Utopia | By : FlayraDowitcher Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 3044 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic. |
***So here's the next chapter! This one is self-edited. Sorry for any mistakes. But it's for fun. Take it as it is and enjoy! Read and review please! ^^
***Warning: Language, yaoi, dark themes, angst
***Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.
~*Fallen angels who cannot become the Virgin Mary.
Stay in your daydream. And wonder into the pleasure garden.*~ -Imnu
Chapter 22: Too Heavenly
The Light World was beautiful.
The three men stayed on the golden path following close to Roderich. Feliciano was struck speechless as he spun and whipped his head in all directions to take in the sights. Everything was floating above clouds on patches of grass and earth. Streams and waterfalls flowed everywhere. The buildings were made of gold or white stones while trees sprung large and green. The air was fresh and warm, probably from the special sun shining brightly above them. Feliciano knew it was not a real sun because he could stare right at it and the pain of brightness didn't bother him. It must be an artificial sort of magic light. Everything around them was beautiful and quiet. He could happily live here.
'But what about Ludwig?' He thought to himself. 'Ludwig wouldn't want to live here…and he can't live here. He is a demon. As am I.' Feli had to remember that he was the demon twin and Lovi the angel. As a half demon he did stand out among the angels floating or flying around. They all stared at him- his horns, double tails, dragon wings, clawed hands; he must look like an abomination among these beautiful creatures. 'I want to look just like them!' His curl drooped. 'But then I can't be with Ludwig…'
"This is where we will meet and talk." Roderich showed them a small house made of gold seated upon a cloud.
"Won't we fall through?" Kiku asked curiously. "How is the house standing on its own on the clouds?"
"There is earth beneath its structure but the clouds conceal it. The steps are there but you can't see them. Trust that they are there." Roderich climbed the invisible stairs.
Kiku followed, walking up in mid-air with ease. Francis looked at Feli before following after Kiku. When it was finally Feli's turn, he felt himself start to panic. His friends were waiting for him. Lifting a foot, he placed it on the spot where the steps 'should' be to find the air was hard. Putting weight down he lifted himself up without falling. He happily climbed the stairs to join the others. "I did it!"
Roderich raised a brow. "If you were going to fall you could have just used your wings." Feliciano realized he was right and blushed in embarrassment. "Well, no matter. Step lightly." Roderich opened the wooden door without the use of his hands. It opened on its own. "Sit at the table in the center. I promise not to keep you three too long. I do have other business."
Feliciano walked in with Francis and Kiku, taking a seat at the golden table before them. They left the head of the table chair opened for Roderich. Glancing around, Feliciano noticed that there was nothing else in this room except for the table. Its sole purpose was to host small meetings like this one.
"Now then, let us conduct business." Roderich took his seat. "The Light World normally does not deal in the matters of the lower worlds, but with how the Fiends are…handling things, we have decided to intervene."
"The demon realm was to rule the human one." Francis stated. "The Dark One betrayed us."
"So I've noticed. The Dark One is not something to worry about. It seems large and powerful, but it really isn't. Our biggest concern is the Fiends."
"They're terrible." Feliciano said softly, shrinking into his seat. "You should see how they treat their demon subjects!"
Roderich shrugged his shoulders. "To be perfectly honest, the Light World cares very little for the comfort of demons and humans."
Feliciano wasn't expecting to hear a comment like that from such a soft-spoken being. "W-what about all those souls clawing at the sky?"
"You mean the souls of virtuous humans?" A little smirk formed at the corner of his lips. "They slowly disappear when they realize this is NOT the Heaven they thought they would go to once they died. There is no Heaven, only rebirth and dimensions. The humans are piling beneath our world because they 'think'," he used quotation marks with his fingers. "That Heaven is directly above them."
"Where do they go when they disappear?" Kiku asked.
"I'm not sure of that." Roderich answered truthfully. "Angels are born here in the Light World. We have our own culture and race. No pious humans come here after they die for worshipping some deity they have no proof of. The sooner they realize that this isn't Heaven, the sooner they can move on to the truth."
Feliciano placed a hand over his heart. "That's really sad…I grew up in a semi-Catholic family…"
Francis placed his hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Just because something might not be true doesn't mean your whole perspective has to change. If Roderich doesn't know where 'humans' go, then how do you know what you were taught to believe isn't true?"
He smiled softly. "Thanks Francis, that made me feel better."
Roderich rolled his eyes. "Whatever. So then, moving on- you need the help of the Light World. Demons cannot bear our bright lights or powers, so anything we give you must be wielded by you, Feliciano Vargas." Feliciano wanted to hide within his wings. "You are the only being powerful enough to bear both the powers of Light and Dark. With our aid, you can defeat the Fiends and free their realm, which would put Seere back in charge. You would be doing the Light World a great favor, and we will be indebted to you."
Feliciano's brows lifted. "Indebted?" He looked at his friends. "Could you two excuse us for a moment? I want to speak with Roderich alone." Kiku and Francis didn't question him but got up to exit the building. Feliciano looked back at the angel. "I was always told to be more assertive, so I'm going to ask what I want in return for my services!"
Roderich looked surprise. "Really? And just what are those?"
"My fellow demon dukes are not demons but rather tortured human souls trapped within the bodies of demons. I want them all set free from their demon forms."
"You mean return them to humans? No demon duke would do that. That would mean losing eternal life! They would grow old and die, while you will still live on. Stupid idea.'
Feliciano thought again. "Well, then could you rid them of their humanly suffering?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, they all died brutally. The Dark One came to them at death and offered them a second chance. However, they look and evolved the way they died. To this day their human deaths haunt them. In his human life, one was torn limb from limb and had his eyes dug out. Now he is stitched together with no eyes. And that is just one example of the five."
Roderich understood. "That is more likely to happen. We may be able to deliver minor salvation to the demon dukes. However, we must ask them first for they may not want to lose who they have become."
"I would think they would like to look as normal demons do."
"You don't know how they really feel. Demons are an odd breed."
Feliciano looked chest fallen. "I know their human sufferings bother them. They want their tortures to end." He took a deep breath and tried to look fierce. "You will heal my demon friends or else I won't work for you!"
Roderich raised a thin brow in amusement. "Then you can suffer in the world of the Fiends." Feliciano frowned deeply, realizing that Roderich was right and that he had made a fool of himself. "Don't be silly. Just act normally."
"The 'normal' me would just surrender all and run away to hide. But I…" He lifted his eyes. "I have someone I care a lot about…and to leave them by surrendering or running away…I just can't do it. I'm scared of all this! I just want to live a peaceful life!"
"And you will, once the Fiends are out of the way." Roderich drummed his fingers on the table. "It's funny how the fate and balance of the realms lies within you, a scared little rabbit afraid of its own shadow." He yawned politely. "You should give up your demon wings and come live in the Light World."
Feliciano's eyes widened. "I could…do that? I could live here? But…but I'm a demon. My twin is the angel."
"It doesn't matter. You have angel blood and power within you. I'm assuming you have absorbed your twin, since you are bearing his wings?" Feli nodded. "Just as I thought. Yes, you can become an angel and you will be welcomed here in the Light World."
The idea of living in this paradise was nearly impossible not to consider. He could live in full peace, cut off from the rest of the crazy worlds below him. He would be free to lie around in a pretty environment and may never be frightened again! However…
"You look sad, Feliciano Vargas. Where is your doubt? It's written all over your face."
Feliciano lowered his eyes to his lap where his hands were folded. "I would like to live here."
"But?"
"But I…I can't leave the world I'm currently living in. There's someone there that…that I don't want to leave." 'So if I don't want to leave him for paradise, then why can't I get over what Botis did to me? For Ludwig's sake, why can't I get over it?'
"You have a demon lover. Keep in mind that an eternity is a very, very long time. Feelings change, especially romantic ones." He could see the tears starting to well in Feliciano's eyes and it made him feel uncomfortable. "Perhaps some music will help to ease your mind and doubt." He gave a flick of his wrist and to the far right a golden piano-like instrument appeared. "Do you like music?"
"Yeah."
"Then you will consider my music the Song of the Light World." He took to the instrument and began to play.
Feliciano listened to the golden tune that wove through his ears, filled his senses, and dulled his emotions. He felt at ease, like his spirit was leaving his body. It cleared his mind and thoughts of all doubts and fears. He thought about his rape; how Botis disguised himself as Ludwig to make it seem as if it were actually his lover raping him. But it wasn't Ludwig. Ludwig would never do something like that to him. It was all a trick of the Fiends. From the notes of the music he saw Ludwig's image appear, yet it was not his demon form yet the human one. He saw himself as a human as well, dressed for a day at the beach, as he ran into Ludwig's waiting arms. Ludwig's body against him was a normal temperature, not like the usual burning flesh beneath the skin. The arms were strong and powerful as they held him tightly. A gentle hand stroked the back of his head. For a moment, Feliciano wished he were human again just to know this feeling. The feeling of normality.
But when he looked up at his lover's softly smiling face, he noticed the demon Botis was lurking over Ludwig's shoulder. He instantly felt a cold shiver hurry down his spine, his breath caught and his bottom lip started to tremble. Clenching his eyes shut, he buried his face in Ludwig's chest and chanted in a whispered voice for the demon to go away. He was afraid to open his eyes in fear of Botis still looming behind them. Was this how it was always going to be from here after? Would the memory of that beast follow around behind them forever? 'He's dead.' Feli told himself. 'Botis is dead. He can't come back. Ludwig would never hurt me. He would never hurt me. Never. Never.'
'Feli, look at me.' Ludwig spoke to him. Taking a deep breath, he opened one eye and looked up- Botis was gone. With both eyes he saw only Ludwig staring down at him with soft features, or as soft as Ludwig could make them.
'Ludwig.' He found himself smiling again, and the feeling that washed over it chased away all the fear and doubts once again. He awoke with a start, finding himself still sitting in the chair with Roderich nearby. Ludwig's image was gone. Hearing his cry, both Kiku and Francis rushed back inside.
"Feli! Are you alright?" Francis ran to him.
"Yes." He said, a bit out of breath. "I'm fine…I just… fell asleep for a bit."
Roderich stood up from the piano. "From my music." He came back over to the table. "I had to get rid of all your doubt somehow. Your entire person was filled with fear, distrust, and doubt. If you do not get control over all those things then the Fiends will tear your soul apart."
"What can I do?" Feliciano asked and stood up from the chair, leaning forward to rest his hands on the table. "I feel better than before, thanks to you, but how am I to defeat these Fiends? I'm only one person…and I'm not the bravest of them all." He said with an embarrassed blush.
"For this fight, you don't have to be brave. You have to be honest with yourself and trust in what you know to be true. Listen carefully to what I am about to say to you. The Fiends know you can destroy them. They've known for quite some time. After I give you aid from the Light World, they will know it, and they will come for you. They will not fight with claws, teeth, or weapons. They will fight with their powers of lies, corruption, and deception. They know all of your weaknesses and will use them in every way possible to create webs of falsehood in order to steer you away from the right path. So long as you know the truth, and can see through their magic without any doubt, they will slowly fall apart, and then they will disappear into nothingness. They feed off of the weaknesses of beings- of fears and doubts. They grow stronger with the fear they absorb. But, if they do not have that fear to feed off of then they die."
"But what about their subjects?" Kiku asked. "They grow strong from the fear they hold over their demon population."
"It won't matter. Once I give him the aid of the Light World the demons will be in peace. All of them will stop, as if frozen in time. They will sense the power, but they cannot see it, so it will give them peace rather than scare them. That peace will help to weaken the Fiends as well. But it is up to you, Feliciano Vargas, to see through their falsehoods and destroy them."
Feliciano thought for a moment. "So all I have to do is not believe them?"
"Yes, but their powers of illusions and whispers are very strong. They will seem very real to you, and the tales will strike deep down into your very heart and soul." Roderich walked over to the other three. "I don't joke when I say they will tear your soul apart."
Feliciano gulped and leaned into Francis. "What do I do?"
"Mr. Roderich," Kiku started. "Is there any aid myself or the others can give him?"
"No. Feliciano has to do it on his own." He gave Feliciano a serious look. "You will face the Fiends alone." Feliciano gulped. "Once they know you wield our power, they will attack full force. They will be relentless."
Kiku saw Feliciano's look of worry so he smiled at his friend and took both his clawed hands. "You will be able to live in peace in the human realm with Ludwig and the rest of us. If you want that peace, then you have to help us all. You already have the ability to beat them- you always have."
"You think so?" He smiled back at the kitsune.
"Yes."
'He won't be alone.' Antonio appeared. 'I'll be with you.'
Roderich shook his head. "You can't help him. If you do, it will ruin everything. You must remain dormant."
"It's alright, Tony." Feliciano smiled up at him. "I have you to stay with me all my life to help me." He looked to Roderich. "Unless Roderich can restore you back to your angel form?"
'I don't want to be restored.' Antonio answered. 'You have the soul of my Romano inside of you, and it is there where I wish to stay.'
"Your love for a human is beyond our understanding." Roderich said with a shake of his head. "Well, no matter. It is not of my concern. I must have you three out of here very soon. Allow me to lend you our power." Roderich held out his hand palm up to press against the center of Feliciano's chest.
Feliciano felt a hot pressure against his chest as Roderich pushed something into him. He felt the object painlessly slinking into his skin, stretching out like a hundred tiny spiders on his skin. When Roderich pulled his hand away, he opened his shirt to reveal a circular white jewel embedded in the center of his chest. Bringing a hand up, he let his fingers trace and feel the texture of the jewel. The jewel shone brightly, warming his entire body with shivers of delight similar to that of desire. However, the power in the stone had started to purify his body! He could feel the old sting of Botis' essence melt away inside of him, along with any other internal wounds.
Francis gasped. "Feli! You're…you're changing!"
Kiku's eyes slowly widened. "You look like an angel."
"An angel?" He looked at his hands to find them free of claws. Behind him, his tails were gone. Feeling his head, the horns were also missing. Straining to look behind him, he saw that his demon wings were gone and replaced with white-feathered ones. Now he had four feathered wings! "What's happened to me?"
"The Light World has given you the power to transform between creatures. To defeat the Fiends, you must be in this form. It will help to keep your mind focused and pure. A demon is your true form." Roderich told him. "If you wish to remain here in the Light World when all this is over, you will have to give up your demon life, and all those in it, to be with us. If you don't, then we will take our power back, leaving you to be once again, a frightened little demon who is the Duke of Cowards. Understand?"
Feliciano was still shocked at his appearance. "Y-Yes. I understand." 'To leave Ludwig…I would never recover from that. Or…could I? It will make his life easier so he doesn't have to worry about me being afraid to make love to him.' Although his body was purified, the thoughts of his rape were still there.
Roderich frowned. "You still have something that is bothering you; a weakness. What is it?"
Feliciano blushed. "I can't…really tell you."
The other three were silent until Antonio spoke to him. 'You have to make love with Ludwig once again.'
Amber eyes gazed up at him with mild terror. "I can't!"
'You have to. You will never be cured unless you ignite the feelings of desire once again in you and him. Once you make love to him again, you will know that he is not the image of Botis, and you will be free of those memories.'
Francis cupped Feli's face in his hands. "Tony is right. It sounds hard, I'm sure, but you have to trust Ludwig to do nothing but love you. Use the new pleasure to blanket over the pain. Remember what you used to have together. If you don't rekindle your desire and love for Ludwig physically, the Fiends will use that to tear your soul and heart apart."
"I don't know if I can. My body is purified enough…but I don't know about my mind or heart."
"When we get back we'll talk to Ludwig." Said Kiku.
"You have to straighten this out." Roderich said. "If the Fiends know that Ludwig will be your biggest weakness then they will use it. You have got to figure out a way to cure your love issues. Don't screw this up for the entire world and realms, got it?"
Feliciano gulped and nodded.
In the realm of the Fiends…
Alfred had done little else but pace the halls of the castle. He wanted to be alone for a while to collect his thoughts. He had just handed Ivan over to Gilbert without an explanation. Ivan would be angry with him, but at this point he didn't care. Maybe he shouldn't have given up on Ivan so quickly. However, he couldn't forgive Ivan for what the demon tried to do while seeking the others here. Even after all the rape and pain he had endure, Ivan tried to 'reclaim him' as his own. He fought back against him, of course, but Ivan was nearly forcing him. Granted, Ivan and himself were both still waiting for the effects of the fighting barracks to ware off. Their minds were slowly coming back from the mental and physical torture they had to endure. But how could Ivan try that with him after all he'd been through? He would have thought Ivan was stronger than that. He wouldn't be able to mate or fuck again for a very, very long time. His time as a fighter and whore for demon fiends saw to that. Over time he would forget about it and move on with his life. He had eternity to heal, and he would. Alfred F. Jones always bounced back from certain hell.
"Alfred?" Ludwig had seen him in the hall.
"What?"
Ludwig cleared his throat while approaching him. "I just wanted to say that I'm glad you're back. We were very worried about you."
Alfred raised a brow. "Really." He responded flatly.
"I know you've gone through a very traumatic experience but I want to let you know that we're glad to have you back." He pats the smaller demon on the shoulder.
"Yeah. Thanks." He shoved the hand away.
"Alfred, I'm trying to be kind. I know we haven't always gotten along since that night so many years ago, but I want you to know that I was concerned about your kidnapping."
"Well," he forced a sarcastic smile. "Isn't that nice. You speak of that night and my stomach turns. You still have yet to apologize. But you know what? I don't even want you to apologize because nothing you say will ever be sincere to me."
Ludwig glared and growled low in his throat. "Things were different back then. You were a brand new demon testing your limits and powers."
"And you jumped on the bandwagon! You only desired me that night because I was young and new. Then I get tossed aside and ignored as if I were nothing!"
"I'm not saying what I did was right. But what has happened in the past cannot be undone. I'm moving away from it, and you should too."
"I am!" He turned away from the other. "I'm done with Ivan too. He's proven to be a rotten demon the same as you. Alfred F. Jones belongs to no one, and he will continue to rise without your 'kind' words or Ivan's 'love'."
Ludwig narrowed his eyes at Alfred's back. "What's happened to you?" Ludwig knew the truth. It was all the hardships Alfred had to endure along with the aura of this realm that can slowly drive them all crazy. They would have to leave this realm as soon as the Fiends were killed. That way, Ivan and Alfred's minds could return to normal. If things didn't change soon, Ludwig feared they might lose both Ivan and Alfred. "I'm sorry to have bothered you. We'll talk again after all this is over."
"Don't bother."
Ludwig turned away from him and left. First Alfred, then Sadiq, and now Feliciano all hated him in some way or form. The 'We Hate Ludwig' fan club just keeps growing and growing.
Gilbert stared at Ivan who sat perfectly still on the window seat while staring out into the city. Ivan had barely said anything since Alfred had left, and although they had made love three times since then, Ivan's heart wasn't into it. Gilbert wasn't sure if Ivan was pining for Alfred or it was the experience of being in the fighting arena. Ivan did let himself get captured on purpose to save Alfred but nothing went according to plan.
'Ivan? What are you thinking about?'
"Nothing." He said softly. "Literally nothing."
Gilbert walked over to him. 'Are you thinking about Alfred?'
"He hates me right now, but that's okay, because we have an eternity to make up."
'Ivan…I really wish you would make your choice between Alfred and me. Eternity is a very long time. It's not fair to me, or to him, for you be 'in love' with both of us.' Ivan was silent and continued to stare out the window. 'Are you ever going to make your decision?'
"I don't know."
White brows furrowed. 'If you're going to keep stringing us along…then I don't think we can be together! I'll end this relationship!'
"Then end it." Ivan said seriously, turning to gaze dully at him.
Gilbert's mouth hung open at the cold words that just shot through his heart like flaming arrows. 'Are you serious?'
"I'm dead serious. You don't like it then we don't have to be together. If Alfred doesn't want to be with me then that's fine too. Fuck you and him."
In a buildup of frustration and rage, Gilbert mustered up what little spit he could and spat at Ivan's face. It landed on the demon's cheek yet Ivan didn't seem to mind or care. Slowly, he wiped it away with one large hand. Gilbert was shaking with rage and leapt out to tackle Ivan from the window. He barely got the larger demon to move. Hurt and heartbroken, Gilbert began to bite, scratch, hit and claw at Ivan. How could the demon just throw over hundreds of years away within a single second? Gilbert had lost his tongue because of this demon that just proved that he cares nothing for him.
Ivan was forced to his feet by the attacks, finally deciding to fight back by grabbing Gilbert's forearms. With a growl he twisted both wrists in opposite directions, stringing forth from Gilbert gurgled cries of pain. "Stop this foolishness." He released the wrists.
'Damn you! I hope you and Alfred have a nice long life together!' Gilbert gave him a firm slap across the face after storming out of the room in search of his brother. 'Stupid Ivan! Fuck him! I don't need him. If he wants to be a selfish bastard then let him! I won't be involved with someone who wants to fuck two demons!'
He found his brother in one of the other halls. "Gilbert? You're bright red." Ludwig noticed. "What's wrong?"
Gilbert flung himself into Ludwig's arms. 'That bastard Ivan, that's what's wrong!'
"What happened?"
'Well, our relationship is over! Ivan won't pick between Alfred and me! Alfred hates him now too, but Ivan doesn't seem to care! He doesn't want either of us.'
"Gilbert, this place is driving them both mad. They've suffered much more than we have and being here in this realm is affecting their thoughts. Once we are free of this place, I believe they will return to normal. I just came from seeing Alfred…and he fares no better than Ivan."
'But that doesn't change the triangle we're in.'
"I don't want you with Ivan. I never did, but I endure it because it makes you happy. Yet now I see that is not the full case. Ivan is making you unhappy with his selfishness. You're better off without him."
Gilbert nodded against Ludwig's chest. 'I think you're right. I'm better off without him.' He took a deep breath. 'It's over between us.' He felt Ludwig's arms around him tighten. At least he still had his brother.
Feliciano hid under a dark cloak as he and the others reentered the realm of the Fiends. They were quick to hurry back to Seere's castle to tell the others of what they know. He was still in full angel form and couldn't wait to show Ludwig his white wings. Francis said he would report to Arthur and then they would start discussing a plan to attack the Fiends. Feliciano still wasn't prepared to face the Fiends on his own. He could only hope that Arthur had something in mind that would help him, like a really good plan.
When they arrived back at the castle Feliciano hurried in to find Ludwig, following their bond to lead him to his chambers. The door was closed already, so he pressed his ear against the door to listen. The room was big so he couldn't hear much if Ludwig was doing something in there. Turning the knob he peeked around the wood of the door, looking for his demon lover. He found his lover across the room by the bed, changing his slave clothes. Feliciano stared at Ludwig's fully naked body, admiring the strong back muscles, shoulders and thighs. Ludwig's tail and wings were shifting slightly as he started to put on his black pants. Feliciano heard himself let out a little whimper of disappointment, and that's when Ludwig turned quickly around to see him.
"Feli? You're back." He watched his small lover slowly enter the room and close the door. There was something different about him…he could sense it. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Feliciano answered. "Roderich, the angel, helped to awaken my Light World powers. I must have them if I am to defeat the Fiends." He gave his lover a little smile before untying his cloak and slowly letting it cascade down his body to pool at his feet. Ludwig gave a sharp intake of breath, the blue eyes wide with his jaw falling open. Feliciano blushed. "I can go back and forth through powers. Right now I am an angel." He spread out his four white wings for Ludwig to see and instantly the room was filled with light; one that did not hurt Ludwig in the least.
"Feli…I can't believe it." He gawked at the new image of his lover who shone so brightly before him. All the demon features were gone, leaving just the angelic form of Feliciano as he was when he was human. "Your light does not burn me."
Feliciano twiddled his fingers. "Well…I think that's because I don't want it to hurt you, and that you mean me no harm."
"So you are not afraid of me anymore?"
"I don't know. I don't think I'm fully free of Botis' rape yet…but my body has been cleansed of him. Roderich saw to that. I even know what I'm supposed to do now! Francis is telling Arthur right now." He saw how Ludwig was looking at him and blushed harder. "Ludwig?"
Ludwig let his eyes glide along the white robed body, stopping to look at the four huge white angel wings springing from behind. He knew how soft the bottom wings were, so the top two must be just as soft, if not softer! And the glow that Feliciano had around him…it only added to the sweet smell of his already delicious blood, which he hadn't tasted in so very long. The fact that his lover was an angel right now only heightened his desire to make love to him. It was forbidden for a demon to be with an angel, but not because of taboo but for the sheer vulnerability that angels brought out in demons with their light powers. But Feliciano wasn't trying to harm him; the light glowing from him was warm and welcoming. His lover had changed, and he hoped it was for the best. But dare he try to pursue his desires?
Feliciano could sense the arousal on Ludwig and although he was in angel form now he still shared a mating bond with the demon. His body was cleansed so he no longer felt dirty or unworthy of Ludwig, but was he ready to blanket over the pain? Francis said that he should be intimate with Ludwig again to help him get over what happened, to know that Ludwig was not trying to hurt him. And Roderich insisted that he get over this hump or else the Fiends will destroy them all. Feeling the tears well in his eyes, he turned away from Ludwig, covering his face.
"Feli? What's wrong? Did I scare you? I didn't mean to. I wasn't trying to."
"Just…give me a minute?"
If the Fiends ended up winning because of his weakness and fears, then they would never be free. Innocent demons and humans will suffer at the hands of those three monsters. This is the one chance they have at defeating the Fiends and regaining control of the human world. 'The Fiends will use that weakness against you.' Roderich's words echoed in his head. 'They will tear your soul apart.' And the souls of all those involved. He would be responsible for what happens to his friends, to the innocent inhabits all over the realm; all because he was afraid to face his fears. He was afraid to make love to Ludwig because of what one demon did to him, on purpose, set in motion by the Fiends. They already knew how much he loved Ludwig and they wanted to destroy that. If he didn't swallow his fear then he would be whatever everyone else called him in the past. Scaredy-Cat, worthless, hopeless, useless, waste of space or air, failure, coward, yellow-bellied. It would be the 'Wah- Wah- Wah-mbulance chant on the grade school playground all over again. His team will have lost the Kick Ball game again because of his inability to play properly. All his friends would abandon him if he failed, even Ludwig. And he wouldn't blame them at all. His body started to tremble.
"Feli, are you crying? What's wrong? Why won't you speak to me?"
"I have to overcome my biggest weakness…or else the Fiends will use it against me and we'll lose everything."
"What fear must you overcome?" Amber eyes turned to him.
"You."
"Me?" Was this still about Botis and the rape?
"I'm afraid of being intimate with you again…because Botis used your image to rape me. I know it's not true…but I just can't get over it! Francis said that I…should be with you again so I can realize, first-hand, that you are you and not an illusion." He smiled sadly at Ludwig and wiped at his tears with his sleeve. "I don't want everyone to hate me because I failed over something like this. I want to prove myself so badly…but I'm afraid to do it."
Ludwig brought his lover to him with one arm around his narrow waist. He was crushing the slender man against him but he didn't care. Feliciano was hurting with the amount of pressure being put upon him by the realms both Light and Dark. For someone so skittish and weak it would be a sin to place so many burdens on his shoulders. The Fiends tried to break them apart, striking Feliciano where it would hurt the most. He wanted to mate with his lover again to remind him that it can feel good, that there was nothing to fear from him, and that it was all a lie. But his lover knows that to be the truth, so how does one go about making it work? He wasn't good with words, but he would try talking to him first.
"Feli…I will be honest with you. I want to be with you again. We share a bond as demon mate and lovers…a bond, which I have missed terribly. I cannot help what I am: a demon. You are a demon as well. You have these feelings of desire too. To be without your bond is torture. To see you not smile at me or caress me in a loving way is worse than any wound I've ever had to endure. If I had been there I would have protected you with my life. I'm not very good with words or emotions. I can be harsh, firm, strict, and mean. But when it comes to you, Feli," He lifted the cute face damp with tears to look at him. "You make me different. It's only you who can do this, no one else. When I'm around you…I become a different person, and it's all for you."
Feliciano's amber eyes slowly widened. "R-Really, Ludwig? You feel that way? I've changed you? Me?"
"Yes, but only for you am I like this. This Ludwig you see here right now is only for you." Ludwig wasn't sure if it was Feliciano's bright smile, the cuteness of his face, or the loving glow coming from the lithe body that made him blush. He hadn't blushed in…in forever. "No one else makes me like this."
"OH LUDWIG! YOU'RE BLUSHING! SO CUTE!"
Feliciano didn't know what came over him, but the faint blush on Ludwig's normally angry face brought their lips together. He had wrapped his arms around the strong bare shoulders and kissed his demon lover deeply. It had been so long since they've kissed. Instantly he felt Ludwig's arousal stabbing at his lower belly. For a moment it frightened him, remembering how Botis did the same. Silently he told himself that Botis was dead and that this was his lover with him. His real lover. And Ludwig tasted just as he remembered, nothing like the fake Ludwig from the rape. This Ludwig was hot all over, not frigid and cold. This Ludwig had a wonderful smell that was all his own, the smell of a familiar mate. Not the rotting scent that was Botis' body and lies. Ludwig's mouth was hot and sweet- the taste of his mate. Now it was his turn to become aroused against Ludwig and let out a gasp when it met with Ludwig's hard stomach as he pressed up on his tip-toes.
"May I go further?" Ludwig asked, panting softly. "If not…just give the word, and I will stop."
Feliciano closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them. He had to be brave. Millions of people and demons and angels were counting on him. "Please go slow…and be very, very gentle?"
"I will be gentle…for you." Holding back from his demon instincts to mate roughly would take all of his self-control and power, but he would endure it for his lover. It will be twice as hard, thought, with Feliciano in this angel form. A demon making love to an angel. Light and Dark merging as one. Soft and hard. Sweet and strong. It almost seemed forbidden to go any further.
Feliciano felt himself lifted up by his rump and was carried over to their bed. His heart raced and pounded in his chest as it was mixed with fear and excitement. Ludwig's strength never ceased to impress him. The demon dwarfed him in all ways. As he was carefully placed on the bed he watched the demon climb on to loom over him. To anyone else who didn't know him Ludwig looked like a monster. The curved dark horns, the lengthening fangs, the thick heavy tail and large black dragon wings, shielding his whole body. Those wings were trapping him in their world, a world where it was only they and nothing else. And now that he was in his angel form, the kinky thought of an angel being ravished by a demon made the butterflies in his stomach intensify. In his world, angels were pure and innocent, free of lust and desires…always celibate. He was anything but that. Yet it was thatkink that helped to get him going.
"You tell me what you want me to do." Ludwig told him.
"Kiss me again?"
Ludwig obeyed, bringing their lips together once again. He controlled his urges, focusing on seeing how many moans he could wring forth from Feliciano's throat. Slowly he lowered his weight onto his lover, rocking their groins together steadily. Thin arms wrapped around him to place soft hands on his back that slowly began to explore. Oh how he had missed Feli's touch like this! He slipped his demon tongue through the open lips to find a regular human-like one. His cock tightened. When he pulled his mouth away it was only to speak.
"May I feel our naked flesh together? Do I have your permission?"
Feliciano blushed but gave a silently nod, preparing himself for Ludwig's trademark ripping of his clothes. Instead, Ludwig dragged one claw down the center of his chest, slicing open the robe and letting it fall open. That's when he remembered the jewel in his chest and Ludwig saw it too.
"What is that?"
"Roderich gave it to me. It's from the Ligth World. I'm borrowing their power and it's stored in this jewel…right next to my heart." He smiled up at his lover. "It's okay, it doesn't hurt." He watched as Ludwig carefully touched it and nothing happened. "See?"
"So long as you are not bothered by it." Ludwig's eyes scanned the once again perfect body clear of bruises and cuts. Everything about him was pure and flawless again. He would have to thank this Roderich for helping. "May I prepare you with my tongue?"
Feliciano felt himself tense up when he heard those words. "Y-Yes." He stuttered out.
"I promise I will be gentle and slow. You must trust me. Do you trust me?"
"I'm scared…but yes. Yes I do trust you, Ludwig." And he did, but it was just the memories that frightened him the most. 'I have to be brave. I must be brave!'
He held his breath and clenched his eyes when Ludwig's tongue slowly licked once at his entrance. Feliciano clenched his muscles, took a deep breath, and tried to focus on the feeling instead of the memories. Hesitantly he parted his legs further and heard a delighted purr from Ludwig. The thick tongue lapped at his cleft and hole, slowly making him squirm and whimper. It was an odd sensation but one that felt good. He let out a gasp of surprise when the tip of Ludwig's tongue penetrated through the first ring. The tongue was not as hard as a finger or thick like a cock, but it was thin and smooth. He thrashed against the bed as the length of Ludwig's tongue pushed fully inside. It was embarrassing to know what was going on down there but it didn't stop the sensations from filling his every nerve. He reached down to grip Ludwig's hair as the tongue started a series of gentle thrusts in and out. The movements were slick and smooth, completely painless.
"So good…!" Feliciano gasped out. "Don't stop." His back arched off the bed when the tongue lengthened to press in deeper and tickled his sweet spot. He never gave any thought to the massive length of Ludwig's demon tongue before. With a mantra of soft cries he gripped the black curved horns to push his body onto that probing tongue. He, an angel, was getting tongue-fucked by a demon. The kinky thought sent a shudder through his body and he came, shooting out his essence onto his belly.
Ludwig felt the inner muscles clench around his tongue as his lover climaxed, and he was pleased to have brought the angel to orgasm. Slowly retracting his tongue, he unbuttoned his black pants to reveal his throbbing cock. He stroked himself as he watched Feli writhing on the bed, relishing in the orgasm he had just experienced. 'He's so beautiful…'
Feliciano opened his eyes and saw Ludwig looming above him while stroking himself. His heart froze. It was just like that time when Botis' Ludwig was ready to rape him. Feeling all of his desire and lust dispel quickly he let out a scream. He pulled himself into a sitting position, holding the shredded robe closed around him. His frightened features matched the ones of Ludwig's face. Closing his legs he threw his hands to his face and began to cry. "I'm sorry! Oh Ludwig…I'm so sorry!"
"No. No, it's all right. No need to be sorry. Excuse me." Getting off of the bed he flew quickly the bathroom to finish off in the toilet. Lifting the wooden lid on the box he started to stroke himself again. It didn't take many pumps for him to finish and he came hard. Panting heavily, he shut the lid and stuffed himself back into his pants. "I was so close…damn it!" He slammed his fist on the table. "I hope I didn't ruin it further."
Waiting a few more moments, Ludwig finally left the bathroom and made his way over to the crying heap on the bed. He sat at the foot of the bed so as to not frighten Feliciano further. "I'm sorry if I went too far."
Feliciano sniffled heavily and wiped at his nose. "It's not your fault. I gave you all the right signals. The truth is I wanted it and was ready for it…but when is saw you stroking yourself…it was like that time. And you looked so big and scary and dark…just like that time! And…oh God, I'm so sorry!" He nearly screamed the last words.
"Feli! Don't apologize for anything!" He climbed back onto the bed and took Feliciano's sobbing face in his hands. "Nothing is your fault! Nothing! You asked me to stop and I did without question. I am not Botis disguised as THAT Ludwig! I am the real and true Ludwig! Your Ludwig!"
"I know! I know that! I know you are the right Ludwig!" He spoke quickly, growing hysterical. "I thought I was getting better! I thought I could do it! But I can't! I'm going to fail everyone! I just a stupid failure!"
Ludwig pulled him into an embrace. "You are not a failure."
"But I am! If I lose to the Fiends then everyone will suffer! Everyone will hate me, and so will you!"
"No, I would never hate you. Feli, you are given a heavy burden to bare, one that would be difficult for anybody. You have made it this far, which is remarkable in my view. I have faith in you. I believe you will be able to see through anything the Fiends try to throw at you. And even if the others hate you I never will. I will always stand by your side, as I know you would for me." Wide amber eyes gazed up at him. "I mean, I wouldn't count on you in battle with me, but in everything else, from love to tender care and sharing our lives together…that I know you will never betray. I would never betray you, just like you will never betray me. Remember that when the Fiends try to trick you."
"Always stay true to my heart. Never believe what they say." Feliciano repeated softly. "Or they will tear your soul apart."
"Feli, we have an eternity to see you overcome this and I know you will. I am right here to help and support you. All this is for you and only you, my mate. This is your Ludwig."
"So you…aren't mad at me for stopping it short?" Ludwig shook his head. "That means a lot to me, Ludwig. The other one of you wouldn't have stopped."
Ludwig kissed the top of his head. "Let's just spend the rest of this time together, just the two of us. If anyone tries to bother us I will yell at them."
Feliciano let out a laugh between sobs. "I love you, Ludwig. I really do!"
"I know. And I love you too."
The Castle of the Fiends
"Welcome back, Griot." Said Merkova from her seat at the table. "Where have you been?"
"Out betting racing goblins with Seere." Griot answered. "What's it to you?"
Nerissa fanned herself. "It's been to quiet over at that castle. I think Seere is up to something."
Griot scoffed. "Bullshit. He's a harmless old demon who has been loyal to us for centuries!"
"Loyalty can always change." Merkova pointed out. "Anyway, have you sensed the new power that is in our realm?"
Nerissa nodded to her. "I have. It is of the Light World."
"The Light World?" Griot joined them at the table. "Now that you mention it…I did get a strange sense of…warmth earlier."
"It's that Vargas demon, I'll bet." Said Nerissa. "Our original plan hasn't worked out. That Ludwig is to love with the little brown field mouse, Feliciano Vargas. They still 'love' each other. How a strong and dominant male demon like Ludwig could be completely smitten with that skinny little thing I'll never know." She rubbed the spot on her arm that had been burnt by Feliciano's kind spirit.
Merkova gave a yawn. "No one cares about your slow fuck-life, Rissa. It would seem that our 'little brown field mouse' has overcome what that worthless demon Botis did to him. Bringing out the dark side of that little shit did nothing to help us." She too was rubbing the spot on her that had been burnt.
Griot brushed his hair from his face. "So then we turn our attentions to the lover, Ludwig."
Nerissa lowered her fan. "What do you have in mind?"
"Well, if the little lamb's dark side didn't help to break the two apart then we must try a different route. Vargas doesn't have a true dark side like most demons." Griot smirked, showing his fangs. "So let's break his heart instead, starting with Ludwig's bones."
End Chapter 22 TBC
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