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Zoro Learns Some Manners	By : Synvamp Category: +M to R > One Piece Views: 13746 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I don't earn any money from writing this story & I don't own One Piece or any of the characters from it

Chapter List
- 22
- 23
Post Script:-

Popkin16 suggested that I might do a follow up piece to my story "Zoro Learns Some Manners". I loved the idea and I keep getting mugged by plot bunnies - they all seem to be for short pieces though. Go figure! Here is the first of my musings on where Zoro and Sanji might be a few years down the track XD

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PART ONE

"Umm… what the hell are you doing?" Those perfect fierce blue eyes pinned the swordsman to the spot. This was right, wasn't it?

"I'm carrying you over the threshold." He stared down at the frazzled blonde in his arms with a confused frown.

Sanji's limbs shot out so fast it nearly knocked the swordsman off balance. He clung to the door frame like his life depended on it.

"THE FUCK YOU ARE!" He screamed. A little old lady in a pink dressing gown up the corridor fumbled her keys and looked alarmed.

"Very lady-like," Zoro mumbled into the blonde's ear, "now let go, I can't get you in the door like this."

"I am not letting go!" Sanji wriggled and squirmed like a damn octopus and nearly hit his head on the door handle. Zoro reluctantly put him down. No honeymoon sex if the idiot gave himself a concussion.

"There." The swordsman grumbled. "Now what?" The poor old biddy finally got her door open and practically fell inside in her efforts to get away. Sanji huffed and straightened his tie. He pulled at his cuffs, turned his cuff-links and then brushed his pants. Zoro figured he was meant to feel guilty for crumpling the blonde's perfect wedding suit. He didn't.

The cook finally stopped fussing like a prom queen and gave Zoro that heated stare again. He felt all his blood rush to his groin. Damn love-cook was wasting time!

"If anything, I should be carrying you across…" Sanji grinned and cocked an eyebrow.

Zoro just stared at him. Carry. Me. Across?

Zoro grabbed the smug cook by the waist and threw him over his shoulder.

"Hey! YOU CAN'T DO THAT YOU UNROMANTIC ASSHOLE PUT ME DOWN!"

He copped a couple of mighty kicks to the guts, but boy; it was worth it.

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PART TWO

Sanji felt the heat of the sunshine on the bedding. It slowly crept up, until his whole body was starting to overheat. Zoro's breath was tickling his ear and he wanted to get up and make breakfast. It was practically brunch time by now anyway! Nami would probably be grumpy…

He turned over and made to swing his legs out of bed. The strong arms - which up until now had just been at his side - wrapped him up in a determined embrace. Zoro mumbled something in his sleep and wriggled one leg between the blonde's slender thighs. The swordsman sighed contentedly and squeezed him just a little tighter.

"Damn Marimo, let me go… I have to make breakfast baka," he said, his voice stern but nowhere near as loud as he had intended it. Zoro's fingers swept up his chest and his nose burrowed further into Sanji's hair. The cook could tell he was still asleep. He did this all the time, as well as insisting that they have a sleep-in together on Sundays Zoro also immobilised him every time he tried to leave the bed.

For someone who was meant to be so fiercely independent, he sure liked to snuggle. Idiot.

"Marimo, let me go!" He grumbled, as he wriggled lamely against the swordsman's muscled chest.

"Mmmf…" Zoro mumbled into his hair and pressed his body flush against Sanji's back.

It was time to rely on the only thing that seemed to get through this idiot's head when he was fast asleep. He had to say his name, just so. Then the idiot knew it was him and he was serious. Sanji liked to think it was Zoro's uncanny battle-sense for self preservation. After all, if he didn't have at least one way to wake the lazy bastard up then he probably would have killed him by now…

"Zoro! Let. Me. Go."

"Love you too… love cook…" mumbled the swordsman. Still asleep.

Damn it marimo. Now I feel guilty and embarrassed.

Fuck it.

"You're such a damn pain."

They could wait. They could all wait.

Sanji wriggled back and let Zoro wrap him up. Calloused fingers traced his stomach muscles and then gently but firmly turned him over.

"I know, I know. I'm the biggest pain in your perfect ass. Now come here." Zoro pressed his lips to the cook's and pulled their hips together.

Definitely awake.

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PART THREE

"Zoooooooroooooo…" The pitch of Luffy's whine soared until it cut through even the swordsman's well cultivated nap. "…can I have some meat?"

The First Mate ignored his Captain's plaintive wail and continued to lap up the sunshine.

"Zoooooooroooooo…. I'm really hungryyyyyyyyyy…" Zoro's brow twitched as Luffy hit that awful note. Damn love-cook was the only one who normally bitched like that. He was teaching Luffy bad habits. The swordsman kept his eyes closed, took a deep breath and concentrated on the feeling of the deck rocking gently below him. The cool ocean breeze…

"Zoro!" Luffy grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him vigorously. "Wake up!"

"Damn it Luffy!" Zoro growled as he finally realised that his nap was well and truly over.

"I'm huuuu.."

"Go ask Sanji!"

"I diiiiiiid…" Luffy stared at Zoro with wide, innocent eyes. Even after all the years they had been travelling together and all that they had been through, he still looked seventeen. Zoro sighed. Not this damn game again.

"No." Zoro said.

"Pleeeeeaseeeeeee…"

"No!"

"But he alllllways says yes to you!"

"No Luffy! If Sanji said no, then I say no too!" For fuck's sake. Since when had they adopted a damn monkey?!

"You could just ASK him!"

Zoro stared up at the heavens and wondered what the hell he did to deserve this kind of luck. Damn Sanji. If only the blonde wasn't so ridiculously hot.

Curse that ass and all it made him do.

"Luffy, I'm not doing it!"

"But Sanji's your wife!"

Zoro's eyes widened and he scratched his nose to stifle a smile. They might be married, but...

Oh, Luffy. You have no idea.

We might have gone through most of everything the Grand Line could throw, but kiddo - you ain't seen nothing yet.

"I'll get him to give you some meat if you tell him that," the swordsman said, careful not to give the new game away.

"Yosh!" Luffy threw his arms up in the air, nodding enthusiastically before racing off to the galley.

The swordsman finally cracked a grin - wilfull and wicked. It was a bit cruel, but at least Luffy might leave him alone now. Honestly, it was like running a fucking crèche. Or a zoo. Whatever. Luffy wouldn't die, it was the one reliable thing about him. That was all that mattered. Except his nap.

Zoro stretched back and looked up at the cloudless sky.

Wife, eh?

The blonde was going to love that.

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PART FOUR

Cutting wind arced through the air. It was matched by a slice of light, jagged as a rusty blade. A wave of destruction was driven before it and Sanji had to turn his eyes away. The dust raced past him stinging and burning, and with practiced timing he leapt gracefully to avoid the brunt of the shock.

He knew it was a risk to be this close. The swordsman wasn't as focussed or targeted as the cook was. He was just pure grunting force. And blades.

The blonde turned back again just as the swordsman touched down. His foot swivelled as his ankle then hips, shoulders and arm twisted in a tornado. For an instant he paused, wound tight and Sanji drew an involuntary breath. His body was so defined, he looked liked he was carved in stone. For a split second, he looked the cook in the eyes - and winked. Then, once again, his blades were a halo of white all around him.

Zoro.

He had learnt so much about him in the past few years, but he was still a mystery. A man filled with contradictions: he didn't need anyone but he would do anything to save his nakama. Filled with hatred. Filled with fierce love. Sometimes when Sanji looked into Zoro's eyes it scared him... to see the intensity burning there. Raw undiluted passion. Drive. Zoro would never stop. He would always move forward.

...and sometimes that scared him too. What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immoveable object?

A rough hand travelled across his field of vision.

"Oi cook," he hadn't even seen Zoro move. He was still getting better, every day. Always moving forwards. "You been staring at me. Stop it."

The cook blinked and stepped back. He shifted his weight and tapped his polished shoe on Zoro's chin. "I'll stare if I want."

Three quick strikes and the cook swapped feet. A hop, step and jump and he had his foot back on Zoro's chest.

The swordsman smirked. "You're quick."

"Only just figured that out?" He stared defiantly. Zoro stepped forwards and grabbed the blonde's ankle.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice was low and stern, It was the voice he used to soothe. To comfort Sanji in the way that only Zoro could. One or two words when he needed them most.

You're strong.

Don't die.

Lucky.

"You didn't leave any damn marines for me, Marimo."

"You were too busy gawking, Ero-cook." The swordsman sheathed his two bare katana and rolled his hips into Sanji's toned thigh. He leaned close and whispered softly, "Don't think."

Zoro's kiss was always just as intense as his eyes

...and in the silence, it conveyed his message just as well as the words left unspoken.

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PART FIVE

He was a violent bastard, for one. He couldn't control his damn temper! He was always starting fights with the swordsman over the tiniest things and trying to kick him in the head every two damn minutes. He couldn't even have a nap without Sanji jumping him and trying to pin him to the deck.

It was pretty hot to spar with Sanji... Their fighting had become part of their foreplay. Intimate and passionate. They knew the way each other moved so well, it was almost like they were already fucking…

Shitty cook.

And he stunk like an ashtray! Always puffing on a reeking smokestack and interfering with Zoro's cultivation of the perfect body. It was a pain in the ass. He even smoked when he cooked! The smell in his hair wasn't so bad... It kind-of mixed with the spices to make something that was only Sanji. Earthy musk, clove, flame and testosterone…

It was a little sexy, in an I'm-gonna-get-a-lung-disease-and-kill-my-stupid-ass sort of way.

Aho-cook.

Well, he was definitely a pansy-ass over-dressed girly-boy. He spent more time in the damn bathroom than Nami and she practically lived in there! And he always had to go shopping everywhere. Places that Zoro would never have even found, let alone ever returned from. The prissy blonde just found shops like a homing beacon. After getting all the ingredients and clothes and smokes and everything fucking else they'd always waste a good day of shore time; time that could have been spent doing much better things than damn shopping.

Idiot!

He did look good though.

Stupid cook.

He was just...

Zoro sighed and looked down ...where he found a cure for all his tenderness and the cause of all his indignation.

Sanji was a trumped up, full of himself, whining bastard who delighted in the swordsman's torment.

Shitty... smug... anno..

"Ah, Zoro-kun!" Nami exclaimed, as she peered around the corner and found her prey.

Damnit.

"I was wondering where you were..." She made a point of looking him up and down several times just to be a bitch. "…I see Sanji made you wear The Apron again." She stifled a guffaw and started walking off, probably going to calculate the interest on Zoro's blackmail.

The swordsman made a fist, choked down the bile and didn't kill her.

Seriously, it was amazing the Herculean shit he did each day that no one would ever know.

"He didn't MAKE me, witch!" She just laughed. "It was a bet!"

"Yeah… yeah…" She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture and sailed off round a corner.

Oh, damnit all.

He was not going to put up with this shit any more.

He turned and marched down the corridor, his bellow booming ahead of him as he strode;

"DOUBLE OR NOTHING, ASSHOLE!"

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PART SIX

The bellow reached him long before Zoro swept into the room. When the swordsman arrived, it was with a flounce. Sanji wet himself yet again. He laughed, swallowed some smoke and fell off the couch in a coughing fit.

Every time. Every time.

He wondered if it would ever cease to be hilarious…

"Get a grip you asshole, you heard me. Double or nothing."

Sanji wheezed and pounded his fist on the floor. He finally lifted his gaze to see Zoro in the ever-so-fetching apron that he had given the swordsman for his birthday. It was a pretty mint-green, with a dark green lace heart-shaped pocket on the front and a gorgeous green and white frill around all the edges. It matched Marimo's hair. Oh, and his sparkling personality…

And that wasn't even the best part. That was the writing, something he always felt obliged to repeat,

"I think I saw something funny…" he spluttered.

"Shut up!"

Sanji slowly collected himself and got back up onto the couch. He smoothed out his suit and re-lit his cigarette, composure regained.

"Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." The cook mused philosophically, blowing smoke rings.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Zoro was still a little pink. Nothing flustered him more than being reminded of that moment of weakness. So of course, Sanji made sure to do it at every opportunity. If the idiot was going to keep getting stronger, he sure as hell didn't need a big head.

"Don't open your big mouth if you don't like what I put in it, shit head." Sanji rolled his eyes, "I was trying to be nice. You're such a damn cave man."

Zoro returned to his previous state of intense glaring. "Double or nothing."

"It was your bet. You were the one who was so cocky. I'm fine the way I am, actually." Sanji ogled the apron and lounged to demonstrate exactly how fine he was. Zoro's eyes narrowed. He looked pained. Must be thinking.

"Well, if you don't think that you can do it…" Suddenly there was smoke in Zoro's face and two burning eyes inches from his.

"WHAT did you say shit head!?"

"I said: same bet as last time, double stakes."

"Double stakes? You're going to regret this Marimo. You will never give better head than me." The cook scoffed.

Needless to say, he was eating those words before too long.

"This is taking it too far." Sanji deadpanned. He might have lost the bet, but he wasn't going to go down without a fight.

"It was double. I had ten minutes on deck, you have to do three laps of the ship."

"But this… it isn't even funny." The idiot could have at least put some thought into it!

"I dunno, I'm finding it pretty funny. …and other things. I'm certainly finding it other things…" Zoro smirked his ass off. Sanji glared at him. Seemed like some lacy bastard had forgotten what he was wearing.

"But if Usopp sees me, it will scar him for life!"

"He's a great warrior of the sea now, he can handle it."

"This is more than double!"

"Nami saw me."

"So what?"

Zoro glared.

Determined blue eyes glared back.

"So she's been spying on us all damn afternoon, I hate it when she does that." *cough plus she's a bitch*

"What did you say, Marimo…?" Sanji's voice was dangerously sweet.

Zoro leaned in a prepared to repeat it nice and clearly,

"SHHH!" The blonde hissed, as he shoved a finger at Zoro's lips. The swordsman sidestepped and stared at him.

The cook's well-trained Mellorine sensor had picked up the sweet sound of Nami's voice,

"Come on Robin! Just this once! I wanna seeeeeee…"

Oh no, there was no way she was seeing him like this. Her delicate flower would wither with the shock!

The cook was out the door and round the corner before Zoro could even smirk, and he was well on the way to beating the Grand Line record for racing dangerously around a pirate ship in nothing but a g-string by the time the swordsman managed his grin.

Nice view…

Now to get out of this fucking apron.

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PART SEVEN

"Esme, I am yours! Devoted to you from birth, I wait on your every wish and desire!" Sanji floated inches off the ground, his feet working double time to keep his now liquid lower half from just dribbling onto the ground and soaking away.

The object of his amorous affections yawned and examined her crimson nails.

"But you're gay." Luffy said, always matter of fact.

"NO NO NO NO NO! No, no. No. No, I am *not* gay… Whatever made you think that?!" Sanji fluttered his eyelashes at the voluptuous ice queen and then turned to glare daggers at Luffy.

"What about Zoro?" Luffy asked, wide eyes full of confusion.

"Who's Zoro?!" Sanji practically screamed.

"He's your husband, remember?"

The cook grabbed a fistful of Luffy's vest and lifted him a foot off the ground.

"NO. HE. IS. NOT," he hissed at Luffy. "He's not. I don't know what this crazy man is talking about my love… ignore his depraved rantings, lest they offend your delicate ears!"

He dropped his Captain with a thump and then went back to gyrating in delight.

"…then why does your shirt match his hair?" Luffy whined from a crumpled heap on the grass. The girl raised one eyebrow and crossed her legs, drawing Sanji's attention to her smooth, perfect thighs…

"Oh, Esme-chan! You are the most gorgeous vision that this travel weary sailor has ever had the…"

"It totally matches his hair." Luffy said, nodding furiously.

"I DO NOT MATCH THAT IDIOT MARIMO'S STUPID ALGAE COLOURED HAIR!"

"Che." The swordsman took in the scene and slowly shook his head. "Luffy, stop tormenting Sanji."

Luffy's eyes widened in shock, "But Zooorooo! I didn't do anything!" The swordsman grabbed Luffy by one rubbery ear and began to drag him across the grass. He paused and turned around for one last look at the mortified cook.

"What do you know… it does match…" He mumbled.

"I AM NOT GAY DAMNIT!" Sanji screamed as he soared through the sky to deal a flying sidekick to Zoro's head.

The swordsman dropped Luffy with little ceremony and blocked the kick, before grinning like a true sadist and drawing his swords. Within a split second, the cook and the swordsman were careening across the field leaving a trail of destruction behind them.

Luffy turned to the beautiful Esme with a nod of satisfaction.

"See? Husband."

The girl's soft lips parted, her emerald eyes sparkled and her icy cheeks flushed with a deep shade of rose.

"THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER!" She shrieked, as she leapt to her feet and hurled herself at the ball of screaming and flying limbs.

"Damn it woman, let go of me." Zoro growled.

"Esme-chan! I knew that you would come around!" Sanji drooled.

"Robin, what just happened?" Luffy blinked.

But for some weird reason, Robin was laughing too hard to answer.

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Zoro Learns Some Manners