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Regrets in the Crying Sky	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 7052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 1-Rain
- 2-Regrets
- 3-Hesitancy
- 4-Taboo
- 5-Dessert
- 6-Domestication
- 7-Crying
- 8-Vow
- 9-Freedom
- 10-Decisions
- 11-Only
- 12-Stay
- 1
- 2
- 3
A/N: An appropriate song for this chapter is "Pieces" by Red.

Chapter 2

Regrets
Gray froze, trapped by the Dragon Slayer's passion-filled eyes, caught like a rabbit in a snare. For a moment, he forgot to breathe, merely blinking as Natsu's words tried to fit into his bewildered mind. He stared blankly at the Dragon Slayer. After a silent moment, Natsu finally put his hand back over his eyes, trying to hide the pained emotions on his face.
Gray suddenly remembered to inhale. Was this really happening? Did Natsu really say what he thought he said? You're the bitch who changed me. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Maybe he was misunderstanding it.
"Me?" Gray whispered numbly. "I changed you? But … but how…"
Natsu cut him off. "It's because I didn't hold onto you when you were being taken away from me. Juvia swept you away like a spring flood, and I didn't do a fucking thing about it!" he roared.
"Na- … -tsu?"
Didn't hold on to … to me? I was taken away … from him? From Natsu? That means, who Natsu loved back then … the person Natsu regrets not confessing to … No! No, it can't be. Oh God! All this time?
Gray's eyes went wide, and his hands trembled with shock. The truth sank deep into him. The way Natsu looked at him, those squinty eyes were not filled with hate, but with longing. Longing for him! He felt the icy hollowness inside being filled with Natsu's warmness. The only one who understood his suffering, his pain, and the emptiness in his heart, was the man who had been suffering the same things all along.
And Gray never once realized it.
Natsu dropped his hand completely, exposing all of his face, no longer hiding his feelings. Gray gave a soft gasp at the intensity in those sage-green eyes. They practically burned with forbidden passion that Natsu had been bottling for … who knew how long! Gray's gaze fell to the floor to hide from that intense stare.
"Why?" Gray asked softly, his voice frail and cracking under the anguishing strain. "Why did you keep quiet?"
"You're in love with Juvia," Natsu explained with a weary shrug. "I wanted you to be happy."
"Idiot!" he shrieked. Gray's lips trembled as he tried desperately to hold back surging emotions. "You … goddamn … idiot," he whispered hoarsely, swallowing back sobs. He took a slow, unsteady breath, and finally confessed, "I was in love with you, Natsu."
The Dragon Slayer's eyes widened fractionally. "But … Juvia…"
"I married her because I couldn't stand the thought of never having love at all. I needed … something. Anything!"
"Any love," Natsu repeated, stunned as Gray's previous words now made sense.
"That's right," Gray said acridly. "Any love. Anything but suffering alone. And she was there, she was willing, and she's been … kind. Loving," he admitted hesitantly. "But she wasn't who I originally wanted. You were. Yet you never gave me a single hint that you felt anything more than pure disgust and loathing toward me. Dammit, Natsu! Why didn't you say something before I married her? Why did you turn away from me, when you could have pulled me into your arms? Why…?"
"Because I'm a coward, okay?" Natsu screamed. "Because I thought it was better to live with my unrequited love rather than hear you reject me. You never gave me any hints either, dumb-ass!"
Gray shuddered out tears. "Bastard! Why tell me now, when I can't … I can't…" A sobbing hiccup shivered out. Teardrops slid down his face and fell as tiny splashes onto Natsu's floor. Gray punched the wall behind him in frustration. "Goddammit!"
Natsu reached up and gently stroked the tears away. He had seen Gray cry before, but never like this. Those tears burned Natsu's heart like no flame could. The shiver of his cold breathes, the quivering muscles that strained to hold back emotions, the occasional sound of Gray's throat clenching as he tried to swallow back sobs, was almost too much for the Dragon Slayer to bear.
"I'm sorry, Gray. I couldn't keep it a secret forever, I guess. It was too much of a burden. That's why I kept avoiding you for all these years." He turned his face away in regret. "I never should have brought you into this house. Part of me was hoping … but I knew it'd only trouble you. I really am sorry."
Gray glared at him, sniffled, then suddenly he threw his arms around Natsu and pulled him into a crushing hug. Natsu was nearly yanked off his feet and steadied himself against the wall with his hand.
"You idiot!" Gray shrieked. He grasped those muscular shoulders tightly, as if fearing that if he let go now, he would lose Natsu forever.
Years of regret broke down, and a lifetime of new regrets formed in that single moment. Now Gray knew the truth, yet he was married. This was unfair to him, unfair to Natsu, yet immensely unfair to Juvia.
If only I could have one moment … one night of true happiness … just one … with Natsu.
Natsu stroked Gray's black hair and rested his chin on the strong shoulder. Holding Gray felt … comfortable. Right! He wanted to hug him like this and never let go.
"I want to be greedy," Natsu confessed in a sinful whisper. "I want to steal you away from your wife, make you mine … just for one night."
Gray pulled back with reddened eyes. Painfully, a smile struggled to his lips. "I want that, too," he breathed guiltily.
Their eyes shined deeply, burning, freezing, tingling the skin of one another. Although they spent all of their lives as polar opposites—fire and ice, summer and winter—now they felt a magnetic attraction, something impossible to resist.
Not like they wanted to fight it! Not now. Not when they finally knew the truth.
Their lips slowly neared each other. Natsu felt cold breaths on his mouth, and Gray felt puffs of hot air on his nose as Natsu leaned over him slightly. They hesitated for a moment in trepidation, a worried glance into one another's eyes to ask a silent question: Do you really want this? Seeing the eagerness in each other's face, Natsu leaned forward more, and Gray tipped his chin up a little, softly uniting their lips in a gentle kiss.
Their eyes closed in surrender to such forbidden passion, as fluttering bliss filled the emptiness of their hearts.
Natsu's mouth felt warm and firm, his lips a little chapped, but the strength in that mouth could be sensed even in such a soft kiss. As the heat between them soared, they inhaled through their noses, unwilling to part from this moment.
A little bit of dark pink stubble on his chin tickled Gray's face. Hesitantly, Gray reached up and touched the razor-roughened cheek. Natsu jolted with a faint gasp at the icy fingers. Then he leaned into the caress with a sigh humming through his nose.
Their longing desire and growing passion could have iced Hell and burned Heaven.
Natsu pulled back, letting their lips pop at separating, and he looked deeply into Gray's hazy eyes. Nothing had ever before looked so beautiful as that face lost in dreamy ecstasy, and it made Natsu's stomach tug with need. He wanted to see more unique expressions. He wanted to see every face Gray hid behind dark rooms.
Natsu leaned down again, firmer this time, and pressed Gray against the wall. His hand felt the black hair, still slightly damp from the rain. Gray's mouth tasted of cigarettes, green tea, and peppermint.
Natsu wanted more!
His licked Gray's lip and smirked when he heard a small gasp. Then that mouth opened, something wet moistened his dry lips, and a cold sigh entered his mouth. Their tongues met, like a jolt of electricity, and Natsu grunted to keep from wantonly moaning at the taste.
Gray was potently aware of Natsu's height now. After years married to a shorter woman, it was awkward to have to tilt his head up to kiss.
Years married!
"Gray-sama!"
He gasped and pulled away in a panic. Gray knew that had not been her voice, just a memory. Still, terror and guilt shot through his veins.
"Gray? Gray!" Natsu called out softly, worried at the widened, horrified eyes. The Dragon Slayer suddenly smelled fear in the cold body. Although he felt sinking disappointment, he knew he had to be understanding. "It's okay. We can stop."
Gray gasped, and his eyes shot up in dread. "No!" he breathed. A shiver escaped, trembling his whole body, and Natsu felt the muscles shuddering under him.
Natsu caressed his cold face and smiled with empathy. "You don't have to."
"I want to," he insisted, yet a second later his face flinched with guilt.
Natsu was torn. Part of him knew just how wrong this was. Twelve years ago, it would have just been taboo, two men together. Now, it was adultery!
Gray pulled Natsu closer to him, rubbing his nose across the stubbly cheek, giving himself a moment to truly make up his mind. His fingers ran through the soft pink hair, down Natsu's ears, and he caressed the hidden neck with his thumb, dipping down under the scarf.
Warm fingers slid up Gray's face, tracing the dry tear tracks. Natsu gazed at Gray as he saw the inner struggle. He could do nothing. He could not push him into something he would regret, but he also did not have the heart to shove Gray away.
"I should have told you this a long time ago, and maybe it's too late, but…" Natsu looked firmly into those blue-gray eyes and rubbed the tip of his nose against the icy one. "I love you, Gray. I have for … well, for a long time," he said after a pause as he tried and failed to pinpoint just when it happened.
Softly, enjoying the warm skin on his face, Gray confessed, "I was fifteen—maybe sixteen—when I realized I was in love."
This declaration eased Natsu's heart. Then he smirked playfully. "That long, huh? Jerk! That was way before Juvia arrived. Before Lucy, too. Hell, I think that might have been before Lisanna disappeared."
"Just before," Gray nodded. "We all thought you two were dating, so of course I didn't say anything. I didn't really understand it, either. Then when we thought she died, you changed. I obviously couldn't tell you while you were grieving for her. After that, there just never seemed to be a moment serious enough to tell you the truth."
Natsu nodded, realizing Gray had a point. Lisanna's supposed death had traumatized the entire guild, especially him, Mirajane, and Elfman. "I think this moment is pretty serious."
Gray smirked at such an understatement. "This moment is hells serious, bastard."
"So tell me again," Natsu urged playfully as his eyelids lowered. "Tell me properly."
Gray scoffed softly to hide his blushing fluster. "Why should I say something so embarrassing?"
"Because I wanna hear it," Natsu grinned. He leaned over and nibbled on Gray's ear. Then he breathed out softly, "I want to hear you say it, in your voice, and watch your lips, so I know for sure that I'm not imagining all this. It's too good to be true, so I need you to say it properly. Bluntly." He leaned up and looked into Gray's face with anticipation. "Say it."
Gray realized that Natsu was holding his breath now. He looked so cute: worried yet hopeful. Gray reached up and caressed that eager, boyish face.
"I love you … Natsu."

End of Chapter 2
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Regrets in the Crying Sky