Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Fever Dreams	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > Yaoi-Male/Male > L/Light Views: 2733 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 27
- 28
- 29
CHAPTER 28
L pulling a gun, trying that insane stunt, it had been surprising but not really unexpected. It had been all too obvious that L had been planning something big for the last day. Guessing what L was thinking at any given time was becoming easier, at least with certain things.
Whenever L wanted to hide something, his facial expression was particularly blank and unsuspicious. On the last day L had looked so blank that Light had experienced an eerie feeling, almost as if L had been replaced with some kind of robotic, humanoid doll.
That much had tipped Light off, and after mentally going through every possible scenario L might have planned, being threatened with death was seemingly the most likely of them.
The only thing that surprised Light was that it ended up being L pulling a gun on him, instead of some other sort of carefully crafted life-threatening situation. Light had swallowed his panic, ignored his racing heart, and simply confronted L with calmness, to force L to back down by looking him in the eyes and letting him realize that he had feelings, that he had human emotions, and that he wasn't actually crazy enough to shoot his lover.
Light knew he was right, and so he wasn't truly scared as the gun was pressed to his chest, he just had a jolt of adrenaline to his system, and afterwards a kind of glowing pride at how he'd backed L into a corner where L didn't have a choice. Light had been a helpless, bound prisoner, and yet he'd defeated L with nothing except words and a facial expression. It was a nice little victory to gloat about.
Then, hours later, the confusion had slammed into him right after the moment of memory loss, and it had been devastating in every way that the gun incident hadn't been. Light was shaken to his core, his mind racing, absolutely furious at Kira for doing such a thing to him.
The loss of control was simply unacceptable, and then there was L, being annoying, trying to start up questioning right away. Goddamn L with his devotion to the case outweighing everything else, even outweighing comforting his lover, which any normal person would do first in a situation like this, but L was weird and too business-like in his actions to do things that way.
On any usual day Light admired it, L's devotion to the cause of justice. L was perfectly built to go after criminals, to clean up what the police couldn't solve. The way L's mind operated was a marvel to watch, and L would stay up late night after night, combing through the most boring files ever for the one clue that really mattered, which he had an uncanny knack for zeroing in on.
L was cleaning up a rotten world. In terms of the world in general it was a slow process, but it was also a remarkable amount of work for one person. If only there were a hundred detectives just like him, or better yet a thousand, the world would be much closer to perfection.
But this wasn't a normal day or a normal case. Light wanted to strangle L and to be tenderly comforted by L at the same time. The detective was absolutely infuriating and attractive all at once. Light had a strong desire to be held but he wasn't going to ask for it. He wanted to keep his composure, not to fall apart. The evidence, it was all so awful, so incriminating, so much of it pointing at himself.
Even if he had been trying to make himself suspicious, did it really need to be so bad? Sure, it was subtle rather than blatant until the end, but evidence that was too obvious would have revealed Light as a decoy. In that case L would have only wasted a brief amount of time and very few resources on a decoy Kira, with little advantage for the true Kira. It made sense, it fit in with the best way for Kira to waste L's time and divert his suspicions.
Light had delayed the start of L's questioning session as he thought furiously of what to say, going over and over everything he could remember and noting the gaping holes around certain subjects and incidents. Why hadn't it been more obvious the first time around? The same holes were back; he remembered thinking about many of these very gaps the first time he'd lost his memories, except that previous time he hadn't known he'd lost anything.
And now that more time had passed, there were new gaps to worry about. Not knowing what had truly happened was almost too much to bear. A Kira who could kill, and who could control people's actions and minds, and on top of that strike out pieces of their memories, it was terrifying beyond belief. How had L stayed so calm through it all?
But Light kept bringing his jittery mind back to the most important aspects, and it all came down to the same conclusion in the end, no matter which assumptions he made.
Light knew he couldn't be Kira. A decoy and a victim and an ally only by force, yes, but not the real original Kira. And yet Light couldn't shake the thought that he'd been ill-prepared for his memory loss the first time around, and that this second time he needed to consider all possibilities and think them through correctly. Even possibilities that he didn't want to consider.
If he wasn't Kira, then there was nothing to lose by telling L everything honestly, without holding back. Either there was nothing left in his memories that Kira would kill him for, or Kira was no longer capable of killing, or Kira was already going to kill him no matter what he said.
And if by some odd, one-in-a-million chance he were actually Kira, then he would have planned for this situation, he would have predicted his memory-less version's thoughts, and he would have known that the present version of himself would conclude there was no reason to hide anything from L. And, if that were so, then the former version of himself would have thought of some way of stopping any damaging confession. Since nothing was stopping him, there must be nothing in his remaining memories that mattered.
Either way, it made sense to tell L everything he'd hidden before, including meeting with Naomi Misora randomly in the police station, and that odd hijacking incident with Raye Penber. It couldn't hurt at all, no matter which assumptions Light made.
Light talked and talked and talked in response to L's questions. It felt like he was spilling his guts for L to see. It was a little bit of a relief to admit everything, but mostly it was terrifying. Light found himself feeling numb as the hours stretched on, emotionally exhausted, responding to L's soft, even monotone almost automatically as the idea of sleep became ever more attractive.
When Light glanced at the clock and saw it was 4 a.m., he decided he'd had enough of L's nonsense and went to bed, gradually drifting off to sleep under the gaze of an L who was sitting in a chair next to the bed, watching Light with an almost feverish intensity and constantly nibbling at his thumb. Light didn't expect L to sleep at all. He never slept when important events were unfolding rapidly.
Light's sleep was restless, shallow. His mind rebelled against all the bits and pieces that simply didn't fit together at all. Thus it was very easy for something unknown to impinge on his consciousness, to drag him out of his sleep into an uneasy half-awareness. He opened his eyes just barely, seeing L pulling out a cellphone.
Light shut his eyes immediately and kept them closed, ears straining for the sound of Watari's voice on L's cellphone. It was barely audible, barely recognizable as Watari, but L was close by and Light did think he understood a few of Watari's words during the conversation.
Among them was "Yotsuba" and that single word set off a swarm of speculations in Light's brain.
As soon as it sounded like the conversation had ended Light barely opened his eyes and through the slits saw L trying to sneak away, right after he'd said, "Send a team to secure Light. I need to know he isn't doing anything while I investigate."
Yes, that's exactly what L would do. Send in some employees to watch me and effectively imprison me while he goes to check out this lead by himself, regardless of my feelings or the danger to himself. And then, if it turns out to be something I vitally need to know, he'll probably conceal it from me for months while he runs tests. That isn't going to happen.
Light feigned more sleepiness than he actually had, as he said, "What do you need to investigate?"
L froze, looking guilty. From the expression on his face he must still be feeling terrible about his incredibly stupid plan. In the next moment L's face and eyes became completely blank.
In this condition, he won't be able to resist giving in to what I ask. Right now he's spineless and malleable.
In a voice just pitiful enough to appeal to L's sympathy, but not pitiful enough to come across as obviously fake, Light said, "L, don't go without me. If this is important I need to be informed."
L replied, "It's just a minor incident. You need your sleep."
"You wouldn't leave me alone right now unless it was extremely important. In fact, since we are no longer working on anything except the Kira case I am sure it must be something to do with it. Am I wrong, or did Watari just say 'Yotsuba' on the phone?"
L muttered, "You have disturbingly excellent hearing for someone who was supposed to be asleep."
But then L was giving in, talking on the phone to Watari again and arranging a trip to Osaka. It was an hour by plane, and with the airport nearby it should only take slightly longer than that to actually arrive.
L was running out of the room then, Light barely able to keep up as they exited their suite and then the hotel and then got into the back of a limo, with a soundproof barrier to seal off the driver.
During the short drive to the airport L talked to Watari, updating Light every so often with summaries, as Light could only catch the occasional word from what Watari was saying and L was unwilling to simply put the conversation on speakerphone.
Light idly wondered if he were being fed any lies as part of a test to see whether he knew anything about this new development.
Well, if L were telling the truth, then there had been some sort of bomb threat mailed in to the Yotsuba headquarters in Osaka. It had been ignored at first but later caused an evacuation of most of the employees, after a large truck drove directly through a wall into the main lobby. A number of employees were still trapped on the top few floors of the skyscraper.
The truck was apparently driverless and it did not explode as was feared. However, after the police's bomb squad had determined the truck was harmless, there was an explosion and a fire on one of the evacuated lower floors from an unknown cause. There was no power in the building, the elevators were non-functional, all the stairwells were choked with smoke and two of them had collapsed. Those people on the upper floors who had failed to evacuate earlier could not descend. Rescue helicopters had removed some employees from the roof but it was a slow process. Police had completely surrounded the skyscraper on all sides, creating a secure perimeter.
Nobody had successfully investigated the explosion so far. Those who had tried had all met with collapsing hallways, new fires that started suddenly for no reason, and other strange experiences. Presently, all attempts to investigate had ceased and the police were merely holding the perimeter and rescuing victims from the roof.
As soon as L and Light reached the airport there was a quick transfer from the limo to a waiting private jet, with the pilot also sealed away behind a sound-proof barrier, and there L finally opened a real audio connection to Watari.
L also set up a series of video feeds to a bank of monitors. It showed the Osaka Yotsuba headquarters from multiple vantage points, all from cameras that the police or L's employees had set up, and one monitor started playing a video showing an ongoing interview with a random Yotsuba employee who had tried to get closer to the source of the explosion.
L opened a laptop and placed it on Light's lap. It was already playing the beginning of a video that was showing Light's confession at headquarters.
L said, "After this one several other videos will play. All of them relate to your situation."
So, L is keeping his word about filling me in on everything I forgot but that he knows. I remember saying that I had been manipulated by Kira, just not in this much detail, or the reason why I did so. Is this like the confession I made before being locked up the first time, when I told Dad and the others that I thought I might be Kira?
Light had a sick feeling in his stomach as he watched himself on the video, talking to an invisible presence called "Rem" and confessing to being a pawn of Kira. The thought of a criminal such as Kira controlling his actions, through blackmail or memory manipulation or some other means, it was completely vile. And then, through it all, there was the uneasy thought burning in Light's brain, the knowledge that if it had been anyone other than himself on that video he would strongly suspect that person of actually being Kira and lying about being a victim.
No, that is what Kira wants me to think. Kira wants me to doubt myself. Kira is evil and a murderer. I'm not evil, so I can't be Kira. I'm making this too complicated in my mind when it is actually very simple to figure out. Just because I think most of the people killed by the first Kira deserved to die, that doesn't mean I murdered them. I'm sure plenty of other people thought the same thing, good people who don't have murder in their hearts, and I am just as innocent as they are. Everyone wishes that some people would just die. Wishing is not a crime.
Light's glance flickered to L.
L can't keep his eyes off me. He just keeps watching. It's creepy.
L was seated in precisely the right position to observe all the screens and Light's face at once. L was obviously studying, analyzing. Light wanted to be out of that intense scrutiny long enough to get his thoughts collected, but he also wanted to endure through it all under L's gaze; he wanted to show L, once and for all, that there was nothing to fear, that the worst couldn't be true. To prove L wrong. It was important, and it would eventually be accomplished.
The way L has always arranged our meetings, they are secure but not actually secure enough for dealing with a Kira suspect. There are vulnerabilities I could have easily exploited, if I had wanted to. It was L testing me, and it proves that I was not on Kira's side by choice, but merely because I was being blackmailed or otherwise forced into it. It is proof that I am innocent. However, there is no doubt I had something to do with Kira in the past. I would not have cooperated willingly, but if Kira threatened to kill my family...
Does Kira still have any power over me? Will I lose more memories, or suddenly try to uncover L's identity, or become a pawn in a new plan? Is that the real reason L is letting me tag along? To see if, as soon as we reach the site, Kira tries to-
Suddenly Light's attention was drawn to the screen showing the interview, as the Yotsuba employee being interviewed mentioned seeing a monstrous handprint suddenly appearing as crushed into the plaster of a wall, which was the point where he decided to turn back.
L prodded at his lower lip and said, "Watari, make sure that man is questioned about the exact location. I would like to get an impression of the handprint before it can be destroyed."
Watari's voice replied from a centrally-placed speaker, saying, "I will relay that information to your agent."
L is taking pains to conceal these names from me. Does Kira observe everything I do? If L spoke his real name around me, would Kira know it? No, if it worked precisely like that, then Kira would have already used all those people I know to attempt to attack L by now. Kira has been passive for too long.
Light stopped the video running on his laptop and said, "L, why would Kira do this now? Why not earlier? What does Kira hope to accomplish? Kira couldn't possibly think you'll be stupid enough to show up directly on the scene in person, right?"
L didn't answer, but from the way L's face became blanker Light guessed what would happen, and he had a sinking feeling in his stomach.
Light said, "No, you're not going to risk yourself like that."
L said, "Precautions will be in place. Besides, I risk myself every time I meet with you, in case you had forgotten. Kira knows that I must be getting impatient after such a long time with no activity. It is a little bit too obvious that this event is supposed to draw my attention. Kira also knows that I have a tendency to walk right into traps in an attempt to spring them. It is an opportunity that is too good to waste, and Kira surely realizes this."
L plucked a strawberry from a bowl in front of him and swirled it into his mouth with his tongue.
I can't stop him. He'll go by himself if I protest. The problem is, he's right. Even if it is a trap, this is our chance to get Kira, to find him and punish him for all the things he's done to me, and to my father. We can't be cowards now. And, if I can stop Kira this time, then I know he'll never mess with me again.
Light said, "Watari, we need all the information we can get on this building, especially blueprints. By the time this plane lands we can both have the layout memorized."
Watari's voice said, "I have already been obtaining that information. I think it will take about three minutes until I can get the last few files and send them to the two of you."
Suddenly, one of the monitors showed activity and shouts from the police on one side of the building, many of them pointing up.
L tapped away at the keyboard in front of him and one of the monitors zoomed in, showing some object hurtling through the air at a great height, toward the building. It crashed through the glass and went inside.
Light said, "What is that?"
L brought up a bunch of still frames of the object on the largest monitor, then picked one and enhanced it. At first Light still couldn't decide what he was looking at, but a moment later his brain sorted out the extremely odd angle of the thing. It was a jackhammer.
L said, "This suggests they are trying to get something that is behind, or underneath, a concrete barrier. The bomb threat, truck crash, explosion and fires are obvious attempts to keep people away from the lower floors while they do their work."
"They?"
"Kira has at least one shinigami working for him. There is a strong chance that Kira, or someone controlled by Kira, is within that building right now. Would Kira risk coming in person? That is the question. If he is a Yotsuba employee, he could mingle with the victims and later be rescued from the roof unsuspiciously. Still, it would narrow down the number of suspects and that would be dangerous for Kira. It is more likely that Kira is now in safety and is controlling one or more persons on the scene."
In a louder voice, L said, "Watari, how many victims have been taken from the roof so far, and how many do they estimate are left?"
Watari replied, "The helicopter has rescued thirty-one. They estimate at least two hundred are remaining. A number of them are refusing to be rescued, as they have been told the building is in no danger of collapsing and also because there are rumors circulating that the helicopter will be a target next."
L said, "If the police will agree with this, either cease rescue operations or make sure those rescued are held in a secure facility. Tell the police to keep the perimeter ring as tight as possible, and to shoot at any other flying objects they see that enter or leave the building."
Light said, "Why those that leave? It might be valuable evidence that could be used to convict Kira. We don't want it destroyed!"
"Kira would have already destroyed any evidence he didn't vitally need. Because he hid it instead of destroying it, Kira must need it. If this thing is a source of Kira's power it is better to destroy it forever than to risk that it might go back to Kira, even if it means we'll never be able to convict Kira."
"But... that's wrong! Just letting Kira go, after he's killed thousands of people?"
"The goal is to keep the evidence from leaving. Of course I hope to capture it instead of destroying it, but if the evidence is already leaving, it is best to admit defeat in that area, and take the smaller victory of destroying it. Such an action would most likely save lives."
That is true. I didn't think fast enough, I was so focused on getting Kira. This mission shouldn't be about revenge.
L clutched his hands on his knees tightly and said, "Watari, make sure the police on every side are armed with incendiary rounds, to burn anything that exits."
Light said, "What could the source of Kira's power be?"
L smirked and replied, "Watch the video of your interaction with Misa in the hotel, and then the video labeled 'NPA wife interview' on your computer. Especially note the reaction you are recorded as having the first time you watched the video live."
Light began playing those videos, seeing that at the same time the informational files from Watari were arriving. He arranged the programs to view both videos and Watari's files on his laptop at once.
The Misa video contained a few things he did not remember, but it wasn't the big shock. The big shock was in the other video.
Seeing what he'd done, seeing his strange reaction on the videotape to hearing about a magic notebook, it was making the hair prickle on the back of Light's neck. There was a sense of having been someone else entirely at the time, an inability to recognize any logical reason for the reaction, an eerie sense of memories and memory holes mixed together. The idea of such loss of control, to be a pawn of Kira, it kept unsettling Light. He just couldn't be comfortable, not even slightly. Kira needed to pay.
Light could feel, though, that there was something in him that didn't want to analyze these things too deeply, something that tried to shy away from certain lines of thought. Though the idea filled him with dread, he almost wanted to suspect himself of being the original Kira, willingly.
Some facts just fit together in a certain way... yet that had to be Kira's plan, to plant self-doubt in his mind. That had to be it. That was exactly how Kira would think.
Light could feel his resentment against L suddenly draining away all at once, turning into a kind of sick guilt that gathered in his stomach in a tight knot. L was only being intelligent, he was only using logic. L wasn't to blame at all. It was admirable, really, to be able to think that way under what had to be tremendous emotional pressure.
And yet, when Light snuck a glance at L and saw the calculating look on L's face, he couldn't help but have a fresh surge of anger. L could be so cold, so clinical, sometimes. Sure, L had to be hurting inside about investigating his lover for being Kira, but he rarely showed it.
Why hasn't L told me that if it did turn out that I used to be Kira, he would forgive me? Anyone with normal emotions would have either done that or ended the relationship by now. It is heartless to leave me hanging in limbo like this. Only L could be such a bastard.
And then Light thought of how many risks L had willingly put himself under to continue the relationship, and the anger turned back into guilt just as suddenly, guilt accompanied with a terrible weight of exhaustion.
No, I can't get mired in this kind of thinking when we are finally getting clues again. I will solve this, I will find the real Kira, and then I won't ever have to worry about this again. We are very close to the end, I can feel it. I have to concentrate on what is important right now.
Light turned off the damned videos and concentrated his full attention on the files and the blueprints Watari had sent. Light quickly saw a pattern that made his heart start beating faster.
Light said, "The skyscraper has a concrete foundation that is twenty-four meters thick, and this foundation was being poured the same day that the mysterious object was dug up from the place Misa mentioned, the one that bystanders saw flying away."
L said, "Yes, the flying box. I am now sure that it was being carried by a shinigami. A pity that we never caught up to it."
Light said, "How long does it take to dig through concrete that thick with a jackhammer?"
L said, "Long enough that we might arrive before the evidence has been uncovered. This is especially likely if Kira does not have the full cooperation of whichever shinigami buried it and is unsure precisely where it was buried."
Could it really be so simple? This must be a trap, after all. But, can Kira hear everything that I hear? If that is true, Kira will know about our preparations, but perhaps Kira's link with me is now broken. In any case, I am sure L has already thought about this and is only saying things that it is fine for Kira to hear.
Light said, "That is our goal, then. To reach this evidence before Kira can disappear with it. I think Kira will let us further than the others who have tried to penetrate this mystery, because it is a trap for you, and perhaps for me as well. If Kira can kill you, I will probably be the next enemy to die."
L's eyes had that subtle sparkle that came when the end was nearing on any mystery. Light smiled to see it.
L prodded carefully at his lower lip with a thumb and said, "I think the same. It would be pointless for Kira to let a random police officer or a bomb squad member get close to the evidence, but once we arrive I am sure we will be able to get closer than anyone else has so far. Kira will try to trap us as we approach very near to the evidence, and far from any help. If we try to bring guards Kira will stop us while we are still too far away to get any useful information. We must make ourselves vulnerable in order to win this contest."
I do not like this, but it is worth it to catch Kira. There is no way that Kira can win against the two of us. We will outsmart him.
- 27
- 28
- 29
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Fever Dreams