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As the Smoke Clears #4 in Rivalry Series	By : kurahieiritrJIO Category: +G to L > Initial D Views: 2672 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Initial D, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-As the Smoke Clears
- 2-Smoke 2
- 3-Smoke 3
- 4-Smoke 4
- 5-Smoke 5
- 6-Smoke 6
- 7-Smoke 7
- 8-Smoke 8
- 9-Smoke 9
- 10-Smoke 10
- 11-Smoke 11
- 12-Smoke 12
- 13-Smoke 13
- 14-Smoke 14
- 15-Some 15
- 16-Smoke 16
- 17-Chapter 17
- 18-Smoke 18
- 19-Smoke 19
- 20-Smoke 20
- 21-Smoke 21
- 22-Smoke 22
- 23-Smoke 23
- 24-Smoke 24
- 25-Smoke 25
- 26-Smoke 26
- 27-Smoke 27
- 28-Smoke 28
- 29-Smoke 29
- 30-Smoke 30
- 31-Smoke 31
- 32-Smoke 32
- 33-Smoke 33
- 34-Smoke 34
- 35-Smoke 35
- 36-Smoke 36
- 37-Smoke 37
- 38-Smoke 38
- 39-Smoke 39
- 40-Smoke 40
- 1
- 2
- 3
CHAPTER 2

(WARNING: Rape Flashbacks = LEMON TWIST)

Sitting up in his hospital bed, Takumi huffed in vexation. He tossed his covers back and padded into the tiny bathroom. He prayed his erection would subside quickly. Takumi knew that the drug induced unnaturally prolonged, and thick hard-ons could cause dangerous results. So far he had escaped the crippling side effects. Each leech experienced increased the risk of permanent injury. Hearing about others Kahori drugged not being as fortunate gave Takumi grounds for alarm every time he got remotely hard. His dick was messed up enough without having doctors doing emergency surgery to keep him alive.

His current surgical incisions had lost the virulent red of raw newness he noted as he adjusted his pajamas to pee. At least he had been unconscious for part of the healing process Takumi thought idly. That was the good thing about the state of nothingness he was trapped in for the first three weeks.

Yet, once the coma lifted, Itsuke stopped visiting him. Keisuke continued to badger Itsuke to come to their quarters. Yet from his lover's reports, Itsuke remained intent on avoiding him. He was not speaking very much to anyone else either. That worried Takumi greatly. His blank riddled memory of the slave compound did nothing to answer his gnawing questions about Itsuke's odd behavior.

Takumi ground his teeth when he grabbed his dick. His body ignited. Boiling blood blasted every pore into hyper awareness. Realizing that the deadly aphrodisiac was leeching out of his bones and causing extreme arousal filled Takumi with marked dread. He had to call the medical staff to get another shot to settle his body down. Getting monitored would automatically fall upon Keisuke at his stubborn lover's insistence. Unfortunately, Takumi wanted nobody around when dealing with an extreme arousal. Their relationship was strained enough without his fits of temporary insanity adding to their problems.

'Son of a bitch! I know jerking off won't fucking end this. Busting my nuts only makes me hornier for a while. If these leeches keep happening, I'll be in serious trouble. How much more of this hell do I have to deal with before the damned drug's gone for good? I don't want to wake Keisuke up. I can't trust myself until this passes. I'm so screwed!'

A shudder of revulsion and escalating heat flowed up Takumi's spine, almost buckling his braced legs. His free hand tightened around the sink's rim to prevent himself from falling. Stripping off his pajama bottoms to ease his skin's fast increasing shrieks of awareness seemed a very good idea. His body was sensitizing to the point he was tempted to yank off his top to prevent accidental friction against his steadily engorging manhood.

Takumi's mind writhed and rebelled as odd pulses of mild fear from touching himself sprang up as pain increased. Giving up on the idea of trying to piss to get his erection to deflate, Takumi let go of his dick. He turned toward the small doorway wondering if he could get to the call button before his sensitivity buckled his legs. Calling out to wake Keisuke was the safer option, yet Takumi resented the idea.

Memories of his incarceration were too hazy to explain his startling revulsion to his own dick that he noticed with every necessary touch of himself. Perhaps it was a side effect of the drug's slow seepage back into his blood stream causing fits of paranoia. Maybe it was caused by his nerve endings' screams whenever the drug activated every nerve into the realms of excruciating pain. Considering he was already getting sore, it might be a natural desire to avoid increasing pain from these artificial arousals.

Takumi jumped at the sound of the bathroom accordion door sliding further back into the wall. Oddly enough, his modesty had evaporated during captivity. Anyone seeing him with a raging boner rearing out of his pajama bottoms could no longer shame him. If anything, the idea of being seen sent a jolt of pleasure into his groin. Temptation to encourage Keisuke to screw him senseless was so strong it had Takumi foundering.

"Damn, get a grip, baka!" He growled under his breath.

"Takumi, are you okay?" Keisuke's richly sensual voice flowed around him as the sleepy blond filled the door frame. A quick glance over his form had the blond's expressive brows lifting with an unspoken question.

"Damned drug's coming out again. I already hurt like hell, and it just started. I thought I just needed to piss, but found out I was wrong." Takumi snapped.

"I'll call the isha san on duty."

His lover vanished into the other room. Because Keisuke was paying for his medical care, Takumi knew his unofficial spouse knew more about his captivity than he did. Having doctors constantly updating Keisuke on everything they did to save him gave his partner an unfair advantage. Keisuke refused to tell him everything he knew. It angered Takumi that Keisuke evaded his questions.

"Shit!" Takumi turned his head toward the cramped shower stall, puffing out a harsh breath. His free hand lifted to cover the side of his sweating face, and rake away the moisture sliding toward his eyes. Fury arced from his crown, down into his toes as his body quivered with fast rising desperation for sex.

'Keisuke'll monitor me until the medication knocks me out. Wish minasan would leave me alone when I'm like this. I can't be trusted not to do something insane in a few more minutes.'

"Great, that's all I need. My lover watching me while I'm going out of my mind in heat. Not good." He muttered darkly.

Body heat radiating off Keisuke slashed across Takumi's braced arm and bare sex in brutal waves moments later. The unique, spicy cloves tinged musk of the man tickled Takumi's hyper sensitive nose. His emotions heaved with knots of lust, and rising panic. Memories of making love with the wiry muscled blond leaning against the doorway's frame swarmed through his mind, increasing Takumi's ache. Physical shudders threw him off balance as haunting sensations and recollections overloaded his body with mental stimulation. Keisuke's bandaged arm snaked around his waist to steady him.

"Take it easy, my own. The tenser you get, the worse things will be when the isha-san gets here. I won't let you do anything insane. Stop worrying."

Soothing as Keisuke's soft voice was, Takumi found his muscles locking. Feeling so much physical contact threw his body into near convulsions. Physical agony, and the promise of ecstacy any kind of physical contact contained whipped through Takumi's form to needle his conscience.

'Make him get me off. My fingers can't possibly hit my sweet spot hard enough to work. But, if he fucks me, I'll get off hard enough to relax. Seeing me like this must be giving him a hard-on. That can be used to my advantage. I bet he'll fuck me if I ask. I know every button Keisuke has. All I have to do is push a few.'

As soon as the thoughts slithered to the fore in that odd mental voice he had begun to notice, self loathing slashed Takumi's heart. The thoughts crowded his mind, each coming from some stranger now entrenched inside his being. The eroding sense that he no longer deserved Keisuke reared its venomous head in hard retaliation.

'I don't believe I'm thinking this shit. Keisuke fought Kahori's psychopaths and got busted ribs, and knife wounds saving my ass! He isn't a fuck toy. Damn that bitch for forcing drugs down my throat and making me think like a bastard! I'm stronger than these screwy urges to hump anything that moves. I will stay in control. The isha san will give me the medication to counter this damned drug before it gets too bad. Gotta focus on keeping my hands to myself until it passes.'

His voice was pain roughened as Takumi snapped, "Easier said than done when I hurt like hell, Keisuke. I don't know which I want more. . . . jump you to get off hard enough to relax, punch you for grabbing me when my skin's so raw, or puke my guts up!"

Keisuke released his waist and stepped back into the doorway looking equal parts concerned, and upset. "Gomen if I hurt you, my own. I didn't know the drug releases were so bad. The last one you had didn't seem that painful."

Takumi glared at his life mate. Keisuke's worried expression had him feeling like a heel. "iie, venting at you because I'm desperate for relief is wrong. This one's already much worse. I hate being so fucking messed up!"

A knock interrupted them. Keisuke slipped back from the doorway so the medical personnel could get to him quicker. "It's the drug leeching again. Takumi's in considerable pain." Takumi heard Keisuke telling the doctor as his hand clenched harder around the small sink's porcelain rim. He had to fight himself into shifting his erection away from the doctor's eyes.

"I thought as much when you hit the call button. Fujiwara san's following the same pattern as the others. This drug seems to cause more damage leaving the body than when it gets introduced." The doctor replied as he stepped into the small space next to Takumi. "I brought some medication. How bad is the pain?"

"Bad enough I want to crawl out of my skin." The amber haired man ground through tightly clenched teeth.

"How long since this leeching woke you?"

Without turning to look at the doctor speaking to him, Takumi answered, "Not sure, but Keisuke got up soon after I came in here thinking I needed to piss. Before I could use the toilet, my body started screaming. The other leeches weren't this fast."

"How long was it before you checked on him, Keisuke sama?"

"Hearing Takumi get out of bed woke me, so maybe five minutes. I called you immediately once I saw he was in trouble." Keisuke answered.

"Let's give you the shot in your hip." The doctor answered. With a single nod, Takumi shoved his pajama bottoms down to pool at his ankles. A moment later he felt the needle's sting. "This will take about fifteen minutes to bring real relief, Fujiwara san. If you're still having inordinate difficulty after twenty minutes, hit the call button again. I'll come immediately with a more aggressive medication to prevent the veins rupturing in your groin."

Nodding again, Takumi tightened his hold on the sink's rim to keep from grabbing the physician. His hearing picked up the hasty retreat of the physician's squeaking shoes. The click of the door closing was his cue to kick his bottoms away completely. "Gomen that I woke you up. I don't want to be a bother."

"You're never a bother, my own. Nani will help you to get through this faster?"

"Fucking me senseless would be a great start." Takumi jerked his top open and away from his erection. Relief of sorts began to spread through the pit of his midriff. Keeping the fabric from rubbing his member and nipples helped as he leaned against the wall.

Keisuke's breath fanned his cheek. "You need to fully recover from intestinal surgery, a serious infection, partial lung paralysis, and mild heart congestion because of everything that happened to you. You nearly died several times while you were in that coma, my own. Making love with you is out of the question. Another thing, I have cause to worry that memories you can't handle will surface if I did anything. Takeuchi's adamant that the less you remember, . . . the better off you'll be. Considering how injured you are, I think he's right."

Takumi shivered as his stomach plunged toward his toes. Guilt swamped him over hearing Itsuke's name. "Nani else has Itsuke said when you've gone to the common room?"

"Nothing that answers your questions, my own. Takeuchi's so fucking traumatized that he's withdrawn from minasan. Hikaru's about the only one Takeuchi isn't shutting out. Your onīchan must feel like hell. He couldn't do anything whenever he saw you acting like this . . . and those sick bastards raping you, . . . and you not understanding anything that happened because of the drug . . . Kami-sama, he's so messed up! The medical procedures you've needed are very concrete evidence of the shit Takeuchi-kun saw. Then there's the things you've said in your sleep. It can't be coincidence that you keep feeling someone molesting you whenever you doze off."

Takumi closed his eyes as his stomach roiled and clenched. "I really hate those damned dreams. If those ghost feelings are about things that physically happened to me even without any clear images, then . . ."

"Your body's telling you the truth because your memory's full of holes. There's nothing remotely consensual, or arousing about those sensations either." Keisuke's rich voice slipped over his skin, raising goose bumps.

"Getting hard-ons is terrifying because I get so pissed off and paranoid about it! This weird feeling like I hurt Itsuke while we were in there is bugging the shit out of me. . . .But I don't know how. . . . I was always hurting, . . . and horny as hell, . . . when I was awake, but things are so blurry. It's like I'm still trapped in that fucking cell and can't get out. Part of me feels like I've done something unforgivable, and I don't know nani it was. Most of me wants insanely wild sex, and I almost don't care how I get it. It's sick, twisted and wrong, but I still want to jump you."

"I'm afraid that anything more than giving you a blow job will re-injure you." Keisuke's earnest tone cut Takumi's emotions to the quick.

Greedy desire to accept that small token just so he could push Keisuke until he got fucked senseless almost overwhelmed him. "Both of the major leeches I had before moving in with you taught me that jerking off only makes me ten times hornier, harder and hotter with every ejaculation. I need something a lot more intense when I'm like this."

Seeing Keisuke's drop mouthed shock would have been funny if Takumi was not so busy fighting to control himself. "Holy shit, Takumi! If getting off makes things worse, how in the hell? . . . Can you even get relief?"

Closing his eyes, Takumi gritted his teeth. "From everything that Akabashi-isha san has explained, this drug is sensitive to body chemistry. I think getting off hard enough would settle my body down because it rips the teeth out of the drug. Knowing damned well that when you dominate, you blow my mind so I can't even move for a while isn't helping my sanity. Jumping you is very much on my mind!"

"Much as I've missed making love with you, it's not going to happen. Your body's still healing from sadistic abuse, . . . hurting you isn't an option, my own."

Keisuke's ragged tone had Takumi's insides trembling in searing waves of heat. Memories of incomparable ecstacy filled his mind. Moving closer, Takumi slid his hands up onto his mate's shoulders. Painful as contact was on his skin, he needed to touch the man he adored with all of his heart and soul. He slid against the blond's furnace hot body and rested his head on Keisuke's shoulder. Feeling Keisuke stiffen, refusing to wrap his arms around him, cut Takumi to the quick. He could feel Keisuke's body responding, yet he could not seem to close the distance between them that was growing because of his captivity.

"Kami-sama, all I want is to be like we were before. You loved me and I knew it. I woke up beside you and everything was right. Now, . . . I feel like my world's never going to be right again. I'm terrified that I'm losing you, Lover."

"Takumi, listen to me. I love you just as much now as I did before you were kidnaped and raped. But you need to heal, and we both know that I have way too little self control when it comes to you. The drug's driving you crazy so I've got to keep myself from losing it, . . . and hurting you!"

Frustration and a growing certainty that everything was beyond salvage tore at Takumi's thoughts. He wrenched away from Keisuke. Hands balling so tight he could feel his nails cutting into his skin, Takumi backed as far away as he could. Seven steps had his back smacking into the shower's tiled wall.

"I'm not denying that the drug has me randier than hell, Keisuke! Kami-sama, I feel like I've completely lost you even though you're in the same room with me. Can you understand that it hurts like hell being around you, and feeling like I'm losing you?"

Running his hands through his shaggy mane, Keisuke snapped back. "As unbelievably damned gorgeous as your body is, it's due to a chemical instead of me! Trust me, if I were causing your horniness, I'd be overjoyed to take very good care of you in every way I can dream up. Problem is, you aren't honestly interested in being with me, or anyone else. It's the damned drug talking!"

"So I'm imagining that you stiffened like a board when I hugged you?"

"Ever since you woke up, you've flinched away whenever I've touched you, my own. Don't get me wrong, you have every right to freak out after all the shit done to you. They had to sew your guts back together and flush your stomach cavity to keep infection from killing you because of the brutal rape that tore your ass apart. After everything the isha sans did, you still damned near died five times in nine days, Takumi! There's not a chance in hell I can survive that kind of agony again. Nobody could give me any hope that you'd survive until dawn the first two weeks you were in intensive care! I won't risk your life again!"

Truly riled, Keisuke stalked closer to him, effectively pinning Takumi with his back against the wall. Seeing Keisuke quivering with fury as he ground out every word made it harder to breathe as Takumi stared at sensual, firm lips so close to his own.

"The damned drug in your system royally pisses me off! You're only offering yourself because you're desperate for relief. This has nothing to do with your emotions. You demanded that I fuck you senseless. There will never be a time when that will happen! Fucking is a cold blooded, damned selfish action that's done to anyone willing to spread their legs. Making love with you is all I ever have, . . . or ever will do with you, Takumi."

Everything Keisuke was snapping about was true to an extent. However, his frustrated mate was mistaking the re-assembling puzzle drifting on his intuition. Takumi was not feeling empty lust. A desperate need to reconnect to the man he loved was responsible for his continually intensifying arousal and he sensed the shift internally. Fury was submerging under a longing for a cleansing from the taint of others by his real lover's touch. Anything from Keisuke would heal his spirit because he was the one Takumi had given his heart, soul, and body to without reservations.

His furious blond mate's hands braced the tile on either side of his head. They were nose to nose. Narrowed eyes snapped electric blue fire as Keisuke vented genuine pain. "Don't take that to mean that I don't want to make love with you anymore, because that isn't the way I feel. After you're healthy, and past this nightmare, I want to make love with you nonstop, and in every way possible."

Comprehension dawned. Keisuke was hurting also. Fear and anger was becoming a brutal barrier between them. Nothing they had done was working to ease the chasm that continued to grow as Takumi wrestled with his own sense of guilt.

"Gomen that I said things so poorly. Something happened that I can't remember, and I feel so filthy and guilty that I flinch. Part of me wonders if I can ever make up for whatever happened. I feel like I don't deserve you, Lover."

His voice much gentler, Keisuke answered. "Everything you survived is my fault, my own. The more I find out about how badly you were abused, the more I hate myself. You believed I'd come for you, and I failed you day after day." His eyes closed, hiding the brilliant blue shimmer of gathering tears. "I love you so much, but I couldn't find you in time to stop them from hurting you."

"You did find me in time, Lover. I knew you would, and you did. That's all that matters." Takumi butted their foreheads together and grabbed the back of Keisuke's head. Giving his mate a tender kiss, Takumi wished he knew the right words to fix everything that had gone so horribly wrong.

Before he fully grasped how far he had pushed Keisuke, he felt his lover's arms wrapping like a vice around his waist and pulling him flush against his larger body. Keisuke's tongue was skimming across his teeth demanding entrance. With a sigh Takumi welcomed Keisuke's ardor fully as he sucked in his tongue. Twining and twirling in a long missed dance of passion and love, Takumi felt light headed as he surrendered to their connection.

Furnace hot, Keisuke's body welded to his as their mouths clung together. Takumi clutched at Keisuke's shoulders as his knees went weak. The tightly leashed power of the blond's emotions flooded his mind and body. Hard and pulsing, Keisuke's covered sex slid against his pelvis. Feeling Keisuke's hand slipping down and across his ass, Takumi shuddered. His right leg shifted up onto Keisuke's thigh. That beguiling hand cupping his butt cheek skimmed along his outer thigh and lifted his body higher so that Takumi found his remaining toes barely touching the tiles as their tongues battled in a perfectly synchronized dance of feelings. Pulling back and sucking in a shaky breath, Keisuke growled. "Damn, I'm going to lose control in a minute. I miss you too much."

Takumi felt hypnotized by the feral quality in his voice, and the heat radiating from passion glazed cerulean eyes. "Domo for still loving me despite everything I've put you through, Lover."

The throaty, masculine groan that rumbled up from Keisuke's throat slipped through his body in a wave of vibrations Takumi felt to his core. "I'll always love you, Takumi. I can't possibly live without you, my own dear heart. Showing you all the ways I still love you has to wait a little longer. Unwrap your sexy legs from around my waist. There's not a chance your gorgeous ass can handle me, especially without lube."

Startled by Keisuke's hoarse command, Takumi realized both of his legs were indeed wrapped around his lover's waist and locked. When had he shifted his weight against the shower tiles and wrapped both of his legs around his partner's waist to grind his rigid erection against Keisuke's arousal? A quiet whimper escaped his throat as his nervous system screamed for appeasement. His body yearned for Keisuke's touch to cleanse him of the taint others had left with every fiber of Takumi's being. Heat coiled in the pit of his stomach as Keisuke gave him a sensual look.

"I know you need me, baby. I'm going to get you off. Not the way you're so delightfully begging me for though. As soon as your sinfully sexy body's well, I'm going to take you up on your offer and then some. Unwrap your legs from around my waist so I can get you off, my own. Trust me, I won't leave you hanging."

Letting his legs slide back to the tiles, Takumi felt another soft whine slide from his throat. Tugging his arms from around his neck, Keisuke slid down his body. Settling onto his knees, Keisuke's tongue slid down the length of his screaming erection. With hands and mouth Keisuke began guiding him toward ecstacy.

Sliding one leg onto Keisuke's shoulder as he locked his other knee to remain standing, Takumi sought to guide Keisuke's fingers where he needed them most. Shuddering in his lover's grasp as Keisuke went to work on the back of his sac to put pressure on his prostate from the outside, Takumi's eyes locked with Keisuke's. The feel of his mate's hot mouth surrounding his sensitive head and moving over his length shot wild neediness up Takumi's spine. Jolts of pleasure flowed inside his body as Keisuke's finger slid into his canal. With slow precision Keisuke began working his weakest point. The blond's mouth slid along his length as he drove him toward the climax so desperately needed. His scrotum tightened even more as tremors radiated from Keisuke's finger and spilled into his groin. Shuddering, Takumi lost control and slipped over the precipice into release. CHAPTER 2

(WARNING- LEMON TWIST)

Sitting up in his hospital bed, Takumi huffed in vexation. He tossed his covers back and padded into the tiny bathroom. He prayed his erection would subside quickly. Takumi knew that the drug induced unnaturally prolonged, and thick hard-ons could cause dangerous results. So far he had escaped the crippling side effects. Each leech experienced increased the risk of permanent injury. Hearing about others Kahori drugged not being as fortunate gave Takumi grounds for alarm every time he got remotely hard. His dick was messed up enough without having doctors doing emergency surgery to keep him alive.

His current surgical incisions had lost the virulent red of raw newness he noted as he adjusted his pajamas to pee. At least he had been unconscious for part of the healing process Takumi thought idly. That was the good thing about the state of nothingness he was trapped in for the first three weeks.

Yet, once the coma lifted, Itsuke stopped visiting him. Keisuke continued to badger Itsuke to come to their quarters. Yet from his lover's reports, Itsuke remained intent on avoiding him. He was not speaking very much to anyone else either. That worried Takumi greatly. His blank riddled memory of the slave compound did nothing to answer his gnawing questions about Itsuke's odd behavior.

Takumi ground his teeth when he grabbed his dick. His body ignited. Boiling blood blasted every pore into hyper awareness. Realizing that the deadly aphrodisiac was leeching out of his bones and causing extreme arousal filled Takumi with marked dread. He had to call the medical staff to get another shot to settle his body down. Getting monitored would automatically fall upon Keisuke at his stubborn lover's insistence. Unfortunately, Takumi wanted nobody around when dealing with an extreme arousal. Their relationship was strained enough without his fits of temporary insanity adding to their problems.

'Son of a bitch! I know jerking off won't fucking end this. Busting my nuts only makes me hornier for a while. If these leeches keep happening, I'll be in serious trouble. How much more of this hell do I have to deal with before the damned drug's gone for good? I don't want to wake Keisuke up. I can't trust myself until this passes. I'm so screwed!'

A shudder of revulsion and escalating heat flowed up Takumi's spine, almost buckling his braced legs. His free hand tightened around the sink's rim to prevent himself from falling. Stripping off his pajama bottoms to ease his skin's fast increasing shrieks of awareness seemed a very good idea. His body was sensitizing to the point he was tempted to yank off his top to prevent accidental friction against his steadily engorging manhood.

Takumi's mind writhed and rebelled as odd pulses of mild fear from touching himself sprang up as pain increased. Giving up on the idea of trying to piss to get his erection to deflate, Takumi let go of his dick. He turned toward the small doorway wondering if he could get to the call button before his sensitivity buckled his legs. Calling out to wake Keisuke was the safer option, yet Takumi resented the idea.

Memories of his incarceration were too hazy to explain his startling revulsion to his own dick that he noticed with every necessary touch of himself. Perhaps it was a side effect of the drug's slow seepage back into his blood stream causing fits of paranoia. Maybe it was caused by his nerve endings' screams whenever the drug activated every nerve into the realms of excruciating pain. Considering he was already getting sore, it might be a natural desire to avoid increasing pain from these artificial arousals.

Takumi jumped at the sound of the bathroom accordion door sliding further back into the wall. Oddly enough, his modesty had evaporated during captivity. Anyone seeing him with a raging boner rearing out of his pajama bottoms could no longer shame him. If anything, the idea of being seen sent a jolt of pleasure into his groin. Temptation to encourage Keisuke to screw him senseless was so strong it had Takumi foundering.

"Damn, get a grip, baka!" He growled under his breath.

"Takumi, are you okay?" Keisuke's richly sensual voice flowed around him as the sleepy blond filled the door frame. A quick glance over his form had the blond's expressive brows lifting with an unspoken question.

"Damned drug's coming out again. I already hurt like hell, and it just started. I thought I just needed to piss, but found out I was wrong." Takumi snapped.

"I'll call the isha san on duty."

His lover vanished into the other room. Because Keisuke was paying for his medical care, Takumi knew his unofficial spouse knew more about his captivity than he did. Having doctors constantly updating Keisuke on everything they did to save him gave his partner an unfair advantage. Keisuke refused to tell him everything he knew. It angered Takumi that Keisuke evaded his questions.

"Shit!" Takumi turned his head toward the cramped shower stall, puffing out a harsh breath. His free hand lifted to cover the side of his sweating face, and rake away the moisture sliding toward his eyes. Fury arced from his crown, down into his toes as his body quivered with fast rising desperation for sex.

'Keisuke'll monitor me until the medication knocks me out. Wish minasan would leave me alone when I'm like this. I can't be trusted not to do something insane in a few more minutes.'

"Great, that's all I need. My lover watching me while I'm going out of my mind in heat. Not good." He muttered darkly.

Body heat radiating off Keisuke slashed across Takumi's braced arm and bare sex in brutal waves moments later. The unique, spicy cloves tinged musk of the man tickled Takumi's hyper sensitive nose. His emotions heaved with knots of lust, and rising panic. Memories of making love with the wiry muscled blond leaning against the doorway's frame swarmed through his mind, increasing Takumi's ache. Physical shudders threw him off balance as haunting sensations and recollections overloaded his body with mental stimulation. Keisuke's bandaged arm snaked around his waist to steady him.

"Take it easy, my own. The tenser you get, the worse things will be when the isha-san gets here. I won't let you do anything insane. Stop worrying."

Soothing as Keisuke's soft voice was, Takumi found his muscles locking. Feeling so much physical contact threw his body into near convulsions. Physical agony, and the promise of ecstacy any kind of physical contact contained whipped through Takumi's form to needle his conscience.

'Make him get me off. My fingers can't possibly hit my sweet spot hard enough to work. But, if he fucks me, I'll get off hard enough to relax. Seeing me like this must be giving him a hard-on. That can be used to my advantage. I bet he'll fuck me if I ask. I know every button Keisuke has. All I have to do is push a few.'

As soon as the thoughts slithered to the fore in that odd mental voice he had begun to notice, self loathing slashed Takumi's heart. The thoughts crowded his mind, each coming from some stranger now entrenched inside his being. The eroding sense that he no longer deserved Keisuke reared its venomous head in hard retaliation.

'I don't believe I'm thinking this shit. Keisuke fought Kahori's psychopaths and got busted ribs, and knife wounds saving my ass! He isn't a fuck toy. Damn that bitch for forcing drugs down my throat and making me think like a bastard! I'm stronger than these screwy urges to hump anything that moves. I will stay in control. The isha san will give me the medication to counter this damned drug before it gets too bad. Gotta focus on keeping my hands to myself until it passes.'

His voice was pain roughened as Takumi snapped, "Easier said than done when I hurt like hell, Keisuke. I don't know which I want more. . . . jump you to get off hard enough to relax, punch you for grabbing me when my skin's so raw, or puke my guts up!"

Keisuke released his waist and stepped back into the doorway looking equal parts concerned, and upset. "Gomen if I hurt you, my own. I didn't know the drug releases were so bad. The last one you had didn't seem that painful."

Takumi glared at his life mate. Keisuke's worried expression had him feeling like a heel. "iie, venting at you because I'm desperate for relief is wrong. This one's already much worse. I hate being so fucking messed up!"

A knock interrupted them. Keisuke slipped back from the doorway so the medical personnel could get to him quicker. "It's the drug leeching again. Takumi's in considerable pain." Takumi heard Keisuke telling the doctor as his hand clenched harder around the small sink's porcelain rim. He had to fight himself into shifting his erection away from the doctor's eyes.

"I thought as much when you hit the call button. Fujiwara san's following the same pattern as the others. This drug seems to cause more damage leaving the body than when it gets introduced." The doctor replied as he stepped into the small space next to Takumi. "I brought some medication. How bad is the pain?"

"Bad enough I want to crawl out of my skin." The amber haired man ground through tightly clenched teeth.

"How long since this leeching woke you?"

Without turning to look at the doctor speaking to him, Takumi answered, "Not sure, but Keisuke got up soon after I came in here thinking I needed to piss. Before I could use the toilet, my body started screaming. The other leeches weren't this fast."

"How long was it before you checked on him, Keisuke sama?"

"Hearing Takumi get out of bed woke me, so maybe five minutes. I called you immediately once I saw he was in trouble." Keisuke answered.

"Let's give you the shot in your hip." The doctor answered. With a single nod, Takumi shoved his pajama bottoms down to pool at his ankles. A moment later he felt the needle's sting. "This will take about fifteen minutes to bring real relief, Fujiwara san. If you're still having inordinate difficulty after twenty minutes, hit the call button again. I'll come immediately with a more aggressive medication to prevent the veins rupturing in your groin."

Nodding again, Takumi tightened his hold on the sink's rim to keep from grabbing the physician. His hearing picked up the hasty retreat of the physician's squeaking shoes. The click of the door closing was his cue to kick his bottoms away completely. "Gomen that I woke you up. I don't want to be a bother."

"You're never a bother, my own. Nani will help you to get through this faster?"

"Fucking me senseless would be a great start." Takumi jerked his top open and away from his erection. Relief of sorts began to spread through the pit of his midriff. Keeping the fabric from rubbing his member and nipples helped as he leaned against the wall.

Keisuke's breath fanned his cheek. "You need to fully recover from intestinal surgery, a serious infection, partial lung paralysis, and mild heart congestion because of everything that happened to you. You nearly died several times while you were in that coma, my own. Making love with you is out of the question. Another thing, I have cause to worry that memories you can't handle will surface if I did anything. Takeuchi's adamant that the less you remember, . . . the better off you'll be. Considering how injured you are, I think he's right."

Takumi shivered as his stomach plunged toward his toes. Guilt swamped him over hearing Itsuke's name. "Nani else has Itsuke said when you've gone to the common room?"

"Nothing that answers your questions, my own. Takeuchi's so fucking traumatized that he's withdrawn from minasan. Hikaru's about the only one Takeuchi isn't shutting out. Your onīchan must feel like hell. He couldn't do anything whenever he saw you acting like this . . . and those sick bastards raping you, . . . and you not understanding anything that happened because of the drug . . . Kami-sama, he's so messed up! The medical procedures you've needed are very concrete evidence of the shit Takeuchi-kun saw. Then there's the things you've said in your sleep. It can't be coincidence that you keep feeling someone molesting you whenever you doze off."

Takumi closed his eyes as his stomach roiled and clenched. "I really hate those damned dreams. If those ghost feelings are about things that physically happened to me even without any clear images, then . . ."

"Your body's telling you the truth because your memory's full of holes. There's nothing remotely consensual, or arousing about those sensations either." Keisuke's rich voice slipped over his skin, raising goose bumps.

"Getting hard-ons is terrifying because I get so pissed off and paranoid about it! This weird feeling like I hurt Itsuke while we were in there is bugging the shit out of me. . . .But I don't know how. . . . I was always hurting, . . . and horny as hell, . . . when I was awake, but things are so blurry. It's like I'm still trapped in that fucking cell and can't get out. Part of me feels like I've done something unforgivable, and I don't know nani it was. Most of me wants insanely wild sex, and I almost don't care how I get it. It's sick, twisted and wrong, but I still want to jump you."

"I'm afraid that anything more than giving you a blow job will re-injure you." Keisuke's earnest tone cut Takumi's emotions to the quick.

Greedy desire to accept that small token just so he could push Keisuke until he got fucked senseless almost overwhelmed him. "Both of the major leeches I had before moving in with you taught me that jerking off only makes me ten times hornier, harder and hotter with every ejaculation. I need something a lot more intense when I'm like this."

Seeing Keisuke's drop mouthed shock would have been funny if Takumi was not so busy fighting to control himself. "Holy shit, Takumi! If getting off makes things worse, how in the hell? . . . Can you even get relief?"

Closing his eyes, Takumi gritted his teeth. "From everything that Akabashi-isha san has explained, this drug is sensitive to body chemistry. I think getting off hard enough would settle my body down because it rips the teeth out of the drug. Knowing damned well that when you dominate, you blow my mind so I can't even move for a while isn't helping my sanity. Jumping you is very much on my mind!"

"Much as I've missed making love with you, it's not going to happen. Your body's still healing from sadistic abuse, . . . hurting you isn't an option, my own."

Keisuke's ragged tone had Takumi's insides trembling in searing waves of heat. Memories of incomparable ecstacy filled his mind. Moving closer, Takumi slid his hands up onto his mate's shoulders. Painful as contact was on his skin, he needed to touch the man he adored with all of his heart and soul. He slid against the blond's furnace hot body and rested his head on Keisuke's shoulder. Feeling Keisuke stiffen, refusing to wrap his arms around him, cut Takumi to the quick. He could feel Keisuke's body responding, yet he could not seem to close the distance between them that was growing because of his captivity.

"Kami-sama, all I want is to be like we were before. You loved me and I knew it. I woke up beside you and everything was right. Now, . . . I feel like my world's never going to be right again. I'm terrified that I'm losing you, Lover."

"Takumi, listen to me. I love you just as much now as I did before you were kidnaped and raped. But you need to heal, and we both know that I have way too little self control when it comes to you. The drug's driving you crazy so I've got to keep myself from losing it, . . . and hurting you!"

Frustration and a growing certainty that everything was beyond salvage tore at Takumi's thoughts. He wrenched away from Keisuke. Hands balling so tight he could feel his nails cutting into his skin, Takumi backed as far away as he could. Seven steps had his back smacking into the shower's tiled wall.

"I'm not denying that the drug has me randier than hell, Keisuke! Kami-sama, I feel like I've completely lost you even though you're in the same room with me. Can you understand that it hurts like hell being around you, and feeling like I'm losing you?"

Running his hands through his shaggy mane, Keisuke snapped back. "As unbelievably damned gorgeous as your body is, it's due to a chemical instead of me! Trust me, if I were causing your horniness, I'd be overjoyed to take very good care of you in every way I can dream up. Problem is, you aren't honestly interested in being with me, or anyone else. It's the damned drug talking!"

"So I'm imagining that you stiffened like a board when I hugged you?"

"Ever since you woke up, you've flinched away whenever I've touched you, my own. Don't get me wrong, you have every right to freak out after all the shit done to you. They had to sew your guts back together and flush your stomach cavity to keep infection from killing you because of the brutal rape that tore your ass apart. After everything the isha sans did, you still damned near died five times in nine days, Takumi! There's not a chance in hell I can survive that kind of agony again. Nobody could give me any hope that you'd survive until dawn the first two weeks you were in intensive care! I won't risk your life again!"

Truly riled, Keisuke stalked closer to him, effectively pinning Takumi with his back against the wall. Seeing Keisuke quivering with fury as he ground out every word made it harder to breathe as Takumi stared at sensual, firm lips so close to his own.

"The damned drug in your system royally pisses me off! You're only offering yourself because you're desperate for relief. This has nothing to do with your emotions. You demanded that I fuck you senseless. There will never be a time when that will happen! Fucking is a cold blooded, damned selfish action that's done to anyone willing to spread their legs. Making love with you is all I ever have, . . . or ever will do with you, Takumi."

Everything Keisuke was snapping about was true to an extent. However, his frustrated mate was mistaking the re-assembling puzzle drifting on his intuition. Takumi was not feeling empty lust. A desperate need to reconnect to the man he loved was responsible for his continually intensifying arousal and he sensed the shift internally. Fury was submerging under a longing for a cleansing from the taint of others by his real lover's touch. Anything from Keisuke would heal his spirit because he was the one Takumi had given his heart, soul, and body to without reservations.

His furious blond mate's hands braced the tile on either side of his head. They were nose to nose. Narrowed eyes snapped electric blue fire as Keisuke vented genuine pain. "Don't take that to mean that I don't want to make love with you anymore, because that isn't the way I feel. After you're healthy, and past this nightmare, I want to make love with you nonstop, and in every way possible."

Comprehension dawned. Keisuke was hurting also. Fear and anger was becoming a brutal barrier between them. Nothing they had done was working to ease the chasm that continued to grow as Takumi wrestled with his own sense of guilt.

"Gomen that I said things so poorly. Something happened that I can't remember, and I feel so filthy and guilty that I flinch. Part of me wonders if I can ever make up for whatever happened. I feel like I don't deserve you, Lover."

His voice much gentler, Keisuke answered. "Everything you survived is my fault, my own. The more I find out about how badly you were abused, the more I hate myself. You believed I'd come for you, and I failed you day after day." His eyes closed, hiding the brilliant blue shimmer of gathering tears. "I love you so much, but I couldn't find you in time to stop them from hurting you."

"You did find me in time, Lover. I knew you would, and you did. That's all that matters." Takumi butted their foreheads together and grabbed the back of Keisuke's head. Giving his mate a tender kiss, Takumi wished he knew the right words to fix everything that had gone so horribly wrong.

Before he fully grasped how far he had pushed Keisuke, he felt his lover's arms wrapping like a vice around his waist and pulling him flush against his larger body. Keisuke's tongue was skimming across his teeth demanding entrance. With a sigh Takumi welcomed Keisuke's ardor fully as he sucked in his tongue. Twining and twirling in a long missed dance of passion and love, Takumi felt light headed as he surrendered to their connection.

Furnace hot, Keisuke's body welded to his as their mouths clung together. Takumi clutched at Keisuke's shoulders as his knees went weak. The tightly leashed power of the blond's emotions flooded his mind and body. Hard and pulsing, Keisuke's covered sex slid against his pelvis. Feeling Keisuke's hand slipping down and across his ass, Takumi shuddered. His right leg shifted up onto Keisuke's thigh. That beguiling hand cupping his butt cheek skimmed along his outer thigh and lifted his body higher so that Takumi found his remaining toes barely touching the tiles as their tongues battled in a perfectly synchronized dance of feelings. Pulling back and sucking in a shaky breath, Keisuke growled. "Damn, I'm going to lose control in a minute. I miss you too much."

Takumi felt hypnotized by the feral quality in his voice, and the heat radiating from passion glazed cerulean eyes. "Domo for still loving me despite everything I've put you through, Lover."

The throaty, masculine groan that rumbled up from Keisuke's throat slipped through his body in a wave of vibrations Takumi felt to his core. "I'll always love you, Takumi. I can't possibly live without you, my own dear heart. Showing you all the ways I still love you has to wait a little longer. Unwrap your sexy legs from around my waist. There's not a chance your gorgeous ass can handle me, especially without lube."

Startled by Keisuke's hoarse command, Takumi realized both of his legs were indeed wrapped around his lover's waist and locked. When had he shifted his weight against the shower tiles and wrapped both of his legs around his partner's waist to grind his rigid erection against Keisuke's arousal? A quiet whimper escaped his throat as his nervous system screamed for appeasement. His body yearned for Keisuke's touch to cleanse him of the taint others had left with every fiber of Takumi's being. Heat coiled in the pit of his stomach as Keisuke gave him a sensual look.

"I know you need me, baby. I'm going to get you off. Not the way you're so delightfully begging me for though. As soon as your sinfully sexy body's well, I'm going to take you up on your offer and then some. Unwrap your legs from around my waist so I can get you off, my own. Trust me, I won't leave you hanging."

Letting his legs slide back to the tiles, Takumi felt another soft whine slide from his throat. Tugging his arms from around his neck, Keisuke slid down his body. Settling onto his knees, Keisuke's tongue slid down the length of his screaming erection. With hands and mouth Keisuke began guiding him toward ecstacy.

Sliding one leg onto Keisuke's shoulder as he locked his other knee to remain standing, Takumi sought to guide Keisuke's fingers where he needed them most. Shuddering in his lover's grasp as Keisuke went to work on the back of his sac to put pressure on his prostate from the outside, Takumi's eyes locked with Keisuke's. The feel of his mate's hot mouth surrounding his sensitive head and moving over his length shot wild neediness up Takumi's spine. Jolts of pleasure flowed inside his body as Keisuke's finger slid into his canal. With slow precision Keisuke began working his weakest point. The blond's mouth slid along his length as he drove him toward the climax so desperately needed. His scrotum tightened even more as tremors radiated from Keisuke's finger and spilled into his groin. Shuddering, Takumi lost control and slipped over the precipice into release.

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As the Smoke Clears #4 in Rivalry Series