Burning Bridges | By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 4721 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure. |
A/N: "La petit mort," French for "the little death," is a euphemism for orgasm.
Chapter 2
The Little Death
Natsu woke up slowly, feeling so exhausted, he could barely think. All the muscles in his body seemed to be in pain all at once. His chest hurt too badly to breathe deeply, and his shoulders felt immensely sore. When he tried to move his arms, he realized they were trapped. Slowly, he opened his eyes and saw handcuffs restraining his hands to a metal-framed headboard.
"What the...?" Then he realized he felt cold and looked down to see himself naked. "Fuck!" he shouted in surprise.
A movement to the side caught his attention. He jolted as he looked over and saw Gray sitting in the corner of the dark room, watching Natsu with amusement.
"You really like to sleep in. It's night already," Gray said sardonically.
Natsu yanked on the handcuffs. "What the...what the hell is this? Why did...? Whoa..." He had tried to make a fire to burn through the cuffs, but just attempting it left him dizzy. "What happened to me?"
"I used a mazer on you," Gray explained.
"A what?"
"It zaps you and sucks away all of a wizard's magic, leaving you weak and helpless for up to twelve hours. Don't tell anyone I have it. It's not really legal in Fiore."
"You...you little cheat," Natsu panted as his head swam with confusion.
"That's right." Gray rose from the chair, completely naked already, and walked over to the bed. "I'm cheating today. I'm punishing you. How dare you let Lucy be your first!"
"Lucy? First?" After a moment of confusion, Natsu smirked. "Is that what this is all about? Me and Lucy? Damn, you really make a bad jealous man, droopy-eyes. If you liked Lucy, you should have said something to her first. Why hesitate? Don't tell me you're a virgin, Gray. I mean, you're a year older than me."
Gray climbed onto the bed and leaned over on top of Natsu. "Didn't you think that maybe I was saving it for someone special?" He roughly grabbed Natsu's soft cock.
"Gray!" Natsu cried out, and his voice cracked at the strain. "Wha-...what the hell? Don't touch me like that. It's sick." He watched in disgust as Gray's cold hands played with his soft cock, trying to entice it. "Seriously, don't fucking touch me!"
"Your virginity should have been mine, Natsu."
"Lucy wasn't a...wait...whose virginity?" he cried out in confusion that was beginning to border on terror.
Gray's eyes were icy cold. "When you two hooked up, I thought I'd be jealous of you having Lucy. Instead, for some reason, I began to feel the other way. I'm madly jealous of Lucy...because she has you."
Natsu panted in chaotic thoughts. Gray's touches so far had no reaction besides making Natsu feel disgusted, but seeing the turbulent emotions in the ice wizard's face was having a slow affect on him.
"Me?" he whispered airily in disbelief. "Gray, we're...we're both guys."
"I know. That's why I hate this. It's weird. There are always stupid rumors going around the guild, first about the two of us, then me and Loke, then that pervert Sugarboy, and Juvia is convinced I'm in love with Lyon. People keep whispering that I'm gay when they think I can't hear, and I've ignored them up to now. I've never been interested in guys. So why the hell do I feel like this about you, out of all the bastards in this world? I hate it! I hate being in love with you. And I hate knowing that you'll never have the same feelings toward me."
"So stop this," Natsu shouted in a panic.
"No," Gray smirked. "This is punishment. You're a pervert, a flame-brain, and somehow you've messed up my head, so I'm going to punish you."
His hands slid up Natsu's stomach and chest, then grazed over his nipples. The dragon slayer tensed up and tried to cringe back at the touch.
"Sensitive on your chest, huh?" Darkly, Gray chuckled and began to run his fingers around in circles over the pink dots. "I never would have thought you'd have a sensitive spot." He suddenly grabbed the nipples and tweaked them.
Natsu's spine arched up. "Gaaah! Stop!"
"Why stop?" Gray smirked. "You're just starting to harden." One hand slid down and stroked the cock that was finally beginning to lengthen. "Didn't you say that your little dragon is always fired up?"
Natsu tried to flame his body again, yet attempting just that much made him dizzy and his vision blur. "I said stop, bastard! What the hell are you planning to do, rape me?"
Gray climbed on top of him and smiled down into the dragon slayer's face. "Yep!" he said with a pop to the word.
Natsu shrank back from Gray's dark face. "N-no," he whispered. "That isn't even funny. You don't joke about things like that."
"You're right. You don't." Gray reached over to his nightstand to pick up a butt plug and a bottle of lubricant.
Natsu stared at the rubber sex toy and felt a surge of terror. "No! Gray, you...you'll get into trouble. You'll be arrested; you could even get kicked out of the guild. Please, Gray, don't do this!" He yanked on the handcuffs again, urgently rattling them, but he felt the weakness still affecting him. "Please!"
"Do you think I can stay in the guild and see you and Lucy together?" Gray asked bitterly as he slathered lube all over the plug. "I was planning on leaving anyway."
"You...You're leaving?" Natsu asked in shock. "Just because of me and Lucy? Gray, that's stupid! You can't leave."
Gray suddenly screamed insanely. "You don't know what it's like!" He tried to calm him and spoke softer. "It's killing me to stay and watch you happy with someone else. It's making me sick, I can't sleep, my magic is weaker, and it's affecting the way I fight. I can't continue being a wizard this way. So I need to leave. There's no way I can stay in this guild. This is your goodbye present, Natsu."
He rammed the plug in so fast, Natsu did not even have time to scream. His body went completely still with the intense pain and sudden shock. Even when he tried to breathe, it felt like nothing worked, like his body was already killed and useless.
"Well, it shut you up," Gray chuckled. "Was that too rough? It's probably the first time you've felt something up your ass, right? I bet I tore you. Sorry, but if I eased it in, you'd only tense up, and that'd hurt way worse."
Gray leaned over and kissed Natsu firmly on the mouth. Still, Natsu's face was paler than usual, and the fact that he still had not made a sound worried Gray.
"Hey." He caressed Natsu's face. "Hey, are you even breathing? Loosen up, idiot. If you stay this tense, the pain will only get worse."
A tear dripped down Natsu's face. With unsteady words, he begged, "Take...it...out."
"No," Gray said coldly.
Natsu suddenly sobbed. "Please, take it out. I'll do anything, just get it out. It...it hurts...too much."
Gray sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. On one hand, the idea that he had made Natsu sob like a child was sadistically satisfying. However, although he had decided to really go through with this, he pitied Natsu a little. It wasn't his fault, after all. Gray did not even know why he felt this strongly jealous.
"Okay, I'm sorry," he whispered, smoothing back the pink hair. "It'll hurt a bit coming out, though. If you stay clenched, it won't budge, so you really do have to follow my orders. First, you've been holding your breath. Let it out slowly."
Natsu did, but a shivering moan escaped with it.
"Now, loosen up your butt muscles. If you don't do that, it won't come out."
It took a while, but finally Natsu relaxed enough.
"That's better, right?" Gray smiled. "Keep relaxing." He rubbed out the firm muscles on Natsu's thighs. "Loosen up. Is it hurting less?"
"Yeah," Natsu said softly. "Doesn't hurt."
"That's good." His hands rubbed up Natsu's thighs again, but this time they kept going up to the semi-hard cock. "Stay relaxed."
"Gray!"
"If you tense up, I can't take it out," he warned, but this time he had a devilish smirk. He stroked over the cock's head, then a smooth glide down the shaft. "I'll take it out soon."
Despite himself, Natsu shuddered at the cold hands. He could feel his hardness, and the plug in his ass was partly to blame. Now that the pain was gone, that thing felt intensely good.
Gray considered jerking off Natsu and leaving the plug where it was, but then he would get no pleasure. For ulterior reasons, he reached down to the silicone grip. "Okay, I'm going to pull it out. It'll hurt if you tense up. Keep breathing, and push like you're gonna shit on me."
"Maybe I should," Natsu glared.
Gray pulled slowly. Getting past the bulbous head of the plug was the hardest part. Natsu whimpered at that point, but suddenly the whole thing came sliding out. Natsu moaned in relief, and he momentarily lost consciousness.
When he came to, Gray was still on top of him, licking Natsu's chest, savoring the salty-tasting skin. Natsu blushed and looked away. His ass still hurt, but that brief memory of pleasure stained all the hatred he felt.
"I'll kill you," Natsu whispered furiously.
Gray raised to his hands and knees, smiling down at him. "You'll have to catch me. As soon as I'm done here, I'm on the first train out of Fiore. I might like the idea of you chasing after me. For now, how about I make it up to you?"
He slid down, rubbing his body along Natsu's cock as he went. The dragon slayer hissed at the stimulation, but he tried to keep focused on anger. Then, wondering what the ice wizard planned to do, Natsu looked down.
"This is my apology." Gray suddenly took Natsu's cock into his mouth, pressing the foreskin back with his lips, until it hit the back of his throat.
Natsu's spine arched. He and Lucy had just begun trying out sex. Blow jobs were something she still did not like. She had attempted it once; however, she was too grossed out by the taste and the idea of licking the thing Natsu used to piss. Of course, she loved having herself licked, but she insisted that was different. Natsu never complained. If she disliked doing something, he would not force her. Still, having a blow job was something he had fantasized about for years.
Now, he was having his first one with his sworn rival.
"Gray," Natsu panted heatedly as little puffs of steam came out of his mouth and into Gray's cold apartment.
The ice wizard hummed around the cock, and Natsu jolted at the vibrations. Blue eyes turned up to face him, gleaming with mischievousness. Then Gray pulled up, sucking hard the whole way, and let the cock come out with a pop. Gray gave an over-exaggerated lick to his moist lips.
"Do you like it?"
Natsu refused to answer. On one hand, Gray's mouth was truly amazing. He never thought a blow job would feel so fantastic. On another hand, if he admitted something like that, it would only encourage Gray, and Natsu wanted him to stop this before it went out of control.
"It's not enough of an apology, is it?" Gray looked back down. "Perhaps this, then."
He grabbed Natsu's legs and folded the knees up to his chest. He felt Natsu try to fight against it, but the magic deprivation disease he was suffering through made the dragon slayer too weak to resist. Gray saw a little blood on the anus and realized he really had torn Natsu.
"It's this part that was hurt, after all," he reasoned to himself, and Gray leaned over to lick the scab. With the moisture from his tongue, he wiped away the blood. Then he looked at the puckered star and gave it a gentle kiss. Natsu made a grunting sound at that, which left Gray smirking. Slowly, he leaned back over, licking the tiny hole and pressing his tongue against it.
"Gray!" Natsu shrieked, flailing about wildly without control.
Gray continued to lick and press his tongue in and out, then he hummed right against the small entrance. Natsu's body stiffened, and he felt precum leaking already.
"Oh fuck," he moaned. "Gray...nnngh!"
Part of Natsu realized, if Lucy did not like giving blow jobs, there was no way she would agree to do what Gray was doing now. A small part of his brain, the part that was not screaming profanities and plotting how to murder Gray, knew that this might be the only chance he would ever feel something like this. After the pain he first got, this intense pleasure nearly undid him. Gray's tongue seemed to take all the pain away and replace it with pure ecstasy.
Gray decided to test Natsu's responsiveness. Slowly, he lessened the hold on the dragon slayer's legs. They did not come crashing down to crush him in a leglock. Instead, Natsu spread his legs even wider. Gray hummed even more at seeing this subconscious eagerness. Then his hands slid up the firm torso and pinched Natsu's nipples again.
"Graaay!"
Hearing his name being moaned like that was too much. Gray realized he was instinctively thrusting into the mattress. He was not going to last long, and that upset him. Then again, the mazer he used would only be effective for a few hours. Since Natsu was such a powerful wizard who had awakened his Second Origin, Gray estimated that, instead of twelve hours, he had maybe four. Already, Natsu had been unconscious for two hours. That left Gray with two hours to finish this and get the hell out of Magnolia before Natsu regained his magic enough to truly try to kill him.
Gray pulled his tongue out, and the whine from the boy under him made him smile.
"I'll kill you," Natsu huffed, his face flushed and sweat glistening his body. "I'm going to fucking kill you."
"Fair enough," Gray decided, "because you'll get the little death first."
Gray sucked on his fingers, and Natsu watched with shivering dread. What was going to happen next? Pain? Pleasure? Why was he licking his fingers like that? Why did he look so erotic and dangerous doing it?
"Gray?" he asked, dreading to find out what was next. "Please, you can stop this. I...I won't tell if you stop right now. I'll say I lost to you. It's your win today, okay? We fought, I lost, so...so let's just stop right here."
"Bargaining?" Gray asked in amusement, slathering his fingers in saliva. "This isn't like you at all."
"I don't wanna get raped, dammit!" he yelled. "And...and I don't want you to get arrested. What do I have to do to make you stop this?"
Gray took his fingers out of his mouth and looked down at the pink-haired boy, considering it seriously. "Break up with Lucy."
Natsu opened his mouth to shout against the demand, but he stopped himself. His brow furrowed, and he looked away to a corner of the room. Lucy's laugh came to his mind, but...was having a girlfriend worth all of this?
"Fine," he whispered in defeat. "We were planning on going out tomorrow. I'll...I'll break up with her then. Anything else?"
Gray nodded. "Go out with me instead."
"Hell no!" Natsu snapped without even thinking about it.
Gray pressed one of his fingers inside Natsu's asshole. The boy clenched and arched at the intrusion.
"What the...no!" he cried out in panic. "Don't stick it in like that. Get it out! Gray, stop it!"
"You break up with her, date me, and swear you'll never love anyone but me for the rest of your life."
"Go to hell!"
Gray pressed the finger in deeper and twisted it. Natsu cried out and tried to shake his hips to pull away from the intrusion.
"If you do that, then this won't be rape," Gray smirked sadistically. "It'd be consensual."
Natsu felt deeply stabbed. "You were planning on doing it anyway?"
"Of course. I've been holding myself back until now. I was saving my virginity for you, Natsu...and you went off and slept with Lucy!" Feeling bitter anger, Gray forced a second finger inside, and Natsu howled in pain.
"No, dammit, that hurts! Shit, you're tearing me. Stop it!"
Gray ignored the screams. "Besides, do you really think I'd want you when you don't want me back? I want you to love me, and if I can't get that..." A third finger slowly forced its way in, and Natsu whimpered shamelessly. "...I'll take what I can get and leave you to your girlfriend. I hope that, over the years, you'll look back and realize she will never be able to please you as thoroughly as I can. She would never go as far as I would. She will never, ever, in a hundred years, love you as deeply as I love you, Natsu."
He pulled the fingers out, and Natsu's body went limp. Gray grabbed the lube, poured half the bottle onto himself and onto Natsu's hole, then climbed on top of him and glared down into the flushed face.
"I love you so much, Natsu...I'd go this far just to have you."
He lined his cock up, and Natsu felt the pressure.
"No! Stop! Don't, Gray."
Despite the frantic protests, he pressed in. The lube helped him to slide the head inside, but Natsu's tensing body made for resistance. Gray had to hold Natsu's thighs apart with a vice-like grip and use the strength in his hips to thrust in forcefully, straining and grunting as he pushed his way in. Natsu screamed at the pain. Finally, Gray was in to the root and panted from the struggle of fighting Natsu's resistance. He was momentarily overwhelmed. It was his first time, although he had read enough of Erza's yaoi collection to know the basics. Still, seeing gay sex drawn out and feeling the tightness of entering a man's ass were completely different.
"Damn, you're a furnace inside," Gray moaned. "Shit..."
He tightly gripped himself at the base of his cock. Come on, I can't come this suddenly. It'd show how much of a virgin I really am. Still...fuck, he's tight and hot! Trying to take his mind off of that, he looked down at Natsu's body. There was something empowering about being on top like this, and a dark satisfaction shadowed his mind.
"Your ass virginity is mine," Gray sneered as he waited for Natsu to loosen up before he could go any further. "Remember that. Even if you and Lucy get married, have kids, raise a family together, always remember: your ass belongs to me."
He was ready for a fierce counterattack, but either the mazer had truly done its job in draining Natsu of energy, or the dragon slayer was giving up...and Natsu would never surrender in a fight, especially not against Gray. However, he no longer sensed murderous intent from the dragon slayer. The tears streaming down the flushed face were of genuine sadness.
Damn him, but the dragon slayer truly, honestly, did not want Gray to become a rapist.
"Natsu?" Gray asked in worry.
"Gray..." The name croaked out of Natsu's throat between sobs. "Move already."
Gray blinked. Was he actually encouraging him? Or did Natsu just want this over with quickly because it hurt and was humiliating? He did not know, he was too worried to ask, so he pulled back and slowly pressed in again, gliding into that tight circle of muscles. Natsu moaned and shivered, and Gray nearly lost it.
"Dammit, you're sexy," the ice wizard sneered lasciviously.
Natsu glared up in fiery ire. "I hate you," he hissed.
Gray knew to expect it, so he did not stop. He thrust in again and again, ignoring Natsu's yells.
"I hate you for...ugh!...doing this and...nnnngh!...saying you're going to...ahhn!...leave Fairy Tail. I...fuck!...I hate you for that, Gray. Oh God! I hate you."
Gray toned out everything but his own lust, the feel of friction as he viciously snapped his hips and thrust inside the burning entrance. He wanted to see Natsu smile, wanted to hear "I love you" rather than words of hate, but...it was something he could live with. It was a sin to love his best friend when Natsu already had a girlfriend—a girl who was also his best female friend, a girl Gray had somewhat liked up until a while ago—so this was just one more sin heaped up on it. Still, as Natsu cursed and spewed hateful words at him, Gray let one tear drip out in regret.
Natsu smelled the salty teardrop before seeing it slip past the lanky bangs that hid Gray's eyes. He looked in shock, then in regret. He had flaunted his relationship with Lucy purely to piss off the ice wizard. He never thought how much those taunts must have hurt Gray.
"Why Gray?" he whispered. "You can't return home after you do something like this."
Gray knew he was right. He was burning his bridges, severing any chance at returning. Even if, years down the road, he missed Fairy Tail and wanted to return, after doing this, there was no way to come back. This bridge—this link to home and to the nakama he thought of as family—was already smoldering. It would be nothing but ash come morning, and by then he would be long gone, never looking back.
"I..." Gray paused in his thrusting as he fought the sadness. "I wouldn't want to return home anyway, not when I've already lost you. At least this way, there's no chance I can come back only to be hurt all over again, and I get one moment of happiness that I can look back on."
"Doesn't this really make you happy?" Natsu asked sternly.
The ice wizard chuckled at the irony. "No," he answered honestly. "It doesn't. Not one bit. I'm only hurting you. Still, I'd rather hurt you and clearly show you my feelings, than stop and be half-assed about it. My feelings are not half-assed, Natsu. Twisted and perverted, maybe...but not half-assed."
"Then don't do things halfway," Natsu said, blushing slightly. "Make me feel good, too."
Gray was again shocked at the unexpected reply, but that sort of willingness made him smile. Maybe he was only deluding himself, but for that night, he pretended Natsu really wanted this. He kissed the dragon slayer and pretended that the grunts were not of disgust, but of passion. He stroked what was definitely not a "little dragon" by any means, and he listened only to the heated moans, ignoring the curses. When he finally thrust against Natsu's prostate and the dragon slayer wrapped his legs around the scarred torso, Gray pretended it was to urge him on.
In the dimness of the moonlight, their moans and heated gasps went unseen by others. Only Gray got to experience this side of Natsu, and he felt a greedy need to capture every expression his rival could make. Gray gazed down, etched the look of Natsu's flushed face into his memory, and smiled sadly that he would have to leave. He had spent weeks debating if it was better to continue in Fairy Tail hiding his pain but enjoying at least the bittersweetness of seeing Natsu from time to time, or having this moment to fulfill all of his desires at the cost of torching the bonds between them. In the first scenario, he would torment himself for the rest of his life, but Natsu got to remain happily carefree. In the other choice, he cemented Natsu's dislike of him, earned his wrath, yet at least Gray could look back on his life and say he did everything he wanted to do.
It was a selfish choice, but no one ever said Gray Fullbuster was purely altruistic.
Silently, stroking Natsu more and more while thrusting harder, Gray watched the young man under him. He tried to take solace in thinking that maybe Natsu would also look back to this moment and someday remember it for the pleasure...although he knew that was probably impossible.
"Gray!" Natsu shrieked. "No!"
Natsu's hands clenched into fists, yanking against the handcuffs and rattling them. Gray felt the passage getting tighter. Natsu's whole body was flushing with the impending release.
"You're breathtaking, Natsu," Gray said heatedly. "Nnngh...damn, not gonna last much longer."
Natsu's head swung back and forth, fighting against instincts. Even if he did not have magic to produce flames, his breaths made white puffs in the cold apartment, and the steam coming from his sweaty body created a dreamy mist around the bed.
"Gray," he shuddered. "I...I..." Despite trying to hold back, his spine snapped upward, his eyes tightened, and his mouth opened wide as he moaned in pleasure. "Ahhh! Ooh...Graaaay!"
Seeing Natsu in such bliss completely overwhelmed Gray. He felt the cock in his hand jerk, and he looked down in time to see Natsu shoot off. It was an oddly beautiful sight, nearly angelic, so much so that tears came to Gray's eyes. However, the moment of amazement shattered as he felt a surge in his own body as well. He slammed in deeply, and his toes curled as he shuddered.
"Nnnh-Natsu! Oh God, f-...fuck!"
It ended far too quickly, just a shout, deep moans, a splash of semen, jolts of pleasure that shook Gray to his soul, and then...all over. He wished it had been more, felt better, a special moment filled with love and passion. Instead, Natsu passed out due to the physical drain on his already weakened body. Gray caressed the unconscious face. Even like this, Natsu was breathtaking. He slowly pulled out, then looked down at the damage he had done, the sheets stained, some blood marks on the bed, a few bruises on Natsu's thighs from grasping him so roughly...he looked at it all, these stains of sin, a deed that was out of pure greed, something unfulfilling that made Gray feel dirty and sick to his stomach.
He pulled away from Natsu. Gray felt nauseous and swallowed down acid. Slowly, he rose to his feet. His legs wobbled, and he held onto his dresser to balance himself. His breathing was still coming heavily from exhaustion mixed with disgust at himself. Although he had plotted to do this for some time, now that the crime was committed, he felt stunned.
"Oh God, what did I just do?" he whispered in horror.
Suddenly, Gray grabbed his mouth, ran to the bathroom, and vomited into the toilet. He sank to his knees, resting his head on the toilet seat, shivering and sobbing to himself. No matter how quickly he wiped the tears, more came, overwhelming him.
"Natsu," he sniffled, shivering as a coldness deeper than a winter blizzard froze his veins. "Natsu..."
Gray hugged his arms and tried to curl into a ball. He hated what he just did, and he hated that a part of him was happy just to have taken Natsu's ass virginity. It was what he wanted, after all: to have his first time be with Natsu. He wanted a piece of Natsu before Lucy stole away all of him. He forcefully took it, and he felt smug about that. Yet that dark emotion made him heave up his dinner again.
How could he feel so smug, yet so sick?
He flushed the vomit down, washed his mouth, then grabbed a towel to clean them both. Natsu moaned in his sleep as Gray wiped the dripping semen from the dragon slayer's stomach and the lube mixed with blood off from his ass. Then he laid in bed beside the boy, gazing at how the moon made Natsu's face look metallic and gave his hair a strange color. Gray smoothed back the silverish-pink strands, and tears came to his eyes again.
"I wish you could love me, Natsu," he whispered, and Gray kissed the sleeping dragon slayer on the cheek. "I just hope that, some day, you can forgive me and be happy."
He knew he would be despised by his guild members and the citizens of Magnolia for his crime. He would forever be blamed for leaving a scar that could not be healed on his team and on his beloved Natsu.
He unlocked Natsu's handcuffs and gently moved the arms down, resting those sinewy hands onto the broad, bronze chest. He stroked the roughened fingers for a moment, thinking how nice it would have been to hold hands together, go on dates, and when the team stayed at an inn, of course he and Natsu would have their own room away from the girls. Sleeping together in an inn, cradling the dragon slayer on a train as he got sick, little things like that would have been sweet.
Now, they were all impossible.
He had burned his bridges. He could only keep walking away.
"Sayonara, Natsu," he whispered, and he kissed the boy on the lips.
"Mmh...Gray," came a sleepy moan.
That dreamy mutter made Gray smile. He committed the way Natsu said his name to memory, then wrote a brief letter and put it beside the bed. He looked down one last time at his sleeping dragon slayer before grabbing a bag he had already packed beforehand and leaving out the front door.
Natsu curled up in his sleep and mumbled in a dream. "Don't go, Gray. Don't leave me..."
End of Chapter 2
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