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My Sun, My Supernova	By : ditchgospel Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > General Views: 3283 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 27
- 28
- 29
My Sun, My Supernova

Chapter 28

... and I Will Fly

Somewhere, in an obscure corner of town, darkness conceals them.

Under cover of is sheltering embrace, need consumes them.

Goku has surrendered himself to Sanzo, and in turn Sanzo has, for the time
being, sacrificed solitude, relinquished loneliness, banished doubt. Yet there
is nothing tender about this moment. This is not a gentle expression of sweet
love, but something much more desperate, as Goku lets Sanzo press him into the
wall and demonstrate to him in a purely physical way that their relationship is
one of mutual possession. So the desire to punish and to hurt has been
converted, with a revolutionary kiss, into just desire, and a need to
relieve tension through touch.

Afterwards, Sanzo just clings to Goku's deceptively slight figure, so out of
breath he can barely breathe. Goku finally sinks to the ground, bringing Sanzo
down with him, and as the sweat and heat of their passion cool, Goku is
reawakened to a different kind of need. This is the need to move on, to continue
their retreat and get away, to leave the threat of his own actions far behind in
the dust of escape.

But Sanzo clearly will not be walking anywhere at the moment. Settled side by
side, their backs resting against the rough surface of the wall in whose dusty
shadows they hide, Goku watches his Sanzo, his more than friend, more than
lover, his - dare he think so boldly - soul mate in agitated concern.
Each beat of Sanzo's heart seems to come at a cost, nearly every breath
accompanied by a sharp gasp of pain. Finally, Goku decides to test the limits of
acceptable touch. His loose, merely steadying hold on the man at his side tightens, as
he wraps his arm around him and pulls him in close to the security and comfort
offered by his own body. Sanzo languidly opens eyes glazed with both lassitude
and pain, but does not reject the maneuver. Goku stares deep into those
saturnine eyes, seeking answers to his unspoken concerns. Will Sanzo again turn
him away, choosing to ignore and dismiss all that they have shared? His other
question is one that frightens him even more, for it concerns Sanzo's presently
worrisome physical condition.

Goku sighs, and settles in to wait, for he dares not ask, and there is
nothing else that he can do.

XXX

Hakkai and Gojyo's search finally brings them all unknowingly onto the very
street off of which Sanzo and Goku have hidden themselves away. Frustration nips
at them irritably with its sharp little teeth, threatening to rip them to shreds
if they don't find their missing friends, and soon, before it's too
late.

Passing by the alley, Gojyo glances into its sun-starved depths, and stops
dead in his tracks, hardly daring to believe his eyes. Hakkai, noticing his
friend's sudden reaction, stops alongside him to likewise peer into the dingy
shadows, and sighs in relief at the most welcome sight.

For there, at last, are Sanzo and Goku, fast asleep in each other's arms.

Gojyo and Hakkai share a glance, as mutual relief melts into a new cause for
concern. The question now is how to approach without provoking Goku into
violence. However, there proves to be no time to ponder this, for, with a start
and Sanzo's name upon his lips, Goku suddenly awakens. Gojyo and Hakkai watch as
he turns to Sanzo and tries to shake him awake, but the lack of response is
worrisome to all three of Sanzo's demonic companions.

Gojyo clears his throat loudly, and Goku snaps his head around, staring like
a wild animal caught in a trap.

XXX

Those golden eyes close tight in a desperate, silent plea. If only Hakkai and
Gojyo would just go away. If only they would disappear and leave him and
Sanzo in peace. His eyes still squeezed shut, Goku secures his hold on Sanzo,
curling up tightly into the embrace, and voices this plea aloud.

"Gojyo, Hakkai. Please. Just leave us alone. I don't wanna hurt you guys."

Hakkai's steady gaze penetrates the shadows along with his answer.

"Goku, you know we can't do that. Sanzo isn't well. He needs our help."

Dark anger and possessiveness flares up in Goku against his bidding.

"He doesn't need you! Only me!"

Gojyo sighs in exasperation, and, throwing caution to the wind, speaks before
he thinks.

"Stop being such a selfish little brat, you stupid monkey."

The accusation takes Goku by surprise, stilling his anger. Huge, troubled
orbs reveal themselves to the world again, as he opens his eyes at last. He
studies the face next to his as he considers Gojyo's words, whispering into
Sanzo's ear as he does so.

"Selfish? But I'm thinking only of you, so how can that be selfish? Sanzo...
please wake up, I don't know what to do. Sanzo..."

Sanzo cracks open his eyes, revealing twin slivers the colour of a stormy
sky, and just as cloudy. Weariness, confusion, and the struggle to hold onto a
precarious thread of lucidity have stolen the brilliance from those eyes, and
left them dark and dull.

When Sanzo speaks, his voice is dry and hollow, so very hollow that it seems
to reach right down to the bottomless depths of his ravaged soul, and pull to
the surface all the things that have been kept there, locked away in the deepest
dark.

"Goku...Don't be afraid, little monkey. You won't hurt them again. I won't
let you. The four of us... Don't you see? We are one. If you hurt them, you
hurt me. You'll hurt Konzen, you'll hurt yourself. Look, Goku. Look beyond the
light, and see the truth. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would, and at
the same time, it hurts so much more."

Sanzo closes his eyes again, letting his head drop onto Goku's shoulder, and
fear suddenly rips through Goku pell-mell, momentarily blinding his awareness
with a wall of blind terror. He shakes Sanzo again, almost roughly.

"Sanzo, stop it! Stop talkin' crap! Just tell me what to do, okay? I need you
to...I just need you!"

After a moment of terrifying silence, filled with nothing but the unhealthy,
irregular rhythm of Sanzo's heart, Sanzo sighs deeply.

"I'm so tired of arguing with you, monkey. Let me up."

Sanzo takes a few steadying, preparatory breaths, and then, not without
difficulty, uses Goku as a support as he pulls himself to his feet. Goku rises to
stand up with him, but when Sanzo takes a step in Hakkai and Gojyo's direction,
hesitates at his side. Sanzo gives him a reproachful sideways glance, but Goku
just shakes his head and refuses to move, standing wide-eyed almost as if
stupefied with fear. Sanzo regards him cooly for a moment, gritting his teeth
stubbornly against the pain within. Finally, something seems to give as his
expression softens almost imperceptably, and he tersely whispers a reluctant
admission for Goku's ears only.

"I need you."

Goku blinks in surprise at the unexpected confession, and as Sanzo moves to
take another step forward, this time Goku does follow. Hakkai and Gojyo wait,
watching with apprehension and concern as the other two slowly make their
approach.

Sanzo is determined, and Goku is terrified of the possible consequences, of
what he might do to his friends when they finally reach them. As a result, each
step forward is absolutely agonizing, so much so that he feels petrified and
almost unable to move at all. It is only Sanzo's strength of will and the
comfort of having him close that draws Goku onward. That, and of course the
tremendous reassurance of having heard those three words spoken aloud. Still,
Goku's eyes flicker wildly, as thoughts of escape dance continually through his
mind.

It's as if they are moving in slow motion, and the rest of the world stands
still around them. So focused are the four on this drama taking place between
them, that the appearance of a familiar figure from the sky strikes through this
illusion of timelessness like thunder and lightning combined.

Kougaiji has arrived, and he is not alone.

XXX

Only Gojyo and Hakkai are in a position to watch as the two pure white flying
dragons come to ground smoothly in the street, allowing the demon prince and his
unknown companion to dismount.

The red lord regards the two for a brief moment, the usual haughty disdain
gracing delicately demonic features. His lip curls in distaste even as his eyes
narrow in suspicion.

"I have business with Sanzo."

Gojyo quips in reply.

"Did you make an appointment? I don't see your name on the list."

Hakkai, ever pleasant, clarifies the response.

"What Gojyo means to say is that we don't have the time or patience to attend
to your business today. Besides, Sanzo's scripture is not up for
negotiation."

Something flickers briefly behind Kougaiji's eyes, but he keeps his response
level.

"I'm not here for the scripture. I've brought a cure."

XXX

A cure.

Goku truly does not know what to think. He should be happy, and he is. The
very idea is too much to hope for. But at the same time, he is doubtful, even
afraid. If Sanzo regains his sanity, will he push Goku away? Will he look back
on their time together now as nothing more than a mistake born only of
lunacy?

To add to Goku's anxiety is Sanzo's own response to the news. Far from
demonstrating relief or hope, he just stands perfectly still, his fingers
digging into Goku's arm. Worse is the absolutely horrified look in his eyes.

Goku listens as Hakkai questions their adversary, and to Kougaiji's
short-tempered response.

"How can we trust your intentions?"

"I don't give a damn whether you trust me or not. I'm simply here to clean up
someone else's mess. Here's the cure. Take it or leave it, it's up to you."

Unseen by Goku, Kougaiji indicates the demon accompanying him, and, without a
backwards look or another word, departs the scene, leaving the so-called cure
standing in the street.

Now Goku is the one to step forward, as curiosity tempts him closer, and the
roles are reversed, leaving Sanzo as the one to dig in his heels. But in this
new arrangement, Sanzo's strength is no match for Goku's insistence. Goku does
not venture close enough to emerge from the alleyway, however, as conflicting
emotions and hesitation hold him back. He pulls Sanzo protectively closer,
dreadfully fascinated by the exchange on the street. His nose twitches as he
tests the scent of the stranger. He watches Hakkai's face closely as he
questions the 'cure'.

"How do you propose to deliver this cure?"

The new demon's voice is wispy and light, yet resonates with a hidden
strength, like the gossamer thread of a spider's web.

"Psychically. I will seek out and destroy the sickness in your companion, the
Sanzo priest. At Lord Kougaiji's command, I will heal his tormented soul."

Goku feels Sanzo shiver and shrink against him, as if in retreat. Into Goku's
hair, Sanzo whispers a plea touched with an urgent insistency.

"No. Goku... don't let it..."

Goku is tortured by confusion.

"But... don't you want to get better?"

"It's too late. Too late."

Sanzo can barely breathe the words, and Goku knows he's hurting again, but
this time, the pain is physical, stabbing at Sanzo internally with every
pulse.

If only he could erase Sanzo's pain once and for all.

Gojyo and Hakkai turn to Goku, and he listens to their request. It seems
reasonable enough, and it is made on Sanzo's behalf.

They want him to allow the cure to be administered.

XXX

Numbly, Goku finds himself agreeing, with a single, simple nod of the head.
Sanzo stares at him in horrified disbelief, as if he has just been betrayed in
the worstway possible.

In earnest now, he begins to struggle, fighting against Goku's hold.
Cautiously, Goku moves with him out into the street, into the fading light of
day. As the shadows of the alleyway are left behind and the demon brought into
view, Sanzo nearly screams. Goku's attempts to calm him prove worthless and
ineffective.

"Sanzo, it's okay. You'll see. You won't have to hurt anymore."

The more he struggles, the more it hurts, but Sanzo ignores the pain. Its
cause, he knows, is due to a different kind of struggle, one between him and
Konzen, and one he is not ready to give up just yet.

The demon places her hands on Sanzo's head, and Sanzo becomes absolutely
desperate.

"No, stop! It's too late. You can't... can't help me. The sickness, it
died. It died with Genjo Sanzo. All that's left are me and him.
Goku, don't let them, don't let them!"

Too late.

Contact has already been made. True to Sanzo's word, death has already cured
him of his affliction. His mind and his soul remain damaged, damaged beyond
repair, and the only healthy thing he has left inside is a twin soul, Konzen.
That is also the only abnormal presence the cure is able to find, as it scours
Sanzo's scarred soul, and it latches onto the unfortunate god, attempting to
eradicate and destroy.

Blood begins to trickle from Sanzo's nose in a steady stream, as he lets
loose a scream of agony at the torturous assault.

Suddenly the demon breaks contact, shaking her head in consternation.

"I don't understand. I can't find it."

Hakkai and Gojyo's eyes are hard on her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it isn't working. There's nothing to cure."

All eyes shift back to Sanzo as he screams again, convulsing in Goku's arms
as blood continues to stream down his face in an increasing flow. Sanzo manages
to seek out and seize one pair of eyes imploringly with his own, and as those
golden eyes stare back at him, he forces safe passage for one word through the
screams that he cannot control.

"Stop..."

Goku blinks, and responds.

Gently, he lays Sanzo down, and then, all gentleness is abandoned, as he
attacks the demon in a brutal show of violence.

XXX

Hakkai and Gojyo can do nothing as they watch the scene unfold. They dare do
nothing. Blood spurts onto the street as Goku literally tears the demon apart
with his bare hands. Into this attack is put all of his pain, anger, fear, all
of his confusion and desperation, and even, all of his love. It is as if Goku is
using this demon's very blood and guts as the medium with which to depict all
that he and Sanzo have recently gone through, painting it across the empty
street in a gruesome, macabre display of horrific art.

Sanzo is only vaguely aware of Goku's actions, even though he is not spared
from the red spray that emits from the scene. Something else has caught his eye
instead. Something beautiful and clean that speaks of freedom and escape.
Coughing and choking on his own blood, he begins to crawl deliriously towards
this newfound object of hope, which happens to be the now dead demon's flying
dragon, still waiting patiently in the street.

As he draws near the animal, he grasps the harness, and collapses against the
winged form.

Goku stands panting in the middle of the carnage that once was a woman, his
eyes distant and unfocused as his fingers flex spasmodically, blood dripping
from his arms and soaking his clothes.

Hakkai looks beyond him, to Sanzo, and, in alarm, calls his name. Gojyo
curses as he too notices Sanzo's current position. The sound of Sanzo's name
snaps Goku out of his daze of bloodlust, and he turns to look as well. The
realization of what he sees almost makes him want to cry, or laugh, or maybe
both.

Through the relief of knowing what is about to happen, Goku is finally able
to see Gojyo and Hakkai again as the friends he once knew.

"Hakkai. Gojyo. I'm sorry. And thanks for everything. You guys are the best.
But I'll take care of Sanzo from now on. It's the only way."

"Goku..."

"You're not gonna..."

"Goodbye."

Goku turns, and in an instant he is at Sanzo's side, hauling him up with him
onto the back of the dragon. All to soon, they have left the street, along with
the corpse and their friends, far below. All too soon, Hakkai and Gojyo's shouts
and calls are no longer even a whisper on the breeze.

XXX

Freedom.

That's what this is. High in the sky, among the clouds, flying
west.

Goku holds Sanzo safely in his arms until the physical symptoms finally subside. When Sanzo is able to sit up a little on his own, he gazes in wonder at the vast, empty sky
surrounding them on all sides, as the clean wind washes over them both. In Goku's arms, his body seems to tremble, and Goku
is worried, until he realizes; Sanzo is soundlessly laughing. Goku presses his face into billowing golden hair, his joy huge enough to embrace the entire world, except that the only world he needs is right here, right now, with Sanzo.

They are flying, and the fact that they are covered in blood does not matter,
the fact that they are both sick in the head is of no concern. Pain has been
forgotten as well. All the various troubles and trials of their life have been
left far below and are likewise forgotten.

They have found a compromise. They will travel west together after all, as
Goku had wished, leaving Sanzo at his side and Hakkai and Gojyo safe behind, but
they will not travel on foot, nor against Sanzo's will.

Sanzo throws back his head in abandon, raising his arms high above his head.
He smiles, childlike, as thoughts of orange paper airplanes and blue skies come
to vivid life in his mind. Goku smiles too, tears of happiness escaping his eyes
and flowing back into the wind, to fall like raindrops onto the land far
below.
- 27
- 28
- 29
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My Sun, My Supernova