Life After Near Death | By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 14426 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure. |
"Never close your lips to those whom you have already opened your heart."
― Charles Dickens
Chapter 26
The Second Kiss
Natsu brought Gray home. Happy was still not back, so he quietly placed Gray on his own bed. It was still messy from that morning, but that just meant he did not have to pull the sheets back. He carefully laid Gray down and sighed in exasperation.
"You're an idiot, you know." Who did he mean: Gray for fighting until he passed out, or himself for bringing Gray here, to his house … all alone?
Natsu pulled up a chair and watched Gray's sleeping face. Part of him thought this was boring, and part of him did not want to do something more fun. He rarely got a chance to just look at Gray. He had to admit, the Ice-Make wizard was really hot. He never would have told Gray that to his face, but Natsu was frequently jealous of Gray's good looks. It was partly why he got so annoyed whenever Gray began to remove his clothes. His face alone was handsome, let alone that sculpted body.
Natsu took the edge of his scarf and wiped away some of the rainwater dripping from the drenched, black hair. Then he let the scarf go and used his hand, softly stroking back the raven strands. He looked at the scar over Gray's eyebrow and caressed it, remembering that fight on Galuna Island. He had seen Gray ready to sacrifice his own life with Iced Shell, and Natsu barely stopped him in time.
Maybe that had been the start of it all. Not love, not yet back then, but … perhaps acknowledgement. He realized then, he did not want Gray to be out of his life.
Then months as teammates, and Gray always seemed to come to Natsu's rescue. He never made a big deal about it. He would even say things like, "This is for last time," not realizing that last time he had also saved Natsu's life.
It was only fair, then, that Natsu sacrificed all he could for Gray's sake. He had a lot of karma to balance with this snowman. How many times had Gray saved his life?
Hesitantly, Natsu picked up Gray's chilly fingers and warmed them with his hands. For a moment, it reminded him of when Gray was still in the hospital. How often had he sat by the Ice-Make wizard's side like this, watching him sleep, hoping he would wake up?
"What is it like to love?" he whispered, gazing down at that sleeping face. "Only an idiot like you would ask me that. Everyone else is figuring it out: Erza, Happy, Lucy, even Loke now knows." Natsu reached one hand up and smoothed down the wet hair, using a little heat to help dry him. "You're the idiot who's blind. Stupid stripper."
The hand in Gray's hair stroked down to his cheek, feeling razor stubble and chilliness.
"I just wanna grab you and tell you sometimes," Natsu gnashed. "I wanna kiss you and scream, 'You idiot, it's not a girl I like, it's you! Why can't you see it?' But I … I'm … I'm too scared, and you didn't hear that from me," he said stubbornly.
There was a soft moan, and Gray's head moved. Natsu yanked his hand away and gulped back a cry. His heart pounded in terror. Had Gray heard all of that? Had he been awake? Natsu grabbed his chest in a stab of sharp pain from the spike of fear, but then a snore came out. Gray muttered something about sunflowers, and Natsu relaxed with a long sigh.
"Don't scare me like that, asshole," he grumbled. His pout deepened reflectively. "You really do scare me. I'm too scared to lose you as my friend. You're straight, and I'm not, and … and what if I scare you off? What if I confess and chase you away?" He held Gray's hand again and looked at the bruises on his knuckles from their fight. "That'd be even worse. I can put up with you not being in love with me, but I can't handle the idea that you might hate me. That's … that's just way worse than being alone with these feelings but still able to be close to you."
He placed a hand back on Gray's cheek, and there was a quiet sigh of happiness as Gray leaned into the heat. That sleeping face looked so cute, it made Natsu smile.
"Just promise you'll never truly hate me. You can be mad and punch me, but never hate me, Gray."
Gray grumbled in his sleep. "Nnnh … Natsuuuu…"
"Are you dreaming about me?" Natsu asked with an intrigued smile. "I hope it's a good dream. If I'm in your dreams, then I don't care that I had to drag your lazy ass here. Just sleep. Dream of me."
Gray looked relaxed in his dream, and that made Natsu's heart feel warm. He still held Gray's hand, and those cold fingers gripped a little tighter. Natsu glanced down in surprise, then back up to the face with hope, but Gray was still completely out.
Was Gray dreaming about holding his hand?
"Gray?"
The hand on the chilly cheek slid down, caressing Gray's face wistfully. One finger stroked over the pale lips. Gray's mouth parted slightly at the touch. Natsu was in a trance, staring down at that mouth, smelling the breath softly slipping out.
He remembered the one time he had kissed Gray. It was just like this: Gray had been in the hospital unconscious, struggling to live, and Natsu had leaned over and kissed him, hardly realizing why. It probably was not really love back then, but … but it was something. That secretive kiss had been the start of everything.
Now, here they were again, but Natsu had finally come to understand why his heart felt like it was in flames. He understood the warmth in his veins and the twisting in his stomach. He knew what these weird feelings were now.
He was in love!
Slowly, Natsu leaned forward. He should not be doing this. He really shouldn't! Still, the burning in his heart drove him onward. He leaned in closer until their noses were almost touching.
"Are you awake?" he asked softly, staring right at those closed eyelids. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, I'm going to kiss you if you're asleep."
He figured if Gray was even a little awake, he would shove Natsu aside, and he could laugh it off as being a joke. Instead, Gray's face was slack. He was completely unconscious.
"I figured I'd warn you," he whispered. Natsu leaned in closer. "I can't help it anymore. I've tried. I wanted to ignore it, and I really should forget it, but that's impossible. After all these months, I just can't stop it. I even tried to convince myself this was nothing more than lust, but I realize that's not it either." His lips hovered above Gray's, and his brow tensed in anguish. "I fell in love with an idiot like you."
Natsu pressed his lips down, just a gentle touch. He began to pull back, meaning to give only that much; however, a soft sigh slipped past those cold lips, and a flush spread over Gray's cheeks. Natsu could not contain himself. He bent over again and gave Gray another kiss, longer, but still gentle, scared about what might happen if Gray woke up just now.
"More."
Natsu gasped sharply and looked down. Gray's eyes were still closed, but that one word was clear.
More!
Animal instincts swelled up. Maybe it was wrong to kiss a sleeping person, but Natsu no longer cared. For months, he had been using the excuse that he could not make a move because of Juvia. Now, she was no longer dating Gray. That one noble barrier halting him from taking possession of his desire was gone, and there was nothing holding him back. He leaned over Gray again and kissed him harder.
Deftly, nervously, Natsu let his fingers ghost over the cheeks and down the bare chest. He struggled against desires to scratch Gray possessively, pinch his nipples, mark him, and make him shudder. Instead, a nervous and sweaty palm brushed gently over Gray's pectoral. He heard a somnolent groan and a shift to Gray's hips. He pulled back, glanced down, and saw the erection beginning to tent his pants.
"Horny bastard," Natsu chuckled. "Are you still dreaming about me, ice princess?"
"Yes," he answered, still soundly asleep.
"Are you?" Natsu chuckled. Maybe that was not really the case at all, but he let himself imagine. "I'm glad." He leaned over and gave Gray another kiss.
"Mmmh," Gray moaned, and his lips opened invitingly.
Natsu slid his tongue in. The taste was … like Christmas! Like everything tasty and wonderful about Christmas was all wrapped up inside Gray's mouth. Their tongues twirled. Gray moaned again, almost a whine, and it thrilled Natsu.
Those hips arched up, as if thrusting into something. Natsu reached down and just felt it a little, worried about doing too much. It was surprisingly warm down there, and Gray flexed slowly into those hot fingers. At the touch, his whole body shivered. Natsu smiled happily and kissed him again as he gingerly palmed Gray's hardness, feeling the contours inside, sensing the warmth, and smelling the growing scent of arousal.
He had never kissed anyone but Rei-chan like this before. With her, it was just weird, but finally doing this with Gray—feeling him, touching him, tasting him, hearing those gentle moans and smelling his hormones changing—his heart felt funny, and he knew it was not from illness or weakness.
Natsu pulled back to gaze down with hazy eyes, a thinning string of saliva connecting his tongue to Gray's lower lip. He rubbed the chilly cheek and smiled at the ice wizard.
"Gray," he sighed.
"Mmm … pizza."
Natsu had begun to lean in again, but he jolted back at that. "Pizza?" He had eaten some pizza for lunch, but that was hours ago.
"Wan' anudder slice o' pizzzzzzaaa." Then Gray snored.
"Che!" Natsu pulled back and wiped his mouth in frustration, anger, and disappointment. "Who the hell sleeps through a kiss like that? Idiot."
"Yer an idiot," Gray said automatically.
"Asshole."
"Ass … mmmh…"
"Jeez, don't moan about my ass." Natsu stood and glared down at Gray. However, a bit of regret twinged in him. "Sorry if that was wrong. Dammit, I'm losing control of myself, and it's all your fault." Then he walked out of the bedroom, muttering insults about how they were both stupid and stubborn.
Gray rolled over and curled up in the bed. "Want … yer ass … Natsu," he mumbled in his sleep, and Gray began to snore loudly, lost in sweet and erotic dreams.
Gray was having another one of those dreams. He had experienced a few of them now, and the sight of the winged dragon prince was no longer all that strange. This time, instead of being locked away in a stone tower, he saw that prison demolished in the background, still smoldering with the flames that had destroyed it. He was out in the open, over the placid lake, out in the verdant fields where sunflowers swayed and shined on him.
Above him, his dragon prince was as hot as ever, kissing him, palming him, his heat melting away the princess dress that still clung like hoarfrost to Gray's body. Gray resisted less this time. These kisses were fiery and desirous.
But more than that. More than heat and lust.
He had had these sorts of dreams so many times, but this time the heat went deeper, like a coal that had the fire inside its heart where no little gust of wind could blow it out. Instead, the estival breezes fanned those flames hotter, scorching his soul.
Gray moaned. This dream felt so real this time. The touches felt stronger, beyond mere delusions of the night.
"More."
Instead of pushing his fiery dragon prince away, Gray gave in to those kisses and touches. He began to crave them, need them. He sensed that if the dragon prince stopped touching him, if he left back to his kingdom far away, the tower of icy solitude would return, the lake would freeze, and these fields would once again be nothing more than snowy desolation. This idyllic world blossomed only because of the heat from the fire dragon.
They made love, passionate, wild, intense, and so mind-blowing that it seemed to all blur together in a swirling tempest. Then he was cradled in the arms of his dragon, and they romantically fed one another. Where the pizza came from, he had no clue. Dreams worked weirdly that way.
"Are you enjoying your pizza, ice princess?" the dragon prince asked.
"Yes," he smiled.
"Are you? I'm glad." Natsu placed a pepperoni on his own tongue and slid the food into Gray's mouth.
"Mmmh…" Gray moaned. The spicy meat mixed with that fiery mouth was sweeter than any wild passion.
Those narrow, sage-green eyes gazed at him. "What do you think?"
This time, Gray pounced, pinning the dragon under him and gazing down with desire. "I think … I want another slice of pizza."
He took one of the slices, slid an olive onto his tongue, and lowered down, feeding the dragon prince with his tongue. Yet the olive was gulped whole, and the kiss continued without the food. Gray climbed on top and slid against the fiery body, being the aggressor this time, giving back to his liberator a token of thanks.
"Once upon a time," spoke the half-dragon, "I said I wanted to be your first love."
"Stop talking. I can't kiss you when you talk."
"Do you remember that?"
"Shut up. You're an idiot."
"Do you?" the dragon prince shouted, looking pained that his question kept being deflected and ignored.
Gray gulped. That first dream was burned into his memory, especially here in the dreamworld where it first happened. "I remember," he said softly.
A burning yet tender hand caressed Gray's cheek as those narrow eyes gazed up at him, filled with hope. "Are you in love with me yet?"
Gray refused to answer. Maybe he did not know, or maybe he was too afraid to admit it. Instead, he leaned his body down over the heat and shivered as their groins pressed together.
"What more do you want?" the dragon prince asked with a desperate tone. "What will make you fall in love with me?"
What did he want? He wanted to be kissed, romanced, loved, yet … more than that. This creature wanted him, body and soul. Maybe Gray had no control about where his soul decided to go, but here in this dream there was one thing he could control. Who topped!
"I want your ass, Natsu."
The half-dragon under him laughed. "Is that all?"
"For all these months, you've been doing all sorts of things to me. It's my turn!"
"My stupid ice princess." That sharp-toothed grin leaned up right into Gray's face. "All you have to do is ask and I'll give it to you."
He kissed Gray on the nose, then leaned back down, still as devilish as ever with those scales on his skin and those horns on his head, an incubus out to give Gray any and all pleasures of the night. He crooked his finger invitingly and spread his legs.
Gray leaned over that body and let the unquenchable flame in his heart blaze once more.
"Natsu!"
The Dragon Slayer hurried out of the kitchen and over to the bedroom, worried if maybe Gray was hurt due to their fight. Instead, he found the ice wizard twisting on his bed, his cheeks flushed, and an intense smell filling the room.
"Nnngh! Natsu!"
The Dragon Slayer froze and stared, unable to believe it. Was this still the same dream? Was Gray really … dreaming about … him?
"Ugh! Unnnh…"
Natsu slowly began to walk in. The smell called to him. Those moans were a siren's song. Each nervous step brought him closer to his desire.
"N-Natsu! So good."
The man he loved—yes, this had to be love—was moaning his name. He found himself standing over his bed, staring down at the flushed face, inhaling that strong, musky scent that seemed to come up like steam, whiff upon whiff of sensual hormones, until Natsu felt like he was swimming in Gray's scent.
"Gray," he whispered hoarsely. He wanted to wake him, lean over and make those dreams come true, or just ravage him, right here in his bed. Natsu shivered as that smell poured into him, forcing his body to react in the same way, tingling his groin and making his temperature rise. This was too much! Just too much! He was not a patient man when presented with temptation like this. His hand began to reach out, wanting to touch, stroke, caress, claim, hoard, fuck!
Gray suddenly rolled over onto his stomach, and Natsu's hand yanked back, fearing the lust in him. However, then Gray began to hump into the mattress, rolling his hips and fisting up the sheets. The moans were muted slightly by the pillow.
"Nngh … Na- … want … prince."
"Prince?" Natsu asked, trying to listen in. He wished Gray would turn his face out of the pillow.
"Can't … I … no."
Natsu pulled back. Can't? No? Was this really a good dream, or was Gray dreaming about being forced?
"N-no … No! She … ugh … in love … Ju-…"
"She?" Natsu whispered. "Love? Ju-…"
Juvia! That was the only explanation. She must definitely be on his mind since they broke up only a couple of hours ago. Obviously, Gray must still have feelings for Juvia.
Natsu stood straight up and covered his mouth, only to feel wetness on his lips. The taste of wintry Christmas was still on his tongue, and it made his stomach twist. He had been kissing Gray, touching him, groping him, all without permission.
Sexual harassment! Non-consensual fondling!
'Oh God, I'm horrible!'
Natsu clenched his teeth with inner rage as he felt like vomiting with the realization of what he had done. What a selfish idiot, thinking he could do all of that to Gray just because he broke up two hours ago! Kissing him! Touching him! And asleep, no less!
What if that had triggered the sexual dream, some nightmare where Gray cried out 'No, don't'? Those kisses had not been consensual, after all. It was wrong to kiss him and touch him without permission. Just the thought that maybe he had given Gray a nightmare tore at Natsu's heart.
"I want … stop … ugh … stop!"
Stop? Stop! He wanted it to stop. The dream, or nightmare, or whatever it was.
This had to stop!
The smell was so strong, Natsu knew what the result would be, and he knew Gray would be humiliated if that happened in the bed of his teammate. He pulled away, stormed out of the bedroom, and stomped back to the kitchen.
He had sexually molested Gray in his sleep.
He had touched Gray without permission.
He had given Gray nightmares.
Gray didn't want him!
In a burst of anger and frustration, Natsu slammed his fist against a rack of cast-iron pots, sending them all crashing to the floor.
"FUCK!"
Gray bolted straight up in bed at the shout and the sound of rolling metal pots. "Whuh? Who?"
He looked around. Where was he? He had been by the river, and now…
He saw a framed picture of Natsu and Lisanna with baby Happy.
"Natsu?" He wiped some drool off of his mouth.
"Sorry, dropped something," came a shout from the kitchen.
Gray began to sit up, but he felt just how erect he was. "Oh shit," he whispered, but he shut his mouth quickly. Natsu would hear him. The dream was fresh in his mind.
"Natsu! I want you, my prince. I can't stop thinking about you."
"What about Juvia?"
"No!"
"You prefer girls."
"N-no! Well, maybe I do prefer them, but … sheesh, I don't know!"
"You wanted to fuck her, too, right?"
"No! She…"
"Don't lie."
"Ugh! I … I was never in love with Juvia. She was fun and sweet, but she's not you! I want you. God, I can't stop wanting you, Natsu. Even when I try, I can't stop!"
"Then tell me, Gray. Show me. Make love to me. Take me!"
The dream had been so passionate, so wild and so … so…
This time, he had wanted it. This time, he had been the one sliding into Natsu's body, thrusting into that warmth, taking what he wanted. It was not forced like all of his other dragon-prince dreams. He had wanted it. Now, his cock burned on the cusp of release.
"Hey, uh … can I use your bathroom?"
"Of course. If you stink it up, there's some air spray."
That was good to know, because Gray knew what he really needed to do would smell, but not in the way Natsu guessed. He limped to the bathroom, found some lotion in the medicine cabinet, stripped from his clothes, and got to work rubbing out the painful erection.
Natsu stayed in the kitchen. He could have easily slipped over to the bathroom door and listened to the noises inside. Even if Gray could keep quiet, Natsu knew he would have heard something from within. It was tempting to spy, but he felt miserable now.
Was Gray dreaming about him? About Juvia? Had it been a nightmare? There was no way to ask!
Slowly, he began to pick up the scattered pots and put them back away.
He would wait, he decided. He would give Gray time. Two weeks! After that, come what may, he had to tell him. Maybe it would destroy their friendship, but keeping this a secret was eating him up inside. It wasn't fair to Gray. If they were true friends, then there should be no secrets between them, even one this explosive. Even if he got rejected, at least the secret would not eat at him anymore, and he would not feel guilt around Gray.
His mind was set. In two weeks, and hopefully before Gray hooked up with any other girls, he would confess to him. Natsu had no clue yet what he could say, but he would blurt it out if he had to.
This was not confusion, and not merely lust. Definitely, he was in love with Gray!
Next Chapter: "Brawls and Kisses"
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