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Our Beginning	By : Eliza_Kitty Category: +S to Z > Wolf's Rain Views: 2797 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or series of Wolf’s Rain. They belong to BONES & Keiko Nobumoto. This story is non-profit for my own and others’ enjoyment. Thank you. :)

Chapter List
- 24
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Soooo… I am so sorry it took me so long to get this next chapter up. I’ve had a lot of things going on… I won’t get into it. I’m sure you’d rather just read. Hehe… BUT! Please know this is the longest chapter I’ve written so far! And I hope it was worth the wait. Please enjoy! <3

FYI: If you prefer the "uncut" version, please check out adult fanfiction dot net or deviant art.

Caution: Further chapters will contain mature content such as language and yaoi, Tsume/Toboe. Be forewarned.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or series of Wolf’s Rain. They belong to BONES & Keiko Nobumoto. This story is non-profit for my own and others’ enjoyment. Thank you. :)

Nothing But Fear

It was the next morning that he awoke to the smell of smoldered ashes, the feeling of silky strands of hair against his lips. The boy was still asleep next to him, his long auburn hair strung out around him. The man smiled, nuzzling against his head and breathing in his scent again. He’d grown so used to it already.

He listened to the boy’s breathing, slow and steady, his body rising and falling. Smiling, he gently kissed his forehead before slowly sitting up. He pulled the blanket off of himself, standing up. He went to the back of the jeep, finding a jug of water. Walking over to the fire, he began to pour it over the ashes, making sure it was completely out.

The sound of water splashing caused the boy to stir, moaning a little in his sleep. The man smiled again, putting the lid on the jug and tightening it when he was done. After placing it back in the jeep, he proceeded to go around the makeshift campsite, gathering their belongings.

A few minutes passed before he heard the boy again, “Mmm, Tsume?”

Tsume stopped, turning around to look at the boy. He was sitting up, rubbing his eyes. “You’re still here.” He spoke, his brows making him look worried.

“What? …Of course I’m still here.” He answered plainly, looking away and bending over to grab the cooler. He walked to the back of the jeep, placing it inside. When he turned around, he noticed the boy was going through his backpack and pulling out clothes. He began to undress and which caused Tsume to blush, darting his glance away.

“After you fell asleep, I wondered if you wouldn’t try to sneak away in the morning.” The boy smiled as he took off the white shirt, dirtied from the day before. “I need a shower,” he grimaced, before noticing his companion who was looking away awkwardly. “What?” he asked, confused.

“Just hurry up, Toboe.” Tsume angrily replied, still looking away.

Toboe looked down at himself, only in his underwear. “Oh,” he blushed as well, “Ok…” He hadn’t even realized… but it wasn’t like Tsume hadn’t seen him like this before… and much less at that. He frowned, switching his underwear out while he was at it, hurriedly putting fresh clothes on. “There.” He muttered when he was done.

He held his backpack as he watched Tsume turn back around, glancing at him for a second before he continued loading the jeep. A minute passed by before the man motioned him over, “Here,” he reached out, taking his bag from him. His hand swept over Toboe’s for a second, causing the two of them to pause for a second, catching each other’s gaze.

The boy smiled, closing his eyes as he leaned into him. He was expecting a morning greeting with warm lips, but when nothing happened he opened his eyes again. Looking up with a frown, he saw that the man had his head turned away from him. Furthermore, his face looked red and angry, which confused the boy even more. Why wouldn’t he kiss him?

“Are you ready to go?” Tsume asked impatiently, walking over to the driver’s side of the jeep.

After being ignored like that, Toboe frowned, feeling hurt and rejected. Why was he acting like this? They just kissed the night before. Why was now any different? He pouted his lips, his brow furrowed. “Yes,” he replied half-heartedly, sticking his nose up. He walked over to the jeep’s passenger side, noticing a problem. “There’s no doors?” he asked.

“They’re in the back. I’ll get ‘em put on later. Just wait it out, ok?” Tsume answered, starting the car. Toboe glared at him, hoping that he noticed. It didn’t appear so. Sighing, he climbed in, situating himself and buckling the seatbelt in place.

“So, which way?” The man asked, glancing in his direction.

“West… Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” Toboe smugly answered, crossing his arms and looking away.

“Ok…” Tsume commented, his tone confused as he turned the wheel. He didn’t understand why the kid was acting like this, whether it might have been something he said or did… or just the lack of sleep. Shrugging it off, he turned the car onto the desert dirt, heading west towards their destination.

…

The sun wasn’t as hot that day, even though it was already in the afternoon. The black jeep shined brightly with the sun’s gleam as it drove along the desert highway. There was complete silence between the two figures in the car, the boy looking out the open side of his door while the man watched him, frowning.

Everything had gone awkward and it made him a little upset. He didn’t know why he was being given the silent treatment let alone the attitude. He watched as the boy sighed, a frown on his face as well as he held onto his seat. Wasn’t it just yesterday that they were so grateful to find each other again? That was nothing short of a miracle…

It was odd, but he was beginning to believe what the boy had been telling him from the get-go. Maybe they were here to complete the journey… He didn’t want to before, but now it seemed he didn’t have a choice. He didn’t have anything to lose… right?

The boy glanced over at him, probably feeling his golden eyes watching him. The man then quickly darted his gaze away, watching the road ahead. From the corner of his eye he saw the kid turn away once more, that frown still on his face.

They had passed by the first town a couple of hours ago. The kid wanted to stop, but he didn’t. They couldn’t take any chances. They had to keep moving… That could have been why he was mad. But then why had it been like this all morning?

He didn’t want to say anything… but he didn’t want it to be like this forever. It seemed like they were apart again… Last night he felt so relaxed lying next to him, like everything was normal again. But now… he couldn’t stand the silence. Eventually the kid had to say something, right? …But he had to make the first move, didn’t he?

“Ok, I give up.” The man spoke.

“What?” the boy replied, a little startled as he turned to face him.

“Why are you mad at me?” The man wouldn’t look at him, but kept his eyes forward on the road. His tone seemed a little angry, but it was mostly confused.

The boy frowned at this, clutching his fists and looking down again. He didn’t want to talk about it. But mostly, he was surprised that he even asked. Not wanting to answer, he decided to do so anyways. He sighed, “…I’m not mad, Tsume.”

“Yes you are, Toboe. It’s obvious…”

Toboe darted his glance back to him, suddenly a little angry at the tone in Tsume’s voice. It held a hint of humor, which caught him off guard. Was he mocking him?

“No…” the boy frowned.

“You know, you did this before,” the man continued, “But…” he turned to face him, his tone now turning softened, “I can’t make it better if I don’t know what I did… So tell me.”

When he smiled a little at him, it made the boy blush a little. He didn’t expect that… But he also knew that Tsume’s sincere demeanor to him wouldn’t last… Toboe bit his lip, looking down again, “It’s not like I can just say anything…” he muttered, “You’ll just get more mad at me. You always do.”

Tsume frowned, “That’s not… Fine. Have it your way.” He growled as he shot his head away again, a scowl on his face. The boy took notice, frowning as well.

See? He knew he wasn’t going to change that easily… But… for some reason he didn’t want to let it go now. That was something that wasn’t going to change about him either. Tsume wanted to talk? Then they were going to talk. Toboe glanced at him again, his brows furrowed. He was going to get to the bottom of this and settle things. He didn’t want to stay angry forever. This was not what he planned when he said they would search for paradise together.

Tsume wouldn’t look at him and he bit his lip, “This morning… you were mean to me. That’s why I’m mad.”

The man did glance over at him then, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Be more specific.”

He still sounded angry, and this made Toboe angrier as well, “From the moment I woke up today, you’ve been acting like I’m a stranger! When I changed clothes-“

“Just tell me next time before you change.” Tsume angrily interrupted him.

The boy stopped. Was that it? Seriously?

“It was just a little skin...” he spoke, the anger in his tone subsided.

“I know, but… It made me uneasy...”

A part of Toboe wanted to laugh, but he held back from doing so. That would only make it worse… He watched Tsume’s face now change from anger to embarrassment, still not looking at him. He didn’t have to act like this… Even though the man’s embarrassment partially entertained him, he still wanted to understand. “You’ve seen me naked before…” he spoke, trying to reason with him.

Tsume just bit his lip, not saying anything.

Toboe frowned, continuing, “… and then, when I tried to kiss you…”

“You’re right. I don’t want to talk about it.”

When Tsume’s callous tone came right back, it caused Toboe’s anger to come back as well. Not thinking, he growled, grabbing the closest thing to him. It happened to be his empty water jug, which he immediately threw at the man in frustration. Whirling right at Tsume’s head, it bounced off him with a loud thud from the momentum.

Not expecting the sudden attack, he cried out and his hand on the wheel swerved to car to the left. Almost losing control of the vehicle, he growled, quickly pulling it over to the side of the road. Turning the keys off in the ignition, he angrily spun his head over to face the boy, “ “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“STOP IT!” came the boy’s loud and angry cries. Tsume was taken aback, his eyes wide and his anger suddenly diminishing when he saw his face. Toboe had tears streaming down his face as he bit his lip. “Just stop it!” he continued, “I’m not doing this again! I can’t…” he was crying now and brought an arm up to cover his face, embarrassed at his reactions, “I don’t want to cry over you anymore… So please… just stop.”

A moment later the boy’s eyes widened when he felt strong arms wrap around him. He looked up as Tsume took him into a tight embrace. Toboe didn’t resist, but he did frown, not wanting to give in like this. He pressed his face into the man’s stomach, latching onto him.

“I’m sorry…” the man grimaced as he stroked the boy’s long hair. “It’s just that… I’m afraid.”

Toboe looked up, curious, “Afraid?” he asked.

Tsume wouldn’t look at him as he bit his lip, his tone thick in frustration, “Of what I might do… if I get too close to you. The last time... I won’t do that to you again…”

Images of a familiar night flashed into the boy’s mind, threatening golden eyes and strong hands that painfully clutched onto his arms. He felt the pit of his stomach swirling and his breathing stand still, “Oh…” he frowned. He didn’t really want to remember that. It was different now. Tsume would never hurt him like that again… right?

“So… let’s just go slow. Ok?”

Toboe nodded, pulling away from him and sitting up. “Ok…” he muttered. He listened as the car was started once more, turning them back onto the road. A few minutes passed by in silence. They were right back to where they started.

The boy couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable now. He thought that by talking it out, things would get better… but now they were worse. He wanted to glance over at Tsume, wondering what his face looked like. But he didn’t. He felt incredibly embarrassed.

Clasping his hands together in his lap, he looked over his right shoulder. He watched the land passing by as they drove along, the colors of yellow and gold blurring together in a haze. The sand and dirt kicked up from the wheel of the jeep and he frowned, feeling uneasy. “I don’t like the door not being there.” A reply from Tsume didn’t come and he sighed.

Toboe could feel his eyes getting sleepy. They’d been on the road since early that morning. “I’m tired…” he muttered, yawning. Normally he would rest against the car door, but there was none. He just couldn’t get comfortable. Tsume must have noticed this because he said something, “Lean against me.”

The boy glanced over, watching the man’s face, cool and collected. He frowned, looking away again, “No… that’s ok…”

“Oh, stop it.” Came the sudden reply, Tsume’s arm pulling him next to him. The boy blushed at the sudden movement, his eyes widened slightly. He gave up. He always did… He could always be strong when he needed to, just as he had with Miri’s pack. But when he was with Tsume… he felt weak… But it wasn’t that felt like less of a wolf… he just felt hopeless when he was in his arms.

A few minutes passed by, Toboe still resting next to Tsume. He hadn’t been able to go to sleep, not even for a moment. Glancing up, he saw the man’s eyes still on the road, his face relaxed. Still feeling a bit awkward, he decided to strike up a new conversation. In doing this, he hoped it would relieve his mind of troubled thoughts, “You never did tell me how you found me.” He spoke.

He could feel Tsume shift a little before he replied, “I was driving this way. After I pulled over and set up camp for the night, I actually caught your scent in the air. It was unmistakable.” He smiled, “I followed it out of curiosity, thinking I was crazy… But then I heard you yelling.”

Toboe blushed, nuzzling against him. He wanted to know everything, not just that. But he was afraid to ask. He especially wondered about the bandages on the man’s face, what had happened to him… Looking up, he realized the man’s facial expression had changed. He didn’t appear carefree any longer, but saddened.

This made the boy frown, trying to imagine what was going through his head. He ran his eyes over him, examining the cuts and bruises, his deep frown and messy silver hair. Sighing, he slowly placed his hand on the man’s leg, brushing it with his fingertips. He wanted to comfort him, to let him know that he was there.

“I like your hair… by the way.” He softly spoke, smiling.

Tsume just shortly glanced at him and managed to flash a small smile, “Thanks.” He answered.

Tsume could feel the boy’s hand on his leg. It made him uncomfortable. Yes, he wanted to be close to him, but just as they were now… he couldn’t help but still feel guilt. It was like the memories of those days were starting to come back to him and it only made him regret more.

“It’s nice longer like this…” the boy spoke again, sitting up. He didn’t remove his hand, looking down, “I think it softens you.”

Tsume frowned, “Well, you look like a girl.”

The man’s eyes widened and his face dropped, realizing the insult he’d just thrown at the kid. Slowly turning to look at him, he expected nothing but tears. Instead, the kid’s face was in a dark scowl, his eyes blazing in anger at him.

“I could kill you, Tsume.” He growled.

Tsume couldn’t help but laugh, unsure if he was half joking or not. Either way, the look on his face was hilarious. A moment passed before he heard the boy’s laughs chime in as well. He laughed harder, placing a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry!” he breathed, “I’m really sorry!”

The boy just smiled back at him, still laughing. Regardless of how things had changed and where this road was taking them… some things would never change. This was something that he had realized about Tsume. He wasn’t perfect. But for now, he was happy to be here with him on this lonely road.

The man wrapped his arm around him once more as their laughter began to cease. Pulling him closer, he kissed the top of his head. “I forgive you,” the boy muttered. The man smiled. ...Maybe he could be happy… now that they were together again. They could start anew, do everything over… and this time he would get it right.

The rest of the day continued in silence, each of them relaxed in each other’s arms as they drove west. Toboe eventually drifted off to sleep with a smile and a sigh, feeling safe and content in the man’s arms. Tsume held him close, also smiling as the sun began to set that day. The next town should be coming up soon. They would get a place to stay for a while… take a break before they figured out what to do next.

After all, he was still on the run…

…

Two weeks had gone by since that day. He could still remember gathering sticks and brush to start the campfire when a wind blew past him. The smell of peaches filled his nostrils, sending his mind wild with curiosity. It couldn’t be…

But even when he ignored the impulse to follow the scent, the boy’s voice echoed in the distance. In that moment he knew it wasn’t just a mistake. And sure enough, there he was underneath the desert sun, still hot as it began to set.

After over a year apart from each other, it didn’t even seem real.

And on top of that, here they were again… repeating their search for paradise. He couldn’t believe how quickly he’d given into the boy’s demands. He wanted to keep Toboe safe… he wanted to leave. Didn’t he?

He couldn’t help it though… even when the kid told him he wouldn’t leave him again, he had to admit that a part of him was happy because of that. Yes, he didn’t want any harm to come to him because of the mess he’d gotten mixed up in. But… he didn’t want to be apart from him either.

It had been too long… He couldn’t do that again.

And there still hadn’t been any signs of Keith or his men for almost three weeks. Maybe he was in the clear, if even for a little while?

He should be grateful that Toboe wanted to remain by his side, regardless of what it might bring. Did he really care for him that much?

He shouldn’t have been stressed like this. He knew that by now his nerves were rubbing off on the kid. Every time he tried to get close to him, he ended up shutting him out. It wasn’t even like they were lovers anymore, but close friends. There were several times by now that he tried to just hold his hand… but every time he pushed him away. He could tell that Toboe was frustrated by this, wanting to be near him…

But he couldn’t touch him.

Furthermore… he wanted to… But he just couldn’t bring himself to do that. It made him feel weak, selfish… and even perverted at times. He wondered if the kid knew this… was he doing it on purpose? To tease him?

“Stop it, Toboe.” The man muttered, brushing the boy’s hand away from him.

“What?” Toboe smiled, ignoring his friend’s request. He reached his hand up again, petting the back of the man’s head. He could feel the tension rising between them and he knew it was wrong of him to persist on touching him, “Tsume, I do like it, not bristly like before.”

Toboe laughed when Tsume glanced at him, his brows furrowed and his cheeks red. As he began to play with the ponytail that remained as it was before, the man batted at him once again. “Don’t touch me!” he glared.

The boy frowned, withdrawing his hand and pausing for a moment. Then, without a second thought, he smiled and reached up again, roughly stroking the man’s hair and ponytail. “But, Tsume, I can’t help it! It’s so soft!”

“Fine! See if you like it!” Tsume growled, grabbing the boy’s hair that was in a long braid. “Ahh!” Toboe cried out in pain, “Let go! It hurts!” he yelled again, tugging on the man’s arm.

Tsume just smiled menacingly, now that he had the upper hand. The boy kept pulling at him, but it was no use. “How does it feel?” the man growled, laughing a little. Toboe whined, struggling to get free. He began wildly flailing his arms as he was wrestled to the ground, yelling at him the whole time to stop it.

“Why you!” Tsume growled when the boy managed to hit him. He let go of his hair and began grabbing at him instead, hitting ticklish areas. The boy’s cries eventually turned into laughter as he still tried to escape. Tsume grabbed Toboe’s arms when he tried to hit him again, now lying on top of him. He laughed again, having pinned him completely.

“You idiot,” he smirked, looking down at the boy’s face full of tears and laughter.

Tsume watched as Toboe wiped his eyes with his sleeve, still laughing a little. His long auburn hair had come undone and it was now in a tangled mess all around him. He noticed his hazel eyes as well and smiled softly. His skin was as soft as he remembered, the feeling of him lying underneath him flashing images through his mind.

The boy finally caught his wandering gaze and looked up, losing his laughter. He could see a far away look in the man’s right eye, his lips parted as if he were imagining something. He suddenly felt embarrassed… he knew that look. He blushed, “Tsume…” he breathed.

Tsume snapped back to reality at the mention of his name, letting go of the boy’s wrists. Biting his lip, he frowned and immediately climbed off the top of him. He moved a few feet away from him, his back turned to him.

Toboe frowned as well, rolling over. His cheeks were still red when he sat up, watching Tsume searching through a grocery sack. The boy brought his knees up to rest his chin on, wrapping one arm around his legs. Running his hand through the blades of grass at his side, he frowned.

The way things were, it was like they were back at square one… Tsume was acting cold just as before they really knew each other. He would hardly touch him, let alone talk to him much. It seemed like their only conversations were about what they were going to eat or where they were going next.

They were on the search for paradise once again… but he thought this time would be different. …Even their relationship was different from the last time… Had that changed?

Toboe glanced over at Tsume, his face stern and concentrated as he bit into an apple. He watched as the juice slid down the man’s chin and neck, glistening in the light of the sun over his muscles. Tsume wiped his mouth of the juices, licking his fingertips before he took another bite. Quickly turning his head away, Toboe blushed.

He felt dirty for thinking like that… He thought he could be stronger than this, but he wasn’t. He felt like nothing more than a pervert, wanting Tsume like this. Was he wrong to feel that way?

After all, they’d been through so much together and had spent so much time apart… He thought that now they were back together again, they could start over, pick up where they left off… But Tsume didn’t want that, did he?

Toboe frowned, burying his face into his knees.

He was being treated like a child… just as before.

But he had changed! He was older now; he had grown not only in body but in mind. Couldn’t Tsume see that? …When he was with Miri and the others, he was treated like a man. He was a pack member, a wolf. He wanted to feel strong again. He wanted to feel needed. They were doing this together, weren’t they?

Toboe looked up, seeing that Tsume had finished eating. He knew that it wasn’t that Tsume no longer had feelings for him. He was acting this way because of what had happened before. He was afraid of what might happen. But… that was in the past. Things were different now…

He couldn’t keep this up forever. Eventually Tsume had to let him back in… He thought that after a few days of leaving him alone that the older wolf would let down his guard. But it only seemed like it was getting worse…

He bit his lip, deciding what he was going to do next. Whether he had to force this man to be with him or trick him into it, he was going to make him pay some bit of attention to him. With that, he stood up and walked behind Tsume, bending over and wrapping his arms around him.

The man immediately tensed up, raising his hand to pry him away, “Toboe, I don’t want-“

“I don’t care what you want.” The boy smiled. He hugged him tighter, resting his head on the top of his. “This is what I want.” He could feel Tsume’s shoulders and arms lowering, giving in to his embrace. The two figures stayed like that for a while, soaking in the feeling of each other’s touch.

After a few minutes the man couldn’t help it, reaching his left arm up to pull the boy’s head in closer. Tilting his chin up, he brought his lips to meet his, taking in a soft kiss. A moment or two passed before he pulled away, smiling at the boy who was now blushing and smiling as well.

“There, how’s that?” Tsume asked.

Toboe glanced away from his golden eyes, embarrassed yet pleased. He didn’t answer though, but after a second or two he went in for another hug. Dropping down to his knees, he nuzzled against the man’s back. He was still holding onto him when he felt a hand patting his arms. “Ok, now…” came Tsume’s voice.

The boy let go, knowing that was all he was going to get for now. He still wanted more, but if this was all he could give him… then he was satisfied.

“Tsume…” he spoke after a minute or two, now sitting beside him.

Tsume glanced down, a questioned look in his expression. The boy continued, “I know it will probably make you mad, but… I want to know. What happened… underneath those bandages?” He watched as the man frowned, turning away from him. “I’m sorry,” he immediately spoke again, “It’s just…”

The boy didn’t continue from there, he could tell the man’s mood had switched. What was wrong with him? His curiosity always drove him away… He asked too many questions, he knew this. So why did he keep doing it?

“We should get going,” Tsume spoke, standing up. Standing over the boy, he reached a hand out to him, “C’mon, then.” Toboe looked up, surprised at the kind gesture. He reluctantly took the man’s hand and was pulled to his feet. He brushed the grass and dirt off his pants, frowning. Normally Tsume would be angry for poking him with personal questions… but he wasn’t acting angry.

Did he hurt his feelings?

“Tsume…” he breathed, turning around. He watched as the man walked over to the black jeep, having picked up the cooler. He was now loading it in the back, along with a bag filled with food they’d not eaten. “Lunch’s over,” he answered, “We gotta get to the next town and get a place to stay for a while… How’s that sound?”

Toboe couldn’t help but smiled, “A while?” he repeated, running over to the passenger door.

Tsume nodded, “Yes, I’m tired of the road. Aren’t you?” He walked over to the driver’s side, opening the door and climbing in. The boy followed his suit, thankful for the answer and also for the door that was now attached to the vehicle. It relaxed him.

The boy hurriedly got into his seat, buckling himself in. He listened as the man laughed a little bit before pulling a box of cigarettes out of his pocket. He lit one up before starting the car, taking in a deep breath before blowing out the smoke. “We deserve a good rest, I think.” He sighed.

Toboe frowned as he watched him inhale on his cigarette again. He didn’t like this new habit… not since the day after he’d found him. He wanted to say something for a while… But right now, it wasn’t a good time. He liked this cheerful Tsume and didn’t want to ruin it.

“Tsume,” the boy spoke up as they got on the road once more.

“Hnn?”

“Can we stay in the next town for more than one day?”

Tsume glanced at him curiously and he continued, looking down, “It’s just that… I know we’re supposed to find paradise, but I need a break. I…” he met his eyes, “I don’t want to think about it for a while. A rest would be good, like you said.”

The man smiled, nodding, “No worries, runt.”

Toboe paused for a minute before smiling, “Runt… I haven’t heard that in a while.”

“Oh,” Tsume frowned, “I didn’t-“

“No!” the boy stopped him, “…I missed it.”

Toboe moved closer to his friend, slowly placing his hand on his leg. He was surprised when after a minute or two, he felt the man’s hand over his, entwining his fingers with his own. Looking up, he saw that a small blush had crept upon Tsume’s face that was frowning.

But he knew that he wasn’t angry, just embarrassed. He smiled, squeezing his hand and resting his head on his shoulder. They were starting over, creating a new beginning for the both of them. In time, things would be as they were… but only better.

…

The man sighed, turning the key in the lock as soon as he walked up to the door. He knew that the kid was waiting inside for him to return from his trip to the local grocer’s. It had been over a week now since they’d found a place to stay. It was nice to forget… But it wouldn’t be long before they would need to pick up where they left off.

They were taking their time, resting from the long drives, day after day, town after town. They were staying in a small town not too far off from the highway. The motel was decent, small like the town without much traffic passing through. It was older, but clean and it even had a little kitchenette.

This was much to Toboe’s delight, who insisted on cooking for him since the day they rented the place. While he had managed to pick up a few tricks during their time apart, he still enjoyed it. As soon as he brought this bag inside, he knew the kid would run right over to him.

He no doubt would smile at all the ingredients he’d managed to find, say a few things here and there. Then he’d take the bag, unpack everything and begin cooking while he himself found a place to sit and watch him… probably at the chair and table by the window.

Eventually Toboe would join him, sitting across from him in the other chair after he brought him dinner. After their meal, they would most likely watch a little bit of television. The boy would fall asleep, then he would slip outside for a cigarette break before going to sleep himself.

That was how every night had been for the past week. He was comfortable with the routine… but something was beginning to bother him.

Ever since that kiss he gave him during their lunch that day… Toboe hadn’t tried anything. Why was that?

It really shouldn’t have mattered. He should have been relieved… But he was starting to wonder. Was he mad at him? He certainly didn’t seem like it… they hadn’t gotten into much of their usual fights, aside from occasional bantering here and there… And Toboe hadn’t questioned him like normally since…

Was that it? …So why?

He was so used to the kid’s prying, always wanting more answers… and he just stopped.

Something was off… Had Toboe just simply given up?

Maybe he thought it was pointless… he’d been so closed off to him for a while now. The only time he showed any sort of affection was when the boy practically forced him into it, whether it be a short kiss or just holding his hand… And this was just when they were at their motel, not in public.

He was further starting to wonder… was it more than just that one incident that was holding him back?

No… he still loved him, he knew that. And it was obvious that Toboe still had feelings for him…

So why was he still not letting him in?

He quietly opened the door to their motel room, expecting to see him there on his bed surfing through the channels on the television. But he wasn’t. As he closed the door behind him, he heard the tub running in the bathroom.

He sat the bag on the kitchenette counter, pushing it away from the edge. Pausing for a moment, he reached into his pocket to pull out a pack of cigarettes. He began tapping it into the palm of his other hand, thinking he would have a free moment before the kid got out.

But right before he lit one up, he heard the bathroom door open. Looking up, he saw Toboe stepping out in a towel that he held to him. “Tsume, you’re back.” He smiled, “I was just about to take a bath, but-“

“Go ahead.” Tsume nodded.

The boy frowned, noticing the cigarette pressed between his lips with his lighter ready. “You can’t smoke in here, remember?”

The man groaned, “I know, I know.”

“Well, I don’t want to pay a fine! Go outside with it!” Toboe snapped before going back into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Tsume laughed a little, half surprised at the way he’d just been scolded. Shrugging, he did as he was told and opened the front door again. Closing it, he leaned against the cold cement wall of the motel, noticing that the night had fallen. He could already see the stars now as he flicked his lighter on.

He thought that Toboe hadn’t changed that much since they were together before… But that wasn’t true at all. He’d grown, not just his hair, height, voice or age… but emotionally. Yes, he would still get into those whiny moods of his and nag at him, or get all teary eyed when he wanted to be near him… but there was more to it.

Blowing out a puff of smoke he realized something… Why was it that he’d changed like this? …Come to think of it, he never even asked him what he’d been through, let alone thought about it. Was that why the kid was acting odd?

Maybe he should ask about it… put an end to this so they could move on. And honestly, he was curious now…

Finishing his break, he went back inside after stomping out his cigarette. He slipped off his boots, kicking them next to the boy’s by the door. After that, he dressed down to just his jeans, deciding he was going to shower after the kid was done.

Going over to lay on the bed, he picked up the remote and turned the television on, immediately clicking from channel to channel. It wasn’t long before the bathroom door opened again but he ignored the interruption. Toboe walked out, now dressed in pajama bottoms and one of the man’s t-shirts that hung like a curtain on him. His hair was wet as he rubbed it with one of the motel towels.

He walked over to the bed where Tsume was lying on, still flipping through channels as he ignored him. He climbed in next to him, sitting by his side with his back against the wall. “What are you watching?” he asked, glancing at the television.

“Nothing,” the man answered, clicking it off. “I’m going to bed soon anyways.” He turned to the boy who was still drying his hair with the towel. “I think we should leave tomorrow… get going again.” He watched as Toboe turned his head from side to side, running his fingers through his long wet hair. “Sure, I guess so.” He plainly replied, not looking at him.

Tsume frowned. The kid was doing it again… acting like he didn’t have a care in the world. He wanted to ask him why… but he didn’t know if he’d be opening a can of worms by doing so. But still…

“Toboe,” the man sighed.

“What?” he asked, turning to look at him with those doe like eyes of his.

Tsume glanced away, rubbing the back of his head. He couldn’t go through with it, “Aren’t you gonna make dinner? …It’s getting late.” He looked over to the counter where the bag of groceries still sat.

“No, I already ate while you were gone.”

The man looked back to him, a scowl on his face, “…I went out to get everything… for you… like you asked…”

Toboe just smiled at him through his teeth, “Sorry… I couldn’t wait. I was too hungry.” He laughed a little, making Tsume even angrier. The boy noticed this and patted the man’s leg, “But you can make something! …I just don’t want to.” He smirked.

Tsume didn’t say anything as he got up and went into the kitchen. He pulled out the groceries from the bag with a groan, heating up the cooktop and pulling out a pan from the cabinet. As the pan heated, he began chopping celery and onions, as well as boiling water that was already ready to go. It wasn’t long before Toboe walked up behind him just as he added dried noodles to the water.

“What are you making?” he asked curiously.

“Chow mein.” He answered, adding the vegetables to the heated pan now soaked in oil.

Tsume went through the steps, drying the boiled noodles and adding them to the stir fry before pouring sauce over everything. It wasn’t long before it was done and ready to eat. He turned off the burner and grabbed a couple of plates, rolling his eyes at his audience.

Toboe certainly looked hungry now.

He filled the plates with the noodles and brought them over to the table and two chairs by the window. The boy joined him as he sat down, beginning to take bites of his hot food. He continued chewing as he watched Toboe begin to dig in, moaning in delight, “Tsume, this is great!”

The man smiled, feeling accomplished. It made him happy. But then… he decided to bring out what was preying on his mind. He swallowed a bite before talking, “So why are you acting weird?” he asked.

“Wawt?” Toboe spoke, his mouth full of noodles, “Ah’m nawt octeen weewrd.”

“Yes you are! And don’t talk with your face stuffed! How old are you?!” Tsume spat back.

“Eighteen!” the boy replied angrily after swallowing.

The man paused, blinking as he lost the frustration in his voice, “What? When did that happen?”

Toboe looked away from him with a frown, “…People get older, you know.” He bit his lip, “Not that you noticed.”

Tsume frowned. Was this the reason he was acting so coldly towards him? He looked across the table at the boy whose face was turned away from him, his plate still full. He decided to press further into the matter, “When was your birthday?”

The boy looked at him, his face softening. Biting his lip, he paused and looked down, “Last week…” he muttered.

“Last week?” the man repeated, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You didn’t ask.”

“Was I supposed to?”

Toboe looked up again, his lips pressed, “No…”

“Is that why you’re mad at me?”

“What?” the boy breathed, “I’m not mad at you!” he groaned and stood up, pushing his chair away from him. He stepped over to the bed nearest to him, throwing himself on in with a thud. A few seconds passed before he let out a big sigh, the man watching him.

“I’m just… frustrated.” He spoke into the bedspread.

“Why’s that?”

Toboe moved his head slightly, seeing Tsume now standing next to the bed. “You’re annoying.” He told him.

“I’m annoying?” Tsume smirked.

The boy groaned again, burying his face back into the bed and clutching the blankets with his fists. A few minutes went by and he could still feel his friend standing over him, just watching. He wondered what he would do next, “I’m going to sleep now.” The boy exclaimed.

“That’s my bed. Yours is right there.” The man pointed to the other bed, frowning.

“I don’t care!” he yelled back before pausing, his tone softening, “…This is what I want.”

“It’s always what you want.”

“No it’s not!” Toboe looked at him, his face full of fury, “Nothing has changed! You’re still the same!” he growled, sitting up. “You don’t tell me anything… You don’t touch me… You’re still pushing me away…“

“Is that why you’re upset?”

“You’re so smart, Tsume.” The boy replied sarcastically.

“Hey!” the man grabbed his chin, pulling his face up to look at him. He was now sitting on the bed next to him. Toboe’s face was in a scowl, but he continued anyways, “I’m trying.” He spoke roughly.

“Like hell you’re-“

The boy’s angry outburst was stopped by lips that were pressed against his own. His eyes widened before they softened, taking it in. When the man parted from him, he growled, “You think it’s that easy? That you-“ his lips were taken again, this time a bit harder. He closed his eyes, feeling his insides trembling, his cheeks turning red as he wrapped his arms around the man’s neck. He felt hopeless, as he was giving in yet again.

He moaned when he felt hands pressed against his back, pulling him closer to the warm body next to him. Images of that day in the rain, their first kiss against that brick wall, the scent of sweat and musk… it all began to flash through his mind… Their first night together, the touch of him pressed against him… It was all coming back to him.

“Tsume…” he breathed, his hands beginning to wander.

But it was when his fingers began to trace further up the man’s thigh that everything stopped all together. The kiss was broken and the boy was pushed away, the man sitting back on the bed.

“Tsume…” Toboe spoke again, frowning as he watched his lover move away from him. He was sitting on the side of the bed, his arm resting on one knee while the other was pressed against his head. “I’m sorry…” he muttered, his voice stricken with regret.

“But, Tsume…” the boy breathed, crawling next to him. He placed a hand on the man’s shoulder, worried about the sudden change of events. “It’s not…” he bit his lip, “We don’t have to do anything… just don’t walk away from me… please, Tsume.” He waited for a reply, but nothing came so he continued, “I won’t touch you… Just lay here with me, that’s all I want…”

“It’s not that, Toboe…”

“Then why, Tsume…” he could feel tears in his eyes. His heart was breaking all over again, “I just thought… why can’t you…I…”

Tsume stood to his feet, the boy frowning as he watched him do so, “Because,” he spoke angrily, “I just can’t…”

With that, the man left him sitting alone on the bed, walking away and into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. The boy sat there for a while, his expression sad and worried as he listened to the shower faucet being turned on. He frowned, looking down at his legs.

Was it really that hard for Tsume?

It had been a long time since he left him… that day he walked out the door, his body still carrying cuts and bruises that were inflicted upon him by someone he loved. Yet… He’d already forgiven him long ago but… maybe Tsume hadn’t forgiven himself yet. …Was that it?

He looked up, glancing at the bathroom door. How long would it be before Tsume would come to him, his heart free of worry and grief… Was this just him? A man that hated the very thought of himself?

But even so… he still loved him. Tsume had promised to wait for him, and now here he was… waiting for Tsume.

Toboe sighed and laid back down on the bed, pulling the blankets back and over him. He buried his face into Tsume’s pillows, his mind beginning to imagine it was him as he began to get sleepy. This wasn’t the way he envisioned being with him again as he walked across the desert weeks past. But… maybe all that he needed was patience.

He would wait as long as it took before this man realized that what was in the past, was the past. Eventually he would have to let it go… But it seemed like no matter how hard he tried to show him that he loved him, that he didn’t care anymore… the further away he would run.

Was seemed like minutes later, was actually much longer when Toboe heard the bathroom door creak open. He closed his eyes, his back already turned away as he frowned. He listened as Tsume’s footsteps moved around the room, locking the front door, cleaning up the kitchen and turning off the lights. He then heard the blankets ruffle on the other bed that was designated as his.

But just then, he felt the blankets around him being pulled back. His body froze, his eyes widening as he felt Tsume crawling in next to him and pulling the blankets back over them. He still didn’t move as the man wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into his embrace from behind.

Toboe felt his eyes brimming with tears and he smiled. He could feel Tsume’s warm breath on the back of his neck as he laid next to him, burying his face in his long hair. The boy wanted to cry. He wanted to turn around… to kiss him… touch him… say something…. But he knew he couldn’t do that.

He slowly began to drift off to sleep with the sound of Tsume’s heartbeat against his back. Smiling again, he closed his eyes. His lover was finally starting to give in and let go of everything the past held against them.

And this… was all that he wanted.

…

The boy slowly blinked his eyes open, drearily beginning to awaken. He listened to the sounds of someone moving around the room as he rubbed his cheek into his pillow. There wasn’t much light shining into the room through the cracks past the curtains. Closing his eyes again, he rested them for another or minute or two before deciding to wake up. He couldn’t go back to sleep now.

“Tsume?” he spoke softly as he slowly propped himself on one arm, finding where his friend was. The man was standing near the television, pulling a t-shirt over his head. The boy saw that he wasn’t wearing the bandages on his face, but he could barely make out what he saw without much light.

Tsume sat down on the foot of the bed and began slipping on his boots. “We should get going.” He spoke as he tied the laces.

“Already?” the boy replied, sitting up and yawning, “What time is it?”

“Around seven.”

“It’s too early!” came a surprised reply.

“We’ve got a lot of things to do today.” Tsume stood up and walked into the bathroom.

“Just driving...” the boy spoke after him.

“No.” the man’s answer was calm and short.

The boy didn’t say anything as he looked at the open doorway to the bathroom. The man stepped out after a minute or two, the bandages now wrapped on the left side of his face again, “I thought we’d do something different today.” He smiled.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Toboe, I missed your birthday, didn’t I?”

Toboe began to get excited, his pulse racing, “Really?” he gleamed for a moment before pausing, looking down with a frown, “...But… can we do that? Do we have enough time?” he asked.

Tsume walked over to the dresser, pulling out a few clothing items from the drawer and tossing them at him. The boy caught them and looked back up as his friend continued, “Yeah… it should be ok.” He leaned on the dresser, crossing his arms, “Besides… I’m not done with our break yet, are you?”

“No!” Toboe answered with a smiled. He threw back the sheets and leapt out of bed in a hurried rush. He didn’t expect this as he began to get ready, rushing into the bathroom. Turning on the sink, he heard Tsume call after him, “I’m gonna go see what’s to do here. You finish up and I’ll be back in a sec, k?”

“Ok!” the boy answered, his mouth full of toothpaste as he scrubbed his teeth. The sound of the motel door closed and he continued getting ready. He soon finished washing up after a few minutes before he headed back into the main room. Walking over to his bed he began to gather the blankets, neatly making it back up.

It wasn’t long before Tsume got back, “Are you ready?” he frowned, seeing the boy still in his pajama pants and t-shirt.

Toboe nodded, “Yes!” he then began to undress, changing his clothes as the man turned around. He blushed, “I booked us one more night, then we’re on our way in the morning.” He spoke a bit awkwardly, avoiding the sight of his naked friend.

“Why not today?” the boy asked, stepping into a pair of jeans.

“Well, the guy at the desk told me there’s nothing to do here… but there’s a city thirty miles or so north of here.”

“I’m done.”

Tsume turned back around, “It’s off our route… but I figured we could get breakfast, do some shopping, maybe lunch and then come back for the night?” He glanced at the boy who was just all smiles. He continued, smiling as well, “…We’ll just take it easy before heading out tomorrow. How’s that sound?”

Toboe didn’t answer but stepped over to him then, wrapping his arms around him. He hugged the man tightly, thanking him with actions instead of word. It was like that day they had lunch on the side of the road in the grass, the man just standing there in embarrassment as the boy held onto him. A minute passed before Tsume sighed, patting Toboe’s head, “Ok, runt. Time’s wastin’.”

The boy just looked up, not letting go of him as he nodded, “Mmm,” he muttered with a smile, small tears brimming in his eyes. His heart was beginning to feel full again.

…

The little restaurant was very busy, people eating while others waited for a table, some just stopping by to pick up something from their bakery. It was small, but homey, the walls painted a soft violet and trimmed in a crisp white. The floors were a bright coral red, shining brightly from a fresh wax job, no doubt.

The sound of plates and silverware clinked together as the mumbles and laughter of people filled the air. The afternoon sun gleamed through the windows, lighting up the faces of each one of them. Most sat at tables together, taking bites of food in between carrying on their conversations with each other.

A man dressed in white called to his fellow workers as he placed several orders, whether they were in person or on the phone. His assistants were packing with fresh pastries and other baked goods, getting them ready to be sent off. A few people stood in line at the bakery counter, impatiently waiting to fill their own orders as waiters and waitresses rushed trays of food to their designated tables.

The silver haired man took a gulp of his water, washing down his last bite. He leaned back in his chair, sighing with much content. He watched as his younger friend across the table continued to work on his plate. Glancing around at the other customers, he commented, “This must be a popular place… it’s only four and it’s slammed.”

The man turned back to him when the boy didn’t answer. Toboe was obviously enjoying all of the pampering he was doing for him. He was still munching on a croissant in one hand, the other hand wrapped around a fork that scuffled through his salad bowl. He made little noises of delight, moaning at the delicious taste of his meal.

He had to admit… it made him happy to see the kid happy. He smiled, “Fun day?”

The boy looked up from his food, grinning and nodding his head before he dove back in.

“You worked up an appetite, huh?”

“Huh?” the boy repeated, pausing for a moment.

The man nodded towards the bags at the side of their table. He’d spent the majority of the day just buying stuff for the kid. It was mostly clothes among other necessities. What Toboe had been wearing for the past few weeks, was the same old stuff he’d seen on him over a year ago. He was long overdue for something new.

“We took longer than I thought we would.” The man sighed, leaning back in his chair.

The boy looked down, smiling, “Thank you, Tsume… for today, for everything.” He looked up again as he spoke softly. His face was sincere and tender, causing the man to glance away from him with a frown, “Just finish up already,” he muttered.

The boy laughed a little, his plate already empty, “I’m done... Hey! …How about some gelato?”

“Gelato?”

“It’s ice cream!”

“I know what it is, Toboe.” Tsume replied, “I’m just surprised you’re still hungry.”

“I saw it on the menu before we ordered. I decided then that was what I wanted…”

The man leaned forward, resting an arm on the table. “Is that so?”

“Well, I have to finish with something sweet. There’s no way around it.” Toboe simply replied, sipping his tea.

“You’re getting spoiled.” The man smirked before looking around to see if he could grab someone to place an order. There didn’t appear to be anyone that was free at the moment. Sighing, he pushed his seat back and stood up, “I’ll order at the counter. It will take forever and we need to go.”

Toboe watched as his friend departed his side, smiling after him. He waited patiently, tracing his fingers along the tabletop. He couldn’t believe how wonderful the day had been… it was even Tsume’s idea. He did feel spoiled to be honest, but he was soaking in every minute of it. He didn’t want the fun to end.

Then he realized something; he forgot to tell him which flavor he wanted. But before he could go after him, he saw the man already returning to their table, two dishes of gelato in hand.

Tsume sat down again, passing the boy’s dessert to him before scooping a small bite of his own.

“What kind did you…” the boy smiled when he took his first bite, “How did you know?” he laughed a little before continuing with another spoonful.

The man smirked, “I had a hunch.”

“I love peaches, peach tea, peach ice cream… I don’t care, I love it.” Toboe grinned, taking another bite.

“I know.” Tsume smiled. He ate his own gelato slowly while the boy quickly finished his up. It was a little too sweet, but it was still very good. Maybe the kid was right? Finishing a meal with something sweet might become a new habit of his as well.

“So which did you get?” the boy asked him after a few minutes, an empty bowl in his hand.

“Coconut.”

Toboe watched as Tsume continued eating his dessert, little bit by bit. He leaned his arm on the table, resting a cheek in the palm of his hand. As he took in the man’s current demeanor, he thought of something, “You know… you are kind of like a coconut.”

Tsume looked up from his dish, eyeing the boy curiously. His comment reminded him of something, almost like a feeling of déjà vu. But he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“You are!” Toboe spoke again when the man didn’t reply, “If you were a fruit, that’s what you’d be.”

The man remembered then… it was a couple of weeks after the kid had left him. He’d bought a few peaches at the market that day, even though he didn’t like them. He was still so hung up on him… they reminded him of the boy, even smelled like him. It was then that he thought Toboe was like a peach, soft on the outside but strong on the inside... So here they were, a coconut and a peach?

“You’re hard on the outside, but inside you’re soft and sweet.” He watched the boy smile softly, repeating his own similar thoughts. They were both quite the opposite from each other, weren’t they? He frowned.

Toboe smirked then, quickly diving a spoon into the man’s dish of ice cream. He smiled again; he’d been wanting to do that since he finished his own bowl. Tasting the bite he’d stolen, he moaned, “Mmm…. You’re delicious too.”

“St-stop it!” Tsume stuttered as his face turned red.

The boy just laughed at his embarrassment, happy at the reaction he was getting from teasing him like this. More minutes like this passed, the two finishing their dessert without saying much more. They were just enjoying the time they were spending together, occasionally flashing smiles across the table, along with a few eye rolls, of course.

A while later the man pushed back his chair and stood up, grabbing the ticket a waiter had left for them a few minutes ago. The boy stood up also, “I’m gonna wait outside while you pay.”

“Alright. But I’m done for the day, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, me too.” Toboe picked up the bags at his feet as Tsume went to the counter to take care of the bill. The boy smiled at the thought of his new wardrobe, carrying the bags with him out the front door. He noticed the sun was getting low in the sky as he stepped out on the sidewalk.

Pausing for a moment, he stood there as people passed him each way. He looked around, breathing in the scent of the city. It wasn’t big like the one he’d grown up in, but it was a lot bigger than the small towns he’d been staying in for the past year or so.

Noticing a shop next to the busy restaurant, he curiously walked over to see what was in the window. It was a home goods store, the window displaying cooking utensils and electrical appliances. He frowned… He wish he had his own kitchen like he used to… He missed those days.

It was then that he noticed someone from the corner of his eye. Glancing to his right, he began eyeing the stranger a few feet down from him who was also viewing the window display. He had dark eyes and hair, which was a little long, tied back into a ponytail.

Toboe frowned harder. Why did he seem so familiar to him?

The man turned to him then, raising his eyebrows, “What’s up?” he asked.

The boy blushed, stepping back with one hand up. “Oh, um… nothing. I’m sorry…” He looked away again, feeling embarrassed for staring so long. He glanced to his left back towards the restaurant door, people still coming and going. Why was Tsume taking so long?

“Hey…” the man’s voice spoke again. Toboe turned to look at him once more. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” he continued, standing straight and stepping away from the window. He put a hand to his chin, rubbing it. “Hmmm…”

The boy just stood there, unsure of who he was. He was trying to remember himself.

“Haha! I remember! I knew it!” the man finally recalled everything, patting his fist into his other hand. “I bought you food when you had no money… Remember? At that diner?”

Toboe didn’t say anything at first, trying to recall that moment. Then he remembered, “Oh! Yes! Of course!” he smiled. “How funny!”

“I know…” the man smiled, “Toboe, right?”

“How did you…”

“I don’t forget so easily.”

“And tell me your name again. I’m sorry.” Toboe lowered his head a little in apology.

“Keith.”

“That’s right!” the boy nodded. He glanced down at his feet, suddenly feeling a bit awkward. What did you say to someone who acted like your friend, but you barely knew him? “So…” he looked up again, “What brings you here?”

“Nothing much, what about you? You’ve changed a lot, I can see… You still traveling alone?” the man leaned against the brick wall next to him, still smiling.

Toboe shook his head, “No, I’m here with my… my friend.”

The bell of the restaurant door chimed then, the silver haired man walking out, carrying a brown bag. He paused for a second before he saw Toboe standing one shop down and walked over to him. “Toboe, I bought a few of their danishes for breakfast. That ought to…” he trailed off in mid-sentence, seeing the other face just past the kid.

Tsume was frozen, his eyes wide as he began to recognize the familiar face standing before them. He couldn’t move. The boy turned around smiling, “Tsume! I want you to meet my friend. He helped me when I was…” he frowned, “Tsume?”

Toboe quickly glanced back to Keith, the dark haired man’s face no longer carefree but cynical as he glared past him to the taller man. The boy darted his eyes back to Tsume, confused and almost afraid. What was going on? He was about to say something to him, but caught himself as his eyes widened.

The older wolf’s face held nothing but fear.

***

Kya!!!! :> …I will try to get the next one up sooner than this. Again, sorry for the wait and I hope you enjoyed it!
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Our Beginning