What is this life?

What is this Life?

Chapter 26

It's been a very hectic twenty-four hours; between the party, date and sexual events. Although everyone is happy, they are also a bit tired. It's mid-morning and the four men have finally gotten out of the bedroom. Tatsuha is the most energetic of the group and decides to go down and get breakfast started.
“What’s everyone want to eat?” he inquires but with a wicked grin on his face.

Hiro notices the grin, he’s seen it before and it isn’t a do you want food to eat grin. He looks at Tatsuha and shakes his head. “BREAKFAST! I want breakfast, now will you get out of here and get us something to eat from the kitchen, please?” Laughter erupts in the room. It seems that everyone saw that face and read between the lines.

Tatsuha heads out the door waving his hand in the air. “Ok, I’m going, but don’t blame me if it’s not what you expect.”

Hiro puts his hands behind his head and stretches his neck. After the loud “pop” is heard, as well as felt, he lowers his arms. “Ah, that feels better. Sleeping in like this in the morning is hell on the body.” He turns and looks at Ryuichi who is doing a little of his own body stretching, “Right, Ryu-chan?”

Ryuichi looks at Hiro and smiles, “Sleeping? Is that what we were doing?”

Ryuichi and Hiro look at Shuichi who is scratching his head. He talks like he’s annoyed, “I didn’t get much sleep this morning, I don’t know about you guys. When I woke up you all were going at it like bunnies again. Geesh, you even kicked me off the bed.” The reminder of that has Shuichi involuntarily rubbing his bum again.

“Sorry, Shu-kun, it wasn’t done on purpose, you know that right?” Ryuichi tries to look serious but is ready to burst out laughing again. The sight of Shuichi rubbing his backside and his head at the same time is just too cute.

Shuichi sees the laughter behind those shining eyes and he can’t help but smile. “It’s ok but next time, wake me up. Ok?”

Hiro walks over and throws and arm around Shuichi’s neck and rubs a noogy on the top of his pink tresses. “Will do, but you know what that means, right?”

Shuichi looks at his best friend and gives a smirk. “Why am I always uke?”

Tatsuha reappears at the door and pushes it open, backing in with the cart trailing behind him. “Breakfast’s served! Come and get it before it gets cold.” He looks at the expressions on everyone else’s faces. “Did I miss something?”

Everyone breaks out in laughter but it’s Ryuichi who finally speaks, “No, we were just joking around a little, nothing going on. What’s to eat?” He lifts the cover off one of the plates on the cart. “Hmm, pancakes, my favorite!”

Tatsuha takes the lids off all the plates and points to them, “Get ‘em while they’re hot.”

All the plates are grabbed and the men scramble to find seats on the couch. Breakfast is eaten in relative silence, only the sounds are of utensils against china and the occasional open-mouthed chewing. When all the food is consumed, the plates are stacked on the cart and Tatsuha removes the cart to the kitchen.

Ryuichi doesn’t like to bring back the mundane, but playtime is over. Ryuichi knows that he needs to get working on his vocals again. “Guys, my manager called the other day. He wants to know when that new song I promised is going to be finished. It’s been over six months since I put out a new CD and he’s getting antsy. How’s it coming?”

Hiro looks to Shuichi and then back to Ryuichi. “It’s hard. I mean, you ask for a love song about the three of us. We want to do it justice but we don’t know if what we came up with is really good enough for the great Ryuichi Sakuma.”

“You have a song for me already? Why didn’t you say so?” He stops and the whole statement Hiro made sinks in. “Wait, what do you mean good enough for the great Ryuichi Sakuma? It’s just me, the man who loves you and who you love. I’m not so great. It’s the songs that are great, I just sing them the way they are meant to be sung!”

“You’re the greatest singer of all time, Ryu-chan! How can you sit there and tell us it’s the song that’s great? No one can sing like you!” Shuichi is all excited and a little confused by Ryuichi’s modesty.

“Shuichi, calm down please. To be honest, I got really lucky with the songs that have been written for me. I know I have a good voice, but I can’t sing unless someone gives me something I can use.” Ryuichi is genuinely not self-centered about his singing abilities. He knows he’s good, but he can’t bring himself to think of himself as great. “I just put myself into the songs and they come out. It’s the emotion that does it for me. I have to feel the song.”

Hiro nods as he understands what Ryuichi is saying but he’s not sure Shuichi gets it yet. “Shuichi wrote the lyrics and I have the music but we just can’t seem to get it to sound right. Maybe if you listen to it you’ll see what we mean.”

“If you write a song that expresses our love, I’ll be able to sing it.” Ryuichi needs some clarification, “Did you write the song for me to sing or for you? It makes a difference. If you wrote the song for yourselves, then I have to sing it the way I think you would want it. If you wrote it for me, then I can put my personal imprint on the song. I’ve always had songs written FOR me, not ABOUT me.”

“What’s the difference? You’re going to be singing the song, not us?” Shuichi clearly doesn’t understand Ryuichi’s meaning.

Hiro listens to what Ryuichi says and he finally understands. “So, if we write the song from our perspective on the relationship and not yours, then you have to become us to sing it. If we write it thinking about how you perceive the relationship, then that’s how you’ll be able to sing it.”

Ryuichi knows he got through but needs to know, “So, is it how you see the relationship or how you think I see it?”

Shuichi isn’t quite sure he fully understands the difference, but he thinks maybe he’s getting the gist. “I wrote the lyrics from how I feel about the relationship, so I guess I really wrote it for me. I suppose you’re going to need to give me some input on how to change it.”

“No! I don’t want you to change it. I just want to know who I am supposed to be when I sing it, me or you.” Ryuichi stops and it’s like a light bulb goes off in his head. “Maybe we should sing it together Shuichi. That way we get it both ways. A duet would be great!”

“Me sing with you? Are you kidding? I’m not anywhere near as talented as you so how can you suggest it?” Shuichi is stunned at the prospect of singing with Ryuichi. There’s another problem with that idea, “Besides, I can’t be seen or heard on a record. Have you forgotten about our situation here?”

Ryuichi hasn’t forgotten all about how the men all got together. Their so-called situation is a little complicated, but not insurmountable. ”Shu-kun, can you let me worry about that when the time comes. If things work out the way I plan, everything will be different. Can you trust me on that?”

Shuichi trusts Ryuichi completely, that’s never been the question. “Yes, of course. Do you have a plan?”

“Don’t worry about the specifics. Just know that I will make it good for all of us.” Ryuichi gives a reassuring smile.

Shuichi listens but doesn’t quite believe it, There have been so many upheavals in his life in the last year, how can Ryuichi promise that it will be good for everyone? He doesn’t want to upset his friend and lover but to honest, he just can’t see any plan that would include him or Hiro. “Ryu-chan, it won’t work. Seguchi-sama won’t let you do anything that includes us.”

Ryuichi frowns at his youngest lover. “Will you please just leave it to me? Seguchi-san won’t know anything until it’s too late for him to interfere.”

Hiro puts a hand on Shuichi’s shoulder and says, “Shu, you said you trust Ryu-chan. If he says he’ll make it good for all of us, he will.”

Ryuichi nods slightly and decides not to pursue the topic any further. He puts up a hand as if trying to stop something, “I think we should get to the studio and check out our song.”

The trio walks to the studio in total silence, only their feet against the pavement breaks the quiet. Even the birds seem to know that there’s tension in the air and have stopped singing. Ryuichi walks into the conference room and spots the sheet music on the table. He walks over and picks it up, noticing that there are musical notes but no lyrics with them. “Shuichi, where’s the rest of the song?”

Shuichi goes over to a guitar case sitting in a corner and opens it. He reaches in and takes out several sheets of paper, “Here.”

Ryuichi reads the words on the papers several times. He then picks up the sheet music and holds lyrics in one hand and music in the other. He looks back and forth between the two and starts tapping his foot slightly against the carpeted floor. After several minutes Ryuichi starts humming the tune that Hiro has penned. “It’s good, but I don’t like the tempo you have for this. It’s supposed to be a love song and it’s more like a dirge. We need to make a few changes Hiro.” He keeps humming but ups the beat just a little. Soon he re-reads the lyrics and then starts trying to put the words to the adjusted tempo. “I think this has promise. It’s a little raw but workable.”

Shuichi sinks into a nearby chair, his heart falling from his chest to the floor. “I don’t know what else to do. I’ve worked so hard on the lyrics and they’re no good.”

“I never said the lyrics weren’t good, I said they need a little work.” He sees the down-trodden look on Shuichi’s face. “Shu-kun, they’re written from your point of view of our relationship. It’s your song, you should sing it.”

“NO! I can’t.” Shuichi starts to cry.

Hiro rushes over to his young lover and holds him close. “What’s wrong?” Hiro is perplexed. He’s been working side by side Shuichi for weeks and until now Shuichi has been exuberant about the whole song. “Why can’t you sing it?”

Ryuichi gets a stunned and hurt look on his face and kneels down next to Shuichi’s chair. He places his hand on Shuichi’s shoulder and in a calm voice asks, “Shu-kun, is it the song or the fact that you don’t want to sing with me?”

Shuichi turns his tear filled eyes towards Ryuichi. He loves this man with all his heart and can’t stand the look that Ryuichi is giving him. With sniffles and a little cough he answers, “I…I’m scared.”

Hiro relinquishes his hold on Shuichi so that Ryuichi can get closer. Ryuichi wraps his arms around Shuichi and pulls him into a loving embrace. As he strokes Shuichi’s pink locks he whispers, “It’s okay to be scared. Everyone gets scared when they do something new and exciting for the first time.”

Shuichi pulls back slightly but not completely out of Ryuichi’s arms so he can see Ryuichi’s face. He looks deep into Ryuichi’s eyes and sees his first glimmer of possibility shining back at him. In the faintest of whispers he asks, “Will you help me?”

Ryuichi gives his best smile to Shuichi and says, “Of course” He looks to Hiro and then back to Shuichi. “I think we better get to work on this love song. It seems we need to make a duet out of it after all.”

TBC