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Fifty Days	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > Het-Male/Female > L/Misa Views: 2868 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
CHAPTER 21: Killer
The next morning, L stayed in bed. He felt utterly exhausted, every muscle sore as if he'd worked out too vigorously, but the soft bed and warm tangle of blankets were somehow comforting, and he kept closing his eyes and drifting back into a deep, dreamless sleep. Watari checked on him around noon.
L stirred sleepily in response to Watari's hand on his shoulder and then said, "I think I will sleep for another hour or two. I need a haircut. Also, would you prepare something different than I normally eat? Something with meat and vegetables?"
Watari said, "Yes, Ryuzaki. Matt has already run the test. Rem spent a lot of time this morning sitting on the roof of Misa's hospital. One of the test subjects is unable to see Rem."
L said, "We need to know for sure that it isn't ordinary paper, or we could end up wasting months. Please obtain at least a dozen subjects and set up interviews."
Watari said, "Yes."
L drifted back to sleep before Watari left the room.
When he finally woke up and decided not to drift back to sleep this time, he felt only a little rested. After a quick shower, he went to the main room, finding Wedy gone but Matt there playing video games on the largest monitor, sitting in the beanbag chair he favored so much.
Watari waved L over to a chair off to the side and pulled a large plastic smock around his shoulders. In the next few moments, L heard the snipping sounds of the shears as his haircut started. Good. Things needed to go back to normal. This haircut and gaining some weight would help.
Matt paused his game and said, "Watari told you what happened?"
"Yes," L said, "we almost certainly have Ryuk's paper. But it could still be a decoy, a piece of ordinary paper that would have been used in some unknown plan that has probably been abandoned by now. I will need to test it to be absolutely sure we don't waste a lot of time and have Kira murder more victims while we waste time."
Matt sat straight up. "You mean, you're going to kill someone? Wouldn't that make you just like Kira?"
"No, it will be an execution, done completely within the law, with the permission of a government. It would be no different than if I had applied for a job to execute death row inmates, except that the method of execution will be supernatural. I'm going to use the same procedures I used to select Lind L. Tailor. Watari is getting a list of criminals who are scheduled for execution within the next few days. I will go over each case so I can be sure they are indeed guilty, and then I will interview all of them, and ask for their permission to kill them."
"They would let you kill them?"
L watched as cut little pieces of his hair fell onto his lap, on the smock.
L said, "Yes. I will probably have more than one volunteer. I will explain that the test I'm running is part of the effort to catch Kira, and that it will almost certainly kill them. However, if they don't die as a result of the test, their upcoming execution will be cancelled and they will have life in prison instead. I will explain the risks as well as I understand them. It is the same offer I had last year for Lind L. Tailor and a number of other candidates who had been arrested and sentenced to death without any media attention. I had five volunteers that time, and I chose Lind L. Tailor based on his name."
Watari said, "Most people who are dying will clutch at any chance to survive, no matter how small that chance is."
"Yeah," Matt said, "I get it, I was just surprised at first, before I'd really thought about it."
L felt Watari fluffing his hair, and then a mirror was being held in front of him. It looked like his hair usually did, exactly right.
L said, "Excellent work, Watari. Would you mind getting breakfast now?"
"Yes, it is all prepared and kept warm. I will go get the cart."
L gingerly peeled off the smock, shaking the bits of his hair off onto the floor, to be picked up later. Then he pushed a wheeled chair next to Matt and hopped into it.
L said, "Could I join your game?"
"Sure. I'll just add another player. Since when do you wake up in the middle of the afternoon or eat a hot breakfast?"
L picked up the game controller to select his player, and then said, "You and Watari are both correct. I'm not living a healthy lifestyle, and it could affect my ability to work on the case."
Matt began to play, and as he pushed buttons on his controller, he said, "You got sick of prank-calling people for sixteen hours a day, didn't you?"
L began to play too, and said, "Yes, and it isn't the most productive use of my time. Sometimes there are long stretches on a case where no progress is made, because there aren't any new leads that turn out to be useful. Patience is a characteristic a good detective needs, and I've been lacking it lately because I've been too anxious to see this case closed. The current Kira is killing about a hundred people every day, so each hour I don't work seems almost like a crime, but I can't let myself break down."
"Well, the three of us will help you now that we've got Ryuk's paper, right? And if you ever get really frustrated you could always give a few hundred people the ability to see Ryuk and station them all over Tokyo. You know, if you're more worried about catching Kira and less worried about leaks or betrayals."
"Yes, it might come to that, but we should wait a few months first. Before then, I think I'll add one more worker, but this one won't be coming to headquarters. I will direct him remotely."
Matt was silent for a few minutes as they both directed their characters on the screen. L tried to remember the last time he'd played a video game. Three months? It had been with Light, during the time when there had been no new leads on the Kira case and very little activity of any kind other than tallying each day's deaths and trying to see patterns in it. Still, he hadn't allowed himself much time for fun even when it wasn't possible to be productive. Despite the lull in the case, he'd spent far more time just moping in a chair than doing anything entertaining.
Is that how I am? I do almost nothing other than work?
Well, there were a few things. Going to concerts, amusement parks, museums and tourist attractions. Taking walks outside. Reading books and researching, though much of that was related to cases or to knowledge that might someday be useful on a case. And then there was meditation and exercise, mainly practicing capoeira, but occasionally a little tennis. Almost all of the non-work activities were done alone, and in comparison to the work, took up a very small percentage of waking hours.
Watari entered the room, pushing a cart with many covered plates on it, a little fragrant steam rising. He said, "Sorry it took so long. The asparagus had gotten cold and I needed to re-warm it."
Matt almost dropped his controller. "Asparagus, for breakfast? You are going crazy, Ryuzaki. Or are you trying to prove you're better than me because I smoke?"
L said, "I'm trying to gain weight."
"Asparagus doesn't make you fat! Cake and doughnuts make you fat."
"I'm afraid in my case that isn't true. If I eat in a more healthy way I'll gain a few pounds."
L paused the game and began to lift the food covers one by one to inspect the foods. He wrinkled his nose in distaste at the asparagus, but it was shiny with some kind of glaze. It shouldn't be too bad. He put some on his plate, then sorted through the other food, adding to his plate some fish, potatoes, brown rice mixed with scrambled eggs and sliced leeks, and some kind of quiche. Perhaps one meal a day like this wouldn't be too bad. He settled back down in his chair and began playing the video game again with one hand, while using the fork in his other hand to stab out little bites of the food and steadily eat through everything he'd put on his plate, trying to get through it by sheer force of will.
If I can be brave enough to confront Kira, I can certainly win against this food.
Matt said, "Killing a criminal with Ryuk's paper, could I do it instead of you?"
"No."
"Why not?"
L said, "There are unknown consequences, possibly very serious ones, for anyone who kills with a murderer's notebook. While Light was confessing, he said that anyone who has used one cannot go to heaven or hell."
"Shit, that sounds serious. Do you believe it?"
"I do not like to think about an afterlife, Matt, because I like things I can test, and I am not sure if anything about life after death can be tested. If I were going to accept teachings about what can happen to a person after death, I would not want to trust information from a shinigami. But, if some unpleasant fate will happen to me because of writing down Light's name, then I would rather not inflict that fate on more people."
Matt yelled at the screen and made a few quick moves with his character to evade an enemy, then said, "So, if it's true, then you'd be like Jack O'Lantern. He trapped the devil and made him promise not to let him into hell, and he wasn't good enough to get into heaven, so he wanders the earth forever as a ghost with a glowing pumpkin."
L snorted and said, "There are any number of figures in folklore and mythology who are barred from both heaven and hell. And, yes, the typical result is to wander the earth forever. I hope that's not true. I suppose the earth isn't a bad place to be, but it would get boring if I couldn't interact with anything, and forever is a very long time. Also, I'd rather not spend eternity with Misa and Light."
A sudden image leapt into L's mind. If this whole ridiculous line of reasoning was right, would that mean Light's ghost was lurking around, watching the proceedings? A chill ran up L's spine at the thought.
Matt said, "Well, you'd have Raye Penber on your side. He'd probably beat up Misa and Light and keep them from bothering you. I bet he'd be completely pissed about getting tricked into writing on the paper, and then his girlfriend gets killed and he can't even go to the same afterlife as her."
Meeting gods of death and seeing a magic notebook that killed people, it did make you think about the afterlife and the supernatural and fate and every last creature of mythology. If there were gods of death, were there other strange things as well? And, what about those lifespans that could be seen with the shinigami eyes? If everyone had a day of death determined in advance, then did fate truly operate? Could fate be thwarted, or was it absolute? If fate was absolute, did free will exist?
And, since the shinigami realm existed as a place separate from earth and having a unique set of natural laws, then were there other weird realms of existence as well? Many of those thoughts led into odd and disturbing places, with none of the normal boundaries that would limit speculations. One of the nice things about science was that it kept things simple and reasonable, but there were things out there that went beyond science. How far beyond did they go?
L allowed his thoughts to wander into more and more morbid speculations about his ultimate fate and about what, if anything, Light was up to now. Then he shook off those thoughts and immersed himself into the video game. He couldn't keep up with Matt, but it really was quite fun. He didn't notice that a few hours had passed until Watari re-entered the room and said, "Ryuzaki, I have moved everything from your bedroom to a new bedroom two floors down. The sound testing I've done indicates screams do not carry from there to any of the other bedrooms. Would you like me to move my bedroom to that floor as well, in case you need my assistance?"
"Excellent work, Watari. Yes, I would like that, if you are not bothered by the thought of noise."
"I do not mind at all. Besides, if Kira ever attacks this location, I would rather that nobody was completely separated from the rest. Now, how much should I pack for your trip? Three days' worth of clothing?"
Matt said, "Where are you going?"
L said, "I will be coming to Wammy's House for Christmas. Watari, pack clothing for a week, but I will probably not be there so long. Make sure you have Roger tell Mello that he is expected to behave in such a way that my identity will still be hidden from all the others, and if Mello is successful he'll get more points for it. If either Near or Linda sees Mello paying any more attention to me than he did before, they'll begin to suspect. Matt, that goes for you too."
Just then, Wedy walked into the room, her boots tapping on the floor. L watched her reflection in the monitor as he continued to play the video game.
Matt said, "We'll have to arrive on different days, right?"
"Yes," L said, "I will send you back on the twenty-first, right after Hideki Ryuga dies. You should stay here long enough to see that operation to the end. I will arrive with Watari a day or two later."
Wedy asked, "You're all going somewhere?"
L said, "We're going on Christmas vacation. You should see your family as well, Wedy. You can have up to a week off, unless an emergency comes up that requires your expertise."
Wedy said, "Sounds good. Project Yumiko isn't going as expected. Our con man reported Yumiko never showed up to work. I went out to check on it, and she's working for her Uncle Izumi's paper company."
L paused the game and said, "That doesn't make sense. She hates him bitterly. She's said she'd rather die than work there."
After thinking about it a few moments, L said, "Watari, I think this has something to do with Yumiko's promise to figure out what I'm really planning. Please investigate it thoroughly. Also, make sure the story about Misa's stalker gets leaked even if we have to hire a few more con men or women to get close to her in different ways."
Watari said, "I will get to work on it immediately," and left the room.
Wedy said, "So, the prank call express isn't running today?"
"No, my health has been breaking down, so I'm taking a rest."
Matt said, "Ryuzaki ate asparagus and fish today! You should have seen it."
Wedy raised an eyebrow and said, "Really? What a surprise."
L looked at the clock. It was after six in the evening, and very little had been done. Worse yet, he was already starting to feel tired again, even though he'd only been up a few hours.
I really should call Aiber one last time before he dies, and I should visit Misa soon, and I should talk to Ide to test his feelings on the idea of joining the investigation again, and there are several additional things I could do instead of working on Matt's list.
But, L just felt too tired. A lot of things should be done, but only one was urgent. He'd promised to call NPA Deputy-Director Kitamura once each day until the Hideki Ryuga incident had been resolved. L went to a room far from the noise of Matt's video game, a room that had been outfitted as an exercise area. It was large and spacious, with half of it full of exercise equipment and the other half an open area with mats on the floor, for practicing martial arts and for stretching.
L locked the door, and then went to the middle of the open area, lay on his back, and called Kitamura. He confirmed that the letter with his instructions had been received and no hitches in the plan had taken place yet.
Kitamura said, "Do you think Kira will be apprehended soon?"
L replied, "It might be very soon, or it could be many months. Please do be sure you save all videos and documentation relating to the deaths of all the people you take into custody. It will likely be needed at Kira's trial."
With that, L hung up. He felt a little more ready to deal with things, and went into a series of warm-up stretches. His muscles were tight. It had been too long, and spending a lot of time in a straightjacket and shackles had obviously led to some atrophy. After the stretches, he went into a series of practice kicks, noting how everything was slightly off, and how it was tiring him faster than usual. This needed to become a daily routine again. This, and one healthy meal a day, and more sleep, and some relaxation during the day. Working on Matt's list should be reduced to perhaps six hours a day. Watari was right, it wasn't a very productive way to search for Kira, and a lead investigator should do more leading, and less grunt work. Tasks needed to be delegated.
When L had tired himself out with exercise, he felt strangely energized. He pulled out his cellphone and called Aiber.
Aiber answered with, "Ah, Ryuzaki, it's a wonderful day, isn't it?"
"Yes, yes it is."
L heard an indistinct shout in the background, and Aiber said, "Dear, it's just my boss. Don't worry; I won't let him drag me away from my Christmas vacation. Here, let me go outside so you don't have to hear me discuss work. You know, I might have to swear at him. It would be better away from innocent little ears."
A child murmured something, and the woman's voice answered back, still too far in the background to be understandable. Then L heard a door open and close.
L said, "Aiber, are you doing well? Is there anything you need?"
Aiber answered, "Things are as good as they can possibly be. I know why you're calling. You feel bad about what happened, and you think you need to say something to me to make it better."
L was suddenly seeing the chaos of the attack on headquarters, the short argument between investigators as an angry mob seemingly formed out of nowhere and began attacking the entrances, an argument cut short by four men dropping to the floor clutching their chests at the same moment. All of them looked angry, upset, betrayed. But Matsuda and Soichiro had had the most haunted faces of all.
Aiber continued, "You don't need to worry about me. You know, I could have chosen to run home to safety, but I like a challenge, I like danger. I couldn't resist."
L said, "There is a benefit fund I set up for situations like this-"
Aiber interrupted, "It's completely unnecessary. Let it go to the other families, especially the Yagamis. God knows they deserve it. My family is going to be quite surprised when they get all the money I extracted from Yotsuba."
L said, "I shouldn't take time away from your family. Goodbye, Aiber."
"No, no, I have ten minutes. Why don't we talk about when you caught me? You're the best opponent I ever had. Before you, I was beginning to think things were going to get flat and dull from then on. I'd gotten to a level where I couldn't find real challenges anymore."
And then, it wasn't ten minutes they talked but rather a little more than half an hour. L could hear Aiber pacing as he talked, the outdoor wind blowing from time to time, and the excited, happy tone in Aiber's voice soothed him. This was a man who wasn't afraid of death. Perhaps, as a danger addict, he even welcomed it.
Death was the ultimate adventure, wasn't it? Either you stopped existing, or you went into some state of existence that was so extremely unknown that people had argued about it since the very beginning of history, and probably long before that. It was uncharted territory. Every religion had something to say about it, but they didn't agree with each other. Only the dead truly knew, if they knew anything.
When L finished the conversation and hung up, he had a good feeling. Probably, Aiber was fine. Either that, or he was pulling one last con, to make those around him happy as he died. It wouldn't be possible to know the difference between the two situations but perhaps, for Aiber, there really was no difference. Conning made Aiber happy, so even if it was indeed a con, he was getting some happiness from it.
Yes, while still in this good mood, it was time to call Ide and test him for any potential issues. If Aiber could face death with such cheerfulness, then it should not be too difficult to face Ide. He was a little trouble, but that could be good as long as you knew the extent of the issues and prepared for them. There were no perfect subordinates, and a complete unknown would be worse than Ide.
L called, and when Ide gruffly answered, L said, "This is L. Deputy-Director Kitamura told me you would like to join the Kira investigation team."
Ide said, "How do I know it's you?"
L launched into a description of every member of the task force Ide had met, and had begun to go into detail about what had happened at each of the meetings before the task force started meeting with him personally in hotel rooms when Ide said, "Okay, okay, I believe you. You're L. So, what should we do?"
"First, you should not call me L, even on the phone. Call me Ryuzaki from now on."
"Well, Ryuzaki, how do I know you're not Kira? You must have known the identities of those twelve FBI agents, and every officer sent to you has died, but you survived. You know everyone Kira has killed. Early in the investigation, there were some criminal psychologists who said L was Kira."
"If I were Kira, you'd already be dead for asking that question. Also, if I were Kira and I wanted to kill off NPA officers, the stupidest plan would be to kill all those who accepted an offer to work with me."
Ide's voice was irritated and angry as he said, "What happened to Aizawa? Before I agree to anything, I need to know. When we cornered Kira, he died in front of us, so who killed Aizawa and the others?"
"I should tell you that I am using a decentralized approach this time with the new investigation team. For your own protection and everyone else's, you will not be allowed to know much more than what you are working on individually. For that reason, I can never tell you the full story of everything that led to Aizawa's death, except perhaps at Kira's trial, if Interpol allows me to give you that much security clearance. If you are comfortable with these conditions, I will tell you as much as I can about those events. Do you agree?"
Ide sighed. "Yes. Get on with it."
L said, "Aizawa and the others died because of several mistakes, some of them my own. I allowed the investigation to become too centralized, and I tried to trap Kira without first securing the second Kira. Aizawa and the others were killed by the second Kira when it was obvious the first Kira had been captured."
"Higuchi wasn't Kira? Or he was? Aizawa said something about you arresting the wrong suspects in the beginning, but then when we arrived at the arrest, it was Higuchi. Was he arrested before and let go?"
"I cannot tell you very much about the previous Kiras, but we are currently pursuing the fourth Kira. If you decide to work with us, you will be assigned to surveillance duty. You must be willing to hold back if you find Kira. Moving in too fast will likely result in the production of a fifth Kira. The capture needs to be done with extreme stealth and in very specific ways."
Ide said, "It's true then, what the second Kira's video said about sharing the power?"
"Yes. For each of the three previous Kiras, I failed to capture them in a way that would prevent the power from being passed to a new person. It is essential that the same mistake is not made with the fourth Kira."
"What Higuchi said at the scene, about writing names in a notebook to kill, was that true? Is that how Kira's power works?"
L said, "I will not confirm or deny that. If you are willing to work with me on this case, you will need to be comfortable having only partial information."
"When Aizawa and myself were working off the record to investigate Kira, when the NPA had been threatened into not opposing Kira, there were about thirty other guys who sometimes helped us. We were able to call on all of those officers plus a few others to form the police blockade to stop Higuchi's escape. Ryuzaki, if you're serious about pursuing Kira, why not return to the NPA and accept help from all of them? As long as the work is secret and unofficial, none of us should be in danger of getting killed by Kira, right? Most of the guys who quit before would be willing to help you under those circumstances, especially if you show your face to them."
L said, "I may recruit some of them, but I believe that this time a decentralized approach and greater secrecy are essential. The men who died under my command were too closely connected to each other and to myself. It was a big mistake. Kira was able to know the entire extent of the investigation, and then was able to strike. I also believe that the more people I involve in this, the greater the chance that Kiras will spawn endlessly instead of having the entire phenomenon stop permanently."
Ide sighed and said, "Did you at least get the shit who killed Aizawa?"
"That Kira is currently completely immobilized, and there should be a trial once I've managed to get a few more things done to completely prove their guilt. It might be a secret trial, so you might not hear about it, but if we can put the fourth Kira on trial you would probably be told everything at that time and also be called as a witness. Are these arrangements suitable? Are you still willing to join the investigation?"
"Yes, I think so. You say I'll only be doing surveillance?"
"You are correct. You will watch things and then send in reports. There will not be any face-to-face meetings except once with Watari at the very beginning. You will not be told about the progress of the investigation except the parts that pertain to your own activities."
"How do I know you're not just using me as bait to draw out Kira? If I die, then you'll know who Kira is, right?"
"You will end up being bait if you try to approach Kira on your own, or if you react to finding Kira by screaming or otherwise giving away your position. As long as you are very careful, none of those things should happen, but there is a risk for it."
"Why would I scream? Wait, is this like what happened to the chief?"
L said, "Yes. There is a monster that follows Kira around. I would like to give you the ability to see that monster, and then have you stake out areas where I expect Kira might be. Do you think you can contain yourself, to not scream or stare or otherwise give any sign of what you have seen?"
"I, I think so."
"Good. Your NPA record for surveillance work has been excellent. I will contact you again in two or three days with further instructions."
"That long? Why not now?"
"I have one more experiment to conduct, to determine if it is possible to give you the ability to see Kira's monster."
"Fine. I'll wait for your call."
Ide's voice still held a tone of impatience and irritation. L hung up and continued staring at the ceiling. Was Ide trustworthy? He was angry and bitter about Aizawa's death, but that wasn't a problem. Given Ide's character, there was little chance that he'd try to grab the notebook for himself, or for authority figures such as the NPA itself or Interpol. He didn't trust in general, and that actually made him more trustworthy.
If Ide did decide to disobey orders, he'd simply burn the notebook before trying to place it in anyone else's hands. Ryuk's notebook probably wouldn't have the fake rules written in it, since it was never intended to be captured, so if Ide did see a chance to personally swoop in and grab the notebook, he'd have no reason to not destroy it.
It was three more days until the test subject was selected. L took that time to pore over their case files, needing to be sure of their guilt. Every single candidate on Watari's list was scheduled for execution within the next few days, was a repeat violent offender, had killed at least five people and had admitted it. These conditions made it likely they were all guilty, but it was possible a false confession could have been produced, such as to protect another person or because the so-called criminal was mentally ill.
L rejected one criminal from Watari's list for some suspicious circumstances regarding his convictions, and suggested to the authorities that the man needed a retrial. Then L interviewed each of the remaining criminals, explaining that he wished to use them as bait for Kira, and that there was almost no chance of surviving the test. That reduced the list to four volunteers.
Of those four, L selected the man who was the most enthusiastic about the idea, one who had a major grudge against Kira because most of his friends had died that way, Ernest Turril. L had one more interview with Ernest, telling him it was the last chance to back out, and that he'd have about one day to put everything in order and do any last actions before most likely being killed. Ernest was still enthusiastic, so when the day had gone by, L had Watari fetch the paper from the safe where it had been stored and called a meeting.
L sat at a counter in front of a bank of computers, with the paper in front of him, a pen dangling from his fingers, and a live video feed on the largest monitor showing Ernest Turril in a prison cell.
L said, "Everyone, please come close and watch me write the name. If we end up needing to destroy both notebooks, you will probably be called as witnesses at Misa's trial, to prove that writing names can really kill people."
As Matt, Wedy and Watari approached, L added, "You might be needed as witnesses at my trial too."
Matt said, "What?"
"For the murder of Light Yagami. I would like to hide that murder if I can, but it could be impossible to hide it and still tell enough of the truth about Misa to be fully convincing that she is the second Kira. At criminal trials, lies embedded in the truth can often unravel what would otherwise be a sure conviction."
Matt said, "You would let yourself be put on trial?"
L said, "I would present myself under a false name, and as L's employee rather than L himself. But, yes, I would willingly be put on trial if I can close the Kira case permanently. I will probably not get a harsh sentence because of the circumstances. If they do try to sentence me to more than two or three years, I will escape and disappear."
Wedy said, "I'll help you with that if you need it."
"Thank you."
L's eyes were drawn to the paper. Such a blank, pure piece of paper, with neat little ruled lines. It looked like completely ordinary notebook paper. He remembered writing down Light's name, and the instructions that followed. That had been a horrible experience from the very beginning, and the repercussions were still unfolding. Was this an awful mistake too? But, if this paper was to become a cornerstone for a major part of the investigation, nothing could be left to chance. Otherwise, there could be months of wasted effort.
L placed the pen on the paper and began writing:
Ernest Turril heart failure
Falls asleep immediately, and goes into a deep sleep. One minute after going to sleep, experiences completely painless heart failure that kills him.
L's eyes rose to the screen, and he was aware of Wedy and Matt crowding close, Wedy biting her lip as she watched the video, Matt breathing faster. Watari hung back just a bit, calm as always. He'd seen many deaths before.
After forty seconds Ernest looked as if he were trying to keep his eyes open, and then after just a few seconds he gave up the fight and slumped to the side on his cot. L kept looking at the clock, measuring off one minute. Right on time, Ernest's body convulsed, but his face looked serene, peaceful. Then medics were rushing into the cell, performing life-saving measures on him without result, their faces worried as it became increasingly clear the man was dead.
In an awed whisper, Matt said, "Anyone who had this could rule the world."
L replied, "That is why we cannot let either of the notebooks be taken by Interpol or the NPA or anyone else. If the notebooks need to be tested for the trial and still exist at that time, I will demonstrate them from an unknown location and then destroy them. Any organization or government that had a murderer's notebook would eventually try to take over the world, to force everything to unfold for its best interests."
L got up, handed Ryuk's paper back to Watari, and left the room. There was something sickening about killing someone, even a willing volunteer who would have died anyway, while others watched. The first time, killing Light, nobody had seen it.
L had only shown what he'd written to Watari after he was done writing it, with a tense, "I will deal with the consequences, Watari."
And then, immediately after that, there had been dealing with the task force, while Light was already beginning to confess, and the investigators were being traumatized with two types of shock all at once. First, that Light was Kira, and second, that L had killed Light in order to guarantee a confession.
As bad as that had been, killing for a second time using the notebook was still awful. This time there wasn't the pain of killing a long-standing acquaintance, but a complete stranger, and yet, it had been for a rather small reason, and the entire procedure was distasteful. And there was something about having spectators that made it feel extremely dirty. It felt like the kind of act that should happen alone in a silent room, behind closed doors, and not while watching the victim die.
I am a killer.
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Fifty Days