I don’t want to hear any complaints! I will be timing it and if anyone goes over I will not hesitate to- What are you doing?!”

Austria had deftly swiped the PDA with an ease that would make the most skilled pickpocket envious. He looked the schedule over critically with that disapproving cluck of his tongue that both Germany and Prussia easily recognized as the “I asked for a torte not a tart” click which was in fact eerily similar to his “no, no, the angle of your hips is all wrong let me show you how you’re supposed to do it” click.

“No, this definitely will not do,” Austria said half to himself even as he easily danced out of the way of Germany’s furious grabbing pressing at random buttons with a frown in spite of Germany’s yelling, “Mein Gott, you can’t just mash at the buttons like you do with the television remote! You already broke my mobile phone you-” Austria dropped the device on the ground annoyed and then wordlessly stomped it into pieces, brushing his hands off on his coat as if he’d finished dealing with a particularly unpleasant business with a murmur of “clearly it was defective” even as Germany howled.

“What is wrong with you?! You are useless with machines just accept it already!” Ignoring the red faced hyperventilating German next to him Austria merely adjusted his glasses and looked at Canada calmly; the device was under warranty, after all.

“Yes Matthew, do tell Alfred why we’re here today.”

Canada had been staring dumbly as Germany realized that once again arguing with Austria was futile and desperately scrambled to salvage the device; he almost missed Austria speaking entirely. Canada blinked and looked at America struggling and staring at them all nervously and couldn’t help but feel angry at his self centered jerk of a brother and his ridiculous conclusions. You really think this is all about you, don’t you? You’re standing there in a ratty sweatshirt and baggy jeans to hide the fact that your stupid weight yoyo’d again- yeah news flash, I think it’s hot, the rest of the world doesn’t- up to god only knows what and you still think we’re here for you?! You miserable, clueless, self centered asshole! I can’t believe I’ve been feeling guilty about this. I can’t believe I was feeling sorry for you. I can’t believe I actually thought we could just talk this out and that you’d understand anything short of a diagram and a stupid picture book. Fuck Francis, he has no idea what it’s gonna take to get a clue through that thick skull of yours... But I do.

Eyes narrowing, Canada still smiled cheerfully- far too cheerfully- but America was silent as he approached.

“Don’t worry, Al, no one’s here to do anything to you.” America hardly relaxed but he was definitely more curious now as he watched his brother stop in front of him. “In fact Al, they’re all here for me.”

“For you?” America parroted back dumbly. What the hell is going on, Mattie? So you’re in on this... whatever the hell this is? What about the meeting? Oh duh, yeah obviously there’s no meeting. So then why are we here? What the fuck am I chained to the fucking wall for with that creepy motherfucker smiling next to me like it’s about to be rape ‘o clock or some shit.

“Yeah, Al,” he said keeping that cheerful smile on his face as he walked over to England. “See... you seem to have this funny idea that I’m... what did you say?... that I’m uptight?... that I’m useless as a guy? That I’m not sexy enough for you?” And America might not always be the first to the deductive finish line but he was hardly an idiot. He frowned as it dawned on him exactly just what might be going on if they were all there for Canada. Oh yeah, he had a damn good idea of exactly how those perverts were “there” for his brother... not that he was bothered by that or anything, hey if Canada wanted to set himself up for fucking failure with America watching that was all his business. Gawd, Mattie, you act like you don’t even wanna be there half the time we fuck and you think I’m the one who needs the lesson?

“Ha!” America yelled back arrogantly, “if they can all stay awake boning your boring ass I’ll be surprised.”

Canada ignored the dig for the moment and mentally readied himself as he discreetly tapped England on the arm signaling the start. Okay so it wasn’t the smoothest damn thing he ever planned but at least the whole world wasn’t watching like they were at the Olympics. He turned away from America and focused his attention on England fighting down the butterflies thinking that he really should’ve eaten more than fruit that morning because he really thought he was gonna pass out if he couldn’t get into it because god were America’s words seriously getting to him already. He licked his lips nervously, steeling himself. Alright Matthew, showtime. You’re doing this to get Al back, to make him see you’re desirable, this is all to save the relationship, dammit... you can do this. Fuck him he has no idea what I can do. He has no idea what Arthur and I really have and he just doesn’t get how much I’m giving up for him today. But that’s not the point, the point is if I don’t show him everything I’m gonna lose him. Roderich’s here for moral support. They’ll stop if it gets to be too much and I can crawl home like the useless loser Al thinks I am- No! No this is gonna work or I’m gonna die trying.

And Canada knew how to start, he’d just have to get into it and work into his and England’s regular routine because that was familiar and comfortable and he could just go from there. with Da- England! -God calling him that out loud in their... in their “scene” as Austria called it was one thing but not in his head dammit- to guide him.

“Al’s being mean to me, Daddy...” Canada complained almost identically to the way he did when they were young. Except now he stood over England and his intentions were far from the simple boyish complaints about a brother who refused to share his toys. “He says I’m better off being a girl.” And he worried his lower lip nervously, wishing he had something to bite on to make it better, determined to keep his hands out of his mouth for five goddamn minutes when he was under pressure like this. But England just reached up with a smile one step above a leer, his hand resting on the back of Canada’s neck and god that alone was enough to make his knees weak. Maybe he was like a damn addict because being away from England for just a few short years should not be enough to make him to crazy from one stupid touch.

No, it wasn’t just that it was those hands. Canada had been fascinated by England’s hands as far back as he could remember being owned by the other. He remembered them as a child seeming so large and strong when he was showing him how to hold a musket, and yet his fingers were long, slender, and looked so refined even when he was bandaging up America’s numerous scrapes and cuts. The one big scrap Canada had with America, the one that was bad enough that England actually paid attention to him for more than five minutes he remembered how light and gentle they were, swabbing at his cuts where he’d dumped the alcohol on America’s arm and told him to man up. England’s palms were equally fascinating to him. They were broad, slightly rough, and so terribly manly, even when Canada looked at his own larger adult hands there was just a width to the span that was lacking in his own opinion and god Canada could feel him now lightly tickling the fine hairs on the back of his neck to tease him. Okay, so maybe he could do this after all.

“How many times must I tell you, Matthew, not to pay any attention when he bangs on like that?” Yes daddy, anything daddy. Ohgodohgod why did he ever think this was just going to be a last swan song with his older lover? “Here now, let daddy show you just how wrong Alfred is.” And he leaned in then and it was all Canada could do not to rush in too quickly because really it was so rare that England allowed him this sort of intimacy, by god he was going to enjoy it!

The comment definitely jarred America from whatever shocked stupor he was in and he blinked a few times taking in the sight of his brother about to be kissed by England. Stupid Canada, like it would kill his brother to throw a look like that his way once in awhile? God Canada hardly even looked at him while they were fucking let alone staring at him all intense like that. Alright, that just had to be some kinda stupid put on, there was no other explanation for it and he wasn’t biting. So that’s your game is it, you little prick? Tie me up here and try to get a rise out of me by acting all into Arthur? You passive aggressive little fucker, you dragged me out here for this? That’s… that’s low Mattie. Are you getting off on showing me all the shit you’d never give me before? Is that your point? I kiss your ass and I get more than just a sigh and pat on the ass? Well… well if you think I’m gonna freak out just cause you and eyebrows rehearsed a little makeout scene you can think twice… I know you, I’ve known you long enough to know that you just don’t have it in you so there!

“This… this is so not gonna work, Mattie!” America yelled defiantly getting his bravado up, getting mad, determined not to give his brother the satisfaction of upsetting him. “Go ahead then! See if I care! I’m not taking it back just cause you had to go get your panties in a wad! If you’re too much of a baby to handle a little honesty then I don’t need you anyway! I have other lovers too! You are so not the only nation who wants to ride the Alfred F Jones love train, Matthew Williams! And y’know what, I was so doing better without you too!”

Canada just smiled as England pulled him closer, not paying America any attention at all. How do you like being ignored for once, Al? Not that America usually ignored him, ran roughshod over him was more like it but hey that as a technical difference and right now he was riding too damn high to care. So of course the voice from the doorway came as a total surprise.

“Aha!” Startled by the sudden unexpected exclamation, Canada jumped up and bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed.

“Fuck ostie!” He ignored England’s disapproving look at the profanity- really, like his mouth wasn’t foul enough to blister paint off the walls- and brought a hand up over his mouth to stop the bleeding. England whirled at the familiar voice furiously unable to hide the raw shock on his face.

“You nasty little bugger how on earth did you-“

“I knew I’d find you here!” And at that moment everyone turned and looked then at the mysterious newcomer. Austria rose and handed Canada a handkerchief from his pocket to try and help stop the bleeding looking faintly annoyed at the disturbance. Standing right in the doorway his clothes torn and stained, one shoe missing was none other than Sealand. His small hands were dirty, resting on his knees as he bent over trying to catch his breath as if he’d run up all twenty flights of stairs at once.

“Bloody fucking hell what are you doing here?!” England demanded forgetting about Canada entirely.

The micronation drew himself up with a cocky grin as he sauntered into the room smugly with a waggle of once finger.

“Thought you were gonna pull one over on me, did you?” He slammed down a filthy sheet of paper on the front table with a laugh. “Ha! The joke’s on you, jerk England, ‘cause I found this in your trash bins!”

“You’ve been digging through my garbage like a bloomin’ raccoon?!” England looked rather horrified at the prospect and knowing what he’d often gotten up to in his free time, Canada wouldn’t have been surprised if the young Sealand had encountered far more than just-

“And you, pervert oughta be ashamed at the stuff you’re looking at! Jack and Jill went up a hill creep, they sure weren’t doing all that pervert stuff in your magazine!”

“Whoa, Artie you still have those old-”

“I have nothing of the sort! I am a proper English gentlemen and I’ll thank you to keep such comments to yourself.” England glared daggers at America just daring him to contradict the statement. Austria and Germany both coughed at that while Prussia almost fell on the floor laughing. Russia merely smiled.

Before anyone could speak to the contrary however, Sealand walked up the center aisle with a triumphant strut and Canada could just feel America’s grin at the back of his head.

“Thought you’d have foreign relations without me? No way, the mighty nation of Sealand is staking its claim first!” He pointed at Canada dramatically and yelled, “Get ready, America-” A snicker, yeah that was definitely a snicker.

“I’m Canada.”

“Get ready, America, ‘cause I’ve been practicing!”

“Yeah, get ready, “America”,” the real America chimed in from the back. Shuttup, Al. Shuttup or so help me we’re gonna-

“Where in the seven hells are Berwald and Tino?!” England addressed young nation with a glare that could melt paint that the other was seemingly oblivious to. Canada simply dropped the handkerchief on the table, buried his face in his hands, and groaned. Why can’t things ever just go the way I planned?! Really, God? Sealand? There wasn’t anyone more embarrassing that could’ve walked in? Was Wy busy? Al’s whale was too big to fit through the door?

America’s stupid obnoxious fucking laughter wasn’t helping either. Yeah, he definitely could do without that over the top wheezing, pig snorting, guffaw. And of course the rest of them were just watching like they couldn’t even figure out what to do with themselves. A little help here from someone who’s not Arthur? No? No, of course not...

“Shut the hell up hoser!” He slammed a palm on the table, red faced as he looked at America. America who could barely fucking talk through the damn laughing.

“Oh Gawd, Mattie, is that supposed to make me jealous? Who you gonna get next, your bear?!” America’s face was red too but oh definitely not from embarrassment. Okay, that is it. That is seriously it. You think you’re just so fucking smart, don’t you? You think I can’t do anything right, do you? This is all just a big damn joke? Well just you wait, asshole.

He turned back around to the ongoing shouting match between England and Sealand the gears in his head already turning. “No I won’t go home!” Sealand was shouting. This is insane... this is totally insane... “You guys are gonna do it, I heard you through the phone tap-” But dammit it’ll serve him right...

“Cor Blimey! You’ve been tapping my phone, too?!” God, how old is he anyway, fifty? Sixty? If that body is older than twelve I’ll-

“You didn’t bank on the top notch special forces the great Kingdom of Sealand has, didja?”

“Top notch? What that senile old bugger finally bought ickle Peter a mobile did he?”

“That does it, that right there is treason!”

“Treason?! We are on British soil you nasty little rotter and-” Alright, alright yeah I’m doing it...

“He can stay, Arthur,” Canada said, eyes dark and downright wicked. His voice wasn’t any louder than it usually was, but somehow everyone in the room seemed to hear him blatantly staring at the declaration. Sealand himself even looked surprised but recovered far more quickly than the rest, readjusting his hat and drawing himself up.

“Ha! See!” He sauntered past England, looking up at Canada with childish confidence. “Even the great United States of America wants a piece of this.” Canada refrained from correcting him though America shrieked in the background “stop calling that stupid canuck America!” No one paid him any mind. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, hands clasped innocently behind his back, Sealand grinned just as America glared and looked at his brother.

“Haha, very funny, Mattie. Tell Spanky to get lost and then maybe you can get me out of this crap, too and we can go home and-.”

“Are you telling me what to do, Al?” Canada asked, his voice dropping deadly quiet even as he interrupted him. And America recognized that shift in tone but seemed unwilling to process what was right in front of him.

“You can’t be serious! You are not even thinking about... Dammit, Mattie, I am so not letting you do this!” He started pulling harder on the chains again, twisting and bracing himself with his feet. Next to him, Russia informed him a little too cheerfully that if he kept up he was going to dislocate his shoulder.

“Letting, Al?” Yeah, there was definitely that sliver of defiant steel in his voice now and even England could’ve told him he was treading on thin ice. You just don’t get it, do you Al? You think I’m some weak, useless loser who can’t get by without you. You think I can’t assert myself or make decisions without you butting your stupid unwelcome head in. You think you’re gonna tell me what do to? You think you’re gonna tell me to turn into your own fucking blowup doll and turn myself on and off like a switch. Well guess what, you’re not running this rodeo, I am!

“Alright, America-”

“I’m Canada,” he supplied again automatically the plan already forming rather beautifully. With America’s eyes fully on him, he smiled as Sealand declared that he was going to show “America” what a real man was. You watching, Al? You getting a good look? Just you wait, it’s only getting better from here, asshole.

“Matthew, I’m not sure I’d advise you do this,” Austria said looking concerned.

“Trust me.” Hand cupping the side of Sealand’s face, he sat back on the table, equaling their heights out and leaned forward to kiss him gently. It was chaste and brief, but hearing America yelling his fool head in the background it was worth it. Ha! Had you going there, didn’t I, Al? Well let’s just see how much I can really piss you off.

A part of him felt a little guilty for leading the micronation on, but this was war dammit and there were bound to be casualties. Canada smiled at him thinking that those big blue eyes were just too adorable as they stared at him wide and Canada cupped the side of that soft baby face with a small smile and a soft question of, “Should I show you the proper way to do it, Peter?” And England had just sighed and sat back on the other table with a shake of his head muttering how the lot of them were going to be the death of him.

“You know you love us, Daddy,” Canada sang unaware of how easily the roleplay became reality and he didn’t even notice the worried frown on Austria’s face at the address. And he tilted his head and swiped at that cute little pink mouth teasing, removing Sealand’s hat and setting it aside because if America was gonna throw a big shit fit about it he might as well give him something to holler about.

And Canada could hear England grumbling still even as he dialed some number in his mobile- Sweden if Canada had to guess- but that really wasn’t terribly important because he had other things to attend to right now and if he had to be honest, the micronation while obnoxious as hell was also terribly cute and tasted so young and fresh that Canada just couldn’t help ignore that inconvenient little impulse control that England liked to bitch at him for ignoring and kiss him again. And this time it wasn’t a teasing flick of his tongue but a full open mouth kiss and wasn’t America in the background just so jealous watching his brother and lover locking lips with such a “joke”. Well the joke was on him because Canada moaned softly as Sealand followed his lead and opened that small mouth and let Canada taste every bit of him.

And when Canada pulled back again shooting America that little smirk, the micronation blinked a few times wide eyed as England scolded the both of them once more and barely managed a whispered retort of “I bet mine’s bigger than yours, jerk England.” Canada was looking rather pleased with himself as he raised an eyebrow to America in challenge and his brother yelled back at him that he was nothing but a little asshole and he better knock it off right now because this so wasn’t funny.

“Did we?...” Sealand pressed his hand to his mouth and then looked down, seeming to try and digest what had just happened.

“Hmm?” Canada was only half paying attention as he continued to play with those soft, baby fine locks of hair.

“Did we just do it?” And Canada almost choked at the question while Prussia cackled and America screamed “Omygawd no and you better not you crazy canuck!”

Canada looked down again with a soft laugh and he shook his head thinking that as amusing as America was that he could definitely push it a little bit further without incident and really he didn’t get much opportunity to tease his brother so effectively!

“No... no there’s a little more to it than that but... well I don’t know...” He looked back at America just barely resisting the urge to stick his tongue out because he was gonna be damned if he let him or anyone else tell him what to do. And Sealand just clapped his hands together enthusiastically the big grin on his face.

“Alright, America let’s do this!” Russia laughed softly at that and Canada heard some comment about America’s infamous immigration before he found himself pounced with the enthusiasm of a thousand rabbits.

Caught off guard, Canada was knocked backwards onto the table. He blinked a few times surprised by just how strong the young micronation was but then he remembered that soccer game he played once with Seaborga and supposed he shouldn’t underestimate them just because of population. Okay well maybe just a little more messing around wouldn’t kill anyone right? It wasn’t like he couldn’t just shove the other off if things got too crazy and- Holy mother of maple how many hands does he have? Because Canada was pretty sure Sealand only had one set up hands but he could swear there were hands pushing at his hoodie and grabbing his crotch at the same time as Sealand proclaimed rather dramatically,

“Alright! I’m claiming your breasts in the name of Sealand!”

Canada dimly heard the sound of a chair hitting the floor As Prussia fell out of it laughing while Germany simply stared. At least that’s what he was picturing because he couldn’t exactly see with the red shirt half over his head as he struggled to undo the tangle that seemed to have magically appeared out of nowhere although he was pretty sure that even with his compromised hearing he’d heard America yelling that Canada never let him go this far in public and England was vowing to have a long talk with South Korea about setting a proper example at conferences.

“You have to admire his enthusiasm,” Russia said leaning against the wall with a smile and just Austria sighed as if he somehow had seen this coming.

All the noise of course wasn’t helping one bit when he finally wrenched the shirt back down Prussia cackling like a damn rooster even on the floor. Why me? Why does crap like this always happen to me? Because no that couldn’t just be the end of it, the second he fixed his shirt, Canada reached up about to shove the young nation off when he felt those wet, sloppy lips mashed against his own. His hands were on Sealand’s shoulders pushing, even as the other slobbered over his mouth like a happy puppy.

“Mmm!”

“You fucking pervert, Mattie!” America yelled indignantly. How on earth do you look at this and think I’m liking it you jerk?! He’d have yelled just that if Sealand wasn’t fucking vacuumed to his mouth. Canada shoved him with earnest and thank god that worked because he’d had enough embarrassment for one lifetime already.

“Oh yeah, you like that don’t you baby?”

“Peter.” He forcibly removed the small hands from his chest letting go only when he thought the other was finally going to calm down. He steadfastly ignored that poking into his stomach because there was no way he was feeling that. “Get-“

“On with it, I know!”

“That is not what I meant!” Which only resulted in the full weight of the micronation propelling him backwards once more as Sealand exclaimed “Hostile takeover!” Canada swore as his had cracked the table and he swore the room moved or something as his hands clutched at his head with a pained hiss. And ohmygod Sealand was wiggling between his legs like an eel as soon as he had the chance! Great, Even Germany was attempting to hide a soft laugh behind a cough and fucking America finally got a clue when Russia giggled and that was somehow even worse than him thinking his brother was a pedophile. Why me… God, why the hell do you hate me? Did Arthur even get a hold of Berwald?!

He took a few deep breaths because crap that really hurt and realized that the other was dry humping him like they were actually doing it or something and Christ couldn’t he have just two seconds for his head to stop trying to crack like a melon before having to deal with that?!

“Okay, enough, get off you- what are you doing?!” Canada’s voice rose a few octaves as he attempted to scoot backwards because he could at least keep a hold on his throbbing head while doing that but nope, nothing doing there, Sealand just scooted with him like this was a stupid game and not some creepy backwards bad touch scenario. Canada’s first instinct upon realizing he was dangerously close to the micronation actually stripping or something was to shove him off the table, but he didn’t really want to hurt him; this was partly his fault after all for encouraging this craziness

Still, watching America join in the laughter he was finished. He was done, he didn’t care how stupidly this had backfired he was ending it. “We are done here!” Canada screamed deciding that just this once he wasn’t about to give a damn if anyone got hurt or not. Sitting up, foot about to kick him clear across the room, Canada saw England appear like he’d really wished he’d done about five stupid minutes ago and haul the micronation up by the shirt collar like a mother cat. In that same moment, Sealand was weirdly still as he clutched at Canada’s hips and Canada could see that dark wet spot on- Oh god you did not just... Oh god I think I’m gonna be sick... Canada practically threw himself off the table just as England handed the little monster off to Germany a hand over his mouth so he didn’t just throw up- of course that might’ve been the blossoming concussion too but at this point he kinda didn’t care- right as there was a rap at the door and some low pitched talking he couldn’t understand. As long as he lived he never hoped to see such an expression ever again. Dimly, he heard America and Prussia both laughing and something that sounded like Sealand shouting “Ha! Take that world, I just scored with America!” as Germany hauled him bodily out of the room.

“...I’m Canada,” he mumbled miserably as he pushed off the table with a sigh.

America had finally stopped laughing when he took in the half defeated expression on Canada’s face. Prussia too quieted himself with a few carefully whispered words from Austria. See, Mattie, this is exactly what I’m talking about. This is why you need me you take care of you. I mean really? Did you really think you were gonna come in like be all hot and sexy and I’d go “oh hey Mattie, I was totally wrong I can’t believe I ever thought you made a better girl? See this is the kind of shit that happens to you all the time. This is the kind of stuff I just want to protect you from.

“Aww, c’mon bro, cheer up,” America offered sympathetically. “It’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“You have Alfred for a brother to start,” Russia offered and America shot him a dirty look for sticking his big nose in where it didn’t belong.

“Shuttup Ivan.” he looked around the room with a perfect amount of self righteousness. “All of you oughta be ashamed of yourselves for talking poor Mattie into this.”

Poor Mattie? Canada looked at America, wide eyes narrowing as his brother continued to talk.

“I mean jeez, look at him, he’s a total mess ‘cause of you jerks and your stupid ideas.” Canada’s hands wrung at the shirt as America talked trying not too hard to pretend it wasn’t America’s neck. I think I can survive a little embarrassment, Mr. Hero... America clanked the chain insistently. “Hey, how about you untie me and we can go catch a movie or you can have a good cry on my shoulder or something. I mean this so isn’t you Mattie. You’re just not cut out for crap like this. I mean you need to leave all that to like porn stars or James Bond or something ‘cause I mean even Inspector Gadget wouldn’t get boned by that little pipsqueak. And I mean this is what you come up with? Francis isn’t even here and I don’t even think “living” is on his criteria of things he’ll bang.” America waved his arm as best as he could indicated everyone in the room. “You got a guy who loves kicking me when I’m down-”

“‘Cause it’s so fun,” Russia added smiling.

“Your best friend’s fucking boyfriends...” He looked at Austria. “Right? You’re fucking both of them, right?” Arms crossed, Austria tossed his head haughtily with a snort. “I don’t believe that’s any of your business but please, do go on digging yourself in deeper, Alfred.”

Ass.. Christ why the hell are you friends with this douchebag? America looked at the strange expression on his brother’s face and pressed on ignoring that strange pang in his head that normally told him when something was a bad idea; he usually called that his funstopper gland. “And Arthur... I mean, dude, that’s like your mom telling you you’re cute.” And he was pretty sure he might’ve gone on awhile longer about foreign relations being something that Canada really ought to let a superpower like him handle and okay yeah he was babbling now but he really just wanted his brother to knock all this crazy shit off and start acting like his normal “whatever you say, Al” self because really what use was a hero with no one to save?. “So yeah, let’s go home and I’ll make it all better, ‘kay?”

It was almost cute the way America looked at him like he really believed Canada needed him to ride in like some cliché on a white horse. Canada took it all in, proud of himself for not freaking out and just cussing America out and listing off everything that was wrong with that plan and America himself and even his country and reminded himself he was here to prove a point. He turned away, making sure America still had a damn good view and looked at England feigning shyness before glancing down at the floor, twisting a sneakered foot. He looked up adorably from beneath the hair around his face and the smile he gave England was enough to make America stop short, and Canada could see that same off jealous flicker that he’d seen in the club that night and i gave him strength.

“I don’t need you to be my hero, Al. I can save myself...” Realizing they were about to pick up where they left off, England walked back over to him, once again reaching up, hand once more on the back of his neck and yeah maybe it was a little staged but he could relax and let Daddy lead him wherever he needed to go. “But even then... I have daddy to kiss it better, don’t I?”

“Of course you do, Matthew.” And this time they weren’t interrupted. This time America was really going to see just what made him keep going back for more.

Canada didn’t often kiss England. Their encounters were usually far more rough and ritually sadistic and the older nation preferred not to indulge in a whole lot intimacy- of course that made moments like this al the sweeter. But all in all, Canada usually felt like a whore and was surprised half the time that he didn’t find money on the dresser when they were finished. When England kissed him it also tended to be little more than a perfunctory display of affection before or after intercourse or the type of feigned fatherly chasteness that made Canada feel just sinfully turned on by the fact that he was even turned on.. And for the longest time he just chalked it up to the other’s culture until he came to realize that no, that was just how England was. So when England pulled him down and tilted his head to bring their mouths together, Canada wasn’t expecting a whole lot; it turned out with proper motivation, he could pull a hell of a lot out of his bag of tricks when he had something to prove.

Is he wearing chapstick? England’s lips were soft and warm pressed against his and he found it was far easier than he would’ve thought to forget about America and the rest of the nations now sitting down watching them. The kiss was a soft butterfly touch and England’s tongue soon swiped at his lips with a gentle tease. The wet tongue painted over his lips, urging them apart, and Canada complied somewhat breathless. He hadn’t realized that he’d even been maneuvered backwards until he felt the back of his thighs hit the long conference table and he definitely didn’t notice if his head was still aching. Canada shifted more comfortably, half seated on it, bringing himself down to England’s height. He felt those nimble fingers threading through his hair, twining around the fine blonde strands slowly tugging harder and harder in a delirious counterpoint to the languid motion of England’s tongue twining wet circles around his own.

Canada’s hands at his sides gripped the table hard; he knew that England- especially when England was playing Daddy like he was now- didn’t like him touching without permission and oh that just made it all the better when he finally was allowed the privilege. His knuckles were white and he felt the hard particle board scraping beneath his nails. England had nudged his legs apart with a knee as he’d settled himself, and he stood now, lower body angled so that his hip pressed against the other’s groin. He shifted and rocked against him, always pressing, always keeping what Canada truly wanted just out of his reach. Canada moaned softly, his breath hitching at the contact already dying to touch England’s cock and god, America knew how to fucking play him perfectly when he was a woman, why the fuck couldn’t he make him want it this badly the rest of the time? Except of course that America wasn’t and never would be England and even a perfectly executed impersonation just wouldn’t... No, no it would have to do it because this wasn’t normal. Normal would be getting England out of his system and getign very single bit of sexual fulfillment from America alone like it should be. Right... god he was fucked.

That’s a good lad... England always enjoyed the sweet obedience that Canada had allowed him when they fucked. As docile as he seemed, and as perfectly as he’d been trained to acquiesce he never truly obeyed otherwise anywhere else, passive aggressive little snot that he was. No, there was always a biting remark or some other subtle defiance that England sometimes overlooked just to keep Canada guessing. Oh, but when England pulled that hair and ground against him and made those lovely little whimpers claw from his throat, he knew he had him. He knew that when Canada agreed to this and swore this wold be the last that it would really only be the beginning. Fucking America liked to bandy about his size like it was the damn be all end all, but England knew that was only a small part of the equation and he was going to show it. Keep watching, Alfred, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.

He felt Canada’s thigh squeeze around him as the young nation rocked against him. England slapped his thigh hard in chastisement without missing a beat and Canada sighed with that perfectly conditioned response.

“Please, daddy,” he whispered softly, his face flushed. England loved how deliciously he asked without even needing to be instructed anymore. A sidelong glance to America showed the loudmouthed wanker was gaping at them stupidly as if he couldn’t quite process what was happening.

“If you keep your mouth open like that, Alfred, you’re going to catch flies.” Austria said to him without looking up from the novel he’d brought.

Canada barely heard him; England had drawn him into a breathless open mouth twining of tongues and Canada could taste the mix of wintermint and tea. His attention had been focused more on the painful grip in his hair and the smell of vanilla and tobacco. He wanted to bury his face in England’s neck and breathe in deeply and drown in that fucking scent ‘cause god if he ever did have a father still living that’s exactly what he’d smell like. Just thinking about it made his dick even harder. You remembered I said that too, didn’t you Daddy? And here I thought you’d forgotten everything about me… But you really did make this about me today, didn’t you?

Breathless, Canada blinked, licking the lingering bitter minty taste from his lips, rolling his tongue around his own palette to savor the last essence of England when the other pulled back. England released his hold, the back of his hand drawing down Canada’s face. His voice was firm and controlled as he stepped back.

“Go on then, love, show daddy what you’ve brought him today.” He took a seat on the plastic blue chair, crossing a leg like the perfect patient father. Canada took a deep breath and felt his knees give for just a moment before he pushed off the table. England was watching, his eyes already undressing and fucking him where he stood. Canada caught a glimpse of America out of the corner of his eye and noticed the challenging expression. He remembered that night. He remembered when America held him and forced him to fucking piss himself and asked him if he’d ever do that for England. You asked me if I’d piss myself for Arthur? You should’ve asked me if Arthur even needs to do shit like that to prove he’s in control. I’d do anything for Daddy, Al. He felt his pulse quicken in that excited way it always didn’t and he had no idea how deep he really was. Anything at all...

Canada walked to the front of the conference room where both England and America had a clear view. Standing in front of the whiteboard with England having a front row seat, Canada toyed with the white drawstrings at his neck.

“Do you like looking at me, daddy?” he asked in that perfectly contrived innocent voice eyes only for England. He looked down, foot scuffing at the floor before looking up again as if uncertain. In moments like this he almost felt as if he were a child again looking up and not down at the powerful nation seated in front of him and as England pretended to consider the question and took the meerschaum pipe and silver snuff box from his pants pocket Canada couldn’t help the soft, “oh god,” that escaped him.

America was watching curiously, thankful that the conference room- made to accommodate around thirty or so- was small enough that Canada wasn’t more than fifteen feet away. It made it far easier to see his brother and yet as he watched, he wasn’t so sure that it was a good thing after all. He had no idea what the fuck England was pulling out but judging by the expression on Canada’s face it sure as hell wasn’t his dick cause last he remembered England’s cock was about as impressive as his sense of dress- at least that’s what France had told him. He wasn’t jealous, fuck no he wasn’t jealous ‘cause there wasn’t a damn thing Canada ever did that was worthy of- Fuck, Mattie when was the last time you looked at me like that? God if I thought for a second you ever remembered how to act like fucking wasn’t just one big headache…

He wondered if the others had noticed as well. The other three who were all going to fuck his brother and no… no way in hell, there was no way Canada was really gonna do some porn star Guinness breaking gangbang… right?
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If U Seek Alfred