Fight Me, Bite Me | By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 39446 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3 |
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure. |
A/N: Break out the tissues! T_T
I uploaded the audio ad-lib for this one since it was almost completely included in the final outcome. I love doing Happy's voice!
http://chirb.it/5wJMHm
Chapter 25
Bitterness and Tears
Later that night, Happy and Natsu sat together eating the fish Natsu had caught that morning. Happy joyously ate his grilled fish, but Natsu only stabbed his fork at the white flakes. Although Happy hummed with each bite and chatted about his attempts at wooing Carla—which failed, yet again—Natsu said nothing, brooding silently, his face slack as the events of that day swirled chaotically through his mind again and again.
Then suddenly, Happy said, "It's too bad Gray couldn't eat with us."
Natsu poked apart a flake of fish with his fork and muttered only, "Yeah…"
Happy was not so dense as to miss seeing the depression in his best friend. "Is he sick?"
Natsu's brow tensed, and his voice came out hoarsely. "He's already sick, Happy."
"No, I mean like with something else, like maybe his tummy hurt so he had to go home, or…" He really was worried about Natsu's sullen attitude. "Is he okay?" he asked softly.
Natsu could not look up at Happy, but he answered, "Yeah, he's fine." Gray was fine. Gray would get well. And Natsu was well. All the stuff they had been doing, pushing the limits of what was safe, and yet he was still well. Gray should have been relieved to hear the good news. So why … why did he…?
"Natsu?" Happy looked down at the plate. Although Natsu had torn the fish apart with his fork, none of it had gone up into his mouth. "You're not eating anything. Are you feeling sick?"
An anguished tenseness crinkled the Dragon Slayer's brow. Sick? No! He wasn't sick. He was fine. He might have bit Gray and licked the blood, but the doctor said that was safe. Gonorrhea rarely passed through the bloodstream, only if a person was really sick with it, and Gray was fine, he was almost done with treatment. What Natsu did was never a threat to begin with. So why had Gray shouted at him? Why had he pushed Natsu away? Why did he say such painful words?
Happy tipped his head down, trying to see the lowered face better. "Natsu?"
Natsu suddenly slid his chair back and rose to his feet. "I'm not hungry," he snapped. "You can eat it." He turned, stomped to his bedroom, and slammed the door behind him.
For once, Happy ignored his fish as he looked at where his best friend had fled. His little kitty mouth tugged down with worry. "Natsu…"
Natsu flopped onto his bed and threw one arm over his eyes, covering his face just as a tear slid down. Gray's words echoed endlessly through his ears.
"From now on, I don't want you around."
Gray's face when he shouted that had been so furious. Natsu knew he screwed up, he forgot about Gray being sick, but … but he hadn't caught it! He was fine! Shouldn't Gray have been relieved?
Tears kept falling, and the worst thing was that Natsu knew these sorts of tears could not be held back through willpower alone. He had lost his will standing on Gray's doorstep and hearing him shout in rage, "Just stay the hell away from me."
"Dammit," he whispered as the hot tears dripped down both eyes. He flipped over and buried his face into the pillow to muffle the shaking breaths that shuddered out. "Dammit!"
He screwed up, and Gray…
Gray was so mad, he…
The door creaked open, and Happy peeked inside. "Are you okay, Natsu?"
Natsu growled into his pillow, "Just leave me alone."
He did not want to cry in front of Happy. He felt ashamed. He thought he and Gray were truly in love, but in the end their relationship crumbled after less than two months. Maybe it was not all that important to Gray. Maybe Natsu was just another person to fuck. He sneered as he realized how foolish it was to hope that maybe—just maybe—a relationship like that could last forever. He had even told Gray that he wanted to be a marked mating couple. So stupid! As if Gray even understood what that meant!
Happy walked up to Natsu and patted his leg. "Did the lunch go bad?"
Natsu's fist clenched. The lunch! The olives! He had wanted something sexy but simple, yet it all went to hell.
"Maybe you cooked it wrong, and maybe Gray got sick, and he'll get better, and…"
"Happy, shut u-…" Natsu choked back the words. This anger was not meant for Happy. It was for himself, his own foolishness.
Happy backed off. "Sorry."
Natsu sighed, and his whole body sank a little more into the mattress. "No. I didn't mean to snap. I'm sorry."
Happy heard a snuffle, and although he did not have the nose of a Dragon Slayer, he had the nose of a cat. He smelled the saltiness of tears. "Natsu, what happened?" Another snuffle muted itself in the pillow. Happy lightly touched his best friend's head, stroking the pink hair in sympathy. "Natsu?"
Unsteadily, Natsu answered, "I think Gray broke up with me."
"You think?"
Natsu gave up trying to be strong. If there was one person to whom he could be honest about his feelings, it was Happy. If not Happy, then no one else! Through tears, he explained, "He said, 'From now on, I don't want you around.' That…" He snuffled again and hugged the pillow around his head. "That's breaking up, right?"
Happy's lower lip quivered at seeing how heartbroken Natsu was. He hugged around Natsu's head, comforting him for once. "Why? What happened?" he cried in sympathy.
Natsu sneered in anger at himself. "I screwed up."
"Did you cook bad food?"
"No!" he yelled, but Natsu slammed his mouth shut. He did not want to take this out on Happy. Happy was just trying to be a friend. "He's mad at me. Something I did."
"You can tell me."
"I don't think I can this time."
"Why?"
"I just can't."
Happy smirked and nudged him. "Is it something sexy?"
Instead of cheering him up, that anguished Natsu even more.
Happy sensed a lot through the silence, and his teasing smile fell. "Oh. Did you hurt him?"
Natsu slumped, all muscles going limp as he remembered how Gray ran off with blood dripping down his shoulder. "Yeah," he whispered guiltily.
"I told you to be careful with Gray. It's his first time with a guy and…"
"Happy!" Natsu shouted, and he yanked himself off the pillow, wiping his eyes. "For one, it's not his first time with a guy."
"Ooh!" Happy said in surprise. Who would have thought Gray… "So, this isn't about sex?"
"No! W-well…" Natsu squirmed as a flush crept from his cheeks all the way up to his ears. "Kinda."
"And you hurt him?"
"Not like that. Not that way."
"Is he okay?"
Natsu frowned in dejection. "I don't know. He kicked me out. He told me he doesn't want me at his house anymore. He said to stay away from him."
"Was he injured?"
Natsu's eyes drooped, and his lip began to quiver again. "He was … bleeding."
"Natsu!"
Natsu drew his knees up and rested his chin on them, staring ahead blankly. "I really screwed up," he whispered. "He didn't even give me a chance to take care of him." His face suddenly turned angry. "I could have healed him!" he suddenly shouted. "Even if it was dangerous to me, I don't care. I wanted to heal him, to take care of it, because … because it was my mistake." Natsu slumped back down into his knees. "He wouldn't let me. He was scared; I could see that. I could smell the fear. And … and he was so mad. He kept yelling at me, telling me to stay the hell away." Natsu snuffled again and crossed his arms over his knees to further bury his head.
Happy patted Natsu's arm. "I'm sure Gray didn't mean it."
Natsu sighed as the truth left him feeling hollow. "I think he did." He gulped, but sobs still shook his shoulders. "I lost him. I screwed up so … so he left me. He told me … he doesn't want me around … from now on." The sobs really wracked him now, and Natsu threw himself down into his pillow again, too ashamed to be crying like this over a little thing like romance. "Dammit, I don't want to cry over that damn popcicle. It was stupid. Stupid! Me and Gray. How ridiculous! You know what? I'm glad we didn't tell the guild. They just would have laughed. Me and Gray. Fucking hilarious!"
"Natsu, stop it," Happy scolded. "You love him."
"Doesn't matter anymore. It never mattered!"
"Stop it. I don't believe that. Gray really loves you. He wouldn't break up with you just because you made him bleed a little. Or … or was it really bad?"
"It … was." Natsu clenched the pillow until the fabric began to tear. "I really screwed up. I … really … really screwed up."
"Natsu." He began to reach for his head.
"Happy, don't! Just … just don't. I don't want to yell at you. It's not your fault. I'm really a mess right now. Can you leave, just for an hour or so?"
"Do you need to cry?"
"I need to settle down. Cry, maybe break a few things," he admitted. "I don't want you around. I might hurt you. Please, just … just give me an hour to settle down."
"I understand." Happy's wings formed, and he flew to the window. "Don't do anything stupid, and don't set the house on fire again, and try to eat. You need to eat, even if it's just rice and not fish." He worried for Natsu, but he knew that sometimes the Dragon Slayer simply needed some time alone. "I'll be back later."
"Sorry."
"No, it's okay. I know you really love Gray, so this is okay. Just don't do anything drastic."
"You know I'm not like that."
"You've never been in love before. Erza says love makes people do stupid things, so don't do anything stupid."
"I won't," Natsu smiled weakly, "and I'll try to eat."
Happy nodded and flew off. He soared through the evening sky and back into town. He saw the lights still shining in the Fairy Tail guild hall. He could easily spend an hour or two there, but he decided to help Natsu out. That was what friends were for, or so he told himself. So he turned his wings and flapped over to Gray's apartment. He walked up to Gray's door and gave a knock.
"What?" came an angry shout.
Happy leaned his mouth to the door. "Gray, it's me."
A few seconds later, the door opened and the Ice-Make wizard looked down in surprise. "Happy?"
"You need to go see Natsu," he insisted.
Gray's shock instantly turned to anger. "I can't! That bastard is on his own for now."
"He really needs you," Happy insisted.
Gray began to turn away, but a moment of panic hit him. Natsu was heartbroken, and Gray was unsure how badly he might take this. He looked around with a chill in his veins. "Is he okay? He hasn't done anything stupid, has he?"
"He's really sad."
Sad? Just sad? The terror turned to anger. Stupid flame-brain was sad, huh? Serves him right!
"Gray, I don't know what happened, but you need to make Natsu happy. He's really sad, and he's not eating." Happy knew not to tell him about Natsu crying. That would just humiliate the Dragon Slayer.
"I can't be around him right now," Gray insisted. His heart ached as he imagined how bad Natsu must be, for Happy to come here and beg for help. However, if he ran to Natsu now, he knew he would never be able to keep his distance. For Natsu's own safety, he had to stay away, just for a few days. Gray needed to be strong, to not give in to his own heart … just for a few days.
"But Gray…"
"I can't!" he snapped.
Happy backed up a step, but he did not give up. "Did you really tell him not to come around here anymore, and to stay away from you?"
Gray firmed up his resolve. "Yep. I don't want to see him."
"Because he did something bad?"
Gray reached up, and Happy saw the bandage on his neck with some blood already soaked through. "He really messed up. And … and so did I. We're both messed up, which is why I don't want him around me."
Happy felt a shiver as he saw for himself how stern Gray was about this. He really was breaking up with Natsu! "Gray?" He felt a little anger on behalf of his best friend. "Did you ever even love Natsu?"
Gray's eyes slammed shut at the sadness reflected in Happy's voice. What could he say, though? Had he been in love? Of course he had been. Could he confess it? Could he admit it to Happy when he could not even say the words to Natsu himself? Was he still in love?
"Yes," he whispered with a shiver at confessing that.
What if Natsu died just for admitting to that feeling? Everyone to whom Gray had ever said 'I love you' died. He had not said it directly to Natsu, but he felt it. He felt it painfully in his heart. That emotion terrified him.
"I … feel that way. That's why he shouldn't be anywhere near me."
Natsu was probably brooding at home, not eating, likely crying, and he must have kicked Happy out, either in anger or for Happy's own protection. Gray wanted to protect Natsu. This was the only way he knew. He hated that it was something that only caused Natsu pain.
"Happy." Gray looked down at the blue cat and smiled sadly. "Take care of him … because obviously I can't!" Then Gray slammed the door shut before Happy could see his tears.
Happy stood there, stunned at being shut out, but he smelled once again the saltiness of tears. Gray was trying to act tough, but this was hurting him far worse than he would let on. Happy wondered if there was anything he could do. He was only a friend. The real healing had to happened between Gray and Natsu themselves.
He scratched on the door and called in. "Gray?" With his ear against the door, he heard a snuffle. "Graaay?" he called in again, but there was no response. "Natsu still loves you," he told the ice wizard, "and I hope you still love him." That was all he could say, deliver that one message; the rest was up to Gray and Natsu. Happy turned away, sad he could not do more.
Inside, Gray stood by the window, looking out at the stars, not realizing how the moon reflected on his tear-stained cheeks.
"Of course I feel that way about him," he whispered miserably to himself, "but I can't be around him. I…" Below, he saw Happy leaving out of the apartment and flying off toward the guild. "Love. Why am I so scared to say the word love? Every other word, I can say, but … that one word, the one emotion I truly feel … I can't say it." His head rested against the glass window. "Just knowing I feel it scares the hell out of me. I can't lose him, even if … if that means … pushing him away. He'll be safe. That's all that matters. He won't die … because of me."
Gray's eyes closed as more tears fell.
"I'm sorry, Natsu. I can't lose you. Not to an illness, and not to my own cursed feelings. You fell for a fucked up man like me." He slumped down and gazed at the stars. "I'm sorry, Natsu. I'm sorry."
End of Chapter 25
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