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The Sugar Cube Fort	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > Het-Male/Female Views: 2334 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
CHAPTER 21: VACATION II
In the car on the way back, Light and Misa got into an explosive argument about whether the date was really over or not. Misa wanted to extend it so that she would spend the rest of the day with Light and his family, despite the agreement she'd made earlier. Rem did not want to see this side of Misa, with an unhappy, angry face, so she flew off, seeking L and the Yagami family.
She found them still relaxing by the duck pond. Sayu and Sachiko were at one end, where Sayu was operating a remote-controlled small boat, sometimes chasing the ducks with it until her mother scolded her. The ducks didn't mind; they just attacked the boat with their bills whenever it bumped into them. L and Soichiro were on a bench at the other end of the duck pond. L was still working away at his giant lollipop, and a huge bag of duck food was sitting between them. Periodically, one of them would take a handful and throw it to the eager ducks that were gathered at that edge of the pond.
Soichiro looked like he was at last starting to crack under the strain. His facade was slipping; it was more difficult to pretend Light's death wasn't approaching. There was enormous tension in the skin around his eyes, and his forehead kept producing beads of sweat that he periodically wiped away.
L was largely oblivious. He seemed to be entirely in his own world, just as when he became deeply involved in stacking objects. Perhaps repetitive physical movements were soothing to him. He had a kind of rhythm built up with the lollipop licking and the duck-food throwing. He also eyed the formation of ducks carefully before each throw, and aimed the shower of pellets to land in such a place that the ducks would have to do the most work possible to swim over to it. He was giving them a regular workout.
Soichiro interrupted the silence by saying, "What did I do wrong with Light? How could I have stopped this?"
L said, "You did nothing wrong. You raised him with a strong sense of justice. If he'd never found that notebook, he would have become an excellent detective. And, if you'd been truly suspicious of him during the investigation, he probably would have killed you. That's why I kept telling you I only suspected Light five percent or other small percentages. I suspected him much more, but if I'd told you that, it may have put your life in danger."
Soichiro said, "But, what happened with Light isn't normal. There must have been something I could have done. He's just a kid. How could he stomach killing so many people?"
L said, "At my present age, I would never do what Light has done, but if I had found such a thing when I was seventeen, as he did, I might have. I certainly would have done something stupid with it, even if I hadn't tried to kill off all the world's criminals. Teenagers don't have enough experience, so they tend to think there are simple solutions to the world's problems. They also believe strongly in their own rightness."
"Then," Soichiro said, "it is as I said in the hospital after my heart attack. Kira is not evil. It is the power to kill that is evil."
L licked his lollipop twice and then said, "The notebook is a great temptation. It happened to be perfectly suited to Light's personality. It corrupted him. If he'd had the strength early on to get rid of it, he would have recovered. But, that act would have been admitting to himself he'd done something wrong, and with his pride it would have been very difficult to think of himself as a murderer. So, the longer he kept it, the more likely that he would never turn away from being Kira."
Rem said, "Most death note owners only kill a few times before giving up ownership. Light is unusual."
L said, "Light has immense willpower. It would have suited him well if he hadn't become a criminal."
"Even with his willpower," Soichiro said, "I don't understand how he did it. My mind just can't grasp it."
"There is a phenomenon," L said, "that occurs with distant deaths. If the killer never sees it, it feels unreal, and they don't suffer in the way a hands-on murderer does. Some of the greatest mass-murderers in history did exactly what Light did. They wrote names on paper. These murderers were part of corrupt regimes indulging in mass killings, and they were sending out execution lists of undesirables to be killed. Most of them believed they weren't murderers. Their killings had less psychological impact on them because they were distant and unseen."
Rem saw Light approaching in the distance. Misa was not with him.
Rem said, "Light is returning."
L said, "I see him."
Soichiro put both hands to his face and said, "I still feel like I did something wrong. I failed at being a father."
L awkwardly patted Soichiro's back and said, "I am the one who failed. If I had cornered Kira early in the investigation, he probably would have given up his power and none of us would know anything about it. Chief Yagami, you must remain strong for the sake of Sayu and your wife. They will need you very much. You've been an excellent father, and you still have the opportunity to fulfill that role for Sayu. If she lost both her brother and her father, it would be too cruel. Please don't do that to her."
On the other side of the pond, Light had gathered Sayu and Sachiko and was leading them toward Soichiro. Soichiro sighed deeply several times, and then got a handkerchief out and wiped his face. He tried to put on a calm expression, and smiled as they approached.
Sayu was clutching a little pamphlet in one hand, and she squealed as she neared her father, saying, "Look at what Light discovered! At the outdoor stage at the other end of the park, there are five traditional Noh plays in a row all day today, with the next one starting almost right now!"
Light said, "I know how much Sayu and Mom love those, so I couldn't resist telling them about it."
Soichiro started to get up, but Sachiko gently pushed him back down and said, "Dear, you look very tired, and I know you and Light hate those plays. Why don't you two have fun together and we'll rejoin you later. If you get impatient, you can always call my cellphone."
As Sayu and Sachiko turned to leave, L hopped from the bench and started to follow. Light grabbed his arm and said, "No, I want you to stay here."
Sayu looked back quizzically. L shrugged, climbed back onto the bench, settled into his characteristic crouch and began throwing food to the ducks once more. Light watched his mother and sister leave. There was a tense silence between Light and Soichiro, almost a crackling atmosphere between them. Light was looking at Soichiro almost constantly, but Soichiro was unable to meet the eyes of his son. L was out of the loop. He'd decided to close himself into his own little world again, and his face was serene, his movements relaxed and unconcerned.
Light broke the silence by saying, "There is a Hachiman shrine on top of the highest hill over there. It's very old and historical. I'd like to visit it."
Soichiro started to get up once more, but Light said, "I care about you too much to let you climb that hill. It is large and steep, and you're technically still recovering from your heart attack. Besides, you look completely worn out already."
A look of relief came across Soichiro's face, and he settled back onto the bench.
Light said, "Come on, Ryuzaki. Let's go."
L said, "I will stay here."
L patted the huge bag of duck food next to him, and continued, "I haven't finished feeding the ducks."
Light said, "I don't think you want to leave me alone, Ryuzaki. You know what I might do."
L got up and answered, "Whatever you say, Light."
As Rem followed the two of them across the park, toward the hilly area of thick forest dotted with shrines, she thought about Light's actions. He had very neatly disposed of all his family members, and was now leading L into a place with few people.
Rem said, "Light may be planning to ambush you or start some scheme."
L replied, "I know that very well."
Light looked at L and said, "What do you have? A tiny phone inside your ear?"
L said, "Perhaps I'm just taking up the habit of talking to myself. I will let you examine my ear if you wish."
Light snorted and kept walking. L trailed behind. They were now getting to an area of the park that was transitioning into a mock-wilderness. It wasn't as neat and clean as the rest. Messy drifts of dead leaves appeared now, collected in ditches and low areas. Ahead of them, the forest was a riot of color combined with browns. A few trees still had green leaves, and a few were entirely leafless, but most trees were covered with leaves in the red-orange-yellow range. The temperature was right at the boundary between warm and cool, with a crisp feel to the air. There was something very calm and peaceful about it all, despite the danger and fake friendship radiating from Light.
Then they entered the forest, climbing a steep, winding path of ancient stone steps, some missing or so badly tilted that both men jumped over them rather than use them. Rem took to the air, lazily floating above them, phasing right through the tree branches whenever they got in her way. There hadn't been a single other person in view since they entered the forest. They came to a semi-clearing, where there were still trees but they were spread out more, and quite a bit of sunlight came down through the partial canopy. When they were halfway through it, Light suddenly got a tense look in his eyes. L couldn't see, since he was still behind Light.
Rem said, "Watch out!"
At the same moment, Light turned and punched. L ducked the punch, swirled around Light, and kicked him in the back. Light fell heavily against a jutting stone step. He groaned and rubbed the side of his leg, remaining where he'd fallen.
L said, "What is the purpose of that?"
Light said, "This time, L, you're going to tell me exactly what I want to know."
L said, "It is a crime to leak classified information."
"Then," Light said, "what you told me last night was a complete lie. Kira did not erase portions of my memories."
L said nothing in return. Light continued rubbing his leg, an expression of pain on his face. L walked over and held out a hand to help Light get up. Light made a swiping kick that tripped L, and L was falling backwards, his head aimed toward broken stone. Rem caught him and set him on his feet.
Light's face was pure shock. He said, "What the hell was that?"
L edged further away from Light and said, "I recover quickly from falls."
"No," Light said, "that movement was completely unnatural. You changed direction in mid-air."
"Perhaps," L said, "I am more of a master of martial arts than you think."
Light said, "Well, let's not get off-topic then. You are going to tell me the truth about Kira, or I'll keep fighting until both of us are a bloody mess. I don't think you want to explain that to my father."
L said, "Violence will solve nothing. I can subdue you without hurting you."
Light said, "We will have this conversation here, or we will have it in front of my family, or we will have it in public. You might care about not leaking classified information, but I'll do it if that's what it takes. And, if you try to leave, I'll do exactly the same thing to my father. I won't let up for even one minute until he's told me the truth."
L said, "The truth is very complicated, and you won't believe it unless I assemble some evidence to show you. I'll create a briefing kit for you to look over tomorrow in the investigation center, but that is the very last time you'll be allowed in there, and if any of the information leaks, I'll see that you're charged with that crime."
In a low, dangerous voice, Light said, "There are too many things about tomorrow. You and my father are both very concerned about today, but not tomorrow. What is scheduled to happen?"
L said, "You are imagining things. It will take that long to assemble the evidence into a proper briefing kit."
Light said, "You feel sorry for my father, and you want me to spend a lot of time with my family today. Am I dying?"
L said nothing, but his dark eyes held a flat, dull look as if he were retreating, withdrawing into himself. He took a few more steps away from Light.
Light said, "L, you aren't getting out of this. If I'm dying, you owe me at least that much."
In a quiet voice, L said, "You will die. We believe Kira killed you, and scheduled your death for tonight."
A look of terrible shock and panic spread across Light's face. L turned away, and began using one foot to stir the dead leaves on the forest floor. Rem could see that he was nudging the various colors of leaves into a simple alternating pattern.
In a choked, pained voice, Light said, "Am I Kira?"
Without turning around, L said, "Yes, you are Kira."
"If I am Kira," Light said, his voice shaking with both pain and anger, "those criminals deserved to die. Didn't they? Didn't they?"
L said nothing, but he dropped into a crouch, and began stacking dead leaves with one hand, picking up each one with two delicate, long fingers.
Light put his face in his hands, but his eyes were peeking out between his fingers, and they were gradually changing, looking more calculating, looking meaner. His innocence had been destroyed. He knew what he was. Various conflicts surged through his face.
L said, "I have intruded long enough. I am not needed here. I will go home."
Light said, "You would hate it if I tormented my father in the last hours I have, wouldn't you?"
"Light, I don't know what else you want from me."
Light replied, "I want you to witness my death. It's your fault. You caused it. So, you need to suffer the consequences. Otherwise, my father will suffer."
L turned around and looked at Light, with a completely blank expression on his face. He said, "Very well."
Light said, "How can you be so calm? You're such an unflappable bastard! No wonder you don't care about the victims of criminals, you just want to play your little games."
Light picked up a jagged rock in one hand, screamed, and ran toward L. Rem grabbed L and flew upward, hovering. The rock fell from Light's nerveless fingers in astonishment. His eyes and face radiated disbelief.
Light said, "You can fly!"
L said, "There are many things you don't know about me. I will go now to spend time with my girlfriend. I'll be back before your death. If I find you've been tormenting your father when I return, I will leave immediately."
Rem flew higher, sticking close to and avoiding the trees at the same time. It was harder to navigate without being able to phase through the branches, but Rem couldn't get very clear of the trees, or else people might be able to see a flying L. Even so, it was awkward, and Rem did manage to smack L into a few small branches, nothing bad, and she immediately apologized each time. When she was sure Light had been left so far behind he wouldn't be able to find L, Rem swooped down to a secluded place, a little circular area surrounded by bushes on all sides. There were a number of dead leaves collected in the middle.
As Rem set him down, L said, "Flying is very nice. We should do that at night, when it will be harder for anyone to see me."
Although his words held a tone of curiosity and happiness, L's face looked strained, sad. He settled down on the ground in a crouch and then kicked off his untied, worn-out shoes.
L said, "This is our first date, then, isn't it?"
Rem said, "Yes. What would you like to do?"
"I have never been on a date, and I do not think I would enjoy ordinary date activities. Why don't we just spend some time alone here?"
L pushed at the collected dead leaves, forming them into a shape, and then said, "I would like to cuddle. I think we can shield me from your coldness with leaves, so you can hold me a long time."
Rem said, "Light's upcoming death is bothering you a great deal, isn't it?"
L said, "This is harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I made a mistake. If I never suggested this, we could all be moving beyond Kira's death by now."
Rem moved into position, built up a layer of leaves between their bodies, and wrapped her arms around L. L let out a slow breath and relaxed forward into her, resting his forehead on her shoulder, his fluffy bangs protecting him from her iciness. He had his knees hugged to his chest with his own arms. Rem grew out her wings and used them to sweep in yet more dead leaves, wrapping her wings around L as well, cushioned by the leaves.
L said, "Yes, just like this. I feel very safe here."
"You are safe," Rem said, "if Light comes back again, I won't let him hit you even once."
"Rem," L said, "I want to make you into a human."
"What?"
L continued, "I mean, legally. I can create an identity for you, so that you're a human on paper. You would be able to earn money, possess property, vote, or do almost anything that humans have the legal right to do."
Rem gripped him tighter, feeling his steady breathing, his heartbeats. L was trying to help her, trying to treat her like she really mattered. He was giving her gifts. It was unexpected, and generous.
Rem said, "I'm grateful, but I'm not sure if I want any of those things. I don't need money, or physical objects, or land, and I don't really have any political opinions."
L said, "I know, but you're more like a human than most shinigami, and if you ever wish for any of those things, I want you to have the ability to act on your own, so you won't need to come to me to ask for every little thing. I don't want to force you to be dependent on me."
"That would be nice," Rem said, "as long as these things don't become burdens."
"I've already thought of that. I'll hire people to manage everything, so you won't have to spend any time bothering with money or property unless you want to."
L paused, and relaxed a little bit more into Rem's grasp. Then he said, "I think it would be easiest to make you a British citizen, like I am. You'll need two names, a first name and a surname. Most have middle names too, but it isn't a legal requirement. What would you like to be named?"
Rem said, "First name Rem, last name Jealous."
L said, "I would also like to offer you a job. Several jobs, actually. I can set it up so you're self-employed if you want. If you accept, it wouldn't take up too much time, and you could help humans."
"What is it?"
"Well," L said, "one of those jobs would be to work for me, especially doing surveillance, such as scouting out areas before I place cameras there. I'd also like help in locating people, since you can find anyone who's name and face you already know by using the viewing portals in the shinigami realm. And, I would like to show you photos and have you tell me if the people in them are dead or not. It can be enormously important in an investigation to know whether it is possible to recover live victims or not. The other job would definitely be self-employment, and you could collect extremely large fees. Remember that writing I showed you a few days ago?"
"Yes."
L said, "That writing is Indus script, from the earliest high civilization in what is now India and Pakistan. No human alive can read it. As a shinigami, you can speak and read all human languages. From that experiment, I know that you can even read dead languages. If you make those services available to clients, you can quickly get to the point where you are earning as much as I am. Plus, it would be an amazing contribution to human knowledge."
Rem thought about everything L had told her. He'd given her a life! She could do whatever she wanted, and she wouldn't be a dependent or feel useless. And, she did like humans, in general. Not humans like Light or Higuchi, but ordinary humans such as Matsuda or Sayu. It would be nice to help people, to perhaps make up a bit for all those lives she'd cut short.
Rem said, "Yes, I think I would like to do those things."
She cuddled him closer and said, "L."
L said, "You're calling me that because it's my real name and this is the first time we've been alone, away from cameras and those who can hear you. Isn't that correct?"
"Yes," Rem said, "I'm not supposed to reveal even just your first name to those who don't already know it. With you it is a bit of a gray area, since 'L' is also a nickname. If you let those around you call you 'L' then I could certainly call you that as well, but since they don't ever call you 'L' it might count as revealing part of your real name if I did it. It is possible it wouldn't kill me. I do bend rules, but I try to limit it. I won't risk my life for no reason."
L said, "I do not mind being called 'Ryuzaki.' I've been using it long enough that I sometimes think of it as my name. Even Watari uses it. It wouldn't do to have him accidentally call me 'L' in public."
They were silent for a time. The slightest breeze was present, but it was soft and comforting. It was a perfect autumn day, and the forest smelled wonderful. It was earthy, a compound fragrance of rich soil, moss and dead leaves. A few distant human voices could be heard, the excited high-pitched chatter of children interspersed with more measured adult voices. Probably a family climbing a path to one of the many shrines. Even through the leaves, Rem could feel L's body slowly releasing the tension in it, relaxing bit-by-bit and slumping into her.
The voices became closer, almost alarmingly close, and then passed by. Later, they were followed by another batch of voices running over the same track.
L looked up into the canopy and said, "Rem, could you find a nice place up in the trees for us to continue our date? Somewhere we can't be seen from the ground and no paths come close?"
Rem disengaged from L and leapt into the air. Soon, she found a place that was just perfect. She came back, got L, and carried him upward. When she deposited him in her chosen place, his face lit up. It was very high up, where the trunk of a tall, ancient tree suddenly split into many branches, creating a bowl-shaped depression more than large enough for one human and one shinigami. Plenty of dead leaves had collected in this large, multi-branched cleft, and in places thick moss of a startlingly intense green color showed from underneath the leaves.
L took a couple of steps, then crouched down and began swirling the leaves with his hands. He looked particularly playful and child-like. It was a perfectly hidden, magical little place, with thick branches spreading outward in every direction and then climbing up, leading the eye up to a roof of multi-colored leaves and patches of intensely blue sky overhead. The breeze at this height was stronger, and a constant swish could be heard of the wind rustling through the leaves and swaying branches. But, the thick trunk under the bowl-shaped depression was largely sturdy and so their location barely swayed at all.
In a quiet, even voice, L said, "It is nice in the trees. I should come up in them more often."
Just then, an unseen nearby bird began singing, a kind of high-pitched warbling full of "ki ki," "kyo kyo" and "hyo hyo" sounds. It was a piercing, beautiful call, haunting and repetitive. L cocked his head to one side and listened intently, his eyes shining with curiosity, half-hidden under strands of his dark hair.
Rem said, "Would you like me to get it for you?"
L nodded, so Rem jumped into the air, following the sound. When she found the bird, she clasped her hands around it, forming a kind of hollow space where it fluttered uselessly in a panic, and then she slowly moved her hands inward and changed her grip so the bird was held gently but firmly, unable to move. As she flew back to L, the bird pecked furiously at her hand.
L pet the bird's head as Rem held it, them carefully transferred it to his own hands. It was the only thing Rem had ever seen him hold without using his delicate grip of just a few fingers. The bird seemed calmer now, and no longer pecked. It had a kind of brownish-gray color with an overall tinge of drab green, and pale eyebrow-like marks above each eye.
L said, "I should have guessed. A hanami bird. I did not expect one to be singing so much when it isn't spring."
He tilted his head even more, looking at it with round dark eyes, like twin pools of ink. The expression on his face was almost reverent as he used a thumb to gently pet its head.
He said, "Can animals see you?"
"Some can. Cats almost always can. When Misa was making videos to be re-dubbed as Kira videos with her friend, so that her friend's fingerprints would be on them instead of her own, there was a cat there who always hissed at me and then ran to hide in a closet until I left."
L pet the bird for a bit longer, then released it, saying, "I don't want to scare it too much."
As L watched the hanami bird fly away, he said, "I swear Kira is trying to harm me, even though he doesn't have his memories."
Rem asked, "Are you sorry you came on this trip?"
"No, I'm not sorry," L said, "Kira is cruel, and Light is also cruel in his own way, and Kira and Light really are the same person. Light has always been superficial, acting the way he thinks will give him the best reputation in front of other people instead of acting from his heart. I've usually been the only one around him who sees through those masks he wears. He is exactly the sort of person who, if they turn to crime, become the worst variety of criminal. Light had the evil in him all along, the notebook just gave him a very powerful trigger to release it."
L paused and leaned back against a branch so thick that even two people wouldn't be able to encircle it with their arms. His eyes watched the leaves tossing in the wind high above his head. A couple of them came loose and drifted down, one coming into the bowl-like depression, the other continuing downward out of sight.
"But," L said, "there must be something very good in Light, or he would not have tried to help the world at such a risk to himself."
Rem said, "I do not like Light Yagami. I have never seen him do anything good. He is very selfish and hurtful."
"Rem, you said shinigami writings say that humans who have used a death note have an unusual fate after they die. Can you tell me exactly what was written? Or could you show me that book yourself?"
She replied, "There is a collection of all rules. Humans are not allowed to see it, and anyway it is written in one of the shinigami languages so I'd have to tell you what it said even if you could see it directly. There are two rules that mention some sort of afterlife for humans. It is not known if there is any afterlife for shinigami. One of those rules states that a human user of a death note will be unable to go to heaven or hell. The other says that all humans eventually die, and all of them go to Mu."
"I see," L said, "the rules seem to be contradictory. Why even mention a heaven or hell if such things don't exist? And, if everyone goes to Mu, then death note users have exactly the same fate as everyone else, which would negate the rule about them having a special fate."
L leaned his head backwards, looking up and pressing a thumb to his lower lip. He had a calculating look in his eyes, the little wheels in his brain turning, a pleased ghost of a smile gracing his lips. He said, "There are heavens and hells in many religions, including all the Abrahamic religions, Zoroastrianism and Buddhism. Additionally, there are quite a number of Pagan religions that have both a pleasant and an unpleasant afterlife, though their hells are often just boring places rather than places of torment."
Rem said, "Of those few shinigami who even care to puzzle it out, most believe it must mean there is no heaven or hell. I know Ryuk believes that."
"That would be one way to resolve that contradiction," L agreed, "but then, a completely pointless rule would exist. We could further resolve that by assuming that shinigami knowledge is flawed and unreliable, but then there would be no reason to believe any rule unless it had been tested as true."
L pulled his knees close to his chest and thought for a bit. Then, he said, "Rem, can you repeat that rule about 'Mu' in English, French, Arabic, and Russian?"
Rem complied, and L listened closely, fascination spreading across his face. When Rem finished, L said, "It is as I thought. The term you first used in Japanese, 'Mu,' must be something that is difficult to translate from the original shinigami language into human languages. Perhaps shinigami themselves have forgotten its meaning. In Japanese, it means 'no answer' or rather that you shouldn't be asking the question in the first place. Now, in the other languages you used, it mostly ended up being translated as 'nothingness' which could be taken to mean that the afterlife all humans end up in is a drab place of boredom and nothingness, like many ancient Pagan depictions of the afterlife, or it could be taken to mean that existence ends at death."
L paused and shifted his feet a bit, digging his long toes into the moss and leaves beneath him. He said, "However, I am intrigued by another possibility. None of the languages I know fluently have a good equivalent to the Japanese 'Mu' so perhaps that is the most accurate translation. In that case, it may be an admission of shinigami ignorance on the matter. If you're not supposed to ask the question, then perhaps it is because the answer is unknown."
Rem said, "The original shinigami term does have connotations of both nothingness and of being a place name."
L laughed and said, "I had thought that, if I ever met supernatural beings, I'd be able to figure out whether or not there was an afterlife and whether or not any particular religion might hold the truth. I was wrong. Even gods of death don't know the answer to the most important question humans have about death. Perhaps humans expect too much from the supernatural. We expect it to bring us all the answers, but instead it brings more questions."
Rem said, "What is your religion?"
L said, "Like most people in my range of intelligence, I don't really have one. I like to pick and choose my beliefs. It's hard enough to believe in the supernatural at all, but to conform to every detail of some religion's belief system, without thinking there are some big flaws, is completely against my style of doing things."
L paused. "However, as far as practicing instead of believing, I've wavered between Buddhism and Christianity for years. I lived here, in Japan, until my parents died. My mother was half-Japanese, half-European and my father was fully European, but both were Buddhists. Then, I ended up in a British orphanage that was technically Christian, but not at all strict, and my mentors did not want to turn me away from my childhood religion, so they arranged for me to continue to receive instruction in Buddhism."
L's hands dropped to sit next to his feet, and he began arranging the leaves there into patterns. He said, "I believe in ethical principles more than religions, but even there I'm flexible. I know I need to be realistic, or I won't get things done. I believe in justice, but, I'm like Light in that I don't entirely believe in the law."
Between a thumb and a forefinger, L held up a perfect fan of leaves in front of his face, alternating red-yellow-red-yellow. He studied it, as if it held all the answers he sought. "But, perverting the law as badly as Kira did is unquestionably wrong. For criminals to lose the right to be judged by society, and for the death penalty to have a very widespread application, it perverts ideals like social justice, personal accountability and constitutional governments. Democracy itself is threatened by one individual with that much power. Group decisions get replaced by an individual who is unwilling to admit he's ever been wrong."
"Well," Rem said, "Kira will be gone in just a few hours, and there's no possibility he could get a death note in that time, let alone the one that can restore his memories."
L looked sad and said, "But, with that passing, Kira will have already corrupted me."
"Are you talking about the way he's forcing you to witness his death?"
"Yes," L said, "he is making me confront a betrayal of my own principles. You see, I don't believe in the death penalty. There are many reasons to oppose it, and those societies that have more rights for criminals and more genuine chances for criminals to reform often create better results. That's one of the reasons I decided to take the Kira case. I did not want to see a world where the death penalty became common even in nations that had decided to rarely or never use it. But I'm being a hypocrite by using the death penalty on Kira, and he's making sure I can't forget it for a second."
"Surely," Rem said, "many of the criminals you've caught must have been sentenced to death? Even if it's a betrayal of your personal beliefs to sentence a criminal to death, you must have done it dozens of times before. Kira can't be too different."
L cleared his throat and said, "You are right, Rem. Despite my beliefs, many of the criminals I've caught have been executed once I handed them over. Mostly, I only handle cases that involve the loss of a lot of money, a lot of life, or both. Those murderers I've caught have usually killed so many people that they're lucky to get life in prison. Plus, I used the death of one criminal who was scheduled to be executed to narrow down Kira's identity, and I would have used two more to test the 13-day rule if that hadn't become unnecessary due to your actions. I justified it to myself by saying that they were going to die anyway, so if my tests went in one direction they'd live instead of dying, and if my tests went in the other direction they'd just have the same fate they'd already been sentenced to, except that it would end up helping my investigation too and potentially saving thousands of lives."
L itched one bare foot with the other and said, "It is particularly difficult with Light because I've never witnessed an execution before, and since it isn't a random criminal, but someone who was almost my friend. I wish I could have turned Kira over to the authorities, like the others, and then washed my hands of any responsibility."
L climbed up the side of the bowl-shaped depression, reached into the space between two branching tree limbs, and released his fan of red and yellow leaves, watching them swirl and flip in intricate patterns as they slowly fell to the ground.
Rem came up behind L and delicately stroked his hair. He was silent for a bit, and it seemed to her that his features relaxed slightly. L's eyes intently watched the forest spread out before him, flicking constantly between different instances of the ever-present falling leaves, like a continual magic rain of many colors.
L said, "Even though it's not me killing him, I feel like it is. I didn't even try to bargain with Ryuk to allow life imprisonment instead. Since I can't turn Light over to the authorities, if Ryuk had agreed I would have had to keep Light in my own custody, and I did not think I could do a good job of that with someone I'm so close to."
Rem said, "No, it never would have worked anyway. I think you've bribed Ryuk right up to his limit. Ryuk will do small favors for enough apples or amusement, but letting Light live out his natural lifespan would be a huge favor. If Ryuk isn't present to witness Light's death, Ryuk will die. Ryuk can't afford to take the risk he might wander off, lose track of the time, and fail to return to Light for that death."
"Do you think," L asked, "Ryuk will hesitate at the last moment and let Light live out of pity? Ryuk still hasn't written down anything."
"No, Ryuk thinks the very idea of a shinigami having feelings is ridiculous. Even if he has a few feelings for Light, he won't want to admit that to himself."
L's eyes lowered and he stared downward. He said, "Well, it would have been a useless thought to save Light in any case. If Light had been allowed to live, even in my custody in some kind of private jail, I'm sure Aizawa or Mogi would have gotten angry and leaked the truth to Interpol so they would be forced to arrest Kira."
"Come here," Rem said, pulling L toward her and then pushing him onto his back in the middle of the bowl-shaped depression, where the bottom was almost level.
Rem said, "You're trying to take on too much responsibility. The things you're thinking about are big issues that the entire world worries about. You don't have to add your thinking to all that. You should just do your best to forget about this, and let everything run its course. Stop thinking for today."
She pushed one hand underneath his shirt and started stimulating a nipple. She was rewarded by a shiver, two gasps, and a look of lust coming into L's eyes.
Rem said, "I think I would like to see the happiest face you can make. After all, this is a date. Aren't you supposed to get laid at the end of a date?"
A/N (Author's Note):
For those readers who've been really sick of Misa - I've now essentially gotten rid of Misa, and there will be almost no Misa in the remainder. So yay!
Also, here's a little teaser highlight from a future chapter: soon it will be revealed that a canon minor character has been following most of what's been happening, unknown to the main characters. Feel free to guess who it is in reviews; I don't think it's likely anyone will guess correctly.
Also, L and Rem's conversation about Mu is inspired partly by an essay called "All Humans Go to Mu" found on the DeviantART journal of MrsJeevas.
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The Sugar Cube Fort