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(Never) Let Him Know	By : Fullmetal_Masochist Category: -Misc Anime > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1808 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul or any of the characters in the series. I am making no money from this story.

Chapter List
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Hide
"N-No, that's not who you are! You're Kaneki Ken, okay? We have to go now, so please stand up!" When he finally did look at me, his eyes reflected no sign of recognition. When he looked at me, he saw a stranger.
"I-I can't." I was so preoccupied with the condition of his arms that I didn't notice his legs. They attacked him more viciously there, likely to keep him from running away.
I bent down and put my back towards him. "Here, wrap your arms around my neck, I'll carry you." I didn't want to scare him more, but if Mado was telling the truth, we didn't have much longer before the police arrived. "Please Sasaki, trust me and let me help you get out of here!"
His arms weakly wrapped around my shoulders as he leaned against my back. Picking him up took little effort. He'd lost weight since I'd last seen him. Once I had him securely held, I rushed out the door and back the way I came. One of the closed doors I'd passed earlier was now open. Glancing in to make sure there weren't any other Aogiri Ghouls that could attack us on the way out, I saw another person on the ground. They were human, judging by the smell, although there was a strong Ghoul scent surrounding them. Knowing I should be prioritizing our escape above all else, I couldn't help but feel for any other humans that were kept here like Kaneki.
"Hey, this is your chance to get out. I can't carry you, but if you can walk you can follow me," I said from the doorway.
"Mama told me to be a good boy and stay here. I don't want to make Mama mad again." They also had white hair, though it wasn't a result of trauma. When I saw his sharp, crimson eyes, I realized he was albino. He didn't have wounds like Kaneki had either, but instead red stitches sewn into his skin in random patterns.
"C'mon kid, Mama will understand if you leave. She wouldn't be mad at you for going somewhere safe, right? Just follow me, and we'll get out of here!" I reached out my free hand to show him I wanted to help, my eyes pleading for him to get up and move.
He shook his head once more, "I promised Mama I'd wait for her."
Just as I was about to grab his wrist and drag him behind me, Touka appeared in the doorway.
"We gotta leave, the police are almost here!" She looked at Kaneki briefly, "He passed out, that should make it easier to get away. Put your damn mask on and keep his face covered as well. We can't let them identify any of us!" She ran off before noticing the boy I was trying to save.
I looked at the pale teenager one more time, my eyes stinging with hot tears. "Please..."
"I'll be okay, Mama will make sure no one hurts me, just like she always does. I'm Suzuya; maybe we'll meet again soon."
I withdrew my hand and used it to wipe my eyes dry. I released my kagune and used them to hold Kaneki against my back while I put my mask on. After that, I spread them out to shield him from sight. Suzuya watched in awe but still didn't make a move to escape.
"I can only hope, kid. Stay safe." My frustration overwhelmed me as I started running for the exit again. I know I didn't owe him anything, but what kind of person could I say I am if I didn't try to save him? I already questioned my humanity on a daily basis. I didn't need another reason to feel like a monster.
"I treated his bite wounds and leg injuries and got him cleaned up. I gave him some sedatives to help him rest more comfortably. His physical state aside, there isn't much I can do for the psychological trauma he's endured. It'll take time for him to feel safe enough to emerge from this other personality he created to cope with his situation."
"So he made this 'Sasaki Haise' person up as a defense mechanism? Is there anything I can do to help Kaneki come back?"
Yoshimura only shook his head, "He'll need time to recover, but I think it would be good for him to see that he has support and security. It'll be a while until he can walk on his own again. Perhaps you can use that as an opportunity to bond with him and slowly show him glimpses of Kaneki's life. It's not guaranteed to bring him back, but it could help him to eventually remember. Just take it slow with him. He's been through a tremendous ordeal; more stress could regress him even further."
"He's using the name of the main character in Eto's latest book," Touka said as she approached us. "He was reading it the day he was taken. Since that story was fresh in his mind, that may be why he chose that name. He said he sympathized with the character, so he must have felt they had something in common to adopt his persona."
I wasn't familiar with the book or the character. I'd been away so much lately I wasn't sure of anything about Kaneki's daily life anymore. Thankfully, I have no reason to leave now that I got my answers from Kanou. But the cost of resolving that was too high, and I wasn't even the one who paid for it.
"I... Can I see him? I won't wake him, but could I sit with him for a while?"
"Certainly, take all the time you need. We'll be downstairs in the cafe if you need anything." Yoshimura and Touka left as I advanced to Kaneki's room. I quietly stepped in and shut the door. Kaneki had an IV drip attached to deliver nutrients and medicine to his body, as well as treat him for severe dehydration. Despite his condition, he appeared to be resting comfortably. I took a seat next to his bed and reached for his hand. It was cold, his skin felt dry and rough, the nails ragged and cracked. I couldn't hold my feelings in any longer and lurched forward out of the chair and went down on my knees beside his bed.
"I'm... I'm so sorry, Kaneki," I sobbed as I held his damaged hand up against my cheek. "You didn't deserve any of this. It should have been me. Why are you the only one to carry all of our scars?"
I kneeled there and cried until my eyes dried up and I exhausted myself. He was the only one that ever saw me at my weakest moments. It was a relief to cry, and I felt like I could approach this with a more level mind now.
"Y-You must miss him."
Surprised, I jumped to my feet to see that Kaneki was awake, his sleepy eyes watching me warily.
"Kan... Err, Sasaki. I'm glad to see you're awake. How are you feeling?"
"I'm still tired, and a lot of me is aching. I don't recall your name, even though you rescued me. I-I'm sorry for that."
"No, don't say you're sorry. My name is Nagachika Hideyoshi, but you can call me Hide."
He nodded in response, "It's nice to meet you, Hide. I don't think I thanked you for your help either. Thank you for saving me. I'm not sure why I was being kept there, but it didn't seem to be a nice place."
"It wasn't, Sasaki. You don't have to worry about it anymore; you're safe here."
"Where is 'here,' if you don't mind me asking?"
"You're at Anteiku. It's a coffee shop that helps people that... are in need of assistance sometimes. Just like you were before. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but it's better if you rest for now. There'll be plenty of time to talk later. I'll be close if you need anything, Sasaki." I started to walk away, then felt a hand grab my sleeve.
"P-Please, call me Haise. And, would you mind just sitting here with me for a while? If you have things to do then don't worry, but..."
"No, I'll stay if that's what you want, Haise." I returned to the chair and watched him get comfortable in bed again. He broke the silence once more after he'd settled in and closed his eyes.
"Why did you save me, Hide? Was it because I look like the one you were searching for?"
I wasn't expecting that question from him so soon. I wasn't sure how to approach it. Should I tell him directly about Kaneki and who he really is? I should have discussed this with Yoshimura more thoroughly. He did say that any more stress could make it worse.
"In a way, yes. I'm not sure how much you remember about what happened there, but Kaneki was the reason I went in there in the first place. But I found and saved you. When you're feeling better, I'll explain things in more detail, but for now, it's best that you save your strength."
Haise nodded and pulled the covers up to his chin, something I never saw Kaneki do in all the times we slept together. He hated being completely covered and spent most nights with at least one arm and leg hanging out of the sheets. Just how much of him changed when he became Haise?
"I hope you find him, your friend Kaneki. You must care about him a lot," Haise said as his eyes grew heavy and he drifted off to sleep once again.
Tears flooded my eyes once again, and I was relieved that he had fallen asleep before seeing them. "More than you'll ever know, Haise. Far more than you can imagine."
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(Never) Let Him Know