Something Deep within

Previously…

In the deep recesses of Zero's mind though, he wondered what it was that Yuuki was hiding away in her soul. Maybe someday soon he'd find out, before he was lost to the beast with in.
He just didn't know that day was going to happen sooner than he expected…

Zero was completely zoned out when he reached the prefect’s bathroom, so zoned out he missed the pink towel that hung on the door knob, indicating that Yuuki was currently using the only bathroom available for the late night Guardians.

What a complete and utter pain…

Zero had already had his soiled white shirt off and the fly to his trousers down when he felt the familiar sensation of Yuuki’s hand smacking the back of his shoulders.

“Zero! How many times have I told you to knock?! I could have been naked in here!” Yuuki shrieked, her eyes burning red with fury.

Zero sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “Would you quit it, you do it to me all the time. I don’t get all huffy.”

Yuuki reeled in frustration, clenching her fists at her sides until they were bone white. “What’s with that look, Zero?! I know what you’re thinking…that I am flat chested and not a real women, right?! That’s it, that’s what you’re thinking! You are so exhausting! You- you pervert!”

Zero’s face remained stoic, yet he still turned his head away from the annoying girl. “That is not what I was thinking, Yuuki. If you are finished I’d like to take a shower…”
Yuuki huffed, grabbing her towel, hair dryer and brush off the sink. She stalked past her Guardian partner and out the door, slamming it in her wake.

Zero turned and continued to the shower. Upon entering the small stall, he noted the smell of Yuuki’s shampoo. It was unique to most girls, who wore scents that mimicked flowers and fruit. Yuuki’s smelled of vanilla and amber, raw but pleasant. Something else that stirred the intense fire in his eyes. He figured that the vampire with-in him would only crave blood like the disgusting beast it was; however Zero soon learned that blood was not the only thing vampire’s craved.

The beings of the darkness also craved flesh, hot, perspiring and sweetly scented flesh.
Zero had been aware that typically vampires held no grudges against different genders. He had seen on many occasions the night class girls and guys participating in very erotic pleasures with each other that usually ended in them drinking from each other. Zero dismissed it with his usual hatred and let it be. But this new sensation he felt was almost as bad as the blood lust; and the worst part about it was he only felt that way around Yuuki. Was that because she had let him brink from her already? Was he now connected to her by her blood? Such questions made the young vampire hunter’s blood boil.

Zero turned the knobs of the shower as cold as they would go. He flinched as the freezing water hit his scorching skin. But a moment passed and Zero let his mind wonder to what Hanabusa had told him a while back when he first bit Yuuki.

“It’s obvious that you are different... Any other person would have become a level E fairly quick, yet you Kiryu, have managed to fight it for four years now. I might as well tell you a little secret between us vampires…I mean it might help you understand that no matter what, Lord Kaname has claimed Yuuki. But then again she is so close to you, and now she let you drink her blood. Tsk, tsk Kiryu, you should be careful.”

“Get to the point, Hanabusa.” Zero remarked through clenched teeth.

“Alright, don’t get all scary now. I’ll tell you…I don’t know if you have noticed on your nights as Guardian, but I can assume that you have…we vampires are not all just about drinking blood. We have souls too…and desires. A vampire does crave blood, but we also crave sex, and lots of it! As a matter of fact I have slept with…oh I can’t even count!” Hanabusa exclaimed as he counted his fingers, all ten of then and then some. Zero shot him a death glare and the vampire called “Idol” proceeded on his exclamation.

“No, Kiryu I did not bite any of them, they wanted me! How could they not?! The point is, we crave it and so will you. And let me just tell you the purer they are…more intense the craving. I could have an-“

“That’s enough Hanabusa, I have things to do.” Zero growled. He walked away from the night classman and fingered the cool metal of his gun inside his coat.
Unfortunately for Zero, Hanabusa was correct in his statement. Zero craved the very same thing, from a woman that was not only off limits; but the most dearest person he knew. He had already hurt Yuuki enough. Even considering something as vile as that act that make the man want to end his life. It was his job to perfect Yuuki, not take advantage of her. But then again, Zero did not fear the claim that Kaname had on Yuuki; simply because it should be left a decision for her to make. Zero felt that she was a free person to make her on decisions, even ones he did not agree with. He had to figure out a way to steer clear of Yuuki with out her necessarily noticing. Her presence made his blood lust barely controllable, and now it seemed his groin as well.
Two weeks past and Zero had not fed from Yuuki. He sat further away while in class and tended to his work a night for the most part, alone. Yuuki noticed his absent visits for blood, but figured his was in one of his moods. But she hadn’t let Zero’s isolation from her go unnoticed. She was constantly frustrated with her partner just for the simple fact that she could not read him. His eyes remained the same and his heart was heavily guarded. The only times she had seen a glimpse into what troubled Zero was in situations of him being in danger or herself. Other than that he was cold as ice.

She could not allow his charade to go on any longer; it was her job to protect him and keep in sane. She worried that the level E in him was getting stronger and she was getting to the point that she was going to beg Kaname to aid in finding another way the save Zero. But that was not going to be possible, currently; Kaname was off school grounds and not due back for at least three more days. Time was not on her side, nor Zero’s.

Yuuki watched from the balcony above, inspecting the grounds for trouble. She spotted Zero walking down the path towards the night classes’ dorms. She leapt off the balcony, grabbing on a tree branch on the way down. She followed far behind, in case of her being clumsy; she did not want Zero to catch her. Then, she would have to deal with more of his avoidance and that was not going to happen. Yuuki was going to find a way to help him whether he liked it or not. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Zero talking to Kaname’s right-hand man, Hanabusa. They didn’t talk long and Zero was already heading back to the main hall. She watched him descend away and snatched up on the opportunity to catch Hanabusa. She figured that maybe he would have some new information for her.

“Hanabusa…” She whispered as she waved her hands to gain his attention.

Hanabusa turned, giving her a sly grin as he spotted her. “Yuuki, you know you should not be out around here at this hour. Besides, Kaname is not here, but you knew that. What can I do for you right now? Maybe…have a bite…”
Yuuki scoffed. Her fingers felt for the strap that Artemis was secured to, ready to draw her weapon if necessary. “No, you can’t do that. I just came to ask you if there was any new information on how to help Zero. I think he is getting worse…he won’t feed and he’s completely avoiding me. He can’t do that, knowing I have to be the one to destroy him if he looses control.”

Hanabusa frowned as he folded his arms across his chest. “Oh, Yiryu. Well, he is normally like that, he avoids everyone. There is no new information. You should just give up on Kiryu, its inevitable really…his fate. But I did mention something a few weeks back, maybe that’s what is eating him…now what did I tell him?”
Yuuki narrowed her eyes, reading into Hanabusa’s devious eyes. “Oh yeah, that’s right! I remember now, but too bad for you I can’t tell you, Yuuki. You belong to Kaname, if I told you I’d be betraying him and so would you. I can not do that because I am a loyal servant to him.”

“I don’t care! If it is going to help Zero I need to know. I can’t sit around and watch him deteriorate, I just can’t!” Yuuki shook from her head to her toes as she fought against the tears in her eyes.

“Calm down there Cross. He’s not a level E yet, geeze. He’s just having some boy issues.” Hanabusa snorted.

“Boy issues?” Yuuki asked, scratching the back of her head.

“Yeah, boy issues…you know, women, sex, dreams and desires, those types of boy issues.”
Yuuki wanted to laugh right than and there. “We are talking about the same Zero, right? Zero is not interested in any of those things and you and I both know that, Hanabusa. Zero would never be interested in girls just because he is a vampire…and he’s just not into anything… but killing and hating vampires.” Yuuki snorted.

“He is, Yuuki. Come on, would I lie? I can’t blame him though. She really is easy on the eyes.” Hanabusa sneered, eying up the portion of Yuuki’s neck that was exposed. He took a step forward and his eyes flashed red. He didn’t make it very far when he heard the sound of Zero’s gun being cocked. His looked to the right side of him, where he viewed the barrel of the pistol being dug into his temple.

“Touch her and you’ll be a thing of the past.” Zero growled.

Hanabusa raised his hands and backed off. “Easy there Mr. Disciplinary Committee. I wasn’t doing anything but having a little chat here with Yuuki.”

Zero narrowed his lavender eyes. “That’s not what those hellish eyes of yours said.”

Zero waited a moment before he retracted his gun and grabbed Yuuki by the wrist, dragging her down the path away Hanabusa. “Come on, Yuuki lets get going. You’ll only get your self in trouble with him.”
And me…He thought, sadly.

Zero plowed his way back towards the main hall, dragging a confused Yuuki behind him. Her scent was already getting to him, for his fangs had already protruded and eyes glowed red.

“Zero?! Let go now…my wrist is starting to hurt! What’s going on? Why are you avoiding me?” Yuuki wanted answers; she tried to pull her hand back and out of Zero’s grasp. But he kept moving forward and failed to answer her.

“Zero! Stop!” She yelled, finally earning his attention. He stopped suddenly, but did not let go of her wrist. “You didn’t have to be so rude to Aido, he wasn’t doing anything…besides Kaname would kill him if he really bit me…”

Zero sighed heavily. “That’s not it; he doesn’t need to go blabbing his big mouth to you…not about what he wanted to. It’s none of his business or yours.”

“What do you mean?” Yuuki asked finally getting her wrist back. Zero avoided her gaze.

“It’s nothing…Yuuki. Come on there is still work to do.” Zero turned and began to walk away when Yuuki reversed tactics and grabbed his wrist.

“Wait, Zero! What do you mean it’s none of my business? When it comes to you it’s always my business. What happened to us…we used to be so close…”

“Don’t be so melodramatic.” Zero snorted, still avoiding Yuuki’s glare. He didn’t have to see her to know the pain in her voice.

“I’m not! It’s just you have been so secretive lately! You won’t drink and you are avoiding me like the plague! If there is something else that I can do, Zero please tell me…I don’t know what else to do…” Yuuki practically begged. She yanked slightly on his hand that she now held in her soft hands.

Zero yanked his arm away from the shorter girl. “Yuuki, there is nothing you can do for me anymore. Besides you have chosen your path, Kaname is your path and you can’t change that and neither can I. Don’t pay any mind to that idiot, Aido. He just wants to screw every girl he sees, you included.”
Zero walked away leaving Yuuki to stand in utter confusion. She hadn’t decided her fate as of yet, so why the hell did he?

“Zero! Don’t you walk away from me! You can’t decide my fate you know!” She bellowed, through her now cupped hands. Yuuki could see Zero’s shoulders stiffen at her words.

“Is that so…” He asked as he turned back and walked towards Yuuki. He was in her face in a matter of seconds. “I didn’t decide your fate Yuuki.” He growled. “You decided, you choose him and you know it. If it were that you were given the choice of who could feed off of you, you know it would be him. You know that. I know that and you are not giving him up because of me Yuuki. I don’t want you to. Stop persisting and leave me alone.”
Yuuki swallowed hard as she could feel the warmth of his breath barely touch her lips. “Please don’t say things like that, Zero. Please…I am connected to him, he saved my life. But I won’t leave you alone, never. Even if you hate me…”

Zero sighed hard and looked to the ground. “Like I said, I could never hate you…”
Yuuki took a step forward and shoved her wrist into Zero’s vision, near his lips. “Then take a bite…Please.”

* * * * *

Yuuki had not seen Zero in three days, since their encounter with Hanabusa. And still, Zero refused to feed from her. She thought about what Hanabusa had told her about Zero.

“Yeah, boy issues…you know, women, sex, dreams and desires, those types of boy issues.”

Had Zero been lusting after her? Or maybe another girl? Was it worse because of the fact his was a vampire? Yuuki had to found out one way or another. She wouldn’t go to Hanabusa though. She would have to find a night classman that wasn’t such a horney toad. Yuuki decided to see the Night’s class Vice President, Takuma Ichijo. He was the most human-like out of all the vampires at the Academy. He was kind and very knowledgeable and felt he was someone she could trust. Yuuki met up with Takuma a few weeks later while his fellow classmates get ready for the holidays. She started the conversation casually and had to almost slap herself from blushing.

“So um Takuma, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, Yuuki. What is it?”

“Well you see, I heard from um…Aido that Vampires…um how do I say this…like sex?” She hadn’t meant to sound so childish and uneducated.

Takuma smiled, blushing at the question. “Aido, huh? Sounds like something he would say. Unfortunately he’s right… to a point. Vampires do enjoy sex as humans do…but the blood lust can make it worse. The more a Vampire lusts, the more they want…sex. But some of us are controlled. I hope you don’t think that I do that kind of stuff with all the girls on campus…I have a girlfriend in a different area...”

Yuuki blushed again. “No! I don’t think that! I was just wondering is all.”

“I’ll tell you something he probably didn’t tell you. Love makes it worse too…real love. Vampire’s have souls too, and are like humans, we desire love too. If a Vampire loves someone, they want to show it as anyone else…they want to feed as well. Why are you asking me this…not that I mind and all…it’s just a strange question…coming from you. Is it Kaname?”

Yuuki nearly jumped at the sound of his name. Takuma answered before she even got a word in. “Kaname is the most controlled out of us. You shouldn’t worry about him.”

“Oh no, it’s not Kaname! He’s always a gentleman. I was just wondering…you know that stupid Aido!” Yuuki giggled like an idiot.

“Oh, I see. Well, if I could give you some advice, Kaname would never hurt you Yuuki…but what in stores your fate may. Kaname has plans that I don’t see in your best interest. Not that I am saying he’s a bad guy. I respect him…I just don’t think the decisions he has made are for the best. I think you should help Zero as much as you can. He doesn’t seem to have much time left. Spend that time wisely.”

Yuuki threw herself on her empty bed cried when she returned to her dorm. She hated being stuck in the middle of Kaname and Zero. And what was this plan Kaname had for her? Why was she always in the dark?

“I think you should help Zero as much as you can. He doesn’t seem to have much time left. Spend that time wisely.”

What was it that Takuma was trying to subliminally tell her? She knew that Vampires could love; she knew that well from Kaname. But there was something else that Takuma had to offer, but wasn’t telling. Was he trying to tell her to go after Zero? She couldn’t go after Zero. For one thing, he was her family and…well, he was always hard to reach especially now-a-days. Zero had pushed himself away soon after he began feeding off of her. Yuuki began to feel more useless to her long-time friend. But there was something else that nagged her. Her feelings towards Zero were certainly not that of a brother, sister relationship. She had a bond with him that was much more special, the problem was she didn’t understand why. Kaname was waiting for her to make a decision-but was he really? Or was he planning to decide whatever fate he felt suited her. Would he pursue and force her into marriage as he felt necessary? Yuuki wanted to repay Kaname for saving her life, but maybe marriage was too much. She was only 17 after all. Zero would never force Yuuki to do something she didn’t want to, and she was never afraid of him, as she was with the other Vampires; even Kaname. Yuuki signed loudly as she sat up. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and decided a bath was needed to ease her racing mind.

She grabbed her needed items for the bath and headed to the bathroom. Yuuki closed the bathroom door behind her, forgetting to lock it. She dumped her pajamas, panties, hair brush and blow dryer on the large marble sink and turned the taps of the water to hot. Letting the water run and heating up the room, she began to undress in front of the mirror. She pulled her boots off first, setting them aside near the sink. Her stockings came next, then the crimson ribbon of her tie. She unbuttoned her jacket and pulled the garment off her shoulders, forgetting to take her Guardian arm band off. She stopped at the top three buttons of her white blouse to finger the two circular puncture marks on the right side of her neck. They had completely healed and hardly noticeable which was in indication that Zero had not feed off of her for weeks. He must be in agony and the reason she hadn’t seen him for the last three days. She sighed again, stopping the tears from falling from her wet eyes. She finished unbuttoning her blouse, shimmed out of her skirt and was left in her bra and panties. She looked into the mirror, starting from her face to see her large, puffy red doe eyes. She noted the dark circles from many nights of no sleep and the blotchiness of her face. Her gaze wondered down her body. Her small breasts were erected from the chill. Was she really that desirable, that even Zero lusted after her? She was by no means perfect, small in the bust and skinny as a rail. Who in there right mind would like that?

Yuuki closed her eyes letting her breath out and her chin fall to her chest. A moment past and a flash of hands and lavender eyes crossed her mind. She remembered Zero’s eyes when he almost kissed her, they were so intense and so dark; but not dark with crimson blood lust, something else she hadn’t seen…real, raw lust. He wanted more than just a bite. Why did it seem that she was always the cause of his torture? It was blood at first, now it was that desire and need on top of his illness to level E. Did he really need her that way? Did she need him like that? Certainly not! This was Zero she was thinking about; cold, stoic and moody Zero. A person that had called her flat chested more that once and pushed her when she pushed on him like squabbling siblings.
The vision came again and this time Zero was kissing her with as much intensity as his eyes showed. Yuuki blushed, as she snapped her eyes open. She blinked a few times before dashing to the now filled tub and turning the water taps off. She sank into the steaming water and closed her eyes. A few moments of relaxation would be just fine.

Yuuki wrapped her small pink towel around her form when she was finished scrubbing her hair dry. She realized that she left her items in the sink room, including her clothes but thought nothing of it. That was until she was met with those familiar lavender eyes of Zero Kiryu. Yuuki stopped dead in her tracks, frozen like a deer in front of head lights. She stared at him for moment, taking in his appearance. He was wearing a white tee and sweats. He was paler than she had ever seen him. His eyes were darker and tinged with the red hunger she was all too familiar with. Dark circles were also prevalent under his eyes. She wouldn’t have to guess that he was sick.

“Zero…where have you been? You haven’t been to class, is everything okay? Are you feeling alright?” Yuuki finally spoke up. Zero blinked a few times before answering.

“I’m fine, Yuuki.” He gruffly replied, but still not moving.

Yuuki snorted. “You don’t look fine to me. You look like death…I don’t like you looking like that.” She looked to the floor briefly before continuing. “Zero, just…please drink. I know it’s not a cure but it helps, even a little.” She pleaded quietly as she took a few steps closer to him. She rubbed her hand along the side of his smooth cheek.

“Just a little…I don’t understand why you are suddenly avoiding me.” She barely whispered. She felt Zero’s cool fingers touch hers.

“Yuuki…why? Why do you do this?” Zero answered in a whisper.

Yuuki was surprised to see his eyes looking into hers. They flashed red and moment later Zero had his arms wrapped around her petite body. Yuuki felt him breathe in her scent. She trembled when she felt his breath hit the side of her neck. She expected at any moment the tinge of his bite. But felt nothing but his body trembling against hers.

“I don’t care if you belong to him…I need to be there for you, Yuuki. I need to protect you, even from myself. That’s why I have been avoiding you…you don’t understand. Even now it is so damn hard for me. I am losing control, and when that happens…you know what you have to do.”

Yuuki ignored the feeling of his lips brushing against her neck. “Stop it Zero, just stop saying stuff like that…if you were losing control you’d be biting everyone on campus, and your not. If you would just tell me maybe I would understand. I want you to tell me, Zero. That’s why I am here. I am here for you.”

Zero held her tighter. “Yuuki…” He dragged her name out in a plea. “I don’t want anyone but you and your blood and it’s disgusting. And now it seems the beast in me want other things too…things that I just can’t have.” With that last statement, Yuuki felt his lips caress her neck in the very spot he should have bitten.

“Zero…” She whispered, carrying out the two syllables of his name.

Yuuki blushed as she felt the reactions of her body start to take over. Zero kissed the side of her jaw and than the opposite side. Yuuki looked for the color of his eyes, but they were covered by half closed lids. She gripped the back of his shirt as she felt him at her lips, chastely. Zero shook from head to toe and tried to back away, but this time Yuuki stopped him with her lips. She moved on quick wits, pressing her lips rather roughly against Zero’s as she stood on her tippy toes. Zero responded hastily pressing back and running his tongue against her bottom lip to seek entrance. Yuuki, who was new at kissing, shyly obliged earning a grunt from her long time friend. Zero swept his tongue into her mouth and coaxed her own to move. A few seconds later, Yuuki responded as if she was a pro. She pressed her body against his, arching her back. Zero moved down the column of her neck and off to the side, sucking against her sensitive flesh. Yuuki’s thoughts fell short when she felt a sudden wave of heat take over her body. It made her nipples harden and her belly pool. Her knees became weak and there was no denying the sudden wetness between her legs.

“Zero…” She panted as she felt the tips of his fangs graze against her neck. Yuuki’s breath was taken away when she felt the sting of his fangs pierce her skin. He was not even hesitant. She could hear him drinking and her pulse beating wildly with in her veins. Yuuki arched against him again, moving her hands to caress his hair. The world began to blur and it was then that Yuuki realized that Zero had to stop drinking before she passed out. He must have sensed her dilemma because she no longer felt him drinking, but back to suckling her neck. Yuuki didn’t even see a drop spilled. Zero pulled up and licked his lips. His eyes were crimson and dark. Yuuki could not bear to see the guilty look upon his face and kissed him again, fiercely. Her tactic worked and Zero soon forgot what had occurred backed Yuuki into the base of the sink. He was insistent and fierce. His hands wondered down her sides and one moved under her towel and between her legs. Yuuki gasped when she felt his fingers touched place that was considered sacred.

“Maybe I was wrong…” Zero whispered into her ear. “You are wet…so wet, and for me…Am I the cause of your arousal Yuuki?” Yuuki arched into him when she felt his fingers touch the pearl that sent shivers down her spine and back. She couldn’t think clearly, but she had to say something.

“Zero…look at me, let me see your eyes. Is this you or….the-“Yuuki’s sentence turned into a moan as she felt his fingers gently messaging her womanhood.

Zero listened and looked into her brown eyes. His eyes were their normal hue, but he frowned. “It’s not the vile beast, it is me…but…” Suddenly he pulled his hand away from her heat and Yuuki almost whined from the lost, way to kill the mood, idiot.

“No Zero! Don’t stop!” She hadn’t meant to sound so desperate, but in truth she really needed him, and she wanted him to enjoy himself and the time he had left.

“I didn’t mean to say it like that. Don’t stop, I want you to feel good…because you’re making me feel good.”

Yuuki tried to continue with out her cheeks burning. It was a failed attempt for her, for she could see Zero studying her face. He sighed again taking a step back and looking to the floor.

“This is exactly why I have been avoiding you, Yuuki. It is me…but not me. I don’t even know how I knew to do that to you and that frightens me. I would never ask something to tainted to you. You are my family, my only family. Besides you have to stay pure for Kaname, if I tainted you, he would be the first to know; even if he is not here on the grounds.”

Yuuki took the opportunity to stop Zero’s statement to steak her own. “I don’t care!” she bellowed. She was shocked she even had the nerve to say such a thing. “I don’t care what Kaname thinks. He won’t lay a finger on you if I tell him not to! I saw you speaking to Hanabusa the other day, what did he tell you Zero? Did he tell you that this was completely normal to desire, to lust and to love, even as a vampire?! Did he tell you that?! Takuma told me the truth, not what ever garbage you heard from Hanabusa! He’s a total horn ball and everyone knows that even the night class!”

Yuuki covered her mouth at the slip of her admission. That was a little more than she wanted to share with Zero. For she knew that he would’ve figured out she followed him and had a conversation of his own with Aido. Which by judging from Zero’s annoyed expression he already knew.

Zero crossed his arms across his chest. “You followed me that day didn’t you? That’s why I found you with Aido, Yuuki damn it! That was really foolish to do and a little immature. It’s my business anyway-“

“I know it was, Zero. I know that… but I asked how I could help you more. You haven’t been drinking and you are getting sicker. I thought that is there was something else I could do. Tamuka thinks it may help…because…”

Zero frowned. “Because I am a Vampire and Vampires need such distasteful things like sex from a virgin. Don’t tell me anymore I might just vomit.” He turned away to leave, but once again, Yuuki was not going to let that happen.

“NO! You wrong Zero! He told me that vampire’s whether you want to believe it or not, are not as inhuman as you think. They love too. And that love makes a blood lust worse in some respects…and the reason…the reason you are getting so bad is…because you love me, isn’t? Yuuki nearly whispered looking forward to see Zero flinch and his shoulders fall.

“I do…” He whispered so faintly Yuuki almost didn’t hear him. But he never turned back to look at her. “I do…but that’s not going to help me stop from becoming a level E. And Kaname…he is for you, no matter how I feel about it, that’s what it is, Yuuki.”