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Not an Angel	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > Yaoi-Male/Male > L/Light Views: 3629 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
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CHAPTER 2: Show Me Yours

L said, "The human sees me now, doesn't he? Why is that?"

Forcing the tremble out of his voice, Light said, "I'm Light Yagami. I'm able to see you because I touched the notebook you left for me."

L hooked a finger in his mouth. Light wondered whether L's teeth were very slightly pointed, or whether he was imagining that detail.

L said, "Your name reads as 'Tsuki Yagami' and your numbers-"

Ryuk shouted, "Don't tell him the numbers or you'll die."

Damn! I almost got rid of him.

L said, "You keep saying things like that, Ryuk. I'm not sure if I believe you. Is there a way to test your statement without risking death?"

Ryuk shrugged and said, "I don't know. I guess not with the things you'll die for. I suppose you can test the things that only cause pain, and then you can believe the rest or not as you wish. Doesn't matter to me."

L turned directly towards Light and began advancing. As the thing crawled into the bed with him Light instinctively backed up. Ignoring this, L climbed on top of him and pinned him with an iron, merciless grip. Up close, L looked bigger than Light remembered. Yes, despite his slouch, L was certainly a little taller than he'd been in life.

Will he keep growing? Will he become as large and as monstrous as Ryuk?

Light caught his breath, forcing himself to slow and not show fear as the shinigami straddled his stomach. It was obvious, as L's hands fluttered and swiped in the empty space above Light's head, that L was merely curious about the name and lifespan he could see. That was all he was doing. A harmless, childish exploration.

He has no sense of personal boundaries. I will have to teach him those, fast, along with teaching him to not touch the task force members or to touch items where they can see. Maybe if I turn him into a food addict I'll have more leverage. Yes, fruit or... or better yet, cake. I think that would suit him.

L said, "It is written as 'Tsuki' but pronounced as 'Light', is that correct?"

"Yes."

L's hands were on Light's shoulders again, gripping badly enough they felt they were about to form bruises. Light gasped and struggled.

"Light Yagami, where is a mirror?"

Light pushed back, like pushing against an iron wall, and said, "Let go!"

L obeyed.

Light pointed to the bathroom door, gasping, and said, "In there."

L got up off the bed.

Light said, "Don't do that again. It hurts!"

L glanced back, his head cocked to the side in a peculiarly L-like way, and said, "I'm sorry. It seems I am stronger than I expect to be. I did not wish to hurt you."

L drifted towards the bathroom, stopping halfway through the door and then becoming occupied with the wall when he noticed his arm going right through it.

While L became obsessed with poking his arm and then head in and out of the wall and Ryuk grinned, Light fished his cellphone out of his pocket and called a cake delivery service. There would be only a few hours of peace until Misa returned, and in theory any of the task force members might arrive sooner, if they felt like coming in for extra hours of off-duty work. Usually they didn't, but Ide and Matsuda were particularly unpredictable.

It would be best to turn L into a severely dependent cake-addict before anyone else might show up.

Light was halfway through the order of sending seven large cakes of various kinds when L finally made it that last little distance to the bathroom mirror and Light heard his mournful voice saying, "Why is my name only one letter? Just being called 'L' doesn't seem fair."

Light could see part of L's figure, leaned over the bathroom sink, when L suddenly gasped, a pleasurable, sensual sound. L said, "What... what is that? It feels... ah... it feels very good."

Ryuk smiled. Light kept talking on the phone but scooted to the further end of the bed to get a better look at L.

L gasped, "Ah, that's it! My numbers are increasing. How... ah, that's good."

His lifespan is going up!

Ryuk looked at Light and said, "It's just like when we shinigami gamble among ourselves. The loser transfers years to the winner. I have plenty of lifespan and I've got the power to give it to another shinigami, if I choose. L would have died in a few minutes if I hadn't given him any lifespan."

Yes, of course you wouldn't want your fun to end so easily. What a pain!

L said, "Don't stop! No!"

Ryuk said, "Sorry buddy, but I've got to keep some for myself. I gave you a hundred years, L. After that, you're on your own."

L isn't going to die from lack of lifespan during my lifetime; that's Ryuk's intention. Ryuk is teasing me.

L staggered out of the bathroom, looking dazed and bright-eyed, his normally pale cheeks flushed pink. He said, "I know that 'years' are a long time, and that 'a hundred years' is an extremely long time. I also know that 'a few minutes' is a very short time. How can I know these things if I'm new? For that matter, how can I speak without learning how to talk?"

He's catching on fast. This is the same L, even if he's innocent.

Ryuk said, "Every shinigami is created the way you are."

L stalked over to Light's desk and poked at the computer. He said, "I can almost think of the name for this."

L stretched out a long finger and tapped the glass of the monitor as he said, "There are pictures here sometimes, aren't there? There is something where you type and words appear, to communicate with others?"

Light said, "Yes, that's a computer."

The food service employee on the phone misunderstood and Light had to repeat part of the cake order again.

L said, "That's a cellphone. You are talking to some other human who is at a distance?"

Ryuk said, "Yep, that's it!"

L crawled onto the bed next to Light and crouched. Light finished the call and tried to put the cellphone away, but L snatched it to stare at the buttons and the glowing screen.

"This cellphone looks very annoying. Why do you tolerate it?"

Before Light could answer, L suddenly pushed Light down on to the bed with that monstrous, irresistible strength and said, "Don't struggle. I'll be gentle."

What is he-

Light's eyes were wide, his breath caught in his throat. Fingers were playing with the buttons on Light's shirt. Long, spidery, strong fingers that ghosted gently, barely touching. In mere moments, L had figured out the mystery of buttons and was unbuttoning, starting at Light's throat.

"L, this is not-"

"Shhhh. This is clothing, isn't it? I can take it off without hurting you. Clothing is not like your skin, which must stay on."

"Don't-"

"I need to see."

L stripped Light's shirt halfway down, and then the fingers brushed along Light's shoulders and neck; soft, feathery touches.

L said, "I do not see any damage. Are you injured here where I squeezed you? Does it still hurt?"

It's only because he feels guilty. He doesn't know anything.

"It hurts a little," Light lied.

In a very earnest voice, L said, "I will be more careful in the future, Light. Even if there are no consequences for me, it is wrong to inflict injuries in any way. I feel this strongly. You should injure me to serve justice."

L still has a sense of justice, but it is yet unformed. It is something that I will shape. He will think the way I intend him to think.

L's earnest, innocent face was hovering just above Light's own, and L was begging, actually begging, for punishment. Light couldn't resist.

In a sudden movement, Light swiped a pen from a nearby nightstand and stabbed L in the wrist. L screamed and jumped high enough to crack the ceiling, raining down small chunks of plaster. Blood droplets spattered down, along with the pen.

L landed across the room, letting out screams amidst long drawn-out gasps. The wound was turning from red to pink and getting smaller.

Ryuk didn't have blood when the bus hijacker shot him, and he didn't have pain either. Is this just because L is a young shinigami? If I hurt him badly enough, would he not recover from it?

With L's sobbing forming a delicious background sound, Light stared at the blood spots soaking into the blankets.

Is shinigami blood visible to others once it has exited the body? I should smuggle these blankets away just in case, though if any of the rest saw it, they would just assume Misa had had an accident during her period.

The sobbing stopped. L held up his wrist and said, "It healed, and it no longer hurts. This doesn't happen to humans, does it?"

Ryuk answered, "Nope, they're fragile."

A look of child-like wonder spread across L's face. It was strange and unsettling to see his expression so unguarded, so emotional, instead of the layers of masks Light was used to.

L stalked forward again, climbing into the bed and pushing Light down.

"No! This isn't-"

L touched a nipple and said, "This pink thing, do I have them too?"

Light said, "L, you are being rude! Your behavior is completely unacceptable!"

"In what way?"

L climbed onto Light's stomach and tugged at the bandages going around his chest. All at once, the bandages fell loose in that area, as if each tape-like strip had grown magically longer. There was still no beginning or end visible on any of them. L looked down at his partially-bared chest. Two nipples did peek through the gaps between the now-loose bandages. L played with them.

Light said, "Unless you get permission first, it is rude to push anyone down, it is rude to undress anyone, it is rude to touch human bodies or to look at them if they are undressed, and it is rude to touch your own body under the bandages if anyone else can see. We are done playing 'if I show you mine will you show me yours' and if you want to play with yourself, you'll do it where I can't see, okay? These things can actually be serious crimes."

L jumped to the other end of the bed and perched there, bird-like. He hung his head, looking ashamed. He said, "I'm sorry, I did not realize I might be committing crimes. I don't understand."

The loose strips of bandages in L's chest area suddenly tightened, once again perfectly following L's contours and hiding his nipples and chest skin.

Light said, "I will forgive you if you obey and listen to me in the future."

"Yes, I will listen and obey. Light, I am finding the beginning of my life difficult. If I am a shinigami, then why do I look like you, a human, instead of looking like Ryuk, another shinigami? My face is very similar to your own, as is my height and the structure of my hands and feet. I even have the pink things."

Ryuk said, "That's how new shinigami always start out. You'll look close to human, except for the wings you'll grow soon, until you start killing humans. Then you'll look less human the more you kill. After you've killed a few hundred, you'll look quite like me. If you manage to kill in the thousands, you'll look about as human as a spider does. If you kill in the tens of thousands, you'll be lucky if you look like a pillar of flesh covered with eyes. Of course, since I just gave you a century of lifespan, I suppose you'll be looking much like you do now for a long time."

This means Ryuk was a human once. Ryuk deliberately chose L to mess with me. Are new shinigami picked from anyone who has died, or just from those who were killed with a death note?

L said, "Why would I kill humans? That's wrong, isn't it? Yes, it feels evil just thinking about it. Wait, earlier you said I can't seriously injure or kill humans in an unapproved way. Does this have something to do with that?"

Light gestured toward the death note on the nightstand and said, "That's the approved tool for killing. It's called a death note. I touched it so that I would become the owner and you wouldn't be able to use it to kill humans. I saved you from your own evil, L, and soon I will send the death note away, where you will never see it again."

L hooked a finger in his lower lip and said, "A shinigami steals years from humans, is that correct? But I was given years from another shinigami. Ryuk said something about gambling for lifespan. After I run out of years, could I gamble for more and avoid killing?"

"I suppose you could," Ryuk said, "but it wouldn't save human lives. The other shinigami you won from would just have to load up on more fuel to replace what they'd lost, so just as much killing would still happen. It wouldn't be you who was doing the killing; that's the only difference. Well, as long as you never lost a gamble. If you lost you'd have to choose between dying yourself or getting more lifespan by killing a human."

If I can trick L into gambling with Ryuk and losing, I might be able to kill him that way, if L still doesn't have any death note at that time.

L huddled in on himself and said, "That's not good. No, that's not good at all. I don't want to be a thing that kills humans."

Ryuk said, "Then die when you run out. It doesn't matter to me."

Ryuk walked close to L and said, "Actually, there are a few things about being a shinigami we should discuss in private, away from the human. It wouldn't be any fun if you die by accident soon."

Ryuk picked up L's curled form, easily hoisting the new shinigami to his shoulder, and said, "We're going to the roof, Light. If you go up there we'll just come back down, or we'll go into a different apartment."

What will Ryuk tell him?

Ryuk grew out his wings and crouched, obviously ready to launch himself and his passenger through the ceiling.

Light said, "Ryuk, I'm offended. I've got a new shinigami in my care, and you won't tell me how to best protect him? It's not as if the rules are terrible secrets."

Ryuk laughed and said, "I haven't told you quite all of the rules, Light. Besides, some rules don't apply to him yet, or they only apply part-way."

In the next moment, Ryuk flapped up through the ceiling and they were gone.

Light scrambled to get out ordinary paper and write down directions for exactly how to set up his master plan. With L around, Misa would need to do it, without any verbal communication at all, and it was best to get it started quickly.

Five minutes later, Light had all the on-premises death notes and the written instructions sealed into a big envelope. There were a few modifications because of L, but most of the plan could stay intact. He called Misa and told her to come home as soon as possible.

The cakes had arrived at the door by the time Ryuk and L returned from their little chat. L was obviously sulking. Light made L carry the cakes into the kitchen and put them on the table, but L ignored them. While Light outlined a set of rules of behavior for L, he took out some plates, cut elegant slices of cake, started eating one himself and set the other in front of L.

Shivers worked through L's body and he hid his face between his knees.

Light stopped eating and said, "What's wrong? You should eat something. It's important to experience the pleasures of life. That way you'll feel better."

L muttered into his knees, "I don't like these cakes."

"You can't know unless you try."

Light moved to stand behind L's chair, cut a bite-sized piece of L's cake, and tried to feed it to him. L pushed the fork away.

"No, it smells funny. The smell makes my mouth wet inside."

"That's a good thing, L. Your mouth is letting you know that it wants to eat."

"No," L said, and gripped the fork tightly. There was no chance to win against L's new strength.

That only left cheating. With a quick movement, Light plunged his hand into a yellow cake with lemon frosting and then smeared it over L's mouth.

L rubbed with his hand and licked. His expression changed, his eyes suddenly bright and excited. He licked again, and began devouring the mess from his hand. He grabbed another piece and began eating it with a speed Light had never before seen in L. Human L had been someone to play delicately with his food for hours, hardly eating any. Shinigami L was eating cake by the handful. He finished the lemon cake and started in on a chocolate cake that was covered with walnut pieces and cherries.

There was a sound of someone unlocking the door. Light said, "That should be Misa. Stay here. If it isn't Misa, you absolutely cannot reveal yourself, remember?"

L stopped eating and brushed the crumbs from his body, going incorporeal to cause the last of the incriminating smears to drop away.

"Yes. I will obey."

That one word, "obey", sent a marvelous thrill through Light each time L said it.

Light hurried to retrieve the sealed package from the bedroom and rushed back just in time to meet Misa before she could enter the kitchen.

Light pushed it into her hands and said, "Don't act surprised, no matter what happens. There's a new death note and a new shinigami. You must take this package away immediately and follow the instructions. Don't linger here to chat, and don't say anything bad."

From almost behind Light's ear, L's voice said, "Why are you sending it away so secretly?"

Light said, "Shinigami, you might use it to kill. I am performing justice by removing the temptation from you completely."

Against orders, L slipped around Light's body and his gaze scanned Misa's form from head to toe and then returned to linger on her breasts.

L said, "Oh, he is a pretty human. I like the chest bumps."

"She," Light corrected.

L mumbled, "Ah, yes, the concept of 'female' seems nearly familiar to me now. It is as if I can almost remember it. The chest bumps are breasts, aren't they? Can I play with them? Thinking about them makes me feel like cake does."

L has a libido? But he has apparently forgotten about sex.

Misa said, "A new shinigami? How exciting! What's his name?"

"Misa, he's dangerous until you leave and follow the instructions. You'll be able to see him after you've handled his death note. Greetings can wait."

"Yes, Misa will obey. Okay, bye Light! Will you miss me when I'm gone?"

Light used his hands on her shoulders to steer her around and push her out the door.

As soon as she was gone, Light turned around to see L with that dreaded calculating expression on his face, one finger hooked into his lower lip.

L said, "That package was much thicker than my death note. What else was in it?"

Before Light could think of an answer, L let out a blood-curdling scream and dropped to his hands and knees on the floor.

The scream trailed off into hard panting. When L looked up, sweat beads stood out on his forehead.

L said, "My back hurts. Ryuk! Ryuk, you didn't tell me about this!"

Ryuk phased through a wall and said, "Your wings are coming in. Yeah, I told you. It'll hurt and it'll be a few days."

"You didn't say it would feel like this!"

"It'll hurt a lot worse! This is the mild stage, when the pain comes and goes."

There were two lumps on L's back, stretching the bandages upward. Light could see the tiniest bits of pink skin poking through the cracks as the bandages strained. There was something very satisfying about seeing L panting and in pain, on his hands and knees. Light reached down and touched the nearest lump. L whimpered and leaned against Light's leg.

The pain seemed to have driven L's earlier question out of his mind. Light used the extra time to consider various plans of exactly what L should be told, while he paid Ryuk some apples to carry L to bed, and then fed the whimpering shinigami three more cakes until he fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning, the weekend would be over and the task force would return. Unless L was perfectly behaved, things could go badly.

A/N (Author's Note):

Well, I'm writing shinigami!L as a lot more naive than canon L is, because he is new and innocent. Light is, of course, very much making use of that innocence to further his own plans.
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Not an Angel