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The Aftermath	By : larien04 Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 1404 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I dont own Hetalia and I make no money off this fic; although if you'd like to pay me for it I wouldnt exactly say no.

Chapter List
- 1-The Aftermath
- 2-Chapter 2
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Francis wanted to help his husband, he really did, but he wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with Arthurs moods. He had always joked that his love was just a little bit bipolar but now he was starting to think that there might be some clinical basis for his jokes. There were times where Arthur was his again, truly his and they would sit and laugh together and he would wrap his arms around his waist and kiss his neck and everything would be perfect. And then there were times where Arthur would shiver if they so much as brushed hands. Those days were the hardest for Francis, and every time Arthur would reject a touch or a kiss or a hug it would kill him just a little more inside.

They hadn’t made love since the incident and, of course, he was not going to pressure Arthur on the issue, but the cold hard fact was that he was sexually frustrated and he felt terrible for it. It’s not as if he was a sexual deviant and couldn’t go without sex, it was just simple logistics: before the rape they had been a very active couple. They were head over heels in love and have always been so since the end of the Second World War when they had finally put all their games and all their hatred aside and had just finally allowed themselves to be together. They had never regretted an instant of it and now Francis was left wondering how they had gotten to this point.

Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate, he knew the events that led to his Arthur in this state, but what he didn’t know was why the hell he couldn’t fix it, not only that but why it seemed that it was getting worse. Arthur had continued to steadily lose weight despite all his protests and all his best efforts since they had moved back to their Parisian home. He had done everything from asking nicely to talking logically to him about it to flat out demanding but Arthur could never get anything more than half a sandwich down before he got physically ill. He had tried all of Arthur’s favorites, hell he had even made English food, and it seemed like Arthur did want to eat the food but there was some sort of disconnect that was just not letting him do it. Even Arthur, on his good days, could not explain what it was that seemed to be making him so adverse to food.

Today had not been one of Arthur’s good days and as Francis lie there in bed that evening he couldn’t help but wonder how much longer this was going to continue before one of them broke completely. He wasn’t sure how many more days he could take waking up and wondering if Arthur was going to cling to him and return his affections or if he was going to flinch at the slightest of touches.

It was the rejection that drove him mad, the complete and utter rejection of his affections, when no less than two weeks ago Arthur had broken down and said that he couldn’t bear the thought of waking up without him. What had happened to that Arthur?

Before they had decided to be lovers, and even before they had decided to be frenemies with benefits, Francis had once been a mentor, a sort of big brother, to Arthur. He had always prided himself with having an uncanny ability to solve people’s problems, specifically if they were of a romantic nature, so why couldn’t he solve this? God, if only he hadn’t ever opened his mouth to begin with this would not be happening right now. He knew he could have prevented this if he had just put the tiniest bit of thought into what he had said. He has always known that Arthur was a jealous person and he has always known that Arthur had always been particularly bitter over the Auld Alliance so why, why, did he think it was a good idea to tell him that he had lost his virginity to the man his husband hated the most in this world? Still, not even in his wildest dreams would he have ever thought that anything he could have ever said would lead to his husband’s rape and the complete and utter breakdown of their marriage.

Francis rarely invoked God’s name these days and it had been many, many, years since he had stepped into one of his magnificent cathedral’s, other than to admire their beauty, but as he lie in bed staring up at the ceiling it was all he could do to not close his eyes and ask that a higher power intercede on his behalf. He didn’t know what he was really asking for, he didn’t know if he was asking for Arthur to find peace or if he was asking that this nightmare would end soon, but he was hoping that somebody up there knew.

***** *********

The following day Francis decided that if Arthur wasn’t, mentally, in a position to try and make this marriage work then he was going to take the first step. There was no chance that he would sit idly by and watch everything they worked so hard for just fall apart.

They had been sitting on the couch in a companionable silence with Francis’ arms around Arthurs slim frame and the blonde in question leaning back into his embrace when he had posed the question.

“I know you aren’t going to like it when I say this, cher, but what would you think about some therapy sessions?”

Arthurs entire body tensed at the word ‘therapy’ and he turned his body so that he was looking at Francis eye to eye. “No. Absolutely not”

The Frenchman sighed “Arthur, I’m going to be very honest with you like we have always been with one another. What happened to you…it was my fault. If I had simply let you believe that it was Antonio, like you had originally thought, we wouldn’t be here right now. I know that I shouldn’t say to you that I feel like it would have been better if I had lied but sometimes I wish I had.”

Arthur shook his head fiercely “It’s not your fault, Francis. God, don’t blame yourself. I’m the idiot who went over there, I’m the one who didn’t think, and I’m the one that has done this to our marriage…”

“Just tell me why, Arthur. What possessed you to go over there to begin with?”

Averting his gaze and clenching his fists in his typical fashion Arthur stubbornly refused to answer the question.

“Arthur, you can either tell me what’s going on in that head of yours or you can tell some professional that I will hire for you. Make your choice.”

The Englishman let out a long ragged breath and flopped back against the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “Has it really come to all this, Francis?”

“You think I like doing this to you, Arthur? Trying to force information out of you? I hate it. We have always been able to talk our differences out, always. I know that you are very guarded with your emotions, Arthur, and I usually let you get away with it but I can’t take this any longer. Please, talk to me and let me help you heal. Please.”

Wringing his hands and fidgeting the younger nation attempted to explain himself “I can’t make you understand the reason I went over there because I’m not sure that I know the reason myself. All I could think of when I was on the way to his house was ‘what gave him the right to taint the only thing that I have that makes me happy?’ The only thing that kept running through my brain were these images of the both of you together. I know it was stupid and I know that I’m not the only one you have ever been with, Christ, I know that but why did it have to be him?! I wasn’t thinking straight at all, you see. I just…god I don’t know. I think…I think it’s for the best if I went home for a while, Francis.”

Francis had no idea as to what he had expected Arthur to say but it definitely wasn’t this. The words had hit him like a ton of bricks and he suddenly felt like it was getting harder to breathe.

“Arthur…” he started, but there were so many words he wanted to say that he just couldn’t seem to get out between the painful constricting of his heart and the complete and utter shock he was feeling. Arthur wanted to leave him? He knew that their relationship was troubled but surely it hadn’t come to this had it?

The British Nation had to avert his eyes if he was going to continue because there was no way it was going to be possible to say what he needed to with Francis looking very similar to a kicked puppy dog. “Look,” he started solemnly “I just need to sort things out for myself; I’m only hurting you the longer I stay here. I know it’s been killing you to see me like this and I think if I spend some time in my own home with my own people then I can try to start getting over… this.”

“So this is it then? This is what you want? You think that you’ll be able to get through this if you leave?” Francis confirmed not sure if he could actually believe the words coming out of Arthur’s mouth. This idea of a temporary separation was directly conflicting with his entire attitude towards marriage and it was making him physically ill. How could he possibly allow Arthur to leave in this state? More importantly, how could Arthur want to leave?

All he received in response was a simple affirmative nod.

The French nation felt like a failure; he had failed to act in time to save their marriage and now it seemed as if his life was falling apart and like their marriage vows meant nothing. Wasn’t he supposed to be there in sickness and in health? Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control and all he could do was plead his case and hope that Arthur saw some reason. “I know you’ve always been a very independent person, Arthur, but… we’re a family now and we’re supposed to work through things together. It took us so long to get to this point in our lives please don’t leave. I love you and I know we can get through this, together” he choked on the last word, he was only hanging on to his emotions by a thread.

Moving to get off the couch and away from the situation Arthur shook his head as if he couldn’t believe he was actually doing this either. “I’m not leaving forever, just until I sort things out, and I’ll only be across the Channel it’s not that far. I’ll be back, I promise”

Francis shook his head “When? When will you be back? I need you, Arthur. If you want to go home then that’s fine mais let me come with you, d’accord?”

Arthur shook his head in the negative “I know that it seems like I’m being selfish but there are just some things that you can’t help me with. I don’t know how to explain myself I just...” he paused trying to think of the right words “…I just feel as if a piece of me is missing and I don’t entirely know what that piece is but I know I need to figure it out on my own. I’ve arranged for a plane to take me home this evening…”

The Frenchman didn’t even bother to mask the pained look on his face or the moisture in his eyes. He wanted to reach out and stop Arthur from leaving but something held him back. He had a thousand and one things he wanted to say but something caught in his throat and instead he just nodded halfheartedly and watched with a despondent look as his husband turned and left the room.

They didn’t dine together that evening, Francis knew he wouldn’t have been able to bear it, and when it came time for Arthur to walk out the door to their shared home and leave for London Francis discovered that despite the situation he still had no words, and so he did the only thing he knew best; he wrapped his arms around his husbands waist and held fast.

Arthur cautiously leaned into the embrace with a look that spoke of both remorse and determination “I’ll be back, you know, I just…”

“—just need to figure things out” Francis finished for him putting on a smile that they both knew was far from genuine “I will be here waiting for you when you do.”

Arthur, wearing a matching faux smile, tightened his grip on his husband briefly before whispering “I know you will” into his ear and closing the door behind him without another word.

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A/N: I'm sooooo sorry for the fact that it took me FOREVER to get this chapter out to you guys. I had some medical issues and I just felt like crap after surgery and my muse kind of disappeared. Luckily my muse is back and I've already started working on the next chapter. I promise you guys that there will, eventually, be a happy ending so bear with me during these sad parts and you will find rich rewards at the end.
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The Aftermath