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Only in Your Eyes Am I Worthy	By : Lucythebeast Category: +M to R > Neon Genesis Evangelion Views: 28767 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 23
- 24
- 25
Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author�s Note: Ah
that Gendo� managing to be a nice guy and a
self-serving bastard at the same time. Gotta love him. hehe

Required
Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some
jelly donuts around here now, however� Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!
And stuff.

Chapter 24: The
Bitterest of Ironies

Shinji simply held Rei for a long time, feeling comfort and peace in his soul
from the closeness. But guilt was tugging at the back of his consciousness, and
it was ruining his happy moment. The guilt stemmed from a lot of things. A number
of them he didn�t even want to think about.

The blue-haired
girl sensed the turmoil in the third child and leaned back from his embrace and
looked into his eyes. She wasn�t sure what was bothering him, but she could
tell it was important. �Shinji-kun?�

The blue-eyed boy
nearly winced. Even though she spoke in her normal soft tone, he could sense
the depth of emotion in her words. He couldn�t do this. Not yet. There were
some things he had to do first, as a matter of honor. �I need to speak to
Father.� He offered as explanation for his agitated emotions.

The first child
nodded. She didn�t understand why he felt the way he did about the elder Ikari, but she accepted it as she accepted him for all his
weaknesses and strengths. �Hai.�
She replied simply.

Had he said that to
Asuka, she would have demanded to know why. Rei, however, accepted it. He
wasn�t sure if it was because she was accustomed to not receiving explanations,
or if it was because she trusted him. He hoped it was the latter, even though
he didn�t feel like he deserved her trust. Or anyone�s, for
that matter. �Is it all right if I come back here afterwards? I� would
like to spend some more time with you.�

The red-eyed girl politely
stepped back to give the boy room to leave. �Hai. You may come and go in my home as you please.
You need no invitation.�

Shinji blinked a
few times, confused. �Arigato, Rei-chan. Ah� I meant
to ask, does your door buzzer work? Whenever I press it, I don�t hear anything.�

Rei glanced at the door. �It does, but you do
not need to press it. Simply enter. You do not need an invitation.� She
repeated.

The third child�s
mouth dropped open in surprise. He was about to protest, but something about
the way the girl was looking at him made him keep his tongue. �Hai� arigato, Rei-chan.
I will not abuse your trust.� He bowed slightly and said good-bye, and left.

He was lost in
thought as he made his way into and through NERV headquarters. Sooner than he
would have liked, he stood once more in front of his father�s office. The third
child took a deep breath to steel his nerves, and then knocked on the door.

A few moments
later, the stern voice of Gendo Ikari
came over the intercom. �What is it, Pilot Ikari?�

Shinji flexed his
hands nervously, a little hurt that the man was so formal. �Father, I need to
speak to you.�

After waiting
nearly a minute, the commander replied stiffly. �Enter.�

The third child let
out a breath he had been holding and walked into the office and then forward
until he stood before the commander�s desk. He hated each and every step that
it took to walk through the large room. He stared down at his feet for a few
moments then looked up, hoping to see a more open expression than he was
accustomed to. However, he was disappointed as he was greeted by the familiar
stern, seemingly disapproving glare that almost always originated from the
elder Ikari. �Good morning, father.�

�Get to the point, Ikari. I do not
have all day.� Gendo commanded.

Apprehension and
shame filled Shinji�s mind and he struggled to find the words he needed to say.
He took several deep breaths to calm his nerves then looked the commander in
the eye, something he very rarely did. �How did I die, father?�

Commander Ikari frowned, though not for the reasons the boy assumed. �You
don�t remember? Rei recalled her death shortly after
she was told.�

Shinji�s brow
furrowed as he tried to remember, though large portions of his life seemed to
be missing. He always assumed the long boring stretches of time he lived with
his teacher accounted for the gaps, but now he wondered if it was because of
his death. �Was it� when mother... died?�

�No. What do you
remember about the last time we visited your mother�s grave? Not the time a few
months ago, but the one before that.� Gendo inquired,
attempting to prod the boy�s memory.

The third child
narrowed his eyes in confusion and tried to remember. �I remember� crying. Placing flowers on her grave. I remember running away from
you. It was a week before I was found. I don�t remember that much.� The boy
admitted.

The commander was
silent for a while, giving the younger Ikari time to
remember more, but he was waiting for his father to fill in the details. �It
was over three months after we visited your mother�s grave that you ran away,
Shinji.�

�What?!� The blue-eyed boy cried, shocked. �No!
After we got home I� ran away! I couldn�t understand why you could be so cold
and unfeeling over her death!�

�So you don�t
remember being shot.� Gendo stated more than asked.

Shinji stared down
at his feet, searching his memory. He turned his gaze to his right hand and
flexed it several times, a habit he seemed to have for longer than he could
remember.

Commander Ikari waited patiently then offered another clue. �Looking
at your hand doesn�t spark your memory?�

The third child
gasped and clutched his temples as flashes of memory seared through his brain. �No!
Stop it!� He cried, dropping to his knees as the fear
overcame him.

�Do not ask for
information if you are not ready to receive it, Ikari.�
Gendo stated coldly.

�That�s not what I
mean!� Shinji cried, shaking his head. �The memory� it just came too fast. I
still feel the pain��

�So you remember,
then.� The commander said with a touch of compassion in his voice.

The young pilot
sighed and nodded. �You were shot too?�

�Yes.� Gendo replied emotionlessly. �The first bullet passed
through me and into your right hand. The second went into your chest.�

Shinji stood up
slowly and stared at his hand, then raised his gaze to look into his father�s
eyes. �You tried to save me.� He stated with wonder in his voice.

�Yes.� Commander Ikari affirmed. He had indeed put himself in front of
Shinji when the shooter fired at them. The first bullet bad passed through his
abdomen and went through the boy�s hand. The younger Ikari
had fallen away from the protective shield of his father�s body and was hit by
the second bullet. �It was a religious zealot. The brother of
a former employee of Gehirn on Project E.�

The third child
nodded, remembering now. �He was screaming that the Angels were messengers of
God and that mankind deserved to be destroyed by them for our sins. He said
something about what we were doing was blasphemy.�

�Correct.� Gendo responded.

�Who was he?�
Shinji inquired, his tone darkening.

�It is not
necessary for you to have that information. He was dealt with.� The commander
replied.

The blue-eyed boy
remembered. His father had emptied an entire clip from a pistol into the
shooter. He still remembered the anguished and enraged cries. He even
remembered his father crying over him as he died� a shocking revelation.

But the shooter
seemed familiar somehow. After a few moments of consideration, similar features
came into his mind. Shinji�s eyes widened in shock. �Was
he� Asuka�s father?!�

�No.� Gendo replied. For a few tense moments, he considered
remaining silent. But, he figured the boy had already made the connection. �Her uncle. He was the brother of Soryu�s
mother, who worked on Project E until she lost her touch with reality.�

The young Ikari stared down at the floor. For a moment, he felt anger
towards the red-haired German girl, but he quickly realized she had nothing to
do with it. Hating her would only be a cowardly escape, and he was sick of
those. �I see.�

Commander Ikari was silent for a while but then spoke up. �Will that
be all?�

Shinji nearly said
yes and ran away, but stopped himself. �No sir. I had another matter to discuss
with you.�

�Proceed.� Gendo said, nearly telling the boy to make it quick but he
didn�t, this time.

The third child
took a very deep breath and closed his eyes for a few moments, summoning up his
courage. �Does Rei� are her parents still alive?�

Commander Ikari stared at his son silently.

�I mean� well� I
need to know, father. Gomen.� Shinji stared down at the floor.

The commander
frowned. He had a feeling he knew why his son wanted to know that information. �Pilot
Ayanami has no living blood relatives. I am her legal
guardian, as you already knew.�

�Yes sir.� The
blue-eyed boy agreed. �I just assumed that perhaps she still had some family,
somewhere.�

�Is there a reason
you require this information, Shinji?� Gendo
inquired.

Shinji clenched his
hands then raised his gaze up, giving his father as brave a look as he could
muster. �Yes sir. I wish to court Rei. Since you are
her legal guardian� I respectfully ask your permission, sir.�

Commander Ikari was shocked, but he didn�t allow himself to show it.
He was silent for several minutes as he ordered his thoughts. �You want my permission to court Rei.� He stated more than questioned.

�Yes sir.� The
younger Ikari affirmed.

Gendo was silent once again. He really did not
want to have this conversation. �You realize that as Rei
is my legal ward, you are essentially her brother.�

Distress showed on
Shinji�s face. He hadn�t realized that, or even considered it. �But we�re not
blood related.� Was the boy�s evasive response.

The commander
considered how to respond to that. Technically, the girl was born from a combination
of Ikari Yui�s and Lilith�s DNA, but she was more Lilith
than Yui. It was necessary, because Yui�s soul was trapped in Unit 01, so Rei
had to either house Lilith�s soul or develop one of her
own. He didn�t really want to lie to his son, but he couldn�t tell him the
truth either. �You share a certain kinship due to your Adam DNA and her Lilith DNA.� It was the truth, just not the whole truth.

The young pilot
considered that then shrugged. �Do we know for sure that Adam and Lilith were related? Even if they are, it doesn�t matter.
Genetics is only important in this case if children are involved. Rei-chan cannot bear children.�

�And has that
entered into your consideration, Shinji? If you court her, there is a good
chance you may one day marry her. Do you really want to marry a girl that
cannot give you children? Especially given the sharp decrease in birth rates
since the Second Impact?� It was a dirty tactic, Gendo
knew, but still a valid one.

�I don�t care.�
Shinji replied bravely. �If we want a child, we could always adopt. Or, we
could figure something else out. We may not even survive, if the last angel
succeeds in causing Third Impact. What point is there in worrying about the
distant future right now? I care about Rei very much.
I won�t let something like that stop me from attempting a relationship with
her.�

Commander Ikari had one last dirty trick up his sleeve that he was
willing to play. �And if I refuse to allow you to court her?�

The third child
immediately looked crestfallen. �Then� I would be honor-bound to obey your
wishes. If not for my own sake, then for hers.�

�Then I�� Gendo was interrupted by his son, a shocking event in and
of itself.

�However, if you do
allow me to court her, I will be in your debt.� Shinji stated, using his own stratagem.

The commander was
silent for a few moments as he considered that. �And how would you repay that
debt?�

The younger Ikari considered that. He knew a way, but he hated it. Oh
how he hated it. �I� will forgive you.�

�For
what, exactly?� Gendo inquired, curious.

Shinji gritted his
teeth and clenched his hands into fists. Then he let out a long deep breath. �For everything.�

�Including using
the Dummy Plug, which resulted in the death of the fourth child?� The commander
inquired skeptically.

The blue-eyed boy
hated responding to that. But he had to. �Yes sir.�

�And for abandoning
you to concentrate on my work after your mother� was taken from us?� Gendo could never say that Yui
died. To himself, or to others. Her soul was still
alive in Unit 01, and he would reunite with her after Third Impact, therefore,
she was only temporarily lost to them. He refused to see it any other way.

Shinji stared at
the floor.

The elder Ikari waited patiently.

The third child
sighed and nodded. �Yes sir.�

Gendo was silent again for a while, considering
that. Most of the rebelliousness in Rei towards him
stemmed from Shinji. She was angry about how he betrayed and abandoned the boy
and how he treated the third child at present, and she would also be angry if
he refused to allow her to have a romantic relationship with him. Gaining his
son�s forgiveness and giving his permission to court the first child would
regain him the girl�s devotion and ensure no problems in achieving his plans
for Third Impact. Despite his own personal qualms over the relationship, he
couldn�t ask for a better deal. �You have my permission to court Rei.� Before the boy could react to the news, the commander
added to it. �I give you this warning, however. If you hurt her, son or no, I will have my revenge. Do we understand
one another?�

�Yes sir.� Shinji
replied respectfully, joy singing in his heart.

�Is there anything
else that you require, Shinji?� Gendo inquired, ready
to get back to his work.

The younger Ikari bit his lip nervously. �Yes sir. One
final thing. Some advice? Not that long ago� I
had an� encounter with another woman. I feel terrible
about it, even though Rei-chan and I were not in a
relationship at that time. Should I� tell her?�

�Yes.� The
commander replied immediately.

�Oh�� Shinji
frowned thoughtfully. He hadn�t expected his father to reply that way� or as
quickly as he had.

�Rei does not like to be lied to. Complete honesty is far
safer, with her, than lying to protect her feelings. Furthermore, if something
is bothering you, she will notice. She is very� observant.� Gendo
elaborated.

The third child was
surprised. �Rei is?�

�Sensitive,
as well. You hadn�t
noticed?� The commander asked, surprise entering his voice. He wondered how
well the boy could really know his precious Rei if
this was the case.

Shinji blushed in
embarrassment. �Well she seems so� quiet and reserved. And she often seems to
be in her own world. She daydreams a lot in school. Or at least, I think she�s
daydreaming. I never would have realized she was observant� from what I�ve
seen.�

�She notices a lot
more than she normally lets on. And, normally only with those she cares for.
Perhaps you don�t know her as well as you think you do.� Gendo
observed.

Shinji nodded. �I
am learning, though. What I do know is that I care about her very deeply. And
that is enough for now.�

Commander Ikari was surprised. �Shinji� you�ve changed.�

The third child
blushed in embarrassment. �Misato-san has said the same thing several times,
especially lately.�

Gendo nodded. �I am� proud of you. Son.� The commander wasn�t sure if Shinji was more surprised
by those words, or if he himself was.

�F�father?� Shinji
beamed, happiness radiating from him at the praise. He remembered when he told
Misato that he felt he piloted Eva simply to hear those words from his father.
Strangely, it was something unrelated to his pilot status that finally earned
that praise.

�If that is all,
you are dismissed. I have a lot of work to do, and talking with you has put me
behind schedule.� Gendo stated gruffly.

Shinji bowed as he
started leaving. �Thank you, father! Gomen nasai, I didn�t mean to
keep you so long. Goodbye!� He ran off, with a permanent smile seemingly
plastered on his face.

Commander Ikari shook his head, still surprised. �All the women I placed
around you� and it was the girl I consider a daughter
to be the one to make you into a man I can be proud of. Fate is the bitterest
of ironies.� He mused aloud before returning to his work.

*************************

Asuka grumbled as she entered Misato�s apartment.
�Fire again, Asuka. Fire faster, Asuka.
Reload, Asuka. Why are you missing, Asuka? Mein Gott,
even I�m not perfect!� The girl
grumbled, wondering why Major Katsuragi had seemed so
pissed off today. Her performance that day was well in line with her past
showings, perhaps not her very best but well enough.

The girl walked
into the kitchen and looked around. �And that fucking Kaji� what�s his problem? Here I am, young, nubile, beautiful,
sexy as hell, and he doesn�t even look at me! But he turns into a drooling
monkey when Misato walks in!�

She growled and
started doing a mock version of Kaji�s voice, �Oh,
that Misa-chan! She�s so nice, isn�t she? She�s so
pretty! You could learn a lot from her, Asuka-chan! Sie hat ja
Titten wie Melonen!!! (She has breasts like melons) Ach!�
She spat on the floor in disgust. �Who wants H�ngetitten
(droopy breasts) like those old bags when they could have firm young ones like
these in their hands?!�

The second child
kicked the wall, venting her frustration. �And where the fuck
is he?! He didn�t even see me before he went off to wherever he is!
Arrogant selfish son of a�� She kicked Misato�s door and her foot went right
through it. �AAH! Stupid paper doors! Fucking Japanese can�t even have proper
wooden doors like everyone else in the world!� She cried, swearing as she
pulled her leg out and winced as pain shot through it. �Oh great, now I�ve got
a big scratch on my beautiful perfectly formed leg!�

Asuka huffed and plopped down on the ground with
a wet paper towel to clean the wound. She glanced at the hole in the door and
felt embarrassed from her outburst. �So that�s what Dr. Kagame
said about me not handling my frustrations very well�� She contemplated the
hole for a few minutes then grabbed a pen and paper and wrote out �Sorry! I tripped!�
She giggled as she put that over the door, hoping the major would believe her.
The red-haired girl shrugged at the door. �At least I didn�t destroy all her stuff.�

Thinking that made
her wonder if Shinji had made the move on Rei. �They�re
probably going at it like badgers in heat right now. At least someone�s getting
sex� damn these drugs make me horny.� The girl grumbled. She had wanted to go
back to Rei�s apartment since the major was working
all day, and she knew Shinji would be over there, and she didn�t want to be
alone all day. But she figured she had to give the two some time alone so they
could figure things out.

Asuka considered that for a little while. �If
they start up a relationship� will either of them have any time for me? I�m
going to be all alone. Hikari isn�t even around
anymore� fucking cowards all left after Unit 00 went kablooey.
No faith in us pilots whatsoever. Don�t they understand that if we fail, it won�t
matter where the fuck they are, they�re still going to die?! Why couldn�t they
just stay here and show us some goddamned support?!� She growled and kicked the
refrigerator. �Oh shit, I�m sorry Pen-Pen! I didn�t mean to� what the hell am I
talking about? Damn it I forgot he was gone. Even that stupid bird has
abandoned us.�

Asuka pulled her knees up under her chin, crossed
her arms over them, and sobbed. She felt alone and unwanted, and the worst part
was, she had encouraged Shinji into going after the quiet blue-haired girl. And
she knew she never had Kaji�s interest to begin with.
�Probably just sees me as a kid. Nobody takes me seriously, unless I�m in my
Eva.�

She remembered a
time a number of months before, when Shinji and Unit 01 were swallowed up by
the 12^th angel. She was ranting and raving about how the third child
got what he deserved for being a chauvinistic pig and acting like he could take
on the angel himself. Realistically, she knew he really just wanted to protect
the girls and to prove himself. And though she would have never admitted it
then, and perhaps not even now, she was scared that she would never see the boy
again. Rei had gotten in her face and asked if she
only piloted Eva for the praise of others. She had tried to play it off that
she knew she was great and of course others would see that as well, but she
knew the real truth. She felt it was the only thing in her life that gave it
meaning, and that it gave others a reason to depend on her and give her
attention. It was also why she acted the way she did, so they had no choice but to notice her.

The second child
wiped her tears away and plopped down on the coach and flipped the television
on. �At least the TV still works.� A moment later, the signal cut out, replaced
by a message saying the station was experiencing technical difficulties. �Schei�e!� She cried. She flipped
the channels and found almost all of them were the same way. The only one still
in service was a nature channel. She slapped her forehead in exasperation. �Gott lacht an
mir. (God laughs at me.)� She muttered. On the screen
was a documentary about the mating habits of various mammals, so lots of fuzzy
critters going at it as if it was going out of style were continuously displayed.

*************************

Misato frowned as
she observed the fifth child in the distance. �What�s he doing?� She inquired
one of the security staff that was �discretely� observing the silver-haired boy
from a distance.

�Just
that, major. He�s been
sitting there on that bench here in the atrium for several hours now. He�s
either waiting for someone with exceptional patience or he�s just� watching
people walk by.� The security officer remarked, shaking his head. �Whenever
someone happens to look at him as they pass, he gives them the strangest smile,
as if they were a long lost best friend. I can�t figure him out.�

The major raised an
eyebrow and regarded Kaoru Nagisa curiously,
wondering what could be going through his head. She sighed and left security to
their work and resumed her own. �Hasn�t Captain Ibuki
reported in yet?� Misato inquired, wondering why the girl was absent again.

�No, apparently she
came down with some sort of illness that impaired her ability to concentrate
effectively. Akagi-dono is enforcing a 72 hour leave
on her.� Makoto explained, glancing up from his terminal.

The major sighed. �That�s
all we need, is for some illness to start sweeping through the GeoFront. Although I suppose it could simply be a case of
food poisoning, ne?�

�You can always
call her and ask her yourself.� The lieutenant suggested as he pulled out a manga since his work station was going to be running
autonomous diagnostics for an hour or two.

�I might stop by later,
assuming her condition isn�t infectious.� Misato replied, not feeling like
talking to someone over the phone. �She�s probably sleeping anyway, if she�s
feeling bad. Or she�s reading some boring technical magazine that would make me
bleed out of my ears just by looking at it.� She grinned and sat down to start
going over the boring reports that made her job a living hell. �Ah� I�d take an
angel attack over this paperwork any day.�

She briefly
considered going to visit Dr. Akagi later on, to give
herself a break, but then reconsidered. �She�d probably be all business� which is
fine. But� after what happened between us the other day, I�m still a little weirded out. It�s not so much that we had sex� but it was
how she did it. Such anger� she scared the crap out of me. Whatever�s got her
angry, I don�t wanna be around her until it�s resolved.�

Misato paused as
she signed yet another document concerning repair costs from the last angel
attack and glanced at the technician who was still reading. �So what do you
think the chances are that the 17^th angel will decide not to attack,
considering we defeated all of his friends?� Lt. Hyuga
gave her a �yeah right� look and so the major shrugged. �One can hope, right?
Then maybe I won�t have to sign so many of these damn reports in the future� I
mean� one form for requesting x number of L shaped pipes, another for
requesting x number of straight pipes, another form for requesting so many
valves of this type, another form for
valves of that type� and I have to check all this and so much
more against the master list of what we need now and what we can wait on. It�s maddening.�

Makoto gave her a
sympathetic smile, but inside he was amused. �This is why I�m in no rush to be promoted. The
higher the rank, the more responsibility and paperwork. I�m happy right
where I am, thank you! Captain Ibuki probably got
sick from being overworked with all her new responsibilities.�

Major Katsuragi growled. �That the hell is the difference between
a ball valve and a butterfly valve, anyway?!�

The lieutenant bit
his tongue to keep from laughing at the purple-haired beauty�s misfortune.

*************************

Shinji opened up
the door to Rei�s apartment and called out a
greeting. He still felt a little uncomfortable just walking in, but she had
told him to and he knew from past experience that she didn�t seem to pay any
attention to someone knocking on the door. He also remembered just before Suzahara was killed in the Dummy Plug incident, when he and
his friend had brought the flyers to the girl�s apartment, she had walked in
while he was cleaning the place up and she didn�t seem concerned by their
presence, and was even confused why they had apologized for walking in
uninvited. Though he did fondly remember her blush when she found out he had
cleaned her apartment.

The third child
kicked off his shoes and stepped up onto the concrete that made up the floor to
Ayanami�s apartment. He briefly thought about the
first time he ever came to this apartment and felt bad because while both he
and Rei had fallen, she hit the floor and all he did
was land over her and accidentally groped her. While she fell back onto hard concrete,
and had a heavier body fall on top of
her and on tender intimate anatomy as well. �It�s
a wonder she ever talked to me again after that, especially considering I upset
her with how I felt about my father.� Shinji scratched his head and entered
the bedroom area to find the red-eyed girl lying face down on her bed, her chin
resting on her folded arms. �Hello, Rei-chan. I�m
back.�

The blue-haired
girl sat up and looked at the third child. �Your father�s words were kind?� She
could tell he was happy.

Shinji nodded. �They
were very kind. I asked his permission to court you.�

Rei raised an eyebrow up slightly. �To court me.� She stated/questioned.

�Yes. To uh� you
know. So we could have a relationship. A romantic
relationship. This� is something you wanted as well, na?� The blue-eyed boy inquired carefully. He felt
that he surely couldn�t have misread the situation judging by that kiss and
embrace earlier.

�If
that is your desire.�
The first child replied in a mysterious tone.

The young Ikari blinked in surprise, feeling unsure of himself now. �We don�t have to date, if you don�t want to. I
was just asking his permission. It�s not like you don�t have a choice.�

�Commander Ikari agreed to your request?� Rei
inquired.

Shinji blushed,
still unsure of how to take her odd reaction. He should have been accustomed to
the way she reacted to things by now, but as he told his father, he was still
learning. �Hai.�

�And it is your
desire that we court.� She continued in her mysterious tone.

The third child
coughed nervously. �Ah� hai.�

Rei was silent for a while before nodding. �Then
we shall court one another.�

�Oh� ah, ok.� The
blue-eyed boy felt shy, all the sudden. �Ah, you don�t have to, if you don�t
want to.�

The first child
stared at the boy silently.

�Well, there is
something I need to tell you, before we�re officially a couple. Ah� a few days
ago, when we were examined by Akagi-dono and Ibuki-taii� well� I was nervous and scared� and ah�� Shinji
felt like running away. �She, well, Ibuki-taii I
mean, uh� she made an offer and� at first I think it was just to distract me
but I talked to her later and ah� well� she� well we actually� ah��

Rei stared at the boy silently.

The blue-eyed boy
coughed nervously. He desperately wanted to run away. �We� had sex. Kind of.�

The first child
raised an eyebrow slightly. �Kind of.� She
stated/inquired.

�Hai� well, she gave me� ah� oral sex. I was still upset
about the dummy plug revelation and scared about what was going on with me and�
I have no excuse. Gomen nasai, Rei-chan.�
Shinji stared at the floor, his cheeks burning in shame.

The blue-haired
girl resisted the urge to say that she knew about it already, as she realized
that might scare the boy. �No need for apology.�

�Well I� but I�
cheated on you� kind of. I mean, we weren�t officially in a relationship, but I
knew I wanted to be in one with you.� Shinji protested. Even though being with Rei would make him happier than he had been in his entire
life, he still felt undeserving of her affection.

�Are you in love
with Ibuki-taii?� Rei
inquired. She already knew he wasn�t, but she had to put the boy�s mind at ease
somehow.

�No! Of course not!
It was just�� He wasn�t sure what to say. He couldn�t say it was meaningless,
because it wasn�t. And that would imply that he thought of women as cheap
objects to be used and thrown away. He couldn�t really say it meant something
to him either because that would imply that he looked on the act fondly and
perhaps wanted to repeat it. He was screwed either way.

�Then you have not
cheated on me, Shinji-kun.� The first child stated as firmly as her soft voice
allowed. �I have not asked you to share your body only with me. It is yours to
do with as you choose. If, however, you truly wish to court me, I claim
dominion over your heart.� The way she said it was�
borderline scary.

The third child
paled slightly, unsure how to take that statement. �I don�t understand.�
Clarification seemed of vital importance here.

�As long as I am
first in your heart, you are free to do as you choose.� Rei
elaborated, though it still wasn�t entirely clear.

�Well, I�� Shinji
scratched his head, confused.

�I bought a rice
steamer.� The first child stated out of the blue, completely changing the
subject.

The blue-eyed boy
shook his head in confusion. �What?�

�I bought a rice
steamer.� She repeated in the exact same tone as before. �You wished me to have
a rice steamer, so I purchased one.�

The third child�s
mouth dropped open in surprise. He glanced around and his brow furrowed in
confusion. �But where�d you put it? Where could
you put it?�

Rei pointed to the curtain behind her bed and
dresser that covered the sliding door leading to the balcony. �For the moment,
it is out with my washing machine. Perhaps we can do a little reorganization in
here and find a more suitable place to set it in here that will not be in the
way.�

Shinji shook his
head, still baffled. �But� why did you buy one so suddenly?�

The first child
tilted her head slightly. �You asked me to.�

The young Ikari blushed self-consciously. �Well no, I didn�t mean� I
wasn�t ordering you to run out and buy one. I just suggested we get one. Someday.�

�I chose today. Sit
down, I prepared lunch.� Rei walked into the entrance
hallway and poured some miso soup with seaweed into
bowls, and placed some teriyaki-chicken strips onto a small plate for Shinji.
She brought those and the pickled vegetables to the table then went outside to
scoop some steamed rice into bowls as well. Then she poured water for them
both, much to the embarrassment of the boy who she could tell was more
comfortable being on the giving end of such treatment. She handed him some nice
chopsticks in a cloth carrying case. �These are yours while you are here.�

Shinji stared at
the meal and the chopsticks in astonishment. He had never felt so� welcome in
his entire life, and it scared him. �You� didn�t have to do all this, Rei-chan! You�re embarrassing me.�

The first child
stared at the boy silently for a few moments before responding. �If� it
displeases you��

�No! That�s not
what I mean! I�m just� it�s overwhelming.� The third child corrected hastily.

Rei nodded, accepting that explanation. �If you
have any favorites, please let me know and I will attempt to cook them next
time. If I know how. I� do not have much experience
with cooking.�

Shinji smiled and
nodded. �Ah� I have been cooking for most of my life. I would be glad to� teach
you.�

A blush crept into
the red-eyed girl�s cheeks. �Now you
are embarrassing me.� She stated
softly.

The third child
smiled. He wondered why it was that he felt so comfortable with her in times
like this, but other times, she scared the hell out of him. He felt he really
would have to get accustomed to her mannerisms. He paused thoughtfully as he
chewed on a piece of chicken. �Ah, you didn�t have to make chicken. I know how
you feel about meat.�

�I dislike eating
meat. I do not understand why others enjoy it, but I do not deny them to the
right to choose whether they eat it or not, Shinji-kun. If you wish to devour
the dead flesh of fowls, I shall cook it for you.� Rei
deadpanned.

�Thank you, Rei-chan. That is very kind.� Shinji grinned, unphased by
her graphic descriptions of meat-eating. Mostly, anyway.

Rei sipped her soup silently.

The third child
glanced at the girl, not feeling as strange about her silence this time. �Ah� so� you and Asuka?� He
inquired, attempting to fish information out of the quiet girl.

The girl raised her
red eyes to meet the blue eyes of the boy. She casually chewed on a piece of
pickled Japanese radish.

�Ah� I mean� we, er she and I, I mean� talked
this morning and� I got the impression that something was going on between you
two.� Shinji paused for a few moments to see if that got a response, but it
didn�t. �Ah� is there?�

Rei hovered her chopsticks over the rice as she
contemplated how best to answer that question. �Yes.� She finally replied,
simply.

�Oh! �Oh.� Shinji fell silent, unsure of how to take that news.

The first child
chewed on some rice as she stared at the boy silently. �She has kissed me on
several occasions, and has indicated she wishes to do more. However, she has
not yet done so.�

�Oh.� The young Ikari commented, still unsure how to take the news.

The blue-haired
girl regarded the boy curiously, puzzled at his reaction. �Does this news upset
you?�

�No! I mean� ah� if
she will make you happy, I won�t stand in your way. I am just a little
confused.� The third child responded honestly.

�Because
you care for Asuka-chan as well?� Rei inquired.

�Well� yes. I mean�
no. I mean� I don�t know. I� I chose you, and I would again. But yes, I do care
for her as well. But I care for you more.� Shinji responded, getting more
confused rather than less.

The first child
finished off her rice and looked at her fellow pilot. �My feelings for Asuka-chan have no bearing on my feelings for you,
Shinji-kun. I care for you both. However, if you ask me to refuse her advances,
I will. It will hurt her feeling, however. And I do not wish to do so unless
absolutely necessary.�

�But
what about your feelings?� The third child asked, shaking his head in
confusion. �What do you want?�

�If I felt nothing
for her, I would not allow her to kiss me. I would not care whether her
feelings were hurt or not. I am not a
doll.� Rei stated the last part a little more firmly
then she intended. Shinji had never accused her of being a doll, and as far as
she knew, he had never thought it. But it was a touchy subject for her.

�Of course, I didn�t
mean to imply any different. I just� wanted to be sure.� Shinji forced a smile,
though he was still confused. He had stated his intentions to court the girl,
she agreed readily, but then less than ten minutes later she says she likes Asuka and doesn�t want to give her up. He didn�t really
want to ask her to give the other girl up, but he didn�t want to give her up
either. He was baffled why the girl seemed to be so nonchalant about this. He
finished up his lunch and patted his stomach, feeling happy despite his
confusion. He gave Ayanami a gentle smile and
inquired �So� now what do you want to do?�

Rei stared at the third child silently.

*************************

Next chapter: More
than likely, something sexy is going to happen. Muahahahah!!!
Though how sexy, you�ll have to wait and see. Rei,
Shinji, and Asuka are of course going to be around�
perhaps Kaoru will keep looking for Adam, or maybe I�ll leave him out of the
chapter. I do believe Ritsuko will pay a visit to
Maya. I�ll see how things shake out, so I won�t comment further than that. Bwahahahaha!!!! Fare thee well, good folk.
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Only in Your Eyes Am I Worthy