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Awakening	By : Demonic_Host Category: Pokemon > General Views: 19514 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever, owned anything related to rights to Pokemon nor do I make money off of my fanfiction.

Chapter List
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A/N: Well the job searching isn't going very well. I am either overqualified with my psychology and anthropology AB/BA...or under, as I don't have certain certificates nor an MA. I do have one job that's seasonal which I just never quit just incase I couldn't find a more professional job but I really wish I could get into office-like work. I want a career which I can pour my soul into, not just a job. Y.Y

Fair warning, the conversation that takes place may make some people uncomfortable.

Heartfelt Interference
Chapter Twenty
Age Seventeen

Before you were even aware of what was going on around you, you were aware that something was nudging you. And it was an incessant sort of nudging. You tried to turn over, exposing your back to what had been bothering you instead, but you didn't have the type of luck that made it so you were unbothered. Whatever it was which was nudging you was persistent. And it had the ability to multiply because now you were being poked by both sides. This time you tried to swat it away but all you ended up doing was somehow pushing what was poking you up your loose shirt.

Frustrated, you turned around and glared at the being responsible for this irritation. No words came out of your mouth, nor sound, for the simple fact that you didn't want to wake Nox or Ember up. It was, after all, the middle of the day and because of your schedule they'd been on a nocturnal one as well. Which worked for Nox for obvious reasons but it hadn't been the best situation for you, Rorsh, or Ember. Apparently, however, Rorsh had a reason to be up after only five hours of sleep. One that included waking you up in the most obnoxious way yet. Okay, so maybe he hadn't gone the whole nine yards with the cover and water tricks but he had been poking you with throw pillows from the living room couch.

Stupid psychic abilities.

His indigo eyes narrowed on your form as yours narrowed on him. It was a slight stand off until he backed up and headed towards your door. The doorknob turned as his little jewel glowed, his powers for all intents and purposes acting like the human hands which he didn't have. Thank the stars for that; you didn't want to imagine how he'd have been able to act if he was a more humanoid pokemon.

In you sleepy, contemplative state you didn't get up right away to follow him. Which was apparently what he'd been wanting. Part of you knew that, the other part was just wondering why you had to be awake. Rorsh didn't even poke his head back up as you felt yourself being lifted out of bed by telekinetic energy. You squeezed your eyes and jaw closed out of frustration; that bed had been warm and comfy. He set you down very carefully by your door so you could grab your robe on the way out. After that it was up to you to follow him. When you stepped outside the first thing that greeted you was unyielding levels of sunlight. After spending so much time being awake at night the amount of sun being thrown at you was blinding.

You shielded your eyes and almost stepped back inside. But you held it out, knowing that your eyes would adjust. Eventually. It took longer than you would have liked for that to happen but once it did you remembered to tie off your robe. Despite the perspiration worthy heat you also knew that what you'd worn to bed wouldn't be entirely appropriate to go outside in. At least not in an area that was populated with humans. Or...well...Rorsh (and Nox) at this point; not without at least a sheet to cover you up.

It took you another moment to find where Rorsh had gone. You caught sight of his tail turning around a tree, reflecting silver when it caught the light in just the right way. He led you through the trees and the property. And despite the fact that you were bare footed you kept up without pausing. The area he'd lead you through was mostly soft grass which was cared for by the pokemon. The grass slowly died down as you got closer to the lake where you'd camped out not too long ago. The same area where Rorsh had turned back up. Fear gripped your heart and it became more difficult to maintain your calm. Why was he leading you out here? Was it because he wanted to say goodbye? There was definitely a sense of finality in the air that made you feel uneasy.

Rorsh stopped underneath one of the trees. Thankfully it was still in the shaded area so you were able to see everything clearly as you sat down by the roots with Rorsh beside you. Both you and he continued to look over the lake. There was an awkward silence that hung in the air, a thick sort of tension. You could practically feel the muscles of his legs and tail quivering as Rorsh sat up tall and proud. His body was as full of tension just like yours was.

"I wanted to talk. Alone."

Well that much you had guessed. It had been pretty obvious considering he'd woken you up after five hours of sleep. Not to mention he'd pulled you out of bed and lead you across some land to sit down by the lake. The fact that he wanted to talk alone was the most obvious thing of the year.

"What did you need to talk about?"

"What happened while I was away."

Uneasily you shifted on the thin grass, your leg brushing up against a root which had broken through the top layer of soil. You weren't sure why Rorsh kept bringing this up. As far as you were concerned it was probably better if he didn't keep reminding you about what he learned why he was away. Although you were intrigued with his reasoning about why he went away. He had, after all, introduced you to the idea that you weren't normal and it was for the sake of that which he'd gone away.

"I make you uncomfortable now."

You had never cared for lying, nor had he. Which was probably why he'd pointed that out without even looking away from the magikarp in the lake which had decided to squirt some water upwards. Though the poor thing looked completely stunned when the water fell back and hit them in the face.

"Yes."

"Is it because I wanted to take care of you?" That sentiment was sweet but it was still a reminder of the way he thought he should accomplish that.

"It's because you thought that meant you needed to have sex with me," you said, swallowing down whatever it was that wanted to make you stand up and walk away.

You were seventeen years old, nearly an adult, and you had to keep reminding yourself of that. In less than a year you'd pretty much be considered an adult. Soon after that you'd only have a year to choose which type of pokemon you wanted to focus on for your career. So basically life was running at you full speed and you knew you needed to be ready to receive it. If that meant that you needed to get used to talking about awkward situations, which you had a feeling you were going to have to, then that's what you had to do. Besides, last time a misunderstanding happened between you and Rorsh you had lost him for a long time. Despite everything that had gone on that wasn't something that you wanted to have happen again.

"According to you, it's only natural to want to have sex," he tossed your own reasoning back at you.

For a moment you sat there, perplexed on how to answer him. Your chest tightened as you felt a small bundle of anxiety travel through your body. He wasn't wrong but he certainly didn't feel right to you either. How could you guide him to the right answer if you didn't even know what that was anyways?

"It's natural for humans. I've never heard of it being natural for pokemon."

"It's natural for pokemon too."

Rorsh's voice was quiet, almost like it had been a hidden whisper. You heard him well enough but at the same time you didn't understand. More than likely it was the fact that you didn't want to understand him. You wanted to live in a world that was black and white but he was making that very hard. Especially considering the fact that it wasn't just him so you couldn't exactly write this off as him being an exception to the rule. You tightened up, crossing your arms tighter as you tried not to imagine the implication of that. Of course you knew that some form of sex had to happen for pokemon to procreate. But considering the fact that no human had born witness to such an event, at least none that had ever reported or documented anything, then it didn't feel quite the same. Not to mention there were just combination of pokemon that you didn't want to know how it happened. Like anything Skitty and Wailord related.

"It's natural, just not quite as often. Nor as displayed."

"That much I know," you finally responded to him.

"But do you know why?" Rorsh challenged you, finally turning to look at you even if it was only through the side of his eyes.

You clenched your jaw and swallowed. You could do this - you could have this conversation to clear out the air. And when it was over things would be okay again. Or at the very least you could look back at it and be proud that you'd not run away. That you could be the bigger person at all times.

"No, I don't know why."

"We need to feel affection first. And then we let our bodies get prepared based on our female partner."

You could have asked what he meant by prepared but you had a feeling you already knew. The image of what lay between Nox's and Rorsh's legs that night had been burned into your head. You had to admit, if only to yourself, that you were curious about it simply because no other human seemed to know. But at the same time you really did not want to know because that could only make this whole thing more awkward. Then again, you had a feeling it was going to get worse from here.

"Human males have a body which is ready all the time."

"Not all the time," you mumbled.

After all, you did know a little from the sex education books. It was textbook knowledge about blood flow and all of that but still, it was better than knowing nothing.

"They are capable of being ready to mate all the time...I was not. But I changed that while the scientists studied my abilities."

This time it was you turn to look at him. Only you turned your head and not just your eyes. Rorsh had already moved his eyes back towards the lake so there wasn't an awkward meeting or anything like that. Which meant that it was less awkward when your mouth opened up a little bit. This was something you hadn't heard about.

"I wanted to grow my psychic abilities so that I could be more human like. Apparently my abilities were already more pronounced and diverse than any other psychic type pokemon that the lab had studied."

"Which lab?"

Instead of answering right away, Rorsh just continued to stare across the lake. It clicked in the back of your head somehow. He meant the scientists up at Weather Institute. That wasn't very far away. If he wanted to he could have checked up on you often. And considering those dreams you had while he was gone...well, that had obviously happened.

"While I learned how to take the form of a human man inside of people's heads, they studied my abilities. After a lot of tests and a lot of baffled machines it was decided that perhaps there was something different with me in particular," Rorsh continued to talk, the look in his eyes far away.

You had the urge to hug him. There was something in his tone that sounded off. Like he had removed himself as a living being from the situation. If it had been that bad of a place to be, if he'd been put under pressures that he couldn't handle, then why had he stayed? Why hadn't he come back to you? Had you really made it that hard for him to stay around that he'd rather be amongst strangers?

"It got to the point where they were convinced that the pokeballs could pick up on the data that they were missing. So everytime I tried to rest, someone tried to capture me. I couldn't allow that to happen. If they captured me I knew I would never be able to return here, to you."

"Why did you stay? Why didn't you just come home?" You asked, no longer ashamed to admit that he had your full attention.

"Because I wanted to know what was different about me. And I wanted to make sure that when I came back that I was ready to handle everything."

Okay, the territory was getting a little shaky again. You weren't going to press him about his reasoning Still, you couldn't believe that he let himself get stuck in that kind of situation. You had never had to worry about such a thing but you had a vague idea that always feeling threatened when trying to rest was a bad way to live. In fact, you were pretty sure that's one way to make people and pokemon alike go insane.

"I needed their resources to find out the extent of my abilities. They wanted to know if there was something fundamentally altered in my genetics. So I made a deal with them."

You got a shiver of dread running down your spine. Considering the start of the conversation you suddenly had an idea of what kind of deal he had made.

"If I wasn't eating or sleeping, I was breeding."

You grimaced. That did not sound like a fun life. Even with the whole pleasure aspect that was supposed to go on, you had to imagine that only doing that during your waking hours would sour the experience. But if that was the case then why was it the first thing Rorsh went to when he was given the opportunity?

"Eventually, I figured out what was different about me. But it wasn't because of the scientists' technology. It was my own realization."

"What was it?" you asked quietly, unconsciously shifting your body so that he was sitting in front of you instead of sitting beside you.

"Every day I would imagine you. I would remember how it felt to have you surround me. How your fingers used to comb through my fur. Every time I needed to mate I would imagine something different, remember something different. Eventually I could be ready to mate within a minute or two. And that's when I realized that it wasn't anything about me that made me different from other espeons...it was you."

Okay, awkward and slightly filled with a guilt trip. You already felt like shit over the fact that he had up and left you all the time ago. Now he was telling you that it was your fault that he was different. Sure there wasn't an angry tone or anything but you still felt like there could have been. That despite the fact that Rorsh actually sounded rather pleased that he was still somehow mad at you. How could he not be? If it was something about you that made him different from his fellow pokemon then why wouldn't he be mad?

"Your strength made me stronger. Every time I basked in your touch, in everything that makes you what you are...I got a little stronger. And I evolved beyond the expected amount. Being with you, loving you, made me strong because you are tied to everything that makes someone alive and I am bound to you."

"I…"

You had no idea what to say. There was so much to go through that you felt like it was going to take a while just to understand what he was saying. Rorsh didn't seem to be in much of a rush. In fact he looked quite comfortable where he was. The tension had slowly faded from his body as he got through his story. Meanwhile you became acutely aware that you had started to sweat, and that the robe you had on wasn't helping that matter. You itched to take it off but you really did need to think about other things that didn't revolving about what sort of image you'd be putting into Rorsh's mind. It was so messed up that you even had to worry about that anyways…

"This is why I don't understand why you feel wronged," Rorsh started back up, turning his head so that he could make complete eye contact with you. "Before I left you welcomed me inside your mind. Max distracted you, sure, but you never purposefully kept me out. You shared everything with me. You never forbade me from reaching out to you."

He had a point. You could admit that. Even though you could admit it there still seemed to be something different about what he used to do before he left and what he had done to you when he got back. With his ignorance of them, he'd made you confront just about every sexual taboo you'd ever picked up on. There was the whole authority figure issue and the bestiality one. Neither of which you really wanted to talk about. You might be trying to be the bigger person here so you could be an adult but even you had your limits. Those were two things that you just weren't ready to explore. And you weren't sure if you would ever be. Because seriously - what would happen if you were? And with that, you had no words. You face felt like it was just a few questions away from bursting. Funny how embarrassment can set in so quickly and make it so hard to think.

"I will help your career however I can. I will breed with whatever pokemon you want me to, if that's what you need me to do. I will help you raise whatever pokemon you need. But please don't treat me like I'm a mindless creature."

Instantly the words rose to your mouth and you spewed them out. "When have I ever treated you like that?"

They were slightly accusatory. You felt hurt by the mere suggestion that you'd been cruel to him. That you'd forgotten that he was a living being.

"Stop treating me like it's wrong to love like a human loves as though I am incapable of it. I am. And until you realized that it was me in your dreams, I know you enjoyed them. Which means that you're rejecting me based on what I am rather than who I am. It is not my fault that our bodies are different. If I could change that, I would. But I can't."

Those words which had so quickly sprung up to your defense earlier were gone. You stared at him, your eyes darting all over his face. Despite the fact that he was right you still couldn't help but feel wrong about the situation. He was right about it being based on the what he was rather than who as well, though that last part could be brought into question because of the whole consent issue. Then again, he was right earlier. You had never told him not to go into your mind until that night. He had no idea that you didn't want him in there, not really. And you wished that he wasn't making so much sense because even if he won on all these points you knew you could never accept his truth. Because accepting it would mean you were ready to change your morals. You weren't ready to do that - pokemon and humans...you couldn't. You'd never actually had sex before and he was trying to persuade you into doing it with him - a pokemon. Damn him. You knew you were judging based on what instead of who but did that make you a horrible person? Or did the fact that he was trying change your mind make him the bad person?

"I can't...it's just…" you really were at a loss for words.

How can you put into words everything you felt right now? You could barely comprehend everything that swirled through you like one giant galaxy. You were hurt that he had left. You were curious about everything that he'd said. You were happy that he'd come back. You were afraid of what he put himself through. You were worried about what your parents would say, what everyone would say. You were frustrated that you couldn't come up with a good counter argument. You were upset that you even needed a counter argument in the first place. You were in pain for him, because he clearly had been dealing with some mental angst. And you were a little bit upset over the fact that he couldn't be human so you could see if it really was his body holding you back. Then there was the disgust that you questioned if it was his body that was wrong - of course it was. But ooh, look, you were angry about the fact that you were disgusted about his body because it was his not yours and you weren't in any position to judge him. All the while you were touched by the fact that he trusted you enough to talk about all of this. Especially considering the fact that it was all at once.

"I never asked you to change for me," was the singular statement that you found yourself agreeing with wholeheartedly.

"I haven't changed."

"You decided to pick a human form that you knew I'd like."

He almost seemed amused by that if it wasn't the fact that he was very serious and somber. "The body that formed is a reflection of me...not a projection entirely just for you. You liking how I look as a human was a happy coincidence."

Well that was kind of embarrassing. You had liked how he looked. And you had liked how it had felt to be touched a lot more; you'd experienced that a long time before you saw how he looked. Considering that this metamorphosis was brought on because of his desire to keep you, you'd made the mistake of thinking he'd shaped his mental body to be something that he thought would do that. You hadn't even considered that's how Rorsh could have seen himself as a human. And that egocentrism you'd just stumbled into was embarrassing.

"Pokemon and humans aren't supposed to have that kind of relationship."

"Who says?"

"Everyone."

Rorsh gave you a leveling, almost dismissive look. "You would be surprised by the reality of this world."

"What?" you questioned before you could stop yourself.

"I am not the first pokemon to love a human. You might have been the first one to do it in your dreams but you would not be the first human to engage in sex with a pokemon."

Your mouth fell open. What...the...heck? He looked almost pleased over the fact that you were once again stunned speechless.

"Humans all over the world engage in sexual intercourse with pokemon. There are newspapers hint at what happens in your world only because the truth is censored out by the government given that people half of your age can pick them up to read. If you don't believe me, look it up."

That was definitely not something you were ready to do. If he was right...who knows what you'd see?

"But how would that —" Nope, you couldn't ask it.

You were having a hard time wrapping your head around everything that Rorsh had already told you. There was a lot to take in. From what had happend to him at the lab that was supposed to study weather all the way down to the fact that apparently humans and pokemon got it on all the time. Oh, then there was that whole thing where he put you through the ringer about not believing that he deserved to be treated like a sentient being. There was so much going on in your head and in your heart that some of it was apparently getting stored through the rest of your body. Your stomach felt like it was in knots and your legs felt like you should be getting up and doing something with them. Like running. Or at least walking. But no, no, you needed to sit this out. You needed to sort through all of this and understand what was going on with your life. It didn't help that your curiosity, which was normally a good thing to have as a breeder, was a few stages ahead of your head.

"How would that even work?"

...that was not supposed to pass your lips. That wasn't even supposed to be asked, or so you kept beating yourself over the head with it. You had enough to try and think about as it was you did not need any more! Apparently the overload had given your curiosity the change it needed to take control of your vocal cords.

"I told you that we prepare our body based on the female. I could show you if I could see yo--"

"No! No, I'm fine, please don't," your reasonable side was able to grab ahold of your mouth before your curious nature got the better of you. It did take a few shakes of the head to set in though...it had been a really close battle.

"If it's a natural thing then why are you so embarrassed?"

Apparently modesty was something that had been lost to him in all forms. You closed your eyes and counted backwards, knowing that you needed to calm down if you ever had hopes of going back home. There was no way you could even face your mom and dad with the level of embarrassment you currently felt. They'd ask what was wrong and you'd have no answer for them. At least not one you'd want to give. What could you tell them - that Rorsh had almost pulled the whole 'show you mine if you show me yours' bit? Nope, you weren't doing that. And what if he was lying about it being common? What if he wasn't?

Which one would be worse?

"Oh, and by the way...I have someone coming by and dropping off an egg today."

Oh thank the stars, a safer topic.

Wait…

"What?"

"There is an egg coming today to be dropped off. It will be another eevee. After all the breeding I decided that I wanted to raise a child with you. So I asked last of my breeding partners if I could raise the child. They and their human said yes. It should be here before sunset."

Which meant that he mated with an eevee, one of the eevolutions, or a ditto. As you nodded, you couldn't help but feel grateful that the topic had been changed rather abruptly. You could actually deal with hatching an egg and raising a pokemon. That was the safe zone. The fact that he specifically wanted to play mother and father with you notwithstanding because apparently it wasn't really play to him.
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Awakening