The Key to My Heart

Title: The Key to My Heart: Chapter 23
Author: JadeHeart
Archived: Found on gurabiteshiyon.net. If anyone else would like it, please ask me first!
Fandom: Gravitation
Rating: R
Warnings: angst, bad language
Timeline: After the anime/manga finishes.
Characters: Yuki/Jim/Ryuichi
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome! If I don’t get feedback, I don’t want to continue!
Summary: Just how far would Yuki go in search of Shuichi?
Author’s Notes: Just to let people know, after some encouragement, I’m re-posting Chapters 12, 13 and 14, all relating to the time in New York. I’ve put back in bits that I had originally written but took out at the time of posting. At this point, I’ve just done Chapter 12, the other two chapters will come shortly. Readers don’t have to feel that they need to go back and read these additions, they don’t change the story as it is up till now, it was just bits and pieces that I had enjoyed writing at the time! Cait, I liked your idea of Ryo reading Yuki’s books and couldn’t resist making reference to it!
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, they belong to the creators of ‘Gravitation’ , nor am I making any profits from this.


The Key to My Heart: Chapter 23


The phone was still ringing. Yuki had almost decided to hang up when he heard the connection click, and a voice answered, “Hello?”

“Harris.”

“Hey, is that you, Yuki? Man, where have you been? Have you called Tohma yet? He’s been bugging me for the past two days! Where the hell are you?”

Yuki brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Perhaps this had been a bad idea. He had them sometimes.

“I’m still in Quebec, and, yes, I’ve spoken to Tohma just now.”

“Thank god for that! Really, pal, you’ve got to stop doing this to him. You’re gonna give him a coronary one day!”

“No one asked him to worry.”

Jim let out a small chuckle. “Well, glad to see that you haven’t changed any. So, what’s up?”

“Just wanted to let you know that I’ve found him.”

“No way! For real?! Man, oh, man, that is just great!”

Suddenly Jim’s voice became a little fainter, as though he had turned his head from the phone. Yuki took the opportunity to tap some ash from his cigarette, before placing it back in his mouth. “Stop that….I said, stop it, will you! You idiot!”

Yuki picked up his drink, wondering who Jim was talking to.

“Yuuuuuukkkkiiii!! Yuki! Yuki! Yuki! Yuki! YUUUUKKKKIII!!!”

As the incredibly loud cry penetrated his ear drum at exploding levels of decibels, phone, drink and cigarette all ended up in his lap.

“FUCK!!!!” he shouted, leaping up, trying to frantically brush a burning cigarette away from his privates and stomp on it before it charred the carpet, brush futilely at the cold ice cubes and liquid that had also soaked said privates, and try and grab the phone that had bruised that same sensitive area, before it drowned in the resultant mess on the floor.

Cursing and swearing still, he managed to get the phone back to his ear and almost screamed down it, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??!!”

“Ah, sorry about that, Yuki.’ Jim said, apologetically. “I’ve got a …..guest with me currently. No, no, don’t………….Ryuichi!!”

Jim’s voice faded away, and was replaced by another, one that Yuki didn’t hear too often, thank goodness.

“Yuki, Yuki, Yuki!!” the exuberance seemed to pour down the line. “Oh, Yuki, where are you? Are you in there?” A tapping sound against the phone. “It’s very small in there, are you sure you can fit?”

“What do you want, Ryuichi?” he growled out. He couldn’t take this! He just couldn’t take any more of this! Someone really does hate him.

“It is you! It is, it is, it is! Are you okay? Tohma was very worried about you. So was Kumagoro. Weren’t you, Kumagoro?”

“I’m fine. Let me talk to Harris.”

“Oh, Jim’s busy at the moment. He’s got his head in his hands and holding it like it really hurts. I think he might be sick.”

Yuki understood exactly how Jim felt. He could feel a headache beginning.

“What are you doing there, Ryiuchi?” he finally asked. He obviously wasn’t going to get rid of the idiot any time soon.

“Oh, I’m with Jim.”

Yuki mentally sighed, and tried another tack. “Where are you?”

“In New York. Jim’s staying here for awhile, aren’t you? Do you want an aspirin?” The last was obviously directed at a distressed Jim in a very solicitous voice.

Yuki heard a muffled response, but couldn’t make it out clearly. Something perhaps about gun, bullet and brain. At least Jim had all that on hand. Yuki didn’t quite have that option.

He glanced down at himself. He was standing here in a puddle of scotch and melting ice, with soaked pants, and talking to a moron. Could his life get any worse?

“Ryuichi, I want to talk to Harris. Put him back on.”

“Don’t you want to talk to me, Yuki? Why don’t you want to talk to me? You can talk to Kumagoro if you would rather.”

“I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to talk to your creepy toy. Put me back to Harris.” Yuki said with clenched teeth.

“But, Yuki!” Yuki could hear the tremor in the wail, the sound of tears forming. He sighed. It was just like Shuichi could sound. How could these two be so much alike, and yet be so different. He sighed again, feeling weary. This night was becoming too much. First Tohma, now this.

“Ryuichi, I have important things I need to speak to Harris about. Please,” and he hated having to beg to this idiot. “Can you give the phone back to him?”

Suddenly, Ryuichi’s voice changed, dropping the innocent childlike quality it usually held. Now it was firm, intense, and adult.

“So, you finally found him.”

The change made Yuki pause for a moment. He had seen this transformation a few times over the years of his association with Ryuichi, through Tohma. He had avoided having much to do with Nittle Grasper’s lead singer, mainly because of his strange personality. It had grated on Yuki, but he was still amazed at this sudden switch that could come without warning. One minute Ryuichi was an annoying brat, the next a man to be reckoned with. Right now, Yuki was dealing with the man.

“Yes.” he answered.

“Where?” Ryuichi continued to sound quite calm.

“Here in Quebec.”

“How is he?”

“He still doesn’t remember. Tohma’s going to speak to his family and arrange whatever needs to happen.”

“Good. Tohma will make certain everything is organized properly.”

“I know.”

“So how is Shuichi to you?”

“He looks okay.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Yuki didn’t quite know how to speak to the adult Ryuichi. There were undercurrents in his conversation that reminded him disturbingly of Tohma. “He doesn’t remember anyone yet.”

“Does he still sparkle?”

It had taken Yuki a long time to understand this term that Ryuichi, and also Shuichi, used. “Yes. Yes, he still sparkles. Just not in the same way.” How Yuki wished that he was the same!

“Hmm. He will. He can’t hide from that.” There was silence for a moment. Yuki didn’t know how to fill it. “What did he say about you?” Ryuichi then asked.

“What do you mean?”

“When you told him you were his lover.” Ryuichi said forthrightly.

“I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“None of your business.” Yuki grated out, feeling a touch of anger building at what he considered prying into his personal life.

“Love doesn’t just go away. It may be buried, it may be forgotten, it may be set aside, even eventually die, but it doesn’t just disappear. You need to tell him. You need to make him see that part of who he is. Love is what makes him sparkle the brightest.”

Yuki listened to Ryuichi’s words, his heart thumping hard in his chest. How could a man who could be such a complete and utter moron, sometimes be so insightful, able to reach right down to the bottom of his soul, and drag out what was hidden in the shadows, those most secret desires.

“I don’t think it matters now.”

“You’re a fool, Yuki.” Ryuichi said bluntly.

“How dare…” Yuki began angrily, when a squeal screamed down the line making him jerk the phone away from his ear.

“Kumagoro attack, Jim! Wake up, wake up, wake up, Mr Policeman! Mr Grumpy Yuki wants to talk to you! You can’t go to sleep. That’s not very polite. Come on, come on, come on! I want some ice-cream, can we get some ice-cream? Please, please, please? Can we?”

Yuki heard Jim’s voice become clearer. He had obviously managed to rescue the phone from the now switched Ryuichi. “Yes, we can get some ice-cream later, but first let me finish speaking to Yuki, okay?”

“Yes, yes, that’s fine! Don’t be long! Ryuichi wants ice-cream. Kumagoro wants some too! He wants chocolate chip. Broooommm, broooom, look we’re flying!” and the sounds faded off into the distance.

“Yuki?” Jim’s weary voice sounded on the phone.

“Yeah.” He heard Jim’s deep sigh.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine.”

“No matter how many times I see him like that, it still scares the hell out of me.”

“What, his switching personalities?”

“Yeah. One minute he’s just a big stupid kid. The next he’s…well, I wouldn’t even call him ‘normal’, even then. He’s just so….intense, when he changes. He’s downright frightening when he’s like that. It’s as though….he can somehow see into the bottom of your heart. I’d rather put up with all his silly antics and getting whacked over the head with his kuma-goo-goo thing, than face him when he’s in that mind.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I don’t know how Tohma puts up with him.”

Yuki shrugged. “They seem to get along fine. Perhaps he’s just used to him.”

“Maybe. Look, I’d better keep this short before Ryu decides to burn something down, or drown himself, or….whatever. Tohma would kill me if I let anything happen to him.”

“How come he’s with you?”

“He contacted me a while ago. He had heard you and Tohma had been in New York, I think he must have been speaking with Tohma. Anyway, he’s been calling me nearly every day, as well as calling Tohma, to find out how things are going. Admittedly the conversations usually amount to him managing to ask me coherently if there was any news, I say no, and then it deteriorates from there. But as regular as clockwork, he’d ring. Then a couple of days ago, he suddenly called me and told me to meet him in here in New York. He was in his serious mind at that time, which I took to mean it was something pretty damn serious. So I headed back here. I’ve been baby-sitting him since.”

“Two days ago, huh.” Yuki pondered, looking around for his cigarettes. They were too far away for him to reach, damn it!

“Yeah. I think he had realized Tohma was worried because he hadn’t heard from you, and so he was going to do something about it.” Jim chuckled. “For all that he’s an idiot, he really does care about Tohma, and he’s not quite as stupid as most people think. He does pay attention to what is going on around him. It’s just not always in the same way that everyone else would respond to it.”

“I know. Look, don’t worry about anything. Tohma’s on it. He’s in his usual Machiavellian mode, so there’s nothing that’s going to stand in his way. He’s going to sort out things to get Shuichi’s family and the band out here to meet him. There’s nothing that you need to do anymore. By the way, since you’re in New York, call Maclean and Laytner and tell them, will you?”

“Don’t you think they’d rather hear it from you direct?”

“What’s the difference hearing it from me, or you?

“Oh, come on, Yuki! Those boys busted their butts for you, and in their own time. Show a little appreciation!”

“Look, I’ll talk them sometime later, alright. Just not now!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll call them. I know they’ll be glad to hear the good news.”

“If it makes you feel better, tell Ryo I’ll send him a signed first edition of my very first book.”

Jim laughed. “Oh, he’s just going to love that! Although, I think Dee might shoot you for it. Ryo’ll be so wrapped up in the book, he wont be paying any attention to him!”

“That’s his problem. Tell him to get friendly with his hand.”

“You are just so damn cruel!”

“He’ll live. Anyway, there’s nothing else.”

“So, you’ve obviously spoken to Shu. Are you going to be doing so again?”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t sound that happy about it. What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Right. You’ve just found the love of your life, and you sound like you’re about to throw yourself under a bus. What gives?” Yuki said nothing. “Okay, let me take a stab in the dark here. He doesn’t remember you. Am I right?” Yuki still said nothing. “So, then, I’ll go on. Not only does he not remember you, you’ve been too gutless to actually tell him anything. How am I doing so far?”

“I think you’re as big an idiot as Ryuichi.” Yuki growled.

Jim laughed. “Sometimes that kid’s got smarts! He figured you out quick enough! Seriously though, you’ve got to tell him. It’s not like you can exactly keep it a secret from him forever. As soon as he starts talking to other people from his past and goes back to Japan, it’s going to be everywhere. Wouldn’t it be better for him to learn about it before that?”

“I’ll think of something.”

“I never took you for a coward.” Jim said a little sharply.

“Keep you own fucking opinions to yourself!” Yuki snarled back. This conversation could degenerate from here very quickly.

“Okay, okay! Keep your shirt on! Have it your own way!” Jim’s voice softened a little. “But think about it.”

“Huh!”

“Alright, I’ll leave it with you and Tohma. I’ll call Ryo and Dee, and see if I can keep Ryuichi out of trouble. Even better, if I can manage to off-load him now! By the way, just in case you’re interested in knowing, they wrapped up the investigation of the crash.”

Yuki was silent for a moment before speaking. “And?”

“It was caused by a straight forward mechanical fault. I wont bore you with the details, but there was nothing suspicious about it all.”

“So it was all for nothing.”

“Maybe. Better to be safe, than sorry, don’t you think? Can’t say that they didn’t try to be conscientious.”

“What a waste of time.”

“So, when are you going to see Shu next?”

Yuki looked at his watch. It was about time for him to go. “Now.”

“Okay, I’ll let you go. I’m looking forward to actually meeting him one day!”

“If you think Ryuichi is bad, Shuichi is about the same.”

“Geez! Two of them?”

“Yeah. They look a bit alike, and they even sound pretty similar. Not to mention the way they behave.”

“They even act the same way?”

“Pretty much.”

“I shudder to think.” Jim replied. “You’ve got to be kidding me. There can’t be two people like Ryuichi!”

“If you meet Shuichi, you’ll realize that there can be.” Yuki assured him with some evil delight.

“Surely, he can’t be quite as bad though? I mean, Tohma never mentioned that he had a split personality like Ryu.”

“Oh, he has a split personality alright. Shuichi’s an idiot.”

Jim let out a loud laugh. “Who’s the bigger idiot? The idiot, or the one who follows the idiot? Good luck tonight!” and the he hung up.

Yuki looked at the now silent hand piece. Who was the idiot, he wondered?

Suddenly he became aware of his uncomfortable state. The spilt drink on his trousers had dried a little, leaving the material stiff and sticky. Glancing down, he noticed that the stain on the front of his pants could be misconstrued to meaning something else, not a good look to foster. He couldn’t go out looking like this. Damn it, he was going to have to shower and change. Again! Twice tonight already! There better not be a third bloody time!

He stormed towards the bathroom, thinking dark thoughts.