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Coming Out	By : RenoTurk Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 4070 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Sanzo had been silent since they left town, the thought was there at the forefront of his mind, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to face that inn again… His ass was on show to the world, and he wasn’t even sure how he had let them take it so far. He was sure he was normally far more reserved.

After the sulk about Jianyi the redhead and the monkey had gone back to their banter, the incessant bitching inadvertently helped Hakkai to relax. It felt normal, well normal for them.

Gojyo was the first to head to see Nue, he wanted to be the one she saw, to make it clear it wasn’t her he was pissed at. Nue was sat in the day room sewing, they were teaching her talents to help sell items for the place they were housed in. The shelter had seemingly found no reason to distrust her and in fact had welcomed her. She was happier there than she could ever remember, and as she looked up the smile on her face was genuine.

“You look amazing.” She told him as he walked in, Gojyo found her smile infecting him, he too looked happier for it.

“Thanks, ya looking good too.” He sat near her, eyes soft. “Everything here going alright?”

“Yes, did you find him?”

“Yeah the coward backed off pretty quick, he isn’t after you anymore.” He nodded, putting her at ease as best he could.”

“The others? Is anyone hurt?”

“Not at all.” He assured her. “Just bumps and grazes but we’re all good. Any news about your health?”

“You can just say pregnant.” She chuckled softly. “It looks like there’s a chance, but don’t worry it’s not your problem. We will be fine…”

Gojyo looked at her; his red eyes swam with emotion, so many things he wanted to say. He wanted to apologise even if it wasn’t his fault, he wanted her to know he still felt guilty but as he opened his mouth to speak he was left wondering. Nue put her hand to his mouth, fingers pushing his lips closed to stop any silly comments he might make.

“Never apologise if it is not your doing.” She said to him softly. “If you want to come and check-up now and then I will never refuse you or your friends. I won’t lie to the child about who you are, but I may lie about how this happened. I think it unfair on a young one to suffer such a fate.”

“You’re going to suffer…” He whispered; he didn’t like the idea of ditching on her and carrying on if there was his kid to consider.

“I haven’t suffered here. The people look after me and make me a part of this community. Hakkai’s choice was wise.” Her hand slipped to his. “I don’t belong in your world any more than you’d belong in mine.”

“She’s right.” Sanzo walked over. “Before long the child would be a trouble, she cannot travel with us and you cannot stay behind. Either way it’s a burden on everyone if you try to stick this out longer than needs be.”

“You asshole!” Gojyo snapped standing up with his fist clenched. “No child is a burden!”

Nue stepped in again, understanding Sanzo’s words. He didn’t mean the child, he meant the situation. Gojyo sighed and lowered his fist, Sanzo looked at him angrily. They didn’t need this, she didn’t need it! Hakkai pulled the redhead aside; he needed to be diffused from his emotions a moment to think more clearly. Nue had made a plan of action and Gojyo needed to let her do that, she was no one’s prisoner anymore.

“Gojyo let her make her decisions.” Hakkai said softly. “We can return when our journey is over, this story is hers now.”

Gojyo sighed, of course they were right, but every fibre of his being hated that they were. He had never wanted to settled down, never wanted a family because his own was such a broken mess. Hakkai’s soft eyes seemed to be boring into him, knowingly chastising that internal war he was waging. He assumed Sanzo was probably fed up of his attitude by now too, all in all he felt low about it even though it hadn’t been his doing.

After a silence it was Sanzo that pulled him out of the place, Hakkai softly following and watching as Goku took an armful of fruit from the market he’d found back inside,. The two of them seemed to get on so well that the men didn’t interject. Besides Gojyo felt he needed to let them boss him around, he was not thinking straight enough to do it himself. They got the hotel room sorted fairly quickly, with four in the room and Sanzo opted to take the double with Goku. Gojyo flopped on to the single bed, arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling.

“She’s going to be okay.” Hakkai broke the lengthy silence.

“And you too.” Sanzo grumbled, he could see it biting into the core of the redhead. “Stop being a fucking whining ass.”

“Hey…” He looked at Sanzo. “This is serious shit right here and now.”

“And this is going to make it better is it?” He looked at him, the same serene violet eyes that had looked at him a hundred, thousand times and Gojyo sighed. “Look it’s bad, not entirely a disaster but pretty bad. She’s in a nice place with caring people, that’s still more than you got so you already did a better job. Got it?”

“I just feel I am not doing enough.” Gojyo muttered. Sanzo moved over, knelt by the bed and looked into his eyes. “Don’t lecture me.”

“Sha Gojyo you are an impossible man, which may be why I love you.”

“I…” Gojyo looked at him, dumbstruck. “I love you too. I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“You say that a lot.” He told him and stood up again. “Get some sleep Gojyo. We got a lot to be getting back too.”

Hakkai woke to the dulcet tones of Goku softly snoring, it was barely audible to him but he was wrapped up in the priests arms and it was the sweet sound of someone who felt safe. Sanzo’s arms were wrapped around the monkey, both of them ignorant to the troubles of the world for a few hours. Gojyo was flat on his back, shirt up and belly exposed with one hand on it, the bandaged wrists always left Hakkai reflecting on if he felt more anger or sadness about his robbed youth.

Hakkai cleared his thoughts, dwelling on all of the past events and bloodshed would only lead him into trouble. He was hardly innocent, his very existence was a myriad of sins and vice, the latest ones however, he did not regret though. The two men were both attractive and welcomed his deviances, although he thought Sanzo might be still holding reservations.

Sanzo was the next to wake, seeing Hakkai in thought he was not as happy about the snoring as his lover and sat up once it got on his nerves too much. Goku rubbed his eyes, the travel aches were gone but it took a moment for his eyes to adjust.

“We should get going once Gojyo’s wrapped up here.” Sanzo announced. “Before he feels necessity to dwell on the situation and make himself feel bad again.”

“I agree a deadline would be good for us all.” Hakkai nodded. “And a few nights leaves us chance to get more supplies in.”

“Alright let’s do it.” Goku hopped to his feet. “I’ll stock up on food and water.”

“I’ll get smokes and drinks.” Sanzo stood up.

“Guess I am doing the laundry then.” Hakkai muttered, whilst his smile never faltered he did wonder if he shouldn’t just say it was someone else’s turn for once.

Gojyo slept through, waking an hour later. He opened his eyes to find the room pleasantly empty, hs mind was a little lighter that it had been the night before so he sat up, lit a smoke and let the various scenarios play through his mind. It was a conclusion he needed to come to himself. Nue was right, she was better off in the women’s hostel and he was with two men that had stuck by him. He corrected himself, four, because Goku was just as important to him no matter how they like to banter against it.

Gojyo flicked his smoke out of the window and sat up, he needed a piss so he either needed to wait for it to go down, or to fix it himself. He decided he wasn’t horny and waited. And that feeling seemed to stay with him the few days they were there. It wasn’t even Gojyo that noticed it, when Sanzo and Hakkai were in bed one morning and he walked past to out for breakfast they both realised he was not in his usual frame of mind.
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