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Desired Effects	By : Henryjamesthefith Category: +M to R > Neon Genesis Evangelion Views: 11727 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own NGE and am making no money with this non-profitable story

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Maya sighed. She had directed the two Asukas to Akagi’s examination room, where they now stood glaring at each other over the table in the room.

As far as the complicated part was, this was easy. Now, to explain to Ritsuko.

Oh dear god…

*

*

The good doctor had just left the ladies room, making her way to her office. She then came to a junction leading off to two places. One, the office directly; the other, to a nice, lukewarm, instant coffee. A moment’s pause, and she turned right to the smell of the evil bean, ever so tempting.

About thirty seconds later, a very flustered and anxious Lt Ibuki hurried past the junction, going where the doctor had just come from. She had been searching for over twenty minutes now, and her heart rate was probably in the higher hundreds now.

*

*

“Well?”

The redheads stood, arms crossed and positioned about an arm’s reach from each other. The question was answered by a snort and a “Well what?”

“Well, aren’t you gonna own up any time soon?”

The one on the left’s eyebrow rose. Her mouth split into a grin.

“I think we both know who’s not real, here!”

“Why you-“

The right Asuka-

Oh, for heaven’s sake! Let’s for the sake of everyone’s sanity, (including mine) call Nice!Asuka Sohryu, and Normal!Asuka Asuka. There, now, on with the story…

Asuka leapt over the table to lunge at Sohryu, but missed by a whole foot. Her head almost made good friends with Sohryu’s left knee, but was interrupted by her blocking hand.

“You want a piece of me?! Well, here you go!”

A fist of vengeance missed Asuka’s left temple, and she answered with a nice, powerful jab to the ribs, sending Sohryu gasping to the floor.

“Ahhhgh!” Sohryu’s grunt of rage was the last coherent thing anyone could have made out as they both began to throw kicks and fist at each other.

*

*

“ahhh… coffee… the world’s greatest thing ever…”

Ritsuko relished the sip she had taken, letting it wash around her mouth as she walked to her office. It lead, of course, past the examination room. And for those that are wondering; no, Maya’s still looking for her.

Enjoy that last, peaceful moment, Akagi…

She neared the infirmary. A few feet from the door, she could hear something shattering. Glass, maybe. Curious, she opened the door. Was Asuka in there? Was she angry about something again?

She opened the door….

She ducked, just barely avoiding a bedpan.

“Alright, what’s going on here?”

She could see someone, or better two someones, on the floor. They were trying to strangle each other, for some reason.

Hold on…

Both wore a red plugsuit. Okay, maybe Shinji took to wearing one?

Then, Asuka suddenly screeched, and toppled off the girl on the floor…

“…Asuka?”

Her head began to swim. Two faces turned to her.

“What!?”

Two pairs of blue eyes. Two sets of eyebrows raised in annoyance. Two manes of red hair whipping as the two heads turned to her.

The coffee mug shattered as it hit the floor.

“two… two… one and one…. Two…”

Hurried footsteps, and Maya cringed as she approached the doctor. “ummm…”

No reaction. She just kept saying “two… why are there two? Two… two…”

“ahem!”

The doctor tore her eyes from the now scuffling girls again. They landed, unfocused and twitching, on Maya.

“Two… one excess… not one, but two…”

“Ah, you see, what I mean is…”

Ritsuko’s arms rose, her eyes falling on to her palms, seemingly fascinated by them.

“Well, I was looking for you and I wanted to Urk-“

Two incredibly strong hands grabbed her by the front of her uniform and pulled her towards the now terribly, terribly focused doctor Akagi.

“What. Is. Happening. Here”

The proximity was extremely uncomfortable to the poor tech, and no amount of struggling would loosen the iron grip.

“Eh… well, when we did those assumptions… well, you know what the Magi said about the failure?”

The doctor’s eyes were slits now. “Yes. Neurological overload. Cranial activity neutralized. Maybe even bipolar tendencies. But not Bicorporal!!!”

She turned the hapless lieutenant to the two scratching, biting and kicking girls.

“You see that? That is a scientific impossibility. It means it should not be possible! Where the hell did she come from!?”

She began to shake the woman, venting her frustration.

Another set of hurried footsteps. A red-clad well-developed woman in Major’s uniform came up to the two, grinning like an idiot.

“Hi, Rits! You know, I just heard the weirdest thing-“

“Are you going to rub it in my face, huh? Cause I have no fucking time for your stupid, un-funny remarks right now! “

She dropped the severely shaken Tech to reach for Misato.

“I have to explain to the Commander that we now have TWO Asukas! Two, do you hear?! Now is not the time for stupid remarks! We are all out of stupid remarks for the week!!”

Misato backtracked.

“Whoa, there, hold your horses! What did you say?”

The two girls chose that moment to stumble out the door, landing in a screaming heap on top of Maya.

“Oh… “

Her face changed, from utter shock and disbelief, to another, even more intense grin. Then, it became a snort, finally ending in an all-out bout of laughter.

Ritsuko advance on the woman…

*

*

Lathered in small bandages, and because Ritsuko was pissed off, in a straight jacket each, the two Asuka’s were being examined by the doctor, who had gone to get another coffee first.

Now, saturated with caffeine, the doctor ticked off the last few items on her list.

“Are you gonna let me out now?”

Ritsuko glanced at the equally bound major.

“No”

“You know, I can get out of this if I dislocate my shoulder”

The doctor sat at her desktop, began to type.

“I’d like to see that”

Both Asukas watched as Misato began to struggle in her jacket.

“But that would mean you would have dislocated your shoulder before, which you haven’t”

A few moments later, Misato fell over, including the chair.

Asuka sighed. “You should have seen this coming, Misato”

Sohryu giggled. “I don’t think Kaji would mind, though…”

“…. Girls, stop teasing the woman. She can’t help being so fast-“

“Shut UP Ritsuko!”

“Aw, and I was just going to let you go. Too bad!”

She ignored the swearing woman and focused on the two Germanic beauties before her.

“Well, what are we going to do now?”

The two girls looked at each other, frowned, then demanded “throw her in the brig!”

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. “Now, now, Asuka. Asukas. Asukee… oh, what the heck! I’m going to ask you a question; and you’re sure as hell not going to get out of here if I don’t like the answer!”

The two girls’ eyes widened in anxious anticipation. It was almost enough to pull up Ritsuko’s mouth.

I said almost.

“Ahem. Right. Now, what would you like to do right now?”

The two stared et the woman. Both brows sank to a frown. The two mimicked their facial expressions to a twitch.

It seems they really are alike. I wonder just how deep this similarity goes…

Meanwhile, the thoughts of the two girls followed the same pattern.

She’s tricking me, I’m sure of it. Hmm… I’d really like to punch that harlot in the face… but I guess that’s not gonna work. Maybe get out of this stupid jacket? No, coz she’ll assume I wanna sock that bitch again. Which I really do. Hard. Hmmm… oh, I know!

“I wanna go home!”

Amazing. Two mind paths, mimicking the same thoughts, probably, arriving at the same answer in the same time.

She nodded. Just once.

“Fine. You can both go home now” she turned to the moping woman on the floor.

“Are you ready to go, Misato? I’m still waiting to see your Houdini act…”

“Ritsuko, my dear friend, come closer….”

*

*

After surprising Ritsuko with the jacket-wrapped-around-head-and-neck-trick, Misato was tasked to get two exactly similar girls, as well as one very confused boy home. Without anybody dying.

“Right, who wants shotgun?”

“Me, of course!”

She buried her face in her palm.

The two continued to try to hack verbal pieces out of their opposites. Shinji tried, and failed, to be the voice of reason. In the end, Misato decided that since the two were still wearing their “smelly lcl-drenched Plugsuits”, they were not going to dirty her baby’s front seat leather. As the two began to hurl accusements at each other for ruining the other’s chance at shotgun, Shinji sighed in relief at not having to sit next to, well… the Asukas. Oh, god, this was gonna be a nightmare….

*

*

“Are they done yet?”

Shinji sighed. In the room behind the two TV-watching residents, something went bump.

Then something went clunketyfrack. Sounds of scuffling could be heard.

“I don’t think they’ve decided what to wear…”

*

*

“Look… I don’t know about you, but this situation is seriously fucking zany”

Sohryu kept randomly kicking the pillow into the door. Somehow, it just seemed to work off the needed stress.

“Yeah. But that doesn’t mean I can’t wear my favorite T-shirt!”

Asuka huffed. “So? You lost, fair and square. Anyway, what gives you the right to stop me from wearing my clothes?”

Sohryu raised an eyebrow. “Coz their mine, remember?”

The two locked eyes. An air of hostility seemed to unfold, once again, between the two.

Then Sohryu got up and began to step out of the room.

This would have suited Asuka, had Sohryu been wearing anything more than just a bra and shorts.

“And what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Sohryu whipped around and flashed a grin.

“I’m gonna get me some dinner!”

Asuka tackled her before she could even reach for the door.

*

*

Misato groaned. As in annoyed, you pervs…

“Shinji, can you please start cooking? My stomach can’t take any more of that act without anything in it!”

Shinji, ever the submissive doormat, nodded and made his way to the kitchen. Patting PenPen on the head, he began to prepare the meal. Only difference being, he was doing it for four now.

“Okay, how am I gonna stretch this?”

Meanwhile Misato was beginning to feel ever so slightly annoyed. After the umpteenth scream, she chucked the TV-remote onto the other side of the couch and angrily began to make her way to the door of the resident peeve.

Just as she reached out for the latch, an idea occurred.

*

*

“Get off, bitch!”

“I’ll show you bitch!”

The door slid sideways. Misato flipped the switch, and the room was plunged into darkness, apart from the light streaming in from the hallway, silhouetting the major.

“SHUT TH HELL UP!”

The two girls stopped beating each other up, and focused on the woman holding…something looking like clothes in her outstretched hand.

“In light of the recent occourancies, I am hereby declaring martial law upon the premises of the Katsuragi household! This means you are gonna do what I say, when I say! And to restore the peace I hereby order you to wear..”

She flipped the switch again. Both girls took a moment to realize what she was holding.

“No way!”

Grinning evilly, Misato threw the two training suits down before the girls.

“Yes way! Tomorrow, we go shopping! But till then, you’re wearing these!”

She closed the door victoriously, clapping her hands together.

“Right, dinner; here I come!”

The girls untangled from each other.

Asuka grunted and leapt for the heap. Sohryu followed suit, and soon they realized they were each holding the suits they and Shinji had worn, not so long ago.

Asuka smiled in triumph. “Hah! I got mine! You got the Baka’s smelly suit!”

Sohryu smiled. “Good! Suits me”

Sohryu then began to pull it on.

“Yeah, and-wait! What do you mean by good?”

The half-clad girl smirked. “You know how long I’ve waited for an excuse to do this?”

Asuka couldn’t believe the words her opposite was spouting. “You mean you’ll willfully wear the idiot’s clothes?”

Her head began to turn red with rage.

“What kinda freak are you?”

“Hey, don’t you dare call me a freak!”

“Oh yeah? Well, freak, get this! You-“

The door swung open. A woman grabbed each girl by the ear and pulled them close.

“I will make this perfectly understandable. If you two don’t shut up and stop fighting right now, I will personally drag the both of you to the deepest, darkest cellar I can remember and lock you up till you do. Now, we are going to sit down and have a nice, civilized meal, with Shinji, and then we’re gonna go to bed, all nice and quietlike. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear.”

The two girls were too attached to their earlobes to shake their heads. Vertical movement was far more agreeable.

The two followed her to the table, finally clad in their suits.

Shinji was just finishing, and had the table ready for the four of them.

“Hi, Asuka-oh, are we going to do training again?”

Misato stifled a giggle.

“Not you. But if these two keep beating themselves up, I’m thinking of doing some…training…”

The girls shuddered. Sohryu then sat next to Shinji, earning a raised eyebrow from Misato and a frown from Asuka.

Misato swallowed her mouthful and focused on the girls.

“So…. Asuka. How do you feel?”

“Fine”

“Great!”

The former redhead glared at the one sitting next to the boy, smiling at her as she ate.

Okay… we have a difference here…

Silence once more fell over the four eating people.

Then…

“Shinji… can I sleep with you tonight?”

Sohryu’s words were soft, unhurried and sincere.

The crashing of cutlery, glasses and jaws hitting the ground however were intensely fast and sharp.

*

*

Gendo Ikari folded his hands before his mouth once more. The good doctor stood anxiously anticipating the response to the report given to him just moments ago.

“So… we now have…. Two Second Children?”

“It appears so”

She thought keeping her words short and generally to the point was her easy ticket out of this. Oh, how wrong…

“This was due to your… project?”

“Most likely, sir”

A pause. Then….

“Can it be replicated?”

Her mind froze. Then she realized what he meant.

“Uh… I guess…”

“Then make it so. Dismissed!”

And with that, Ritsuko turned on her heels and began the tedious, head-hurting journey to her office where she sat and began to pull up the Third Child’s Psychological charts.

Unknown to her, a rather ruffled Maya Ibuki began her thoughtful path back home. A plan was beginning to form in her mind. It would involve the head of Project E, a set of teacups, and a large quantity of typing. But it would succeed!

“I will, have you! I will!”

*

*

Meanwhile, somewhere in the vicinity of Bombay, a major secret service analytic approached Lorenz Keel, with caution of course, and a small portfolio containing the transcripts of the recorded vices in NERV-Japan.

Keel glared at the man ( as much as a visor can glare. Think Data in a bad mood), then began to read it.

After a few minutes, he closed the folder.

“And what is the meaning of this?”

The man shuffles in his shoes. “We are not really sure, sir”

Keel nodded. He drummed his hands on the folder. “Then I suggest… we wait for things to clear up. Don’t you think?”

The man bobbed his head. “Ah, yes, sir. Of course we will”

“Report back to me… when any of this makes any sense”

“Yes sir. Thank you sir”

The man left. Keel rubbed his chin.

“This makes no sense… no sense at all…”

A/N; Chapter two done. Now, number three...

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