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How to Save a Life	By : saxonjesus Category: +. to F > D. Gray Man Views: 4511 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: We own nothing. The D. Gray-verse is only our playground, we make no profit from our littlle adventures.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
Chapter 21--Friend or Foe?

“For he who lives more lives than one: More deaths than one must die.”

---Oscar Wilde

Elizabeth Marie Wellington is the oldest daughter of Senator Richard Wellington and his wife, the world-renowned opera singer, Louise Fortescue. They currently live in a 15,000 square foot mansion near the ocean, exactly 32.4 miles northeast of Boston, armed with a small army of bodyguards and security cameras. Their land includes its own private beach, carved out jaggedly across public access. Estimated cost ranges in the millions.

Senator Wellington is known in many circles due to his long career in Intelligence Services to his country. He was a marine, honorably discharged after suffering a critical blow to his left knee at the age of 23, which if one looks, can still be seen to be bothering him--a weakness to exploit if ever the need should arise. The senator was courted by the CIA soon after leaving the hospital, in hopes that they could glean what information they could from him, as he was the sole survivor of some classified field mission (files as yet unaccessed) in some undisclosed African nation (now known to me as Somalia). The CIA saw great potential in the now-senator, keeping him under their employ for ten years, until November 21, 1990, when he up and left the Agency, without so much as a word to anyone save for his letter of resignation (see appendix A for copy).

Wellington dropped off the map for a few months after that, and his activities of that period are as yet unknown. He resurfaced, married and with a child, in April, almost exactly a year before the congressional elections of 1992. He was elected in a landslide victory against the congressman from his district and made a name for himself by coining early legislation for the Clinton Administration. Wellington was elected to his seat in the Senate in 1994. During his campaign, the opposition began a smear campaign that included the date of his marriage to Ms. Fortescue (October 23, 1991) and the birthdate of their daughter, born some five months later in an undisclosed location. Despite the attack to his flaking “morality,” Wellington won the seat and has held it since.

After the terrorist attacks in 2001, Senator Wellington volunteered to be a part of a secret Senate committee that was investigating the soon-to-be-formed Department of Homeland Security’s operations before and following the attack. The proceedings were never recorded and all evidence of the committee’s actions were well hidden. The only record of its existence were from the Bookman present, but due to unforeseen circumstances, his contract was terminated a few months after the official declaration of war. His records were logged as missing soon after that.

My current mission, as given to me by my superior within my organization, is to observe and record the events that are playing out within the Wellington Family--the sudden spike in their hired security services and the rumored (now confirmed) installation of a high security vault inside the Senator’s office, as well as the sudden removal of the two younger daughters from their private Christan Academy to a boarding school in the next town over--and if possible, obtain some information about the committee, including information as to why the Central Intelligence Agency has once again contacted the Senator.

I have quickly determined that my assignment to this particular case is due to the similarities in age between Ms. Elizabeth Wellington and myself. It was, however, good fortune that landed me in the same dormitory as her, a simple fact that has made getting close to her much easier than anticipated. In the following entries, find my reorganized logs covering each event from first contact with the girl to my most enlightening visit to the mansion prior to the Wellington family’s winter retreat to Italy.

Jason flipped through his newly organized binder and settled on a blank page, where he began to write anew.

01/08/2010

Returned to school today. After a thorough search, I concluded that no one had been into the room since my departure. The roommate had not yet returned. I locked the door and made the usual journey to Ms. Elizabeth’s first-floor room. I had scarcely knocked when she opened the door. It was simple to smile at her as she went on about her trip to Italy. I questioned her briefly on the health of her family, focusing imperceptibly on her father. He is experiencing heart troubles. I have a requisition form to fill out after this entry in order to receive an updated copy of his medical file. His knee, too, is giving him trouble, and while in Italy, he took to walking with a cane--the wooden one with the carved wolf head that they keep “for decoration” in the drawing room near the fireplace. It belonged to his father before he passed.

Though it might be insignificant at the moment, it is important to note that Ms. Elizabeth’s younger sister (the middle child), Ms. Virginia Wellington, is suffering from a light case of influenza, which has caused her much nausea and occasional vomiting.

Unfortunately, the topic was changed to Ms. Elizabeth’s winter “troubles,” including three escapades with three different Italians and a pregnancy test. More updates to come as the situation progresses. The positive result on the test has ensured any number of scandals for her father, especially as he sets his sights on the upcoming 2012 election. Though no decision has been made in the home as yet, I have heard from Ms. Elizabeth that her parents continue to discuss it, often asking their daughters for their opinions. Ms. Elizabeth is indifferent to the political nature of her family, though I suspect she wishes to be anywhere from home, given that her mother is terribly oppressive. And the issue of her pregnancy leaves her striving to be away from those who understand the symptoms of her “influenza” that she must have “caught from her sister,” as she relayed her excuse to me. Ms. Virginia and the youngest sister, Ms. Hayley, both seem enchanted with the idea of living in the White House, which seems to be a source of frustration for Ms. Elizabeth.

After assuring Ms. Elizabeth that I would accompany her (in my duties as “best friend”) to a Planned Parenthood office for a preliminary appointment, we headed to Yuu and the Failure’s room. Though I suppose it might be trite and almost emotional of me to call “Lavi” this, the fact remains that he has failed in his capacity as Bookman’s heir, although the attempts of his Master to eliminate him have been pathetic at best. Even the hired goons could not finish the Failure off. Regarding the Failure’s Master, I have not seen him around at all today. Even after the point at which the Failure renounced all ties to this organization, the Master was around the dormitory at nearly every hour, only leaving during the solid stretches that Lavi had class, most likely for some sleep. Due to the Failure’s continued state of living and the Master’s absence, I am assuming for the time being that the Master has either failed in his role to eliminate any security risks or been killed by the Failure (or Yuu, who is a much stronger fighter, as I have observed thus far).

Their pitiable relationship seems to be going along fairly intimately. Yuu’s post-traumatic stress seems to be lessening, possibly due to more aggressive counseling or due to some inexplicable charm of the Failure. I counted 34 touches between the two in the small period of time that Ms. Elizabeth and I sat in discourse with them. I see less fluctuation in the Failure’s mental stability. It is with such irony that I see the obvious happiness on him, for he will be dead soon enough, an event that will cause much emotional agony in Yuu, possibly undoing his emotional progress since the beginning of last semester. From an objective standpoint, this relationship seems to have an oddly soothing effect on the both of them.

The conversation between the four of us went well, though I very nearly slipped when the topic switched to politics. I’ve allowed myself too few hours of sleep and must rest before seeing the Failure again. Although I see little threat in him, he was also trained (somewhat inadequately) to be a Bookman and could have seen the slip for what it was, despite my easy recovery. It is possible--in fact, highly probable--that he will voice his fears to Yuu, but he won’t tell anyone else. Yuu is much more sensible than the Failure, and he will naturally claim my side on this one, due to the Failure’s probable paranoia (I have heard that attempted homicide can do that to the potential victim). As long as I watch my speech and actions carefully, preventing any other slip, I should be perfectly safe. Unlike the Failure, my persona is near flawless and will continue to be so until none of the flaws can be seen. He never was as cut out for this job as I am--as evidenced by his failure (and his Master’s) to notice me as anything but that mousy kid who lives down the hall.

Jason sighed and leaned back in his chair. His back cracked six times, and his shoulders went as he extended his arms out to his sides. He allowed his head to fall backward. Then, finishing his stretch, he closed the binder and put it in his lockable bottom drawer. He checked the lock, then quietly changed into his pajamas so as not to wake the roommate, who was snoring as usual. He put in his earplugs to drown out the abominable sound and then switched off the lamp. He took the three steps to the right that it took to get to his bed, where he lay down and turned onto his side.

As exhausted as he was, sleep did not come easily. He turned over exactly forty times before he attempted to count sheep. He made it to three before he drove both fists into the mattress, growling louder than he should have. His mind reeled, spun round and round itself like a never-ending whirlpool. He thought of infinity, of the snake eating its tail, and gazed at the ceiling’s whorling pattern that followed the motion of his thoughts. But eventually sleep came, the exhaustion finally taking its toll, and he awoke for class early the next day feeling anything but refreshed.

He dressed with a scowl on his face, nearly putting his jeans on backwards again. After packing up his things into his bookbag, including a notebook he reserved for recording important goings-on, he left the room. He returned a moment later, the key jingling around the lock as his shaking hand attempted to fit it in. He slipped on his tennis shoes and then left the room again. Although it was his job to be fully aware at any time, Jason found mornings to be his one weakness. He bumped into two girls on his way to the exit. As he reached the door, he passed the wall of mailboxes. He gave a cursory glance at his own and saw a letter inside.

The letter bore the official seal embossed on the back right corner. It tore in half as he ripped one side off the envelope. Inside were three loose leaves of paper, each bearing the seal stamped in the bottom right next to the page marker. He read through them quickly as he walked to the bus stop. It was a simple enough assignment, and he was allowed several weeks to plan it out, thus eliminating any room for error.

Excellent.

---

January 16

“Come on Lavi, everyone’s doing it!” Lizzie insisted as she leaned over his shoulder. He was staring at the sign-in page for Facebook.

“I still don’t see why this is important. Why would I want to tell people what I’m doing? It seems kind of pointless.”

“Because then we can get ahold of you easier, to see if you want to hang out.”

“Couldn’t you just come here? It's not like I go anywhere else except to class.”

“Get with the times, Lavi. You’re such an old man. It’ll give the people who want to be your friend a chance to find you.”

He thought about it for a minute. The idea of people “finding” him was a bit frightening. But it had been difficult having group projects last semester and no other way besides email to contact the other members. And Lenalee had been bugging him incessantly about it since he had let it slip that he wasn’t interested in social networking.

He resigned himself to the fact that if he wanted to stay connected in this world it may be inevitable. So he clicked the “sign up it’s free” button and began.

---

January 18

As the semester settled in and Lavi became accustomed to the twelve credit hours he was taking, he realized two things: he was going to get adequate sleep all semester and he was going to have so much downtime he’d be bored out of his mind within another week. Now that he wasn’t at Yuu’s house playing mindless video games (and other not-so-mindless ones) and generally occupying his days with fun activities, he was beginning to feel a bit restless, as if he didn’t have anything to do. He couldn’t just get out his logs again--he’d given up that life and he would not go back. But he couldn’t think of anything else to do either.

He’d tried broaching the topic with Yuu yesterday, but that had ended up with him not seeing what the problem was. And then them making out for such a long time that only their rumbling stomachs separated them. Although he liked the kissing, he needed actual advice.

So Lenalee it was.

His first class was at nine in the morning, and he was bored in the first ten minutes. He sat at the back of the class, so he wiggled his phone out of his back pocket--nothing wrong here, professor, I’m completely innocent, just scratchin’ my butt--and tapped out a quick text to Lenalee:

Wanna have lunch? I’m free 11 to 3.

Three minutes and twenty-four seconds later, his phone buzzed against his palm. He tapped the screen to see the message:

kk 1230 bench by mem lol

Lavi blinked. He was a smart guy, but... this was gibberish. He’d studied aspects of college life, but he certainly did not understand the intricacies of text speak. He figured 1230 was half past noon, and he bet she meant they were to meet at a bench, but he wasn’t sure about the rest. So he tapped out a response.

Huh?

This time, the response came much quicker.

Oh lavi ur so cute lol! Lets meet @ the bench outside memorial hall @ 12:30, k?

He locked his phone and stuck it back in his back pocket, effectively doing the butt scratch again. Memorial Hall was a little far from where he was, but it had good food, and the company would be worth the walk.

The class dragged on. A boy two desks in front of him was rocking back and forth, twitching at irregular intervals. Probably on the verge of sleep. The professor’s voice was pretty monotone, so it wasn’t surprising. Glancing at the rest of the classroom, Lavi counted three who had their heads on their desks, not even bothering to hide their inattention. Several others looked like they were taking notes, but one was scribbling vertically along the page, making looping motions every few seconds. A girl in the far corner to Lavi’s right was picking her nose. The boy in front of her was scratching his balls.

Finally, after what seemed like a century, after Lavi had watched his neighbor on the left check his watch forty-seven times, the class ended. People stood up, shoved their books into their backpacks, and half ran out the door, bottlenecking the exit. There were others who still sat at their desks, writing themselves a note or taking care with the arrangement of the books. Lavi decided to join the scramble of students at the door. It was nearly eleven, and he wanted to drop his stuff off at the dorm before going to see Lenalee.

As he tried to squeeze through with the other students, someone trod on the back of his shoe, sending him careening forward into the girl who had been picking her nose. He went face-first into her enormous, curling, bouncing monster of hair. Together, the two of them fell to the ground. The hair cushioned Lavi’s head in the fall.

They both probably yelled, but Lavi didn’t really hear it because he was too busy trying to minimize the weight that fell on the girl. As soon as they hit the ground, he pushed himself up.

“Sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry. Someone stepped on my shoe.” He held a hand out for the girl as she slowly turned. She gasped, and her eyes went wider than Frodo’s in that weird movie about a ring.

“Are you okay?” He asked, leaning forward.

“Yeah,” she said after a second. She blinked and then took his hand. “Yeah, I’m fine. Ow.” Lavi heard something crack.

He’d pulled too hard on her shoulder.

“Sorry.”

“No, my hip just cracked. I landed a little funny on it.”

“You sure you’re fine?”

“Yeah.”

“You just looked really shocked a second ago. Is something broken or sprained?”

“No. You just look like my--a friend of mine.”

“Oh. Well, I’ll see you in class on Wednesday.”

“Yeah,” she said, smiling before she turned and walked off.

“Out of the way!” Someone shouted from behind him. He began to move forward into the hallway.

---

Lenalee’s face lit up when she saw him approach. She stood on the bench and waved her hand way above her head.

“Lavi! Over here!” She shouted.

“I can see you!” Lavi shouted back.

“Oh! Sorry!”

Any further conversation was stalled until Lavi was right in front of her.

“How have you been?” She asked as she pulled him into a hug.

Lavi patted her back. “Good.” He pulled back and looked at her more carefully, then slumped a little. “Bored.”

“Bored?”

“Yeah, there’s nothing to do... I come home and Yuu’s off at sword practice, and I get my homework done so quickly that I’m left with a full evening with nothing to do. ‘Cause, you know, when he gets home, that’s when he does his homework and then it’s too late to do anything more than get ready for bed. He’s sleeping well, finally.”

They both turned to walk toward the building.

“So you are frustrated,” Lenalee said after a few seconds of consideration.

“No. Just bored.”

“You sure you aren’t just frustrated?” She asked, a sly grin on her lips.

“Frustrated how?”

“Oh, Lavi, don’t be naïve. Sexually.”

“What? No! I mean, yes, but there’s not much I can do, so no, not really, but maybe a little bit.”

Lenalee stopped walking and turned to face him directly. Lavi stopped mid-stride.

“What?” She asked. Her head tilted minutely to the right. Her eyebrows plunged downward, threatening to obscure her eyes.

“Oh. Um, Yuu and I are... going slow, I guess you could say. But it’s not a problem!” Lavi waved his hands out in the space between them, almost as if he wished to physically wipe away the issue.

“Oh.” She began walking again, and Lavi followed, catching up with two long strides.

“So you’re frustrated but not...” She said.

“You could say that.”

“So you get home and without him there, you’re bored? And then you want him to pay attention to you, but he’s ignoring you, so you’re still bored?”

“Yeah, that’s the gist of it.”

“And it’s not sexual.”

“For the most part.”

“You confound me, Lavi.”

“Your brother should hear you talk like this sometime. He’d be shocked at how sex-obsessed you are.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Lenalee pushed him. Lavi was displaced nearly to the edge of the sidewalk.

“Maybe not, but I bet Yuu would, if he knew how much you’re sniffing into our private affairs.”

“I’ve got so much dirt on Yuu-kun that he wouldn’t dare say anything in a million years.”

Lavi paused mid-step. “Like what?” He asked, hoping he didn’t sound too excited.

Lenalee continued walking. “Like I’d tell you,” she said. Lavi caught up with her and noticed her smug, self-satisfied smirk.

“Oh, come on, one thing.”

“Nope. But I think I’m gonna tell Yuu-kun that you were trying to find out.”

“Are you... trying to get some dirt on me?”

“Oh, Lavi, I already have dirt on you.”

“What! What dirt?”

“You really think you’re that squeaky clean?”

Well, no. “Yes.”

“Maybe you should look into your, ahem, drunk conduct, then, Mr. Tyki Chaser.”

“That was one time! And about a gazillion years ago!”

“So?”

“And he knows, anyway,” Lavi admitted.

They reached the door. Lenalee pulled it open and held it for him.

“Getting back to the topic at hand,” she said finally, after they’d swiped their cards, grabbed trays, and gotten into the huge line. It looked like they’d hit lunch rush exactly on the nose. “Why don’t you tell Yuu you’re bored and you want to do something with him?”

“It’s not just with him. I want... to do more things.”

“Ooooh! Extracurriculars, huh?”

They inched forward in line.

“Yeah. But also... Yuu.”

“Lavi, stop contradicting yourself!” Lenalee said, smiling, and raised her tray in the air, only to bring it down soundly on top of Lavi’s head.

“Ow!” He yelled. His hands flew to his head and his knees buckled, sending him into an awkward squat. His tray clattered to the floor. “What the hell, Lenalee?”

“Indecisive,” She said, smiling brightly.

“What?”

“It’s a male thing. Not your fault.”

“Lenalee!” Lavi retrieved his tray and stood all the way up. Again they inched forward, this time somewhat more significantly.

“What? Anyway, join a club or something. Hell, join a fraternity. You don’t need Yuu-kun to go out and enjoy yourself. And if you want to stay in and enjoy yourself, why don’t you just tell him that you’re not fully satisfied? I’m sure Yuu-kun wouldn’t mind giving you a little handy here and there.”

Lavi blushed. “L-Lenalee!”

“What? It’s perfectly solid advice. You’re a big boy, Lavi, it’s time to start doing things yourself.”

They dropped the subject, more because Lavi was currently too flustered for speech than for any other reason.

---

When Lavi sidled into the room, opening the door as little as possible and veritably creeping along the tiled floor to his bed, all while forcing his gaze to somewhere near the bookshelf above his bed, Yuu knew something was up.

Lavi hadn’t been home when he’d gotten back. Which was odd. But maybe he’d had a group meeting or something and had meant to be back earlier, so he’d not informed Yuu. Or maybe he’d gone down the hall to play video games with Jason. Either way, he wasn’t worried. There hadn’t been any sign of Bookman since they had returned, so he’d spent the time until the redhead made his entrance doing homework.

Sighing, he put down his textbook.

“You’re no ninja, Lavi.”

The boy twitched with such force that he nearly lost his balance. He wobbled for a moment, and when he’d stabilized himself, Yuu spoke again.

“You aren’t exactly the master of subterfuge.”

“Oh, hi, Yuu, I didn’t expect you to be back!” Lavi said, turning around in an exaggerated manner.

“And my aunt’s a poodle. Come here. What’s up?”

Lavi set down his bookbag at the side of his bed and then walked over to Yuu. Yuu closed his notebook and slid it under his covers to hide with the other random things at the foot of his bed. Just for good measure, he thrust his pencil in after it, making sure to slide the lead back into the plastic so that it wouldn’t accidentally write on his blankets. He had standards of cleanliness by which to abide.

“Nothing, I just... didn’t want to bother you. You looked busy.”

“You didn’t even look at me.”

“I sensed it. Through the door.”

Yuu rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m not busy anymore. So, what’s up?”

“Why would you think something’s up?”

Yuu wanted to strangle him. Instead he just decided to startle him. He was close enough anyway. He reached out and grabbed hold of the rabbit, dragging him down onto his bed before the redhead had any idea what was going on. He squawked. Yuu had not expected him to flail as much as he did and so he lost control of the fall. Lavi somehow--inexplicably--landed on top of him, rather awkwardly. Yuu’s hips had stayed partially in the opposite direction, leaving him in a rather contorted stretch, and Lavi’s body weight slamming on top of him seemed to have exerted enough pressure to elicit an enormous crack. He hissed, gritted his teeth, but a yelp escaped nonetheless.

And then there was the relief. He felt limber as Daisya after his morning coffee. Sighing, he looked up at Lavi. For half a moment, he was astonished at just how green Lavi’s eyes were. There was no way they were actually that green on a day-to-day basis. It was probably colored contacts or something.

And Lavi’s body was awfully close. The boy blushed and began to push himself up, but Yuu decided he liked where Lavi was. He adjusted his hips into a neutral position as Lavi moved up, and as soon as he was comfortable, he reached up, linked his arms around Lavi’s waist, and pulled him right back down where he wanted him.

After the desired relocation had been achieved, Yuu removed his hand from Lavi’s back and caught him by the chin to hold it in place. Then he leaned up and kissed him.

Lavi gasped against his lips. As if he’d been completely surprised that their compromising position had led to something like this. What a baka. He pulled Lavi even closer, pressing them entirely together. He could feel Lavi’s sharp breaths. He could feel the expansion of his chest each time the boy inhaled. Their hips were melded together, nearly grinding with the subtle movements of their bodies. He felt the barest hint of skin against his as their shirts rose up.

Lavi’s hands grasped his shoulders, latching on, clenching in the fabric of Yuu’s shirt. The kiss deepened. Yuu felt the familiar tightening of muscles as pleasure began to build at his core. Fear pushed adrenaline into his system, skyrocketed his heartbeat, but he kissed Lavi harder, nipping his lip, wrapping his tongue around Lavi’s, moaning as Lavi pushed their hips together just a little more. He was better than his fear. And Lavi deserved a responsive boyfriend.

And maybe he kind of wanted this too.

In fact, he was sure he did. His hands fell from Lavi’s back to his sides, and from there, he shimmied them down to Lavi’s hips. He’d done this millions of times, but this time was different. There was a different need here than there had been then. There was want. He rubbed circles around the hipbones and then reached around back, cupping Lavi’s ass and pulling him so that their clothed arousals pushed against each other.

Lavi squawked again. Yuu wanted to laugh at the sound, but he was pretty sure he’d made a noise too. And he couldn’t exactly concentrate on something so complex at the moment. He tilted his head to the side, extending his neck toward Lavi.

The redhead got the message, somehow. Maybe there was an almighty God in the sky, because that boy was the thickest idiot Yuu had ever met, especially where sex was involved. Couldn’t tell a scrotum from a tennis ball.

As Lavi began experimenting (not so smoothly) with licking and nipping at his neck, Yuu shivered. Despite Lavi’s lack of experience, it felt good. He let out an uncharacteristically breathy sigh. “Yes...”

He began playing with the hem of Lavi’s shirt. He hadn’t brought on a panic attack yet, so why not push his luck?

“Yuu,” Lavi murmured against his neck.

“Hm?” Yuu responded by running a hand up the front of Lavi’s shirt and tweaking a nipple. Lavi gasped, and he twitched against Yuu’s pants. Yuu couldn’t quite get enough control over his facial features to smirk.

“Is this too much?” Lavi shifted backward.

“No.”

Lavi leaned back in. He continued the awkward yet arousing things he was doing with Yuu’s neck.

“You sure?” He asked between soft kisses.

“Yes. If it was too much, I’d stop you. Now don’t stop.” He arched his back from the mattress and slid a leg between Lavi’s. The redhead moaned, deep and guttural, against Yuu’s neck, sending goosebumps down his arms.

It seemed like the redhead was finally ready to take a risk or two, because Yuu felt the other boy’s hand begin to make its way under his shirt and upward. He tensed for half a second, but not because he was afraid; rather, the touch was too soft, too tentative, and though Yuu had never considered himself ticklish, the barest of laughs spilled from his mouth. Lavi hesitated.

“Harder,” Yuu said, and Lavi’s touch grew stronger, though no less tentative.

As a reward, Yuu rubbed his upper thigh between Lavi’s legs, adding more pressure each time Lavi inched his hand higher. Finally Lavi moaned again, loud this time, and a little desperate.

“Oh, God, Yuu, please.”

“Then touch me, Rabbit.” His words came out thickly accented. He would have scowled at himself, but he was a little busy because Lavi’s hands became very brave indeed.

Abandoning the job beneath Yuu’s shirt, Lavi reached between them and put a hand directly on his erection.

A heavy breeze slammed through Yuu’s brain, entering one ear and taking all thought out his head through the other.

Then Lavi undid his fly and heaved down both their pants. There was a brief pause, probably for Lavi to take a look at his... commodities. Yuu was not enormous or anything, but he’d seen enough penis to be confident in his own.

“Lavi,” Yuu tried to growl, but it came out too soft. He sounded... very aroused.

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

Lavi’s hand encircled him. The world constricted. He probably looked like a fish, with his mouth hanging open and wobbling with shock.

It had never been like this. Good. Pleasant. Something he wanted. But now it was, and he found himself completely out of control. His hips bucked up into Lavi’s hand. Foreign sounds ripped from his throat. His hands flew to his sides and clasped at the blankets. The hand stopped. Yuu growled. It started again.

He turned his head to the side, because that was sexier and what was expected of him. It was what the customers wanted, so of course Lavi would enjoy it if he did that. Ice crackled at his fingertips.

He saw the face of the woman. Blonde. Obviously bleached because she was not a foreigner. Skin beginning to wrinkle but still taut. He felt her take his hand, guide it between her legs.

He went rigid. He pulled his hand away. He yelled.

“No, no, get off me. Stop. Now.” Yuu pushed and flailed his way out from under Lavi.

The boy scuttled backward, abandoning everything he’d been doing.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Yuu, I didn’t mean to do that, I’m sorry I grabbed your hand, are you okay?”

Yuu was gasping in lungfuls of air. It wasn’t working; he couldn’t breathe. The world began to spin, so he curled up, trying harder and harder to bring in at least one fresh breath, but he couldn’t. And Lavi’s arms were around him, and maybe he was saying something. Yuu didn’t know. He stared at the off-white wall next to his bed, trying to orient himself, trying to calm down enough to understand the words Lavi was saying to him. He stared for what seemed like forever, until finally, he managed a breath that didn’t feel crushing or constricting.

He wondered how long he’d been staring; he hoped not too long. It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes, Yuu realized to his relief. In fact, it had only been a few minutes since the whole situation had started.

He sat up, accidentally jarring Lavi in the process. The boy followed suit, looking worried.

“I’m fine. It’s alright.” He still sounded breathless, but relatively calm.

“You’re sure? What happened? I’m so sorry; I didn’t think you’d--”

“Shh, it wasn’t your fault.”

“But I was the one that went and grabbed your--”

“Lavi,” Yuu said sharply. He grabbed the boy’s hand. “It wasn’t your fault. I was... really enjoying it. And I’m sorry I keep doing this.”

“You’re apologizing to me?”

“Yes. I keep leaving you... like that.” He gestured in the vague direction of Lavi’s pants with his other hand.

“It’s alright. I don’t care. It’s my fault anyway.”

“Listen to me.” He squeezed Lavi’s hand. “I know you’re frustrated.” Lavi squawked yet again, causing Yuu to smile, a wry laugh squeezing its way into the open. “I am... also frustrated. In both senses. And I’m failing you.”

“You’re not!”

“I am. How can I be a proper partner to you if I can’t even be physical with you?”

“It’s--it’s not about that,” Lavi insisted. He placed his other hand over Yuu’s.

“It is. Lenalee texted today--”

“What!? She told you!?”

“She told me you wanted to talk to me about something, and you’d be antsy about the subject. I asked if it had something to do with our relationship. She has a big mouth. It wasn’t hard to guess. I’m... painfully aware of my flaws.”

“They’re not flaws, Yuu.”

“They are, so shut up and let me talk.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What did I say about shutting up?” Yuu smiled. He used his free hand to grasp Lavi behind the head and pull him to his chest. He kissed the unruly mop of hair and ran his fingers through the strands. His hand got stuck in the tangles that had formed during their previous activities. Lavi laughed, and Yuu managed a chuckle.

Removing his hand slowly from the frumpy mess, Yuu continued, “I’m still... working on things.” Lavi’s head was still resting on his chest, but Yuu turned his head away as if the boy was staring right at him. “It may be some time before I... before I’d like to try that again. But don’t be afraid to touch me. Ever. I won’t get better if you walk on eggshells. And Lavi?” Yuu gazed down into his boyfriend’s impossibly red locks.

“Yeah?” Lavi asked. He craned his neck back so that the two of them were looking directly at each other.

“You let me know when you’re frustrated. I may be a bit... reticent about being touched, but I have no problem with actual touching. So whenever you’re feeling a little... well, whenever you’re horny, I’d like to help you out with that.”

“No, that’s okay, Yuu. I’m okay on my own.”

Yuu sighed in exasperation. There were times he wanted to hit the rabbit, he admitted it. “Let me do this for you.”

“Why would you want to?” The rest of the sentence was unspoken but heavy in the air: why would you want to if you’re not getting anything in return?

“Because I... love you, Lavi, and I want to show you that.” He looked away. You weren’t supposed to say stuff like that so soon. Oh, God, now he wanted to take that back. It was a foolish thing to say. God, why was he so stupid?

“You... love me?”

“Che. Why are you acting so surprised, baka? I should slice you up with Mugen for being so stupid. You’re such an idiot.” He smacked the dumbass’s head (lightly) to demonstrate his disapproval.

“You love me?”

“Yes, now shut up about it. I know I’m not... exactly the best person out there for you. I’m damaged. I’m no good. I’m an asshole. But I care about you, so shut up and let me touch you when you want me to.”

“O-okay,” Lavi said. He sounded a little breathless.

“Good, then we can shut up about this and you can eat some of the cake I baked this afternoon.”

Even as he redirected Lavi’s attention, he knew that the boy would never come to him for something like that. He’d feel too guilty or some nonsense like that. Yuu made a resolution to be a little more hands-on in their relationship.

That way Lavi got what he wanted and Yuu didn’t have to think about how fucked up he was for a while yet.

---

January 21

Lavi had decided to skip his morning class. It had been a really simple decision, and he didn’t regret going and eating breakfast with Yuu. In fact, breakfast just seemed to taste better that day. Maybe it was because the eggs weren’t quite as rubbery as they normally were, but Lavi had a suspicion that it was because he actually had someone to talk to. It was nice; he’d have to try and convince the dark-haired boy to eat with him more often. Not that he wasn’t confident that the other boy would give in to the idea.

The day seemed to be looking like it would be a good one. It was sunny, even. The snow was beginning to melt, too. It was the first above freezing day in a long time. They walked leisurely down the sidewalk together. Lavi even dared to reach out and grab Yuu’s hand for a few paces before becoming too awkward. The Japanese boy chuckled at that and grabbed his hand back.

They made their way past the student center. It was right before they were supposed to split up, but there was an abnormally large crowd of people out in front, gathered around one of the large trees by the building. Without exchanging words, they decided to go see what the commotion was. The sound of police sirens were just beginning to cut through the anxious roar of the crowd. Lavi pushed his way into the crowd, but he didn’t have to get far before we saw what the fuss was about.

He felt sick.

He’d wondered where Bookman had been. It looked like the organization had finally caught up with him. It had only been a matter of time, but what was most shocking was that they had left the body in a public place... it had to be a warning. They’d strung him up in the tree, after they’d killed him, obviously. The lack of blood at the wounds to his throat were enough to gauge that without guessing. Did this mean they were telling him that he was next? It was the only possible reason why they had even left any evidence at all.

A hand came to his shoulder, and he jumped a little. It was only Yuu, of course, looking concerned. As he should be. This was serious.

“Let’s go back,” Yuu said, grabbing onto his arm. Lavi didn’t resist, though he wasn’t afraid. Instead, it was almost like he was relieved, at peace, even. The only person connecting him to that life was dead, and even though he knew his life was in more danger now than it had ever been, he couldn’t help but smile a tiny bit.

He was sure the fear would hit him soon enough, but for that moment, the sun was still shining and he was by Yuu’s side, so how could he be afraid?

----

A/N: So we know a couple of you called the tidbit about Jason being a Bookman’s heir. Actually, it was one of you who gave us the idea for it. But it totally makes sense, so we’re super grateful. The detail he made about the cane with the wolf’s head--Em2’s father carved that for her grandfather when he got sick, and it is now sitting in their living room. We thought it was a good detail. Plus the cane is pretty freakin’ cool.

We are not sure when we will be able to post the next chapter, what with us moving and Em2 going internetless for nearly a week (she was assuming she’d have the interwebs down in New Orleans. But she won’t, sadfaces). We will try to get it to you as soon as possible, though, and we’ll keep you posted. So please look forward to BRS chapter 7!!
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How to Save a Life