What is this life?

What is this Life?

Chapter 21

"Suguru, how many times have you told me you love K-san?" It’s four o’clock in the afternoon and the conversation has been going on for over an hour. Tatsuha keeps asking the same questions over and over. "What do you have against marriage?"

Suguru throws his arms up in the air. "What difference does it make to you if I get married or not? It's not like I really have a choice, now is it? I can't get married here in Japan. It's illegal."

“Calm down Su-chan. Will you let me finish what I’m saying?” Tatsuha’s been trying to talk some sense into his best friend for over an hour. “I heard Sakuma-san saying that in America you can get married and it’s legal.”

“That’s in America, not Japan. I’m Ja-pa-nese.” Suguru runs his hands behind his neck and brings his hands back in front of them clasping them. “It won’t be legal. It’s hopeless.”

Tatsuha grabs Suguru by the shoulders and forces him to look into his face. “Read my lips. K-san isn’t Japanese. He’s A-mer-i-can. If you marry him in America, it’s legal. He’s not a Japanese citizen, never has been. So if you get married, the Japanese government has to recognize an American wed to a Japanese person as being MARRIED!” Tatsuha hopes that it’s finally sinking in.

Suguru breaks the hold, stomps over to a nearby chair and plops down. He looks up with a certain amount of hope in his eyes. “Are you sure about this, Tats? It doesn’t sound quite right to me.”

“That’s because you see everything as a hopeless situation. Don’t you think that K-san has already figured this out?” Tatsuha drives the point home. “He wouldn’t ask you to marry him if it isn’t legal. He knows it will work.”

Suguru looks at Tatsuha looking for more reassuance. He thinks about the information he has just been given. K-san may know it can work. “Why didn’t he explain it to me this way before? If he knows the marriage will be legal, he should tell me.”

“Well, did you ever give him a chance to explain how it works before you cut him off? You have a tendency to talk over someone, you know.” Tatsuha stares at Suguru who seems to be not paying attention again. He walks over and uses his knuckles to tap on Suguru’s head. “Su-chan, did you hear me?”

Suguru looks up at Tatsuha and grabs his wrist before he can hit him again. “I hear you. I’m just thinking. That’s all.” He gets out of the chair and heads for the door. “I need to go. Thanks, Tats-chan.”

Tatsuha watches Suguru leave the room and hears him walking down the hallway. Tatsuha pulls out his cell phone and hits the speed dial. When the call is answered he says, “Sakuma-san, I think it worked. Keep your fingers crossed, you may have a wedding to help plan soon.” He disconnects the call and goes back to his duties running the household.


Suguru makes his way to his quarters. He goes in and sits on his bed. Next to the bed is a three-drawer nightstand. He sits and looks at the nightstand, reaches for the top drawer and withdraws hand. He does this several times before he finally opens the drawer and pulls out a dark red velvet box. He takes a deep breath and opens it. He sighs as he pulls out the gold band. The ring is encrusted with yellow diamonds circling a three carat emerald. Suguru turns the ring in his hand and looks at the inscription, ‘You will always guard my heart.’ Suguru’s had the ring for quite some time now, he just didn’t know the right time to give it to K. It was never meant to be more than a hope-filled promise of love. He puts the ring back in the case and closes the lid. He places the ring on the top of the nightstand and reaches for his cell phone. He picks it up and hits the speed dial. After four rings, there’s an answer. “K-san, I need to see you. Meet me at the inn in one hour.” He doesn’t wait for a reply, he hangs up. He knows K will be there. He picks up the velvet box and places it in his pocket. He leaves the room to go meet his lover.


K registers at the desk of their favorite inn. He gets the room key, number seven, same as always. It just wouldn’t be their place if they didn’t have the same room. Visions of the clandestine encounters dance in his head as he makes his way up the stairs. He walks down the same hall he and Suguru have walked countless times. It’s almost automatic that he walks, inserts the key, opens the door and goes in to wait for his lover. It’s here that they first declared their love for one another, and the place that K suggested they get married. He walks over to the featherbed and sits down. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a white box. He opens it and turns it upside down depositing a black velvet case into his hand. He puts the box on the bed and opens the case. Inside is a gold ring with tiny emeralds cascading away from a two carat canary-diamond. He pulls out the ring and huffs his breath on it and rubs it against his shirt. He wants the stones to sparkle and the gold to shine. He looks at the job he did polishing the ring. He holds the ring by the rim and looks at the inscription ’I will always protect your heart.’ K places the ring back in the case. Before he closes the lid the door to the room opens.

Suguru stands there staring at his lover sitting on the bed with the open ring case. He enters the room, closes the door and walks over to K. He stands in front of the blond and gazes down at the ring. “Is that for me?”

K closes the case and puts it next to the white box on the bed with one hand. With the other hand he reaches out and wraps his arm around Suguru’s waist and pulls him close. “It depends on a couple of things.”

Suguru steps in as close as possible and wraps his arms around K’s neck. He leans in and places a passionate kiss on K’s soft lips. Once he has K’s full attention, he breaks the kiss and smiles. “What things?”

K is a bit stunned. He’s just getting into the kiss when Suguru pulls away. “Things we need to discuss. Come sit by me, please.” He takes Suguru’s hand and guides him to sit on the bed, on the opposite side from where the boxes are placed. He smiles and his whole face seems to shine. “First, tell me why you wanted to see me so badly.”

Suguru is mesmerized by the beauty of the man sitting next to him. His trance is broken when he hears his name being called. He blinks a couple of times and is finally able to speak. “Is it true that we can get married if we go to America?”

“That’s what my sources told me. I called the American Embassy here Tokyo. Since I am still an American citizen, it’s my right to get married in the state I normally reside in. The last place I registered to vote was Massachusetts and gay marriage is legal there.” K looks at Suguru to see if there is any reaction to the news. “Does that mean you might want to get married there?”

Suguru gazes into K’s gorgeous eyes and sees a glint of hope shining there. He takes K’s left hand as he slides off the bed and kneels on the floor on one knee. He takes the velvet box from his pocket and opens it with the other hand. He looks up into the face of his lover and presents the ring. As K takes the ring, Suguru says, “K-san, would you do me the honor of marrying me? It would make me the happiest man in Japan.”

K holds the ring between his thumb and index finger and looks at it. “It’s beautiful Suguru.” He moves his eyes from the ring to Suguru’s face, “And so are you. Yes, I will marry you.”

Suguru takes the ring from K and places it on the ring finger of his left hand. He leans in and kisses the ring, reciting the words inscribed insides, “You will always guard my heart. I love you K.”

A silent tear falls down K’s cheek as Suguru proclaims his love. It’s not a tear of sadness but a tear of sheer joy. He sniffs back his other forming tears and without taking his eyes off Suguru reaches over and picks up the velvet case lying next to him on the bed. He opens it with his thumb and turns the box towards Suguru. With a cracked voice he asks, “Would you also do me the honor of becoming my husband?”

Suguru looks at the ring for the second time in fifteen minutes. This time he takes the ring from the case and holds it to his own left hand. Just before he slips it on his left hand ring finger, he reads the inscription. The similarities between the two rings and inscriptions are not lost to him. Emeralds and yellow diamonds, one claiming to protect a heart, the next claiming that heart is already entrusted to the other person. Suguru slips the ring on his hand and runs his fingers over the band while gazing at it. “It’s beautiful K, just like you.”

K reaches down and takes Suguru’s hands in his own. He gives a slight tug indicating he wants Suguru to get up. He pulls Suguru into his muscular arms and holds him close. He rests his head on Suguru’s shoulder and sighs. The pair embraces for quite some time before Suguru pulls back slightly so he can see K’s face. K’s eyes are closed but he’s far from asleep. K’s extremely happy and satisfied to stay in the arms of the man with whom he will soon be allowed to spend the rest of his life.

Suguru leans in for another deep kiss. He eases K back onto the bed until K is lying down and Suguru is lying on top of him. They share hugs and kisses, blocking out everyone and everything else. This is their moment. As the sun sets in the late afternoon, the newly engaged couple makes love. This time it’s not in the heat of lusty passion as their previous trysts have been. This is a different kind of passion. It’s filled with love and sharing. The kind of love that only comes when two are becoming one.


Meanwhile, back at the new studio, Ryuichi, Hiro and Shuichi are rejoicing at the news. Tatsuha has just informed them that Suguru has left, telling Tatsuha not to expect him back till morning. That can only mean one thing. The marriage proposal is being accepted and the newly engaged couple is going to be celebrating in their own private hideaway. Smiles abound as the trio form a group hug, hopping up and down like little children that just learned they’re going to Disney World (Tokyo). Ryuichi is beaming. “It looks like the plan is going well. I guess we can count on Suguru and K-san being out of the way for several months. That makes our lives a lot easier.”

Hiro and Shuichi stop bouncing and look at Ryuichi. Hiro loses some of his jubilance and asks, “What do we do next? We can’t make Seguchi-sama disappear too. How are we going to pull off the rest of your plan without him catching wind of it?”

Shuichi’s heart falls heavy in his chest. “It’s great that K-san and Suguru-san are getting married, but Hiro’s right. How can we keep Seguchi-sama from finding out the real reason this studio was redesigned? You already told him you are going to be producing your own records here but you haven’t got anything to record. He’s going to want to hear that song you were promising is in the works.”

Ryuichi refuses to be brought down. He already thought this through before any plans were put into motion. “That’s easy. You two are going to write the song for me. After all, you did tell me you had a band and wrote songs before. So, write me a love song.”

Hiro can’t believe his ears. Ryuichi expects them to write a song to be recorded? “Um, Sir, how are we supposed to do that? What kind of love song can we write for you?”

Ryuichi looks at Hiro with glee still evident in his blue eyes. “Write about the love we share. It will be the biggest hit since Sleepless Beauty. “

Shuichi faints. Hiro stands there with his mouth hanging open. They are expected to write a song to rival the best song to ever be recorded in modern Japanese music history. Hiro shakes his head, trying to shake the onset of a headache. It’s going to be a very long and difficult couple of weeks!