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For Love, Perhaps	By : HunterOpera Category: +S to Z > Utena Views: 1626 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I make no money from this and own nothing related to Revolutionary Girl Utena. All copyright holders are owners of their own characters.

Chapter List
- 1-Rose Dawn
- 2-Lost Petals
- 1
- 2
The white rose petals flutter in the wind. They were right over her heart. I placed them there myself, meeting her eyes and holding them. She thinks she loves me but she doesn't know what love is or what it costs.
I know. I have millennium of learning.
She fought so hard. She might have even beaten my brother's favorite victim, but Touga has learned his lessons so well. One misplaced word by Juri and he was able to figure Utena out, unravel her by attacking her the core of her identity. He played at a nobility he does not possess and she, idiot that she is, never looked below the surface to the twisted thing my brother will make of him.
They charge. He lets his guard down, feigning sacrifice. She loses herself in the lie of him and he takes her rose from her, takes everything she is from her.
And there she is. Utena Tenjou. The Scarlet of the School, would-be prince, standing limp as her heart flutters away from her and the church bells ring. Head bowed and shoulders slumped, tears rising in her eyes. Everyone had warned her but she still doesn't know the rules of this game. The sword vanishes from her hand.
She doesn't deserve it.
“Well, how lucky for you,” Touga smirks, an echo of how he's heard my brother speak. “Now you never have to be caught up in these unfathomable duels.” Her back is turned to him as he sheaths his sword and hers vanishes from her hand. She's helpless and trapped and he's smug, knowing that she can't even see his weapon.
He walks closer to me, not looking at me.
He thinks he knows so much.
“Shall we go, Anthy?”
It's not a question.
“Wait,” whispers Utena. She's fighting so hard to keep her voice level. “Don't take Himemiya away, please.”
Touga stares at her and I do the same. She pauses, licks her lips. She's actually trembling.
“She wants to be an ordinary girl again.” Her voice picks up a little, even as it trembles. “I have to do that for her... I don't need the power to bring revolution to the world!”
And what do you think any of that means? I think, clasping my hands in front of my hips. Her eyeline follows the movement, veers over to where Touga is standing. I know the satisfied looks he gives her; I can almost feel his erection from where I'm standing.
“Himemiya needs me!”
“You don't understand anything,” Touga says, his voice harsh. I do not smile, though I always find it amusing when children project their own flaws on others.
“It's true!” cries Utena, her voice shrill. “She said she wants to make more friends! If I leave her, then she'll be all alone again!”
I like being alone, I think. Being alone means I don't have to put up with any of your groping ignorance or your pathetic little games. Speaking of, I wonder if living with Touga will give me access to his sister...
“Anthy?” he asks, and I give him the scant bit of attention that he deserves.
“Yes?”
“You're happy being the Rose Bride, aren't you?”
“I...,” I'm happy knowing that whichever of you wins will suffer, because none of you have the spirit, passion, or purity of purpose to enter the Rose Gate. I'm happy knowing that one of you will end up a broken dying husk, just like Ruka, before my brother and I move on and start this game in a new place. I'm happy because the weather here has been pleasant and it's always nice destroying innocence when its warm. “I'm happy being the Rose Bride.”
Utena stares, her mouth open and eyes wide, her shoulders slumping in on herself. Touga knows exactly what to say and how to say it, what to get me to say to rip her soul to pieces. Every strength she has is being stripped from her, I know, and it's all just a game that he thinks he's a player in.
He's just as much a piece as she is.
She leans back, breath catching in her throat. She's going to cry. Touga is already looking at her like a piece of meat, the same way he looks at everyone else. My brother does such a good job twisting people.
“You don't need friends,” Touga says, slipping his hands into his pocket. He's getting off on watching the girl in front of him crumble. “You like being alone, don't you?”
“Yes, I like being alone,” I repeat.
“Miss Tenjou, don't you see?” Touga asks, so very pleased with himself, “Anthy Himemiya is the bride of whoever wins the duel. While she was engaged to you she was only following your commands.”
It always amazes me, I think, how none of you ever think that whichever one of you wins is the groom. All of you always think those chains only go one way and that's why none of you ever truly win.
“It's not true...,” her voice is breaking now, the tears beginning to flow.
“The Rose Bride answers her master's wishes,” Touga drones on, stepping in front of me and standing straight. The way he flexes makes her eyes look down at his crotch and she flushes, embarrassed and confused. My brother has taught this one well. “The wish to make her a normal girl was merely your own wish.”
“It's not true...”
“Now that you've lost the duel, you have no connection to her,” he says, so certain of himself. He's like every abusee-turned-abuser, looking to isolate, tear apart, inflict the pain he knows too well. “Just forget everything. About her and the duels.”
“It's not true!” Utena screams, shaking her head, staring at me as if she could ever understand. She takes a tentative step forward, her usual athletic grace shattered by the whore that stands to my right. “It's not true, Himemiya! Tell him the truth! That you hate being the Rose Bride! That you want to make friends! Didn't you say that to me?!”
Didn't you purposely lose? I think but do not say.
“Anthy, say your farewells,” he says, sounding bored. It's the perfect tone to eviscerate her, her pain meaning nothing to him in the face of what she must see as my betrayal.
You betrayed me first, I think. His hand, out of her view, slips around my waist and I move closer to him, resting a hand on his chest, pressing my beasts against his side. I feign a smile that neither of them can see is fake.
“Farewell, Miss Tenjou.”
Her eyes go wide at the unfamiliar formality and now she begins to cry, tears flowing freely, the pathetic little fool. She crumbles to her knees, her tight ass resting on her heels, her hands limp at her sides as Touga leads me away. I lean against him.
At least he's warm.
“It's not true,” she whimpers behind us, a whisper that he imagines and I hear clearly. Her lips are trembling, her cheeks flushed. I doubt she can even see clearly. “It's not true...”
We're leaving the arena now, Touga and I, my arms wrapped around his, my head resting on his shoulder. I can feel her heart breaking, her soul slithering loose.
“It's not true!”
I wonder what she'll do now, but I can feel the way Touga's pulse increases and I know he's already thinking of what he's going to do to her next. Her innocence offends him, I know. I even know why.
And I know he's going to use me to punish her for denying him.
“It's not true!!!”
But it is, I think, as Touga, possessive, reaches down to cup my ass. Even if he fucks me tonight, I know he'll be thinking of her.
“Do you know?” comes a voice as we walk down the halls, the chattering shadowy insects that haunt my brother and I. “Do you know?”
“Know what?” I ask, compelled and regretting.
“Do you know when my turn will be?” the shadowed girl asks. I see that she is in a chair, sitting in a reception area empty save for the secretary.
“You're next,” the shadowy secretary answers.
“But it's been an hour,” the first girl whines.
“The doctor is with another patient,” the secretary says, curt.
“There's no one else here.”
“The doctor will be with you shortly.”
There's never anyone else here, but I'm always waiting.”
“Then maybe you should go to a different doctor,” I murmur.
“What was that?” Touga asks. I look up at him and smile. He is going to fuck me later, I see, and he is going to think of Utena while doing it. It won't be the first time someone has used this body as a masturbatory aid.
It won't be the first time or the last.
*
Shadow girls. Woo~! I forgot to put them in the first chapter but they'll be haunting things from here on in because I'm a massive Utena nerd. I'm going to do one more chapter of mostly plot and setting and then we'll get to the sort of smut I write. Questions? Comments? Leave a review and I'll answer it over at http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/topic/36931-metroid-the-bergman-affair-feedback-comments-and-workshopping/?page=15. Thanks for reading and I'll be back soonish.
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For Love, Perhaps