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The Sugar Cube Fort	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > Het-Male/Female Views: 2334 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

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CHAPTER 26: TATTOOS I
Rem was surprised at how it felt to be inhabiting L's body. Human bodies were much more sensitive than shinigami bodies. It had been so very long that the awareness of the details of being human had faded. Remembering the events of her human life was one thing, but remembering the exact feelings was something else altogether. Eating for the first time in over two thousand years was an adventure in itself. Everything felt stronger, more intense than Rem remembered from the first time around. Just the physical sensation of L's clothing shifting against his body as he walked was far more than Rem thought it should be.
Additionally, shinigami bodies felt mostly dead inside, but Rem could feel L's heart beating, and various sensations in his gut, and some soreness along his upper back and neck where his poor posture was affecting him. There were so many different sensations at once, both outside and in, that it was difficult to sort it all out.
The bells were a particular annoyance. L was right; they never actually stopped. It sounded like something far away, beautiful tinkling chimes, and it wouldn't be bad at all if they would just end at some point. As Rem slowly adjusted to their presence, she gained a new respect for L. How did he manage to think so much with the bells constantly ringing?
But feeling L's emotions on top of it all was truly overwhelming. He was permeated by a deep sadness, and Rem wanted so desperately to tell him it was okay, that she was still alive and with him, but he couldn't hear her thoughts and nothing she did seemed to provoke any response in his body. Perhaps he could feel her emotions just as he felt hers? Rem forced herself to feel completely incongruous emotions, things exactly the opposite of what L was feeling. If he could feel her emotions at all, he should notice the difference; he should eventually realize that emotions other than his own were within him.
But L didn't seem to notice. Rem tried over and over. Well, if Jealous never managed to get through to Misa over the course of slightly more than seven years, then it must be a hard thing to do, but that didn't mean it was impossible. After all, L was considerably smarter than Misa. If anyone could figure it out, he would.
Rem's funeral was a few days later, and had even fewer guests attending than her wedding. The circle of people L felt even slightly close to had always been small, and it was shrinking. The coffin held her sand. L barely spoke to anyone and cried a lot. L did not feel up to it, so Mello gave the eulogy. Rem was surprised at how good it was. Mello had really grown from the impulsive teenager she'd first met. His words were measured and very eloquent, and the look on his face was extremely mature. After Mello's speech was done, L came up and hugged him. Rem wondered how strange that must look. Mello, now in his mid-thirties, was a decade younger, but L now looked like he must be the younger one.
After the funeral, L cancelled all his cases and went by himself to an isolated country home he had in the north of Scotland. All the rooms were plain and almost bare of furniture, and there were no servants. L spent a lot of time performing martial arts exercises, meditating in various yoga poses, and sitting outside, where he had a good view of some of the better Scottish mountains and, in the far distance, the twinkling of the sea, just a tiny slice of visible ocean that shot back sun-reflections from its waves. Rem continued her attempts to get his attention, but he seemed to take no notice of them.
Rem had to admit, though, it was nice to be back in a human body. Sometimes it approached sensory overload, but it was far better than being a shinigami, numb and barely feeling. Yes, L did have some pain. Rem resolved that if she managed to communicate with him she'd get him to see a chiropractor more often about his back and neck, but the majority of the new sensations were good. Rem loved it every time L bathed or showered, the relaxation of the warm water and the soothing motions of a sudsy cloth working across his entire skin bit by bit. She loved it when he took short walks outside and she could feel the cold crispness of the air each time he had an intake of breath. As a shinigami, she'd barely felt heat and cold, but now she enjoyed both sensations.
Rem was impatient for L to touch himself. She hadn't had an orgasm for over two thousand years, and now that she was capable of it once again, she could hardly wait. But, L was grieving, and Rem knew that masturbation was closely associated with her memory. That was the only thing that could possibly be holding him back, because L did get horny. Rem could feel it. It was such a heavy, tense feeling, almost uncomfortable, yet it was the kind of feeling that longed to increase itself; it was an irritation you wanted to feed. When L got erections, every little movement of clothing that brushed against his penis was maddening and immensely delicious at once. Still, L continued to ignore his lust.
Then, a week and a half after Rem's death, L woke up in the grip of a tremendous, overwhelming horniness. Rem could feel that his erection was more engorged and sensitive than ever, it was so thick and straining almost painfully against the confines of his boxers, the only clothing he was wearing. L rolled around in bed uncomfortably, seemingly waiting for it to go away.
Oh, touch it, please touch it. I need you to touch it for me. Now you can make me feel what you feel. That's what you want. That's just what you've always wanted.
L's penis felt like it was only getting harder. L shifted back and forth restlessly, gradually building up a kind of unintentional rhythm, almost beginning to hump the mattress beneath him. Finally, Rem felt him pulling off his boxers and then he kicked off the blanket as well and looked at his erection.
When his hands slipped around it, Rem wanted to groan in pleasure. It was so good. She needed that touch badly, and his fingers were working along the sides of the erection, teasing it in just the right way, soothing it and yet bringing it to greater heights of arousal at the same time. But the dry fondling was nothing compared to when L got out the lubricant. Wet friction was just so good, so extremely perfect.
Rem wanted to melt. The feeling of it was driving her crazy, and it was even more intense because of sensing his emotions at the same time as his physical sensations. They really were having a sex act in tandem this time, with touches and responses, in some ways more intimate than anything two humans could do. Well, at least from Rem's perspective. From L's perspective, it was probably a very ordinary act of wanking off.
Then, when L leaned forward and began licking his tip, it was ten times the intensity of before. Rem would have screamed if she could, her mind feeling like it was unraveling from the pleasure of the onslaught of his lips and tongue and teeth. He worked at the tip of his penis hungrily, pulling as much as he could into his mouth, swirling his tongue, moaning as he pleasured himself, and every movement was such a tender bliss for Rem. She wanted everything he did so very badly. Rem knew she would have already come by now if she'd been the main occupant of the body, but it was obvious that everything this body did was according to L, not Rem. Rem was just along for the ride, so she'd have to wait until his orgasm, because it would also be her own. But, it was a very beautiful ride. The tip of his penis was very sensitive as he licked and sucked, his fingers sliding up and down the shaft, everything working together perfectly.
Suck it, yes, suck it, just like that. Yes, teeth, tongue and lips. Harder! Ah!
When L had worked himself into a frenzy, and Rem into a much greater frenzy, he released the tip from his mouth and leaned back on the bed, stroking almost violently, hard and fast and insistent. Rem could feel L's body instantly responding to the speed and intense pressure. L's hands were so skilled. Yes, the feeling was rising to a fever pitch. Everything was tight and hot and rising, a kind of electricity and fire, tingling and tense and so incredibly good, exactly what Rem needed. She wanted to scream from the pleasure and anticipation so badly, but L was oddly silent, not indulging in his usual dirty talk.
Then everything was drawing together with an incredible trembling heaviness, and all at once L released. As he did so, he yelled, "Rem!"
The orgasm was completely overwhelming, several distinct waves of white-hot pleasure moving through L's body. Rem felt like she was drowning in it; it was turning her mind inside-out with its sheer force as L's penis twitched and unloaded, and then his body trembled, rippling with aftershocks. It was unbelievably good, it felt so right and perfect, and Rem was already looking forward to the next time, hoping that L would continue the session.
But, instead, Rem felt sadness emanating from L immediately following his pleasure. He curled up in a ball and cried for nearly an hour, then cleaned himself, drank some hot tea, and went on a walk. Rem strengthened her resolve to get through to him. L didn't deserve to go through this. If he just knew the actual situation, the two of them could be having so much fun.
Rem continued her efforts to communicate with L, enjoying those times he touched himself and feeling sorry for him most of the rest of the time. A month after Rem's death, L visited her grave for the first time. The headstone said "Rem Coil" and was already decorated with flowers. L brought nothing, but simply crouched on the ground and looked at the grave for the longest time. Rem could feel him having an introspective mood.
Finally, he cleared his throat and said, "Rem, I feel silly saying this, but I keep thinking you are still with me. I'm not as sad as I should be, and it's because I don't really believe you've left. It's a kind of denial that is common when dealing with a loss like this. I could talk about it until I sounded like a textbook. But, I feel as if it is different with me. Nobody else has experienced this. I... I particularly feel it when I look in a mirror."
L was silent for a long time and Rem's hope swelled. L was so close. He almost knew. He had that same feeling that Rem used to have when Misa was alive, the sense of Jealous's presence.
L said, "Rem, are you a ghost hovering over my shoulder? If you are here, please show me something, please do something."
Rem used all her willpower to try to move one of L's fingers, but it just wouldn't budge. Then she went through an assortment of emotions, one after the other, ones she was sure L would know weren't his own, especially in such an odd sequence. L waited, sad and frustrated. Nothing. Ten minutes later, he got up and left. Rem tried to analyze the situation. Was there anything she could do? If he couldn't feel her emotions, and she couldn't do anything to his body, and the only thing he'd ever have was a vague irrational belief that she was present, could he ever figure it out? The greatest detective in the world couldn't deduce anything without evidence, and a feeling that Rem was somehow still around wasn't evidence.
Rem kept trying, especially whenever L looked in the mirror. For five years, the only progress she made was that L began to have one-sided talks where he stood in front of a mirror and poured out his feelings, often starting out each session by saying something like, "Rem, if you were here, I would tell you..."
Three years after Rem's death, L found another lover. It happened much like L's first encounter with Rem. Light discovered L masturbating and decided to help him. L was lonely and frustrated, and Rem found she just didn't care by that point. She didn't hate Light any more. Light was different, after all. Although definite elements of the human he'd once been were present, he'd changed quite a lot.
Rem had to admit that even as a human Light wasn't evil so much as tragic. With his personality, he hadn't had much chance when presented with a temptation like the death note, and, besides, Rem had done much the same thing with her own death note. Rem knew Light hadn't meant to rape Jealous, it had been a complete accident, and he hadn't been vindictive when he wrote down L's name, he'd been more curious than anything. His present self had nothing against L, and, over the years, L had developed a similar attitude in return.
No, it was more than that. L appreciated Light and had found a friend in him. Under guidance from both Ryuk and L, Light had slowly shed the worst of his passivity and developed more emotions. He had retained his exceptional intelligence through the transition from human to shinigami, and he sometimes helped L with cases, though he did have a tendency to lose interest in the middle and let L finish up by himself. But, those times the two worked together, they did make quite a detective team, and since Rem could feel L's emotions she knew exactly what they were. When L looked at Light, he felt friendship with just a hint of rivalry. And, Rem knew L felt friendship towards almost nobody. Light was one of a precious few.
So, when Light found L indulged in a masturbation session that L was finding frustrating, and Light reached down and said, "Let me help with that," Rem felt no revulsion, only an anticipation.
At that first internal touch, Rem immediately knew why L had become addicted to shinigami sexual help so quickly. It was eye-crossing, toe-curling pleasure, it was like nothing else L had ever done. Light was touching intimate places that no human ever could. It was simply pure insanity, stimulation beyond any normal limits. L had occasionally masturbated by inserting a dildo or vibrator in his rectum to stimulate the prostate, but that was mild compared to what a shinigami could do, not just to the prostate but also to many different internal structures.
Rem wanted more, more, more. She wanted Light to fuck them furiously until they came. It was so good. Light was working his way right to the core of the human sexual response, bypassing the normal avenues of stimulation and going directly to the source. Amid the building surges of pleasure, Rem was dimly aware of the irony. They were all indulged in that ridiculous threesome Light had suggested out of pure desperation more than twenty years ago, though neither L nor Light knew there was a third party present.
But then, her thoughts were all going away, blanked out by the good feelings that were building to such impossible heights, and she felt her throat, L's throat, screaming in ecstasy and in the next moment all the lust and pressure and intensity gathered together at the base of L's penis and then shot up through the shaft and out the tip as his body, her body, shook, the back arched so far.
Yes, yes, this! I wanted this. I need it!
In the afterglow, Rem could feel L's contentment and satisfaction. He'd been very sexually frustrated, with only his own hands and mouth to satisfy himself. He needed a partner, a friend. And, Light was astonished to see what he could do to L, to observe the heights of ecstasy a human could reach. He was curious about the whole process and saw it as an extension of their friendship.
When Ryuk found out, he laughed and said, "I always knew there was something between you two."
Over the next two years, L's relationship with Light progressed. He showed Light all the ways a shinigami could pleasure a human, and Light soon learned to intensify the orgasms even more. L and Light became closer, spending more time talking than they ever had before. Rem was ecstatic. L was healing emotionally from her death, and he was now being satisfied sexually in such a wonderful way, with her along for the ride.
Then, when L was fifty years old, but looked like he was perhaps in his late twenties, Rem was surprised when he woke up one morning and she could no longer feel his right arm. The sensation there was simply gone for her, but L was acting normally. He could obviously feel that arm even though Rem couldn't. Rem tried to extend her awareness into the arm, and after a couple minutes of frustrated trying, her awareness flowed down L's arm to the end and she could feel it again. Rem tried to withdraw, and was able to do it.
Within a few hours, she had figured out how to withdraw her awareness of touch out of any part of L's body. However, other senses were separate from the sense of touch. Even if Rem withdrew her awareness out of L's head, she could still see through his eyes and hear through his ears, she just couldn't feel his head.
When Rem was sure she had pretty good control over the power she'd just discovered, she decided to see how far she could take it. She withdrew her awareness to a smaller and smaller area, shrinking to a point just above L's bellybutton. Suddenly, L itched that exact spot furiously, until Rem expanded and then he stopped.
Rem tried it again, this time with an elbow. L itched. She tried with his neck. L itched again. Rem wanted to jump and dance for joy and shout to the world that she'd discovered it, she could now communicate with L. It was only a matter of time.
Rem waited until L was in front of the mirror, having one of his talking sessions, and then she made his right nipple itch. As soon as he scratched it, she switched to his left, and then made his right nipple itch twice in a row, and then the left nipple twice. She kept increasing the number of itching events, going from two events on each nipple to three, and then four. L was definitely thinking. Rem knew the look in his eyes. When Rem got to five, L suddenly said, "Rem, if that is you, make my right elbow itch."
Rem did so immediately, and L nearly fell over, steadying himself against the wall with a hand, his breathing heavy, his dark eyes wide and round. Rem could feel love and hope and confusion surging within him all at once. L recovered his balance in the next moment and ripped off his shirt. He ran to a nearby desk, picked up a black marker, and in a few moments had covered his chest and stomach with all the letters of the alphabet, in mirror-reversed writing. It formed a perfect keyboard for Rem to itch out any message she wanted.
Standing in front of the mirror once again, he said, "Rem, talk to me."
Rem caused the itch in letter after letter, a bit wobbly as to exact targeting but L seemed to realize that and helped by touching each itch as it occurred. Rem slowly spelled out, I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U-L and saw tears begin to run down his face.
He said, "How long have you been here?"
E-V-E-R-S-I-N-C-E-M-Y-D-E-A-T-H
"Will you stay?"
Y-E-S
L said, "I will get something more permanent than these markers soon. But, for now, I want to talk. I love you, Rem. How have you been? Are you happy?"
Rem had a tremendous surge of love and relief, and then she began one of the strangest conversations of her life.
A/N (Author's Note):
I think you can probably guess what kind of tattoos L is going to get. If anyone wants to, I would LOVE to see a fan-art of that: topless L, standing in front of a mirror, every letter of the alphabet tattooed on his chest and stomach. There's something very sexy about that image.
Edited to add: icaughtkira is working on the fanart! Thanks so much!
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The Sugar Cube Fort