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Blind Fury	By : HollowedRose Category: > Durarara!! (?????!! Dyurarara!!) Views: 6534 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!! and its characters. They belong to Ryohgo Narita. I'm not making any profit from this.

Chapter List
- 27
- 28
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Chapter 28 - The Night Beckons
The air was cold as Shizuo made his way towards Izaya's apartment, the icy wind viciously biting into the skin of his face. He wasn't even there, yet he was already feeling faint, an incessant feeling of nausea taking root into his very being, blood freezing in his veins at the prospect of the upcoming meeting. He severely doubted that he could have a proper conversation with the man, let alone apologize, because the only way in which the two of them ever 'talked' was through fists, switchblade slashes and whatever object of the urban landscape that happened to be in his path. Nothing about the two of them was normal, so it stood to reason that their conversation would be anything but conventional. There would most likely be fighting, and Izaya might even try to kill him, but that was fine, because he didn't mind dying by the Informant's hands after the man had saved Kasuka from what could've been the same intense physical and emotional pain that he himself had inflicted upon him that night when he ended up abandoning his humanity with the sole intent of damaging his sworn enemy beyond repair. It was becoming more and more tiring to always think about that one night when he made the biggest mistake of his life, but perhaps that was part of his punishment, to feel as though he was stuck in a deep, dark pit with no way out, haunted by the man who succeeded in obliterating the weak brake he had on his usually blind fury.
He shivered when a particular strong gust of wind swept by as he kept walking, at the same time realizing that he was already in front of the apartment building in which Izaya resided. He scrubbed a hand over his face in an unsuccessful attempt to fully awake from wherever his mind had been wandering, and he sighed in frustration before trying to take a step up the stairs, only to freeze in his tracks when his body refused to move. Eh? Fortunately, he didn't have time to dwell on his lack of courage, because he saw Izaya walk out of the building, the man's speed suggesting that he was in a hurry to get somewhere. Shizuo instinctively spun around, taken by surprise by the unexpected appearance. Luckily he had the hood on, so his blond hair hadn't stood out like a beacon for Izaya to spot. It wasn't like he was hiding, but he didn't want their meeting to happen in such a place either, so he waited a bit until Izaya put some distance between them before he proceeded to surreptitiously pursue him.
Izaya was as fast as ever, not running but not quite walking either, making Shizuo wonder where he was heading and with whom he was meeting to cause him to be in such a hurry. It wasn't like it was any of his business, but he was curious to know if perhaps Izaya was doing most of his business in Shinjuku now because he was too scared to go back to Ikebukuro where he knew that his rapist resided. Shit, he inwardly cursed, cringing at the notion of him being nothing more than one of those disgusting rapists that every decent human being wished to wipe out from existence. Even most criminals looked down upon someone like him, because he was one of the worst types of offenders society had to offer. Life used to be much easier when he was only the rage monster who had the people in Ikebukuro run away screaming each time he lost his temper, and he never imagined how happy he would be if he could turn back time and go back to being just Ikebukuro's beast and nothing else. He could feel a bitter laugh starting to well up from deep within, and he pressed his lips tightly together in order to contain it, not wanting to alert Izaya of his presence, but the man didn't seem to pay any attention to his surroundings, as though his mind was set on a particular destination as he swiftly made his way through Shinjuku's dark streets and alleys. The hell is he doing, thought Shizuo as he trailed the Informant under the cover of the dark, careful with each step he took as to not reveal his presence. Good job, Heiwajima Shizuo, he thought bitterly, now you're not only a rapist, but a stalker too. He was craving a smoke so badly that he unconsciously withdrew the cigarettes and lighter from his pocket before coming back to his senses and shoving them back inside with a low growl, inwardly berating himself for the slip up while he ground his teeth harder in pure frustration at being unable to feed his addiction.
He didn't have time to dwell on it though, because Izaya abruptly stopped, Shizuo barely having enough time to dash behind a corner in order to avoid being seen. He felt his heartbeat quicken, and he was starting to turn paranoid thinking that Izaya might be able to hear his racing heart even from where he was standing, but the rational part of his brain knew that was not possible given the large distance between them. Then again, there really was no wonder that he was nervous, because Heiwajima Shizuo didn't sneak around, it wasn't his style, and he most certainly did not follow Orihara Izaya in the middle of the night like some sort of fucked up creep stalking his victim. But that's exactly what you're doing, idiot, he berated himself while struggling to stand still and to not make any noises that would alert Izaya of his presence. He had no idea how to explain himself if the man were to catch him spying ― even though he wasn't exactly spying ― but it wasn't like the flea would ever understand how hard it was for him to seek him out. Why's this bastard not going to a populated area already? He risked a glance around the corner and saw that Izaya was talking to some suspicious guy who was handing him something. There was obviously nothing legit about the whole thing, but Shizuo couldn't have cared less, because it wasn't like he ever thought of Izaya as being a decent human being to begin with. He knew exactly what the Informant was, a freakin' bastard and one of the biggest trolls in existence.
Just because Shizuo stopped blaming him for what happened, it didn't mean he suddenly thought that Izaya didn't deserve anything bad happening to him, or that he saw him as this poor, innocent thing who was not guilty of any sin. Izaya was still an awful human being, and Shizuo had a feeling that the flea would never change no matter what happened to him. He knew that he succeeded in breaking him somehow, the proof being Izaya's wild behavior that time when they met at Shinra' place, but he also knew that the man would always bounce back no matter what, because that was who Orihara Izaya was. There was also the matter of Izaya trying to get Kasuka raped as revenge for what happened to him, and while Shizuo knew that too was completely his fault, it still bothered him that his little brother ended up getting involved in his mess. Izaya should've gone for him instead, but if he had, then he wouldn't have been the cruel bastard that Shizuo had known for so many years. Judging by their long time feud, it was a surprise that Izaya hadn't tried to use Kasuka against him sooner. Their animosity was well known throughout Ikebukuro, and while they hated each other's guts, they had never before attempted to get their families involved. No matter what kind of bastard Izaya was, Shizuo would never hurt Mairu and Kururi in order to piss off the flea. Not that the bastard would ever get mad to begin with even if he did, because it didn't look like he had any sort of affection for his little sisters. The most important person to Izaya was Izaya himself, so when Shizuo hurt him, the man thought it was only fair that he hurt Kasuka, because Shizuo cared about him more than he cared about himself. Why did I have to piss off such an insane guy, he thought dejectedly.
He took another peek around the corner and watched as the other guy walked away while Izaya appeared to be typing a message on his phone before putting it back into his pocket and walking away as well. The flea seemed to pick up speed, so Shizuo hurried to follow before he would end up losing him, accidentally tripping on a can of something, the metallic sound attracting Izaya's attention. Shizuo immediately glued himself to the wall and hoped that Izaya hadn't seen him, the almost crimson gaze slanted his way making a shiver run down his spine. It wasn't that he was scared of the man, but what terrified him was what the Informant could do. From all the people he could've made as an enemy, he just had to get the most dangerous one of the bunch. It felt as though he was playing with fire, and he was starting to regret his decision of following him. He breathed in relief when he saw Izaya turn around and decided that it was best to go home and look for him the next day. Ugh, where the hell am I, he wondered when he realized that he had no clue where he ended up after following Izaya through the dark narrow streets of Shinjuku. Freakin' louse! He sighed in annoyance and tried to find his way to a busier street from where he could figure out where the hell he was. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket to retrieve his cigarettes and lighter as he passed a trash can, right at that moment getting jumped by someone before he was pushed face first into a wall, the blade of a knife lightly swaying barely a hair’s breadth away from the skin of his throat as he nervously swallowed. He couldn't see who it was, but judging by the fur tickling his jaw, it had to be none other than Izaya.
"Why are you following me?" Izaya asked, emphasizing his question by pushing the sharp edge of the switchblade harder into the man's skin.
Shizuo couldn't remember ever being in such a vulnerable position before, and even though it was freezing cold outside, he could feel a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face. No matter how he looked at it, the flea had both the power and the motivation to snuff his life, and it was ridiculous how the thought somehow frightened him even after he had attempted to end his own life before.
Izaya was starting to get tired of the man's silence, so he pushed his head harder into the wall. "Answer the question!"
Shizuo scrunched his eyes, teeth grinding hard against each other in frustration at having been caught, the skin of his forehead getting scraped along the wall as Izaya kept pushing his face against the rough surface. He found himself opening and closing his mouth a few times before finally finding the courage to speak. "I-Izaya..."
The voice was so faint that Izaya would've missed it had he not been listening carefully, and even though that was not how the brute usually sounded, he was almost certain that it was him. The grip on his switchblade faltered for a moment and he felt his pulse pick up, heart ratcheting up to an unsteady rhythm in his rib cage as he used his left hand to pull down the hood to better see if the one he had pinned to a wall was really Shizuo, his stomach roiling with sickening intensity at the thought that he could be so close to the beast who broke him into more pieces than he could count. He tried to stay calm but it was no use, his breath turning labored the second he saw Shizuo's blond hair in the dim light, and even though his instinct urged him to get away right at that second, his rational mind told him to stay where he was and to not let go. For once he was the one who was in control, and he had no intention of giving Shizuo any leverage to free himself, so he snaked a hand into the blond locks and tightened his hold until he heard a grunt slipping past the beast's lips. "Shizu-chan," he viciously spat out the words, disgust raging through him at being forced to touch the man he despised more than anyone and anything in the entire world, "were you trying to go for round two as punishment for what I did to your freak of a brother?"
Shizuo actually felt offended by the question, and he barely suppressed a snarl knowing that it would not help his cause. "Like I'd ever do something like that again," he said in a thick voice, heart clenching at the realization that those who knew what happened would always think of him as capable of doing the same thing a second time. The sad thing was that he couldn't really blame him, not after almost fucking the man to death. He felt the sharp edge of the switchblade cut a thin line into his skin and he groaned, wondering if perhaps this was the end for him.
"Liar," Izaya said in a low, dangerous tone, fury stirring at Shizuo's words. He was on full alert, tension bleeding into his rigid, ready stance as he sliced some more into his enemy's neck, the feeling of the warm blood slowly streaming down his skin from the fresh cut on the beast's throat making him shudder in disgust. He knew that he was imagining it as a consequence of being so close to the beast, but it felt as though that awful pain he had been forced to live with for weeks on end still lingered between his legs as a bad memory that would never go away. Shizuo's poison had slithered into his very being, and Izaya knew that he could never get rid of the taint on his body no matter how much he wished otherwise. A wry laugh spilled past his lips as his limbs shook with fine tremors, and he hoped that Shizuo couldn't tell just how terrified he was, even though he was the one who had Ikebukuro's beast at his mercy. They were in a dark alley where no one could see them, which meant that he could easily terminate the beast's pathetic existence and get away with it, especially with the contacts he had in the police department, and yet he didn't want to do it, because he didn't think that Shizuo had suffered enough for his sins. It took everything he had to hold himself back from slitting the monster's throat and leading the beast to an untimely end, but he consoled himself with the knowledge that Shizuo's suffering was far from being over. He would not be satisfied until the beast would grovel on his knees in front of him and beg for forgiveness. He harshly yanked on the blond hair until the beast's ear was right next to his lips, baring his throat more openly to the switchblade. "Let's pretend for a second that I believe you," he said in a voice so cold that it took even him by surprise, "mind explaining why you've been following me?"
Unease raised the hairs on the back of his neck and Shizuo gulped, the almost tangible bloodlust that Izaya was giving off reminding him of all the cruelty the man was capable of committing. Izaya would most likely not believe him no matter what he said, yet he had no choice but to try. "Look, it's not what you think," he said, Izaya's humorless laugh making him cringe. "I was on my way to your apartment when I saw you coming out of the building and―"
"Did you beat up Shinra for the address?" Izaya asked with a frown, hoping that was not the case.
Shizuo felt as though an invisible fist gripped his heart and squeezed it without mercy the second he heard the question. "I would never do that." He knew that he had done a lot of bad things, but to go as far as to beat up his former friend for an address was not something he would ever do. "I got your business card from Tom," he answered reluctantly.
"Ah, guess who's not getting my help from now on?" said Izaya as a matter-of-fact. "So you thought that it'd be a good idea to kill me in my own home?"
"No...no, I... I wanted to apologize," he said and shuddered when he heard Izaya's dark chuckle, the hate simmering underneath that laugh almost palpable. "I swear, I only wanted to talk to you."
"Maa, maa, Shizu-chan, don't you know that lying is bad?"
"I'm not―"
"If you're not lying, why did you follow me around instead of approaching me?"
Shizuo bit his lower lip in frustration until he felt the coppery taste of blood. "Because it's hard to talk to you after what I've done," he finally admitted, "and you kept sneaking around like a bastard instead of using the main streets. I was waiting for you to get off the dark alleys and into a populated area before approaching you. Fuck, I'm so pissed off right now," he growled. "This is not how I wanted to apologize..."
Izaya's eyes narrowed into slits as he looked askance into Shizuo's dark yellow ones after turning the man's head to see him better. "I can't figure out whether you're trolling me or you're just this stupid," was Izaya's scathing response, his voice tight with annoyance.
"I'm not the one who specializes in trolling, you fucking flea."
"Ah, that's true," Izaya conceded, "but that just means you're really this stupid, doesn't it?"
"I was leaving, you know? Why would I leave if I wanted to kill you?"
"I don't know, Shizu-chan, why would you? It's not like I could ever understand what goes on in that protozoic brain of yours. Besides, I called you 'stupid' for thinking that you even had the right to apologize after what you've done, although your decision to follow me around was just as dumb, because now I can easily slice your throat and leave you here to choke on your own blood if I so desire. Hmm, I think I'd like that very much," he mused, enjoying the mental image of Shizuo giving his last gurgled breath as he bled to death at his feet before he tightened his grip on the blond locks and thumped the brute's head into the wall hard enough to draw blood. "Ne, Shizu-chan, do you remember how many times you banged my head against the cold, wet concrete that night?"
"..."
Seeing how Shizuo kept quiet, Izaya moved closer until his lips were almost touching the beast's cold ear, his hot breath making the brute shiver as he whispered, "I really thought that I was going to die long before you would have finished thrusting that disgusting piece of flesh into my broken body."
Shizuo grimaced, aghast by the question, and he was overcome with nausea as images of that night slammed into the forefront of his mind. "Stop... please," he begged, not wanting to remember the cruel beast he ended up turning into.
Izaya's lips began to tilt upwards in a maniacal grin, the knowledge that simply mentioning the events of that time in the alley bothered the beast only making him want to continue. "Did it feel good, hmm? Did you enjoy fucking me in the ass?" he said, wondering if perhaps this was how Shizuo had felt when he had him at his mercy. "Answer me!" he commanded, before he banged Shizuo's head into the wall again. "Did it feel good to thrust into my bleeding body, yes or no??"
Shizuo swallowed hard. "Y-Yes, I enjoyed it, " he said in a quiet voice, remorse lacing his words.
"And you still have the guts to say that you're sorry, huh?"
"I'm sorry..."
"Shut up, monster!"
"I'm so sorry..."
"I said, SHUT UP!"
"I'M SORRY!" Shizuo nearly shouted, guilt weighing so heavily on his heart that it felt as though he was suffocating. "I'm sorry," he repeated in a wheezy voice as he tried to wrench himself away from the fingers capturing his hair, suddenly feeling claustrophobic, an asphyxiating pain tearing his heart to shreds.
"Shut the fuck up, beast!" Izaya snarled, his voice dripping all the venom and hate he felt for the man in his grasp. "Your sorry means nothing to me."
Shizuo forced himself to keep his lips firmly closed, not wanting to further upset Izaya. He had known from the beginning that the Informant would care little for his apologies, but that hadn't stopped him from trying.
Izaya took a shaky breath, his whole body trembling in rage, knuckles turning white from the sheer effort it took to not sink the switchblade into the beast's throat. Kill him, end him, destroy him before he destroys you, said a dark voice in his head, while the rational part of his brain besought him to halt acting out on such an impulse. Shizuo had indeed appeared to be walking away when Izaya ambushed him, and he did sound earnest in his apology, something that the brute would have no reason to fake even if he could. It wasn't like the idiot had ever been a good actor, because Izaya had always been able to read the amalgam of brutish emotions crossing his face ― not that any of it would ever erase the pain and the suffering he went through as a result of the brute's destructive actions ― but at least it meant that the monster was suffering for his sins, and the more Shizuo suffered, the better Izaya felt at seeing the brute fall apart. Not to mention that he wasn't even mentioning Kasuka, which Izaya assumed that it would've been the first thing coming out from the beast's mouth the second they would meet. Further investigation was necessary, but first he would have to verify whether or not Shizuo could keep his composure enough to not attack him. Abruptly, he jumped backwards, putting enough distance between himself and the beast to warrant his safe escape in case such action was necessary. "If you want to talk so badly, then talk, but not here."
"Huh," was the only thing falling from Shizuo's lips as he wearily wiped away some of the blood trickling down his neck.
Izaya scowled. "Keep walking. I'll tell you where to go."
Shizuo did as he was told, following Izaya's instructions each time the man told him to either go left or right until he found himself in a park. He watched as the man typed something on his phone and sent a message before he raised those crimson eyes of his and glared at him with such hate that almost made him quail from that gaze.
"Speak," said Izaya while going for one of his easygoing smiles but ending up falling a little short. His eyes locked on Shizuo's pained face, and he couldn't help but convulsively flex his hands around the twin switchblades that he now always carried with him inside the pockets of his coat.
"I completely fucked up," Shizuo said ruefully as he moved his hands to pull out the cigarettes and the lighter, only to stiffen in distress when Izaya suddenly pulled out two switchblade and assumed a defensive position. Shit! "Look, I need a smoke, ok?"
Izaya inwardly cursed himself for the mishap, willing his body to relax enough to drop the defensive position. "Those things might kill you before I decide to do it myself, so maybe you should quit, ne~?" he tried to say in his usual singsong voice, hoping that he wouldn't embarrass himself any further.
Shizuo flicked open his lighter, the flame dancing in the dark as he slowly inclined his head to lit up the cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. "You're using two switchblades now," he said as a matter-of-fact, "that's smart. Too bad you only had one that night."
"I've learned my lesson now," said Izaya, lips set into a humorless smile. "What exactly do you want from me, my forgiveness by any chance? Sorry to burst your bubble, but you will never get it."
Shizuo took a drag from the cigarette before he thrust his cold hands into the pockets of his jacket. "I don't expect to ever be forgiven for what I've done."
"Then?" Izaya asked, a bit surprised at the brute's defeated tone.
"I finally understand now."
Izaya shot him a questioning look. "And what exactly might that be?"
"Everything was my fault flea, not yours, I know that now," he said, his tone bitter from all the self-hatred he felt.
Eyes widening in disbelief, Izaya stared at the too-human monster with his mouth agape, starting to believe Kasuka's words about the beast finally taking responsibility for his actions. If that was the case, he only needed to confirm it once and for all. His eyes wandered to his phone's display screen before giving the beast his full attention.
Shizuo watched him smile, something ugly and familiar darkening his eyes before the words started rolling off the flea's tongue in an enthusiastic way.
"If that's the case, you won't mind me breaking your little brother as payment for your oh-so-kind treatment from back then," said Izaya with a malicious smirk on his face, his hackles immediately rising at the hostility Shizuo flung at him head-on the moment he mentioned Kasuka. He heard the beast growl and he took an infinitesimally step backwards, hands tightening around the handles of his switchblades as he started to question the feasibility of his plan. You're playing with fire, Izaya, he told himself, yet he couldn't stop the next words as they spilled from his lips. "Maybe next time I'm going to fuck him myself."
"Leave Kasuka out of this," Shizuo hissed, barely able to hold himself back as the emotional upheaval tore at his resolution to never again hurt the man before him.
"Why should I?" continued Izaya, his malevolent delight making Ikebukuro's beast snarl.
"Hurt me instead, break me, cut me, do whatever you want, just leave him alone," Shizuo begged, hands shaking in both anger and fear as he threw the cigarette butt on the ground and crushed it under the sole of his shoe.
"But Shizu-chan is a beast, so he'd hardly feel anything if I were to do any of the things above. Hurting his little brother on the other side... now that will surely hurt him, ne?"
"Please..." Shizuo tried again, trying his hardest to not lunge himself at the bastard and twist his neck until it'd break with a sickening crunch.
Izaya smirked, finally hearing into the distance the specific noise he was waiting for. "I don't know why you're so against it," he said, ready to go for the finishing blow. "He'd probably not even bat an eyelid, or who knows, he might even enjoy it."
Shizuo's hands balled into fists, and he felt his control quickly slipping away. "IZAYA!!!" he growled louder than before, drowning in the usual blind rage that took over each time he had to deal with Izaya, only to breathe in relief when Celty seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, causing dust to fly into his eyes before her bike came to a complete stop between them.
"Courier-san, you're three minutes late," said Izaya as he checked the time on his phone.
Celty got off the bike and approached him, her entire frame rigid with tension after seeing how she had dropped in the middle of a dangerous situation. [ I'm sorry for being late, ] she typed on her PDA and showed it to Izaya, trying really hard to pretend that Shizuo wasn't there, because she didn't know how to act around him after finding out what happened between the two men.
Izaya shrugged. "It's fine." He turned to Shizuo. "Relax, Shizu-chan, I was simply joking. Hurting Kasuka again would be redundant. I'm not such a boring person," he said and watched as the tension in Shizuo's body seemed to have left him all at once.
Celty only gave Shizuo a furtive glance before turning her attention back to Izaya. [ You said you needed me to deliver something, so what is it? ]
"Just something I'm carrying," he said in a serious tone, watching with no little amount of surprise at how relieved and grateful the beast seemed to be after telling him that he would leave Kasuka alone. You're so predictable, stupid beast.
Celty immediately got the message and used her black smoke to make a helmet for the Informant. She didn't know how to deal with Shizuo yet, nor did she want to, not when her thoughts and emotions in regard to his person were a jumbled mess, so instead of addressing the man, she decided to focus on the job and to deal with him another time.
Izaya took the helmet the Dullahan handed to him and got on the bike behind her. "She knows by the way," he said with the nastiest smirk he could muster, inwardly reveling at the way Shizuo's face twisted in anguish before Celty drove into the night and away from Ikebukuro's beast. He knew that he had risked a lot by trying to piss him off, but now he was certain that Shizuo was sorry and that he really did try his best to not attack him even when Izaya kept threatening to hurt Kasuka. Breaking you will be so much fun, he thought excitedly. You will learn what a mistake it was to mess with Orihara Izaya.
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Blind Fury